Question about what to do with ends

[cocolover]

I'm really torn right now and was hoping for some advice from you all based on your experiences. My hair feels nice and soft all the way down to my nasty straw, doll-hair ends :( In the past I have always cut my because when it got close to BSL because the ends got horrible. I really want to push through and get to waist, but I think my ends look so ugly! The rest of my hair looks very healthy and then the ends kind of ruin it. I am thinking of a trim, but my concern is the new ends will just become nasty too and then I'll never get any longer!

Here is what my ends have not been subjected to: blow drying, curling irons, flat irons, hair coloring with anything other than henna mixes like Surya henna or Light Mountain (which I don't think would damage...)

Here is what they have been subjected to pre-LHC: brushing with a wooden paddle brush and a hair pic that had seams, sleeping with it down and loose, occasional hair bands that had that clump of glue that probably tore at the hair

Pre-LHC I washed with AO shampoos and conditioners, I did not oil my hair though. Since joining LHC I use Fox's cream on the ends morning and night, comb with a seamless comb and I'm now braiding for night and securing with a silk scrunchie.
I don't feel like my hair was super abused before, but my ends are just gross. I've been doing SMT-like treatments, I've clarified, I don't know what else to do as they stay straw-like. If I had super abused them, I wouldn't question trimming them off. I just don't want to get into a cutting cycle, I'm worried my ends will always be nasty and I'll just keep cutting. Has anyone else experienced this?
Any suggestions or thoughts to help me out. Thanks in advance.

[SimplyViki]

They might just sort of feel that way, even though they're not really that way. My ends look fine, but sometimes feel like that "doll hair" you describe, and my ends have been through somewhat worse - I have old dyes and highlights in my ends. The feel really does bother me, but it feels improved every time I trim, even just a little, so my recommendation is frequent (once every month or two) small trims, until it's all gone.

[RancheroTheBee]

What SimplyViki said. My ends do that, too, and after a month or two of neglect, it's time to trim again. Just do the tiniest of microtrims, and it will make a big difference.

[Carolyn]

Don't give up. I'd advise lightly oiling your ends and damp bunning now that it's summer. Do small mini trims and S & D as need for split ends. Get your hair past the BS stage and maybe plan on trimming an inch or so when you are closer to waist.

[spidermom]

I'd do small trims on a regular basis until the ends become as you like them. I feel I've still got pre-LHC damage on mine. My post-LHC hair is now down to about waist; I think of cutting back to that point all the time, although my ends are in pretty good shape. I can still find more splits than I'd prefer.

[kdaniels8811]

My dry ends benefit greatly from catnip tea soaks. You may want to consider that. Cutting - you are correct, cut it off and you are in the cycle and it never gets long. I am just letting mine grow, crunch ends and all. It sounds like you are doing lots and lots right so my advice would be to just let it grow. And catnip tea soaks - off to make some for my hair! Good luck!

[cocolover]

Hmmm.....maybe I'll just get more vigilant with s&ds. I've been doing them every few weeks. Was anyone able to take care of their ends with just s&ds and not trims?

[Autumnberry]

My dry ends benefit greatly from catnip tea soaks. You may want to consider that. Cutting - you are correct, cut it off and you are in the cycle and it never gets long. I am just letting mine grow, crunch ends and all. It sounds like you are doing lots and lots right so my advice would be to just let it grow. And catnip tea soaks - off to make some for my hair! Good luck!

I think that Ktani started a catnip tea rinse thread. I've yet to try it, but it sounds like a great way to moisterize without getting too much buildup.

[ArumiKusari]

My hair is the same as well. the last 2 inches are horrible, tangly stiff and blah. Well, they were, and they keep getting better as i tweak my routine. I would advise trying the Fox's shea butter cream, i believe this helped me the most of all! And keep trimming slightly every 2-3months, i do this mainly to rid myself of layers, at least the most bottom one, since it makes my ends look extra thin.
I thought of cutting those ratty ends of at once to just be rid of it, but I'm too scared that it will become an never ending cycle, co I'd advise against cutting.

[hennaphile]

Before you trim, I would highly advise oiling with avocado, coconut, or EVOO and se where that gets you. Also, cassia did wonders for my hair. I happen to know the brands of henna you used, and they aren't as pure/quality as body art quality henna. I'd recomend you try body art quality henna as it can do wonders for hair, I know mine saw a world of difference. Good luck!

[manderly]

I'm really fighting the urge to hack off about an inch or two. I just did a microtrim last night. No deep treatments are helping, so I guess I just have to suck it up and cut it all off (which will bring me up above BSL again), or continue microtrimming it off.

I feel your pain.

[cocolover]

Thanks for all the input. I decided to do a microtrim last night and my ends feel a little better. I think I will microtrim every few months and keep experimenting with methods to revive my ends. Last night I misted them and then saturated them with avacado oil (from past experience, coconut oil makes them even crunchier). They seem softer today. I was amazed that all of the oil was soaked in my this morning! My ends are endlessly thirsty!

[Madame J]

My ends have been feeling frizzly lately and I just trimmed under a month ago. So I smoothed some coconut oil on them this morning before I went running, and then after I showered (did a WO wash), I used a shea butter lip balm from Perfect Organics that I found when I was looking for a leak-proof, small-sized alternative to coconut oil for traveling. It's just shea butter, sweet almond oil, jojoba oil, hazelnut oil, vitamin E, and orange EO. Smells great and works as a lip balm and hair balm. It also comes in mint and vanilla flavors.

I don't know what my ends feel like right now, since they're in a damp bun, but after I went running, they felt nice and smooth just after a coconut oiling. I always think of my hair as oily, but the ends can suck up a lot of oil.

[Anje]

How do you wear your hair by day? If your ends are normally loose, it could be contributing to the way they're getting worn out and frazzled. Try babying them for a while, and tuck them deep into buns while still damp, to see if that improves them.

If it doesn't help, you might need to take an inch or so off, but then continue to baby the new ends. They'll get better if you maintain your length for a while and are careful to protect them. In any case, don't trim too much -- small trims are often more effective than big chops, especially for people who are in the cycle of hacking off a few inches worth of bad ends.

[spidermom]

Hmmm.....maybe I'll just get more vigilant with s&ds. I've been doing them every few weeks. Was anyone able to take care of their ends with just s&ds and not trims?

This is my experience: When I joined in 2005, I had quite a bit of damage from curling iron use and flat-ironing and careless handling. I could feel where the damage started by taking a pinch of hair between my fingers near the scalp and running them toward the ends. There was a clear line where my hair felt dry and rough instead of smooth and silky. I've probably cut away a foot of hair since then because within 3-4 months after a trim, the ends would get dry and rough again, so it isn't true that if you trim the ends, you will never gain length. If you don't believe, see my sig pic. Now I feel no difference at all when I run my fingers down a pinch of hair. I've been maintaining with only S&D for the past 10-1/2 months, but I had to get rid of the damaged ends first. They stuck together like Velcro and I was fighting with my hair every day, not enjoying it.

[Sarah4983]

This is so informative! The last 2 inches of my hair feel much drier than the rest.... so I'm going to try using coconut oil as suggested to see if it helps. (no trims as I just officially joined the 'no trims' club!) hehe

[missmandy]

How do you wash your hair, and how often? You might consider doing the Condition Wash Condition Method if you're not already, and cutting the amount down to once every two days or so. Hope it works out well in the end.

[cocolover]

MadameJ-I think my hair likes the fox's cream so much because it has shea butter in it like your lip balm does. Straight coconut oil makes me soooo crunchy.

Anje- I do wear my hair down about 50% of the time, usually in a half up. I love long hair down and wanted to enjoy it down sometimes. I will have to think about putting it up for a season and seeing if that makes a difference. Summer is a great time to try that, too hot to have it down anyway :)

Spidermom-that really gives me something to think about. My hair is exactly where yours was. I take a strand and run my fingers down and feel exactly where it goes from smooth and soft to straw. What do you think made the change so that your ends now STAY soft after a trim. I would love to run my fingers down my hair and not feel a difference!!!! The ends are not filled with splits, but the hair feels straw-like.

miss mandy-currently I was with shikakai and amla about twice a week. I oil my scalp with ramtirth oil pre-wash and every morning and night put a fox's cream on my ends. My fox cream is shea butter, coconut oil and meadowfoam oil. The rest of my hair is thriving under this routine, but my ends have stayed gross.

[Maelyssa]

I think you should look into the self-trimming method or if you have a really trusted friend or family member who can do micro trims for you every few months.
Spider Mom has some really great advice.

My ends are currently going through the same thing...no matter how well I care for them they look & feel abused. I'm actually planning on an intense SMT tonight & light oiling on the ends afterward.
I've been trying out different poos & conditioner then trying out leave-ins vs. no leave-ins & can't seem to work this problem out.
It does seem to help having a microtrim done though.
Do one soon then again in a few months & so on.
Quite a few members of the forum came here with the same issue & microtrims seemed to really have made a world of difference for them.
Most of them have amazing hair hip length or beyond now.