View Full Version : Feeling disappointed
ieiazel
May 29th, 2009, 01:45 PM
I have just come from a first meeting with my new boss, and I have to admit that I have used the flat iron again :oops:
I left the flat iron about 2 months ago (had been using it every other day for at least 2 years), when I started using the blow drier only. Then I stopped using the blow drier too, and I have been air drying for a month or so. I have to say that my hair is quite wild, and that 2 disastrous cuts left me with 1/3 of my hair (no kidding) employed in the weirdest fringe ever seen by human kind.
I have been trying to getting used to the natural texture of my hair, and oils and natural shampoes have helped a little.
But today this healthy routine has changed. I didn't feel comfortable going with my wavy blah hair to the meeting, and though it was a very informal one, I decided to use the flat irons again.
It seems that I will never get used to the feeling of my hair, with the fly-aways, the crazy fringe and my not curly-not straight-never-in-the-right-shape hair. I'm trying my best, but I can't see any results ... :sad
Does it happen to any of you?
edensapples
May 29th, 2009, 01:54 PM
I am guilty of this. I flat-iron on special occasions, I let them straighten my hair after I have it cut, and use it occasionally when I just want my hair to look really good.
I try not to feel too bad about it, and remember to baby the length and ends after.
P.S. The ad for a flat iron beneath your post really made me laugh.
spidermom
May 29th, 2009, 01:59 PM
I don't see how long your hair is, but at certain lengths, my hair could not be worn in its natural state. For example:
http://i25.photobucket.com/albums/c79/spidermom/BOONEW.jpg
That was natural, air-dried hair (makeup by goth niece). Yes I blow-dried it and used a curling iron. I didn't want to scare small children every time I left the house.
Do what you have to do. With protein and moisture treatments, your hair will probably grow just fine. With extra length, it will probably calm down and lay better. You can have any resulting damage trimmed away later.
Fractalsofhair
May 29th, 2009, 02:01 PM
I get encouraged by my aunt to straighten my hair! It's really annoying. I suggest you find a stylist who can work with your hair type, and bangs might not be ideal if you have wavy hair. Or else you can just straighten your bangs and leave the rest of your hair alone.
melrose1985
May 29th, 2009, 02:05 PM
I do this a lot, but haven't in a while. My hair is straight (I think) but because I"m at Collar bone it lays all different. Everytime i straighten it I don't like it after and I just relized the other day my hair is very uneven (i'm not cutting it though) so I straighten it it will show more. For me days I hate my hair it just goes back.
I really don't think ironing every once in a while is a big deal.
LittleOrca
May 29th, 2009, 02:16 PM
I do have a problem with blow drying my hair after I have been at the pool because I don't like my hair being wet in public. I have resisted this urge though and I am glad I did, it dried so much better and it didn't need another CO wash to make it feel better.
I have not used flat irons though, for when I need to look more "grown up" or business-like, I use french twists and sock buns. They do the trick. :)
ieiazel
May 29th, 2009, 02:29 PM
I stopped ironing my fringe a month ago. I really should show you my bangs when I don't blow dry and flat iron them, but I don't have any picture yet. Pretty much like two wings sprouting from the top of my forehead!:pumpkin: The thing is that fringes really suit my face, but this time they took waaaaay too much hair and cut it in strange layers, so it is never right no matter what I do.
I guess all of you are right, my hair will tame when it gets longer, and I really want to keep with the healthy routine. I think I'll buy aloe gel to tame the frizz, it may control the waves without taking the volume away. What bothers me is that I'm not confident enough in myself, I'm too self-conscious. When I have a good hair day I behave more confidently!
Thanks for your support and advice!:puppykisses:
misstwist
May 29th, 2009, 02:33 PM
I understand the impulse to tame the waves, especially in a work environment.
Perhaps when you have some time you could experiment with going curlier rather than straightening it.
There are some retro ladies on You Tube who have good tutorials on pincurls. Well set pincurls will hold for a long time, longer than heatset curls.
Arranged into a nice style it will look just as professional as flatironed hair. Professional looking hair is about looking well groomed and polished. You can do that with curls just as well.
I use a pincurl set about once a week on nearly waistlength hair. I mostly get the Veronica Lake wave over the eye effect out of it. My hair is very smooth going down the length with nice bounce and curled ends.
A few quick pincurl tutorials.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=57l_AjspIq8
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J6-3J6Lzit0
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5QmIQlK-HYA
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dUgj-BmActE&feature=related
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oVbGb-AET4s&feature=related
Xandergrammy
May 29th, 2009, 02:38 PM
Seems like every once in awhile spidermom and I have to pull out our scariest pictures to offer encouragement to someone. I know what it's like to be frustrated with your hair and not know what to do with it. Here is what my hair looked like when I first started to grow it. The good news is that the longer it got, the more I got used to it and the better it behaved. I never did flat iron or blow dry because I hate the smell of burning hair, so my time has been spent trying to make it look nice in its natural state. There IS a light at the end of the tunnel. Just hang in there. :flowers:
http://i52.photobucket.com/albums/g6/Xandergrammy/59e1dcab.jpg
ieiazel
May 29th, 2009, 03:19 PM
My goal is to get a waist-long healthy wavy hair, like so many LHCers with gorgeous hair, and to reduce the shedding.
My mum and sister have both curlier hair (though both of them flat-iron it :(), but mine isn't really that curly. It is wavy and has some spiral curls (especially around the face), and they look pretty curl after I wash my hair, but after a while they become a mess. Even when it is flat-ironed, my hair doesn't hold the shape.
Your stories are really funny and encouraging, thank you, really!!:heartbeat
Curlsgirl
May 29th, 2009, 05:01 PM
My hair was terrible at shorter lengths too. I did have to trim quite a bit when I stopped using the flat iron though. I would say as soon as you can grow it out long enough to wear it up, try to stop. Then you can wear it like that until it gets to be a prettier length down. Everyone's hair is different of course and some can take heat better than others.
Elphie
May 29th, 2009, 05:28 PM
I wouldn't worry so much about ironing or blow drying your fringe if you plan to keep it. That part of your hair gets trimmed often enough to not show much damage.
Hang in there!
SheWolf
May 29th, 2009, 05:45 PM
These days I let my hair airdry until barely damp, then I use the blowdryer for the smoothing effect. I only use it for a few minutes, it doesn't seem to fry it, that way.
manderly
May 29th, 2009, 09:47 PM
I don't see how long your hair is, but at certain lengths, my hair could not be worn in its natural state. For example:
http://i25.photobucket.com/albums/c79/spidermom/BOONEW.jpg
That was natural, air-dried hair (makeup by goth niece). Yes I blow-dried it and used a curling iron. I didn't want to scare small children every time I left the house.
Do what you have to do. With protein and moisture treatments, your hair will probably grow just fine. With extra length, it will probably calm down and lay better. You can have any resulting damage trimmed away later.
Seems like every once in awhile spidermom and I have to pull out our scariest pictures to offer encouragement to someone. I know what it's like to be frustrated with your hair and not know what to do with it. Here is what my hair looked like when I first started to grow it. The good news is that the longer it got, the more I got used to it and the better it behaved. I never did flat iron or blow dry because I hate the smell of burning hair, so my time has been spent trying to make it look nice in its natural state. There IS a light at the end of the tunnel. Just hang in there. :flowers:
http://i52.photobucket.com/albums/g6/Xandergrammy/59e1dcab.jpg
I love you both so much :inlove: These two photos make me feel so much better about my hideous hair past :D
Mushroom head!!
http://i2.photobucket.com/albums/y50/astrauser/CIMG1435.jpg
Katze
May 30th, 2009, 04:07 AM
OK, no one here is going to kill you! Though you might want to try other methods for straightening - wrapping or blowdrying straight. My BF has 2c-3a hair and I cannot IMAGINE trying to get it straight - if I had his curls, I would enhance them in every way possible. :)
We recently had a professional family portrait taken to send to relatives in the USA, and I blowdryed my hair AND used hair gel on it too. It actually looks GOOD in the pics. Every other time I have tried to make my hair look good - I went to an important meeting last winter and had what I thought was a nice braided updo that ended up looking TERRIBLE in pics - it fails.
So if you need the flatiron to feel confident once in a while, it's not going to kill you, though you know it is not great for your hair. ;)
My hair is horribly messy, with a massive halo of baby hairs, so slippery that it falls out of everything, and is probably 20 different lengths.
I have no qualms about occasional, low heat blowdrying and using hair gel to hold it when it is looking good. After all, I have to live with my hair.
What about curly-girl methods - CO, more moisture, etc? Twirling your hair around your fingers when it's drying, plopping, scrunching, etc might help you feel better about your curls and slowly get you away from the iron...
just my two cents based on dealing with BF's curly hair and my own messy, not-quite-wavy hair...
Melisande
May 30th, 2009, 04:39 AM
Wow, this thread is encouraging from the other side of the fence, too. I have always envied wavies and curlies since my hair is flat like a flunder. I have always hated my flat head, my limp wishy washy hair, this boring lack of wave or volume.
I never really believed that others have their problems too - but I believe it now ;-) How nice for you though that added length helps - for me, it aggravates the problem....
florenonite
May 30th, 2009, 08:36 AM
I love you both so much :inlove: These two photos make me feel so much better about my hideous hair past :D
Mushroom head!!
http://i2.photobucket.com/albums/y50/astrauser/CIMG1435.jpg
I think your hair's actually quite nice here <...<
To the OP, how long is your hair? If you can get it into any kind of a bun, chances are that will look more professional than straightening it. As for the fringe, perhaps you could French braid along the top of your head to remove some of the excess hair?
Torrin Paige
May 30th, 2009, 09:07 AM
I have the "not quite straight, not quite wavy" hair myself. I blow dry around twice a month (when I want it straight, I have to) and when I'm not blowing it dry I usually braid it in 3 or four braids, soft roll the ends, and wear it wavy until the next wash. That way it almost always looks nice. Very occasionally I just let it air dry...but I almost never leave it down in its natural state as it just looks a mess. I just wear it up so I don't have to look at it. LOL. Blowdrying hasn't ruined my hair...but I am an abuser of -cones, so there is that. Don't fret too much. The occasional blow dry and flat iron isn't irreperable...just try not to do it every day and you'll be just fine.
manderly
May 30th, 2009, 02:30 PM
I think your hair's actually quite nice here <...<
To the OP, how long is your hair? If you can get it into any kind of a bun, chances are that will look more professional than straightening it. As for the fringe, perhaps you could French braid along the top of your head to remove some of the excess hair?
This is back when I blew it out. I wanted to show that a growing-out haircut doesn't necessarily look better just because you style it :p
melrose1985
May 30th, 2009, 02:36 PM
Seems like every once in awhile spidermom and I have to pull out our scariest pictures to offer encouragement to someone. I know what it's like to be frustrated with your hair and not know what to do with it. Here is what my hair looked like when I first started to grow it. The good news is that the longer it got, the more I got used to it and the better it behaved. I never did flat iron or blow dry because I hate the smell of burning hair, so my time has been spent trying to make it look nice in its natural state. There IS a light at the end of the tunnel. Just hang in there. :flowers:
http://i52.photobucket.com/albums/g6/Xandergrammy/59e1dcab.jpg
FANTASTIC picture!
rani
May 30th, 2009, 06:02 PM
My hair is still in the awkward stage between chin and shoulder so I flat-iron occasionally if I have someplace nice to go. Mostly I just go over the top layers so it lays flat and doesn't frizz. My hair used to curl aggressively around my face so I had to straighten it every morning or I looked like I had a pyramid on my head. Now that it's a little longer I can back off a little bit.
ieiazel
May 31st, 2009, 05:02 AM
My hair is now around 22 inches long (one inch and a half from BSL), so I hope it will start behaving soon enough. When my hair was shorter I HAD to use the flat irons, otherwise my hair would have looked exactly as in spidermom's picture!:D
My fringe ... *sighs*... I'm letting it grow no matter what. I'm tired of it and I want my hair back. The ponytails are ridiculously thin without it!
Sometimes when I let my hair air dry I follow the advice of a fellow LHCer and divide it into two and curl both parts with my fingers. It gives the curls more shape, but unfortunately the curls don't last very long.
Thanks for your advice, you are the best!:cheese:
euphrasyne
May 31st, 2009, 06:32 AM
I have wavy/curly hair that even at brastrap has enough poof to defy gravity and stick straight out from the sides. My tools of last resort? Leave in conditioner and a bun variant. From the office to the nursery, nothing says capable like a well placed hairfork.
cheryl
Carolyn
May 31st, 2009, 12:08 PM
Please don't guilt yourself about an occasional blow drying or flat ironing. It's OK. A lot of us do it for special occasions. I did it last week because I missed the feeling of nice stick straight hair. I enjoyed my hair for the day and now I'm over it for a while.
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