What would you do???Need some advices with hair

[Lile]

These are my most recent shots:

http://forums.longhaircommunity.com/album.php?albumid=3167

I'm really thinking what should I do with my hair...
My goal length is hip.
My hair is layered at the moment,which fits my face better than if I grew it all to one length.
BUT:

I don't like hairdressers.I don't hate them or anything(I could hate them for that unintentional perm I got...still suffering it's effects)But anyway.I found a good one.Good because she is listening,never cut too much if I don't want to.BUT every time I go to her,and ask to make TWO layers,she just doesn't do it. :( Always just trimming from my existing super chaotic "layers".She doesn't reorganise them.Maybe it's just not possible...I don't know.I couldn't find any photos of how I imagine it to be.
So I'm thinking about taking my hair under my own control,and growing it to all one length.
I could do this,and then no risk.
Or no cutting at all!But then I hate the damaged ends so much.The only time I have them relatively soft is after some super treatments"oiling,conditioning,whatever.
I want healthy hair.

But I still like layers.
Long long layers.
I don't want to go to an other hairdresser,since she is the only one I trust ,that she'll not cut more than I want back.(But still not doing the style I want)


What would you do?
Layers can be so annoying sometimes...
Straight same length hair can be so annoying sometimes...:p(flat on my head)
Damaged ends can be.....

Hope to get some advices here!;)

[AlisaB]

Honestly, I would just tell her to make the layers as long as she possibly can, and then oil your ends from here on out. Especially if you have the remnants of a perm in there. Even if she gives you three layers, if it looks better on you that's what counts. Plus, you get some weight off your head :)

[spidermom]

You could try the self-cut where you make a ponytail on top of your head, then slide your fingers down the tube of hair until you get near the ends and cut them off straight across. When you take the ponytail out, you will have long layers! Be sure you get the ponytail exactly centered and that all the hair is smooth and even. Lumps will give uneven and unattractive results.

Somebody demonstrates this on You Tube. I don't know how to give links, sorry.