Mental exercises for a longhair to be?

[Heidi_234]

It very common around here I noticed, many people who grow their hair out feel like their hair currently is short, even if it's already longer than most people's hair out there. I have it too, my hair hangs around waist and some locks brush hip length, but it feels so darn short! It is even worse when you look at a person and envy their long hair, and your own hair is actually much longer!
It's kind of understandable - those who grow it to terminal never feel like their hair is long enough. Those who had a goal in mind and have yet reached it feel like they need most inches to feel like longhairs. Sometimes those who reach their goals feel like it's not as long as they thought, and so they set a new goal and start feeling like their hair is not long enough yet again.
Is there anything we can do to feel like we have long hair, right here, right now? It's a shame to go on this years long journey and not enjoy it as much just because of crooked perceptions.
How can one convince himself to feel like a longhair already?

[Fencai]

oooo! this is a good thread!

while I dont have any advice, as I suffer from this myself! (currently at BSL)

I would just try to make it part of my daily affirmations, to tell myself that "My hair is long, and beautiful!"

[redneckprincess]

good post, I will accept my hair as getting long when it hits between APL and BSL. I think...its still so short now to even really know

[mira-chan]

At classic or so, my hair doesn't feel long at all. It doesn't feel short, but I don't notice how long it is. And yup, feels like a bit more length would be nice.

[Rapunzal2Be]

My hair is just at shoulder length. I've got a LONG way to go to really feel like I have LONG hair. But when I get down about it, or when I think, "Gee, all I can do is a pony tail right now...blah" I realize that my hair would really look no better in any other "short style" than it does right now and that I should enjoy my hair at each step of the way.

So I admire its shininess and the softness of the ends and then play around with my makeup instead of obsessing over how long it is going to take to grow my hair long. :)

[JessTheMess]

I was thinking about this just this morning lol. My hair is just skimming waist when it is wet, and a bit longer than BSL when dry. I feel like my hair is still just too short, even though I get told at work that my hair is so long. I just don't see it :shrug:

[Sasha_S]

Hehee, there's not much I can do bar look at pictures of people with shaved heads! ;D
x

[Heidi_234]

I try to lift my hair up, about 3" higher and say to myself "this is where I was half a year ago", it does look like a big difference that way. Hair grows so slowly you get used to the length faster than it changed. I also try to let my hair down and feel it brushing against my arms. Some locks tickle below my elbow and it give it a somewhat 'long' feeling. But I still don't feel like a longhair, even though I know there are so many people how'd wish to have my length. :rolleyes:

[SimplyViki]

I just try and celebrate each new length that comes along, or any new little thing that happens that reminds me of my length. Like the other day, I noticed that my ends brushed the very tippy top of my elbow, even though I was wearing it in a high ponytail, and I was like "Woohoo! milestone!!". And recently I've been having to stand on tip-toe to see my ends in the bathroom mirror (I have one that's above the counter, it ends pretty high compared to most, so that kinda helps, I guess). And I love to tilt my hair back and admire the length in the mirror.
I just think of it as long, I guess. Not super long, just long. I don't know if I'll ever think of it as super long, LOL.

[Spike]

Well, I'm growing out from pixie again, and my camera has been my buddy this time 'round.

I take a length photo at the beginning of each month, so comparing the December '08 picture with the May '09 shot lets me SEE how far I've come from the beginning.

Each time I manage a hairstyle--pony, french twist, french braid, mini bun--I snap a shot. Celebrating every step.

Gotta remember, I can't really see all my hair the way others can. I keep being surprised by how long BSL really is, out there in the world. I'll see someone walking down the street, long hair blowing in the breeze, and I'll sigh with envy and think, "My hair will never be that long . . ." until I realize that this person is BSL. Or maybe waist. It just looks longer because it's not on my head, and I can see it all from a distance.

[tooqute2nv]

Maybe this is sorta of cynical or down-hearted, but sometimes remembering how lucky you are in the world can actually help you feel better, as arrogant as that maybe sounds. Like, what about people with cancer, or maybe you'll one day have cancer and have to let go of that security blanket (ur hair ;)), and shave it ALL OFF.
Or people that just can't grow their hair long, or like me, I'm constantly envious, of everyone here that has thick hair, but I remind myself that people just randomly come up to me and play with my hair, because THEY think it is beautiful. :cheese:

You could always just "hack" some of your hair off, and THEN you'll appreciate what you had. lol Nothing like losing something you care about to make you appreciate it more! :blossom: As an extra bonus you could give the hair you cut off to Lock for Love too! :D

[Ella Menneau P.]

I think I've considered my hair long since BSL. I love how it feels when it's down against my back when I wear a bathing suit! But I want it really long, like TB or classic!

[LaurelSpring]

This post sounds just like me. I am nearing waist and it still feels so short. I worry that I will be terminal before TB. Someone mentioned how long it was the other day and I thought wow it feels so short to me. I absolutely love how it feels on my back now and especially just after I wash it when I can feel it all the way down almost to my bottom. I dont know what the answer is. I keep wondering when it will actually "feel" long. When I will acutally feel like an official longhair. I dont feel like it is drop dead turning heads long yet. I want to let my hair down and think wow that is impressive. Vanity .... :eyebrows:

[Nightshade]

I love the idea of celebrating milestones as you go :) I did quite the happy dance when I could manage my first real bun (for lack of skill not lack of length), and than an epic happy dance when I had enough length to manage a Figure 8 bun.

Another thing is to cherish the styles you can do at shorter lengths, as you can't do them when your hair is much longer. I LOVE the look of a peacock twist, and there's no way in hell I can do one :rolleyes:

[GoddesJourney]

It very common around here I noticed, many people who grow their hair out feel like their hair currently is short, even if it's already longer than most people's hair out there. I have it too, my hair hangs around waist and some locks brush hip length, but it feels so darn short! It is even worse when you look at a person and envy their long hair, and your own hair is actually much longer!
It's kind of understandable - those who grow it to terminal never feel like their hair is long enough. Those who had a goal in mind and have yet reached it feel like they need most inches to feel like longhairs. Sometimes those who reach their goals feel like it's not as long as they thought, and so they set a new goal and start feeling like their hair is not long enough yet again.
Is there anything we can do to feel like we have long hair, right here, right now? It's a shame to go on this years long journey and not enjoy it as much just because of crooked perceptions.
How can one convince himself to feel like a longhair already?

This is an excellent thread. I've seen this with guys at the gym. They have a goal to improve their appearance in some way but are not satisfied when they reach it. This is usually because they see the other guys at the gym who are thicker and leaner and it makes them look weak and soft by comparison. The problem is that this brings them to a level that is ridiculous (difficult to maintain and beyond the value of it's use). It's a psychological issue if you ask me.

People who are competitive or insecure tend to have this problem because they are constantly sizing themselves up against everyone else. I'm not saying that competitive and insecure are the same thing, that's why I mentioned both. What I am saying is that people need to learn to eventually be satisfied. Personally, I think the gigantic dude at the gym and the girl with the "larger than life" breast implants have taken it from attractive to obscene. Worse, they don't know it.

I'm personally not competitive in nature nor insecure, for the most part. I never liked competitive team sports much because I didn't want to let anyone down. A friendly game is cool because no one cares who wins and who loses, we just want to play and have fun. One person sports are great for me because I can just enjoy the journey.

Once I reach a length somewhere between waist and hip, I'm happy. There is room for improvement in other ways, like overall health and thickness. Anyway, I'm very active and long hair (especially really long hair) just isn't practical. I'm only finally getting to grow it past the usual APL/BSL because I don't train hard like I used to. I can't see myself with anything more that maybe TBL just because it would really get in the way. I trained with a girl that had hair this length and it was a lot of effort for her. Anyway, that's my opinion.

[GoddesJourney]

I love the idea of celebrating milestones as you go :) I did quite the happy dance when I could manage my first real bun (for lack of skill not lack of length), and than an epic happy dance when I had enough length to manage a Figure 8 bun.

Another thing is to cherish the styles you can do at shorter lengths, as you can't do them when your hair is much longer. I LOVE the look of a peacock twist, and there's no way in hell I can do one :rolleyes:

What's a peacock twist? Do you have a picture or a link to a tutorial?

[Nightshade]

What's a peacock twist? Do you have a picture or a link to a tutorial?

Here you are!

http://www.ficcare.com/images/videos/vid_peacock.jpg

Link to tutorial (http://www.ficcare.com/videos.aspx)

[GeoJ]

Well, if someone is having a problem maybe viewing progress pictures could help, to show past lengths and growth that has occurred.

:)

[GeoJ]

Here you are!

http://www.ficcare.com/images/videos/vid_peacock.jpg

Link to tutorial (http://www.ficcare.com/videos.aspx)

Yep, I tried that once and I could not get it work with my long hair either. It looks nice though. :)

[Chromis]

I just don't think about it! We put far too many qualifiers on life as is. It's hair! :afro:

[enfys]

I like the gym analogy, GoddesJourney. It's quite true.

Personally, I like to put my head back and pretend, and at least it's long enough to pretend it's long.

Hair anorexia is just a part of this since it's what we want, and what we want now, and work so hard for and don't get instantly. It's kind of not healthy really.

[EdG]

It very common around here I noticed, many people who grow their hair out feel like their hair currently is short, even if it's already longer than most people's hair out there. I have it too, my hair hangs around waist and some locks brush hip length, but it feels so darn short! Take a break from the board and go out into the real world. This board can give an extreme impression of the meaning of long hair. :)
Ed

[JamieLeigh]

Hang out with short-haired people. (I have no choice...besides my two daughters, everyone else top-side has shoulder-length or shorter hair. I feel long by default, lol.)

But be prepared to fend off waves of assault: "You should cut it." "You'd look so cute with this hairstyle which is equally as short as mine." "Why don't you donate?" ;)

[UrsaMama]

I think this is the same mentality that ultimately leads to things like anorexia and bulimia, though of course not as destructive. Just five more pounds, just five more inches. Excess in never a good thing. Balance in all things. :meditate:

[Heidi_234]

I think this is the same mentality that ultimately leads to things like anorexia and bulimia, though of course not as destructive. Just five more pounds, just five more inches. Excess in never a good thing. Balance in all things. :meditate:
When I wrote the original post, I tried so hard to exclude the hairorexia term. It does sound awful lot like it (some even have hairsparation pics!), but beside bothering you and keeping you in some sort of state of disatisfaction, it's not as nearly as harmful. What's going to happen? You treat your hair too well or grow it too long? :laugh:

[Aditi]

Good thread sounds exactly like me, first when i joined LHC i thought of keeping BSL as my goal length when i reached their i got the greed to reach waist now that i am currently at waist i am again having the greed to reach TBL. GREED is such a bad thing :gabigrin: but i know that once i reach TB i would not be able to manage length longer than that so there will be no goals after that. HOPEFULLY :pray:.

[magpielaura]

Long hair happens so slowly you get used to it as it grows. Style or body part milestone can remaind you that it is longer than before, but as there is never going to be a sudden change it can feel like there is no change.

I have a solution....Photograph and measure your hair. Then wear your hair in a bun/braid all the time, only taking down to comb/wash. Do not look in a mirror with it down! Immediatly re-bun/braid. Never measure! Wait a year or 2, then compare your hair to your before photo. WOW! OMG my hair is long:cheese:

I'm not saying I could manage to not look at it for a whole year!:) (no way!) But I think those who practice benign neglect and forget about it can have a really pleasant suprise when they "remember" their hair again.

[Flynn]

Does having other people tell you, "wow, your hair is so long!" do anything for any of you?

... not that I can really talk. I just got a trim, and it feels like BSL, when I know it's actually at waist, give or take half a rib.

[Arctic]

This mentality got me too when I joined and it was making me unhappy with my hair, so I decided it I had to change the way I think and behave.

I have sometimes taken longer breaks from here and as lovely place as this is, they have made me a lot of good. I have decided to practise "love your hair as it is" thinking and it's working. "As it is" including the length. I did have a goal length when I joined (and it got longer and longer) but I deleted it from my profile (and from my thoughts) when I noticed it was keeping me from being happy with my hair now. I did measure monthly, but have quit that after I found out what my growth rate was. I do take length photos (once a month or so) but really they are not that accurate either, much depends on your posture and the way your head is, also how your waves (or curls for curlies) are, so I don't put much weight on them.

I try to make sure I enjoy my hair every day, appreciate it every day just the way it is. I learn new updos and braids, try new hair treatments.... have fun :)

It really took a conscious efforts for me to get over my length unhappiness, but it's really paying off as I have never been so pleased with my hair as I am now.

[Arctic]

Take a break from the board and go out into the real world. This board can give an extreme impression of the meaning of long hair. :)
Ed

I agree! Well said!

[Deimos]

The other day I had my hair loose because I was under the impression it was getting pretty long. That day I saw 5 people with butt-length hair...Later on I realized, that on the other hand I saw countless people with shorter hair :-)
Sometimes we see the world through a warped mirror so to speak, only seeing what we have not.

[LaurelSpring]

But be prepared to fend off waves of assault: "You should cut it." "You'd look so cute with this hairstyle which is equally as short as mine." "Why don't you donate?" ;)

This is so true. I have a friend who is always emailing me links to pictures of cute shags.

[Madame J]

So I also never noticed my hair getting long when I grew it back in college, but one day I was in the shower and parted it into two ponytails that I pulled forward over my shoulders, and I saw I could completely cover my boobs with my long hair just like the old Herbal Essences commercials (like in the 70s or something -- I saw them on a retro network) that I used to envy. That was a cool milestone.

Now, with shorter hair, I'm trying to measure my progress by monthly pictures, as well as attempting certain updos each week and seeing how much more of my hair I can get into them. I think my eventual goal is the lemniscate bun that looks so cool on Hypnotica.

[RavennaNight]

I am at waist and it feels short. Great thread.