Mommy hair?

[Heavenly Locks]

This is in no way meant to offend mothers in any way...it's just something that I have always found sad. :o

Why, do some women, feel like they can't have long hair AND a baby? They get these chin length (or shorter) cuts and I've heard time and again "oh, I cut all my hair after the baby...it was just too much work". (I thought short hair was harder? :confused:)

I will NOT do such a thing. I don't see having long hair as hard work. It is something for me and I want to give myself time to care for it...which isn't really much? If it gets in the way, I will pin/stick/fork it up which takes about 3 seconds.

Is it selfish of me to think that I don't want to give up my hair, just for a baby? It's mine! :o I'd rather keep it up all the time and still have it, then try to grow it back when I am older. :shrug:

[ravenreed]

I wasn't aware I was supposed to cut mine when I had babies. I kept mine for a long time after too.

[Arctic]

Many women have huge sheds after the birth, and that can leave hair looking very thin. Also many people just are not that handy with their hair, and can't make updos or braids. Oh, and for me short hair was not lot of work at all, either.

[Heavenly Locks]

Oh I didn't know about the shed thing, Arctic. That makes sense for why some women might want to cut. :)

[Chrissy]

I just think it's a preference thing.

[RavennaNight]

Yeah, I know a girl very recently who had a baby. She used to have the thickest most lovely long BSL blonde hair. She came around with her new baby the other day and it was above her shoulders. I didn't ask. Maybe she liked it. If so, good for her.

[hipmama1970]

I cut mine because I got tired of it getting puked on all the time. My kids were big into spitting up, and I hated the smell of urp in my hair every day until I could shower, and then it was usually only a short time before it happened again.

Once everyone quit yakking in my hair, I let it grow again :)

[GlassEyes]

It's also an upkeep thing.

Children can be energy-sucking little things. I don't mean that in a bad way, but it's just the way they (usually) are. Maintaining long hair and often (llike most women seem to) styling it while you're trying to focus on the child often seems like a pain to most of the ones who DO cut. Then there's the whole 'mess' factor, what with spit up and diaper changing. A lot probably can't be bothered to bun it, and feel that hair, along with other things, should play second string to the child.

Then there is also the stigma of 'mom hair' that's supposed to be short or something, and post-partum sheds. There's a lot of different reasons. XD You don't necessarily have to give up your hair to HAVE kids (now THAT'D be an awesome version of birth control), but a lot of people probably feel that raising a kid is more important that growing their hair.

[BlndeInDisguise]

I actually think that having a baby around might just be good for your hair. For one thing, you'd keep it up all the time to avoid getting it puked on and for keeping it out of the way when you're changing diapers and other stuff like that.

Also, you probably don't have time to wash it quite as often. Nothing wrong with some benign neglect. ;)

[Carolyn]

I knew I was "supposed" to cut it :D but then I've never done what I'm supposed to do :p I kept mine in the shoulder blade to lower bra strap range. It was up in a clip or a ponytail when I didn't want to deal with it. I didn't find that hard at all. I remember leaning over the kitchen sink a few times and rinsing baby puke out of my ponytail. Dealing with short hair AND dealing with a baby would have been to much for me. I've gotten the impression from some women that they felt they needed to be the all sacrificing mom and cut their hair because they thought it would give them more time for the baby. I guess I didn't want to lose "me" in being a mommy. I think it's sad when new moms feel pressured to cut their hair off when they really don't want to.

[Dreams_in_Pink]

My mom always says how she had the longest hair of her lifetime after she had me.

She said she just put all her hair into two braids and it went that way till next wash. She obviously didn't have time to go to the salon to have a fresh new haircut lol :D

[Bluebell]

I did cut my hair because of the major postpartumshedding I had. I had 2 children in 1,5 years so twice the shedding. There wasn't much left to do with my sorry sad bit of hair. I hated to lose the long hair, I started growing as soon as the new hair blended in.

[Carina]

I have given birth to five kids in 10 years.You can only imagine how much shedding I've done:shiver:.But I do prefer long hair as a mum.My short hair took forever to look nice in the morning.Yay for long hair.But I was tempted to cut it when my shedding was going on.

[Firefly]

Dealing with short hair AND dealing with a baby would have been to much for me.

ITA with this (and the rest of what you said, Carolyn!) Short hair would have been WAY more work. And yeah, after a brief stint as The Human Napkin, I realized clipping it up was the way to go. :D

[Bluebell]

Wow Carina! 5 children so 5 times the shedding!

[Elbereth]

I don't have children, but if I did, I don't think I would cut. It is certainly common- around here it seems like women cut their long hair after marrying or at latest when they have their first child. :confused: It's the norm.

If I wanted an easy short style, it would have to be super short. I can easily picture a baby gripping a bob length hair (not to mention that length looks horrible on me).
As for the puking and other nasties...I would very likely wear my hair as I wear it now most of the time: in a bun and protected with a headcovering.

[Carina]

Wow Carina! 5 children so 5 times the shedding!

I know:eek:.I still freak out when I think about it.My hair is still thin and that is something that makes me so sad.My youngest son will be three years old in august.No more kids for me:run::I'm done.I hope that my hair will thicken up soon.

[Bluebell]

@ Carina, Went to check your photo's :) Your hair on your profile photo is so pretty! Wonderful!

[MsBubbles]

My main reason for chopping my all-natural BSL hair post-partum was that I had not found a group such as LHC back then. Then again, internet wasn't really used at that time.

Other reason was I did not know how to put my hair up and hated how I looked with it in a ponytail, and my son's slobbery little hands got all tangled up in my hair several times a day. So I got a perm :o. Shortly after that I got an anchorwoman helmet-hair special and stayed that way for about 12 years.

[euphrasyne]

My cuts were not related to my children.
However, I affirm all the posts the posts about shedding and upkeep. It is a huge pain. And the baby WILL grab your hair. Even if it is back in a bun, she will grasp onto any stray frizz and just pull until it all comes down and is wrapped around her. After about the 4th time when you are seeing stars, you do start to imagine what shorter hair might be like.

cheryl

[Carina]

@ Carina, Went to check your photo's :) Your hair on your profile photo is so pretty! Wonderful!

Thank you so very much.I feel that I have very thin hair at the moment.I have tried to not freak out about every hair that I shed now during spring.But it is oh so hard.I wanted to post my circumference once but didn't.

[Kangaroo]

well ,i think that nobody have to give up long hair coz of a baby. there is no reason i think. i could imagine that short hair is more time-consuming than long hair.
after i gave the birth of my daughter..i never think about cutting my hair!

so in my opinion its not normal to cut hair coz you have a baby :-)

[Xandergrammy]

I got my hair cut when my son was about a year old because he liked to twist his fingers in it and then yank! I ended up going from tailbone to shoulder length, then wore a very short cut for many years. I finally "saw the light" when I was 40 and started growing my hair back. My longest-it's-ever-been hair survived my grandson's babyhood because I've learned to wear my hair either up or in braids. Duh... I wish I'd thought of that in my 20's. :gabigrin:

[Xandergrammy]

ITA with this (and the rest of what you said, Carolyn!) Short hair would have been WAY more work. And yeah, after a brief stint as The Human Napkin, I realized clipping it up was the way to go. :D


:rollin: @ "The Human Napkin". Such a great descriptive title!

[Forever_Sophie]

I think I can understand (not that I put much thought into it before now...) Like someone said, I've read/heard about many women who experience major shedding while pregnant, and as for time - I'd have to blow dry shorter hair, something I'm quite lazy to do LOL BUT, then I'd be okay w/ leaving it alone. I think, for me, it would be really inconvenient to be caring for an infant w/ long, wet hair (speaking from experience - not fun playing w/ my bunny w/ long wet hair falling all over the place :p ).

This morning I attempted braiding 3x (stupid V!), sometimes it takes probably over 10 tries to get it up perfectly in certain clips....Soccer mom cuts make sense to me.

[Anje]

I cut mine because I got tired of it getting puked on all the time. My kids were big into spitting up, and I hated the smell of urp in my hair every day until I could shower, and then it was usually only a short time before it happened again.

Once everyone quit yakking in my hair, I let it grow again :)

Ah, I hadn't thought of the spit up. I always figured that people cut their hair because they don't know how to put it up, or don't want to wear it up 24/7 until the baby is sleeping through the night and/or isn't getting long hairs caught in those damp little baby fists. Baby puke in hair would not be fun -- again, it might mean hair up 24/7 until the kid isn't demanding attention every hour or so all night long.

[akka naeda]

I didn't cut my hair when my daughter was born. It was about BSL and I was growing it out after having shaved my head. It never occured to me that I might want to cut it again just because I had a baby. In fact if anyone had suggested it to me I would have laughed at them - my reasoning was there are plaits, and clips, and barrettes and so on for keeping the hair away from little hands.:)

Oh, and it was fairly high maintenance - I had a purple streak bleached in at the front, and the underlayer at the back was green. I needed to redo the coloured bits every week, which I did myself religiously for 2-3 years despite being a single parent.

[spidermom]

I had short hair with babies. It was my choice. When my son was born I had BSL length hair and found one of them wound so tightly around one of his little thighs that it very nearly cut him. Plus getting up at night with a screaming sick baby who had vomited in his crib and immediately grabbed onto my hair was too icky. Babies were enough work for me, I didn't need to factor long hair care into the equation.

ETA: Braids and putting it up wouldn't have helped much. My hair can squiggle out of anything. Plus at 2:00 AM with a vomiting baby, I really didn't have time to stop by the mirror and put my hair securely back before picking him/her up.

[Unofficial_Rose]

Caution: may contain ranting

I distinctly remember in a booklet given to be by the NHS for new mothers, a bit that said that you should cut your hair off, because you're a mum now, so you won't have time for long hair. (This was 14 years ago, admittedly).

My hair was only shoulder-length at the time, but I have to admit I read it as "You're not a woman anymore, you're a mum. So forget about looking sexy/attractive/whatever and explore the Madonna aspects of the Madonna/Wh*re complex."

B*llocks, is what I said to that! :p

[rags]

I cut my below BSL hair the month before I had my baby. We lived in a trailer with no air conditioning, and that summer set heat records which are still standing today. (She's 21!) I had it cut short. I immediately regretted it, as I could no longer get it off of my neck! So I began growing it out again right away. But I must admit, it was easier having it very short while she was in the puke-every-time-you-pick-her-up stage.

[JamieLeigh]

I have no idea why some women feel they can't handle hair and a baby at the same time. I've had 5 children, and maintained my hair between waist and tailbone length all the way through it. And I DIDN'T have the benefit of knowing that hairsticks existed. I just threw my hair up in ponytails or scrunchie buns. I've also always been able to braid quickly so that wasn't a problem either. Scrunchies are good for sleeping in when you're long-haired and have to get up for night feedings. :)

Sometimes hair just isn't a big deal, compared to the stresses of motherhood - and maybe they feel a bit overwhelmed and just want to do something to take back a little control in their lives? I don't know. :confused:

[Firefly]

:rollin: @ "The Human Napkin". Such a great descriptive title!

Thanks! It is fitting, isn't it! For a while when they were toddlers, peanut butter was practically an accessory. ;)

The middle of the night thing was never an issue for me. I always kept a hair elastic on my wrist, and it was nothing to pull my hair back into a messy bun (no mirror required) before I put the baby to breast. But then I didn't have hair slippage issues... I can see where that would be a problem.

[Euphony]

I vaguely remember cutting my hair "off" sometime between when my son was 3 to 6 months (I don't remember when, it was almost 18 years ago). But my cutting it "off" it was still considered long by real world standards. I went from bsl to apl. My hair is too thick to secure in a bun until waist length and unfortunately due to my clueless hair care I had false terminal at bsl until I found LHC.

I braided my hair all the time, but little hands yanking on the braid gets annoying after a while.

[Kirin]

There's nothing wrong with the decision to cut off hair after, or just before having a baby. I am one who did so. To a pixie in fact, from BSL hair after each of my girls were born.

This was no instant decision, but the decision was made when my first was around three months old. Tender in front of ear hair pulled is NOT fun..... and a colic baby that never stopped crying made for sleepless, shower-less, comb-less days (bleeding into each other). Being Zombi-fied, near drooling exhausted and having to pull myself together for work did not combine well with taking care of the length of my hair.

A mother cutting off her hair is really for sanity, not vanity. Some do not have problems with long hair and babies, and some of us do. Frankly, the reason is no two mothering circumstances and no two babies are the same.

[Jessica Trapp]

Caution: may contain ranting

I distinctly remember in a booklet given to be by the NHS for new mothers, a bit that said that you should cut your hair off, because you're a mum now, so you won't have time for long hair. (This was 14 years ago, admittedly).




Oh, that would have thrown me into a rant!

If a woman wishes to cut her hair after a baby, no problem, but women have been dealing with having long hair and babies at the same time for THOUSANDS of years. I think we're competent enough to handle both.

Jes

[Rohele]

I didn't go through the whole thread, but I'll give my answer. (And no offense taken at the question BTW).

I did cut BSL length hair short when I had my first baby. I can't speak for all moms of course, but in my case it had less to do with wanting easy to take care of hair, and more to do with emotions.

After you have a baby, you are a whole pile of hormones, and if someone is prone to cutting their hair when they are emotional (I am) this is a prime time for it to happen. You're tired, you're overwhealmed, and you're feeling fat and ugly too boot. Your pre-pregnancy clothes don't fit and you just don't feel like yourself. You've probably stopped colouring your hair if you were doing that prior as well, so you've got about 4 inches of roots too. All of a sudden your life revolves around someone else, and there is no time for yourself. Sooo....

You go to the salon, where someone takes care of YOU for a couple of hours. They make you look pretty, at least for a while, and you emerge with your new mom hair.

In my case it was immediately regretted. I managed to resist the urge to cut after #2, because I knew what was in store for me after having my baby.

[ratgirldjh]

Wow - I actually didn't know there was such a thing as 'mommy' hair being short...

Maybe I live around too many hippies - but most of the women I have been close to had long hair and didn't cut it and just braided it or bunned it while breastfeeding and tending to the kids...

Actually, come to think of it, I had the shortest hair of all my mommy friends - and I didn't have kids!

[whiteisle]

With my first two pregnancies I actually went to get the big chop when I was around 7-8 months preggers because I was feeling fat, unattractive and plain miserable. I thought the new cuts lifted me a bit and if nothing else, it lifted my spirits. But by the time the babe got here I was majorly regretting it.

This time, my 3rd and last, I have resisted the hormonal urge to chop and I'm so looking forward to being able to just throw my hair up in a clip or pony and go on with my day instead of worrying about my "style" not being fixed each morning. Talk about added stress! And like a pp mentioned, it would be a great time for benign neglect. With a 5 yo, 3 yo and new babe in the house I despartly need low maintainence and short hair (at least for me) definitely doesn't fit that job description! ;)

[creativehoney]

Having long hair and a baby, or babies is the perfect excuse to get a little time to yourself! Because mommy time if often in short supply. I tell my husband "well I have to do my hair, can you watch the babies?" and while I'm in there I can catch a face mask maybe paint my nails, you know all the stuff you can't do around ur little ones.
To tell you the truth if I didn't have long hair I would probably never get anytime to myself.
So grow your hair long mommies, its a perfect ploy for a little pampering and "time out."

[Raederle]

I didn't cut mine after either of my children, though one of my friends did. For her it was a conscious decision to take charge of something she could control, since she felt that her newborn was calling all the shots. Someone else wanted to kind of re-invent herself as something other than "the mommy".

[GlennaGirl]

I think after having a baby we "lose ourselves" a little and we want some sort of big, drastic change but don't know how to go about it. The easiest thing to drastically change is hair.

[heidihug]

Having long hair and a baby, or babies is the perfect excuse to get a little time to yourself!

creativehoney, I wish I had been able to do that. When both our kids were born, my DH was working 60 to 80 hour weeks of shift work. If he wasn't working, he was sleeping. If he wasn't sleeping, he was eating or driving to work. Gah. He had so little time for anything else that we both insisted that he spend any spare minutes playing with the boys and being their daddy. My needs were absolutely not on the radar.

That's why I had shoulder-length hair back in the day. Long enough to put up in a scrunchie to keep it away from little hands and baby puke, short enough that washing and detangling and such was not an issue. I don't regret having shorter hair then. I knew that I would have time for myself later, when the kids were a bit more self-sufficient and DH was not a slave to his job.

[creativehoney]

creativehoney, I wish I had been able to do that. When both our kids were born, my DH was working 60 to 80 hour weeks of shift work. If he wasn't working, he was sleeping. If he wasn't sleeping, he was eating or driving to work. Gah. He had so little time for anything else that we both insisted that he spend any spare minutes playing with the boys and being their daddy. My needs were absolutely not on the radar.

That's why I had shoulder-length hair back in the day. Long enough to put up in a scrunchie to keep it away from little hands and baby puke, short enough that washing and detangling and such was not an issue. I don't regret having shorter hair then. I knew that I would have time for myself later, when the kids were a bit more self-sufficient and DH was not a slave to his job.



Well my other post was asking for help with scrunchie damage. Haha go figure.
I have a 2 (turns 3 this month) year old and a 11/2 year old. For the last 3 years I only wore a scrunchie in my hair ALL the time day and night.on wet and dry hair.
My husband was working 12 hour days and I stayed at home with the kids and I didn't have time to barely use the bathroom.
My husband just got laid off so he's been at home a lot more so I've been taking advantage of it.
And this is how I keep my sanity. When I need a break I go "fix" my hair.
Hee hee
I've been neglecting myself for a long time so I'm making up for lost time.
But he is planning on joining the service so when that happens ill have to reserve my mommy time when the kids are napping or something. (ya right, ill prob be doing laundry or dishes)
Haha

[GeoJ]

I've kept my hair at hip length or longer for at least 12 years now, and had a baby a few years ago. Keeping it up in a bun was quick and kept it out of the way, and a scarf on top of that kept unwanted substances off of it.

I did have a postpartum shed, but I think my hair was thick enough to start with that it was not a problem.

Even now I have situations where I do not have time to take care of things like my hair. Many mornings I don't even comb, just wake up, put my hair in a 10-second bun, and go. (My hair usually looks fine when I do that).

With my waviness, the only "quick 'n easy" choices for short hair would be a buzz cut or hiding it under a scarf. :)

[Naava]

I didn't feel like I would have needed to cut my hair after I had my baby. For me nothing could be easier that to just put my hair up and leave it there. I really have no idea why so many women cut their hair after having a child.

[hockeygirl256]

Some people just have no idea how to care for longer hair. My mom always had and still has short hair. When I was 6 I wanted to grow my hair out and she had to buy a book because she had no idea what to do! Not even kidding. She learned how to do a ponytail from "Braids and Bows" and eventually how to french braid. She wasn't an expert but God bless her for trying.

[Kirin]

Having long hair and a baby, or babies is the perfect excuse to get a little time to yourself! Because mommy time if often in short supply. I tell my husband "well I have to do my hair, can you watch the babies?" and while I'm in there I can catch a face mask maybe paint my nails, you know all the stuff you can't do around ur little ones.
To tell you the truth if I didn't have long hair I would probably never get anytime to myself.
So grow your hair long mommies, its a perfect ploy for a little pampering and "time out."

Your of the fortunate few, I have to tell you. If I had an extra 15 minutes to an hour, I would spend it sleeping, not concerning for my hair! Some of us are not fortunate enough to have someone handy to watch the babies to take time for ourselves. Mine aren't even babies anymore and time for that stuff is in short supply.

Now, I'm not saying new mothers should cut their hair, good heavens no! Just that, those that do aren't "crazy" or "lazy" or looking to boost our vanity ..... just our sanity :)

[spidermom]

I guess a lot of people aren't reading the other replies and giving consideration to what is being said. I resent the implication that mothers who cut their hair aren't competent in some way.

[Forever_Sophie]

I guess a lot of people aren't reading the other replies and giving consideration to what is being said. I resent the implication that mothers who cut their hair aren't competent in some way.

I was thinking the same thing - and I'm not even a mom.

[enfys]

Since I've never had short hair I don't think it would make sense if I had kids to cuyt it. I'd have to learn another whole new skill. Maybe it's easier to cut if you know what you're in for?

I can see how shedding could change that view though, if it was extreme.

Also, I suppose the heaps of growt you get when you're pregnant could mean that any cut seems more extreme. Like, if you trim once a year and grow half an inch usually that's a 6" trim, but if baby hormones take you to an inch a month it's 12", no?

I don't have kids so this is based on what I've read!

[GlennaGirl]

I actually think that having a baby around might just be good for your hair. For one thing, you'd keep it up all the time to avoid getting it puked on and for keeping it out of the way when you're changing diapers and other stuff like that.

Also, you probably don't have time to wash it quite as often. Nothing wrong with some benign neglect. ;)

You would be surprised. For almost six years now, I have had the holy hell torn out of my hair. My middle guy ripped and tore and twisted obsessively at my hair from birth no matter how many "no!"s I gave him, putting him down/away from me when he did it, etc. When it was up in a bun it was worse. Much, much worse. Having two or three hairs at a time yanked out of the nape of my neck while ripping roughly out of a scrunchee, hair pins or what-have-you isn't a ton of fun...So putting it up was really no help at all.

By the time I got him to understand he couldn't do that (he has special needs and is delayed), my littlest guy came along. He is almost three and I think he is finally, finally learning the meaning of "no".

Just thought I'd put that in. I'm not saying this is the case with everyone, but...never assume. :)

[GlennaGirl]

I guess a lot of people aren't reading the other replies and giving consideration to what is being said. I resent the implication that mothers who cut their hair aren't competent in some way.

I'm not really seeing this...am I missing something? I've seen some comments (and made some) on hair-pulling; you yourself commented on not having it up when picking up the baby in the middle of the night and he had thrown up, and that your hair would slip out of anything...I've seen comments on PP shedding and wanting to neaten things up after that, a few about emotional cuts and a few about people being told they "should" cut their hair as new moms, but where is the implication that any of this means the moms weren't competent?

These are just comments on why people did cut. Not every new mom cuts simply because it's a coincidence in timing or something like that; like you (and like me a few times, though a few other times it was purely emotional), many cut because it actually is a hassle for various reasons (though not all, as mentioned above).

I think maybe the OP was thinking she'd hear lots of "because that's what you're supposed to do" comments (based on her surprise at an answer or two...sorry, OP, not to put words in your mouth or anything) but instead, there really were other, solid reasons; reasons that were legitimate to each of us. It's okay to cut your hair after you have a baby and you don't have to "prove" you can keep it long if you really don't want to or, as some have said, the baby's throwing up in the hair, pulling the hair out...etc. It's actually not as cut and dried as "women cut their hair after childbirth because they're supposed to," and that's a good thing, isn't it? This has turned out to be a very informative thread in that way, IMO.

[spidermom]

Oh, that would have thrown me into a rant!

If a woman wishes to cut her hair after a baby, no problem, but women have been dealing with having long hair and babies at the same time for THOUSANDS of years. I think we're competent enough to handle both.

Jes

Here ya go, GlennaGirl.

[GlennaGirl]

Here ya go, GlennaGirl.

Well, yes...exactly...she was saying we are competent to do both.

Or are you saying the implication is there from outside sources? (lightbulb going off) Okay, I get it now. So you're not saying anybody here implied incompetence. Again, though...although a lot of people here have said they kept their hair long after the baby, a lot of us likewise said we cut our hair and that it was in fact due to it being a hassle for some reason or other. So those "outside sources" may not necessarily be telling us that we're incompetent...just that they too understand baby-throwup in the hair at 3AM!

Not playing devil's advocate or being argumentative; just saying, though I'm no fan of societal dictates, some may be based on people actually trying to help and not control. I do feel that this "tradition" is based on a certain amount of women making the decision, like we did, to cut after the baby. Naturally that doesn't mean everyone...but a fair amount, I'd say. And again...that's no shame, and it doesn't mean we're incompetent. It just means life really is incredibly grabby and sticky and throw-up-y with a new baby.

Anyway, that's how I see it...hope I'm understanding all this correctly.

[Forever_Sophie]

GlennaGirl, Here are some examples, posted after some members had already explained why they'd felt the need to cut:


I have no idea why some women feel they can't handle hair and a baby at the same time. I've had 5 children, and maintained my hair between waist and tailbone length all the way through it. And I DIDN'T have the benefit of knowing that hairsticks existed. I just threw my hair up in ponytails or scrunchie buns. I've also always been able to braid quickly so that wasn't a problem either. Scrunchies are good for sleeping in when you're long-haired and have to get up for night feedings. :)

Sometimes hair just isn't a big deal, compared to the stresses of motherhood - and maybe they feel a bit overwhelmed and just want to do something to take back a little control in their lives? I don't know. :confused:


I didn't feel like I would have needed to cut my hair after I had my baby. For me nothing could be easier that to just put my hair up and leave it there. I really have no idea why so many women cut their hair after having a child.


Well, yes...exactly...she was saying we are competent to do both.

How I understand that is, we ARE competent to handle long hair + motherhood, therefore if we're cutting our hair, we are incompetent. Incapable of managing both hair & babies.

[Eden Iris]

I actually think that having a baby around might just be good for your hair. For one thing, you'd keep it up all the time to avoid getting it puked on and for keeping it out of the way when you're changing diapers and other stuff like that.

Also, you probably don't have time to wash it quite as often. Nothing wrong with some benign neglect. ;)

That is exactly how I came to be a longhair. How did you know? Oh, yes, two other reasons: both my girls were hair grabbers, and gently removing baby fist from hair is only slightly easier than getting bubble gum out. Also, for the first year I just never found time to get to the salon, and then when nothing horrible happened I discovered that my hair (gasp) did not need professional upkeep.

There is a tacit assumption that moms are supposed to be low-maintenance, no-nonsense, not sexy. I say b@lls to that.

[Kylis]

I cut my hair after I had struggeled with huge shed for months - my hair got sooo thin that it was just sad..... luckily new growth started coming in shortly after that and it was so thick that it looked like I had really short and thick bangs :) So now my daughter is almost two, and I have shoulder lenght hair and I am still very sad about the cut even though it did seem like the only option at that time ...... I really hope, next time I will somehow manage to keep my hair - before I didn't have much information about haircare - I used to blowdry it and use chemicals on it and so on, so that might have made it worse. But, yes, without shedding I would have never cut it, because long hair is so much easier for me and I just love it and can't even tell you how much I miss it.....

[aprilmay]

As a mom to two kids, I can understand the lack of time for personal care. I was never tempted to cut my hair. It has been something that each of my kids has latched onto, literally. They both went through stages where they hated it when I had it pulled back or wore it up. Each of them would cry and tell me, mommy, I want your hair down. My daughter, age 4, also has long hair and she is quite proud of it. I skip washing my hair for lack of time, but I love having it long.

[Themyst]

I had two kids. It actually gave me time to do the all-the-time-bun-thing so my hair would be damage free and long when I decided to start wearing it down again. And lo! and behold! That's precisely what happened!:D

[GlennaGirl]

How I understand that is, we ARE competent to handle long hair + motherhood, therefore if we're cutting our hair, we are incompetent. Incapable of managing both hair & babies.

I see now.

[Fractalsofhair]

I think a lot of women think their hair needs much more work than it does. A lot think they MUST flat iron daily and blowdry and dye and all that fun jazz if they have hair longer than their chin. For that sort of woman, short hair is much more practical(Honestly, no one cares how a mother with a newborn infant, how her hair looks and if it has a little bit of frizz. They care if she's eating enough and nursing her child etc. Even showering is much more lax for new mothers than for other women!). However, having longer hair means you can go longer without haircuts, which might be very useful to a mother. I think if a woman had terminal length hair, she would have issues taking care of it if she was a mother without a very helpful partner. I understand that type of hair often requires special work and such. But, hubby/wifey can always watch the baby for a few hours while the new mother washes up and combs out her hair. My mother had short hair when she had me, but she also did take care of it. My dad had fairly long hair(shoulder length) and he managed to keep his hair just fine, and my parents both spent a lot of time with me. Also the shedding could be a reason. Really short hair is easier to take care of than long hair, but I'm talking a buzz cut, not a mom cut. Guys tend to have shorter hair for that reason. I've never had kids, but there is no reason a woman should have to cut her hair due to being a mother or age. Though sometimes if an older woman does have arthritis etc, it might be easiest to cut her hair if she doesn't live near someone who will help her take care of it.

[spidermom]

I am so over it and sorry about the "I resent" post.

[Rohele]

But, hubby/wifey can always watch the baby for a few hours while the new mother washes up and combs out her hair.

If I had a few hours without baby, as a new mother I would be sleeping, not doing my hair. :)

I agree that no-one really expects a new mother to look beautiful, but that doesn't take in to account the new mother's feelings on the subject. It can be very, very hard to let that part of you go (even if it is just for a while), especially if it was important to the woman to look good before the baby was born. (This I how I felt to a degree, yes I know it is vain :rolleyes: ). Again, I was an emotional cutter, as I mentioned, and trying to get a small portion of my prior life back, at the time.

[DragonLady]

Hmmm.... Four kids here. And yes, I cut. But I think a lot of it was pressure from other people -particularly my ex- to get a "wash and wear" because any time I spent on me was time I wasn't spending on the baby. As if detangling or styling my hair was somehow selfish and inconsiderate or something. I resented it, but was honestly too exhausted all the time to fight about it. It just didn't seem like it was worth making a stand over when there were so many other things that needed done and problems we needed to solve.

[Hannah83]

I did not cut my hair after i had my babies. Both times i kept it up and out of the way. I did not have the time to care for it, and did not pay much attention to it, but i did not cut. I think the main reason is that I have some curls and I look like a muschroom in short hair. :rolleyes: It is less work to just keep it in a ponytail!

[Raederle]

I am so over it and sorry about the "I resent" post.

And I was just going to jump on with you. It seems as though it's the old game of women being so busy criticizing each other. This is a wonderful blue planet, and there's enough room here for women to cut or not cut, as they choose.

[RainDropPixie]

I actually cut mine off to about an inch long (from scalp to end), 2 weeks before I found out I was pregnant. It was the only way to get rid of my fried hair (I have extremely resilient hair so that says a lot, got to love metallic dyes). My hair was top of my shoulders when I had him. I have cut my hair 3 times since then. It was never the mommy hair complex. I am either a compulsive hair dyer or hair cutter. The downside is my hair is even thicker than it was before I had him, so at short length its a pain, but I am looking forward to it being long... I don't have to worry about stringy ends for a long time.

[Flynn]

Mum lost at least half her hair when she had my brothers, so she chopped it all and permed it so it wouldn't look so thin and sickly.

[Dez]

I guess a lot of people aren't reading the other replies and giving consideration to what is being said. I resent the implication that mothers who cut their hair aren't competent in some way.

I got the same feeling a little;) Remember the way you say something especially online can have a different meaning than you meant. For example saying "for me long hair is easier because i just throw it up in a ponytail or bread" sounds different than saying " i have no idea why someone would think short hair is easier, it needs all this care" and a few other things that were said. Don't forget that some women like short hair, or look good with short hair or do find it easier.

I can only speak for myself. But I did cut, all three times. But I cut my hair to look better and feel better. I like taking showers daily and with my hair, braiding it or doing something else with it took more time for me than it took to just throw some gel in and let air dry, and my hair looked cute! 2 of my boys were also born in the summer which is very hot here, so a day without washing hair also left me with greasy scalp. short hair allowed me to shower, dress and have decent hair. The alternative was spending days with only a ponytail in my hair, with frizzies around my face and possibly less shower time. So then if I didn't shower and had to leave the house, i felt gross, fat, frumpy and mommish. It's amazing what just having nice looking hair and being clean can do to your self image. It doesn't matter if someone else expects me to be unwashed and frumpy and sleep deprived because i was a new mom. No reason that i had to actually look that way.

However if growing my hair was a priority back then like it is to me now and is to most of the women here. I would have just dealt with it and figured it out. But it's not that important to everyone.

[Islandgrrl]

I kept my hair long after my daughter, but chopped after my son. I just needed a change and didn't know what to do with my hair at that point. Of course, I pretty quickly regretted it when I discovered what a pain in the *&& having short hair was.

And then I grew it again.

[kmoc123]

Mine was to my waist until just before my son was born and I cut it really short...then I looked like MY mother...sorry, but I think short hair makes you look matronly no matter what age. My son is 11 and my hair is back to my waist and will not be cut off again.

[Elphie]

I cut my hair short after the birth of my second son. He had some medical needs, and running out with a wet head at strange hours during winter wasn't in the cards for me.
I also wanted a change at the time. It made me happy, I didn't regret it and it was easy to care for. Now I want a change again and I'd like to have it long. *shrugs*

[spidermom]

Mine was to my waist until just before my son was born and I cut it really short...then I looked like MY mother...sorry, but I think short hair makes you look matronly no matter what age. My son is 11 and my hair is back to my waist and will not be cut off again.

http://i25.photobucket.com/albums/c79/spidermom/SHORT.jpg
There's a sweeping generalization for you. I've been told that I look about 12 in this picture. This was the haircut for baby #2. I was 33/34. Matronly? (P.S. - I wasn't smiling, I was saying "Wait - I'm not ready."

[Elphie]

http://s21.photobucket.com/albums/b300/cutter_106/th_hairshort.jpg

This was my hair after my second child was born. I don't feel I look matronly either.

[chelssix]

For one thing, babies grab. If you don't want to have to have a 24/7 updo, a cut might help.

[velvetcat]

it's not everyone, but I have seen a bit of a mentality with post wedding/post baby hair that some women feel that they need to be "more mature" and that means cutting the hair off.

Now I know that isn't true for everyone, not nearly, but I have heard it from a few ladies when they got a new cut that was pretty short.
Case in point, a co-worker of mine just got married 2 months ago and cut her approx BSL hair into a pixie this last week. I asked what prompted the cut (and since she looked identical to all my other co-workers, I'm not kidding) and she said something to the nature that she just wanted to be more grown up and not focused on hair.

Different strokes for different folks

[Starla Dear]

I'm not a mom, and I'm not being vain when I say this and I mean NO offense at all, but...

Pregnancy seems terrifying!

Shedding hair? Why does your hair fall out after having a child? I thought that was what part of the reason why prenatal vitamens exist, to keep teeth and whatnot from falling out.

Not to mention the weight gain. I am just under 5'5 and weigh 125 pounds and am a 38DD (naturally). 10, 20, I heard even up to SEVENTY pounds would NOT look good on me. Do you really never get your pre baby body back? How long does it take to lose weight?

Idk...it seems like it's easy to "lose" yourself after having a baby. I won't let that happen but it's scary to think about.

[LHGypsyRose]

I never had a hard time caring for my hair when my children were babies, so I didn't get it cut because of them.

I did however feel that I wanted a change, mostly due to self esteem issues, after my little girl was born. But scince the beautician refused to cut my thigh length hair to midback, I only got it cut to tailbone thank God.:D

[Magdalene]

Has there been a survey done on postpartum shedding? 'Cuz I'm starting to panic here- does everyone lose a ton of hair?

[LHGypsyRose]

I'm not a mom, and I'm not being vain when I say this and I mean NO offense at all, but...

Pregnancy seems terrifying!

Shedding hair? Why does your hair fall out after having a child? I thought that was what part of the reason why prenatal vitamens exist, to keep teeth and whatnot from falling out.

Not to mention the weight gain. I am just under 5'5 and weigh 125 pounds and am a 38DD (naturally). 10, 20, I heard even up to SEVENTY pounds would NOT look good on me. Do you really never get your pre baby body back? How long does it take to lose weight?

Idk...it seems like it's easy to "lose" yourself after having a baby.

I wouldn't say that you "lose" yourself, but yes there are definite changes in your body. After having my 1st I walked out of the hospital in my pre-pregnancy clothing. After the 2nd..it took atleast a year, but I eventually fit back into my little shorts.:D After my 3rd....well...Im still working on that one,lol, but I'm getting older also.

As far as shedding..I shed every fall and spring and I shed ALOT after having my children and well..look at my hair. Of course not everyone is the same.

[Rosamunde]

I'm wondering whether part of what prompts some new moms to get a shorter style might be wanting to be pampered a bit at the salon - I imagine motherhood must be so draining, taking care of someone else all the time, and it must feel nice to have an excuse to have a little time for yourself and have someone else take care of you for a change...

[Firefly]

Has there been a survey done on postpartum shedding? 'Cuz I'm starting to panic here- does everyone lose a ton of hair?

Personally, I didn't notice any increased shedding at all.

[Dez]

I think that most postpartum shedding has alot to do that most women get an increase in their hair during pregnancy. My hair is already thick and i don't know if it was pregnancy hormones or the prenatal vitamins but my hair was super thick. I shed a little after pregnancy and my hair went back to it's normal thickness. So I imagine that the shedding is of the increased hair growth during pregnancy. My mom used to get nice strong nails during pregnancy in addition to increased hair. My mom has very thin hair so she loved it. LOL

And spidermom you look very young in that picture! Both of you look very pretty with your short hair, not matronly!

[Jessica Trapp]

I guess a lot of people aren't reading the other replies and giving consideration to what is being said. I resent the implication that mothers who cut their hair aren't competent in some way.


Oh, goodness! I didn't mean any sort of implication like that AT ALL. It didn't even cross my mind that anyone would take what I said that way. :doh: So very, very sorry.

:cry:

Jes

[Flynn]

Has there been a survey done on postpartum shedding? 'Cuz I'm starting to panic here- does everyone lose a ton of hair?

No, I don't think so, and not everyone loses a tonne of hair every time. Mum got no shed with me, but heaps with my brothers (very large twins -- like, completely normal, full-term single baby sized, and she's a very small lady. Lot of physical stress there...)

[LadyEliza]

There is no need to cut it of course. But be aware that forks and hairsticks might not be apropriate for a few years, as little ones tend to grab and drag out of the hair. Don't want to put an eye out!

[ilovelonghair]

I don't have children, but if I did, I don't think I would cut. It is certainly common- around here it seems like women cut their long hair after marrying or at latest when they have their first child. :confused: It's the norm


The whole hair cutting after marrying is a mystery for me, why is that?
(I haven't read the whole thread yet, so forgive me if this has been asked before)

About post partum shed: isn't that the hair that hasn't fallen out during pregnancy? People always tell that hair becomes really thick during pregancy because hairs stop falling out, then after birth, the hairs that should have fallen out before, all fall out in once.

[gibsongirl71]

I think it is a lot of different factors. I had almost waist length hair when I had my first. I had a ton of shedding and my hair looked terrible after he was born. So off it came. Also a lot of women are trying to deal with a whole new identity and they think a new look will help. I didn't know who I was after my son was born. Your body is different your whole life is different. I think too, that PPD has a part in this. I had terrible PPD and I think I felt so unhappy and ugly that I thought cutting my hair would make me feel better, it didn't. Now my youngest is 4 and I am more centered and happy (aka medicated). I am enjoying the whole process of letting my hair grow again.

[Kylis]

The whole hair cutting after marrying is a mystery for me, why is that?
(I haven't read the whole thread yet, so forgive me if this has been asked before)

About post partum shed: isn't that the hair that hasn't fallen out during pregnancy? People always tell that hair becomes really thick during pregancy because hairs stop falling out, then after birth, the hairs that should have fallen out before, all fall out in once.


In my case - my fine hair didn't get thicker at all during pregnancy - if anything, it became even more limp and thin - so the post partum shed really scared me.

[aksown]

I can see how a year of "NOT A HANDLE, NOT A HANDLE!" might move some moms to cut. Not me however.:D

[Newniepg]

From my very limited 9 week old baby experience, I can see why some Mothers would choose to cut their hair. I don't think my hair has been down since I gave birth, partially because it doesn't see a brush some days and also due to the joys of baby sick. Little One has started to grab things too.

I myself am not tempted to cut it though, babies eventually grow up and I would have to begin again.

[ravenreed]

I just wanted to chime in that although I didn't cut my hair short until my sons were 7 or 8-ish, for me, long hair is a much larger time commitment than short. I can totally understand why some women chose to do it after having a baby. Honestly, if my hair was as long then as it is now, I would probably have chopped a goodly portion off.

But then, I don't have anything against short hair anyway. I see it as valid a statement of personal expression as long hair.

[ravenreed]

About post partum shedding, yes I lost about 1/3 of my hair after each baby, and seem to lose a similar amount about every 7 or 8 years since... My hair is somewhat thinner than pre-baby days, but not horribly so. The most annoying part is the massive shed, after which I have a nice halo of shortie hairs for some time. But I think my shed was extreme. I don't recall any of my girlfriends losing that much at once.

[Ella Menneau P.]

I cut my hair after my daughter was born because she would get her damp sticky hands tangled in it, and end up with these long strands wound around her little fingers...

[Juanita]

When my girls were born 27 and 25 years ago cutting my hair never occured to me. It would have been an alien concept. My hair would have been at least tailbone. I can't remember about the shedding. I think my hair just was. I mostly braided it.People who haven't seem me for years tend to say you used to have really long hair.

[magpielaura]

I've been thinking that when I (hopefully!) have babies in the next few years it will be an excellent oppertunity to see if I can get to classic and beyond - I'll probably wear it up every single day for quite a few years and ignor it. I'll probably not try to go beyond tail bone until I've started breeding (!) as I think I wouldn't be able to wear it down much. I might as well enjoy having the option of easy hair down whilst I don't have to worry about puke in it.

I've never had short hair, so a short hair cut would mean learning how to deal with it from scratch, and would be more work than long anyday!

(Of course I don't know what sheding will do....but I still would keep it long enough to bun)

[darkwaves]

I think after having a baby we "lose ourselves" a little and we want some sort of big, drastic change but don't know how to go about it. The easiest thing to drastically change is hair.
I was thinking this, too -- and in some cultures, cutting hair is a symbol of mourning.

I don't know why I cut my hair after my second child was three or four -- maybe I wanted a change, maybe I wanted to be noticed again, maybe I was showing to the world that my inner self had changed. Or been lost? In some ways, yes. Being a stay at home mother of toddlers and with health issues meant huge parts of what I valued about myself were put on hold.


I wouldn't say that you "lose" yourself, but yes there are definite changes in your body. Not the body for me, but a psychological change -- and yes, loss -- that perhaps I wanted to mark physically in what turns out to be a traditional way.


http://i25.photobucket.com/albums/c79/spidermom/SHORT.jpg This was the haircut for baby #2. I was 33/34. Matronly? Not matronly at all! You were adorable.

When I cut my hair, I also went short, short, short -- and it was wonderful. I loved the feel of it on my scalp, rubbing my fingers through it. Very sensual. And cute. And I was told I looked about 12, too! (Really. Strangers used to think I was my kids' young babysitter.)

[euphrasyne]

A big part of the postpartum shed is the prenatal vitamins.

We take all these really terrific pills EVERYDAY for 9 months, then we quit. Combine that with shifting horomones and the hair just falls right out. I had MAJOR shedding which is still thin a year later with dd2.

[Katze]

I am really having trouble with my hair and my 5 week old baby.

While I won't cut, I would like to be able to do something more with it than just "twist it up and clip it". Also, unless I redo it, hairdos fall out anyway, and my bangs/layers always fall down too, giving her something to grab.

Yesterday i really wanted to braid my hair before going out to a mom and baby gathering, but since braiding involves a lot of brushing and oiling and redoing and combing for me, I didn't get to do so before leaving. Time is a much different thing now.

I love my baby but I have trouble keeping my hair out of her grasp. However, cutting it (unless I were to cut it shorter than cheekbone length) will not solve this problem. So I am hoping that I can keep it enough out of her way that I can "put it up and forget about it" and have it long when she is old enough to understand "don't pull."

As for shedding, I am shedding a little, but no "big shed" yet. Still taking my prenatal vitamins as well as fish oil, and trying to stay as healthy as possible, given an emergency C section and complications afterwards. Hope this is enough to keep the thickness I've gained.

[Eden Iris]

A big part of the postpartum shed is the prenatal vitamins.

I didn't take them for either pregnancy (they made me sick, and the midwives recommended getting my nutrients from food anyway) and had big shed both times. My theory is that during pregnancy the hair cycle (grow, fall, rest) changes, and we don't lose a few hairs every day like we normally do. So a few months after birth, when the hormones start to regulate, we shed several months of hair all at once. Since the growth cycle can't keep up (PP hormones again), many women experience thinner hair than they had before pregnancy.

If prenatal vitamins could give me big fat pregnancy hair now, I'd take them!

[redneckprincess]

I didnt cut my hair BECAUSE I had babies Just always liked the shorter styles

[lora410]

Before I found LHC I cut my almost wait hair to shoulder. I wasn't hair savvy and I got sick of ponytails and the awful tangles. Of course I really couldn't do anything with it then and didn't know anythign about hair care beyond shampoo, condish and blowdrying :shrug:

[Alun]

Babies pull your hair. My solution to that, however, was to hand them a large bunch of hair to pull. It only hurts when they only grab a few strands. That's my two cents, from a long haired father of two children. I spent plenty of time lugging them around when they were little. I think it does make some women cut their hair, though.

[florenonite]

Babies pull your hair. My solution to that, however, was to hand them a large bunch of hair to pull. It only hurts when they only grab a few strands. That's my two cents, from a long haired father of two children. I spent plenty of time lugging them around when they were little. I think it does make some women cut their hair, though.

That's very true.

Personally I've never understood cutting because babies pull, because they can pull chin-length hair, too, and then you've got to factor in appointments and everything.

I can see why people would think short hair would be easier in this respect, though.

[GeoJ]

I'm not a mom, and I'm not being vain when I say this and I mean NO offense at all, but...

Pregnancy seems terrifying!

Shedding hair? Why does your hair fall out after having a child? I thought that was what part of the reason why prenatal vitamens exist, to keep teeth and whatnot from falling out.

Not to mention the weight gain. I am just under 5'5 and weigh 125 pounds and am a 38DD (naturally). 10, 20, I heard even up to SEVENTY pounds would NOT look good on me. Do you really never get your pre baby body back? How long does it take to lose weight?

Idk...it seems like it's easy to "lose" yourself after having a baby. I won't let that happen but it's scary to think about.

Well, I was honestly terrified of pregnancy. Even though I deliberately got pregnant, I was shaking with fear for two days after I found out. It turned out to be less scary than I thought.

I think the prenatal vitamins are mainly for the health of the baby.

My hair shed was not too bad, it was mostly at the temples and it eventually grew back. I think it is a combination of hormonal changes, stress at birth, and the changes in the hair growth cycles during pregnancy.

I did not loose any teeth because I took good care of my dental health before and during my pregnancy.

I think whether or not you get your old body back depends on your body and your lifestyle. I am about 5'5" and naturally stay in the 115 to 120 pound range. I mostly got my pre-baby body back. It took one month to wear my looser pre-baby clothes, and a few months longer to wear my old skin-tight jeans.* The only permanent changes I see are in the firmness of my breasts (they did eventually go back to their original size) and in the shape of my rib-cage (it sticks out in front a little more).

*I should note here that I was in excellent physical shape before pregnancy, and continued running through the 7th month (then switched to indoor cardio machines until birth) and continued lifting weights throughout my pregnancy. I worked my abs (in pregnancy-safe ways) throughout my pregnancy. I began walking for exercise a week after birth, and resumed running and weight-lifting after about six weeks. I was nursing full-time which also helped with losing weight. Also, I had only gained the precise number of pounds recommended by my doctor during pregnancy (25, a lot of that went with the baby and placenta- I had ten to lose after birth).

All of my exercise listed above was discussed with my doctor and he said it was good. He did make recommendations on changes to my running and weight-lifting workouts, but felt I should continue them.

My Mom never exercised and was not eating healthy and she kept all of her extra baby-pounds until she finally made a lifestyle change nearly 30 years after her last baby was born.


My life has changed by having a baby, but I do not feel like I lost myself. :)

[Heavenly Locks]

I think maybe the OP was thinking she'd hear lots of "because that's what you're supposed to do" comments (based on her surprise at an answer or two...sorry, OP, not to put words in your mouth or anything) but instead, there really were other, solid reasons; reasons that were legitimate to each of us. It's okay to cut your hair after you have a baby and you don't have to "prove" you can keep it long if you really don't want to or, as some have said, the baby's throwing up in the hair, pulling the hair out...etc. It's actually not as cut and dried as "women cut their hair after childbirth because they're supposed to," and that's a good thing, isn't it? This has turned out to be a very informative thread in that way, IMO.

Let me say that I don't mind at all that you made an inference on my thoughts based on the OP. :) In fact, I appreciate it.

I have very little personal experience with pregnant women, small babies and all that. I based my OP on what I had seen and heard up until now.

I am VERY grateful for every post on this thread. It is experience that I just couldn't be exposed to in any other way. LHC really is invaluable! I had no idea about many of the reasons, in all seriousness, I really was under the impression that it was just something that was a socially 'done' thing. I also assumed that it was because women weren't able to care for it the same as before...

:grouphug: for everyone!

[Amoretti]

I just wore mine up 100% of the time. It worked perfectly and even grew longer. :D

[Unzadi]

Not a mom, but former nanny and former caregiver (for senior relatives) and wearing my hair up worked for me. I think Redneckprincess had the right idea; if one wants a shorter style, babies or no, then that's a good enough reason. But if one wants to keep long hair while caring for others there are a lot of practical methods to keep it. In the end, it's what works best and pleases the individual.

[blondecat]

I didn't cut my hair, byt, I did sercome to a dreadfull 'Long haired Spiral Perm, that was the rage at the time.

You know.... the wash and wear.

Well On BSL have my lovely locks decided to 'dreadlock' all by themselves. I had to comb way too many times and then plait it down [with oilling]

That perm lasted till the last of it was cut out 4 years later.

I said Never again..............................

Oppps I did it again 5 yrs later

[Lamb]

I remember when my mother cut her (just shy of APL) hair when I was small - I didn't like it much... I was fairly conservative even as a child.

But she also told me something interesting, for lack of a better word. When she took me and my sister to the playground, she would see lots of young mothers who slapped their babies and toddlers for tangling their little hands in mommy's hair. :mad: And I mean, slapped in an angry way, not playfully! Saying, "The darn kid is pulling at my hair again."
Mom was shocked by this - the women didn't even bother to put their hair up, they thought babies should be able to understand not to pull on their hair. :rolleyes:
Sometimes I think mom cut her own hair out of solidarity with the poor little things. If you have to choose between your hair length and your patience when you have a small child, go for the latter, was her reasoning.

[blondecat]

I didn't cut my hair, byt, I did sercome to a dreadfull 'Long haired Spiral Perm, that was the rage at the time.

You know.... the wash and wear.

Well On BSL have my lovely locks decided to 'dreadlock' all by themselves. I had to comb way too many times and then plait it down [with oilling]

That perm lasted till the last of it was cut out 4 years later.

I said Never again..............................

Oppps I did it again 5 yrs later.

Yes, I did learn.

never again [unless under duress lol]

[Magdalene]

Spoke to my mom (who at 67 still has thicker hair than me, sigh) She said she didn't notice any unusual shedding when she had me, and she didn't cut her hair, either (hers was somewhere around APL I think from the pics) So I'm relieved there!

[rhubarbarin]

I think it's totally an individual decision.. although I do experience a moment of sadness when pretty longer hair leaves someone's head. ;) I would also feel sad at the thought that someone would feel pressured into doing it when she didn't want to.

I can't imagine many women on LHC would do it, but we have an abnormal level of attachment to our hair and it's length.

For me - long hair truly is much easier than short. I have a ridiculous amount of body in my hair, and when it'svery short it stands straight up without tons of fussing, gets so mussed when I sleep that I have to spend time on it every morning, etc. When it's past 'very short' (shoulder) it's still a pain because I have to put in product and let it airdry, and can't put it up easily. My long hair I can wash twice a week and keep braided the rest of the time and it looks decent and stays out of the way.

[rhubarbarin]

Personally, I didn't notice any increased shedding at all.


I did a poll some time ago.. might be on the old boards. If I recall correctly only a few women had no shed at all, most had a moderate shed but nothing severe, some had very pronounced sheds. Usually most of the thickness lost returned in time.

[embee]

When I was a young mother I thought I looked ugly with a Mean Library Lady Bun, and my baby grabbed my hair while he was nursing if my hair was loose and that *hurt* because he always got those dangling wispies at the very front.

I had no idea that I could do attractive things with my long straight hair, other than leaving it down. For sure I didn't have time or energy to be curling my hair every day/night.

So I did a serious chop, back to an almost Boy Cut. It didn't look good, but it sure was easy to take care of.... except I couldn't afford the frequent trims so it usually looked pretty shaggy. :( I did *not* feel attractive at all as a young mother/wife. I was ashamed of my looks and felt ugly.

Now I am an old lady and I'm ok with how I am. Go figure. ;)

[Krystyle]

I cut mine because I was shedding massive amounts and was so tired of seeing long hairs all over my carpet or just landing on my chest (or baby's face when he was nursing). When I just tried to keep it up and out of the way, it seemed to get tangled so badly. It was bra strap length and I cut it to ear length. It still shed but at least it didn't look like cousin It had come to visit. Then stupidly, a few months later, I bleached it bc I thought it would be fun and it's been fun trying to grow it back out bc I got to experiment.

[ShoshanUhura]

This thread has given me much food for thought. Hubby and I are trying/hoping for a baby, and I'm thinking by the time we have a little one, my locks will be at least APL. (The back of my hairis shoulder length now)
So I've added to my List of Things to Do in Preparation for Pregnancy and Motherhood:

I'm going to get some attractive headcoverings/scarves and learn how to wear them and tie them! It'll be fun!

[SheWolf]

I cut mine because I was shedding massive amounts and was so tired of seeing long hairs all over my carpet or just landing on my chest (or baby's face when he was nursing). When I just tried to keep it up and out of the way, it seemed to get tangled so badly. It was bra strap length and I cut it to ear length. It still shed but at least it didn't look like cousin It had come to visit. Then stupidly, a few months later, I bleached it bc I thought it would be fun and it's been fun trying to grow it back out bc I got to experiment.

Yep. I know several moms whose postpartum hormonal drop caused their hair to shed like crazy, they had no other choice but to cut it.

[windinherhair]

I have had a lot of people ask me about my long hair as if it would be *so* much work. It really isn't. I have maybe spent a little more time with experiments since I joined LHC though! :) I am not a mother yet, and someday when I am... I plan on keeping my long hair. I have seen how a lot of women cut their hair after having children, and I don't want to do that. Long hair could easily be put up if it would get in the way. It doesn't sound selfish at all. It isn't the baby that would really mind one way or the other. :)

I have joked with people telling them that I am going to be the elderly woman with the long gray braid. No plans on cutting hair here! :D

[Speckla]

I found being pregnant the perfect time to grow my hair 'cause it grew so fast. I did shed a lot afterwards but only along my forehead and not the back where the real length was. I learned to love bangs to cover the thinness. :) It didn't take any extra time because I always wore it in a ponytail or a clip. I can't tell you how many times my son has barfed in my hair - but only once when he was a baby.

[ccmuffingirl]

I've always hated that and the notion that one has to shorn their lovely tresses because they've advanced in age. Why? I think that long hair on older ladies looks lovely. They should only cut it if they truly want to, not due to the pressures society may heave upon them.

[amandasmith911]

My step-daughter is expecting, and she cut off about 8 inches of hair. It looks cute but i so loved her long lovely hair. When i was pregnate I took advanatge of it and let my hair grow.

Amanda

[hennaphile]

My mom had the most gorgeous hair (princess leia like) and cut it when me and my brother came along because appearantly we pulled it when we were thiiiiis big. It never grew back, most of her hair fell out, and I don't know that she can ever get back what she had. Love it while it's there folks.

[Zindell]

A lot of women where I live cut their hair already during pregnancy, before they got their babies. It never made sense to me. :)

And if the hair is in the way when the baby is born it's sooo easy to just put it up in a ponytail and it's out of the way.

I refused to cut my hair when I was pregnant and when my DD was a baby. I didn't even put it up... I can't remember it beeing any extra work at all. Then of course she really never pulled my hair or the like. :-)

[thunderlilies]

I have two little children and haven't cut my hair... nor do I plan to! The problem I have is another type of "mommy hair" - the unkept, un-brushed look because of lack of time (or desire). I wear my hair up 95% of the time, which helps it look somewhat put together, and at least it's still there, right?

[TokyoPink]

My cousin recently had a baby boy and she still has her hair long. Although her baby doesn't pull on it or anything so i suppose that must add to it.

[squiggyflop]

hmm my moms hair only got short when she started working again.. for some reason its easier for a woman with short hair to be hired as an accountant.. i dont know why but it worked for her..

oh and to the OP
long hair is not easier for everyone.. long hair is much harder for me to care for than shoulder length.. but im one of those lucky people who's hair never needs to be set when short to look good.. my wave pattern is to blame for that.. with short hair all i had to do was wash it and comb it backward and in half an hour it would dry into perfect waves.. i certainly never had to use conditioner.. it took me less than a minute to detangle my hair and i never needed products or more than one hair tool (my long hair always needs products and i end up using several different combs and brushes).. however right now the prettyness of long hair outweighs the annoyance of spending 30+ minutes a day detangling it.. however if i were to have a baby i would most likely chop my hair back to shoulder.. its just easier for me..

[diginado]

Cut my hair after my second, huge shed. Seemed like more in my brush then on my head, so I cut. No regrets. But so wish I started growing back sooner after things resettled themselves! But I will give advice to new Moms - no hoop or dangly earrings :-) Shiny and on Mom, let's grab!

[Toadstool]

My sister in law cut her hair short when she was pregnant, and I remember her mother saying "Well you wouldn't want all that hair around when you're going through labour." Her hair was only shoulder length to start with.

[Lile]

I can understand both reasoning to cut it and not to cut it.
I think it's just said when a mommy sacrifices herself totally and completely for a child.
If I had to do That I'd never want children...it's my life too,not just the newborn's!
I've seen some good examples for being a mommy and a woman at the same time,so I'm not too worried about loosing myself,and my hair.

[rach]

i've seen loads of people chop off there lovely hair just as it was about to "get longish" and it was suppose to be down to practicality. myself with 3 kids under 7 years, i never did, it was one things i my eyes which kept my famine side and made "me" feel good about my self rather than purely focusing on the kid practicality. for practicality , especially with breast feed and baby cuddles with there wondering hands, you just have it up if there are issues. same goes for earrings , just use studs if there are problems, but the novelly for the baby is short lived. it seems to be such a drastic over-the-top method., and plus if's it's longer it easier to keep up, where is the logic in all this :confused:

[Pacific]

I'm mother of 4 and always have had long hair, babies are no no obstacle for it.

[Quixii]

Yeah, I was kinda wondering the same thing. I have a friend who recently had a baby, and while she didn't have really long hair, it was probably mid-back or so, and she got it cut to chin length. It actually looked pretty good, but I'm not sure why she felt she had to get a hair cut just because she had a child.
My mom kept her hair long throughout all her kids. *shrug*

[FullMoonTrim]

Good idea for a thread, I have enjoyed reading these posts. I can see both ways...I like the idea of keeping your hair after you have the baby, especially if it makes you feel beautiful and like yourself. I can also see women chopping it off if it starts to thin. I never found long hair to be a hassle, except for when I am with my sweetheart, it gets tangled!

[HomesteadMommy]

I don't know, I've never seen the logic in it either. I've had short and long hair. I think that it's easier to care for long! It just takes a few seconds to pull it back or up. I have never really had trouble with babies pulling my hair...

[feralnature]

I cut my hair short when I had the first of my 4 children because of the puke and other excrement that would end up in my hair. I hated how it looked though, I didn't feel like me.

[naomimcc]

I actually think that having a baby around might just be good for your hair. For one thing, you'd keep it up all the time to avoid getting it puked on and for keeping it out of the way when you're changing diapers and other stuff like that.

Also, you probably don't have time to wash it quite as often. Nothing wrong with some benign neglect. ;)

yeah. that.

i went back and forth re; cutting for MONTHS. And I still have my long hair. But only out of sheer laziness. I can't be bothered to go get it cut and then keep cutting it for maintenance. Blah. Seems like alotta work. Waaaaay easier to just throw it in a bun and ignore it.:p

[girloctopus]

yeah. that.

i went back and forth re; cutting for MONTHS. And I still have my long hair. But only out of sheer laziness. I can't be bothered to go get it cut and then keep cutting it for maintenance. Blah. Seems like alotta work. Waaaaay easier to just throw it in a bun and ignore it.:p

I agree with this! I was debating a mommy cut for a while after my son was born because I wanted an easier "wash and wear" haircut. But with the sleep deprivation and just barely getting to shower at all, now my hair only needs a wash once a week and wearing it up all the time is easier than any short cut. But your results may vary. :)

[kafka]

Interestingly, I started really growing my hair with my first child. First, I had no more money/free time, so haircuts/styling went out the window (I didn't say it looked particularly clean, mind you, just that it was long). Second, I found as my little one grew older that he found brushing my hair at night to be very soothing. All three of my kids (two boys and a girl) love to brush my hair every evening as part of their bedtime routine. Cutting it, therefore, is not an option.

[MoonMaiden90]

Having shorter hair would keep it out of the way, but I'd rather take four seconds to throw my long hair up in a ponytail. :-)

[Katze]

I still think hair has to be REALLY short to be out of a baby's way all the time - like boy cut short. Baby kitty loves being over my shoulder, and she can even grab my shortest, chin length layer. The shorter hairs are actually more annoying because I CAN'T get them out of her way.

If you are regularly getting spitup or poop in your hair, something's amiss, I think, though baby kitty did manage to poop in her daddy's BEARD when she was brand new - shot up from the changing table and hit him in the side of the face.

I can see the shedding leading people to cut. mine is scary - more than 100 hairs a day. Hoping it doesn't last.

[Katze]

I still think hair has to be REALLY short to be out of a baby's way all the time - like boy cut short. Baby kitty loves being over my shoulder, and she can even grab my shortest, chin length layer. The shorter hairs are actually more annoying because I CAN'T get them out of her way.

If you are regularly getting spitup or poop in your hair, something's amiss, I think, though baby kitty did manage to poop in her daddy's BEARD when she was brand new - shot up from the changing table and hit him in the side of the face. Being clean shaven would have just meant she hit his face!

I can see the shedding leading people to cut. mine is scary - more than 100 hairs a day. Hoping it doesn't last. But otherwise it makes no sense at all.

[musicmomma]

I cut mine because I got tired of it getting puked on all the time. My kids were big into spitting up, and I hated the smell of urp in my hair every day until I could shower, and then it was usually only a short time before it happened again.

Once everyone quit yakking in my hair, I let it grow again :)

i totally agree. i cut my hair after my last was born cause she would never take her fingers out of it. it was easier to cut than get upset every time it got pulled. now its below my bra and i'm ecstatic. :D

[walkinglady]

Sometimes a woman cuts her hair for reasons other than cosmetic. I was one of those women. My first pregnancy my hair grew like crazy; both length and thickness. Wish it still grew like that! I never once thought of cutting it when my baby was born. With my second pregnancy my hair was falling out by the fist full, it was horrible! I literally woke up with my hair wound in a 1/2" tight rope from one side of my head to the other! Talk about depressing! I did cut when my second child was born for that very reason. I did find short hair to be more work. I had to curl it and use tons of spray to hold it. I had to shampoo everyday to get the product out. It was a vicious circle. Most days it did look nice though : )