PDA

View Full Version : which is worse



redneckprincess
May 8th, 2009, 09:33 AM
Ok My hair is naturally wavy and I can't take it anymore, i hate it!! So I bought a store bought (white people) chemical hair straightner, so I dont have to use my flat iron every day to achive straighter hair. Once it gets to between APL/BSL It wont bother me anymore. I did this for the first time in 10 years (basically because I forgot they made it, lol) at the begining of january. It took out quite a bit of the curl took me from a almost a C to mid-B.

Also my DD/12 wants me do hers again..we could both stand to have it a little straighter right out of the shower...HER: she dosnt take care of her hair well enough just yet to keep it as (3c/3b) curly as it is naturally. We will both (once past BSL) be able to handle growing it natural, but right now its just to short to be this curly. (i put some of her pics up on a new pic album I just created check em out..)

So my question is... is it more damaging to straighten with this chemical perm stuff or to hot flat iron?

RavennaNight
May 8th, 2009, 09:54 AM
Step away from the box-O-straightener. Slowly. :tmi: That stuff burnt my husband's scalp. I would suggest doing neither the iron or this stuff. Unless you decide you rather have straight than healthy growth. There's nothing wrong with an occasional straightironing. You really don't want to embrace your natural wave pattern? I think the chemical actually will break the keratin bonds in your hair then re seal them with the chemical. So that can do some permanent damage.

I used to iron my hair every day, too. When I stopped, at first I couldn't figure out what to do with the weird waves I was getting. Then when I switched to henna from chemical dyes, my problem began solving itself. (henna is very permanent. Unless you want red hair forever, or in my henna-indigo case black, I do not really advise you dive into this frivolously) My hair is only slightly wavy now, as the henna straightened out the wave pattern a bit. Also you are in the early stages of growing your hair. You have a few awkward lengths to get past. For me it was helmethead shoulder length. As it grows, the weight keeps it down too, for some. Is it long enough to wear up? Or pin back? Try some clear aloe vera gel to help tame the hair a bit. You use it just like regular hair gel, but it's natural and nourishing.

Kirin
May 8th, 2009, 09:55 AM
I am no expert, but I would say both are equally damaging. One the damage builds over time, the other the damage is laid on all at once. Either way, I would say it is about equal.

Another option you might consider is blowdrying on a cold setting which would cause much less damage than either of these methods.

Rohele
May 8th, 2009, 10:06 AM
Honestly, I think both are really not so kind to hair. The damage will show up more and become more of a problem as it grows.

I hear you on the curliness at the shorter lengths though - mine is a hassle when its above the shoulder if I don't heat style it (thats one of the reasons I'm growing it).

I flat ironed my hair every day for 2 years. It looked OK when it was short, but as it is getting longer, and the hairs have been around longer/exposed to the elements more etc. instead of being trimmed off, the damage is becoming more apparent. I have regrets about this - it will result in a fairly big chop of the ends at some point. I was doing all the "right" things too, with a heat protector serum etc.

Maybe live with the curls and clip them out of the way, day to day, and save flat ironing for just once and a while?

If it were my hair I would really avoid the relaxer, I wouldn't want the texture change as it grew (straighter ends and curly top).

But yeah, I sympathize - giving up the flat iron was one of the harder things I did, but its worth it to learn to work with your natural texture.

redneckprincess
May 8th, 2009, 10:10 AM
right now until it gets to almost BSL just past APL, yes it is more important that we have straighter hair. I hate to have to keep my hair pinned up all the time

redneckprincess
May 8th, 2009, 10:13 AM
Honestly, I think both are really not so kind to hair. The damage will show up more and become more of a problem as it grows.

I hear you on the curliness at the shorter lengths though - mine is a hassle when its above the shoulder if I don't heat style it (thats one of the reasons I'm growing it).

I flat ironed my hair every day for 2 years. It looked OK when it was short, but as it is getting longer, and the hairs have been around longer/exposed to the elements more etc. instead of being trimmed off, the damage is becoming more apparent. I have regrets about this - it will result in a fairly big chop of the ends at some point. I was doing all the "right" things too, with a heat protector serum etc.

Maybe live with the curls and clip them out of the way, day to day, and save flat ironing for just once and a while?

If it were my hair I would really avoid the relaxer, I wouldn't want the texture change as it grew (straighter ends and curly top).

But yeah, I sympathize - giving up the flat iron was one of the harder things I did, but its worth it to learn to work with your natural texture.

its not a relaxer...basically a straight perm... and no my roots dont wave up till they have grown 5 inches or more never have... its poker straight on the roots and wavy/curly as heck on the ends

Rohele
May 8th, 2009, 10:15 AM
its not a relaxer...basically a straight perm...

Aren't they more or less the same thing :confused:

Rohele
May 8th, 2009, 10:16 AM
right now until it gets to almost BSL just past APL, yes it is more important that we have straighter hair. I hate to have to keep my hair pinned up all the time

Then you have to make your choice - healthy or straight.

ETA: I'm just remembering there's some info about "hair wrapping" on this site. Basically it involves pinning hair around one's head while it dries to achieve a straighter look. That would be a totally non-damaging way, as it involves air drying. I can't remember exactly what its called, but I think some members have tried it.

jel
May 8th, 2009, 10:41 AM
Ok My hair is naturally wavy and I can't take it anymore, i hate it!!


Why do you hate your waves? Are they too frizzy or not smooth enough - in which case more moisture could help? Or do you just prefer straight hair, in which case you can to pin wet hair around the head to straighten without damage.

A lot of us that grow our hair *do* make changes to the natural texture or colour. There's henna and herbal colours, braid waves, rag curls, plopping... Some people even manage to have healthy long hair whilst using chemical colourants or perms/relaxers. Those people, though, are in the minority - and are blessed with naturally resilient hair! :D

ETA: However, I see that you don't plan to grow your hair very long - around BSL, it seems from the numbers? As you'll be trimming away the ends quite regularly you could possibly get away with using chemical straightening, whilst conditioning heavily. I wouldn't recommend flat ironing as that can damage the hair shaft along the whole length.

redneckprincess
May 8th, 2009, 10:52 AM
Why do you hate your waves? Are they too frizzy or not smooth enough - in which case more moisture could help? Or do you just prefer straight hair, in which case you can to pin wet hair around the head to straighten without damage.
.

they are just ugly and i look better with straighter hair. like i said before once I reach APL I will completly give up ALL chemical procedures, and only use my flat iron when needed.
Im sure that will call for a few tiny trims over the next couple years. But yes its that important to me to beable to go from the shower, and comb to town or whatnot without styling, straightning or "wrapping my hair arround my head"

lapushka
May 8th, 2009, 10:56 AM
I get why you might do this, but why do this on a twelve year old? :shocked:

wintersun99
May 8th, 2009, 10:57 AM
So my question is... is it more damaging to straighten with this chemical perm stuff or to hot flat iron?

They are both damaging. No way around that.

redneckprincess
May 8th, 2009, 10:58 AM
ETA: However, I see that you don't plan to grow your hair very long - around BSL, it seems from the numbers? As you'll be trimming away the ends quite regularly you could possibly get away with using chemical straightening, whilst conditioning heavily. I wouldn't recommend flat ironing as that can damage the hair shaft along the whole length.

Yes BSL is my first goal, we'll see what I decide to do when I hit that, I may go for waist??

wintersun99
May 8th, 2009, 10:58 AM
I get why you might do this, but why do this on a twelve year old? :shocked:

Wondered the same thing. :confused:

redneckprincess
May 8th, 2009, 11:01 AM
I get why you might do this, but why do this on a twelve year old? :shocked:

because she cries when she has to brush her hair, she cant keep up with it...and its either that or flat iron her hair everyday, And I personally dont have the time to do that everymorning at 6am, and she dosnt know how to flat iron hers very well, nor does SHE have the time to do so.

wintersun99
May 8th, 2009, 11:03 AM
because she cries when she has to brush her hair, she cant keep up with it...and its either that or flat iron her hair everyday, And I personally dont have the time to do that everymorning at 6am, and she dosnt know how to flat iron hers very well, nor does SHE have the time to do so.

Have you looked into the "curly girl method" someone here can direct you probably (I'm not a curly) but it has to be better than chemicals and irons, at least worth a try first... no?

jel
May 8th, 2009, 11:05 AM
But yes its that important to me to beable to go from the shower, and comb to town or whatnot without styling, straightning or "wrapping my hair arround my head"

But you can... a lot of us do... you just don't want to. :shrug:

spidermom
May 8th, 2009, 11:07 AM
I believe the chemical straightener is worse. There are less damaging ways to use the flat iron. You should use a protective spray which works to make the hair very slick so that the flat iron will glide over it rather than catching. If you do each strand very quick with only one pass, the damage will be minimal.

spidermom
May 8th, 2009, 11:08 AM
because she cries when she has to brush her hair, she cant keep up with it...and its either that or flat iron her hair everyday, And I personally dont have the time to do that everymorning at 6am, and she dosnt know how to flat iron hers very well, nor does SHE have the time to do so.

Curly hair should not be brushed.

florenonite
May 8th, 2009, 11:12 AM
Curly hair should not be brushed.

^what she said^

My sister has curly hair (3a/3b) and she combs her hair before a shower (to get out the shed hairs as we all shed buttloads) and again in the shower when it's wet to detangle properly. Your daughter could probably get away with just combing in the shower, especially if she washes her hair daily, as I think you implied further up the thread.

redneckprincess
May 8th, 2009, 11:12 AM
But you can... a lot of us do... you just don't want to. :shrug:
ha, not at this leingth, sorry!! have you seen my hair (unstraightened)? maybe you would understand if you did....why do I feel like im being attacked? am I not welcome here in your community?

redneckprincess
May 8th, 2009, 11:13 AM
I believe the chemical straightener is worse. There are less damaging ways to use the flat iron. You should use a protective spray which works to make the hair very slick so that the flat iron will glide over it rather than catching. If you do each strand very quick with only one pass, the damage will be minimal.
I do, I use protecter and as minimal time on the iron as possible

redneckprincess
May 8th, 2009, 11:14 AM
Curly hair should not be brushed.
oh no it should be left to look like a rats nest...sorry I am just sick of being attacked for asking a question...ya'll want me out...I'M OUT!! Just say the word....geeze :mad:

redneckprincess
May 8th, 2009, 11:16 AM
^what she said^

My sister has curly hair (3a/3b) and she combs her hair before a shower (to get out the shed hairs as we all shed buttloads) and again in the shower when it's wet to detangle properly. Your daughter could probably get away with just combing in the shower, especially if she washes her hair daily, as I think you implied further up the thread.
oh yeah she definatly dosnt brush it wet, combs only...

Heavenly Locks
May 8th, 2009, 11:18 AM
Can you show us your hair naturally air dried without products...maybe we can help you actually like the way your waves look :) I'd love to see your waves...

spidermom
May 8th, 2009, 11:21 AM
No, not at all. We don't want you out (at least I don't). It's just that experience has taught us that if you want long hair, the less you do to it chemically and the less heat you use, the better, faster, and more healthy your hair growth will be. As for your daughter, you really shouldn't use a brush. It ruins the curl pattern and shreds the ends. A wide-tooth comb would be much better, and it's easiest to comb curly hair when it is wet and full of conditioner.

We're trying to help, not attack; please do not be offended.

florenonite
May 8th, 2009, 11:24 AM
oh no it should be left to look like a rats nest...sorry I am just sick of being attacked for asking a question...ya'll want me out...I'M OUT!! Just say the word....geeze :mad:


oh yeah she definatly dosnt brush it wet, combs only...

We don't want you out, we're trying to help.

It's good she doesn't brush it wet (I did that for years because I didn't like combs :p), but curly hair isn't going to look like a rat's nest because you don't brush it; in fact, it often looks better unbrushed than brushed.

redneckprincess
May 8th, 2009, 11:24 AM
Can you show us your hair naturally air dried without products...maybe we can help you actually like the way your waves look :) I'd love to see your waves...
not on here, sorry, I dont know how go to my page and look in my 2ed attempt ablum I just put some up from yesterday...but remember thats still AFTER a chemical straightner this past Janurary...also there are some pics of my daughter in an album....* per chemical straightner..getting ready to flat iron (and the after)

amaiaisabella
May 8th, 2009, 11:25 AM
Honestly, if you do this treatment on your hair, it's going to damage it further and grow more slowly. That's not what you want, no?

As for your daughter, members are not saying to not detangle the hair, but rather use a comb, which doesn't hurt and won't break the hair. The CO method might also be beneficial to your daughter and will leave her hair much easier to comb.

Please do not attack members for responding to your posts. We are trying to help you, and if you have a question on a post, please state it instead of assuming we are trying to get you out, or attack you.

spidermom said what I am trying to, though much more concisely, as did florenonite :)

neon-dream
May 8th, 2009, 11:27 AM
once I reach APL I will completly give up ALL chemical procedures, and only use my flat iron when needed.

Well as long as this is what you want :).
I'm cutting out straightening damage too, so I wouldn't reccommend sacrificing your hair's health to get it. But then again it's your decision

ktani
May 8th, 2009, 11:29 AM
Ok My hair is naturally wavy and I can't take it anymore, i hate it!! So I bought a store bought (white people) chemical hair straightner, so I dont have to use my flat iron every day to achive straighter hair. Once it gets to between APL/BSL It wont bother me anymore. I did this for the first time in 10 years (basically because I forgot they made it, lol) at the begining of january. It took out quite a bit of the curl took me from a almost a C to mid-B.

Also my DD/12 wants me do hers again..we could both stand to have it a little straighter right out of the shower...HER: she dosnt take care of her hair well enough just yet to keep it as (3c/3b) curly as it is naturally. We will both (once past BSL) be able to handle growing it natural, but right now its just to short to be this curly. (i put some of her pics up on a new pic album I just created check em out..)

So my question is... is it more damaging to straighten with this chemical perm stuff or to hot flat iron?

Both of those process are potentially damaging.

Have a look at this thread (http://forums.longhaircommunity.com/showthread.php?t=21323). In spite of speculation in the first few pages, it (the product system) was tried and reported on and it did work fairly well for a member here (http://forums.longhaircommunity.com/showpost.php?p=501938&postcount=36). If you do not care for it, I do not see it causing any permanent problems and the products may be the solution for you.

Here is the video on the products. (http://www.truveo.com/MIT-Scientists-Create-No-Frizz-by-Living-Proof/id/1051167404)

redneckprincess
May 8th, 2009, 11:34 AM
Honestly, if you do this treatment on your hair, it's going to damage it further and grow more slowly. That's not what you want, no?

As for your daughter, members are not saying to not detangle the hair, but rather use a comb, which doesn't hurt and won't break the hair. The CO method might also be beneficial to your daughter and will leave her hair much easier to comb.

Please do not attack members for responding to your posts. We are trying to help you, and if you have a question on a post, please state it instead of assuming we are trying to get you out, or attack you.

spidermom said what I am trying to, though much more concisely, as did florenonite :)

we tried that...she has to shampoo do to the fact that she is a preteen girl with some major head odor issues, along with continual build up, dandriff, pimples in her hair

I am not attacking anyone just asking a qyestion and i just said I felt as though i told you "you must shave your head" Please, I was just starting to feel like I finally found a place where I belong...if I dont, you can tell me nicely

redneckprincess
May 8th, 2009, 11:36 AM
Both of those process are potentially damaging.

Have a look at this thread (http://forums.longhaircommunity.com/showthread.php?t=21323). In spite of speculation in the first few pages, it (the product system) was tried and reported on and it did work fairly well for a member here (http://forums.longhaircommunity.com/showpost.php?p=501938&postcount=36). If you do not care for it, I do not see it causing any permanent problems and the products may be the solution for you.

Here is the video on the products. (http://www.truveo.com/MIT-Scientists-Create-No-Frizz-by-Living-Proof/id/1051167404)
Oh My I dont by any means want to lighten my hair just straighten it

ktani
May 8th, 2009, 11:39 AM
Oh My I dont by any means want to lighten my hair just straighten it

The thread I gave you the information for is about styling products, not lightening. You must have been looking at my signature threads.

spidermom
May 8th, 2009, 11:40 AM
we tried that...she has to shampoo do to the fact that she is a preteen girl with some major head odor issues, along with continual build up, dandriff, pimples in her hair

I am not attacking anyone just asking a qyestion and i just said I felt as though i told you "you must shave your head" Please, I was just starting to feel like I finally found a place where I belong...if I dont, you can tell me nicely

Several of us already told you nicely that you are welcome here, and we're trying to help not attack. If you have the goal of waist-length hair, chemical straightening on top of bleaching is going to make it very difficult, if not impossible, to achieve that goal because your ends are going to dry out and break off. If the color and being straight are higher priority goals than the length, then disregard everything we have said.

I think shampooing is fine. Have you tried combing conditioner through her hair after she washes it? Then if she just presses the extra water out of it between her two hands with a towel, being careful not to mess it all around, she should be able to let it dry from there, maybe with one more combing, and have her hair form pretty curls.

florenonite
May 8th, 2009, 11:41 AM
we tried that...she has to shampoo do to the fact that she is a preteen girl with some major head odor issues, along with continual build up, dandriff, pimples in her hair

Are you sure the dandruff and pimples are from it being greasy and needing shampooed? I'm just bringing this up because I found that when I stretched out washings and diluted shampoo (CO failed spectacularly) the dandruff and pimples decreased significantly, because it was really a dry scalp being aggravated than a greasy scalp.

Of course, I'm old enough that my hormones are settling down a bit, so that may well not be her problem. I'd recommend then just using copious amounts of conditioner on her hair (though try to keep it away from the scalp :p) and maybe trying the CWC method, though her hair might not be long enough for that to work.

amaiaisabella
May 8th, 2009, 11:42 AM
we tried that...she has to shampoo do to the fact that she is a preteen girl with some major head odor issues, along with continual build up, dandriff, pimples in her hair

I am not attacking anyone just asking a qyestion and i just said I felt as though i told you "you must shave your head" Please, I was just starting to feel like I finally found a place where I belong...if I dont, you can tell me nicely

You can use diluted shampoo on her hair, which still cleans but more gently, or try to find a gentler shampoo that won't dry her hair out as much.

Even if you need shampoo, a good leave-in (or a light conditioner you can leave in the hair) is essential to detangle the hair without breaking. Or try to find a good deep conditioner you both can use twice a week.

I worked in a hair salon and went from platinum blonde to black hair, all within a few months. My hair was damaged, but not as bad as it could be, mostly because I took care of it.

You've said yourself that your hair is damaged from your previous bleachings, as well as all the heat styling you do. The members here have a lot of years of experience, as well as practical experience of things that did-didn't work. Find a member with similar hairtype as you and maybe they can give you a few tips.

jel
May 8th, 2009, 11:44 AM
ha, not at this leingth, sorry!! have you seen my hair (unstraightened)? maybe you would understand if you did....why do I feel like im being attacked? am I not welcome here in your community?

I'm sorry that you feel you're being attacked. That was certainly not my intent. I was trying to understand why you feel bad about your wavy hair, as personally I adore waves.

I've now looked at your albums, and those pictures where you say your hair was not flat-ironed, it looks *gorgeous*! Stunning colour, and mild, even waves. So no, I still don't understand why you hate them, I'm afraid.


I am not attacking anyone just asking a qyestion and i just said I felt as though i told you "you must shave your head" Please, I was just starting to feel like I finally found a place where I belong...if I dont, you can tell me nicely

I really don't think anyone's attacking you. People were answering your question. You've posted on a long hair board, so any advice you get will be slanted towards achieving/maintaining long, healthy hair. And neither chemical straightening nor flat ironing can be described as good for hair.

Autumnberry
May 8th, 2009, 11:45 AM
Step away from the box-O-straightener. Slowly. :tmi: That stuff burnt my husband's scalp. I would suggest doing neither the iron or this stuff. Unless you decide you rather have straight than healthy growth. There's nothing wrong with an occasional straightironing. You really don't want to embrace your natural wave pattern? I think the chemical actually will break the keratin bonds in your hair then re seal them with the chemical. So that can do some permanent damage.

I used to iron my hair every day, too. When I stopped, at first I couldn't figure out what to do with the weird waves I was getting. Then when I switched to henna from chemical dyes, my problem began solving itself. (henna is very permanent. Unless you want red hair forever, or in my henna-indigo case black, I do not really advise you dive into this frivolously) My hair is only slightly wavy now, as the henna straightened out the wave pattern a bit. Also you are in the early stages of growing your hair. You have a few awkward lengths to get past. For me it was helmethead shoulder length. As it grows, the weight keeps it down too, for some. Is it long enough to wear up? Or pin back? Try some clear aloe vera gel to help tame the hair a bit. You use it just like regular hair gel, but it's natural and nourishing.

Yeah, I agree, henna is something to really consider carefully :p. For me, though, it is fantastic, and the slight weight it imparted helps my frizzies lay flat so that they don't need to be blow-fried any longer! So henna has saved me some valuable time AND helped protect by both it's natural conditioning properties/less blow frying.

redneckprincess
May 8th, 2009, 11:49 AM
Several of us already told you nicely that you are welcome here, and we're trying to help not attack. If you have the goal of waist-length hair, chemical straightening on top of bleaching is going to make it very difficult, if not impossible, to achieve that goal because your ends are going to dry out and break off. If the color and being straight are higher priority goals than the length, then disregard everything we have said.

I think shampooing is fine. Have you tried combing conditioner through her hair after she washes it? Then if she just presses the extra water out of it between her two hands with a towel, being careful not to mess it all around, she should be able to let it dry from there, maybe with one more combing, and have her hair form pretty curls.

oh my gosh, no Im trying to grow out the bleach, I had that last done OVER a year ago.

Yes I have tought her how to wash AND dry her hair, but she is a preteen girl and so she still does it her own way....and all the other girls in school have poker straight apl or bsl hair...so she of course wants the same...were you ever the girl who didnt fit in because of some stupid childish reasion like hair cut/style/leingth or even weight/clothes/whatever ?? can you understand that she is and it is very important to HER that she has straight hair or something resembling so, besides that is the ONLY chemicals I have and will ever put on her hair....

redneckprincess
May 8th, 2009, 11:53 AM
Both of those process are potentially damaging.

Have a look at this thread (http://forums.longhaircommunity.com/showthread.php?t=21323). In spite of speculation in the first few pages, it (the product system) was tried and reported on and it did work fairly well for a member here (http://forums.longhaircommunity.com/showpost.php?p=501938&postcount=36). If you do not care for it, I do not see it causing any permanent problems and the products may be the solution for you.

Here is the video on the products. (http://www.truveo.com/MIT-Scientists-Create-No-Frizz-by-Living-Proof/id/1051167404)


sorry i guess thats your siggnature...my bad:o

RavennaNight
May 8th, 2009, 11:53 AM
Redneckprincess :grouphug:. I am sorry you are so frustrated. That is what I read when I read your posts. You are frustrated and at your wits end with hair that won't obey what you want it to do. Seriously though I think your natural waves are really pretty. And your daughter may benefit from detangling with a comb in the shower, while the hair is coated in conditioner, and then combing while rinsing. Take care!

ktani
May 8th, 2009, 11:56 AM
sorry i guess thats your siggnature...my bad:o

No worries. The styling products may just be what you and your daughter need without concerns about damage.

redneckprincess
May 8th, 2009, 11:57 AM
Are you sure the dandruff and pimples are from it being greasy and needing shampooed? I'm just bringing this up because I found that when I stretched out washings and diluted shampoo (CO failed spectacularly) the dandruff and pimples decreased significantly, because it was really a dry scalp being aggravated than a greasy scalp.

Of course, I'm old enough that my hormones are settling down a bit, so that may well not be her problem. I'd recommend then just using copious amounts of conditioner on her hair (though try to keep it away from the scalp :p) and maybe trying the CWC method, though her hair might not be long enough for that to work.

yep, her hair is VERY oily and greasy...her hormones are just kicking in and so this is what we have to deal with....and yes I do toll her to CWC, but like i said i dont stand with her in the shower to make sure she does so.

redneckprincess
May 8th, 2009, 11:58 AM
I'm sorry that you feel you're being attacked. That was certainly not my intent. I was trying to understand why you feel bad about your wavy hair, as personally I adore waves.

I've now looked at your albums, and those pictures where you say your hair was not flat-ironed, it looks *gorgeous*! Stunning colour, and mild, even waves. So no, I still don't understand why you hate them, I'm afraid.



I really don't think anyone's attacking you. People were answering your question. You've posted on a long hair board, so any advice you get will be slanted towards achieving/maintaining long, healthy hair. And neither chemical straightening nor flat ironing can be described as good for hair.

but thats because you like them, there on me and i dont...maybe when it gets longer I will like them

spidermom
May 8th, 2009, 11:58 AM
Oh yes, I most definitely was the girl who didn't fit in, and with my alcoholic father spending all the family money at the bar and my hand-me-down clothes from the old ladies at our church, there was no way I was ever going to fit in. Fortunate for me; I learned not to give a flying fork what other people thought. But anyway ....... if your daughter's goals are more for straight hair than for long hair, then straighten it.

Even hair that looks the same will be different. Bleaching my hair just destroys it. My DD (age 23) has her hair highlighted once or twice a year, and it grows along just fine. She also flat-irons it once or twice a week, which would also destroy my hair as I used to do it once or twice a month, and my ends turned to Velcro so I got a lot cut off. Natural color and air-drying work best for me, so that is what I can recommend. If you were talking to my DD, she could tell you something different.

Bottom line? Do what works best for you. If you run into problems, people here can give you suggestions based on their own experiences, which might not work for you for whatever reason but are worth listening to and considering, especially if hair types are similar.

redneckprincess
May 8th, 2009, 12:01 PM
Yeah, I agree, henna is something to really consider carefully :p. For me, though, it is fantastic, and the slight weight it imparted helps my frizzies lay flat so that they don't need to be blow-fried any longer! So henna has saved me some valuable time AND helped protect by both it's natural conditioning properties/less blow frying.

I dont want to henna, i dont believe i ever said anything about coloring it...im trying to grow out natural color per hubbys request

ktani
May 8th, 2009, 12:02 PM
Perms and straighteners are 2 different kinds of products. Straighteners have a much higher pH and are considered to be more damaging than perms although different products have individual differences. Both products are the same in terms of the potential damage being permanent.

Perms can be used to straighten hair. They are just used without perm rods by being combed through the hair and then neutralized.

enfys
May 8th, 2009, 12:05 PM
I'd be a little worried about one thing no-one's mentioned. You said earlier that you don't remember your hair being past BSL. It's hard to know that you won't want to continue chemical treatments as you get into unknown territory if you head to waist.

You have a good growth rate as it is; soon you will be APL, especially if you are one of these people who get better growth in the summer. To minimise damage I'd avoid chemicals as much as I can. A lot of us wear our hair up daily as a matter of course. Even though you are growing out bleach, that bleach damage is still there, and will be affected and most likely break if you continue any straightening method.

As for your daughter, I'm not a curl so I can't help with that, but I prefer her hair curly and you can tell her I think it's far more beautiful like that. And yeah, I was the kid who was different and stuck out because while everyone else had straighened, damaged, bleached hair which was breaking off at the temples mine was past my rear and brown. It didn't affect me, it made me feel unique and beautiful and brave.

If you wish to see this as an attack so be it.

redneckprincess
May 8th, 2009, 12:05 PM
Im not trying to cause drama or a fight I finally was feeling like I was understood here. Im sorry for all I need to be sorry about...got to run, I'll be back arround later

enfys
May 8th, 2009, 12:07 PM
I dont want to henna, i dont believe i ever said anything about coloring it...im trying to grow out natural color per hubbys request

What is you natural colour? Cassia has a similar effect without leaving the red colour or henna, so maybe look into that.

redneckprincess
May 8th, 2009, 12:09 PM
Perms and straighteners are 2 different kinds of products. Straighteners have a much higher pH and are considered to be more damaging than perms although different products have individual differences. Both products are the same in terms of the potential damage being permanent.

Perms can be used to straighten hair. They are just used without perm rods by being combed through the hair and then neutralized.

thats what I bought

redneckprincess
May 8th, 2009, 12:13 PM
I'd be a little worried about one thing no-one's mentioned. You said earlier that you don't remember your hair being past BSL. It's hard to know that you won't want to continue chemical treatments as you get into unknown territory if you head to waist.

You have a good growth rate as it is; soon you will be APL, especially if you are one of these people who get better growth in the summer. To minimise damage I'd avoid chemicals as much as I can. A lot of us wear our hair up daily as a matter of course. Even though you are growing out bleach, that bleach damage is still there, and will be affected and most likely break if you continue any straightening method.

As for your daughter, I'm not a curl so I can't help with that, but I prefer her hair curly and you can tell her I think it's far more beautiful like that. And yeah, I was the kid who was different and stuck out because while everyone else had straighened, damaged, bleached hair which was breaking off at the temples mine was past my rear and brown. It didn't affect me, it made me feel unique and beautiful and brave.

If you wish to see this as an attack so be it.


Thats wonderful Im glad for YOU it didnt bother you, but it does affect her and as her mother im sick of seeing her crying because of it...and I will do ANYTHING in my power to help her...even if that means a little bit of chemical damage to her hair...we do not color her hair, only this straightner.


Thank you all you for your opinions and I do appricate it or I wouldnt have asked:D

ktani
May 8th, 2009, 12:16 PM
thats what I bought

The damage from a perm does not have to be severe. It would take very careful timing on your part and there are milder perm solutions on the market now that there were years ago.

I would look at other options first, like the styling products in that video. You may be able to control the problem rather than need to alter the hair itself.

Once the hair is chemically altered, the combing problems can be worse, if the hair is in less good condition. There are variables to be considered.

You are doing the right thing by asking questions before going ahead with what you had in mind. The more you know, the better your choice will be.

enfys
May 8th, 2009, 12:19 PM
Thats wonderful Im glad for YOU it didnt bother you, but it does affect her and as her mother im sick of seeing her crying because of it...and I will do ANYTHING in my power to help her...even if that means a little bit of chemical damage to her hair...we do not color her hair, only this straightner.


Thank you all you for your opinions and I do appricate it or I wouldnt have asked:D

So why ask if we'd ever been that girl who stood out if you didn't want to find out if we had?

I hope whatever you use helps but I think it won't solve every problem even if you have straight hair.

Rosepatrice
May 8th, 2009, 12:21 PM
Sorry, I don't have much to say, but I would think any kind of chemical isn't good...

I was just looking at your daughters' hair before the straightener iron and it's so SO thick pretty just the way it is. Maybe you can convice her to leave it that way...its so pretty.

Also, maybe finding other long curly hair people on LHC, and showing their pics to your daughter, telling her how beautiful curly hair is? Maybe try and explain to her that she should make the best of what she has, which is alot, btw...and not try to copy and change her individual characteristics that make her special??There are already too may cookie cutter people out there!!!

MsBubbles
May 8th, 2009, 12:22 PM
were you ever the girl who didnt fit in because of some stupid childish reasion like hair cut/style/leingth or even weight/clothes/whatever ??


Yes. Try having poker-straight, flat hair in 1980's England (spikey punk, or glam-rock hair, anyone?!). Oh and being tall and gangly with sticky out ears, second hand clothes, and shoes that look like boats :D. I wish my Mother had said even one nice thing about the way my hair was naturally, instead complaining about it 'just hanging there', being 'hopeless', and marching me off to the salon at 13 for my first in a long line of disasterous perms. The perms ruined my hair even worse than the so-called 'awful' straightness it was before.

How ironic!! Just depends what decade you're born in, I guess!! Needless to say, my teenage daughter with lovely natural waves straightens the daylights out of her hair.

This is a great place to come to bounce ideas around, so welcome, I hope you stay and I hope you find things that work for you and your daughter's hair.

Elenna
May 8th, 2009, 12:35 PM
Ok My hair is naturally wavy and I can't take it anymore, i hate it!!.... Also my DD/12 wants me do hers again..we could both stand to have it a little straighter right out of the shower....So my question is... is it more damaging to straighten with this chemical perm stuff or to hot flat iron?

As a wavy hair person, I can only agree that some of us want straight(er) hair. Either way chemicals &/or heat do cause damage to hair. You'd end up trimming off a lot of damage which shows up on longer hair. Do you want long hair or straight hair?

A couple of solutions for getting some of the wave out:
- Longer hair does take out some of the waviness.
- When drying your hair, put it up in a ponytail. This helps straighten the hair.
- Cold air blow drying can help.

I've seen some stunning long curly hair here at LHC.

jivete
May 8th, 2009, 12:37 PM
My 13 year old son is a 3b and he hates his curls (gorgeous spirals if you ask me), so I did a reverse perm about 8 months ago. It didn't last. I think like all perms they fall out eventually. Plus it only removed a little of his curl, but not much and not enough to be worth it. A stronger solution might have worked better but since his hair is fine, I imagine it'd just break it off.

I'm trying very hard to get him to take care of his hair and I think it's slowly sinking in. Detangling spray is our best friend.

ktani
May 8th, 2009, 12:38 PM
I do not think that cassia straightens hair and it can take several weeks to wash out if the results are not good but it may be an option as well.

Cassia can add a light blonde colour to hair (which will not show up on darker hair colours) or add red/gold tones, depending on what it is mixed with. To avoid any colour, it is best mixed with distilled water, which has a pH of 7. Cassia is pH sensitive and mixing it with something acid can get it to yield colour. It has been reported to turn hair brassy. Honey lightening can reverse (lighten the added colour) but avoiding the added colour to begin with is best and distilled water used alone to mix with cassia, can do that.

While the reviews are mixed on the No Frizz styling products, the one for straight hair seems to be preferred over the other versions and this post, http://forums.longhaircommunity.com/showpost.php?p=487751&postcount=19, on customer service and ease of removing the products sounds promising. If the products can be used over henna, they should be able to be used over cassia as well.

florenonite
May 8th, 2009, 12:45 PM
yep, her hair is VERY oily and greasy...her hormones are just kicking in and so this is what we have to deal with....and yes I do toll her to CWC, but like i said i dont stand with her in the shower to make sure she does so.

Heh, I'd be surprised if you did by that age! It is a difficult age for haircare, though, my little sister has to wash her hair daily, something that no one else in my family does (we tend to wash every other day, though since I've come here I've stretched that out even more).

I do understand the desire to fit in at that age, though. You said that neither of you have time to straighten her hair in the mornings before school, and that's why you're wanting to chemically straighten her hair. Could she maybe wash her hair early evening, leave it to dry naturally, and then straighten it before bed? It would make it a lot easier in the morning. I don't know how well that would work, though; I've heard of girls that age who can't wash their hair in the evening because it'll be greasy by the following afternoon.

SheWolf
May 8th, 2009, 12:59 PM
For the girl's curly head, obviously you're dealing with adolescent angst as well. Personally I would tell HER to straighten it herself, my nieces are 11 and 13 and they both do that themselves.
Give her a gentle, frequent wash shampoo, a good conditioner and a styling creme.
Eventually she'll either become very self sufficient with her hair or realise that it's not worth the trouble and embrace her curls.

For you, if you really want to grow it, I would say stop messing with it (I've been there, many of us have, we know what it's like) and put it in updos for now. Once your hair has regained its health and grown, trim the ends only and enjoy.

Please do not think that not hearing what you want = anyone here wanting you to leave. But understand that in growing hair out, there is an awkward, frustrating period for everyone.
I grew out a pixie, I can't begin to tell you how much I hated the mid growth stage.
Now I'm growing out bangs and layers, the other day I was ready to chop them all off again, lol. I didn't.
My solution for now is to use a ton of leave in before blow drying on cool setting.
It's not perfect, but if I partially airdry first, it minimizes blowdrying time, and with the conditioner, it minimizes the damage as well.
Some days I force myself to airdry all the way then reshape my bangs with the cool set blowdrier.
It's not perfect, it's time consuming, it's a giant PITA.

And there's no alternative, we all go through that, that's why we all get so excited posting pics and gushing over each other's pics when we reach a milestone, we all know the amount of work and level of patience & frustration it takes.

So c'mon... join the club. You're in good company! Whine and b!tch and tantrum and rejoice and celebrate with everybody. We're all stark raving nuts about hair and we all have moments where we're convinced that the hair gods are bullying us just for fun.

Until... Until we reach a milestone and then everything is wonderful again.

Condition the hell out of your hair and tie it up. It'll feel cooler during summer, too. In the fall it'll be gorgeous. :)

ktani
May 8th, 2009, 01:06 PM
This, http://livingproof.com/NoFrizz.php is easier to follow than the video. When you click on a product, it gives you detailed options (video or pictures), and lists ingredients. It goes by hair thickness as well as hair type or desired hair type. The ones for curly or wavy hair are designed to enhance waves and curls. You can always blow dry your hair on low heat with it for really straight hair but it sounds as if the products will work well without heat to make the hair easier to comb by reducing friction, which sounds like a huge part of your and your daughter's problem.

melrose1985
May 8th, 2009, 01:18 PM
I agree with some other people here with that if you (or DD) are looking for straight hair then do it.

If you ware looking for long hair then don’t.

I chemically straighten my hair last August. It was pass my collar bone when i did it (because i permed my hair) and after it was done my hair (i kid you not) look like pizza cheese. You know when you get a nice hot pizza and you pick some cheese off of it and the cheese stretches for miles.... that was my hair. I had to cut it off in a bob to get rid of the damage. And even still there will be more damage (that is better now that i baby my hair) that will have to come off.

Whatever you do, best of luck!

florenonite
May 8th, 2009, 01:20 PM
Oh, one thing I just remembered with regards to chemically straightening your daughter's hair: curly hair tends to be fine, and fine hair is in general more fragile than coarser hair. Just something to bear in mind; I'm sure your daughter would rather have curly hair than no hair!

spidermom
May 8th, 2009, 01:25 PM
http://i25.photobucket.com/albums/c79/spidermom/BOONEW.jpg
Whaddaya mean embrace my natural texture?

This was how my hair looked air-dried after about 1 year of growing from a very short pixie. The curling iron and blow-drier were my friends back in those days. By the time my hair was lower BSL, I had to cut back to APL (6 inches) because of the damage, but it was totally worth it to get through this awkward stage. (color courtesy of henna - bleh!)

My hair was also air-dried in the sig pic. What a difference length makes!

florenonite
May 8th, 2009, 01:27 PM
http://i25.photobucket.com/albums/c79/spidermom/BOONEW.jpg
Whaddaya mean embrace my natural texture?

This was how my hair looked air-dried after about 1 year of growing from a very short pixie. The curling iron and blow-drier were my friends back in those days. By the time my hair was lower BSL, I had to cut back to APL (6 inches) because of the damage, but it was totally worth it to get through this awkward stage. (color courtesy of henna - bleh!)

My hair was also air-dried in the sig pic. What a difference length makes!

HAHAHA! I've seen you pull out this pic a couple times, and every time I can't help laughing, though I think it's the expression on your face that does it, not the hair :p

enfys
May 8th, 2009, 01:28 PM
Spidermom, I love you!

Was that posed or a candid shot? Heehee

ktani
May 8th, 2009, 01:29 PM
Natural hair texture does respond to chemicals differently, whether the chemicals are perms, straighteners or colouring and lightening products.

"Fine hair can be damaged easily .... compared to thicker or coarser hair. Penetration of chemicals and products occurs faster on fine hair due ... fact that fine hair has less cuticle layers .... sometimes the layers themselves are thinner."
Coarse hair is larger in diameter. Coarse hair will have more cuticle layers .... sometimes the layers themselves can be thicker. This type of hair .... sometimes more resistant to haircolor and decolorization products." (http://www.geocities.com/HotSprings/4266/color.html)

"About the author" (http://www.geocities.com/HotSprings/4266/rec.html)

wintersun99
May 8th, 2009, 01:34 PM
Spidermom - I love that! Each time you bust it out, I crack up. It's always such the opportune moment, too!

spidermom
May 8th, 2009, 01:37 PM
HAHAHA! I've seen you pull out this pic a couple times, and every time I can't help laughing, though I think it's the expression on your face that does it, not the hair :p

After my 13-year-old niece had fun applying the makeup, she said "smile". (something wrong with my smile?)

florenonite
May 8th, 2009, 01:38 PM
After my 13-year-old niece had fun applying the makeup, she said "smile". (something wrong with my smile?)

Sorry, thought it was a grimace :o Either that or pretending to be a fierce lion :p

spidermom
May 8th, 2009, 01:42 PM
That was what I'd have to call a "rip out your throat" smile.

florenonite
May 8th, 2009, 01:45 PM
That was what I'd have to call a "rip out your throat" smile.

*snorf*

It's really hard to yawn whilst laughing. Maybe that'll teach me to get more sleep :rolleyes:

marialena
May 8th, 2009, 01:46 PM
Ok My hair is naturally wavy and I can't take it anymore, i hate it!! So I bought a store bought (white people) chemical hair straightner, so I dont have to use my flat iron every day to achive straighter hair. Once it gets to between APL/BSL It wont bother me anymore. I did this for the first time in 10 years (basically because I forgot they made it, lol) at the begining of january. It took out quite a bit of the curl took me from a almost a C to mid-B.

Also my DD/12 wants me do hers again..we could both stand to have it a little straighter right out of the shower...HER: she dosnt take care of her hair well enough just yet to keep it as (3c/3b) curly as it is naturally. We will both (once past BSL) be able to handle growing it natural, but right now its just to short to be this curly. (i put some of her pics up on a new pic album I just created check em out..)

So my question is... is it more damaging to straighten with this chemical perm stuff or to hot flat iron?

There's no worse. BOTH OF THEM will destroy your hair.
Why don't you love a little more your hair they way they are?? Why??? :confused:

spidermom
May 8th, 2009, 01:51 PM
There's no worse. BOTH OF THEM will destroy your hair.
Why don't you love a little more your hair they way they are?? Why??? :confused:

Did you see the way my hair looked during its awful growing-out stage? If not, go back a page. Would you have told me to love my hairs they way they were? Sometimes natural hair can look just plain awful, and if that's the way OP feels about hers, she should do what makes her feel better. Do you not agree?

ktani
May 8th, 2009, 01:51 PM
There's no worse. BOTH OF THEM will destroy your hair.
Why don't you love a little more your hair they way they are?? Why??? :confused:

It can be really hard to embrace one's natural hair until the right products are found to deal with it at various growth stages. Even then, some people simply look better with a different hair colour or texture or curl pattern or lack of it, than they naturally have. I see nothing wrong with that. It is personal choice.

MyFireElf
May 8th, 2009, 02:19 PM
Wow, I finally made it through the thread! :D

redneckprincess, you've already heard from everyone else how damaging your straghtening options are and how you should embrace your natural hair... but those may not be the best options for you. If you're straightening your hair knowing the risks and choosing it anyway, that's your right and (I'm trying to think how to say this without sounding combative, but I don't think it's working), it's really not our place to tell you you're wrong (over and over...). By the third page of the thread even I was starting to be like "Dudes, ease up!", so I can totally see how you were feeling attacked even though everyone here is really really nice and meaning to be helpful.

Personally I think your better bet is to go with the perm chemical - get all the damage over in one session and then baby the heck out of your hair with good proteins and moisturizers! As your hair gets longer and the weight starts to hold it down you can start trimming off the damage. It'll take a long time, but it seems that for you, you'll like it better in the meantime this way, and isn't this site about getting hair you love as well as length?

As for your daughter, puberty and high school are hard enough without forcing yourself to try and love something that bothers you that you can fix. My only concerd would be wondering if the chemicals are too harsh for a twelve-year-old? Before putting it on her hair you'll probably want to check with a stylist or something to make sure it's safe for her? And who knows, maybe as she grows older she'll change her mind and decide to embrace her curly self.

After all, it's hair. It grows back. :eyebrows:

LadyEliza
May 8th, 2009, 03:09 PM
One thing that many of us here have found out the hard way...

If you want beautiful, healthy, LONG hair, you have to learn to love your hair the way that it is NATURALLY.

As soon as you start saying that you hate your natural hair type and you want it different warning bells go off.

Changing your hair drastically with heat or chemicals is going to damage it. Damaged hair will never grow or look beautiful.

Decide if you want ultra modern, chemically treated, pink, blue, green or striped hair that is full of chemicals and ironed daily, or decide if you want beautiful long natural hair like you see in the photos of the people here.

You really can't have both.

Rohele
May 8th, 2009, 03:17 PM
By the third page of the thread even I was starting to be like "Dudes, ease up!", so I can totally see how you were feeling attacked even though everyone here is really really nice and meaning to be helpful.

Sigh, yes, I just read through the thread and realized how b!tchy I sounded in my posts, so please accept my apologies.:flowers: Please don't feel as if you have to leave. Many of us have been where you are, and have been very frustrated with our hair and are dealing with damaged bits to boot - our motivation is just to try and make the growing process easier for you.

ktani
May 8th, 2009, 03:25 PM
I completely disagree that you cannot have beautiful, healthy hair with chemicals.

There are many here who conventionally colour their hair and occassionally flat iron and blowdry and still have gorgeous hair.

There are ways to minimize damage to hair and it is about what you are comfortable with.

Just approach the whole thing carefully, whatever you decide.

Dez
May 8th, 2009, 03:27 PM
My personal experience with chemical hair straighteners is that they don't work exactly the way you think. My aunt was a stylist and all through high school i got free hair cuts, colors etc. I always straightened my hair with a hair straightener and got bored of that. So we used a perm solution and combed combed combed to make it straight. But it still did not dry and look like how i wanted to look. We never used a relaxer, my aunt said it would be way too damaging. I wanted it to look like i just straightened it with a hair iron. So since it didn't look like that i STILL had to straighten it with the hair iron. So i had all that damage for nothing. Looking back my prettiest pictures are the ones where i embraced the curlies. I ended up getting really bored with straightening my hair everyday so i only did it every few days and the in between days I used a great gel/mousse/hairspray combination. I always hated my hair... but you know what? I got alot of compliments. I remember a boy asking me if i wore a wig, i told him of course not why? he said i always had a different style every day and it always looked so great. none of the other girls did so many different things so he thought it had to be a wig. that has stuck with me. Some of my styles were acheived with a curling iron, or straight iron, or just product. But the easiest and less time consuming were being more natural.

I don't have any advice for your hair, you do what you want you're spending the time. But i think the best thing you can do for your daughter is show her how to do her own hair. I would say no chemicals just because of my own personal experience. but if she wants to straighten it everyday then your daughter can be responsible enough to get up an hour earlier and do her own hair. If it's worth it she'll keep with it and grow more into the independence she needs to learn anyway. and if she decided it's too much effort then you do a little research and find some good curl activating gel, mousse, conditioner and help her learn about the care for curly hair. It will help her hair look good, will help control it. I've always loved curly hair...on other peopleLOL My hair is more wavy now and so even more a source of frustration, thanks pregnancy hormones for changing my hair :rolleyes:

Pegasus Marsters
May 8th, 2009, 03:46 PM
I completely disagree that you cannot have beautiful, healthy hair with chemicals.


Ahem. *points to signature picture* ;)

To the OP... are you sure this is the best lesson to teach your daughter? I think, perhaps unintentionally, the message you're giving her is that she should change herself to please others, which is ridiculous. And if she's being bullied for her hair then, guess what? Straightening will not fix it, they will find something else about her to target. That's what bullies do. How about doing something about the bullies, rather than making your daughter change to please them?

misspriss
May 8th, 2009, 03:53 PM
My younger sister has 3a/3b hair, she is 14. She plays basketball and gets sweaty and greasy, and CO works fine for her. It did take some adjustment, but you can get your scalp used to it, it just takes time.

My hair was not as greasy in high school, and I'm more of a 2c than a 3a, although I was curlier back then. I CO'd almost exclusively in high school, even when I was a greasy teenager.

I know both would be damaging. But I used to straghten my hair quite often, and I didn't suffer too badly because of it. I would encourage you to help you daughter EMBRACE her curly hair, because by encouraging her to change it, you are only setting her up to regret it her entire life. 12 is an impressionable age. If she learns now that curly hair is bad and she should change it, she might hate her hair for the rest of her life. But if you teach her (by example and by words) to love her natural hair, she would have a better chance of a healthy self image as she grows.

I know she has influences at school, but you are her ultimate example, as her mother. She looks to you and your self image when establishing her own. If she sees you being unhappy with your curly/wavy hair, she will probably dislike hers as well. Do you want your beautiful DD to grow up disliking how she naturally is? Always feeling she needs to change who she is in order to be happy with her look?

Just my two cents.

misspriss
May 8th, 2009, 03:54 PM
To the OP... are you sure this is the best lesson to teach your daughter? I think, perhaps unintentionally, the message you're giving her is that she should change herself to please others, which is ridiculous.

I was posting the same thing while you did!

Oh and my hair is colored and highlighted constantly, I'm never happy with the color and use permant color quite often, and my hair is great condition.

Magicknthenight
May 8th, 2009, 04:31 PM
I've never had a perm but i have seen the effects on others. And it did damage their hair. Though my sister that straightens hers everyday seems more damaged. I personally wouldn't advice you to get one while growing it as the damage will have to be cut off and you'll end up having to regrow back. However why care for your hair so much and go to great lengths for it if your not enjoying it?? And if its making you seriously unhappy then go for it because in the end its about making you happy.
oh also it seemed like the more moisture i gave my hair the straighter it became. While natural it was wavier. Just thought I'd throw that out there :)

Fractalsofhair
May 8th, 2009, 05:08 PM
Blowdrying my hair and bleaching it once caused a lot of damage to my very fine hair. Heat and chemicals do damage hair and I think that that's worse the longer it gets. However, for your daughter, if she's not planning on growing it past chin length, she should be fine with w/e chemicals you use. (Based on my hair, which gets damaged easily) Nearly all other people would be fine with longer hair with that, but I really doubt you could get your hair to your waist if you use any chemicals really. It's possible I'm sure. For getting rid of a slight wave and curls, I can comb my hair while it dries frequently, but I totally know what you mean about the lack of time. I like my faint waves/ringlets that appear sometimes, but my family, especially extended, loathes them. A blow drier might work well for that. For greasy teenage hair, I'm not the best to act, but my scalp does often smell off. Spritzing it with purfume can help, along with washing daily with a gentle shampoo. I suggest using a good conditioner and a very mild shampoo. Try it over the summer when she's not in school, so she doesn't have to worry about getting made fun of during the phase when you reduce shampooing. Natural products tend to work very well for me, but they can get pricey. If you mist down your hair at night and pin it in bobby pin curls, brushing them out leaves a very pretty wave, subtle, but very pretty! I strongly suggest you talk to the school if she gets bullied about her appearance. It rarely works, but sometimes it does, and when it does, it stops the issue. My boyfriend has very curly hair, thick and coarse(he often refuses to use conditioner since he hates the smell of the kind his mother gets... I know what I'm getting him for his birthday! XD) , and he just let it grow to his shoulders, and it seems to be fine, doesn't look to great a lot of the time, but it's not fried. You don't have to "manage" curly hair by straightening it or by any special products other than a bit of conditioner to make it look pretty. The issue with brushing while dry is that it frizzes up the curls. A wide toothed comb or one of those brushes with plastic pegs as opposed to bristles tends to help with that. Combing out hair with a pick while wet worked for my mother who has very curly hair as well. Not sure about the type, but fine ringlets, but very very defined corkscrews. Very fine hair though. If it bothers you to have waves when it's growing out, straighten it as rarely as you have to, and use tons of conditioner. Letting it air dry and then using a hot iron would probably be less damaging since it's less heat over all. But blowdrying for a very short amount of time at the end of air drying should be fine. Also, you might be able to get away with just straightening the tips of your hair, as opposed to the whole length. I'd strongly suggest trying that. Chemical damage tends to wreak my hair more than heat damage, but it probably varies person to person.

redneckprincess
May 8th, 2009, 05:25 PM
Heh, I'd be surprised if you did by that age! It is a difficult age for haircare, though, my little sister has to wash her hair daily, something that no one else in my family does (we tend to wash every other day, though since I've come here I've stretched that out even more).

I do understand the desire to fit in at that age, though. You said that neither of you have time to straighten her hair in the mornings before school, and that's why you're wanting to chemically straighten her hair. Could she maybe wash her hair early evening, leave it to dry naturally, and then straighten it before bed? It would make it a lot easier in the morning. I don't know how well that would work, though; I've heard of girls that age who can't wash their hair in the evening because it'll be greasy by the following afternoon.

no because she sweats and gets it tied up and wavy again by morning...

redneckprincess
May 8th, 2009, 05:29 PM
Oh, one thing I just remembered with regards to chemically straightening your daughter's hair: curly hair tends to be fine, and fine hair is in general more fragile than coarser hair. Just something to bear in mind; I'm sure your daughter would rather have curly hair than no hair!
actually....she said she would rather be bald, she could use wigs, lol...Im not going that extreme ha ha. she is happy with her APL straight hair. so Im happy....Im adding a new pic of her in her album {after the newest chemical straightner of this afternoon} check it out if you want
and no her hair is VERY course so im sure it can handle it, thanks!! ♥

redneckprincess
May 8th, 2009, 05:32 PM
http://i25.photobucket.com/albums/c79/spidermom/BOONEW.jpg
Whaddaya mean embrace my natural texture?

This was how my hair looked air-dried after about 1 year of growing from a very short pixie. The curling iron and blow-drier were my friends back in those days. By the time my hair was lower BSL, I had to cut back to APL (6 inches) because of the damage, but it was totally worth it to get through this awkward stage. (color courtesy of henna - bleh!)

My hair was also air-dried in the sig pic. What a difference length makes!

we dont blow-fry, even on cold, never, never, never the only reasion I own a blow drier it to thaw the freezer when needed, lol. I fully agree and know that when I reach my second mini goal I will be going right back to the first BS-APL. and YES it will be totally worth it to me to look in the mirroe and love what I see
Thank you ♥

Tap Dancer
May 8th, 2009, 05:38 PM
As of right now, I've only read the first post. Chemicals are much more damaging, but using heat daily isn't good for your hair, either. What's wrong with some waves and even a little frizz? A ponytail (or other hairstyle) can help with that. ;) Or try washing your hair in the late afternoon. If you let it air dry and sleep on it, it helps flatten it some. Sorry if my ideas don't sound so great. I'd just hate to see you ruin your hair with chemicals.

redneckprincess
May 8th, 2009, 05:39 PM
Wow, I finally made it through the thread! :D

redneckprincess, you've already heard from everyone else how damaging your straghtening options are and how you should embrace your natural hair... but those may not be the best options for you. If you're straightening your hair knowing the risks and choosing it anyway, that's your right and (I'm trying to think how to say this without sounding combative, but I don't think it's working), it's really not our place to tell you you're wrong (over and over...). By the third page of the thread even I was starting to be like "Dudes, ease up!", so I can totally see how you were feeling attacked even though everyone here is really really nice and meaning to be helpful.

Personally I think your better bet is to go with the perm chemical - get all the damage over in one session and then baby the heck out of your hair with good proteins and moisturizers! As your hair gets longer and the weight starts to hold it down you can start trimming off the damage. It'll take a long time, but it seems that for you, you'll like it better in the meantime this way, and isn't this site about getting hair you love as well as length?

As for your daughter, puberty and high school are hard enough without forcing yourself to try and love something that bothers you that you can fix. My only concerd would be wondering if the chemicals are too harsh for a twelve-year-old? Before putting it on her hair you'll probably want to check with a stylist or something to make sure it's safe for her? And who knows, maybe as she grows older she'll change her mind and decide to embrace her curly self.

After all, it's hair. It grows back. :eyebrows:

Thank you... thats all I really have left to say is thank you♥

I have used this same straight-perm a few months ago, her hair is very corse and thick, she can handle it, and Im hoping yes when she is older she will love her natural hair and grow it as is but right now this is what she wants....give me a sec to respond to everyone and ill add her updated pic {after chem straight♥

redneckprincess
May 8th, 2009, 05:42 PM
Sigh, yes, I just read through the thread and realized how b!tchy I sounded in my posts, so please accept my apologies.:flowers: Please don't feel as if you have to leave. Many of us have been where you are, and have been very frustrated with our hair and are dealing with damaged bits to boot - our motivation is just to try and make the growing process easier for you.

I appricate that and yes I do

feralnature
May 8th, 2009, 05:47 PM
I'm only posting because I finally made it through this thread. All I have to say is that you "can't have it all" and also Spidermom I love you in that crazy pic!

redneckprincess
May 8th, 2009, 05:47 PM
Ahem. *points to signature picture* ;)

To the OP... are you sure this is the best lesson to teach your daughter? I think, perhaps unintentionally, the message you're giving her is that she should change herself to please others, which is ridiculous. And if she's being bullied for her hair then, guess what? Straightening will not fix it, they will find something else about her to target. That's what bullies do. How about doing something about the bullies, rather than making your daughter change to please them?

no one bullies her, she just wants to fit in by her own means, and I am by no means MAKING her change I am rather allowing it.
thank you for your input ♥

misspriss
May 8th, 2009, 05:47 PM
As for your daughter, puberty and high school are hard enough without forcing yourself to try and love something that bothers you that you can fix. :eyebrows:

I disagree. Her hair will ALWAYS be her hair. She can change it after it comes out of her head, but it will always be a struggle. What you learn at this age is so hard to change. If she learns to be unhappy with herself at this age, when is she going to decide she is not unhappy anymore? It doesn't just magically happen. With all the self esteem issues people have, encouraging someone to be unhappy with themselves and change is not a good idea.

Any fix is just a temporary fix. She can't fix it, it's her hair, the way it grows out of her own head. What you are saying is that she shouldn't learn to love her own self, because she can love something else and make herself look like that. That sets you up for a world of dissapointment later in life.

shaybabe8604
May 8th, 2009, 05:55 PM
I don't know if the difference between white people kind and black people kind (for lack of better terminology, haha) is significant, but with the relaxers I put in my hair prior to my big chop, they created waaay more of a maintenance problem than natural hair does because the chemicals made it so much more vulnerable to damage.

Because relaxers do permanently break down chemical bonds which cause the wave/curl pattrern in the hair, the only way to get rid of the relaxed hair is to cut it off (or watch in terror as it breaks as in my case). So I don't know if you would slowly trim off the ends bit by bit once it got to your desired length or what, but I know cutting off that much hair on purpose would drive me nuts!

If you do decide to use the straightener I would be extra careful. And I'd be weary about using chemicals on DD's hair if she doesnt take very good care of it because lack of maintenance is not an option when your hair is chemically processed (if you still want to have healthy hair). I did not know the "maintenance requirements" of having relaxed hair when I got my first one at age 16 and as a result I suffered MAJOR breakage (BSL to shoulder length in a matter of months) simply because I didn't know what I was supposed to do with it. Of course this rambling could potentially not apply since I'm sure the relaxers marketed to those with tighter curl patterns are probably much harsher than the one you purchased...

Either way I wish you success and happy (stress free) growing!

shaybabe8604
May 8th, 2009, 06:03 PM
Oh and have you tried setting it on big rollers and sitting under a hooded dryer? The indirect heat is much less damaging than flat ironing. Also, there are different methods for wrapping the hair listed on the site which allows the roller set to last a little longer. When I relaxed my hair I used to set it on the biggest rollers possible after washing and wrap it when I slept and when I worked out which would keep it fairly straight throughout the week. Of course my hair type lets me get away with weekly washing, and I suppose this method would be time-consuming if you wash every day.....

redneckprincess
May 8th, 2009, 06:05 PM
got her new pic up, if you dont like it I'm sorry but thats your problem, she loves it and thats all I care about....
and I am just ignoring anyone who sounds like they are just attacking me, its not worth it to even respond... you probally dont even have children.
and a big FAT thank you to those who understand ♥

misspriss
May 8th, 2009, 06:07 PM
I hope you don't think I'm attacking you, I am just offering my two cents.

No I do not have children, but I was not very long (at all!) ago a 12 year old with curly hair. I have a 14 year old little sister (with curlier hair). I think I have valid standing to offer my opinions. I never meant to be offensive or attacking. If anything, I might have been offensive to other posters, but not yourself.

ETA: I damp bun to produce loose waves, as opposed to curls. I wash my hair at night and bun over night. It is straight on top, and loose waves on the bottom. See my avvy for this kind of effect, although it usually looks less fluffy (it was JUST washed in that pic).

Silver & Gold
May 8th, 2009, 06:31 PM
I hate to tell you this but the road you are taking will lead you to have to chop off all this hair as it gets longer. The damage just keeps building up as the hair becomes older and older. This is what has stalled my growth over the past year.

My damage came from semi-permanent color and lots of flat-iron and other heat styling use. I finally had to come to peace with my real hair and learn to work with the curl I have. I pin it up and back when I'm having a 'bad hair day' and do my best to forget about it.

The payoff has been that finally my hair is healthy and getting long enough for the curl to look nicer and yet I still have about another years worth of growth to go until I will like wearing it down more. Until then, hairstick buns and ponytails are my best friend.

I understand why you are making the choices you are making because I was doing it for the same reason. But do your best to learn to wean yourself from anything, chemical or heat to straighten your hair. The sooner you can step away from these things the sooner you will get the length you want. It's that or accept that you'll end up losing almost as much ground as you gain over the next couple of years.

wintersun99
May 8th, 2009, 06:35 PM
got her new pic up, if you dont like it I'm sorry but thats your problem, she loves it and thats all I care about....
and I am just ignoring anyone who sounds like they are just attacking me, its not worth it to even respond... you probally dont even have children.
and a big FAT thank you to those who understand ♥

I thought it had been clearly established that nobody is attacking anybody on this thread? :confused:

Silver & Gold
May 8th, 2009, 06:39 PM
I just wanted to add that I didn't bother to read the thread, I probably should have. But after I posted I looked back just a couple of pages and got the impression that you were really hit hard with advice similar to mine. Sorry if my last post was overkill.

It's just that if I could go back in time I would do things differently for my hair and I suppose I was trying to save you some of the grief I've gone through. But we all have to live with our hair as it is today. If it's simply unbearable for you then I certainly understand your choice. As I've said, I made similar choices for the same reasons.

Anyway, my main reason to add a post is just to say that you need to take the best care of your hair that you can if you want to grow it long and not lose the length to damage. But sometimes when your hair is very short or you are growing out color (another part of my journey) you have to do what you can do to make your hair look presentable today. I suppose it's a balancing act and nothing comes for free. You have to decide what you can live with.

SheWolf
May 8th, 2009, 06:54 PM
I thought it had been clearly established that nobody is attacking anybody on this thread? :confused:

It's not attacking... unless others do it. ;)

ktani
May 8th, 2009, 07:02 PM
I have lost track and I read every post, lol.

Whatever you choose, at least you now have more information to do it with.

Perms, straighteners and henna are permanent.

Chemical damage can be minimized but I still think that you could try non chemical options first.

It is your decision and your daughter's too, no one else's.

Good luck with whatever you do. The No Frizz products to not have to be used with heat.

MotherConfessor
May 8th, 2009, 07:37 PM
Hey, hey, guys, its ok. No reason for anyone to get all bent out of shape. Thank you so much spidermom for being the voice of reason here. As far as any attacking, I must admit that I understand why Redneckprincess would feel that way. The advice got a bit on the harsh side, particularly for this forum. On the other hand,Redneckprincess, please try to understand that feelings on this subject tend to run a little high. For many of us embracing our natural hair has subjected us to alot of attack and negativety and we tend to react rather strongly. However, it we would all do well to remeber that OP did not ask for our advice on chemicals or natural hair in general, just on which would be less damaging.

Since you have already picked one and seem to be happy with the results, I would just suggest babying the heck out of it. Plenty of protein and tons of moisture. Happy hair!

Rosepatrice
May 8th, 2009, 07:42 PM
What do you mean by pleanty of protein?

MotherConfessor
May 8th, 2009, 07:47 PM
By the way, I was that girl with the frizzy curly rats nest of hair (believe me, it was bad. Awful. I have personally destroyed the evidence awful). I just couldn't be bothered to straighten it either and worse, I did not know how to take care of it. I am glad she is feeling better about herself. If she ever feels like trying her natural hair again (once again. I get it. It took me a long time to just stop hating my natural hair, even longer to learn to love it.) just let her know that her natural hair does not need to be a frizzy rats nest. All she has to know is how to take care of it. If nothing else, I would be happy to post a pic of what my hair used to look like compared to how it looks when I take care of it right.

Not that she should go curly, I just thought she should know she has options other than frizzy rats nest.

Once again, I say this only because I lived it. All through high school I lived it. ugh.

MotherConfessor
May 8th, 2009, 07:50 PM
Protein (in moderate amounts and balanced with tons of moisture) can help damaged hair a good bit. When we put egg and certain oils in our hair we add protein. Alot of "damage control" hair products loads up on protein.

Its important to add that some peoples hair hates protein, and that too much on anyone's hair can cause some problems. Its really important to balance it with lots of moisture.

Roseate
May 8th, 2009, 07:51 PM
Sounds like you've decided on the perm, but won't that leave you with permanently straight ends that you'll have to grow out when you want to return to your natural texture? (I think you did say you want to go natural after BSL, yes?) It might be awkward to get stuck with half-straight, half-wavy hair.

The last time I grew my hair out I was straightening it with a flatiron about once a week. My hair is coarse and very resistant to heat and I was able to grow it to waist without much damage, trimming twice a year. Everybody's hair reacts differently, though. Since I'd like to maximize the health of my hair, and possibly go longer, I've put away the iron this time around.

kdaniels8811
May 8th, 2009, 08:22 PM
Wow! I just read this whole thread and the only thing I have to offer is welcome, redneckprincess to you and your daughter. Yes, we have lots of opinions here but they are meant with the best of intentions. The goal is long healthy hair and many of us have made major changes in our hair care regeim (tired, cannot spell) to be able to grow our hair out. You will get lots and lots of advice and good information here so welcome to the boards.

florenonite
May 9th, 2009, 03:06 AM
I don't have any advice for your hair, you do what you want you're spending the time. But i think the best thing you can do for your daughter is show her how to do her own hair. I would say no chemicals just because of my own personal experience. but if she wants to straighten it everyday then your daughter can be responsible enough to get up an hour earlier and do her own hair. If it's worth it she'll keep with it and grow more into the independence she needs to learn anyway. and if she decided it's too much effort then you do a little research and find some good curl activating gel, mousse, conditioner and help her learn about the care for curly hair. It will help her hair look good, will help control it. I've always loved curly hair...on other peopleLOL My hair is more wavy now and so even more a source of frustration, thanks pregnancy hormones for changing my hair :rolleyes:

My wee sister got a flatiron when she was thirteen, and for about a year she'd get up at twenty to six in the morning (she had to leave by ten to seven to catch a bus) to flatiron her hair every couple of days, and her hair's not even curly :p (it's about 2a/2b). I hear she's gotten lazy lately, and I'm just thankful she won't be banging the straighteners down on the vanity in the bathroom right beside my bedroom at some ridiculous hour anymore.


actually....she said she would rather be bald, she could use wigs, lol...Im not going that extreme ha ha. she is happy with her APL straight hair. so Im happy....Im adding a new pic of her in her album {after the newest chemical straightner of this afternoon} check it out if you want
and no her hair is VERY course so im sure it can handle it, thanks!! ♥

Heh, that's the first time I've heard someone that age say that; when I was that age I would have been distraught to lose my hair (still would, in fact).

And her hair looks lovely now, and doesn't look like it's been damaged.


got her new pic up, if you dont like it I'm sorry but thats your problem, she loves it and thats all I care about....
and I am just ignoring anyone who sounds like they are just attacking me, its not worth it to even respond... you probally dont even have children.
and a big FAT thank you to those who understand ♥

Ok, I seriously lose all respect for people who pull this card. If someone doesn't have children, does that mean they don't know what it's like to love someone so much that their happiness is paramount to their own? The bond between parent and child is a very special one, yes, but many childless people have parents whom they love dearly, or siblings who are almost like children to them. Saying "you don't have children, you don't understand" is condescending and élitist, like saying "I'm a parent, I'm so much more capable of love than you".

If one of my sisters came home from school crying because she was being bullied, I would be devastated. I'm very overprotective of my wee sisters. I don't know if you have siblings, but the bond between siblings is very strong and special, just like the bond between parent and child, but I don't go around saying "you don't have sisters, you don't understand". Rather, I accept that they might understand differently, for instance rather than a sister a friend, or a significant other. There are so many different ways in which love is manifested that you cannot pretend that the love you share with someone else is any better or stronger than the love shared between two other people.

"Hand in glove / The sun shines out of our behinds / No it's not like any other love / This one is different because it's ours." These lyrics (from Hand in Glove, by The Smiths) epitomise the attitude that I cannot stand. Here it's tongue-in-cheek, because you cannot argue that your love is any better than anyone else's. Maybe I should start going around saying that my platonic relationship with a male friend of mine is so much stronger than any romantic relationship and that people who don't have such a friendship wouldn't understand how I feel about him. That would be ridiculous, no?

Or maybe someone might tell me that I can't say he's like a brother to me, because even though I have sisters I haven't any brothers, and therefore how can I know? See, it's ridiculous to negate someone's feelings simply because they don't have the exact same kind of bond with someone as you do.

Chanterelle
May 9th, 2009, 03:25 AM
Ok My hair is naturally wavy and I can't take it anymore, i hate it!!

I can hear you. I can hardly embrace my waves either.


So my question is...[COLOR=#800080] is it more damaging to straighten with this chemical perm stuff or to hot flat iron?

How often do you wash your hair? I guess unless you're going to use flat iron every day, it's less damaging than the chemical stuff.
I used to flat iron once a week and my hair is OK and it's below BSL at the moment. Once I tried chemical perm it nearly ruined my hair.

You could also try straightening hair with a blowdrier and a brush. Depending on humidity where you live it might work as well.

Tap Dancer
May 9th, 2009, 03:45 AM
got her new pic up, if you dont like it I'm sorry but thats your problem, she loves it and thats all I care about....
and I am just ignoring anyone who sounds like they are just attacking me, its not worth it to even respond... you probally dont even have children.
and a big FAT thank you to those who understand ♥

May I ask why you're being so mean and hostile?

Heavenly Locks
May 9th, 2009, 04:00 AM
.
and I am just ignoring anyone who sounds like they are just attacking me, its not worth it to even respond... you probally dont even have children.


Ouch. I might not have children, but I used to be one.

Nat242
May 9th, 2009, 06:12 AM
It's hard to gauge tone and intention on forums sometimes, but Redneck Princess - not hearing what you want to hear doesn't equal an attack.

redneckprincess
May 9th, 2009, 07:27 AM
My wee sister got a flatiron when she was thirteen, and for about a year she'd get up at twenty to six in the morning (she had to leave by ten to seven to catch a bus) to flatiron her hair every couple of days, and her hair's not even curly :p (it's about 2a/2b). I hear she's gotten lazy lately, and I'm just thankful she won't be banging the straighteners down on the vanity in the bathroom right beside my bedroom at some ridiculous hour anymore.



Heh, that's the first time I've heard someone that age say that; when I was that age I would have been distraught to lose my hair (still would, in fact).

And her hair looks lovely now, and doesn't look like it's been damaged.



Ok, I seriously lose all respect for people who pull this card. If someone doesn't have children, does that mean they don't know what it's like to love someone so much that their happiness is paramount to their own? The bond between parent and child is a very special one, yes, but many childless people have parents whom they love dearly, or siblings who are almost like children to them. Saying "you don't have children, you don't understand" is condescending and élitist, like saying "I'm a parent, I'm so much more capable of love than you".

If one of my sisters came home from school crying because she was being bullied, I would be devastated. I'm very overprotective of my wee sisters. I don't know if you have siblings, but the bond between siblings is very strong and special, just like the bond between parent and child, but I don't go around saying "you don't have sisters, you don't understand". Rather, I accept that they might understand differently, for instance rather than a sister a friend, or a significant other. There are so many different ways in which love is manifested that you cannot pretend that the love you share with someone else is any better or stronger than the love shared between two other people.

"Hand in glove / The sun shines out of our behinds / No it's not like any other love / This one is different because it's ours." These lyrics (from Hand in Glove, by The Smiths) epitomise the attitude that I cannot stand. Here it's tongue-in-cheek, because you cannot argue that your love is any better than anyone else's. Maybe I should start going around saying that my platonic relationship with a male friend of mine is so much stronger than any romantic relationship and that people who don't have such a friendship wouldn't understand how I feel about him. That would be ridiculous, no?

Or maybe someone might tell me that I can't say he's like a brother to me, because even though I have sisters I haven't any brothers, and therefore how can I know? See, it's ridiculous to negate someone's feelings simply because they don't have the exact same kind of bond with someone as you do.

yes I do have siblings but the love is far diffrent from loving a child, I in no was said because you dont have children ment you were incapible of that kind of love, so please dont accuse me of doing so...I understand that I can handle a little bit of damage in mine or DDs hair so that what is seen in the mirror is loved, it is not going to stop our hair from becoming as long as anyone elses it will just take that much longer.

redneckprincess
May 9th, 2009, 07:29 AM
I can hear you. I can hardly embrace my waves either.



How often do you wash your hair? I guess unless you're going to use flat iron every day, it's less damaging than the chemical stuff.
I used to flat iron once a week and my hair is OK and it's below BSL at the moment. Once I tried chemical perm it nearly ruined my hair.

You could also try straightening hair with a blowdrier and a brush. Depending on humidity where you live it might work as well.
depends, sometimes only once or twice a week with maybe a CO wash or 2 inbetween, and sometimes every day, just depends..

a blow dryer is far worse on my hair then bleach and chemeccals together, that I gave up several years ago, even before I cared so much about my hair for the long haul

redneckprincess
May 9th, 2009, 07:32 AM
May I ask why you're being so mean and hostile?

I am not at all, and Im sorry if you took it that way

ktani
May 9th, 2009, 07:52 AM
I do not understand this at all. This thread started out with a simple question. Which is more damaging, a straightening perm or using a flat iron?

While both can be damaging, neither is evil. There are many here who use conventional chemicals carefully and have long, gorgeous hair.

There are definitely 2 sides to this, those who perfer gentle, natural methods and those who are more comfortable with and pefer cautious use of other methods.

I see no need for anyone to get intensely personal about this. One's personal life is irrelevant.

This is about personal freedom of choice and asking for opinions, not criticism about the subject matter.

magpielaura
May 9th, 2009, 09:00 AM
Hello redneckprincess!

I'm glad your daughters straightening went well and she likes it. I'm all for trying things out when you are young - it will grow back. If she wanted super-long hair I wouldn't recommend it, but it doesn't seem to be the case so acumulating a bit of damage here and there isn't a problem.

Did you decide to straighten your hair? Try not to feel attacked by peoples reactions here. Many members have been growing a long time, and when you have several years worth of misadventures, experiments and accidents hanging from your head you understand what a nuisance that dye/treatment/bad hairbrush of 3,4,5+ years ago was. We all just want to help! I'm slowly growing out some super-crispy sun damage from about 3 years ago...as these bits near the ends they get worse and worse (I should probably cut a chunk off....nah!) Bear in mind the chemically treated hair will be hanging off the ends of your new growth, and this difference in texture might lead to more frustration later. You might then be tempted to do something else! If you flat iron the bare minimum you can (wash as little as you can, live with crazy hair now and then) you might not damage your hair as much, and won't have a definate line of regrowth that is a different texture. I hope you can find a solution to ease this difficult growing stage without thinking everyone on this site is a nutter!

Flaxen
May 9th, 2009, 09:01 AM
Okay, we're going to let this thread cool off for a while. It may or may not reopen. Thank you, everybody, for all of the tips you've offered so far. :flower: