Negative comments about long hair?

[Longlocks3]

I've had many negative comments about my hair over the course of growing it. Its about tbl and just recently an assistant manager told me "you know how your hair is long and stringy, you should cut it". I was floored! First off, at that job I can't wear my hair down (just braided) so how would she know if it's stringy? Second, that's so uncalled for! I just find it really amazing the vary degrees of comments I get on my hair. No one has ever come up to me about anything else, just my hair. I'll get someone telling me they love my hair and then someone can walk up right behind them and say it's horrible(indirectly).

It's gotten to the point where I wanted to cut my hair to stop the comments! But then I realized thats exactly what the rude people wanted! Long hair is unique!

[marzipanthecat]

You've got the correct attitude! Honestly, if your hair is clean and decent then that assistant manager is just being nasty - as you say, your hair is tied up, so how can they KNOW what it looks like loose?

It all comes down to jealousy, I reckon (this is getting to be a bit of a hobby horse with me...) - people are a bit envious of your hair and just get nasty about it.

If you are happy with it, then don't cut it! And as you say, you get NICE things said too.

[HairColoredHair]

Part of it is society. People are conditioned to think that Long Hair = stringy, broken, and dirty.

Nevermind how right or wrong they are.

Focus on the nicer comments, ignore the bad ones, or just take them the other way round... "You may think my hair is (Whatever) but you DID notice it..."

[Nyghtingale]

The hair in your profile is beautiful!. Don't listen to them.

[hazelnut]

Some people are just stupid. Plain and simple. Don't listen to her. You've got long beautiful hair..... rock what you got! :)

[Longlocks3]

I'm almost overcome by all the positive things! It really makes me want to cry with joy. It's so great to have others telling you not to change and that something important to you is great the way it is. Thanks all.

[Silverlox]

Welcome onboard! :flower:

Your hair looks great! Please learn to ignore these rude comments. They really have no place commenting on your hair, unless it's in the way of your work.

The only reason to cut, should be because you want it shorter, not because of other people's stupid opinions!

The best thing you can do, is to savour every positive comment you get and disregard all the negative ones. :thumbsup:

[FallenAngel]

Seems like many have problems with rude comments about their hair. What is wrong with people?

Have your hair as you like it yourself! The only one who has to like it is you.

[ImperfectBrat]

Ignore them.

People who say negative things like that just want to bring you down to the level they are on. Just take all that anger and such and focus it into keeping your hair as lovely as it is.

[spidermom]

People like that give you the perfect opening to state what you think about their hair. Or shoes. Or whatever catches your eye and curls your lip.

[JamieLeigh]

I've never had anyone say (to my face, or that I've heard of anyway) that there was anything wrong with my hair. I have had my share of "You should totally cut it off and donate it", though, and that to me is rude and negative. It's like saying "You have no business having hair that long when there's a kid somewhere who is bald!" As though my hair would - IN THE HIGHLY UNLIKELY EVENT IT ACTUALLY DOES GO TO A CHILD WHO NEEDS IT - make it all better. :rolleyes:

[MsBubbles]

Well your hair looks gorgeous in your avatar pic.

I notice you're 20? Seems to be an ongoing thing that younger people get 'picked on' more for their appearance, or they are criticized more than someone my age (42). Maybe it's because I'm 5' 10", have frown marks and look mean (especially when I have my hair in a bun) that nobody dares to say I need a hair cut/new shoes without holes in them/new clothes that fit me, etc.

I have observed that a number of women, starting from teenage up through their late thirties, seem to think it's ok to either hurl an outright criticism or dig a nasty jab - disguised as a compliment or concern - to the same age or younger girls. And the younger, more impressionable girls for the most part just stand there and take it!!

Great thing about being older is that I no longer stand there and take it, and so it doesn't take long before people decide not to dole out their 'helpful advice' to me. Thanks, I never asked for it anyway.

ETA: I know you probably couldn't 'talk back' since it was possibly a so called superior talking to you, and I'm glad you have your own strong opinion about your lovely long hair.

Fuming on your behalf...:mad::rant:

[wackyredtangles]

I think that your hair looks very pretty. It looks all soft and shiny, and if you were in person I would nicely ask to play with it.

That being said, I would just point out that its inappropriate for this person you work with to say anything about your appearance that isn't work related. As in, when I worked at a restaurant as a cook, my manager asked me to keep my hair braided or otherwise contained, and to wear a baseball cap. I was in a kitchen, so that was something acceptable to say about my appearance. If I had ever worn sandals I would have expected to be told off for them. Anything personal, and I won't deal with it from work people. Opens too many doors for harassment.

[Curlsgirl]

I've had many negative comments about my hair over the course of growing it. Its about tbl and just recently an assistant manager told me "you know how your hair is long and stringy, you should cut it". I was floored! First off, at that job I can't wear my hair down (just braided) so how would she know if it's stringy? Second, that's so uncalled for! I just find it really amazing the vary degrees of comments I get on my hair. No one has ever come up to me about anything else, just my hair. I'll get someone telling me they love my hair and then someone can walk up right behind them and say it's horrible(indirectly).

It's gotten to the point where I wanted to cut my hair to stop the comments! But then I realized thats exactly what the rude people wanted! Long hair is unique!

I cannot BELIEVE someone would have the nerve to say something like that even if they DID think it!!! :rolleyes: Like others have said from your avatar pic, your hair is beautiful and shiny and I would also agree that the problem could be jealousy. Most people don't have the patience to grow hair that long so they want to make sure no one else does so they aren't competition. :mad: Next time say, "Oh well since YOU don't like it I will certainly cut it then"!! HA!!! Yeah right. :rolleyes:

[3azza]

longlocks3; you have beautiful hair. some people hate long hair for some reason, regardless of how beautiful it is and i don't understand why. I hear these comments too. Although many compliment me for my hair, but some just say it's too long, not damaged or dry or anything, just too long and needs a cut! (although i am only waist length) I don't know what people have against hair length!!!

[natt i nord]

I don't get any REALLY negative comments, but sometimes people look weird when I tell them that I'd like to have hiplenght hair. I'm glad about it...

[jahof45]

Your hair is beautiful! I have to agree with spidermom, ignore the negative comment and turn the tables. It might even teach these boars some manners.

[jera]

The hair in your avatar is awesome :D It's so shiny and healthy and clean looking. I can only guess someone telling you otherwise must be jealous of you. :demon:

I think you're right to totally ignore them.

[tiamimi]

Things like that remind me of one of my favorite quotes- Never let anyone's opinion be your goal-they may not like you. Do what makes you happy when it comes to your hair, it has no adverse effects on anyone else so it's none of their business.

[Fractalsofhair]

Your hair looks wonderful! A lot of people think longer hair is hard to take care of, because it is hard to have hair that's undamaged and long with the common practice of chemical dyes, heavy heat drying and styling, frequent layers and harsh washing daily without conditioner, or else just using a heavy cone styling gel(which may work for some!). I know that my hair is very damaged from heat and bleach and it's only shoulder length. Working on growing it out is tough, since I find I can't just blow dry my hair and have it be fine and I have to plan showers and such. However, the undamaged section feels wonderful! Honestly, a lot of people are mean and might not understand a lot of things about people. She probably thinks you're too lazy or poor to get a haircut, as opposed to taking care of it and growing it out for a reason. It's sad that that stereotype exists, more so for men than women, but most people with longer hair do grow it out for a reason!

[Dorothea]

Wow. Some people have no filter. I am constantly amazed by those who believe they have a right (and a duty) to make negative comments about other people's appearances.

Personally, I think your hair is lovely.

[mira-chan]

Well your hair looks gorgeous in your avatar pic.

I notice you're 20? Seems to be an ongoing thing that younger people get 'picked on' more for their appearance, or they are criticized more than someone my age (42). Maybe it's because I'm 5' 10", have frown marks and look mean (especially when I have my hair in a bun) that nobody dares to say I need a hair cut/new shoes without holes in them/new clothes that fit me, etc.

I have observed that a number of women, starting from teenage up through their late thirties, seem to think it's ok to either hurl an outright criticism or dig a nasty jab - disguised as a compliment or concern - to the same age or younger girls. And the younger, more impressionable girls for the most part just stand there and take it!!

Great thing about being older is that I no longer stand there and take it, and so it doesn't take long before people decide not to dole out their 'helpful advice' to me. Thanks, I never asked for it anyway.

ETA: I know you probably couldn't 'talk back' since it was possibly a so called superior talking to you, and I'm glad you have your own strong opinion about your lovely long hair.

Fuming on your behalf...:mad::rant:
I'm not sure if it's age related as I've not received negative comments, especially such rude ones, about my hair. I apparently don't look approachable, especially with my bun and my relaxed face expression so I guess that keeps the commenters away. I wasn't picked on for appearance in high school either and I had tailbone length hair in a ponytail for most of that time.

I think certain work fields, situations or events lend themselves to letting this commentary happen more often.

[Beatnik Guy]

Your hair? :bigeyes:
:)

[spidermom]

I think there's something to the idea that long hair takes time, patience, and care. Most people want instant gratification, but they're aware that all the bleaching and teasing and flat ironing in the world won't turn heads like long, shiny, beautiful hair. They don't like the competition.

[Themyst]

You have nice looking hair. If she says something about it again, I'd tell her that you don't want short, old lady hair.

That's what most of the older ladies around here wear.:rolleyes: Bleh.

[KiwiLiz]

I have observed that a number of women, starting from teenage up through their late thirties, seem to think it's ok to either hurl an outright criticism or dig a nasty jab - disguised as a compliment or concern - to the same age or younger girls. And the younger, more impressionable girls for the most part just stand there and take it!!

^^ Yes!

I was talking to a teacher that I was quite fond of a few year ago about an issue I was having -I've always been very thin, and it seemed like every one thought it was their place to point this out and ask if I had an eating disorder (I didn't). My teacher said that in recent years young girls are taught about how wonderful it is to express your self -and it is, but it would seem that many have taken it too far, they now think that since they're 'entitled' to their opinion, no matter how trivial or nasty it is, you are also obligated to listen to it and take their advise. She said that teachers and parent don't teach the old idea of "if you've got nothing nice to say, then don't say anything at all", instead it's all about self expression, even at the expense of the feelings of others.

Generally I'll just say "it's interesting that you think that" back to people who make silly, or nasty comments. It seems to confuse them, which is always fun :P

[Rosepatrice]

That statement was totally untrue. Your hair is very pretty!! I know how these comments hurt, though.

:flowers:

[Jessica Trapp]

Your hair looks beautiful in your avatar.

Jes

[Longlocks3]

I do think long hair takes patience and work. All of my friends with short hair go get hair cuts when they get 'bored' with their hair. I was almost talked into perms/coloring/etc. during high school but I realized how uncommon it is for someone to NEVER have their hair permed or colored! I just wish I had never used a blow dryer but I'm a couple years 'dry' (hehehe) of that addiction. After joining this group, I really almost feel that it's like an 'alternative' lifestyle choice? I have made the choice to have long hair and no one can change that! It also is nice to not pay for hair cut all the time as a broke college student! So yes, I do forgo haircuts to save money but even when I get one I never get more than an inch off. One time I had four-five inches taken off and I felt grief. I may have an unhealthy attachment to my hair...and my puppy.....

[enfys]

I read a true story in a magazine when I was a teenager. I can't remember the details, but all I know is she had very long blonde hair, and some bullies called her Alice in Wonderland and teased her for it. She was so upset one night she hacked it off and it was a bob after she got it fixed. The bullies saw her and said "oh, the Alice hair looked much better" and carried on picking on her.

If you listen to one comment she'll feel she can comment on anything.

It could be worse; a customer told me and a colleague that we would go to Hell because we have tattoos. We told her that's what they threatened rock and roll musicains, so Hell was looking to be a pretty cool place.

It was a similar situation, with me it was a customer, with you it was a superior, with both it was out of line on their part.

[melrose1985]

Well that's rude! You hair totally does not look stringy either. I'm not even going to say she jealous of your hair but I think some people just need to ripe others down to feel better about themselves.

Don't cut your hair, I think it looks great.

[AuntyClaus]

If your hair really looked bad, people would feel sorry for you and gently offer suggestions to improve it.

Envy comes out as catty or snarky.

Your hair looks great. She's an envious bitch.

[Torrin Paige]

I'm going to go with envy, also. Clearly your hair is healthy, shiny, and beautiful. That means she's jealous. By making you feel bad, she makes herself feel better. I am saddened on an almost daily basis on the complete lack of manners in this day and age. Everyone is so self-involved that they have no concept of how their words and actions effect other people...it's all about them. MY response when someone makes a negative comment about my appearance? "Well, if I displease you so, why are you looking at me? Avert your eyes, and save yourself the trauma!" That one always gets confused looks...and they never know how to respond. I find it very satisfying. :)

[going gray]

The ladies are 100% correct of course, ignore all those negative comments, they are just jealous, your hair is beautiful.

[Arniky]

Just wear it the way you want, it looks nice.

[Heavenly Locks]

;) How dare you be unique, different and NOT follow along with trends. Most people secretly wish they had the guts to do that.

(this is my rationale for the negative 'long hair' comments)

[Miss World]

Just ignore them! your hair is urs to decide how to wear. and you said that its braided, so its not really getting in the way of work (!!!) its totally uncalled for and I'd say she's just jealous ^_^

[Selene Argenta]

OP - Some people have no sense of tact and think it's okay to say anything they want to people! Don't mind her, your hair is lovely and you should not let people like that get to you so much that you cut your lovely hair!

I get comments from my sisters and mother about cutting it, although they think they are being nice it can be annoying. I let my mam cut my hair about a year ago as it was getting a but ragged at the ends and I didn't have the money to go to the hairdressers that week, but never again! She cut way more off than I wanted to!

My partner loves my hair and would be devestated if I cut it as would my nanny, so it seems to be hit and miss when it comes to long hair, some people love it and others aren't so happy with it and can be mean! :)

[zift]

Your wish is our command your highness, we're going to go hack our beautiful hair off and step off from your way so that you get all the attention !:mad:

Someone who's truely sorry about your hair would talk in a soft way which sounds like they want to help. But I smell jealousy and a bitchy tone from the lady at your work. It's pure jealousy, your hair in your avatar looks amazingly shiny and healthy. :rockerdud
and even if it was not it's YOUR hair and YOUR choice and anyone else whose comments are NOT asked for should just shut up!:twisted:

[SheWolf]

Does the assistant manager's hair look like a fried poodle, by any chance? Or a giant Brillo pad? Does she look like she's the love child of a porcupine and a hay stack? When she walks in the countryside, do the scarecrows run away screaming in fear? Or could the grease in her hair power up an 18 wheeler? Does her hair make her look like she has an octopus trying to mate with her ears?

... See, there are plenty of very logical explanations for her bitchiness. :D

[shadowclaw]

I agree with many of the previous comments - it's quite possible that your manager is either envious or just a rude individual. When I was in high school, girls with short hair would tell me all the time to cut my hair and donate it to locks of love. To this day, I still don't know why. I can only assume that they regretted cutting their own hair, so they wanted other girls to feel their pain.

Don't listen to people like that. If she's never even seen your hair down, then you shouldn't even be worrying about her comments. She clearly has no clue what she's talking about, and she's only saying it to pick at you, which is totally wrong. Maybe you could try polling your coworkers and asking if they prefer shiny, long, lovely locks or short, choppy, chemically-processed, heat-damaged hair. I'm sure they'd agree with the rest of us here, and it will make you feel much better about the nasty comments you've gotten from jealous coworkers.

[Pinstraight]

You have to learn to be a tough bird like I am. I have heard all the negative comments.

If I worked in a place where I had to tie my hair back that is fine. As long as somebody's hair is clean and not a health hazard, nobody has any business making unsolicited remarks. I guess people like me have to re-educate other women one at a time that their opinion means nothing and they will have to get used to seeing more women (especially older) with long hair.

[kdaniels8811]

You can always respond your friends love your hair and think it is beautiful, how many people are on this forum, anyway? Lots and lots! Seriously, it is probably your age and she sounds a bit envious. Let it be her problem, do not make it yours. It is your hair and you can wear it any way you desire.

By the way, I am very envious, your hair is just beautiful! One of these days mine will be that long...

[tommiefromva]

Your hair is beautifull and don't you ever cut it. There are plenty of other jobs out there. Go somewhere where your beatty is appreciated.

[Armelle]

Sometimes people just strongly dislike anything out of the ordinary and voice their displeasure. It's annoying but what can you do? Well, there's always strangling them with your braid, but I guess that's a mite bit illegal. :p

[fae]

She has no idea what she's talking about. Your hair is obviously healthy and shiny and you go to great lengths (ha!) to take care of it properly.

Remember:
You are not there to decorate her world.

[Mrs.X]

Please ignore her ignorant comments, your hair is beautiful! I think some people are so obsessed with having 'stylish' hair that they can't appreciate the beauty and timelessness of long hair. People with long hair stand out a mile in comparison to all the short haircuts that are in fashion at the moment and some people just aren't tolerant of anything that's a bit different.

[thankyousir74]

Wow, to assume that hair is "stringy" without ever seeing it loose requires some nerve. I'dve been pretty miffed.

Either way, Your hair looks fine, and it's true, you don't need to listen to her. If the comments get too out of hand bunning it is always an option. People don't seem to respond as much to bunned hair, as they have no way to know how long it actually is.

[BeatlesFanGirl]

Your hair is beautifull and don't you ever cut it. There are plenty of other jobs out there. Go somewhere where your beauty is appreciated.

I can only second that. :)

Really, I'm shocked to read what you've written about your manager, that's beyond rude. I can't even imagine someone telling to a co-worker to cut her (his) hair in Hungary! :O That's just absurd. Not letting you wear your hair down is absurd too :S

[Amara]

I agree with everything that's been said! It's tough when people are negative but imagine their comments washing right over you like water - unable to penetrate your true self.

[LisaButz2001]

longlocks3, I would have responded thusly, "Your opinion is irrelevant, because you are not a member of my target audience." Might come in handy, if there is a next time, which I hope there isn't.

[Xan]

they are probably jealous your hair is beautiful.

[DarkChocolate]

Agreed:) Longhair is totally unique:) Alot of times people are scared of things different from themselves:)

[Tressie]

Your hair is beautiful! It's just plain old sour grapes! Smile and concentrate on being the best employee you can be!

Maybe you could spin around really fast sometime and smack her with your braid? Sorry, I couldn't resist! (o:

[nowxisxforever]

People like that give you the perfect opening to state what you think about their hair. Or shoes. Or whatever catches your eye and curls your lip.

Yes. Give them a bit of a taste of their own medicine, maybe they'll see how utterly rude it is.

[Dementia1013]

I was talking to my SIL yesterday explained how there are ladies on here with such beautiful, knee length hair and that's how I decided that's how long I'm going to grow. She just scoffed and said 'yeah probably full of damage and ratty' and when I told her that's how long I'm growing my hair she said 'gross'

I bit my lip very hard, but all I can think is, why would that be the first thought in her head? When did 'long and beautiful' turn into 'damaged and ratty'? All I can come up with is that's what she had when she had long hair. Right now she has chin length and heavily layered hair. I just thought... 'how rude'