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Rosepatrice
May 3rd, 2009, 07:08 PM
I am wondering if anyone here has unkind comments made about their fine/thin hair before?

I'll tell you my story.

Yesterday I went in to a new Salon, being under the impression this was a long hair loving place, I thought for sure they would take off only 1/2 an inch of length.

The Hair Salon Owner asked how much I wanted off, and I told her. Then she told me that, in order for my hair to look half way decent, 6 inches would have to come off. I felt hurt and asked her "why?". She began saying that her niece has very very thick hair about the size of her wrist, and that it was blonde, like mine but her hair is beautiful long because it is thick, and mine needs to come off up 6 inches to get it to look decent.

HERES the hurtful thing, too. She said I will never ever ever be able to grow my hair past my BS because it is too fine and thin. She then again used her niece as an example of what beautiful, long hair looks like as she reached into her cabinet and pulled out a picture of her niece and compared my hair to hers, in a bad way.

Needless to say, I left with 3 inches cut off, and I only asked for 1/2.

What would you all do? What do you fine hairs out there do?


I just needed to vent. Thanks for listening.

kwaniesiam
May 3rd, 2009, 07:11 PM
I'm so sorry that happened to you :(

Honestly, had a salon OWNER said something like that, I would have told her that is none of her business and that she better get a better attitude or else she better not expect many customers, and stormed off warning everyone from the high and low hills what a b*tch the salon owner was...

All you need to do is look around LHC, there are many members here who have fine, thinner hair that is beautiful and long :flowers:

Rosepatrice
May 3rd, 2009, 07:16 PM
Thank YOU!

:flowers:

Yes, I see you are a fine one, indeed!! Giggle Giggle!!

SheWolf
May 3rd, 2009, 07:17 PM
I am wondering if anyone here has unkind comments made about their fine/thin hair before?

I'll tell you my story.

Yesterday I went in to a new Salon, being under the impression this was a long hair loving place, I thought for sure they would take off only 1/2 an inch of length.

The Hair Salon Owner asked how much I wanted off, and I told her. Then she told me that, in order for my hair to look half way decent, 6 inches would have to come off. I felt hurt and asked her "why?". She began saying that her niece has very very thick hair about the size of her wrist, and that it was blonde, like mine but her hair is beautiful long because it is thick, and mine needs to come off up 6 inches to get it to look decent.

HERES the hurtful thing, too. She said I will never ever ever be able to grow my hair past my BS because it is too fine and thin. She then again used her niece as an example of what beautiful, long hair looks like as she reached into her cabinet and pulled out a picture of her niece and compared my hair to hers, in a bad way.

Needless to say, I left with 3 inches cut off, and I only asked for 1/2.

What would you all do? What do you fine hairs out there do?


I just needed to vent. Thanks for listening.

Oh no... The salon owner was grossly unprofessional to say the least. If any hair pro ever treats you like that again, just walk out of there.
There are plenty of other hairstylists on this planet who'll be happy to take your money to cut off only 1/2 inch.
Just remember... You do not need their approval.

joyellen
May 3rd, 2009, 07:26 PM
Gosh, I'm sorry you had to hear that BS. I hope you never go back there again! You'll have the last laugh when your hair reaches your goal length and looks beautiful to boot. :flower:

Rosepatrice
May 3rd, 2009, 07:26 PM
Thank You!
:flowers:
That is so nice of you for the support!!!

misstwist
May 3rd, 2009, 07:27 PM
Oh, sweetie, I'm sorry you were subjected to that sort of obnoxiousness. Tell everybody you know how nasty this woman was and if you hear ANYTHING like that or any other negative or minimizing comments from another hairdresser just get up and walk out.

Rosepatrice
May 3rd, 2009, 07:37 PM
Thank You ALL :flowers:!!!

I feel much better now! :)

Wish I had someone like you girls here to trim it for me. :waving:

marialena
May 3rd, 2009, 07:38 PM
I am wondering if anyone here has unkind comments made about their fine/thin hair before?

I'll tell you my story.

Yesterday I went in to a new Salon, being under the impression this was a long hair loving place, I thought for sure they would take off only 1/2 an inch of length.

The Hair Salon Owner asked how much I wanted off, and I told her. Then she told me that, in order for my hair to look half way decent, 6 inches would have to come off. I felt hurt and asked her "why?". She began saying that her niece has very very thick hair about the size of her wrist, and that it was blonde, like mine but her hair is beautiful long because it is thick, and mine needs to come off up 6 inches to get it to look decent.

HERES the hurtful thing, too. She said I will never ever ever be able to grow my hair past my BS because it is too fine and thin. She then again used her niece as an example of what beautiful, long hair looks like as she reached into her cabinet and pulled out a picture of her niece and compared my hair to hers, in a bad way.

Needless to say, I left with 3 inches cut off, and I only asked for 1/2.

What would you all do? What do you fine hairs out there do?


I just needed to vent. Thanks for listening.

It is a lie that fine hair has to be cut in order to get thicker ( and sooo much btw).
I have extra fine hair on waist length which I grow them for six years.
Ok.. I agree that fine hair need more time to grow longer because they tend to brake easier but it is not needed to chop them this way in order to make them thicker.
I micro trim my hair whenever I see them having thinner ends ( this is the curse of fine hair) but I never cut them.
My advice is to stop visiting salons. ( as I did because as long as I visited them I coudn't grow my hair longer than shoulders)..
:mad:

And have in mind that even if your stylist's niece has so thick and nice hair as your stylist claims, that is never going to happen to your hair because it is quite impossible to have exactly the same quality of hair that this.... famous niece has! :p ( every one is unique so the niece can be happy with her hair and you with yours too. It is totally wrong to compare different people's hair. ).

MadPirateBippy
May 3rd, 2009, 07:42 PM
Get up and walk out.

That you PAID MONEY for someone to treat you like that is ridiculous. Never feel bad about saying, "Thanks, but no thanks, I'm not feeling this. I told you what I want, and what YOU want is different." and leaving.

drquartz1970
May 3rd, 2009, 07:43 PM
I feel very angry at the way you were treated by the hairdresser. How dare she tell you what she thinks is best for you and your hair!

A good hairdresser always follows the wishes of the customer and not the other way round!

I too had a hairdresser who took trimmed off more hair then I asked her too when I was very specific about how much to take off! Seriously I think some of these hair salon people have a hair cutting ******! Funnily enough she had bobbed hair and afterwards I would only allow the other hairdresser with waist-length hair anywhere near my head with scissors!

How to find a hairdresser who is longhair friendly:

1) Avoid a hairdresser with short/bobbed hair. Only allow a hairdresser with long hair to cut your hair. (preferably find one with a similar hair type to yours if you can)

2) Specify verbally your exact wishes and use your thumb and forefinger to show them visually as well exactly how much you want trimmed/cut. I think Hairdressers live in another universe sometimes and can have a wildly different concept of what a standard inch is compared to the general population. Let them know your long-term hair goals so that they are without doubt. If they still trying to go against your wishes by trying to persuade you to do something with your hair that you don't want - get off the chair and walk away quickly!

3) Tell them if they don't follow your wishes then they don't get paid. Avoid cheap hair salons or who have staff that don't speak your language well.

girlcat36
May 3rd, 2009, 07:43 PM
I had to finally stop going to salons.
When I went I got to hear about how 'damaged' my hair was. How could it be damaged?! I didn't blowfry, color, straighten, or brush my hair. The only thing I did do was use the recommended salon products(full of silicone).
I would always only ask for a 1/2" trim, but invariably would come out with 3-4 inches gone.
I think that because my hair was so fine, when wet it would look like 'nothing', and the stylist would cut up to where she thought it would look best, and make the most difference.
One time I insisted on only a 1/2" be taken off, and the stylist said she could only charge me 2.00 because she had taken almost nothing off. The 'nothing' she took did make a difference once my hair was dry, though.
It was kind of embarrassing and that's the last time I went(about 5 years ago).
Self-trimming only for me from now on. I know my hair is thin, but I don't want to hear about it from other people!

Darkhorse1
May 3rd, 2009, 07:45 PM
I've seen many people who have gorgeous hair that is very long and fine!!! So don't let this idiot spoil growing your hair for you! A client of mine has very fine hair, but she has it to her waist and it looks great! It's lovely, straight and shiny. There are always pros and cons to thick/thin hair and I bet your hair is lovely!

The hairdresser was highly unprofessional. I'd have walked out if I were you, but you were very nice. Hugs to you!!

Lamb
May 3rd, 2009, 07:45 PM
She then again used her niece as an example of what beautiful, long hair looks like as she reached into her cabinet and pulled out a picture of her niece and compared my hair to hers, in a bad way.

It would be at this point when I would get up from the chair, say "Well, it is obvious we cannot agree about what to do with my hair, so I think I won't waste any more of your time." and walk right out.

How incredibly rude - she is entitled to her own opinion, but she has no right to make her clients feel bad about the hairtype they were born with! :mad:
I'm so sorry this happened to you.

psvzum
May 3rd, 2009, 07:46 PM
That's just awful and so unprofessional, not to mention unkind. I think fine hair is beautiful-especially long. I have course wavy/curly hair and envy women with fine silky hair.

spidermom
May 3rd, 2009, 07:47 PM
I agree with MadPirate. Never sit in the chair of a stylist who says unkind things about your hair. I would say something like "I've changed my mind. I do not want a trim." Then I would leave.

You won't know how long your hair will grow until you try. There is some very lovely, long thin hair around here. Dark Chocolate comes to mind; great growth; blinding shine.

drquartz1970
May 3rd, 2009, 07:56 PM
Forgot to add: I too have fine hair and I think from seeing some of the people here with very long fine hair that it is more than possible to achieve your desired hair lenght and look good at the same time given plenty of TLC. The word "impossible" should never be in anyone's dictionary who wants to achieve their dreams! I hope you prove that harrigan wrong !

GlennaGirl
May 3rd, 2009, 08:19 PM
((Rosepatrice)) I haven't read all the replies yet...but I wanted to say that I heard the same thing. Many times. Many, many times.

Yet, ironically, my cousin, who has medium-textured, very thick hair, was told her hair was "too thick" to grow long because it would be "uncontrolled and wild".

And my aunt, who has medium-thickness, coarse, curly hair, was told many times she'd look like a "witch" if she kept her hair long. (First of all, in my mind, being called a witch would be a compliment, ;) and second of all, at 60+, although she doesn't have long hair by LHC standards, her fabulous silver-and-black curls DO go past the line of her shoulders.

So apparently, hair "can't" (or "shouldn't") grow long if it's:

* fine
* medium
* coarse
* wavy
* curly
* straight
* medium thickness
* thick

I'm thinking that doesn't leave a whole lot of options. And that obviously, there's an excuse that you "can't" grow your hair long no matter what it looks like...at least in some people's opinions (and that doesn't only include hairdressers).

Meanwhile, in other people's opinions, there's a reason that any type of hair can look absolutely EXQUISITE long (many of those people including the peeps here on LHC!). So the option really is yours. Grow it...that's what you want...and it's your head!

Hugs to you!

GlennaGirl
May 3rd, 2009, 08:20 PM
Also...the things that hairdresser said to you were really, really, really, really cruel. It twisted my heart to hear that; did she have to be that harsh?

Rosepatrice
May 3rd, 2009, 08:22 PM
I am really enjoying all the comments here. Wow, there are so many to address individually, so here is a big thank you to all of you!! O.K.? Thank you!! :flowers:

Tornerose
May 3rd, 2009, 10:00 PM
I have vvery fine hair too, and while people always comment how thin it is when it's newly washed, they always compliment me when I wear it loose and curled so it appears thick. It's all about appearance, not actual thickness.



1) Avoid a hairdresser with short/bobbed hair. Only allow a hairdresser with long hair to cut your hair. (preferably find one with a similar hair type to yours if you can)


Oh yeah I had to learn this the hard way. My regular hairdresser has same hair as me, we even have the same natural colour. She has APL hair, and has always been very respectful of my wishes, she even warned me not to do a full bleach on my hair because she didn't want to have to cut it all off if it got fried.
Then right before I joined LHC, my mums friend (not a hairdresser, but very good at cutting hair) who has very short, always vividly coloured hair, was going to cut my mum and sister. They talked me in to cutting faceframing layers, and even took a good 3 inches of my lenght, even though it wasn't that damaged.

I'm considering changing to a middleparting and straight bangs now, but I'm not sure I'd let her cut me again. So I have to save up money so I can go to my regular hairdresser.

Flynn
May 3rd, 2009, 10:09 PM
Ouch!

I have fine, thick hair, which in itself people often consider contradictory, and it is past waist length. I'm tempted to claim it as hip, but I'll give it a little longer before that.

Maybe the salon owner wouldn't be able to grow fine hair long, because she probably blowfries and abuses it, and the constant state of breakage would limit its length, but you know better than that.

Also, fine hair isn't necessarily weak hair. Not that it counts for much, but we did a prac on tension in middle high school science in which we tested strands of our own hair to see how much tension we could put on them before they snapped. We then looked at the structure of the hair under a microscope. There was no correlation between fineness and strength, other than particularly coarse hair (read: coarse Korean hair >_o ) being stronger than most other types. The strongest correlation was between strength and dying and strength and use of straightening irons. My hair stood up to as much as any other "anglo" girl's hair (I was probably the upper-midway). The weakest hair sample was straight and fine, but also bleached.

flapjack
May 3rd, 2009, 10:30 PM
Fine hair is absolutely beautiful. Don't let some unprofessional jerk tell you anything different.

bunnies
May 3rd, 2009, 10:55 PM
Wow, what an incredibly rude person! I would not feel bad at all about leaving that place. You do not need to spend money for an experience that makes you feel uncomfortable and unappreciated. I assume that this individual does not get much repeat business. Hopefully she'll realize that she needs to change her attitude before she loses her job.

zombi
May 4th, 2009, 12:01 AM
Get up and walk out.

That you PAID MONEY for someone to treat you like that is ridiculous. Never feel bad about saying, "Thanks, but no thanks, I'm not feeling this. I told you what I want, and what YOU want is different." and leaving.

THAT.

I have fine, ridiculously thin hair, and I've had it out to waist length before. It looked gorgeous, and so does yours. It hacks me off that people will always say whatever they think they can get away with when they could just be nice. And if I had a nickel for every time some rude stylist tell to me that my hair needs to be pixie-short and razored all the way around to make it "look thicker" and "better" I would richer than Oprah.

Elbereth
May 4th, 2009, 12:33 AM
My hair is fine and past waist length with see through ends. I love it.

I agree with the rest- the stylist was WAY out of line. You are the one with the money, and you are buying pampering, not insulting and rude behavior. She should be doing what makes you feel beautiful, not force her narrow ideals of beauty on you. If that happened to me, I would state calmly that I do not like her way of treating customers and leave. Entering a salon (or any place) does not oblige one to bear with bad treatment.

It seems that a lot of us have bad experiences with stylists- maybe you should consider learning to trim your own hair or have a trusted friend do it. For me, DH trims my hair and he is better at the job than any stylist I ever had :inlove: .

Flynn
May 4th, 2009, 12:43 AM
Oh, yeah, that's the other thing. If you want a new stylist, and you're just after something simple (blunt, u-shaped, v-shaped, anything without much in the way of layers...) barbers rock.

Rapunzal2Be
May 4th, 2009, 01:57 AM
I'm so sorry that happened! Honestly, I'm going to stay as far away from salons as I possibly can (I even decided against going blonde again for the simple fact that I have a hard time standing up for my hair in a salon and often get chopped because of it - so better just to stay out!).

I have baby fine, thin hair and have gotten told over and over again that it needs to be chopped short with layers in order to have body and look good and thick. And you know what I look like after they cut it? Someone with chopped, layered, thin, baby fine hair! LOL!

I am so sorry that she degraded you, hurt your feelings and cut your hair more than you wanted. It could have easily happened to me so I do feel your pain. I just hope you avoid the salon next time and either trim yourself or find someone you trust.

The thought that you need to have thick, wavy hair in order to grow it long is just as detrimental and hurtful as the thought that you need to have a tiny waist and big boobs in order to wear a bikini.

Rapunzal2Be
May 4th, 2009, 01:58 AM
Oh, yeah, that's the other thing. If you want a new stylist, and you're just after something simple (blunt, u-shaped, v-shaped, anything without much in the way of layers...) barbers rock.

Really?? I'd feel weird going into a barber shop, are they used to having women come in for just a trim?? That would be awesome though! Then I don't have to worry about having my DH do it! ;)

Flynn
May 4th, 2009, 02:08 AM
Really?? I'd feel weird going into a barber shop, are they used to having women come in for just a trim?? That would be awesome though! Then I don't have to worry about having my DH do it! ;)

I don't know about "used to" in all cases (mine is; there are a few ladies and little girls who use them) but they're certainly not fazed by it! Surely they cut their wives' and daughters' hair (if they're gents, there are plenty of lady barbers, too!) at the very least! And they know what you mean when you say "just a trim", or at least that's been my experience. I've heard similar from other members of the forum. My boyfriend, who's also a long hair (somewhere around APL or BSL -- if that makes sense on a guy, and VERY curly), put me on to that one!

My take: hairdressers think they're artists. Barbers know they are craftsmen.

janeytilllie
May 4th, 2009, 02:18 AM
Awww! Im very sorry you went through that :grouphug:

I don't have fine hair, but I do have very thin fairytale ends. And I too get the same silly comments!

She sounds like a very horrible hairdresser. And what she is saying is complete sillyness! :shake:

I was told once by a trainnee hairdresser at my college. That they try and convince the customer to have a bigger cut so they can charge more! Because anything bigger than a 2 inch trim is classed as a hair cut. It sounds to me that was her game :suspect: to try and get you to cut shorter to charge more. :nono:

You are not alone! I have had the same treatment from hairdressers, so I dont go to them no more :run:

A good proper hairdresser should always respect and listen to their customer, which she did not do!

All hair is beautiful! Don't listen to the silly women!

Hope you feel better soon :blossom:

Seraphina
May 4th, 2009, 02:25 AM
I can't believe someone would say something like that :(
I'm sure your hair is gorgeous;take no notice of such ignorance and bad manners.

zombi
May 4th, 2009, 02:51 AM
My take: hairdressers think they're artists. Barbers know they are craftsmen.

QFT. Love it!

Alun
May 4th, 2009, 02:59 AM
I sympathise. I've certainly been there. Mind you, I've never had them compare my hair unfavourably with one of their own relatives, even though they sometimes criticised it before hacking too much off. That comparison is a bit 'off' I would say.

I've had both barbers and stylists cut off too much hair. I suspect the tip about going to a barber only works if you're a woman, and for reasons completely different than those suggested. Perhaps barbers are a little worried about taking off too much if the client is female. Both hair stylists and barbers have the same training, though, as I understand it.

I suppose there is an optimum hair thickness for long hair. Too fine and it breaks, too thick and it's literally heavy. OTOH, life is too short to worry about it. You don't have to choose your hairstyle based solely on your hairtype. What you like the look of is far more important, as long as you don't expect it to turn out looking like someone else's when their hairtype is different.

I have fine hair down to my waist. Well, parts of it reach my waist, so that counts. I have a natural V-shaped 'hemline' to my hair, as I haven't trusted anyone to trim it in years! My hair has always been both fine (small strands) and thin (less of them), although some people's hair is finer and/or thinner than mine. It doesn't appear to grow all that quickly, due to breakage, but it does grow, and it's still growing. I happen to like it!

heidi w.
May 4th, 2009, 07:48 AM
WOW! You didn't leave...or claim, "Uh, hello, I'm not your neice!"

Have you considered writing a letter to management?

Very uncool.

heidi w.

Euphony
May 4th, 2009, 08:34 AM
OMG that is so wrong on so many levels! I'm so sorry she was so mean, that is just not right.

My SIL has gorgeous thin hair, she keeps cutting it off. We've had conversations about her wanting long hair, but she can't grow it because it's thin (that's what she says). I've emailed her numerous pictures of people with thin, gorgeous, long hair (some LHC'ers were kind enough to do this for me). She agreed their hair was beautiful, but still says her hair is too thin to grow long. She's just been fed this garbage for so long by 'professionals', she's just convinced it's true. I wish these 'professionals' would keep their opinions to themselves, that's all they are opinions.

:grouphug:

zift
May 4th, 2009, 01:56 PM
What's wrong with people?! And why does everybody have a relative who had long hair like their wrist. Although my hair's thick I've heard it million times that other people have relatives having hair thick like their wrist and not tapering like mine. Anyway, if something like that have happened to me which can never be because I don't go to salons but if I did and it happened I'd immediately leave the place and after saying very unpleasant things to the owner...

MadHatter
May 4th, 2009, 03:21 PM
What do you fine hairs out there do?




I'd like to go to this same salon, "consult" with the stylist, then tell her to take her snapshot of her niece and cramp it hard.
She sounds like one of those insufferable jack*sses. They way she spoke to you was waaaay unprofessional.

Rosepatrice
May 4th, 2009, 03:26 PM
Hi Everyone!

I am still enjoying all the comments about this subject. I didn't realize just how badly she treated me until AFTER I had left and thought about it and read all these neat replies!

Thank you, and here's some flowers for all of you...:flowers:

Rosepatrice
May 4th, 2009, 03:30 PM
WOW! You didn't leave...or claim, "Uh, hello, I'm not your neice!"

Have you considered writing a letter to management?

Very uncool.

heidi w.

She IS the management. She has owned salons throughout NY for 25 years, that is why I went to her, by a reccomendation from what I THOUGHT was a reliable source.:)

neon-dream
May 4th, 2009, 03:32 PM
Doesn't she know that everyone has different opinions?
Fine hair can be beautiful, just as any other hair. Comparing hair is wrong, and she should respect your wishes!
:flowers:

Silverlox
May 4th, 2009, 03:49 PM
First of all, she's dead wrong! :nono:

As proof, I'd like to volunteer my own hair. Super-baby-ultra fine strands, not very thick (lower end of ii), nevertheless, I've reached classic and am on my way to mid-thigh. :thumbsup:

I've had the audacity to not only grow my superfine hair long, but also to not dye it as well as keep it long past the ripe old age of 50. Apparently I'm doing every no-no in the book. My solution is to simply not care about these "rules"! :D

You were indeed treated very badly! :grouphug:
Bippy had a great suggestion for how to deal with that, should it ever occur again. Just get up and leave. No discussion. Just leave.

My mother is a militant short-hair. She only goes to salons that do good crops. For this very reason, I'd never take her recommendation.

I'd suggest that in the future you only take recommendations for stylists from people with your own hair type. And preferably only from people with a certain length. :flower:

JamieLeigh
May 6th, 2009, 09:40 AM
My hair is pretty fine and thin, and it's been nearly to my knees before. Just sayin! ;)

Mangachan
May 6th, 2009, 10:13 AM
This is why I don't like going to salons. Of course your hair won't grow longer if she's chopping it off. If you need a trim, find someone you trust to do it or do it yourself. You shouldn't have to give your hard earned money to somebody who's insulting you.

florenonite
May 6th, 2009, 10:20 AM
What's wrong with people?! And why does everybody have a relative who had long hair like their wrist. Although my hair's thick I've heard it million times that other people have relatives having hair thick like their wrist and not tapering like mine. Anyway, if something like that have happened to me which can never be because I don't go to salons but if I did and it happened I'd immediately leave the place and after saying very unpleasant things to the owner...

This baffles me. I have small wrists, and thick hair, and my plait isn't as thick as my wrist, not all the way down, at least. Either there are a lot of people with skeletal wrists, or a lot of people with exceedingly thick hair out there and I just haven't met any of them yet.

starshinedarkly
May 6th, 2009, 11:02 AM
I honestly would have just walked right out...That's so rude, sorry you had to deal with someone like that. :(

MsBubbles
May 6th, 2009, 11:06 AM
What would you all do? What do you fine hairs out there do?
.

Never go to a salon ever again, for one. I do Feye's self-trim now.

As a fine-hair, I have flushed all those old wives' tales down the toilet about my awful my fine hair is because it 'just hangs there', or needs layers/highlights/perms/blowfrying/rollers to look good. These comments all came from either my Mother or many hair stylists along the way. Flushed 'em all away. What do I do now? I ogle long, fine hairs on LHC who are at waist or beyond, for my future inspiration. Beautiful!!

Big hugs to you, been there, done that. NEVER going back again.

Kaamos
May 6th, 2009, 12:10 PM
I'm sorry, Rosepatrice, that hairstylist was mean.

I also heard unkind comments about my fine hair. Not from hairstylists but from other people....:rolleyes: I don't believe them anymore, I know better now. Fine, long hair can look very beautiful (I have seen many good examples) and it feels so soft.
AND in fact, I think my hair looks better long than short... ;)

vamq
May 6th, 2009, 12:44 PM
That hairstylist was sooo unprofessional. Just leave next time.

And who sais fine hair can't be long?
A friend of me has (probably) 2b/f/i/ii hair, and was a longhair before. And it was beautiful. Fine strands have the advantage of making the hair look more shiny (and smooth, with some hairtypes), I think

I had the same comments. Because my sis and I always went to the same hairsalon at the same time. I have pretty thick hair (considdering the measuring methods on this board, I was always said I have "really thin hair") but my strands are fine-ish/medium. My sis has medium/coarse strands. So what happened, the hairdresser said "my sis had such beautiful thick hair...and wasn't I jealous because I didn't had that? With my thin hair, I wouldn't even be able to grow my hair to BSL"
Then he gave me a layered haircuts with the longest layers a bit below chinlength, to "spice it up". While layers take away all wave and volume from my hair! And he was said to be a professional! Well, the prices were!

As you can understand, I never went there again.
I still visit a hairsalon twice a year, but I have found a nice hairsalon owned by an entire family of ladies, with a few of them who have BSL+ hair.

Katze
May 6th, 2009, 12:54 PM
Never go to a salon ever again, for one. I do Feye's self-trim now.

As a fine-hair, I have flushed all those old wives' tales down the toilet about my awful my fine hair is because it 'just hangs there', or needs layers/highlights/perms/blowfrying/rollers to look good. These comments all came from either my Mother or many hair stylists along the way. Flushed 'em all away. What do I do now? I ogle long, fine hairs on LHC who are at waist or beyond, for my future inspiration. Beautiful!!

Big hugs to you, been there, done that. NEVER going back again.

I have to second this. Salons always treated my hair roughly, blowdried it straight, then told me I would have to cut 'all those ratty ends' off. Since finding LHC, I have been treating my hair better (also no more color or bleach) and finally, finally, have better looking hair.

My hair does grow very slowly and has severe taper. In order to have it looking really good down, I have to dry it carefully and put product in it - otherwise it can look stringy and thin. But overall it is in better shape than it ever was.

My experience is that salons do not know how to treat fine hair, or wavy hair, and that it is much better to cut it yourself. I now cut 2 friends' hair in addition to mine and my BF's hair - it is not hard at all. Try it carefully and slowly at first and you can, most likely, do it!

Also, to compare your hair to her niece's was just unprofessional and inappropriate. I hope you didn't tip her and that you never go back!

Unnamed
May 6th, 2009, 01:00 PM
I didn't read all the posts (and I just now saw this thread, even though I've been checking in here every day), but...yes. Very, very similar situation when I was much younger, but I had more than 3" cut off.

First time I was almost BSL, wanted to have a 1" or so trim just to get the ends a tad more even, and was cut up to SHOULDER length.

Didn't go back for almost a year after that as I wanted all that length back, as I was growing longer. Same thing happened, and I had made it very, very, very clear I did not want a cut, just a very itty bitty trim. Back up to shoulder *again*. :(

Both times I was basically told my hair was too fine to grow past shoulder and have vaguely even ends, and that it would never reach waist length. Especially that second time, and then she cut it before I agreed. :rolleyes: So even though I had a ton of super fine hair, because it was still thin I couldn't get it to be left longer than shoulder length. After it was clear my hair wouldn't hold curl or wave (not even perms), well, I think that was part of why I was never suggested to have layers (nor had them). Just blunt at shoulders or shorter because that was the only thing that would look 'good'.

That second 6" cut was the last time I ever let anyone else cut my hair. Ever. And I was only 12 then, but I was sick of having more off than wanted, and I got enough bullying about other things (which is what it felt like, but instead of being kicked or have things thrown at me along with the comments about being overweight/my acne, my hair was cut shorter than asked because it was fine/thin), that it just contributed to how much I hated myself and everything about myself. And still do, and it's hard not to be really upset about having thin hair (and thin ends) even now, even though it's been about 15 years since I've been trying to get myself to just ignore it and let it grow like I had wanted to let it do.

I've cut my own hair since (and in college a couple of times I did small trims on other people's hair), and that would be my suggestion. If you can't find someone that will obey your wishes...do it yourself. It's not hard, you save money, much less stress, takes less time, *and* you get what you want. If you're worried you won't do it right you can always trim less than you actually want the first couple of times. ;)

shwankie
May 6th, 2009, 01:01 PM
What an awful experience! I am so sorry anyone treated you like that, and a "professional," nontheless. This is why I don't go to salons, either.

I have thin, fine hair that is now waist (I really need to measure it and update my stats), and I get stopped in the street by strangers, by people I don't know at the gym, and by random people in the grocery store telling me it's gorgeous. Thin, fine hair can be fabulous, and can be long (I've had it longer than this before). It's completely bullhockey that we can't have great hair! I get so mad at people who want to talk people out of doing what they want with their own hair--it's ridiculous, and usually wrong.

Your hair, thin and fine, is beautiful.

cakedcake
May 6th, 2009, 01:08 PM
I've had a lot of negative salon experiences similar to the one you describe here. I know everyone is saying "just walk out," and that makes sense to do, but it's not always that easy. A few times, I encountered rude comments from stylists after my hair had been washed, and it would have taken a mini-scene to untangle myself and get out. Other times, I haven't trusted myself, and I've wondered if I'm overreacting, et cetera. It's difficult when you don't have anyone there to back you up.

I know this is a generalization and therefore basically it's an unfair assumption to make about every stylist, yadda yadda, but I think stylists spend a lot of their time gossiping and being stunted in some lame high school psychology. If they were true businesspeople, these sorts of situations would not arise.

I've also considered that my personality conflicts with those of people who spend a lot of time in salon environments so I'll take partial responsibility because (I don't know why- dig into my psyche and traumatic childhood, or something!) I find it really difficult to be assertive in that sort of position.

I would rather trust that the scissor-wielder knows more about cutting than I do than get into some muted fight that I have to resolve before being forced to settle back into the chair and trust her anyway. So, for me, the options are basically: walk out or don't say anything. I've usually chosen the latter, although now I'm just not going to salons.

Melisande
May 6th, 2009, 01:23 PM
Unnamed - I just want to say that your hair is lovely and I hope you don't hate it any more! It has a very individual shape, like a drop, very romantic and pretty and natural. And nice color and shine. It's a good example for the beauty of fine hair that evolves and comes into its own.

The OP's story is really really upsetting. I have been in that place before, too, and I was never assertive enough to just get up and go. Really insulting remarks, and unprofessional!!!

Rosepatrice
May 6th, 2009, 01:39 PM
Hi Everyone! I'm STIll enjoying all these stories and ideas and thank you all so much.

It's so nice to know that I am not the only one. There seems to be quite alot of fine, thin tresses 'round here, and that is very inspiring and so fortunate. Especially to see that some have grown their hair way beyond their tush, and it just looks fabulous!!

:flowers: again, to all of you!