Help! I think I destroyed my hair...

[SheWolf]

I think I got my hair completely messed up with cones and I'm flipping out because I had finally outgrown a disastrous massacre that ended up in a pixie cut. I do color my hair, it's just below the shoulder blades now, with long layers, also trying to outgrow bangs. I noticed it was getting drier and rough feeling, not responding to moisturizing treatments. I read about cones, nearly all my products have them, so I used a clarifying shampoo twice this week, and instead of conditioner I used coconut oil. It makes my hair greasy (i used a lot) so I have to shampoo again in the morning.
But how do I get my hair back to health without cutting it all off? :undecided

[chrissy-b]

First, welcome to the boards!

I would suggest using a cone-free conditioner, and a lot of it. Maybe try CO for a while and add coconut oil to the ends when they are damp. I wouldn't suggest continually clarifying because that is often too harsh on your hair. I think you've done it enough this week so now just moisturize a bunch and then maybe try to clarify again in two weeks if the problem still hasn't resolved.

I'm sure others with similar hairtype will post soon too.

[Bloodflower]

If you have clarified twice already most of the cones should be gone. You don't need the clarifying shampoo to get the coconut oil out, it would be too harsh. Try to find products without cones - a gentle shampoo and conditioner. Give your hair some time. If you really had a lot of cone build-up your hair's true condition that is now revealed may be different from what you are used to.

If you find out later that your hair actually likes cones you can add them to your routine again.

ETA: chrissy-b was faster!

[Arctic_Mama]

Calm down, first off!

It doesn't sound like you have done anything you can't reverse. Clarify, switch to a light conditioner with NO cones for a few months, and save the coconut oil for treatments, only. If you have to regularly strip your hair to get it all out you're likely doing more harm than good with your current routine. Get back to simpler products that you don't need to clarify more then once every few weeks.

I think a good clarifying and switch to lighter products will help your hair behave a little better. Don't panic, short of tons of splits and bleach/perm/straightening damage there's little that cannot be salvaged. But the best lesson to learn from this site, I think, is that often the best things forour hair are light, inexpensive, and don't alter your hair too significantly from its' natural state.

[SheWolf]

Thanks, Chrissy! :)
I have one shampoo which is not clarifying and has no cones in it, (at least that's what I read) it's Phytojoba. The only conditioner with no cones I have is a Biolage strengthening cond. and I only have enough left for one use, so I guess I need to by new products tomorrow.
I hope someone here has suggestions because I don't know what to get... Right now I look like the love child of a poodle and and a brillo pad! :o

[SheWolf]

Actually, I do have split ends now, and lots of them, so I'm guessing I'll be losing about an inch soon...

[jera]

Thanks, Chrissy! :)
I have one shampoo which is not clarifying and has no cones in it, (at least that's what I read) it's Phytojoba. The only conditioner with no cones I have is a Biolage strengthening cond. and I only have enough left for one use, so I guess I need to by new products tomorrow.
I hope someone here has suggestions because I don't know what to get... Right now I look like the love child of a poodle and and a brillo pad! :o

Hi and welcome to LHC. :) My hair loves the moisture of Pantene Daily Moisture Renewal condish. And it's affordable and easy to find in an drugstore. This has done the most to help hydrate my hair in the past two months. ;) It's quickly become one of my must have hair care products.

[Runzel]

Just to add, if your hair has been chemically dyed there is likely some irreversible damage that you would have to grow out because of the harsh substances used which compromises your hair. But with proper moisturizing, careful handling, and stretching the time out between washes you should be able to get it to a somewhat happy state. :)

[SheWolf]

Just to add, if your hair has been chemically dyed there is likely some irreversible damage that you would have to grow out because of the harsh substances used which compromises your hair. But with proper moisturizing, careful handling, and stretching the time out between washes you should be able to get it to a somewhat happy state. :)

The thing is... i'm not ready to go gray, yet. i know it sounds silly but i'm not. my hair is deep brown naturally, i color it to match my natural color, i don't think there's a way for me to cover gray without having to deal with hair dye... is there?

[Runzel]

The thing is... i'm not ready to go gray, yet. i know it sounds silly but i'm not. my hair is deep brown naturally, i color it to match my natural color, i don't think there's a way for me to cover gray without having to deal with hair dye... is there?

There are actually ways to dye your hair brown using natural dyes, and instead of damaging your hair it actually helps it! I don't have first-hand experience with it myself but there are many others who do. You'll find them in the "Recipes, Henna, and Herbal Haircare" section talking about henna, indigo, and hendigo. I encourage you to look around in their threads and get an idea of how natural hair dyeing works. I think you'll like it!

[SheWolf]

There are actually ways to dye your hair brown using natural dyes, and instead of damaging your hair it actually helps it! I don't have first-hand experience with it myself but there are many others who do. You'll find them in the "Recipes, Henna, and Herbal Haircare" section talking about henna, indigo, and hendigo. I encourage you to look around in their threads and get an idea of how natural hair dyeing works. I think you'll like it!

Wow you guys are like a hair encyclopedia, how cool!! :D
Thanks so much, everyone, I must sleep now but I'll do some reading here tomorrow and start figuring things out!

[chrissy-b]

ETA: chrissy-b was faster!

What can I say? I've got waaaaaay too much time on my hands. :)

[kdaniels8811]

Shewolf - my hair is naturally dark brown and I dyed it and damaged it for years, it broke off and would not grow much past shoulder length. I henned last Thanksgiving (50/50 henna and indigo) and the color is what you see in the picture. Two hendigo treatments and now I do roots only and the color is very permanent - no fading! shiny, full, soft. There is a bunch of other stuff I do, catnip tea soaks to prevent split ends - I have not timmed my hair is well over a year and there are none. And my hair is now bra strap length and heading for waist. So there are natural CHEAP treatments that help wonderfully and they are all described on these boards so happy researching and ask all the questions you need to. Good luck and let us know how it turns out and pictures are good, to! Smile! Welcome to LHC!

[SheWolf]

Shewolf - my hair is naturally dark brown and I dyed it and damaged it for years, it broke off and would not grow much past shoulder length. I henned last Thanksgiving (50/50 henna and indigo) and the color is what you see in the picture. Two hendigo treatments and now I do roots only and the color is very permanent - no fading! shiny, full, soft. There is a bunch of other stuff I do, catnip tea soaks to prevent split ends - I have not timmed my hair is well over a year and there are none. And my hair is now bra strap length and heading for waist. So there are natural CHEAP treatments that help wonderfully and they are all described on these boards so happy researching and ask all the questions you need to. Good luck and let us know how it turns out and pictures are good, to! Smile! Welcome to LHC!

So... I can use Henna now even though my hair has been dyed in salon every month for 4 years?
I had no idea... I thought I was stuck with regular hair dye forever!

Today I went to the drugstore and got biolage hydrating shampoo and conditioning balm, and also B&B seaweed conditioner and leave in conditioner.
This afternoon I decided on another clarifying wash because I could clearly tell the cones were still there.
Then I used B&B seaweed cond. and afterward used a dollop of leave in on my ends.
Now it's air drying.

This might sound really pathetic but... I've never colored my hair on my own. :o
I could see doing it on short hair but how do I make sure I do this right and get all the roots?
I have about 1 inch of icky roots, right now...

(sorry for all the stupid questions but I'm desperate, I'm going on a trip in 3 weeks, I'd like my hair to be back to health)

[manderly]

First off, there's nothing wrong with cones or chemical dyes.

If you wish to continue with the chemical dyes in a salon, make sure you only get your roots touched up. Or you can talk to your stylist about semi or demi permanent dyes. There are many members here with long, glorious hair who use chemical dyes.

As for cones, they don't hurt your hair. They cover up damage and do build up. Sounds like you had a buildup issue, which you resolved by clarifying. Removing the old cones also uncovered some split ends. You do not need to cut an inch off your hair, you can try S&D (search & destroy). Basically you sit in a good light source and search through your hair for splits and nip the single hairs off with a pair of good scissors. It's a bit of a regular ritual for many members, it keeps our hair from tangling and looking good without us having to lose length. Considering we are aiming for length and health, it's counter productive to be constantly trimming it because of a few splits.

For products, I see you've already bought some. Many members here use the dirt cheap "crap" that you've probably never dreamed of using in the past. VO5 and Suave are great cone-free conditioners, and dirt cheap to boot. There are different washing methods. Few members use traditional shampoo and conditioner, because shampoo is too harsh, no matter the brand. Most people who still use shampoo dilute it down quite a bit. Other people don't use shampoo at all (or only rarely) and do conditioner only (CO) washes (this is where the cheap Suave comes in handy, as you use quite a bit).

Spend some time reading the articles (there are a couple for newbies) and stickied threads. You're going to learn a lot of new things that you've never heard of, and you're going to want to try a lot of them. Take your time, be gentle and kind to your hair, ask questions, and don't be afraid to experiment :)

Welcome to LHC. :flower:

[SheWolf]

First off, there's nothing wrong with cones or chemical dyes.

If you wish to continue with the chemical dyes in a salon, make sure you only get your roots touched up. Or you can talk to your stylist about semi or demi permanent dyes. There are many members here with long, glorious hair who use chemical dyes.

As for cones, they don't hurt your hair. They cover up damage and do build up. Sounds like you had a buildup issue, which you resolved by clarifying. Removing the old cones also uncovered some split ends. You do not need to cut an inch off your hair, you can try S&D (search & destroy). Basically you sit in a good light source and search through your hair for splits and nip the single hairs off with a pair of good scissors. It's a bit of a regular ritual for many members, it keeps our hair from tangling and looking good without us having to lose length. Considering we are aiming for length and health, it's counter productive to be constantly trimming it because of a few splits.

For products, I see you've already bought some. Many members here use the dirt cheap "crap" that you've probably never dreamed of using in the past. VO5 and Suave are great cone-free conditioners, and dirt cheap to boot. There are different washing methods. Few members use traditional shampoo and conditioner, because shampoo is too harsh, no matter the brand. Most people who still use shampoo dilute it down quite a bit. Other people don't use shampoo at all (or only rarely) and do conditioner only (CO) washes (this is where the cheap Suave comes in handy, as you use quite a bit).

Spend some time reading the articles (there are a couple for newbies) and stickied threads. You're going to learn a lot of new things that you've never heard of, and you're going to want to try a lot of them. Take your time, be gentle and kind to your hair, ask questions, and don't be afraid to experiment :)

Welcome to LHC. :flower:

Thanks, Manderly! :)
I am already everything I can here and I'm discovering a lot!
I know I will need to keep shampooing regularly because I workout a lot, I get really sweaty.
The only times I do not shampoo are when I'm on a backpacking trip, and when I get back, I'm so grimy I really need to shampoo.

I think I need to make a decision about haircolor, whether I want to try Henna or stick with the regular stuff...

[viking_quest]

If you still want to use chemical dyes, then do so but just try to colour your roots or if you get them professionally done then have the person who colours your hair to do a root touch up. I don't really recommend henna+indigo because it's permanent, messy and you can't get rid of the colour without drastic measures which will damage your hair. If you do plan on going that then read up on the Recipes, Henna, and Herbal Haircare articles section.

Cones are not bad. Some people's hair likes them and others don't. Since you've clarified you don't need to do it again if you stop using cones. I really suggest VO5 or Suave if you want to go CO and coneless and see how that turns out.

You also don't have to use a lot of coconut oil. Just a little on the ends and it will be fine.

[SheWolf]

If you still want to use chemical dyes, then do so but just try to colour your roots or if you get them professionally done then have the person who colours your hair to do a root touch up. I don't really recommend henna+indigo because it's permanent, messy and you can't get rid of the colour without drastic measures which will damage your hair. If you do plan on going that then read up on the Recipes, Henna, and Herbal Haircare articles section.

Cones are not bad. Some people's hair likes them and others don't. Since you've clarified you don't need to do it again if you stop using cones. I really suggest VO5 or Suave if you want to go CO and coneless and see how that turns out.

You also don't have to use a lot of coconut oil. Just a little on the ends and it will be fine.

:o I admit in my panic I went overboard.
I think for now, I need to stop all cones. I probably need to take a break from cones for a while. My hairstylist will raise an eyebrow, roll her eyes to the ceiling and shake her head when I bring my own shampoo and conditioner, but there isn't one cone free line in the salon!
I also want to try CO, at least twice or 3x a week.

I need to be careful to keep my hair healthy, because let me tell you... growing out a pixie after being massacred by a snip happy maniac was rather traumatic. :eek::disgust:

[Forever_Sophie]

Welcome :)

Cones work for me and I think part of the deal is using a clarifying shampoo regularly (i.e. every other wk). If you want to cut them out altogether, I've read amazing reviews about Naked Naturals Shea & Avocado S&C. Good luck!

[SheWolf]

Welcome :)

Cones work for me and I think part of the deal is using a clarifying shampoo regularly (i.e. every other wk). If you want to cut them out altogether, I've read amazing reviews about Naked Naturals Shea & Avocado S&C. Good luck!

Thanks! :)
Cones worked for quite a while, and I was using a clarifying shampoo once a week. But in the past 2 months I started noticing that my hair was getting dry and brittle, rough and frizzy. Did not respond to moisturizing treatments, kept getting worse.
I saw the Naked Naturals lines at my local drugstore, I'll give it a shot when I need to buy products again.

[Alethia]

I don't clarify my hair. I avoid cones, but I'm not obsessive about it and will use them if there's nothing else. Coconut oil should be used sparingly (fingernail amount) unless you are planning on doing a deep oil treatment and then washing it out (pref. CO - works better than shampoo for getting oil out anyway).

I did henna and indigo about 6-9 months ago. I loved the colour - a really rich brunette. It has since faded so that there is no harsh line between my greys (I am 90% pepper and 10% salt) and my dyed hair. It is a bit messy and time consuming to do, but the condition of my hair was not adversely affected by it. I would do it again if I could be bothered keeping up with colouring the roots. I certainly wouldn't consider dying my hair with chemical dyes now because it's too long and I know the ends wouldn't stand up to the strain. If you are planning on growing your hair very long, then personally I would recommend henna and indigo. I got mine very cheaply from an Asian store - about $1.50 for a 4 oz box.

A lot of supermarkets do their own brand conditioners. The really cheap ones in the big bottles are often cone-free. Happy hunting!