Bad experiences with long hair and rude people?

[JessicaVonMaim]

I have seen a few people post about people saying rude things to them about their hair, or telling them they should cut it, etc. And I had a pretty bad experience myself this year at one of my university's football games. There was a guy behind me who would come to every game drunk as a skunk and yell rude/stupid things at everyone, and overall just be obnoxious. Well one game he randomly decided to yank my hair! He did it not once, not twice, but three times, and very hard! I didn't know how to react, I haven't had my hair pulled since I was like seven and in a fight over a barbie doll. He pulled it so hard that it practically pulled it out of the pony tail. I know I should have turned around and let him have it, but I was too shocked to do anything (not to mention I am a very shy and nervous person).

So I guess I am curious at what kind of experiences everyone else has had and what do you say when people are flat out rude and mean?

[RancheroTheBee]

I have a lot of people tell me to straighten my hair, or make comments about how it's too poofy or big or whatever.

The only thing that really offends me about it is that they make it seem as if I was unaware of this. Like I don't wake up every morning trying to gently pat down my hair to make it lie flat.

I give them the "the face" and just say, "Yeah. Thanks."

What that guy did to you, though: Ughn. What a jerkface. Don't you wish you had a rewind button, so you could tell him off? That'd be nice.

[Natalia]

Ive never gotten anything but compliments from strangers as far as i can remember the worst has come from my family or aquaintances who have known me for a while (aka when i was a natural or highlighted blonde).

Its mostly the you would look so much better if you just....cut it off, got it bleached, used more product, backcomb it a bit, styles it like a normal person (aka no buns or sticks), ect....

Ive gotten a few particularly cruel comments but the worst was action....when i was asleep at a so called friends house i must have been 13 - 14 she thought that my hair wasnt as healthy as her chemically relaxed, bleached, blowdried, product plentiful mop becasue i didnt slather or straighten my kinky ends so she cut them off with kitchen scisors! Luckly i was on the verge of waking up and thank god she wasnt pure evil so she only cut off about a quarter to half inch instead of to above my shoulder which she so keenly wanted to see on me.

God that has to be top 3 on my worst moments list. I got up stormed out and waited for a ride, saw her alot after but never spoke to her again other than to yell go to hell on my way out the door!

[JessicaVonMaim]

Oh my goodness! That is crazy for someone to just take it upon themselves to cut another persons hair without their consent, and especially while they're sleeping.

[kirky]

Oh dear....I've had so many rude people + long hair experiences!

The most recent that comes to mind was when I was at work one day. A lady came in and told me that she used to be a hairdresser. I told her that I was sure that was a lot of fun blah blah blah....she went on to tell me that MY hair was stringy and dull! Oh I was sooo mad! My hair was even up in a bun that day! She told me that I should cut off a few inches from the ends to keep it nice and make it grow faster! I just laughed and told her I was was very happy with my hair!

UGH! People!!!!

[Tornerose]

Omg if anyone did that to me, i'd call the cops on them.
When people tell me to cut it, I (sometimes pretend to) get all shocked and anxious, like they said something really horrible about my appareance that I never heard before. Like

*gasp* omg, you want me to cut it? Seriously? I've always dreamed of having long hair since I was a little girl, but couldn't because my hair was so thin. And now that I finally got my lifelong dream fulfilled, you want me to cut it?

Usually they turn really quiet and just mumble something like "sorry, i did't know it was a reason for it" or get really disturbed that I take it so personally.
Then after tey think about it for a while, they compliment me for daring to be myself and all that.

[IndigoInk]

Oh my goodness! That is crazy for someone to just take it upon themselves to cut another persons hair without their consent, and especially while they're sleeping.

ITA

However, my SIL has had this happen more than once! We suspect it's the same person doing it but it really freaks her out.

[JessicaVonMaim]

*gasp* omg, you want me to cut it? Seriously? I've always dreamed of having long hair since I was a little girl, but couldn't because my hair was so thin. And now that I finally got my lifelong dream fulfilled, you want me to cut it?



Haha, I might try that next time anyone says something to me!

That is really creepy to think that someone is waiting till you fall asleep and then cutting your hair and what could you do about it?
:uhh:

[Tornerose]

Haha, I might try that next time anyone says something to me!

Don't forget to be on the verge of crying ;)

[JessicaVonMaim]

Of course, that is the most important part :p

[Lohari]

I haven't ever met completetly strangers that have said something about my hair, but some of my friends used to tell me how I would look so pretty with shorter hair and I needed some "change" in my life because I've always had long hair, so it would be good to "try" shorter hairstyle.
I'm glad that they have realised that I'm not going to cut it and they now keep their mouths shut. Expect for one, she didn't say anything about my hair when the others were telling to cut it, but now that they have stopped, she started it! For now I've just told her that there is no way I'm going to cut it, if I someday want shorter hair, I will, but I don't think I would really ever want that. I think I will go mad if she says it again ^^' I'm a little scared when I'm around her, I'm not sure if I can sleep at all when she is going to have a sleepover birthdayparty at her house o__o. She is a nice person, but... Yeah.

[NeilTheFuzz]

That guy was really out of order. What a bastard. Unfortunatley there are plenty of them in the world. I was bullied something fierce in school and even into my college years when everyone is supposed to be more "mature". Infact, the bullying and my inability to cope with it probably lead to me quitting. It came to the point where I was unable to learn properly. School was about avoiding bullys towards the end, rather than learning anything.

This time last year, I was assaulted. I am pretty sure that was because of the way I look, because I didn't say or do anything to the people who did it to me. I am pretty good at coping with it now. I find ways to deal with it. Generally, I shout something that makes people feel like sh*t back at them. Bald men who had a go at me didn't know what they were messing with :). If they are gonna be rude to me I'll hit 'em back.

Fortunately, where I live anyway, the old fashioned biggots are dying out and a lot of the younger people are more accepting of "different" looking kids. It rather nice really.

For all the sh*t I've put up with, I get a lot more people telling me I look nice rather than the opposite.

[noelgirl]

The rudest thing I've gotten (mostly in high school, breeding ground for individuality that it was) is people asking if I've ever thought about cutting my hair, in a tone that suggests that clearly I'm a feral child who's unfamiliar with the concept. My response was usually a straightforward "I like my hair the way it is," but if I were feeling snarky I could really go to town about this newfangled "haircut" thing.

One time when we were younger, my sister and I were in an argument, and she didn't like that I had just bested her, so she came at me with scissors. Ran out of ideas, I guess. I pulled away, so she only got the end of my braid, but for obvious reasons, I was not pleased. We made up, blood is thicker than water after all, but I wore protective updos around her for a while after that (and tattled, so I guess I ran out of ideas too).

[Kristen_Marie]

I've never understood this latent animosity for long hair. Sure, friends and family "suggest" you cut it, but why in the world do they care? It's nice to offer advice on fashion and the like, I guess, but usually I have to ask for someone's opinion. When it comes to hair, they seem ready and willing to offer their two cents regardless of if I care to hear it or not. >.>

The one thing that really annoys me is this: people who ask me to donate my hair to Locks of Love. Don't get me wrong, I think LOL is an absolutely wonderful organization and I encourage and support others to donate their hair when they've already made the decision to do so. I, on the other hand, have not yet reached a point when I want to part with my hair even if it is to donate to such an organization. It feels like these complete strangers are trying to guilt trip me into something I don't want to do - like I should feel guilty for having long hair when others don't. What, should you feel guilty for having a pair of Prada shoes because I don't? I'm not going to tell you to donate them to the downtown Goodwill because you can. (Not exactly in the same league of importance, but you get my point.) Again, it's not that I don't think LOL is a fantastic organization, I just don't think that I need to be singled out because I have long hair. It feels like harrassment and like I'm being guilt tripped by random people who again, have absolutely no say in what I do with my hair. (Part of my argument for this is the amount of work and money that goes into it. Combing, shampoos and conditioners, oils, special treatments, special pillow cases/brushes - I probably spend more on shampoos and conditioners than any other personal/health product!)

Another thing I've noticed is that people seem much more eager/willing to touch your hair when it's long. I get a lot of braid tugs at work (from co-workers mostly) and I have had four instances out and about when complete strangers have walked up and started stroking my hair out of the blue. Two were at Safeway, in the check-out line. One lady (who didn't speak a word of English) began raving in what I think was Russian while caressing and fondling my head. I just stood there with a bit of a stunned face. The second time was a woman who came up and scooped all my hair up and said she was so depressed because she had cut all her hair off and didn't have the heart to grow it out again. The others were similar - a lady in the bathroom at Fred Meyer, and a woman at Petsmart while I was working there. (She actually asked first)

Anyway, yeah. Not nearly so bad as a drunkard yanking my hair. OUCH!

[marialena]

Fortunately all my friends have long hair, ( I don't know exactly the reasons for that.. other because they're rockers, other boho's, hippies, actors and singers- anyway, think any kind of life style or 'fashion" as a reason for having long hair). So I never heard a rude comment about my hair from friends.

As for totally strangers they don't make rude comments because long hair, especially in women is something that both men and women here, believe that is a merit ( is this the right word? ) for a womans beauty. ( they are a little more traditional here :P ) .

But the most rude comment I ever heard was from my own older sister. She told me that I had to cut my hair because my hair make me look older. I asked her ironically: " How much older?
She said like 40 years old. " And then I started laughing and I answer her: "My dear you forgetting something. I'm already 40 years old!"
Conclusion: She wanted to say something rude,( she might feels jealous, perhaps she had other reasons-who knows) and she forgot how old I am..
( so I think I obviously don't look like my age :D :P .
But even if I lam the last thing that I would blame for that is my hair.. )

[wendyg]

There are only four people who've ever had anything negative to say to me about hair in my life. One was my mother, who was a trained hairdresser and AFAICT simply didn't like long hair. She repeatedly told me how "cute" I'd look with short hair. It was the 1970s. No one wanted to look cute with short hair. In the 1980s she shifted to, "They're not wearing their hair long any more", which went along with, "They're not wearing jeans any more" and various other correctives.

One is my sister-in-law, who actually didn't so much think I should cut it as that I should *dye* it. She has dyed her hair red as long as I've known her (we met when I was 14), and one day I asked her what color it was naturally. "Oh, a drab, mousey brown, like yours."

Third is said SiL's daughter, my niece, who asked me in the middle of a family wedding a few years ago, "Why do you let your hair go grey? Don't you *care*?"

Fourth was the hair guy on a TV show I did about ten years ago when my hair was being trashed by London water and efforts to counteract same (silicones! Pantene! Bad news for fine hair! but who knew?), and had a lot of breakage. And *this* guy thought with some exasperated frustration that I should cut it because most women's hair doesn't grow fast enough to be long and I was just in denial about that. I knew my hair was in trouble, but unlike him I also knew that it certainly *had* grown fast enough for mid-back length at least, and that its condition was utterly unlike its original self. I declined to let him touch my hair and backed away. I can understand his attitude, but I've always wished I could explain to him that he shouldn't assume that everyone had the same problems, and that he could, you know, *listen* once in a while.

As obnoxious as I thought he was, though, he was probably the least rude of the four because in fact he was there to help people look good on TV and was doing his job, in however ham-fisted a way. The SiL and her daughter I just thought were absurd. My mother was annoying, just because it was so persistent - but still irrelevant.

wg

[MissBiss]

I've never understood this latent animosity for long hair. Sure, friends and family "suggest" you cut it, but why in the world do they care? It's nice to offer advice on fashion and the like, I guess, but usually I have to ask for someone's opinion. When it comes to hair, they seem ready and willing to offer their two cents regardless of if I care to hear it or not. >.>
I have an admission to make: I have opinions about other people's hair that I sometimes express, or at least have done so in the past. My latest victim was a co-worker with the most beautiful, lush *curly* red hair I've ever seen. She told me how much she likes my curls, how did I style it, etc., etc. I replied that she would have beautiful curls if she stopped brushing her hair and told her about jessicurl.com who reminded me of her; I even forwarded her pics of Jess's brushed/unbrushed hair. I'm sure she was offended, the part where she said "how do you style it?" being purely rhetorical. When that co-worker complimented me and asked what I do, I should have said, "thanks, nothing much" and kept it moving. Needless to say I don't give hair advice outside of forums like this one anymore.

I would guess that as hair is so easily modified, has no nerve endings, and the longer it is the further it is from the head & body, people perceive it as less personal than skin, boob/butt size, etc. So they feel free to suggest "improvements" and touch it.

[BranwenWolf]

The worst was the hair stylists in the salon where my mom would go. It was attached to a mall so I'd wander the mall while she was getting a color/perm and check in now and then.

They were always touching me and making loud, rude comments on how they'd like to cut my hair, how I needed a haircut, etc. I couldn't believe how rude they were being to a potential customer. I never had the nerve to say anything and I probably should have. And the stylists themselves had some of the ugliest hair I've ever seen- all short and spikey and bleached, with so much hairspray it looked plastic.

I get the occasional comment on my intelligence or sexual prowess (from complete strangers) because I'm a natural blonde. Yeah, hair color is an automatic indicator of intelligence, right?!?

No one has started asking me why don't I cut my hair yet- I got that so much when I was at classic length. I ran out of good answers a long time ago- anyone got one??


ETA: To JessicaVonMaim, the thread starter: you do know that you can flag the staff down at a university event and get an unruly drunk person thrown out of the stadium, right?
Granted I probably would have done the same thing you did- be gobsmacked and shocked, but please keep it in mind for future events. No one likes a boor at games or concerts, they ruin it for everyone else.

[goatgal]

I'm pretty sure what he did could be considered assault. I'd have had him thrown out of the stadium. If he's drunk, I certainly wouldn't try to reason with him or engage him in any way. An escort out of the game might get his attention.

[spidermom]

The only person who has said anything rude about my hair was my father when I visited him last summer. He said "It looks like a big mess." Background on this guy - he left our family (2 sisters, mom, me) when I was about 14 years old for a woman that he was married to for 38 years and who died of cancer - which is why I was visiting. Some nerve, yes? Oh well, he's just a sad old man who is basically all alone in the world now, and I really don't care what he thinks about my hair.

[s_tresses]

I dont know if its just me but nowadays I see a lot of long haired girls, especially in college. I think they like long hair and would comment on it, but only if it was styled, which is a totally separate issue.

[RancheroTheBee]

I've never had anyone in my family make much in the way of negative or harmful comments about my hair. My mother used to tell me to cut my hair in high school, but in her defense, my hair was breaking off all over the place and I really did need to cut it.

My father is the one who insists I "go natural" and stop dyeing it, and grow it out. Of course, I only now began listening to him. :rolleyes:

Haha. I got a lot of flak from a friend who is in hairdressing after I told her I'd used henna.

"Ugh! Henna?! That's the worst thing you could ever put in your hair."

She had bleached hair. :hmm:

[Jules diamond]

I was visiting my grandparents and a lot of my family was over. When it came time for her to leave, my great aunt came over to me and said "Alright dear, take care. And get yourself a nice haircut." My hair was just past APL, at that point where it gets poofy easily. I was growing it out again. I felt so bad about it that I cut it short a few weeks after.

[marialena]

The worst was the hair stylists in the salon where my mom would go. It was attached to a mall so I'd wander the mall while she was getting a color/perm and check in now and then.

They were always touching me and making loud, rude comments on how they'd like to cut my hair, how I needed a haircut, etc. I couldn't believe how rude they were being to a potential customer. I never had the nerve to say anything and I probably should have. And the stylists themselves had some of the ugliest hair I've ever seen- all short and spikey and bleached, with so much hairspray it looked plastic.

I get the occasional comment on my intelligence or sexual prowess (from complete strangers) because I'm a natural blonde. Yeah, hair color is an automatic indicator of intelligence, right?!?

No one has started asking me why don't I cut my hair yet- I got that so much when I was at classic length. I ran out of good answers a long time ago- anyone got one??


[...]

You reminded me a similar experience with a rude stylist in a salon that I went once as company to a friend of mine.

When my friend went to wash her hair the stylist started saying to me that he would like to cut my hair and make it red ( tomato red :rolleyes:) with yellow highlights ( banana yellow- he also saw me samples of the colors :brickwall).

I told him that he wouldn't have had this pleasure because my husband would probably kill him if he saw me with my hair colored like this . :p:D:D
I think I scared him enough because he didn't talk to me for the rest of the time that we stayed there. :D:D

It's strange, I don't know if this is only my idea, but I think that stylists get crazy somehow when they see long and "virgin" hair.. They want to cut it, bleach it, and do whatever they can to "destroy" them and I really don't know why..

[marialena]

There are only four people who've ever had anything negative to say to me about hair in my life. One was my mother, who was a trained hairdresser and AFAICT simply didn't like long hair. She repeatedly told me how "cute" I'd look with short hair.[...] The SiL and her daughter I just thought were absurd. My mother was annoying, just because it was so persistent - but still irrelevant.

wg

Have you noticed that the worst things you can hear them from relatives??

[Speckla]

I've said this here before -
but a lady at work told me that growing my hair is fine but I should consider cutting it when I turn 35. She also said that older women with long ringlets just look childish and ridiculous like they're trying to be young when they're not. I have 7 more months until I have to cut - not! How are ringlets childish if that's what hair does naturally?

[JessicaVonMaim]

ETA: To JessicaVonMaim, the thread starter: you do know that you can flag the staff down at a university event and get an unruly drunk person thrown out of the stadium, right?
Granted I probably would have done the same thing you did- be gobsmacked and shocked, but please keep it in mind for future events. No one likes a boor at games or concerts, they ruin it for everyone else.

The only problem is that a lot of people at the game are drunk and unruly. It would have been nice if he had gotten thrown out, but then his drunk friends around him would have probably just picked up where he left off. I really wish I would have just handled it better myself :o.

[Anje]

Ick. I'm lucky -- I haven't had any negative comments yet, except for the occasional LoL suggestion. (That, I don't consider negative -- for all the misinformation, they're suggesting that your hair is nice enough that someone else would like to wear it.)

If the jerk had been pulling my ponytail, he probably would have gotten a stern warning the first time, and I would have at least attempt to deck him when he did it again. (I'm not sure I could come close to dropping a guy with a single punch, but it seems like a great opportunity to find out.)

ETA: At Kristen Marie: Search the forum for Locks of Love. They're not as wonderful an organization as all that, mostly because they get donations they don't use because of condition or lack of demand, so they sell or throw away most of what they get, significantly padding their pocketbooks in the process.

[sofia9283]

My sister is the only one in my family who has said I should cut my hair. My sister says the typical 'you would look so much better with short hair'. I reply that funny enough I think she would look much better with long hair.
I get compliments all the time from strangers, mostly men, saying they absolutely LOVE my hair and their girlfriend/wife is in the process of growing their hair or wish they would.
Outside of my family I've only gotten negative comments from salon staff saying 'Gosh, your hair is so long' as if it's a bad thing. Which I guess for them it is because they're not experienced enough to care for it. The whole time I'm thinking to myself how much better my hair looks than theirs even with my split ends.
I used to work in a building where the woman down the hall from me was a long hair. We always used to compliment each other on our hair. I told her I was jealous of her because her hair was in such good shape. She was in her 40's, a natural blond, and had such gorgeous hair. Lauranne, if you're reading this, how are you?:)
It's sickening how jealous people can be because they don't have the patience to grow their hair out. I can't fathom why some women cut their hair so short as it doesn't look very attractive for their face. But it's not my hair so why would I care?

[hennaphile]

my grandma used to tell me to get "a nice summer haircut'"

in middle school people would make comments. i was sarcastic; i usually followed with a snarky retort

[Heidi_234]

I never had a bad experience myself, but I was utterly amazed when my dear grandmother, who is very supportive of me growing my hair very long, told my mother right in front of me that she's too old to have her hair long (My mother has soft 1c-ish hair that grows really nicely, she almost got to waist before going to a hair salon for reason unknown). I was shocked! How can you tell somebody something like this?!
At least I don't need to take sh*t from random people because over here most of young women have at least waist length hair, so mine isn't long at all.

[Lixie]

In secondary school, a girl in my class would constantly insult my then hip-length hair. She even went so far as to offer me money to cut it. Her insults didn't really bother me, I just remember thinking she was incredibly strange.

My favourite comment was when I was told my hair made me look like a zombie. :D I'm a huge fan of zombie horror and the person who said it absolutely hates my hair, so I just laughed and thanked her for the compliment.

[princess]

I have seen a few people post about people saying rude things to them about their hair, or telling them they should cut it, etc. And I had a pretty bad experience myself this year at one of my university's football games. There was a guy behind me who would come to every game drunk as a skunk and yell rude/stupid things at everyone, and overall just be obnoxious. Well one game he randomly decided to yank my hair! He did it not once, not twice, but three times, and very hard! I didn't know how to react, I haven't had my hair pulled since I was like seven and in a fight over a barbie doll. He pulled it so hard that it practically pulled it out of the pony tail. I know I should have turned around and let him have it, but I was too shocked to do anything (not to mention I am a very shy and nervous person).

So I guess I am curious at what kind of experiences everyone else has had and what do you say when people are flat out rude and mean?


Constantly I have been asked by people why I do not straighten my hair and why I do not colour my hair.

Why do they ask me that? Because everybody does that and why am I not doing that?

I reply to them. My hair is still dark and not yet greyed. So why should I colour my hair. I am good as it is.

Nobody has ever bothered to touch my hair. I have heard from my older daughter that in school people used to touch her hair and she gives them back good.

[Nyghtingale]

My standard reply to people who say I should cut my hair is:
"But if I cut it now, I won't win". It confuses them enough that I can just walk away. :confused:

When my DH and I are out and we have a long hair sighting, he will now say "You're still winning" or "Uh Oh! You need to grow more", lol

[sagebabies]

I lived in Kenya for two years and my hair was nearing waist length when I first started living there (I was in the Peace Corps and this was over ten years ago) and since it was on the equator and I was in my early 20's it was very, very blond. Like platinum blond. People used to touch it all the time. Kids in the village I lived in would follow me and grab it. I couldn't go anywhere w/out people touching it. I ended up chopping it all off and instantly regretted it, because people still touched my hair.

I know there are different social norms in different countries and most of the people in my village had never seen a white person, let alone a woman w/ very long blond hair. But still!!! Don't touch my hair!!!!

They never said anything rude, in fact, they thought it was beautiful.

[pointydog]

I spent childhood summers in Sicily with my mother's family. I was very blonde then, and people would always touch my hair if it was loose. I was the lone American visitor, so I was always greeted as the 'american' or 'blond hair', followed by a run down of my family's lineage and the suspicious foreign influence that produced the light coloring discussed in great detail.

I have now had two people tell me I should donate to 'locks of love'. I told about the nice wig shop we have in town where you can buy a lovely wig (or several) for less than I just spent on a Ficcare.

I could see cutting off my hair to save for a wig if I was about to start some treatment that would make it fall out on it's own- but where to find the three other people to donate their yard-long hair to fill out a wig?? Seems like a stupid idea to me.

[JamieLeigh]

I feel very lucky, after reading these forum discussions, that the only really rude experiences I've had have been those who suggest constantly that I should donate my hair to Locks of Love. (And what really makes this rude is the fact that LoL is a farce!! If it were a legitimate charity, then I would not have as much of a problem with it) I've never had anyone to tell me that my hair is ugly or looks bad, or that I'd look better with it short. I guess because I've had it long all of my life, there is no period of time anyone can think back to, in which I "looked better" with shorter hair. :D

I really feel badly for those of you who do catch flak for wearing it long, and hope that it never happens to me. :flower:

[Suldrun]

First of all spidermom I have been away from the forums for a while and have just become active again. When I first saw your new siggy pic my first reaction was wow she looks so pretty with her hair flowing around her face, off her shoulder and down her back!!! I love it!!

Ok back on topic. I have only had one person comment on my hair since I was an adult. ( as a child it was different) I had a lady first complement the color ( henna ) and then procede to tell me that I should cut my hair and that long hair as i got older made my face look long. When I told her i was not cutting the length she said no you can keep it long you just need shaping it will help your self confidence! UMMM so first of all she does not know me . She is making the assumption that I have low self confidance and that cutting my hair would give me self confidance? yes at the time I was very withdrawn however this is because i was trying to deal with an abusive family member NOT because of my hair. Trust me in my life my looks are the least of my problems lol. She just didnt get it.

I told her I wanted to see what my terminal length and I hoped it would be like this and then i showed her a pic of me and the Countess at Renfest ( thanks Countess :) ) and she shut up lol

[RavennaNight]

I have seen a few people post about people saying rude things to them about their hair, or telling them they should cut it, etc. And I had a pretty bad experience myself this year at one of my university's football games. There was a guy behind me who would come to every game drunk as a skunk and yell rude/stupid things at everyone, and overall just be obnoxious. Well one game he randomly decided to yank my hair! He did it not once, not twice, but three times, and very hard! I didn't know how to react, I haven't had my hair pulled since I was like seven and in a fight over a barbie doll. He pulled it so hard that it practically pulled it out of the pony tail. I know I should have turned around and let him have it, but I was too shocked to do anything (not to mention I am a very shy and nervous person).

So I guess I am curious at what kind of experiences everyone else has had and what do you say when people are flat out rude and mean?

I had something very similar happen to me a number of years ago, but at a rock concert. This big, burly, bald, drunk dude standing behind me started yanking on my hair during the show. I didn't do anything but give him a dirty look and walk away.

[pdy2kn6]

what a d**k, (excuse my french). I was trying to think of a softer word to use but that one seemed the only one fitting. I can't believe he did that to you, I woul of been furious. I hate it when people do that, because you just feel, whatever you say, its already been done and your scalp is aching. Im sorry that happened. Hopefully next time you might be with a big bloke who can have a go at him. Its a bit strange no one else around told him off for doing that....

[JessicaVonMaim]

Haha, I was very tempted to give him a good elbow in the crotch (and since he was sitting up and behind me the aiming would have been perfect). His friends just kind of laughed at it and would kind of tell him to stop, but in a way that it did absolutely nothing to deter him. The people I was with didn't notice, except my roommate after the second time.

[Arctic_Mama]

Wow, some of these comments are just awful! The worst I got was from my mother, back when I was CO and not combing my curls unless they were wet. She basically called me a dirty hippy and thought my hair looked good but that by habits were gross. Pretty tame compared to some on this thread, but it made me feel really self-conscious.

[marajade]

Wow, some of these comments are just awful! The worst I got was from my mother, back when I was CO and not combing my curls unless they were wet. She basically called me a dirty hippy and thought my hair looked good but that by habits were gross. Pretty tame compared to some on this thread, but it made me feel really self-conscious.

I'm Sorry! :(


I haven't had any comments directed at me but I did discuss one time with my coworker about no-poo/WO/SO and she thought it was weird and gross and kept making fun of me for several months afterward. I have just decided to keep my thoughts to myself unless someone specifically asks me about hair.

[punky]

Anyone ever made a bad comment about my hair to my face I would simply ask them "why do you give a rats #%%".:confused: But thats just me.:D

[tiggens]

The only problem is that a lot of people at the game are drunk and unruly. It would have been nice if he had gotten thrown out, but then his drunk friends around him would have probably just picked up where he left off. I really wish I would have just handled it better myself :o.

Please don't blame yourself for not "handling" it better! That guy is an a**hole who assaulted you and you did absolutely nothing wrong. It might have made you feel better to get revenge but you did what was right for you and what kept you safe at the time.

I think long hair and women's hair gets commented on because women's bodies and weight and hair and clothes and everything are seen as open for public judgment/consumption. That opinion probably makes me a Humorless Feminist (tm) and I don't want to threadjack so I'll just leave it at that. :p

[Alana2000]

Punky that was hilarious.

[punky]

Thanks, Alana2000 I hope I never have to say that to anyone. So far so good.

[taliarose]

You know I can't remember getting a single negative comment from a stranger in my life in reguards to my hair. Clothes, lack of makeup, ect yes but never my hair. My family on the other hand does like to tell me to cut it fairly often.

[RustedAngel]

Jessica, most any bouncer will tell you that inebriated people are laughably easy to overcome in a fight. My vote would be for cracking the guy if he ever does it again. However, if you wanted to be law abiding it shouldn't be too hard to get someone who's visibly intoxicated bounced from a public event.

Just the other night I was told by the roommate/friend of a girl I was out with that I should cut my hair because I would "get so much more tail". I replied that I wasn't particularly interested in women who didn't like long hair, and I didn't think it made sense to change something I considered essential to my personality to attract more mates.

One of my favourites is when people joke that they're going to cut your hair in your sleep. I usually reply that if they did I would gouge their eyes out, remove their fingernails with pliers, cut off their hands with a chainsaw, or something in that manner.

[LittleOrca]

The only rude thing I can think of at the moment was when someone told me I was being selfish for keeping my hair and not giving it to a needy person who was bald. All I could think of was, there are tons of synthetic wigs.

[JessicaVonMaim]

Please don't blame yourself for not "handling" it better! That guy is an a**hole who assaulted you and you did absolutely nothing wrong. It might have made you feel better to get revenge but you did what was right for you and what kept you safe at the time.

I think long hair and women's hair gets commented on because women's bodies and weight and hair and clothes and everything are seen as open for public judgment/consumption. That opinion probably makes me a Humorless Feminist (tm) and I don't want to threadjack so I'll just leave it at that. :p

I am sure it is also because it is something out of the ordinary. I was picked on for my hair when I was in middle school as well, not because it was long (because it wasn't) but because it was frizzy, curly, ash blonde, and every other girl had straight, sleek hair.

I definitely don't blame myself for that prick's behavior, I just regret not turning around and giving him a few choice words :p




One of my favourites is when people joke that they're going to cut your hair in your sleep. I usually reply that if they did I would gouge their eyes out, remove their fingernails with pliers, cut off their hands with a chainsaw, or something in that manner.

it seems like you've put a lot of thought into this response :p