Almost feeling defeated

[LittleOrca]

I guess this is a little bit of a rant, but it also has questions about my hair and something that may be 'wrong' with it.

I wanted to take a sneak peek at my hair's growth for this month. I know I should expect only 1/2 an inch a month, but I was still curious. So I measured my hair. The last time I had measured it I got 35 inches, this time when I measured though it was coming up only at 33 inches. I have not noticed any extra breaking that would account for the loss of two inches of my hair in less than a month, nor had I done any dustings or trims. What would account for this off measurement? Obviously human error, but why?

I am unsure about what factors were in play when I measured my hair earlier this month and got a 35 in reading. Tonight, my hair had been washed, but was completely dry at this point. Could the wave in my hair had been less relaxed because it was just washed and therefore my hair appear shorter? Or is it just the wave in general that give my hair a shorter measure this time? I know curled hair is longer when pulled out of coil, and I could have previously pulled my ends longer when I was attempting to line up the ends to the measuring tape.

I just feel like I am going backwards and not forwards with my hair growth. I look around here at all the lovely ladies and gentlemen with long hair and see them go from shoulders to waist in 2 years, where as I have been growing mine out for about 10 years from a chin cut (after a pixie to grow it out even, though it 'fairytaled' on its own anyways.)

I know my swimming comes into play here, and a lot of fingers will be pointed at the pool for that. While my ends look a little thinner than they were 2 years ago, my hair has been more recently pampered [like a toy dog in a rich widow's house] after a trip to the pool. It's washed, given a moment to relax, and then gets a nice long CO soak at home for abut 30 minutes. I know that wouldn't work for everyone, but it gets my hair soft, manageable, and feels normal the following day. While swimming, it is in a braid or swim cap, save for when I am having photos done of my tail.

It's so terrible that I envy the other hair so much. It's a strange kind of envy. I am not jealouse of it, nor mad I don't have that head of hair, but I am saddened that my hair has not done as good of a job in its growth. I take MSM pills, vitamins, have worked on improving my diet, drink more water, and to have the inches tell me I'm going backwards makes me want to curl up in my little fishbowl and give up on the pampering of the hair period.

I am feeling lost and need both help and support.

[DragonLady]

That keeps happening to me, too, and my hair is stick-straight. I think it's just that it's hard to find a straight line with the tape from point a to point b. If it's on a bit of an angle when you measure, it will read longer than it should. I have my DH do it, but even so, it's hard to get the same number twice.

[RancheroTheBee]

I know how you feel. I shaved my head nearly two years ago, and I feel like a complete failure for not having APL hair already. I almost want to give up and just do whatever I want with my hair, if it's going to grow so slowly even with the benefit of all the nice treatment.

PS: I doubt you lost two inches this month. I think the measuring system we use here is slightly flawed and any number of circumstances can screw it up. :) So don't worry.

[Omens]

I agree with DragonLady, it is really hard to get the same number twice. I can't say how many times I get a different number. Particularly if you have wave or curl, it's always going to be a bit of a hit and miss, even more so when you're trying to take the measurements yourself.

Really, don't fret over it too much. The numbers are iffy. If your hair looks healthy and you are making an effort to take extra good care of it due to the swimming, it is probably growing. (I will also mention that it looks SO cool in your videos!).

Try not to compare it to others' hair (I know it's hard...). We're all different, therefore our hair is different. Some of us have to be very patient for the length to show itself, unfortunately.

Wait a couple of months and see what happens. I think by then you might start seeing a difference. I never seem to notice much if I try to measure every month.

Hope that makes you feel a little better. :flowers:

[Rebelkat]

That keeps happening to me, too, and my hair is stick-straight. I think it's just that it's hard to find a straight line with the tape from point a to point b. If it's on a bit of an angle when you measure, it will read longer than it should. I have my DH do it, but even so, it's hard to get the same number twice.
I agree with DragonLady. It can be difficult to get consistent readings this way. I'd say it's probably just an illusion caused by where your measurements began and ended. Nothing to worry about. :redgrin:

[Heavenly Locks]

When I feel this way, I look at photos from when I thought my hair was short. :)

[Poppy Seed]

You could also have hit a random "stall" - lots of people do have times when their hair seems to stop growing for a while and then suddenly starts again. To be fair though, a loss of two inches does seem unlikely, and so it is probably combination of the measuring systems and perhaps a stall too.

The only other thing I can think of to mention is: when it isn't in the pool, do you wear it up? If not, you might want to try that, and possibly even with damp bunning using one of the many moisturising mists which can be found in the recipes. Generally, people who wear their hair down tend to find it doesn't grow quite as fast as for those who leave it up. (And yes, it's partly psychological: if you wear it up for ages, you kind of "forget" how long it is, and then when you randomly decide to wear it down one day you catch sight of it and go "WOW!")

Of course, Omens has it right: your hair is unique to you. So don't worry, keep pampering it and put it up and try to forget about it the rest of the time (if you don't already).

(Btw: hair envy and "ennui" like this doesn't only affect shorter or mid-length haired people....)

[Debra83]

I ONLY measure by pictures now - I'm not ever attempting a measuring tape again because it NEVER comes out the same # twice. But, through pictures I can tell how long it is getting easy!!! SOOO much Less Stress!!!

[Rebelkat]

Generally, people who wear their hair down tend to find it doesn't grow quite as fast as for those who leave it up. (And yes, it's partly psychological: if you wear it up for ages, you kind of "forget" how long it is, and then when you randomly decide to wear it down one day you catch sight of it and go "WOW!")
:hmm:
Perhaps it does grow slightly faster when you wear it up all the time, due to the stimulation from the tugging caused by putting your hair up. In theory, that could increase circulation (like using a BBB or massaging the scalp), which could in turn increase the amount your hair grows. Plus, leaving it up would prevent damage as well, meaning less breakage.

[LittleOrca]

Thanks all for the support. I could give up measuring it in inches and go by body parts, it might be less stressful. Whether it's 33 in or 35, I know it's tail bone, or what was otherwise determined to be a little past butt-crack length.

I guess seeing all the pretty hair around here just got me feeling more self conscious about my own hair and my 'lack' of progress.



The only other thing I can think of to mention is: when it isn't in the pool, do you wear it up? I

I do wear it up a lot more than I used to. Back in college it was down all the time, but now I have it up in twists, EZ combs, sticks, sock buns, and anything else I can manage to do. I also give it a spritz one a day with a leave in conditioner.

[Carolyn]

Did you measure with the same tape? Tapes can vary some. Were the circumstances the same for both measurings? You said your hair was freshly washed but dry the second time. Was that true for the previous measuring? Did you pull the ends of your hair down and stretch out your waves? If you didn't, that could make a huge difference.

[janeytilllie]

I think its most likely a false measurement. I have had this too. I have wavy hair so its very difficult to get exact measurement. So to remdy this I only measure by pics once a month. Im very sure theres nothing to worry about :) And I think your hair is very long and beautiful! :D

[Nat242]

:grouphug:

I know what it's like to feel frustrated by your progress (or apparent lack thereof). All I can recommend is to STOP measuring - it's always going to be inaccurate and just stress you out. Do the best you can by your hair, and be content with it. Play with updos and new styles to keep yourself interested in your hair and take pride in it.

Don't measure, and don't expect to see visible changes every month. Some of us (myself included) have hair that grows slowly - and having even slight waves can suck up length. Expecting noticeable length progress every month is setting yourself up for disappointment. You'll get there! No need to hurry :D

[Katze]

:grouphug:

I know what it's like to feel frustrated by your progress (or apparent lack thereof). All I can recommend is to STOP measuring - it's always going to be inaccurate and just stress you out. Do the best you can by your hair, and be content with it. Play with updos and new styles to keep yourself interested in your hair and take pride in it.

Don't measure, and don't expect to see visible changes every month. Some of us (myself included) have hair that grows slowly - and having even slight waves can suck up length. Expecting noticeable length progress every month is setting yourself up for disappointment. You'll get there! No need to hurry :D

I can only second this. Focus on keeping your lovely hair happy and healthy, and don't worry about the numbers - after all they are just numbers. If you are treating your hair as well as it sounds like you are, then it will grow. Besides which, 33 inches is already LONG. :)

[AmyJorgensen]

I guess this is crazy talk, but if you are really worried that you are losing length...you could do a one time test where you pull out at the root your longest (or most representative) hair and measure it...and then do it again a few months later.

[EdG]

I wouldn't worry. It's hard to make a measurement accurate to within an inch or two. :)


It's so terrible that I envy the other hair so much. It's a strange kind of envy. I am not jealous of it, nor mad I don't have that head of hair, but I am saddened that my hair has not done as good of a job in its growth. You're not alone. This board tends to make all members feel that way.

I used to consider myself to be a hair god before I joined the board. Now, I feel rather mediocre.

I remind myself that LHC members have the absolutely nicest hair that one could find anywhere. The members of this board are truly amazing. One only has to step out into the real world to see what typical hair looks like. Being a LHC member is like being in the 95th percentile of the population, hair-wise. ;)

The other thing to remember is that hair is individual, just like everything else about one's body. I think it's a good thing that each person is unique.

I hope this helps. :)
Ed

[Curlsgirl]

I guess this is crazy talk, but if you are really worried that you are losing length...you could do a one time test where you pull out at the root your longest (or most representative) hair and measure it...and then do it again a few months later.

Hmmmm I am thinking this would not work because it would be different depending on where you pulled it out of your scalp. :)

[LittleOrca]

Thanks again, I am feeling a little better.


Did you measure with the same tape? Tapes can vary some. Were the circumstances the same for both measurings? You said your hair was freshly washed but dry the second time. Was that true for the previous measuring? Did you pull the ends of your hair down and stretch out your waves? If you didn't, that could make a huge difference.

The measuring tape was the same, both times the hair was dry, but I am not sure if I had just washed before in the measure before this. I might have pulled, I don't quite remember. Been really busy this month and it feels like it has been a year since the last measure.

I'm just not going to let it bother me anymore and I'm going to use body parts to measure my length, so I am at TBL and my next goal is classic, no matter how many or few inches it takes. :)

[Honey39]

I have to share something - I have no idea how people measure their hair with a tape measure, unless someone else does it for them! I tried once, and the tape sort of curled up and I couldn't tell what the length was!!!!

I check progress by taking pics of my hair - I actually take a lot of pics of my hair, I'm so sad, lol. I kind of have the idea of one day joining them all together so I can see my hair grow from shoulder to waist in a twenty second film! That's the best way to me of marking progress - I stand in the same position (from the back and from the side), and take an automatic shot. That's shown me objectively that since last June my hair has grown about five inches - it's very comforting!

You have lovely hair, btw.

[embee]

Put away the tape measure. No point in it, false readings, troubles all 'round, plus it's hard to do.

I worried about my hair length until one day I sat down at my computer and I had sat on the ends of my hair! At that point I realized it was *long* for me, not only long, but Very Long. Longer than it had ever been. When I try to figure it out I know the longest hairs come a bit below my finger tips and I call it classic, and I'm pretty sure it's terminal too. That's ok, it's lots of fun, I have some neat toys, I can do several comfy updo styles, people ask me how long my hair is, and so forth.

As EdG says, LHC is a different world, it's not like the real world, the big blue room. Here, there's always somebody with "better hair".

[enfys]

Use your tape measure backwards and pretend the cms are the inches, and your hair will be 2.54 times longer instantly!

So so many things can affect readings. I lost an inch last month. How did I get from 29 to 28? I was gutted then too. But I have to admit it's feeling longer and that's what counts.

Maybe it shrank in the wash! Was the water too hot?

[GlassEyes]

It's probably your wave. I wouldn't worry too much.

It could even be head tilt, or any other factors. Hair length measuring isn't an exact art, which is exactly WHY I don't. XD Pictures and body markers suit me better.

[Unofficial_Rose]

I remind myself that LHC members have the absolutely nicest hair that one could find anywhere. The members of this board are truly amazing. One only has to step out into the real world to see what typical hair looks like.
Ed

This is SO TRUE. You only have to go out into the world (esp. on a train, bus etc.) to see how many people just about murder their hair with processing. And down to your butt crack is really long by anyone's standards!

This might make you feel better: I bleached my hair last summer and it went green from the indigo, so had to be cut short. I didn't look as good blonde as I remembered. Five months of seriously ugly hair. I'm now exactly where I was this time last year, i.e. it's a one-length hendigo'd brown. I have 2 inches to go before it's where it was last summer before I murdered it with bleach. Oh, yeah, and it's not even down to my shoulders! How about that for frustration? :justy:

[spidermom]

I've had that frustrating feeling of "how in the world did I lose significant length?" I was anxiously awaiting waist length, which I checked by always securing the same belt around my waist and seeing where my ends hit. For awhile the ends were at a length where they overlapped the belt a bit, and all of a sudden one day they didn't even touch the belt. I checked again and again and again over several days, and it was true - my hair was suddenly shorter. The only thing I can think is that all of my longest hairs shed out at once.

My hair has been growing pretty fast since it reached hip length and I held there for nearly a year to trim off all the worst damage.

[eyesofsummer]

Please, please keep pampering your hair! It's beautiful, and I'm sure that's all due to the care you give it :)
As for the missing inches, I'm going to echo people above and say it's probably just a measuring error. It's true that swimming can be tough on the hair, but it's such a good form of exercise, and it sounds like you're babying it nicely after. Maybe try soaking your hair in conditioner before swims, too? I think that and a good swim cap will keep the chlorine from penetrating and drying out your hair too much.

[carinkla]

dont worry I have at most only 1 cm at most a month. I know of someone who is my hairtwin on a duch forum who has even less..but she has the most wonderfull and for iii even thick hair. It also took me about 14 years to come from shoulder lenght to classic. Mostly do to a hairdresser who cu t more then the growth and a sacrifise of 15 cm last year to gain more thickness at the ends

[Anje]

Remember that:
1) Your waves might be tighter or looser on any given day, which could make a significant difference in length.
2) The wonderful hair pictures that you see on LHC are mostly from when everything was freshly combed or treated so it looked at it's best, or when the updo was just finished. You're less likely to see how hair looks when someone gets up in the morning, or at the end of a long day, when things normally look more ragged.
3) Stalls are pretty normal. I stalled for about 5 months when I first joined here... and somehow my hair made a fairly normal year's worth of growth after I'd been here for a year despite the stall. Sometimes it seems like it needs to gather itself up a bit for a growth sprint.

[30isthenewblack]

I wouldn't worry about this so much Little Orca :smile: I found that my curly hair has done the same thing recently and as a result, I didn't bother to measure at the start of March like I usually do. It may be stalling but I'll continue to keep on taking my hair vitamins and put oil in my hair as I usually do. It looks visibly longer anyway which is what I'm concerned more about and I received two compliments last week telling me that it was growing really long :smile: Everything comes at a compromise and would you really giving up your love of swimming for your love of hair ... I think NOT! Besides, I agree that 33" or 35" is long (in my world anyway hehe)

[Tabitha]

I can understand how hanging out here with all the wonderful hair can make this worse. Ed and Rose are spot on in their comments. I've reached a personal compromise with my hair that involved a chop to BSL and this suits me and my lifestyle, level of patience and so many things - yet still I can find myself at times looking at all the fabulous hair here and then rueing the cut, and wishing I could grow to tailbone or even longer.

And when I was still growing, I found (with wavy hair, and nobody to help me measure) that my measuring was very erratic so after a while I just stopped doing it. My hair was growing just as fast, or as slowly, whether I measured it or not.

As well as not measuring, would it be a radical idea for you to turn avatars and signatures off for a while, and not look at threads about measuring, or growth?

And I just wanted to say, your hair is already beautiful and fits so well with your mermaid persona. :flowers:

[Peggy E.]

I'm not quite sure that's it's such a good idea to do that much measuring of your hair. Makes me think of when I was in high school and on constant - and I do mean CONSTANT - diets: Weighed in the morning when I got up, before I left for school, right after what would have been lunch (didn't eat), when I got home after school, right after dinner (didn't eat), right before bed. If I got up during the night for any reason, I'd weigh myself.

Maybe insanity runs in my family....

I try to stay away from anything that requires monitoring of physical progress, knowing I'm going to be monitoring the living daylights out of it! I don't measure it anymore. It really makes no difference - it's not a matter of whether I can do something or not do something unless I'm at a certain length.

So why set yourself up for possible disappointment, when your hair looks long and gorgeous? It's beautiful, you love it - then you discover it didn't grow as much as you wanted it to this month. Now you're upset, what's wrong with my hair, what am I doing wrong?

This is my strange take on it all, anyway. I don't need the numbers, I can see it every day and know how it's doing.

[Cinnamon Hair]

LittleOrca, nothing is wrong with your hair! Certainly you don't believe you really lost 2 inches in a month? That's nonsense. If you measure yourself there's a lot of room for error. I can measure my hair 5 times in a row and get a different number each time. Maybe it would be more beneficial to take monthly photos of your length. Or seasonal photos every 4 months, or something like that. (Since hair grows so slow monthly might be overkill --I know it would be for me, often I don't grow at all.)

You have only been on LHC for the better part of 2 months. Don't bug out on all the little things you do wrong or could be doing better. You're over thinking it --"why them and not me?" right? People who grow from shoulder to waist in 2 years are just lucky. For most of us it has taken a very long time to grow to the length we have now. Your hair looks beautiful at its current length. Please try to be patient and your hair will grow in its own time; it's not a race.

I know you're just ranting, but seriously... save this thread and you'll laugh when you look back at it in a couple years and see how far you have come.

[Cinnamon Hair]

ETA:


I used to consider myself to be a hair god before I joined the board. Now, I feel rather mediocre.

You are a hair god, EdG. I know how you feel though. There are a few members who I remember from years back when they first joined, with hair shorter than mine, that have now passed me in growth. One almost to the floor. That used to bother me, but the numbers game is so not worth it. Or the whose hair is thicker than whose. Or whose is wavy/curlier. Or a nicer color. etc. etc. I have the hair on my head and I'll never have anyone else's, but mine is good enough for me. :)

[EdG]

You are a hair god, EdG.Thank you. Cinnamon Hair, you are a true hair goddess. :)


I know how you feel though. There are a few members who I remember from years back when they first joined, with hair shorter than mine, that have now passed me in growth. One almost to the floor. That used to bother me, but the numbers game is so not worth it. Or the whose hair is thicker than whose. Or whose is wavy/curlier. Or a nicer color. etc. etc. I have the hair on my head and I'll never have anyone else's, but mine is good enough for me. :)That's a great way to think about one's hair. I too am not concerned about something that I can't control. I figure since one gets the hair that one gets (genetically), the best that one can do is to take good care of it. :)
Ed

[LutraLutra]

When I first joined this board I tried to measure my hair 4 times - I made sure I kept my head straight, I used a dressmakers tape measure (one that doesn't stretch), and measured from the point of my widows peak to the ends of my hair - and each time I got a hugely different lenght. So now I just take a photo once a month.

I'd love to have hair as long as yours is right now, so would a lot of people here. Your hair looks great, honest. :)

[jera]

When I feel this way, I look at photos from when I thought my hair was short. :)

I do that too. :) And it helps.

As DragonLady says, it is hard to get the same measurement twice, and your hair Little Orca, is wavy like mine.

This used to bother me alot, but doesn't since I joined LHC. I pay more attention to 3 month gains than monthly ones. It lifts my spirits and prevents nervous trims because I don't feel like my hair is living up to my expectattions.

[JamieLeigh]

Isn't this site wonderful? Look at all of the support you've been given? :D I think you have beautiful hair, and if you're doing everything you can think of to protect and pamper it, then you're on the right track, regardless of what the tape measure says. I agree with what others have said; it's hard to get an accurate measurement when you do it on yourself - and even if you have your DF measure for you, it's possible to have the tape in an entirely different spot and not realize it.

As long as you know you're doing the right things for your hair, you should feel completely awesome about it. Everyone is different, and eventually even the "fastest" growers will go through something of a stall, and you can be the first one to give them support when they feel down about THEIR growth. :)

[jojo]

Measuring is only a guide and not an exact science, I used measure mine obsessively every month and would get frustrated. Now I use photos and only try to measure every few months.

[MadPirateBippy]

This happend to me a couple of times, with full out panicked posts. Here is a simple question that I wish I would have asked myself-

Did you comb your hair before you measured? Little lovely rumples in your hair eat length like no ones business. Make sure you comb before you measure.