View Full Version : The urge to start again

March 15th, 2009, 11:03 AM
I'm sure most of you with dyed or damaged hair have experienced "the urge" - the urge to cut it all of and start again.

At the moment I am fighting really hard against the urge! I'm going through a MAJOR shed, so my hair is looking really thin and straggly, it's all different (revolting, faded) colours because I cannot maintain an even brown from top to bottom due to different layers of dye, and it's just not as shiny and silky as it used to be.

I have a massive, massive urge to just cut it in to a longish/shoulder length bob, and START AGAIN. That way growing out my natural colour is realistic - with a good years worth of trimming all the dye would be gone - and then if I don't like my natural colour, and can just dye it ONE, straight brown, and keep it that way (and not have to fight black and bleach.)

I know that I can't get the courage to do it, because - obviously - I love my long hair. But I am really stressed about how revolting it is looking lately. I can't get a good colour, it's dull and crunchy, even though I take good care of it.

Has anybody else felt this way, and if so, how did you deal with it? Has anybody actually gone through with their urge and cut their hair off!?

March 15th, 2009, 11:09 AM
I have felt that way before, but I couldn't do it. I had highlights I was trying to grow out, and every time I colored it back to natural using box color, it would fade to orangeish. I started going to the salon and doing deposit only color, and eventually it grew out. I just couldn't cut it! Mine is very curly, and I was afraid of it looking like a giant brown cottonball without the weight of the hair to keep it under control.

March 15th, 2009, 11:16 AM
I understand that feeling very well. I've cut out a lot of length to get rid of flat-iron and curling iron damage, I'd estimate a good 10-12 inches since 2005. Damaged hair matts and knots up; I'd rather enjoy my hair than fight it, so I don't mind losing that length one little bit.

March 15th, 2009, 11:26 AM
You make a good point spidermom - I would rather have beautiful, shiny, soft hair at any length, rather than long, unhealthy and dull hair.

Eeeek I'm feeling snippy! Maybe if I just did 2 inches every few months...

March 15th, 2009, 11:27 AM
oh yes, especially in the semi early stages of growing when I hadn't gotten my old damaged length matched to my roots. Now it's fine, but I feel your pain!
Do you want a brown? Have you tried all the indigo/henna mixes and the henna cacas from lush? An indigo gloss might help? Deposit only colours that stays a little bit longer like stargazer/manic panic? Or just regular deposit only ones. Oh, and just to let you know, I always admire your avatar with that silky straight black hair, awesome!:)

March 15th, 2009, 11:29 AM
I'd say cut if it's too tangled to detangle or breaks from damage but perhaps you need a good DT or new daily conditioner with uber moisturization abilities to help you.

I'd suggest cutting a few inches off at a time instead of one big chop. That way you won't regret cutting too much off it you didn't have to.
Mflb (http://vaporizer.org/reviews/magic-flight-launch-box)

March 15th, 2009, 11:38 AM
I wish I had the hair in my avatar back!

It's sliiightly longer now - but I STUPIDLY got layers cut into the sides aroud my face, which has made the lengths looks much thinner. I also got it stripped from black to dark brown, and have been dying it brown with dye, henna - you name it - since then. Henna and indigo did nothing for me.

Expect a "back to black?" poll soon!

March 15th, 2009, 11:40 AM
I have, because I've been known to abuse my hair and get split ends. I just know that I'm really too scared to do so, and if I ever mention it to DBF he tells me not to because he likes my hair :p

If you're really not liking the variance, perhaps you could do small trims until your hair is all one colour?

Shadow Walker
March 15th, 2009, 11:48 AM
For what it's worth I've always thought your hair looked gorgeous with any color (though I am partial to the way black looks on you). Of course it's your hair and you can do what you want with it, but I'd second your suggestion about cutting an inch or two per month if that's what you plan to do. Maybe you could post a more recent plcture? I never saw anything majorly wrong with your hair before, the color seemed a tad off in some spots but nothing too terrible, at least from what I could see.

Expect a "back to black?" poll soon!

Here's one yes vote! :p

March 15th, 2009, 11:49 AM
I almost had that same urge a few weeks ago, and was thinking about cutting back, until I realized that my longest layers are just hitting hip, my goal length, and that I can now stay here and maintain the length (maybe go to TB?)

March 15th, 2009, 11:58 AM
This is what I did-I would not recommend an extreme chop.

I would do a good trim, try clarifying and some deep treatments, maybe try the catnip tea for split ends (I haven't tried this yet but I've read high recommendations as you probably have seen), and then I would put it up as much as possible and forget about it for now.

In another month, I would evaluate to see if you want to trim off some more.

I would do gradual trims like you mentioned, because I chopped to chin length and it's driving me crazy to try to grow it back out, and not being able to get it into a poneytail is also rough. (I can now...but it still looks like a pitiful poney.)

Now, don't get me wrong, I think a nice chin-length angle cut is very sexy on some women, but I personally can't handle it as I miss my long hair. So, if you think you would like a very short cut, then you could get it over with and go for the plunge. But, like I said, my first suggestion is to go with gradual trims and some treatments.

Let us know what you decide:D

March 15th, 2009, 01:26 PM
Just to offer the opposite opinion from Lenac- I got my hair chopped from waist to chin last year, and I give it a thumbs up.

I do enjoy my hair short as well as long, and it was fun to have completely fresh ends and shiny bouncy virgin hair that dried in just a few hours! Of course, now it's in an annoying inbetween length as I grow it out again, so I am a little impatient. But I liked the change, and if I had it to do all over again, I would.

Have you had shoulder-length hair before? Did you like it? If not, maybe there's a shorter-but-not-that-short length you could chop to and then maintain there for a while until your damage grows out.

And I also love the glossy black hair in your avatar. Beautiful!:toast:

March 15th, 2009, 02:15 PM
I posted about this yesterday! I know how you feel; I have a 'tidemark' at the moment and I keep veering from loving my hair to wanting it gone. Thing is, though, my hair is in good condition; if yours is actually damaged then maybe you should sacrifice a few inches for the sake of the rest of it? I'm sure you don't need as much cut off as you might think, though.

*hug* Maybe you should invoke the 'two week' rule? Give it two weeks with lots of TLC and if you still want to cut then go for it?

March 15th, 2009, 03:08 PM
if you decide to go back to black you could do it with henna and indigo, that way you will have some red shining trough in certan lights and add a bith warmth. I would not chop it all off, just trim two inches every now and then.

March 15th, 2009, 03:25 PM
If you dyed it black would thatnot cover all the uneven colour? Then maybe a regular little trim to start getting rid of damage.

Unless the damage is cripplingly bad I'd leave it, and tie it up until it's all better or you aren't near scissors.

But here's another vote to black!

March 15th, 2009, 04:20 PM
I'd cut what you grow for the next year or so - an inch every couple of months, maybe slightly less. And I'd hold off the dye too, if possible. Mind you, having said that, I put highlights in every three months, so who am I to argue that?!

I think that a *good* trim now of a couple of inches will really make a huge difference, and will have grown back by June, and you can see if you want to carry on.

March 15th, 2009, 07:10 PM
You have GORGEOUS hair!! I think it's what I call 'over processed' from all the dyes. What I would do? Try some deep oiling first. I found this really helped my dry ends. For me, I oil dry, let it sit, then wash it out and then do a deep conditioning. I would then slowly trim away the splits. Don't be discouraged about your shedding---this happens to me too, I panic about losing thickness, but you aren't losing as much as you think.

there are a few things to consider---does your hair grow fast? If so, a bigger cut might be something you could handle if your hair grows quickly. However, you might regret the cut.

I've loved all of your hair photos and you are stunning--inside and out. Any cut/style would look good on you. I also like the black on you :) Do you have any current photos of your hair now?

March 15th, 2009, 07:43 PM
I have the same problem. I have been dying my hair black for years, but I've bleached, had it brown, etc.. Also, my natural hair is red, which is a really tough color to dye over---it shows up underneath every color I try.

What worked for me was leaving it alone. I just dyed the roots and ignored the rest for awhile. I know that's difficult to do, but if you do want to keep length and get it healthier, the best thing to do instead of hacking it all off is to just let it do what it wants for a good six months. By then the black might tone down some (if you're still considering brown, that is), and you'll have a good chance of getting it to a more even tone.

Also, like enfys said, just dyeing it black usually covers over anything (I dyed over a platinum streak once...:o). So if you really are considering just black, you would probably fix the problem in one good dye. You might have to touch up a little later, but nothing drastic to get it all even.

Otherwise, I would echo what everyone else has said: small trims so you don't have to take more than necessary, and so that you can ensure you're good with whatever length you end up with.

March 15th, 2009, 07:50 PM
Can you go to a wig shop? Try on a few short ones to get a feel for it first?

March 15th, 2009, 09:58 PM
I would do Micozonale treatments a couple times a month to speed up your progress and get regular small trims that way you don't have to chop off too much at once. .

March 16th, 2009, 07:32 AM
I think your hair is really pretty as black, too! I don't think you need to cut. Just baby it for a while and it will be fine. Check out Nightshade's article about damaged hair. I found it very helpful! :)

March 16th, 2009, 12:10 PM
Trims have helped me with that urge. I also had the dreaded 'orange' no matter what I did, and finally just had to bite the bullet and start growing. Corrective dye did nothing to fix the problem, as the dye faded within 2 months and I had orange to grow out again.

In your case, it sounds like you haven't quite made up your mind whether or not you want to go all natural. If black is your thing, then that's ok (but remember the health risks associated with permanent black dyes) but make absolutely sure before you dye again!

If you do want to grow out, it can be done. I bleached/dyed/highlighted my hair (mostly blonde, some black and blue and purple) for over 15 years until quitting. Even then, I highlighted once at home. But now my hair is mostly virgin and it is softer and smoother and thicker than it's ever been.

good luck!

March 16th, 2009, 08:48 PM
I used to have highlighted, straight-iron, and Japanese thermal straightened hair! You could either do some small trims like Emichiee and Nightshade and others, or you could chop it all off.

Personally speaking, I'm in the healthy-over-long group. I went from a deep-V that was past waist up to chin so I could start with healthy hair--and I enjoyed the cute short hair while it lasted. I still had that deep V cut at BSL so I chopped it to a blunt cut and went to APL, even though it was healthy hair.

Good luck whatever you decide!

March 16th, 2009, 09:46 PM
I never had the urge to chop it all off, despite how terribly damaged it was. I was happier miserable with damaged hair than miserable with short hair.

So I trimmed half my growth off a month until I reached goal, and now I'm trimming one inch every other month. Still gaining length, but gaining health along the way too :)

March 17th, 2009, 02:53 AM
I always thought your avatar was stunning, so on the basis of your opening post I had a look at your profile.

It doesn't look that uneven in the pics. I am sure you are (as we all are) far more critical of our own hair than we are of others. Actually it's very pretty either way, and most people will just see long dark hair and not notice that it's not a uniform colour. Besides, most people's natural hair has variations!

March 17th, 2009, 08:56 AM
I am going through your urge as well, gallows_gallery. Putting it up, not measuring and not really thinking about it helps. And buying fantastic hair accessories. I couldnt use them if I chopped, so thats my theory. More length = more hairtoys.

March 17th, 2009, 09:04 AM
Have you thought about maybe trimming off 5 inches or so? that would cut damage without taking you back to a bob.

Also, you could try a semi-perminent black dye like manic panic raven. it wouldn't add much damage to your hair and would get in all a uniform color.

March 17th, 2009, 09:49 AM
I feel like this now. I'm jsut pass the shoulders. If i cut it in a bob again now i would get rid of all the damage that i have on the ends. But for me it's finally long enough to pull all back. That is the part i dont want to give up.

April 17th, 2009, 02:48 PM
I used to have highlighted, straight-iron, and Japanese thermal straightened hair! You could either do some small trims like Emichiee and Nightshade and others, or you could chop it all off.

Personally speaking, I'm in the healthy-over-long group. I went from a deep-V that was past waist up to chin so I could start with healthy hair--and I enjoyed the cute short hair while it lasted. I still had that deep V cut at BSL so I chopped it to a blunt cut and went to APL, even though it was healthy hair.

Good luck whatever you decide!

I did the small trims thing, my hair is healthy and long now. As matter of fact it improved pretty quickly but it depends on the level of damage, I grew out chem. dye.