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Eireann
March 12th, 2009, 08:46 AM
I guess I must officially be a long-hair, because this morning I got the "have you ever thought of cutting your hair about to here (indicating just below shoulder. I think it would look really pretty!" Would look pretty. . .meaning it doesn't look pretty now! After she made the comment, another co-worker took the conversation to an entirely different topic (we were all chatting on the way to a coffee break, so it was sort of a free form conversation), so I was spared from responding. Then, 10 minutes later, while we were waiting for our coffees, she said "yeah, so as I was saying. . .if you cut it about to here. . ." So, obviously it was a big enough deal to her that she wouldn't even let it drop when the conversation went elsewhere. I told her that DH has a thing for long hair, so it's something I'm happy to do for him. Then I said something like, yeah, I need to get it cut pretty soon (NOT. . . but it satisfied her). I have to say, it hurt my feelings, and made we wonder just how bad my long hair looks (and it's still probably 8 inches shorter than my goal length). :-( DH constantly tells me how much he likes it and that it looks pretty. . .and another coworker just the other day said my hair looked great (I admit, I was fishing, but she did say it!) Still, it sort of stings when someone says that you "would be pretty, if. . ."

Kerynna
March 12th, 2009, 08:58 AM
Wow! She has some nerve! I think that was very rude of her to say and it would definitely have hurt my feelings a lot for someone to say it that way. What business is it of hers?! You don't wear your hair to please her (or anyone else).

I am sorry she was so tactless and shallow. She's probably envious of your beautiful long hair.

Eireann
March 12th, 2009, 09:02 AM
Thank you, Kerynna! I knew I'd get support here. :-)

JamieLeigh
March 12th, 2009, 09:09 AM
I'm with Kerynna on this. I bet she's just jealous of your hair. Odds are, your beautiful long hair is taking attention away from whatever it is that she's got going on. :p

Long hair is gorgeous, and even though DH loves it (which he should! LOL), you should grow it long because YOU love it. Not to please anyone else! Especially catty co-workers!!

Peer pressure is long hair's worst enemy. Second maybe only to patience! :)

Peggy E.
March 12th, 2009, 09:29 AM
Basically what's important has been said: Who cares what this cow thinks? And how dare her try to dump her issues on you and bring you down in the process! (Did you "accidentally" spill your coffee all over her?!)

YOU love your hair, DH loves your hair - even if DH didn't, the fact you do is the ultimate factor in how you wear your hair, be it long, short, white, green, blue. The next time she starts in on the length, which she probably will as she obviously can't take a hint, simply tell her you are very happy with your long hair and plan on keeping it for a very long time.

Then smile sweetly, pour your coffee over her head and walk away!

Anje
March 12th, 2009, 09:37 AM
I agree with JamieLeigh... How long is the coworker's hair, and if you cut to shoulder, would yours be shorter? It could definitely be that she's trying to deflect some attention from you because of your long hair.

Then again, it could be meant in a helpful, friendly way, particularly if your ends are a bit fairytaled. Lots of people in the outside world think that natural hemlines mean hair looks unkept. (Not that this excuses the rudeness of the implication. I'm just trying to find some way for her to be saying things like this without any bad feelings toward you.)

Eireann
March 12th, 2009, 09:37 AM
Thanks girls! I did have to restrain myself from making a snarky comment about her hair (I live in Washington DC, and she has the official Washington lady bubble head bob. . .and she's younger than I am!) She's generally a very sweet person, which made it all the more surprising that she made such a comment! Honestly, the things people think are "helpful". :rolleyes:

heidi w.
March 12th, 2009, 09:40 AM
I guess I must officially be a long-hair, because this morning I got the "have you ever thought of cutting your hair about to here (indicating just below shoulder. I think it would look really pretty!" Would look pretty. . .meaning it doesn't look pretty now! After she made the comment, another co-worker took the conversation to an entirely different topic (we were all chatting on the way to a coffee break, so it was sort of a free form conversation), so I was spared from responding. Then, 10 minutes later, while we were waiting for our coffees, she said "yeah, so as I was saying. . .if you cut it about to here. . ." So, obviously it was a big enough deal to her that she wouldn't even let it drop when the conversation went elsewhere. I told her that DH has a thing for long hair, so it's something I'm happy to do for him. Then I said something like, yeah, I need to get it cut pretty soon (NOT. . . but it satisfied her). I have to say, it hurt my feelings, and made we wonder just how bad my long hair looks (and it's still probably 8 inches shorter than my goal length). :-( DH constantly tells me how much he likes it and that it looks pretty. . .and another coworker just the other day said my hair looked great (I admit, I was fishing, but she did say it!) Still, it sort of stings when someone says that you "would be pretty, if. . ."

Do you believe everything you read?

No. The only people who's opinion to suffer over is the one you love (DH) and yourself. Mostly yourself.

Be content. It's beautiful.

heidi w.

Pixna
March 12th, 2009, 09:41 AM
What a rude and ignorant thing for her to say (especially in a work environment)! Only someone who is envious of your beautiful hair would have the audacity to make such a comment. Who crowned her the Queen of Know-It-All? Please don't let other people's opinions influence you. They don't know what is better for you than you do. Have pity on the poor gal, who clearly is more filled with herself than she realizes.

bouton99
March 12th, 2009, 09:42 AM
I can only agree the others, your hair-length is not your co-workers business, but only yours. And if your DH likes/loves it, it is a bonus :D

bouton

heidi w.
March 12th, 2009, 09:43 AM
Disregard ideas of jealousy .. as this will affect morale between you and this person in the office.

Let it slide off your back like water off a duck's back....and go on.

Don't get into analyzing it.

Your feelings were hurt. She was a bit forceful and insensitive. But it doesn't make her the mean weanie of the day. She thought she was being helpful (even if it wasn't).

I don't like to get into Oh, that girl's just jealous. It makes for issues that may well not need to exist.

Sometimes it really is best to ignore a person's behavior.

heidi w.

Eireann
March 12th, 2009, 09:51 AM
Disregard ideas of jealousy .. as this will affect morale between you and this person in the office.

Let it slide off your back like water off a duck's back....and go on.

Don't get into analyzing it.

Your feelings were hurt. She was a bit forceful and insensitive. But it doesn't make her the mean weanie of the day. She thought she was being helpful (even if it wasn't).

I don't like to get into Oh, that girl's just jealous. It makes for issues that may well not need to exist.

Sometimes it really is best to ignore a person's behavior.

heidi w.

I think you're right. I don't think she's jealous. I think she was honestly trying to be helpful, just not in a very tactful way. She's more "conservative" in her appearance than I am, and she probably honestly thought she was giving me good advice. I have to remind myself of the first time I cut my waist length hair to a chin-length bob back in college. I decided to do so after getting "advice" from people (mostly older women) how it would look so much better. The day before my appointment, the guy who I had had a crush on for MONTHS said "but your hair is so pretty!" I went ahead and cut it anyway, which was the right thing for me at the time, but it does go to show, everyone has a different opinion, and the only one that counts is mine (and DH, because after all, he's the target audience for my beauty. . .such as it is!)

lora410
March 12th, 2009, 09:54 AM
Don't take it personally my boss thinks long hair looks ugly :rolleyes: some people just dislike long hair in general.

Pixna
March 12th, 2009, 09:58 AM
Personally, I think offering unsolicited advice about someone's (especially a co-worker's!) appearance takes a lot of chutzpah (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chutzpah). I'm sure there are other possible motivations beyond envy -- none of them good, though. Even if she did have the best of intentions, how you wear your hair and its length is none of her business.

Yes, I agree with letting this just roll off your back. There is no point or value in letting it affect your working relationship. At the same time, I would suggest ignoring any and all similar advice from this person, and if she brings the subject up again, simply walk away. That will be sufficient for making your point, and it is unlikely she would bring it up again.

JamieLeigh
March 12th, 2009, 10:03 AM
Heidi w is probably right. I wish that I could be as open-minded about these things...but in my experiences with family and with people whom I thought were friends, in those cases, offense really was meant. But in an office situation, she's right, you can't allow those hurt feelings to develop into not trusting a person, or not wanting to socialize with her. Work would be a very very difficult place to be...and that's the last thing you want. :(

Kerynna
March 12th, 2009, 10:13 AM
I do think that envy/ jealousy is a big motivator for this type of behavior, and honestly, when I realize that someone is envious of something I have, it makes me feel more compassionate toward them.

We all feel envy sometimes. It's only human to feel that way, and while what she said was insensitive and inappropriate, it came from a deep feeling of inadequacy in her. That is a feeling we all have sometimes, so I am certainly not in a position to judge. I would treat the person with more sensitivity, knowing how she feels, rather than hold it against her.

Eireann
March 12th, 2009, 10:24 AM
Whatever her motivation, it blows my mind that anyone wouldn't know that unsolicited advice about my appearance would hurt my feelings, but I'm inclined to believe she's just insenstive (and ill mannered) rather than mean-spirited. The funny (sad?) thing is, I was thinking my hair looked particularly nice today! Maybe it isn't jealousy per se, but I do think that long hair has a sort of "wild" aspect that might make some people (especially more conformist/conservative people) uncomfortable. :shrug:

Elenna
March 12th, 2009, 10:49 AM
Several things come to mind. First, as you all say she could be jealous and wants to "even" out the competition. Second, she may have an ultra conservative mind set so that she thinks that her opinions are the only ones worth hearing about.

MsBubbles
March 12th, 2009, 10:57 AM
Comments that start off with "Have you ever thought of..." turn my stomach and get me on the defensive immediately. I applaud your restraint at not retaliating. I don't think I would have been able to stop a barrage of sarcasm coming from my mouth.

Forever_Sophie
March 12th, 2009, 11:09 AM
omg! Rude and NONE of her business!! I can't believe she wouldn't drop it! ugh.

Nightshade
March 12th, 2009, 11:21 AM
I'm with Kerynna on this. I bet she's just jealous of your hair.

*cough*Envious (http://www.wsu.edu/%7Ebrians/errors/envious.html)*cough*

;)

DelynofRhondda
March 12th, 2009, 11:27 AM
Thanks girls! I did have to restrain myself from making a snarky comment about her hair (I live in Washington DC, and she has the official Washington lady bubble head bob. . .and she's younger than I am!) She's generally a very sweet person, which made it all the more surprising that she made such a comment! Honestly, the things people think are "helpful". :rolleyes:

Eireann it may have something to do with location. ;)

Many people, women and men, in this area, appear more "in tune" with shorter hair. When I was working, it was suggested often enough I get my hair cut into a more "professional bob". Especially when I went into management.

You have lovely hair, BTW.

Wind-in-Tree
March 12th, 2009, 11:35 AM
Eireann, although I do understand how you feel, it is the best to just let it go.
Let it fly away in the wind, where it belongs.
I agree with what everyone said here.
What is most important is what you feel about yourself.

Silverlox
March 12th, 2009, 11:56 AM
The nerve to say something like that! I mean, what was she actually saying? That you should wear your hair the way she prefers? That you should cater to her taste/opinion? :blueeek:

No matter if she was trying to be helpful or had other motives, making people feel bad about their appearance is just not helpful at all! :nono:

At least you have the comfort of knowing that your manners are much better than hers! Good on you for refraining from giving a snarky reply! :flower:
I don't think I could have restrained myself from that.

Feye
March 12th, 2009, 12:55 PM
Ugh, I am sorry, that really was clumsy of her.

I fear questions like that, my plan is to wear my hair up all the time at work so that people won't know the length. Typically, the comments that I have received in the past when my hair was waist length always came after it had been down and I had fussed about it. Tangles on a windy day, for example. I think that the less I fuss, the less negative remarks I get.

I once got the comment "You don't need to have such long hair, us guys go WOW already at this length" (gesturing at about mid-back). It was someone who was trying to be helpful but it still annoyed me a little.

vampodrama
March 12th, 2009, 01:01 PM
'pretty' is a very personal preference, so to speak.

most people (and indeed most) would say (and some have said in various degrees of politeness) that I would look much prettier if I didn't have all those tattoos and big stretched earlobes and if I wore nice flowy skirts instead of mean-looking military pants with giant wallet chains.

but guess what? my idea of 'pretty' is not the same as theirs. too bad for them, huh? cos despite all of their comments, I will remain tattooed, with big stretched earlobes, wearing my mean-looking military pants with giant wallet chains and I don't give a f*** what they think.

same goes with hair. if someone says "you would look really pretty with this-and-that hairstyle" just tell them that you have your own idea of pretty and that's that.

Feye
March 12th, 2009, 01:23 PM
Disregard ideas of jealousy .. as this will affect morale between you and this person in the office.

Let it slide off your back like water off a duck's back....and go on.

Don't get into analyzing it.

Your feelings were hurt. She was a bit forceful and insensitive. But it doesn't make her the mean weanie of the day. She thought she was being helpful (even if it wasn't).

I don't like to get into Oh, that girl's just jealous. It makes for issues that may well not need to exist.

Sometimes it really is best to ignore a person's behavior.

heidi w.

I agree! In a previous post you wrote that she was generally nice, I interpret her as clumsy but good-hearted. If she brings it up again, perhaps the honest "I know that you mean well and always have such good advice, but the topic of my hair is a bit sensitive to me" would work together with a very sweet smile and a change of subject? Most of the times that I have been annoyed with my coworkers it has been a misunderstanding and easy to solve. :)

Eireann
March 12th, 2009, 03:24 PM
Ack!!! She just chimed in AGAIN! Again, unsolicited. . .asking me whether I like my bangs, and maybe I should get some highlights and layers. I guess, in her defense, long hair that's all one color looks like a blank slate that some people want to put their "creative" mark on. Still. . .I'm starting to get a little annoyed. I have many many things I could tell her about her "look", but. . . I wasn't raised that way!

heidi w.
March 12th, 2009, 03:32 PM
Alright, then let her know politely yet firmly....yet that hint of graciousness...

I know you're trying to make suggestions, and perhaps you're having fun thinking of all these ideas. But I have to be honest with you. I like my hair, my husband LOVES my hair, the way it is and find this attention unwarranted. Can we just agree that my hair is not a topic of conversation and creative ideas?

She'll get it.

If she's reasonable, and you say it directly yet without being angry, she may even apologize.

heidi w.

Naava
March 12th, 2009, 03:35 PM
^I'm really sorry to hear that she can't just let it go.

I think it's funny how some people seem to think that growing long hair has happened accidentally somehow. People with short hairstyles don't get as much of the "helpful" advice.

Would it be possible for you to say something like "Thanks for the idea, but my hair is the way I want it to be" to her?

Kerynna
March 12th, 2009, 03:38 PM
Ack!!! She just chimed in AGAIN! Again, unsolicited. . .asking me whether I like my bangs, and maybe I should get some highlights and layers. I guess, in her defense, long hair that's all one color looks like a blank slate that some people want to put their "creative" mark on. Still. . .I'm starting to get a little annoyed. I have many many things I could tell her about her "look", but. . . I wasn't raised that way!

Sheesh! She asked you if you like your bangs? Like, you're going to answer "No, I *hate* my bangs! I wish my hair was more like yours! Oh why oh why am I stuck with this awful hairstyle?!"

She needs to get a life. Obviously, you're happy with your hair or you would have changed it long ago.

Eireann
March 12th, 2009, 03:48 PM
I just said "I do need a trim soon. It has been a while." I thought that sort of said "I'm aware of what my hair looks like, and I'm keeping it this way on purpose" without being confrontational. I also made a joke about her giving me a makeover in her mind, and she laughed and said it was more interesting than her work. If she persists, I might just say "thanks for the advice, but I think I'll keep my hair how it is."

JamieLeigh
March 12th, 2009, 04:22 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by JamieLeigh http://forums.longhaircommunity.com/images/buttons/viewpost.gif (http://forums.longhaircommunity.com/showthread.php?p=500163#post500163)
I'm with Kerynna on this. I bet she's just jealous of your hair.


*cough*Envious (http://www.wsu.edu/%7Ebrians/errors/envious.html)*cough*

;)

Thanks! :p I tried to correct myself afterward, LOL.

Nightshade
March 12th, 2009, 09:46 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by JamieLeigh http://forums.longhaircommunity.com/images/buttons/viewpost.gif (http://forums.longhaircommunity.com/showthread.php?p=500163#post500163)
I'm with Kerynna on this. I bet she's just jealous of your hair.



Thanks! :p I tried to correct myself afterward, LOL.

No worries ;) It's more that some people *cough*Glasseyes*cough* give me crap if I don't ;)

JCFantasy23
March 12th, 2009, 09:51 PM
It was kind of rude to me, but from my experience people can be rude when you have long hair. I think part of it sometimes is envy, they don't feel like growing it out or that's it not "modern" and somehow resent long hair, it's strange.

Alia
March 12th, 2009, 10:17 PM
Next time you see her, say, "Wow, you know, if you just got a nosejob and those crow's feet filled in, you'd be really pretty!":twisted:

SimplyLonghair
March 12th, 2009, 10:19 PM
I guess I wonder when it became okay to decide what is best for others? We deal with this all of the time at work. People telling us that we need to wear certain clothes, when we didn't use scarves at work, they were always trying to get us to cut our hair. And did I mention nosey?

From the sound of it, you are very unsure about your hair when you speak to her. You need to tell her kindly but firmly that this is a forbidden subject. You like your hair and so does your DH you know that it is different than the average and you are happy with that.

Don't back down.

Some people just don't take hints, be point blank but not rude.

As some have said, DC is a town that thinks that long hair is unprofessional so she may see that she is trying to improve your image. Some set as their goal in life, improving others, whether they want to be improved or not.:rolleyes:

CaityBear
March 12th, 2009, 11:00 PM
That was rude...I agree she was probably jealous or just doesn't like long hair. lol

Some people nowdays just think it's a sin to have long hair when it can look so gorgeous that I don't see why not.

spf4214
March 12th, 2009, 11:47 PM
That was really rude. I know how you feel because my cousins are always saying things like that to me about my hair. But they don't mean to be rude, they're just very frank people who will say the first thing that pops into their head, and it's not like its in a professional setting, they're my family.

I'm not sure why people have problems with long hair, I guess I'm lucky that I'm at uni and so anything's acceptable.

Shadow Walker
March 13th, 2009, 12:09 AM
I know exactly how you feel Eireann, I had a terrible time with my co-workers last year when it came to my hair. In fact, I went in today to pick up my uniforms since work starts again on Monday, and the the first thing the office manager Sherri said when she saw me was "You need a haircut."

It's best to try to ignore it, though if it gets to the point where your hair is being yanked and messed with like mine was last year, go to your supervisor!

longhairedfairy
March 13th, 2009, 04:19 AM
In fact, I went in today to pick up my uniforms since work starts again on Monday, and the the first thing the office manager Sherri said when she saw me was "You need a haircut."

I'd probably say simply, "You need some lessons in manners."

Chrissy
March 13th, 2009, 06:10 AM
I haven't read all the replies yet but.....really it is your choice how you wear your hair. You should just tell her you like it long and want it even longer. You could say I love my hair long and I am not going to cut it. I would not say something just to make someone leave you alone. If you're happy with your hair tell her. It's really none of her business how you wear your hair.

You don't have to be mean but I would just say I appreciate your opinion but I prefer really long hair. If you make her assume you will cut it some day she may just badger you about when you intend to do it. Then you will either have to come clean and tell her youre not doing it or continue the facade of you will some time. Not worth the effort in my opinion.

Love your hair and don't be bothered with other people's ideas of how you should wear your hair. I wish you well!!

Chrissy
March 13th, 2009, 06:12 AM
I'm with Kerynna on this. I bet she's just jealous of your hair. Odds are, your beautiful long hair is taking attention away from whatever it is that she's got going on. :p

Long hair is gorgeous, and even though DH loves it (which he should! LOL), you should grow it long because YOU love it. Not to please anyone else! Especially catty co-workers!!

Peer pressure is long hair's worst enemy. Second maybe only to patience! :)



WELL SAID!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Chrissy
March 13th, 2009, 06:33 AM
Basically what's important has been said: Who cares what this cow thinks? And how dare her try to dump her issues on you and bring you down in the process! (Did you "accidentally" spill your coffee all over her?!)

YOU love your hair, DH loves your hair - even if DH didn't, the fact you do is the ultimate factor in how you wear your hair, be it long, short, white, green, blue. The next time she starts in on the length, which she probably will as she obviously can't take a hint, simply tell her you are very happy with your long hair and plan on keeping it for a very long time.

Then smile sweetly, pour your coffee over her head and walk away!




Now now Peggy. Be peaceful!!! Be true to yourself but be peaceful. :)

Eireann
March 13th, 2009, 08:04 AM
Thanks, everyone, for the kind words of support! I told DH the story, and he was especially attentive and complimentary of my hair last night. :)

Xandergrammy
March 13th, 2009, 08:35 AM
Let me guess- this rude woman had the flippy short hairdo with stripes- um er I mean highlights added, right?

Eireann
March 13th, 2009, 10:07 AM
Let me guess- this rude woman had the flippy short hairdo with stripes- um er I mean highlights added, right?

No, she has the Washington lady bob (shoulder length, curled under with side-swept bangs). It works for her, and as I said, she's a very nice person, normally. I think she really was trying to be helpful, just not very tactful!

heidi w.
March 13th, 2009, 11:36 AM
Thanks, everyone, for the kind words of support! I told DH the story, and he was especially attentive and complimentary of my hair last night. :)

awwww .

sweet!

heidi w.

HoneyMouse
March 13th, 2009, 11:51 AM
Thats really rather rude of here. Probably having short hair sometimes makes you feel like it is your duty to make eveyone else follow suit. She's probably not able to grow hers

Unofficial_Rose
March 13th, 2009, 11:57 AM
No, she has the Washington lady bob (shoulder length, curled under with side-swept bangs). It works for her, and as I said, she's a very nice person, normally. I think she really was trying to be helpful, just not very tactful!

She just sounds very conformist, tbh. A lot of people are like that and think they are helping others. All my friends have highlighted hair and since I've stopped doing that and gone brunette you can pretty much bet most of them think I "could use some serious highlights" (quote from Legally Blonde!) although they are too polite to do more than drop hints.

On the basis of this I cut it all off and went blonde last summer - how I regret it. At least you are not being swayed by her comments into any haircuts!

invisiblebabe
March 13th, 2009, 12:30 PM
I don't think that she's necessarily envious because some people just prefer short hair.

However, usually when a person is bent on trying to get someone else to have a "makeover," it is because she sees something in her own self that she wants made over.

RustedAngel
March 13th, 2009, 12:32 PM
I've been pretty fortunate in this regard, most all of my coworkers are really supportive and compliment my hair, say they're jealous of how healthy it is, and encourage me to wear it down when I usually braid it to look more clean cut. My boss every once in a while will make a remark about my "tail" but he's also 67. I know things were different in his time and I'm willing to cut him some slack because overall we get along really well.

What I really hate is when certain friends from school tell me without my asking that I should cut my hair because "I'll get more girls" :rolleyes: Same friend is usually talking about girls with fake tans and bleach blonde hair, because, you know, that's what I'm into. Needless to say I don't really return his calls much anymore.

Eireann
March 17th, 2009, 08:26 AM
Okay, I was TOTALLY convinced that it wasn't jealousy. . .I like to see the best in people, right? Today, the offending coworker came in wearing a high ponytail hairpiece that hung to her shoulders. . .so if it were her real hair and she was wearing it down, it would be about BSL (slightly shorter than my hair.) Gaaaah!! I almost made a comment like "you think I should cut my hair, and you're wearing fake hair that's as long as my real hair?!?!?!" but I thought better of it. Breathe. In. Out. In. Out.

Kerynna
March 17th, 2009, 08:39 AM
Okay, I was TOTALLY convinced that it wasn't jealousy. . .I like to see the best in people, right? Today, the offending coworker came in wearing a high ponytail hairpiece that hung to her shoulders. . .so if it were her real hair and she was wearing it down, it would be about BSL (slightly shorter than my hair.) Gaaaah!! I almost made a comment like "you think I should cut my hair, and you're wearing fake hair that's as long as my real hair?!?!?!" but I thought better of it. Breathe. In. Out. In. Out.

You have GOT to be kidding! Wow. I wonder what is up with her? You have to keep us posted, this story is very entertaining! :p You should casually say, "Have you ever thought about cutting your hair?" and just sort of wink and go on your way.

tsenglish@ns.sy
March 17th, 2009, 09:17 AM
I don't agree with the whole "I bet she's jealous" thing. people always say that and it really irks me. Just because someone doesn't like your hair doesn't necissarily mean they are jealous, it might mean they really don't like your hair. I don't like a lot of things, doesn't mean I am jealous of them, it means I just don't like them.


That said, how rude for her to say that. She implied that your hair is not pretty now, but could be at a different length. That's rude no matter who said it. The plain truth is, if you like your hair, and you are happy with he length, who gives a whooping funt what anyone else thinks? There will always be rude coworkers, friends, family who overstep. It's no different than saying "you know, if you lost a few pounds, you'd be really pretty", or, "If you weren't so scrawny, you'd be really pretty". For some reason, some people don't see commenting negatively on a person's hair as rude in the same way weight or size is.

Maybe your coworker doesn't like your hair. So what? You do, 'nuff said. =)

KC83
March 17th, 2009, 06:09 PM
Im 100% positive that its just jealousy so dont let that bother you ever again.

steff8ryan
March 17th, 2009, 06:26 PM
I think you should ask her if she has ever thought of growing her hair, say you think she would suit it etc. and see what she says as shes done the same to you.
If shes up for it you could help her out on the way to long hair :) If shes not up for it you have given her a taste of her own medicine. win win :eyebrows:
xx

Tressie
March 17th, 2009, 11:00 PM
The next time she brings it up, just tell her she "would be pretty if she grew her hair out to about waist length". Oh, and don't forget to ask her if she likes her side swept bangs! Let us know what she says please!

marajade
March 17th, 2009, 11:03 PM
Same friend is usually talking about girls with fake tans and bleach blonde hair, because, you know, that's what I'm into.

:rollin: I was gonna say you don't seem like the bleach blonde bimbo type of guy. ;)

Helen Baq
March 18th, 2009, 02:49 AM
What I really hate is when certain friends from school tell me without my asking that I should cut my hair because "I'll get more girls" :rolleyes: Same friend is usually talking about girls with fake tans and bleach blonde hair, because, you know, that's what I'm into. Needless to say I don't really return his calls much anymore.

I haven't seen too many of those in Seattle, thank goodness! :laugh:

Eireann, you've been more polite than I would have been. I think I'd have said something like the nose job comment I saw. :p

Personally, I've always thought that hair in a nice updo, like a bun or a french twist, was much more professional looking than short hair. Guess I'm just the old-fashioned type. ;)

Phalaenopsis
March 18th, 2009, 05:24 AM
Okay, I was TOTALLY convinced that it wasn't jealousy. . .I like to see the best in people, right? Today, the offending coworker came in wearing a high ponytail hairpiece that hung to her shoulders. . .so if it were her real hair and she was wearing it down, it would be about BSL (slightly shorter than my hair.) Gaaaah!! I almost made a comment like "you think I should cut my hair, and you're wearing fake hair that's as long as my real hair?!?!?!" but I thought better of it. Breathe. In. Out. In. Out.

You should have said that! Just confront her.
Now it's very clear that she wants longer hair than you.

noelgirl
March 18th, 2009, 07:21 AM
Okay, I was TOTALLY convinced that it wasn't jealousy. . .I like to see the best in people, right? Today, the offending coworker came in wearing a high ponytail hairpiece that hung to her shoulders. . .so if it were her real hair and she was wearing it down, it would be about BSL (slightly shorter than my hair.) Gaaaah!! I almost made a comment like "you think I should cut my hair, and you're wearing fake hair that's as long as my real hair?!?!?!" but I thought better of it. Breathe. In. Out. In. Out.

Well, this just gets better and better - this last turn of events is one that you can't make up. The "have you ever thought about" type comments make me itch - what, am I some feral child who is unfamiliar with the concept? I'd have gotten really snarky, really fast, I think.

earthdancer
March 18th, 2009, 10:08 AM
Okay, I was TOTALLY convinced that it wasn't jealousy. . .I like to see the best in people, right? Today, the offending coworker came in wearing a high ponytail hairpiece that hung to her shoulders. . .so if it were her real hair and she was wearing it down, it would be about BSL (slightly shorter than my hair.) Gaaaah!! I almost made a comment like "you think I should cut my hair, and you're wearing fake hair that's as long as my real hair?!?!?!" but I thought better of it. Breathe. In. Out. In. Out.

LOL, I almost spit coffee on my keyboard! You have a lot more self-control than I would!

Farina
March 18th, 2009, 10:13 AM
It could be jealousy but it might just be differences in taste and she lacked the tact to explain it as such lol. My roommate has very short (a-line bob) highlighted blonde hair and I always tell her to grow it long and she always tells me to chop mine. It doesn't mean that our hair isn't pretty it's just a matter of preference.

Farina
March 18th, 2009, 10:14 AM
haha scratch the "i don't think it's jealousy"... if DEF is after reading your other post! That's just crazy