Help! Wispy and Damaged (pics)

[WaimeaWahine]

Ok. This is difficult for me (tearing up) but I need to take a step here to feel better. :(

My hair separates and has wispy ends. This was not bothersome and denial was great because 1) split ends happen to many, 2) I didn't really care about what was going on with my hair until recently.

What I've tried: trims (took off 4 inches about 3 months ago), CO washing, cone free (Suave), air dry, no curling iron, wood comb, special brush, oiling (Africa's or pure coconut), stopped using harmful elastics.

It is dyed and been picture perfect (similar to blog photo) for decades until it was allowed to grow past pageboy style. My natural hair is 95% gray. Not ready to go there yet. Monistat is kind of an expensive option. I take plenty of vitamins, eat healthy, and excerise.

My apologies for the poor photo quality. Dingy mirror + bad lighting + only a camcorder.

Frayed and wispy ends:

http://i41.tinypic.com/2a8lz7d.jpg


Leaning to the side, hair is limp & separates easily:

http://i42.tinypic.com/282f1qg.jpg


I would appreciate complete honesty - yes, my hair is damaged - so if you think it should be lopped off or...

:couch: Am I the only person here with this problem? Any and all suggestions are welcomed and appreciated.

[Nightshade]

Your hair reminds me of how mine looked when I first came here, only way nicer :o

I wrote an article about rehabilitating damaged hair, it's linked in my siggy. Perhaps you'd find some good information in there? :)

[plainjanegirl]

Your hair reminds me of how mine looked when I first came here, only way nicer :o

I wrote an article about rehabilitating damaged hair, it's linked in my siggy. Perhaps you'd find some good information in there? :)


I am gonna read your damaged hair article again.
But just curious did you have to cut off your damaged hair or were you able to save it?

[Themyst]

My hair behaves that way and it's not damaged. A little dry, maybe. I routinely S&D and really have to look to find any splits. It's flyaway and wispy, separates easily. Except on a humid day it looks great.

Yours actually doesn't look bad to me in the picture (it looks kinda nice!). At least, it doesn't appear frayed and dry. If you're worried about chemical dyes frying it, have you considered natural options, like henna and indigo? I've been using that combo to make my hair a little darker and I'm very pleased with the results (and the conditioning).

[cobblersmaid]

It looks like it could use some help, but I don't think it is as bad you think. We are always hardest on ourselves. If it was me, I would trim about an inch off, and see what difference that made. Sometimes a very small amount can make a huge difference.

Look at your ends in natural light. Are there a lot of splits, or damaged spots? How far up your hair do they go?

Does your hair like protein? If so maybe try using a treatment with it.

Another trick I have used, is to wet the ends of your hair daily. Sometimes I add oil as well.

HTH

[girlcat36]

You know what, I would be happy if those were my ends! Mine are far more thin and wispy, yet I keep hanging on.....

[lora410]

My hair separates and looks wispy to. I still have layers growing so I am sure that doesn't help any :rolleyes: your ends look fine though to me.

[Katze]

oh sweetie! I hear your pain...but your hair actually looks lovely in those pics. Really. Many of us would kill to have ends like yours.

OK, so what problems do I see? I also have fine wavy hair, and I see ends that look like they could use a touch of something to make them lie less wispy. That's ALL. A bit of leave-in, a touch of Fox's conditioning cream, even (gasp) some hair gel to make them lay the way you want them to.

If you look at any of my album pics you will see my hair at its "best" and it looks nowhere near as nice, healthy, thick as yours. Really.

:flower:

hope you feel better!

Katze

[Heavenly Locks]

I don't think it looks nearly as bad as you think it does. :) It just takes time to grow out any of our 'ignorant' damage you know? Back when we didn't know better about the plastic nubby brushes, blowdryers and 4 million degree flat irons.

Your hair looks really nice. Don't get discouraged! You are doing a lot better and it will pay off.

[Nightshade]

I am gonna read your damaged hair article again.
But just curious did you have to cut off your damaged hair or were you able to save it?

Did I trim? Oh hell yes, but never, ever more than half an inch at a time until I reached goal, and I had hair so bad it broke off from hip to BSL :scared:

If you check out the article again, I compare damaged hair to a dry rope. It doesn't matter if you cut half an inch off, or ten inches off, so long as you're cutting into damaged hair the end is just going to fray again in the same amount of time.

So frequent dustings keep the ends clean enough not to tangle, which reduced breakage and tangling.

I find a lot of people do a huge chop, but because they lost all that length, don't want to trim MORE. So as those ends get tangly and break the "growth" slows down, sometimes to nothing, because the ends are breaking off.


Not to hijack the thread, but here's my hair starting a bit before I came to LHC. The 3-6-06 pic is my first for LHC pic. The first two pics have my hair at about the same length, it's just the way the pics are cropped that makes the first one look longer:

http://forums.longhaircommunity.com/picture.php?albumid=1695&pictureid=20633

And this is it now:

http://forums.longhaircommunity.com/image.php?u=5944&dateline=1234059805&type=profile

You can see my last lingering bits of damaged hair there right at the last 6 inches or so of the ends, they're thinner yet, and need more TLC, but they're nothing like what I started with :)

Keep in mind the above progress was trimming off half my growth (usually about 1/4) each month, so I gained length (slowly) and healthier hair (slowly).


I also found that oils did nothing for my damaged hair but make it crunchy, and found Fox's shea blend MUCH better, and then moved on to my own concoction which has honey and a few other things in it.

I'm not a damaged hair expert, but what I did worked for me, at least :o

[OhioLisa]

I agree that it's not near as bad as you think it is. More moisture on your ends is all I think you might need. Piecey ends are not a bad thing either. Mine definitely do that as well, and my ends are not damaged. I don't think a cut is warranted at all. :)

[embee]

My hair "strings". Some hair does that, seems to me. Not all. So for me, up is better. My mom called my stringy hair "rat tails". Ugh. What a thought. :(

Your hair doesn't look bad to me.

My ends are thin but I'm at terminal and will not trim! The advantage of thin ends (for me) is that they go into an updo easily. I cannot work with straight blunt.

Nightshade, your hair pics are inspiring!

[spidermom]

Your hair looks pretty nice to me, too. I think that all you need to do is get onto a regular schedule of small trims (like Nightshade).

By the way, my hair gets ropey (it's too thick to call stringy) and fly-away, too, but the condition is good.

[janeytilllie]

I know what you are going through.

Your hair to me is fine and pretty. It looks a bit dry at the ends, but not damaged :)

I would most certinally try some methods to help dry hair, there are some very cool and helpful threads for dry hair.

2 days ago my ends looked horrible!!! I was ready to chop off a good 6 inch :( but I decided to try replish my hair for 2 weeks before I snipped.
Heres my hair 2 days ago

http://forums.longhaircommunity.com/picture.php?albumid=2296&pictureid=31965

As you can see my ends look very damaged, thin and nasty

Heres my hair yesterday after alot of TLC.

http://forums.longhaircommunity.com/picture.php?albumid=2296&pictureid=32072

Maybe something in your hair care routine might be contributing to dryish ends? That was the case with me. So I looked on different dry hair threads. For my hair I did a protein coconut milk soak on my ends and used a shea butter soap on them. It brought my hair back from the dead lol :D

So don't give hope darling! Because your hair is alot better than you think! I think it just needs some good oiling and mositure treatments :)

Good luck :)

[Fencai]

Im gonna second what everyone else has said, and say its not as bad as it seems to you! :)
I would follow Nightshade's recommendation, as well as Fox's shea butter treatment. That does wonders for me as a leave in treatment!
Hang in there!

[RancheroTheBee]

Aww. I really don't think your hair looks that bad, dear. Maybe you want to oil the ends a little, or do a dusting or two? But really, your hair looks lovely. :) (yes, honestly!)

[manderly]

Honestly your hair looks like mine does when it's under moisturized and missing its leave-in.

I would try using a leave in, Giovanni Direct is nice and light :) and don't skimp!

[HairColoredHair]

Quite honestly your hair doesn't look wispy at all.

A little bit of flyaway, maybe.

As for the separating, I think hair is supposed to do that...

[Susana]

Hey :)

I can't really tell from the pics, but I am sure it doesn't look as bad as you think :)

You could try not using shampoo on it. It might sound odd but it works great for some people. You can either do baking soda and vinager, or conditioner only, or water only. Here is a link with some pretty interesting articles :)

The water only one seems to yield particularly good and promising results * *

http://www.tinasark.com/natural_beauty.htm

Good luck!!

[Susana]

Oh!! Scroll down to "no poo" ;)

[Susana]

Oh and if you can't live with the gray hair, why don't you try henna. It is very good and healthy for hair :)
P.S. Maybe gray hair will look beautiful on you :) It looks great on many people, you can even try to have some fun with it and get some "henna highlights" as you grow out your natural hair :)

[WaimeaWahine]

Thank you all so much for your suggestions and comments which made me laugh and smile. :) You are very kind and sweet people!

I took notes while reading each post and will hold on. Lopping it off would break my spirit at this point. Sometimes its better to have damaged hair than no hair at all maybe. Does that make sense?

I leave conditioner on the ends and oil them specifically but lack understanding of proper trimming and dusting that would definately help. Damage takes time to heal. The old hairbrush used to snag the ends and got caught (whole thing) in my hair once. :justy:

Nightshade, your article looks interesting and will be read tonight! Thank you. I will also head to the monistat thread and perhaps cave on the cost. It is also nice to hear that some of my issues are normal. You see so much great hair here it can make people feel insecure.

Girlcat36, I was hoping to hear from you. In several other posts about similar issues it was so easy to relate to your words. :flower: Your hair is so beautiful with those ringlets and your hair has grown so much!

Susana, I don't know anything about indigo henna. Isn't it impossible to get out and expensive? Chem dying my hair each month costs about $3.

[Susana]

Hey!! About the henna, I am not a henna head but I don't think its temporary, you would have to grow it out. However, henna is much healthier for your hair, there are people who use it to improve the quality of the hair, and make it seem fuller and glossier. When I decide to color my hair again, I want to do henna. Pure henna, depending of where you live, you might have to order online. There are some hair henna dyes here (but not pure henna :( )

http://www.iherb.com/ProductsList.aspx?cid=2069&p=1&sr=0

If you make a post you will probably get lots of trusted websites from teh ladies here at LHC. I think some Indian stores sell them (I think it is like the one used for dying your skin). I don't believe it is soo expensive, though I am sure it depends on where you get them. But if you are simply not ready to let your gray in and would like to grow healthy hair, henna is probably the healthies choice for your hair. Pure henna (depending on your previous hair color) will give you a redish shade, I think the indigo is a black/blue shade (not sure though) and the hair dyies come with chemicals (not good for hair) but give you more color choices.

Just if you are curious, here are some beautiful "silver" heads of hair:

My favourite:

http://goinggraylookinggreat.com/

It has great stories :):) Liek this one :) :)

http://goinggraylookinggreat.com/index.php/great_grays/article/hollys_story/


http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/20379688/

http://cosmetic-makeovers.com/2006/07/21/beautiful-gray-hair

http://www.oprah.com/slideshow/omagazine/slideshow1_ss_hair_omag_200710_gray/1

But anyways, about your hair, if you don't want to cut too much, leave it for now and see if gets better, you can always cut it later ;)

:):) Good luck :):)

[JamieLeigh]

It's hard to tell anything from the photos you posted, but I see nothing that screams "damage!! cut me off!!" I like the advice that nightshade gave, and I agree, sometimes a half-inch off the bottom makes a world of difference. :)

[MadPirateBippy]

You might want to try cassia and catnip (there are great threads on both here).

To me, it just looks like you've had some uneven growth. It dosen't look bad. :)

[Eryka]

Oh honey I know your pain. But as everyone said, we've all been there (or currently are) and have recovered the hair or simply waited it out and trimmed it off. Also, its not as bad as you fear. Most likely a tweaking in your routine will really help. Oiling your hair before or after a shower has made a HUGE difference in many peoples hair here in LHC. There is a huge volume of info on oils and how to use them. Wander over to the All Natural/Herbal section of the boards and prepare for the onslaught of information.

But yeah, wispy ends can be a downer. When I was 16 I had bangs for a few years. My hair is knee length now. The edges of my hair look like they went through a cheese grater, seriously. Don't sweat it, just grow it!

[Demetrue]

i suggest trying catnip for split ends.

[girlcat36]

Thanks, WaimeaWahine.
Glad you didn't cut. :)
Whenever someone posts about thin, damaged wispy hair, I want to say,"Look at my pics, you'll feel much better then!"
My ends are very thin, as shown in this pic, taken right after my siggy pic:
http://forums.longhaircommunity.com/album.php?albumid=819&pictureid=32275

If I can hang in there, almost everyone else should be able to!
I do have my moments of doubt, though. :rolleyes:

[WaimeaWahine]

About 3 hours after reading this thread the other day I did a makeover. Even my fringe was snipped it was so long it blocked my vision. :eyebrows:

I think it looks and feels better and I feel better and will certainly learn to S&D and dust. :) The splits went all the way up so we'll see how the next few months go with proper care.

Susana I've been blue black and red black and after some stranger announced loudly once, "Oh my gosh you have blue hair!" It's been ash black only for me. Henna may be a great idea someday if it comes in ash black, is as cheap as my chem dye, and provides specific results. ;)

I swear y'all push henna here like it's crack. :laugh:

[Susana]

Lol, it's true, lots of LHC ladies love their henna, I might one day be one of them from practice and not just reading ;) :)
Good luck :)

[Sissy]

I agree that it's not near as bad as you think it is. More moisture on your ends is all I think you might need. Piecey ends are not a bad thing either. Mine definitely do that as well, and my ends are not damaged. I don't think a cut is warranted at all. :)

I agree with this. I think your hair looks really nice! Just give the ends some extra TLC. I know how it is to be frustrated with damaged hair... I routinely do S&D and the next day it splits again! It's so discouraging. However, just keep giving the ends TLC and I like how a dusting each month was suggested. I agree that this should keep damage lessened. That is advice I need to take as well!

Sissy

[Sissy]

I know what you are going through.

Your hair to me is fine and pretty. It looks a bit dry at the ends, but not damaged :)

I would most certinally try some methods to help dry hair, there are some very cool and helpful threads for dry hair.

2 days ago my ends looked horrible!!! I was ready to chop off a good 6 inch :( but I decided to try replish my hair for 2 weeks before I snipped.
Heres my hair 2 days ago

http://forums.longhaircommunity.com/picture.php?albumid=2296&pictureid=31965

As you can see my ends look very damaged, thin and nasty

Heres my hair yesterday after alot of TLC.

http://forums.longhaircommunity.com/picture.php?albumid=2296&pictureid=32072

Maybe something in your hair care routine might be contributing to dryish ends? That was the case with me. So I looked on different dry hair threads. For my hair I did a protein coconut milk soak on my ends and used a shea butter soap on them. It brought my hair back from the dead lol :D

So don't give hope darling! Because your hair is alot better than you think! I think it just needs some good oiling and mositure treatments :)

Good luck :)

Wow, fantastic results on your hair using the shea butter soap and coconut milk soak... I'm going to try out coconut milk.

[Eryka]

Hair can alsp become separated if you don't get all of the conditioner out in the shower. Leading cause of "sticky" hair and overall suckiness.