Help with wavy/curly hair!!

[ashley731xx]

Please answer this;
I have very unhealthy hair. I straighten it every morning before school, I don't want to go to school with out it straightened. I look horrible. I need my hair to grow longer. I hate it short. It is about to my shoulders. I need a way to grow it like house hold items, I can't buy anything. Just let me know what I can do? I wash, blow dry my hair, and straiten it every morning. What can I do to prevent the grow loss I am getting when I do all this to my hair.

-I won't be back on tonight; I will check my Email for replies though, Thanks. Ashley.

[PseudoScot]

Hi Ashley731xx, and welcome to LHC.

First of all, if you want growth you're going to have to come to terms with the fact that heat styling has got to stop. You will see an improvement within a month or two. Seriously.

It's hard to give up those things but read around here and you'll discover lots of ways to get around it. Even with short hair you can add clips and things to it to make it cute while you're growing it out.

Start simple - stop heat styling and wash it like you normally do [you can always tweak that later]. Research ways to clip it back/pin it up, etc. At shoulder length it should still dry OK naturally [ie, without heat].

Sorry to seem so anti-heat styling but blow drying it and straightening it every day will be the reason you can't get length, and you'll need to cut those way back or out completely from your routing to give your hair a chance.

ETA: Also - a tip on LHC use - the best way to learn about how to help your hair is to read around, start with articles, or even in the New, Start here section. Asking for emails isn't the most productive way to get help. You can get into some good and productive discussions here with a lot more opinions and advice. Happy reading!

[ashley731xx]

Thanks:) well I'll start washing my hair every night instead of mornings, so I can have time for it to dry, but my hair is horriable with out being strait, its mostly my bangs that look bad not strait. the rest is fine, :/ but I am going to cut back... thanks:).

[Sarahmoon]

I'm afraid you really won't notice much progress as long as you keep washing, blowdrying and straightening every day.
Is your hair really that awful when it's curly?

[rose_in_bloom]

I'm sorry you feel like you look bad, that is tough to deal with. But unfortunately, you won't see much improvement in your hair's health unless you make a few changes in your routine.

For starters, I would check out some of the LHC articles for beginners. I found those really helpful when I was first starting out. Next, see if you can give your hair a break from all the daily washing, blow drying, and straightening. Perhaps you could try washing it every other day? If you MUST blowdry, you should use the cool air setting on your blowdryer (if it has one), and hold the dryer as far away from your hair as possible while your blowing it. This helps to minimize damage.

As for the straightening iron, I would highly recommend cutting back or dropping it altogether. I know, I know...you probably don't like me now. :o If you can't drop it completely, maybe you could only use it a couple times a week? That would help a ton. Personally, I think natural hair is the most beautiful. When I see a woman with hair that looks like it's HER hair, not manufactured and manipulated hair, I think "Wow! That is one brave and beautiful girl who is not afraid to stand up and be herself."

So why not try letting your hair be curly for a while? :)

Another thing you can try is putting some oil on your hair at night. You probably have some olive oil or some kind of cooking oil in your house. Try smoothing some oil into your hair, avoiding your scalp. It helps to minimize damage and split ends.

As a teenager, I totally understand the desire to look your best! It takes guts to be yourself, and not worry about what others think of you. It can be really hard to make these initial changes, but I really do think it's worth it.

All the best!

[rose_in_bloom]

Oh, and you can also try CO washing (washing your hair with conditioner). It's much gentler on your hair, and makes it nice and smooth. You can find articles on CO washing here at LHC.

[Coriander]

I'm not a curlyhead but I wanted to pop on here and say hello.

I agree with the others- try reading the "New Start Here" threads and do searches for curly hair. There are a number of LHCers here who have wonderful curls and there's very sage advice given throughout this forum.

All the best!

[Shandra]

Well, it's your bangs that look bad without "help", why don't you just straighten/curl them and let the rest of your hair dry naturally? Since your bangs have a much quicker turnover rate (since they stay short), it won't have as much of an effect.

I have past classic hair, and bangs, and that's what I do. :)

[BritHair]

Hi Ashley,

I am new to LHC as well.

I have been lurking for some time here and have to say I have learned so much from this site and my hair has improved greatly in just a few weeks. They have some great articles here and the members have some really awesome advice and tips. Not to mention all the beautiful hair I see here.

I have curly hair and I find to straighten mine out, I simply pin it up when it is damp. It dries with just a gentle wave to it.

Hello to everyone, my hair and I are happy to be here.

BritHair :)

[LadyEliza]

Please answer this;
I have very unhealthy hair. I straiten it every morning before school, I don't want to go to school with out it straitened. I look horriable. I need my hair to grow longer. I hate it short. It is about to my shoulders. I need a way to grow it like house hold items, I can't buy anything. Just let me know what I can do? I wash, blow dry my hair, and straiten it every morning. What can I do to prevent the grow loss I am getting when I do all this to my hair.




Your hair is ALWAYS growing. What it isn't doing, is getting longer. To make it get longer you have to look after the ENDS of the hair, and what you aren't doing is that. You wash, BLOW dry and straighten it EVERY MORNING???

Stop doing that. Find a style you can do that ties it up or back and ignore it. You are washing out the protective natural oils, you should only wash your hair to clean it, not for styling reasons. And never use anything that needs heat to do anything to it - like the blow dryer and the straightening iron.

It will cost you nothing to throw away the hair dryer and the straigthening iron - and your hair will be much happier!

[Darkhorse1]

Hi Ashley! Welcome to the BB.

The problem with heat styling (blow drying/straightening) is that it damages the hair. So, yes, it makes it straight, but it also takes away a lot (moisture etc). So, what is happening is that the ends, which are the 'oldest' hairs, will break off, thus you will never notice growth. Your hair always grows, but if the ends become brittle, they will break off and you will never see progress.

I do know from friends of mine who have very curly hair, that you get 'bulk' when growing out. One thing they found helpful was pinning it. They would come it out with a wide tooth comb wet, and use large styling clips to help it lay flat as it air dried. Yes, this is time consuming.

Another idea? Use the blow dryer only. You can straighten your bangs just with a hair dryer. There are also sprays you can use to make sure you don't futher damage your hair.

Playing around with products and ways of doing things is the best way to find out how to manage hair without needing heating aids. Another idea is to just blow dry your hair until damp, not fully dry and then pull it back into a scrunchie. By the time it's dry , that should help it lay flat?

Good luck!

[plainjanegirl]

Hi Ashley! Welcome to the BB.

The problem with heat styling (blow drying/straightening) is that it damages the hair. So, yes, it makes it straight, but it also takes away a lot (moisture etc). So, what is happening is that the ends, which are the 'oldest' hairs, will break off, thus you will never notice growth. Your hair always grows, but if the ends become brittle, they will break off and you will never see progress.

I do know from friends of mine who have very curly hair, that you get 'bulk' when growing out. One thing they found helpful was pinning it. They would come it out with a wide tooth comb wet, and use large styling clips to help it lay flat as it air dried. Yes, this is time consuming.

Another idea? Use the blow dryer only. You can straighten your bangs just with a hair dryer. There are also sprays you can use to make sure you don't futher damage your hair.

Playing around with products and ways of doing things is the best way to find out how to manage hair without needing heating aids. Another idea is to just blow dry your hair until damp, not fully dry and then pull it back into a scrunchie. By the time it's dry , that should help it lay flat?

Good luck!


Isn't this the LHC, not the BB?

[LisaJaney]

I think she meant "bulletin board", which threw me for a loop, too (as this LHC site is the sister-site to the Beauty Bottle....very dizzifying!) Took me a second to figure out the "bulletin board" part of it. :)

Hey, Ashley, MY recommendation would be to just straighten the bangs if you HAVE to, but leave the length alone. The constant subjection to heat and repeated washing will just tend to dry the hair (curly hair tends to be drier than straight, as a general rule) so you have to guard against doing stuff that will FURTHER dry it. I'd recommend skipping the shampoo on the length at least (conditioner will clean it plenty good). In fact, *I* "wash" my hair with conditioner ONLY. Yep, conditioer on the scalp and the whole darn thing. Works like a charm! The trick is to get a cheap LIGHT (non-moisturizing) conditioner and use plenty of it, then rinse REALLY REALLY REALLY well. You won't NEED a moisturizing conditioner, because you won't be stripping moisture OUT if you're just cleaning it with conditioner. Conditioner has surfactants that loosen and lift dirt and oils without stripping the hair of its INTERNAL moisture.

One last item: I worried about your email being out there on the world-wide-web, there on the first post, so I removed it. Please allow me to explain: As a site dedicated to long hair, we get more than our fair share of pervy internet creeps who skulk around here, just LOOKING for "purty ladies with long hair" (drool drool pant pant....gag-choke-puke!) and I didn't want the creepozoids having your email. SO, I removed it...BUT!!! I changed the settings on your thread-starting post, so that ALL replies will go to your email inbox, so it'll be like getting emails, but the people who write to you won't know your email address that way. You're a little less "trace-able", if that makes sense. I hope you're not offended by my action; I merely wanted to make sure you were a little safer... :flowers: There are just SO many "vultures" who cruise by, looking for the longhairs... :shudder:

[LisaJaney]

Oh, and Ashley, I don't think taht my changing of your Opening Post here will work retroactively, so I wanted to tell you (in THIS post that you WILL get in your email) that there are a dozen other posts - written beFORE my change -- that answer your questions... :) And I'm sure there will be more.

[Darkhorse1]

Sorry, BB is always a short version of bullitein board.

[3azza]

I know what ur talking about here. I've been throught this too, growing short curly hair, and u reach some length that u can't manage. Here is what i did and i still do. Instead of straightening it i switched to hair gels and leave in conditioners. Experiment with these after shower when hair is still wet and you'll end up with wonderful curls or waves. Don't comb when it's dry, only in shower, using fingers or a widetooth comb. Moisturize as much as possible, oil masks before shower, during and after shower. Good luck

[Honey39]

Best thing I ever did - aged nearly 40! - was realise that my hair was curly and stopped straightening it. It's made a massive difference, my hair gets loads of compliments and it's sooooooooooooooooo much easier.

Why don't you try at the weekend, washing your hair and then letting it air-dry, and just having a look at what it's like? You might be surprised at how pretty it is, and then get the confidence to not always straighten it. I do know where you're coming from, but it is just so great to be able to let your hair be like it wants to be, and it saves so much time, and it will look just so beautiful as well.

[PurpleAshes]

Hi, I'm a fellow curlie :)
All of my life I wanted to have super-long curly hair, but it never got past bra strap lenght. Well, after I noticed awful damage in my hair (most of my hair WAS NOT curling so it looked um... ugly. ) I realized, that if I really wanted long curly hair I had to stop straightening. Flat irons and blowdryers were making my hair break off (that's why it never got past bra strap lenght) and damaging it soo much that it looked horrible when airdryed.

What I did was chop off all the "straight" parts that I could, and now I'm treating my hair gently, washing less often, no heat styling, doing deep treatments, etc.

I know at first it might be hard for you, it's still hard for me sometimes because I spent about 17 years of my life straightening my hair, but I promise you'll learn to love your curls. When they're healthy, you cant help but to fall in love with them :)

[A'eorryn]

Of course I'll chime in that the heat-styling is a hindrance and not a help, but I also noticed you mentioned wanting to use 'household items' to grow it, so I would suggest a couple threads and a group for you to join and see if the folks there have any advice for you:

Return to the Earth (group)(all about natural body and life care): http://forums.longhaircommunity.com/group.php?groupid=165

All about natural hair products (thread): http://forums.longhaircommunity.com/showthread.php?t=10246

Hair Conditioners Home Made (thread): http://forums.longhaircommunity.com/showthread.php?t=19973

I know your statement doesn't make you exclusively interested in natural products per se, but you never know what information you'll find for meeting your needs out of your fridge... like coconut milk and lime juice can go a ways to naturally relax your curls (or so I've read, I like my curls and don't discourage them). Give us a look :)

~A'eorryn

[Aries_jb]

I know what you're going through. I always thought my hair was ugly when I was a teenager. What I didn't realize at the time is that damaged hair does not equal beautiful curls. The healthier your hair is, the more beautiful your curls will be. So, waiting until your hair is longer before you wear your hair curly may leave you disappointed because you still may not end up with the curls you want. The best solution I've found is to wear it up as much as possible while it grows out to a length I find more flattering. This also straightens the roots a bit, so when you let it down, the curls will be relaxed.

A curly's best friend is leave-in conditioner. You don't have to buy something that's specifically labeled as a leave-in. You could just use a little of your usual conditioner as a leave-in. Just be light-handed with it. If it's a lighter conditioner, you could add a drop of oil to the mix (most any type you have on hand, like olive). This will protect your hair and help repair some of the damage from heat styling.

Before you wash your hair, you could put in a good amount of conditioner mixed with a lot of oil (about a teaspoon or tablespoon), and then leave it on for a few hours. It's best to do this on a weekend. This will give your hair back some of the moisture it loses when you heat style.

I know a lot of people have told you that you need to stop with the heat styling. While I agree, I also realize that this would be hard for you. Maybe you could try tapering it off? Like don't heat style on the weekends or vacation days. Use those days for conditioning treatments instead. You could also use those days to experiment with wearing your hair in its natural state.

Good luck!

[SimplyLonghair]

I had very straight hair when younger, but as I got older, it curled, like the others in my family. I wanted curly when young, because all of my family have curly. So maybe the reason that you want straight is that is what you perceive to be "nice"? In order to have long hair, you have to treat it well. That is the only way. It is older hair than most people ever get,:p and must be treated better because of it.:rolleyes:
You can use all kinds of "food" to take better care of your hair. I would recommend the pinning in place and different things that the others have mentioned. Also try finding members that have hair like yours is, and find out what they use in their hair. That is the best place to start. Embrace your hair type is the best advise I can give. It worked for me and I got closer to what I wanted when I started treating it better. :D


This is what my hair looked like before I came here http://i33.photobucket.com/albums/d91/simply_longhair/momnewprofile2.jpgBleached AND fried!