Is it ever acceptable to give up on my hair?

[AlliKamikaze]

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Hi Everyone :)
It's been about 3 months or so since I last posted and my hair has grown about 1 inch in that time. I am somewhat surprised because it usually appears that my hair isn't growing at all unless I actually measure it.
But I've wondered about something for a long time now ... and although it's only somewhat related, I would trust you guys on this kind of stuff first :o

You see, I've been trying to grow my hair out for my entire life. Everyone always says to just be patient and it will grow ... but I'm 18 now and it's hard not to feel like my hair simply refuses to grow as long as I'd like it to.
The other thing that has bothered me is the thinness of my hair, which is not only fine but there's not a lot of hair to begin with. If I put a lot of effort into styling it then I can fake almost normal volume but normally I hate it because it tends to hang on top of my head like more a blanket than an accessory.
Usually, I have to ignore my hair and convince myself that it WILL get better, although the more time I wait, the more unconvinced I become. :(

The one option I constantly find myself considering is ... well, adding hair extensions to make my hair appear fuller.
Part of me feels like this is cheating to get what I want or something :\ while another part of me argues that my hair will just hang there forever if I don't.
I get overwhelmed when it comes to specifics though. If I want my hair to be (almost) permanently like this, what would I want to look for? I can probably force myself to do more research on it, but I would really like to know what you guys think.

Thanks :)

[lora410]

Moral of this story is, do what makes you happy. If you want extensions then go ahead and treat yourself :)

[rags]

AlliKamikaze (http://forums.longhaircommunity.com/member.php?u=12906): As one with the exact same type of hair, I can sympathize. Fine and thin is kind of hard to deal with. That said, I had mine at waist before, and I intend to again! (I didn't know anything about taking care of it then; I may be able to go longer now).

So that is my next question; fine and thin is fragile hair. It breaks if you look at it. If you are being at all rough with it, it will not grow as fast because it is breaking off as fast as you are growing it. So, if I were you, I would look at not only your routine, but how you handle your hair daily. For instance, I can almost never wear even ouchless elastics. They are just about guarenteed to break some hair. So look at what you are doing with it to see if you can improve any of that.

And that brings us to extensions. Long ago, before I found LHC, when I lost over half of my hair undergoing some necessary medications, I looked into extensions. The reputable places- refused to do them on my hair. Baby, baby fine hair (which is what I have and you probably do too?) does not hold up well to the stress that extensions cause. It tends to break. Now, I found a couple of not so reputable places that would do it - but I decided not to, and I'm glad.

Maybe you are not happy with long hair, since you think it just hangs there? I thoroughly enjoyed my two years of shorter hair, until I didn't anymore (and until I started getting a little bit of regrowth!). I don't know; but I wish you the best of luck in figuring it out!

[jivete]

If you want to add some fullness occasionally, I'd go for clip in extensions. As long as you're not back combing your hair, I don't think they're too damaging. For fine hair, wearing them everyday would be though.

Don't do permanent ones. I have baby fine and thin-ish hair (2.25" circumference). My sister has similar hair and permanent extensions caused her hair to break off horribly.

I agree with raqs. Fine hair is fragile and when it's thinner, it's harder to keep it looking good and prevent it from breaking. Mine is fuller and longer than it's ever been, but it still looks pretty wispy sometimes. Waist is the longest I can possibly imagine it and even then I'm worried it'll look a little pathetic. When/if I get there, I will probably get a row of clip-ins to add for special occasions to give my hair a little more oomph.

Hang in there, you might just need to tweak your routine a little. The best thing I ever did for my hair was not do anything to it. No dye, heat, shampoo, brushing, etc.

[Tabitha]

There is a difference between "giving up" and "benign neglect".

If you really feel that striving for longer hair is causing you heartache, then maybe do decide to go for a shorter fuller style if you feel it would suit your face.

If however you are prepared to live with what you have, there is a lot to be said for treating it gently but otherwise putting it up and forgetting about it. No obsessive measuring, no elaborate treatments or buying expensive products. Some people have been surprised at the results they got from just not fussing too much over their hair.

Extensions though can be damaging and cause traction alopecia on your own hair, making it more likely to fall out and worsen things.

[Ursula]

There is a saying I throw around - "Long hair happens while you are busy with other things."

1" in 3 months is a quite respectable growth rate. Even if your hair doesn't grow at that rate all the time, it is growing, and if left uncut, it will get longer. Once hair gets to the length where the ends are behind your back, growth isn't too noticeable for anyone as there are few "landmarks" on the length of your back to let you know it is getting longer, the way that there are with short hair, when it starts getting in your eyes, or gets long enough to tuck behind your ears.

In the meantime, growing hair makes a lousy hobby. Hair is fun to play with now and then, but growth is something you have little control over, and it doesn't do much to occupy your mind. Growing is about as exciting as watching the grass grow. Perhaps less exciting, as grass grows faster.

I've noticed that people here who are very focused on gaining length, and have few other interests, tend to get unhappy and frustrated with their hair, while people who are living busy lives will often spend weeks or months where they wear their hair up and do all sorts of fun stuff are then pleasantly surprised when they get around to measuring, and realize that their hair has grown nicely all on its own.

So, what are your plans for the next 6 months or year? Taking classes? Starting college? Learning to knit? Getting a job? Joining SCA? Running a marathon?

[ChatoyantLocks]

Slow growth does not mean you can't have long hair. In fact, your hair grows is faster than mine. I've gained 1 1/4 inches in the last six months! However, since I've avoided cutting it for a long, long time, I've managed to slowly grow my hair out.

[RancheroTheBee]

If you're going to go that route, definitely go for the clip-ins. They're not going to damage your hair, and there's no upkeep. Plus, if you decide that you don't want it, no problem, just take it out.

If you want to make the investment, go for the slightly higher-priced ones. Cheaper ones have a sheen that makes them look like doll's hair.

[Gothic Lolita]

I second the clip-in idea. A friend of mine has a similiar hairtype. She got cheapo extensions in Thailand which were glued to her hair. Not only was the hair they used super bad quality but then extension fell out after some time, splitted awefully and left behind hair that was extremly damaged. She too wants to grow out hair, but thinks she can't because it's to fine. The "solution" however, made everything worse.

Plus, when you're going for the clip-ins, you can do fun things, like buying fancy-colored ones! I love to play around with colors, but am too afraid to buy chemicals, this really would be a nice option.

[twilight]

There is a saying I throw around - "Long hair happens while you are busy with other things."

that is really, really good. and it's true. "put it up and forget about it" was the best thing i ever did while i was agonizing over what i perceived to be super-slow growth.

i realize you probably have been growing your hair for years, as you say, but honestly if you can manage to resist social beauty pressures at 18 (by growing instead of cutting or dyeing to the newest style) you are doing great! many folks around here got on the long hair train much later in life, so you have a jump on everybody else :)

i definitely agree with the other posters about fine hair and permanent extensions being a big no-no. permanent extensions are hard on the toughest hair (i have had braided extensions and a weave, myself) and can really destroy the more fragile types. playing with clip-ins shouldn't hurt as long as you are careful and don't overdo it.

it would probably be helpful to look into dietary supplements and scalp massage treatments if you want to thicken and potentially speed your growth... those things have helped many in the past. and of course, as someone else said, gentle handling is imperative.

but in the end it is your hair and your decision, and you should definitely do what makes you happy.

[SimplyLonghair]

I've noticed that people here who are very focused on gaining length, and have few other interests, tend to get unhappy and frustrated with their hair, while people who are living busy lives will often spend weeks or months where they wear their hair up and do all sorts of fun stuff are then pleasantly surprised when they get around to measuring, and realize that their hair has grown nicely all on its own.

So, what are your plans for the next 6 months or year? Taking classes? Starting college? Learning to knit? Getting a job? Joining SCA? Running a marathon?

I agree with Ursula!
Obsessing about your hair you get frustrated. Your hair is growing, just slowly, like hair does. :shrug:

You need to find a style that works for your fragile lace of hair. It can be done. Remember always be gentle and then put it up and go find things that you can focus on while it grows. Learn how to be a chef, become a health care nut :silly: anything that you will be able to focus on that makes you happy. Then as you are gentle and careful with your hair and are enjoying life, your hair will grow!:cool:

[MemSahib]

Just an observation: fine, thin hair will most likely show the extensions. I hate to say that but my own perfectly straight, babyfine hair would expose those clips to the daylight in a flash, and mine is medium thickness, not thinner like yours is. I may be wrong but probably clips can hide better in curls than our hairtype.

Another thing you may or may not be aware of: many of us here at LHC experience slowed growth in the autumn and winter and faster growth in the spring. During this time of year 1" for 3 months is not bad at all.

[girlcat36]

Hi AlliKamikaze!
I understand your frustration. I am 43, and have been trying to grow out my hair for 17 years. It always broke off at APL. To make matters worse, two years ago I had cancer which caused me to lose half of my already fine, thin hair. I came to LHC to try to find ways to regrow my hair faster. I have made more progress in the last 18 months than in the last 17 years. It is slow progress, but progress none-the-less.
Cones caused my hair to break, so I got rid of them. Cotton pillowcases were too rough for my hair, so I got silk. Seamless combs made a big difference. My hair will never grow quickly, but it is slowly getting longer. So don't give up, change some things in your routine, and be gentle with your hair.

My hair when I joined LHC. I was completely bald on the bottom half of my head:

http://i222.photobucket.com/albums/dd63/girlcat36/hairdownpic-2.jpg

And my siggy is my hair currently. It is still very thin and has a long way to go, but because of LHC, it has improved so much.

[rags]

Just an observation: fine, thin hair will most likely show the extensions. I hate to say that but my own perfectly straight, babyfine hair would expose those clips to the daylight in a flash, and mine is medium thickness, not thinner like yours is. I may be wrong but probably clips can hide better in curls than our hairtype.

Another thing you may or may not be aware of: many of us here at LHC experience slowed growth in the autumn and winter and faster growth in the spring. During this time of year 1" for 3 months is not bad at all.

Yes, this is why I assumed she meant permanent extensions (which might still show). I do have fine and thin hair, and I know they would show in my hair.

[jivete]

If you put a single track of the clip-in extension at ear level, the clips are hidden pretty well. Anything higher does tend to show as lumps or the clips can be seen.

A single track at the same length of your hair or just a little longer blends really well. At least in my experience.

[Alun]

My hair is fine and thin, and it reached my waist eventually, although I've had no trims for several years, except very occasional 'search and destroy' on my split ends. If I trimmed it back to where it wasn't split I'd have no hair atall, LOL! Sometimes it doesn't seem to grow much because it breaks, but it always seems to keep growing over a long period of time. You'll get there.

[MadPirateBippy]

I am the crazy girl who did all kinds of insane things to my hair (I put my waist length hair into dreadlocks, for instance) and I would STRONGLY reccomend against glue in extentions.

If you want to know why, get acrylic nails. Then remove the acrylic nails. See how damaged your nails are after removing the acrylics? It's the same kind/type of damage that your hair will have. I think it might even be the same, or a similar glue.

If your NAILS can't take the damage, fine hair is strait out.

Now, there are still lots of fun fun things you can do- if you're goth or alternative at all, you can get fun colored dreadlocks and braid in the extentions, which can look amazing and be all kinds of fun.

I'd join a hair up for a month/or longer challenge, learn a few updos, and then go the route of updo + benign neglect. A lot of times that can help thicken your hair- as a fellow fine hair person, I can tell you that it gets damaged and thins from the strangest things. Backpacks, chairs, and pillowcases all want to eat my hair.

[Unofficial_Rose]

http://forums.longhaircommunity.com/data:image/png;base64,iVBORw0KGgoAAAANSUhEUgAAABwAAAAOCAYAAAA 8E3wEAAAABmJLR0QA/wD/AP+gvaeTAAAACXBIWXMAAAsTAAALEwEAmpwYAAAAB3RJTUUH1Q UUDyoqJjAqRwAAAN1JREFUOMu1lMkVwyAMBYe0JGpCNUFNVk3k 4AUwxPGS+ILxkzX8jyTH/Sfu9nrmJ3cXlnMASyWRPwd2d5XlHCBZn1BthcbRAdxTZQDI8k3 mQzg11rhF+QZ9jdNOcQib6GFQYJYgCFucSRf6GsLU6wEY5yubT FqF2yq1vRwr3INXdQUWG+je1pELX4ED1wDyRAR0WfuAA9gloIT yvsFMIMgYInYRqF6rO9Sqz9qkO5ilyo0o3YBwJ+6vrdQonxWUQ llhXeHcb/wabMPkP2n81ocAIoLZrMqn/4y2RwP8DcQ+d6rT9ATiAAAAAElFTkSuQmCC


Hi Everyone :)
It's been about 3 months or so since I last posted and my hair has grown about 1 inch in that time. I am somewhat surprised because it usually appears that my hair isn't growing at all unless I actually measure it.
But I've wondered about something for a long time now ... and although it's only somewhat related, I would trust you guys on this kind of stuff first :o

You see, I've been trying to grow my hair out for my entire life. Everyone always says to just be patient and it will grow ... but I'm 18 now and it's hard not to feel like my hair simply refuses to grow as long as I'd like it to.
The other thing that has bothered me is the thinness of my hair, which is not only fine but there's not a lot of hair to begin with. If I put a lot of effort into styling it then I can fake almost normal volume but normally I hate it because it tends to hang on top of my head like more a blanket than an accessory.
Usually, I have to ignore my hair and convince myself that it WILL get better, although the more time I wait, the more unconvinced I become. :(

The one option I constantly find myself considering is ... well, adding hair extensions to make my hair appear fuller.
Part of me feels like this is cheating to get what I want or something :\ while another part of me argues that my hair will just hang there forever if I don't.
I get overwhelmed when it comes to specifics though. If I want my hair to be (almost) permanently like this, what would I want to look for? I can probably force myself to do more research on it, but I would really like to know what you guys think.

Thanks :)

It's your hair and you may be OK, but I have to warn you - I have fairly strong medium hair and I once lost about 1/3 of my volume in 3 weeks due to extensions. It took a year to recover, during which I could SEE LIGHT through my hair at the back :(. Very scary indeed...I'm so glad it grew back.

Some people are fine and have them for years, but be aware, it can happen.

Could be the old "Put it up and forget about it" advice may apply here? :)

[amaiaisabella]

In regards to extensions, I worked in a hair salon for a year and saw a lot of damage due to these. We only did the glue extensions, so I can't speak for the ones sewed in, but they basically destroy the hair. Once removed, we had a girl whose hair from the ears down her shoulders was practically strings.

Also, with extensions that are permanent, they are LOT of work. You cannot wash the hair and let it be. Because the hair is specially treated, for some reason, it will tangle and knot if left to its own devices. We saw this many times as the girl was either too busy or forgot to blow dry and literally ripped out chunks of the extensions to get the tangles out.

OTOH, I have heard nothing but good things about the clip-in extensions, but as they don't stay in your hair for longer than a day, maybe that is why they don't cause such extensive damage.

[jera]

Try not to see it as giving up. It's not. It's wisdom. If the thicker volumne extensions can give you will make your happier about your hair, then get them and enjoy them. :)

[Kirin]

Don't give up.......... change perspective.

I have baby fine, thin hair. I know your pain. Yes you can have long hair, and patience isn't all its about. Those are great words, but when you look bald with your hair pulled back because its so thin, the "put it up and forget it" is near impossible. I would get asked a lot when I did that for a time if I was sick........ daily, by everyone. Its not a pretty look on anyone.

Fine hair, in a pony, bun or braid pulled away from the face (god forbid unwashed) is a guarenteed "bleh" day, so much for self confidence.

Simply put? Style it. Caruso Steam rollers are a dream for fine hair, and I occassionally use velvet covered hot rollers and even a curling iron. Is it the best for my hair? Heck no........ but it beats looking "bleh" all the time.

There is ZERO point in growing your hair out, and growing it long, if you feel ugly with it. I have zero shame in using mousse, hair spray, and the like to get volume......... its easy to tisk tisk these things when you are someone who does not need them!

If I hadn't reverted to some body building stylers, I would have gone back to a pixie cut 10 months ago.

and i agree, do NOT get extensions, you'll regret it.

[amaiaisabella]

Don't give up.......... change perspective.

I have baby fine, thin hair. I know your pain. Yes you can have long hair, and patience isn't all its about. Those are great words, but when you look bald with your hair pulled back because its so thin, the "put it up and forget it" is near impossible. I would get asked a lot when I did that for a time if I was sick........ daily, by everyone. Its not a pretty look on anyone.

Fine hair, in a pony, bun or braid pulled away from the face (god forbid unwashed) is a guarenteed "bleh" day, so much for self confidence.

Simply put? Style it. Caruso Steam rollers are a dream for fine hair, and I occassionally use velvet covered hot rollers and even a curling iron. Is it the best for my hair? Heck no........ but it beats looking "bleh" all the time.

There is ZERO point in growing your hair out, and growing it long, if you feel ugly with it. I have zero shame in using mousse, hair spray, and the like to get volume......... its easy to tisk tisk these things when you are someone who does not need them!

If I hadn't reverted to some body building stylers, I would have gone back to a pixie cut 10 months ago.

and i agree, do NOT get extensions, you'll regret it.

*applauds* Go, Kirin, go! This is the best post I have read in my time here. :cheese:

[Susana]

Hey :) Sorry to hear you are having hair trouble :S I think you've gotten loads of good advice already, the only thing I am going to add is to maybe just have fun and enjoy your hair at this length and type. You can still do things with it such as braids and half up-do's. Try having fun with it and you might love it :) Some ideas....
http://blogs.smarter.com/beauty/2008/04/02/spring-hair-styles-quick-tips-for-spring-hair/

[Supermodelsonya]

I feel the same way. With my 4B type, some of you women already have lengths that i've yet to see. I want to "cheat" in a way and try to use as many growth aides as possible. I'm just obsessed with getting my hair past my shoulders. I just started on my Healthy Hair Journey in Dec of 2007 and went from Ear Length to grazing SL.

By spring, I was hoping to be past my shoulders at APL for the first time in 29 years of my life. Hopefully MT and Bee Mine Growth Serum will get me there.

I've also thought about hiding my hair with sew in weaves. My stylist is excellent and I've been able to retain my 6 inches a year when I do sew ins. Im just tired of looking at my hair until I reach APL.

[Linda K]

I was just reading this past week (Going Gray & Looking Good) about hair extensions - They sound like a time bomb! DON'T DO IT!
It sounds like they wreck ALL hair!

Talk to a trusted hairdresser to be sure your using the correct products for general care. I can't say tonight from experience, but on the GGLG website product watch, they recommended Garnier Fructis XXL Volume Root Booster. I googled it - the reviews I found were really great! 8.5 mostly. Give it a try and see if that helps the flatness. Mine is on the fine side w/ dry dry sort of rough textured on the top half of my head - the gray stuff. It wants to hang flat too. That being said the product is a spray on - if you find it at WalMart (under $4) and like it - you may want to buy some up. It's hard to find - just 2 on the internet - one had really high shipping ($15 for 3 bottles).

The other thing - what kind of water do you have? We have well water with lots of rust and black magnesium stuff. I have an AquaSauna shower filter on in addition to a general filter and still seem to need Malibu treatments to remove build-up about every 2 months. If I had known 35 years ago what I know now - I would have had long hair a long time ago.

Just something to think about. Don't give up on your hair -
HTH :D