Find a new hairdresser or not?

[Phalaenopsis]

Today I went for my trim.
The last time I went there, I liked it because she cut a little piece off and then asked if that length was okay. She even disencourages me to come often. She said she was talking against her own business: If I wanted long hair, she said I shouldn't come every 4 months. Because I said I was thinking about that.

She wasn't really rough with my hair, but not gentle either. But this time, my hair had grown a lot, so that meant more tangles. She already had trouble combing it out when it was wet before the cut. She combed it with a plastic widetoothed comb. And she janked my hair to get the knots out, one moment I almost wanted to say "ouch".

She cut a bit too much, but I know she had to cut "approximately". So next time I would just say one cm to get two centimeters cut off.

But the blowdrying was awful :? My fine hair does NOT like a round drying brush. Tangles everywhere and the hairdresser's started janking even more on my hair.
And after the blowdrying she went through with a regular brush and my hair tangled and tangled. I was not a happy camper anymore at this point, if you know what I mean :(

I hated the blowdrying part. So at the end of the trim I asked if maybe I shouldn't let my hair be blowdried anymore. If I really wanted to I could do that. But she said in the winter I might catch a cold with long, wet hair. It was not that she was really against it, 'cause she said I could bring a towel or something to wrap my hair in. But I don't want to be nuisance :o and start nagging about blowdrying...

Should I just get over it, since it's twice a year? Or should I go back to the friend of my sister's, who didn't wash my hair and so couldn't blowdry it?
The thing is I like my hemline a lot with this hairdresser. I feel that I'm being to dramatic or something, but the way she was tugging on my hair, I really didn't like it. Why should I get a trim to get the split ends off, if she just makes new ones?

I need to be comforted a bit, I guess :confused:

[manderly]

There's absolutely nothing wrong with asking her not to bother blow drying. Last time I went to a salon I told her not to bother and I left with wet hair.

You could also ask if you could detangle your hair yourself for her, telling her that you have a very sensitive scalp and any little snags hurt quite a bit. That will also have her be a little more gentle.

I've just given up on salons and cut my own hair now :)

[OhioLisa]

I'm with Manderly on this one. Stylists are performing a service FOR YOU. I don't go to salons, but if I did, I would have no problem telling the stylist if she was being too rough, or telling her what services I did or did not want. The best way to get exactly what you want is to SAY exactly what you want. ;)

[Isilme]

this is how I deal with my hairdresser. I bring my own combs, make sure they are well oiled and that my hair is very very well detangled before I come there. (and coned to death, because that makes detangling easier) and freshly washed, preferably still a bit damp. I tell her to cut a cm, that would be two, if I want her to cut one I ask for a half;) I let her blowdry my hair on the cold setting and telling her not to bother with the brush because I'm extremely "tenderheaded" (not that I am, but it makes her more careful) if I think she's too hard on my hair I'll ask her to be a bit more careful (in a polite way)
The only reason I'm going there is because my hemline gets very even and nice, and I couldn't do that myself, after all, she's cutting hair every single day and has a bit training in making things even;)

[Calista]

If you really like how she cuts your hair, stay with her. I would skip the blowdrying - or you could just do it yourself? Can you do that in Belgium? Over here in Germany you can blow-dry your own hair, and it is cheaper.

[Phalaenopsis]

No, you can't do that as far as I know. I never even heard of it until now:)

[rymorg2]

I'm a stylist, and I have people all the time ask me to skip the blowdrying. It's YOUR hair, and that old wive's tale about catching cold with wet hair isn't true. You catch colds from VIRUSES not wet heads, though they can be uncomfortable. Don't be afraid to speak up....we don't mind. A good stylist would rather you speak up to them instead.

[Phalaenopsis]

I'm so afraid they will think I'm a *difficult* client and that I'm too picky or something. But she did a great job although my hair is fluffy and dry instead of smooth and silky. A blowdryer is nothing for me. My hair is already stick straight, so I don't see the point.

[rymorg2]

I'm so afraid they will think I'm a *difficult* client and that I'm too picky or something. But she did a great job although my hair is fluffy and dry instead of smooth and silky. A blowdryer is nothing for me. My hair is already stick straight, so I don't see the point.

She shouldn't think you're a difficult client if you do it politely. It's your hair. Make sure you tell her if you're pleased too, and that goes a long way towards smoothing over anything you want changed. Say something like "I love the hemline, but if it's ok with you I'd rather not blowdry my hair because..." and give her a reason or two.

[Curlsgirl]

VERY good advice. I never mine blown dry anymore. When I did, I asked to do it myself and have never had anyone mind. In fact with long hair they are usually grateful!!! I detangle before very well and then if they are rough when coming I ask if I can do it myself. Never had one refuse that either. Be sure to take your favorite detangling comb. I even take my leave-ins for after because I almost never like theirs.

[Tap Dancer]

You can always leave the salon with wet hair. Wet hair and cold air won't cause you to catch a cold. Germs cause colds. ;)

ETA: Oops, I didn't see that rymorg2 had already said that.

[Carolyn]

I had a stylist I used to go to who did a great trim but I didn't want a shampoo and style. I'd go in with fresh washed and dried hair. I wanted a dry trim. She just trimmed it and there was no styling. I paid the same as if I'd had a shampoo but that was OK. I didn't feel like I was being demanding. I always told her she did a good job and complimented her work. The first couple of times I went to this woman I asked for half of what I wanted. If I wanted 2" trimmed I'd ask for an inch. She cut the inch. I was so surprised to find a stylist who would cut only what I asked for. If you ask for these things in a nice polite and friendly way, they won't think you are being too demanding. After all it's YOUR hair!

[Samikha]

I don't think you need a new hairdresser. Just ask that they make some allowances. Follow the advice of the rest, say you're tenderheaded or have a headache, ask to be able to do it on your own...

I think I might do all of these things when I next go to my hairdresser. She is also less than gentle when detangling - if you can call it that, ripping through - and it hurts. I suppose they're just not used to longer hair. And not used to people who are gentle with their hair, whatever the length. I've rarely corrected a hairdresser before, but it is what I'm paying for, after all. Often we keep still just so as not to offend people. How will they then know to do a better job?

[spidermom]

You really don't have to sit there quietly and take whatever the hair stylist dishes out. You could, for example, wash and comb out your hair before you get there, then all you need is the trim. Or you could tell her you would prefer to detangle it yourself with your own comb and then do so. And so forth. The last time I went in for a trim, I blow-dried my hair myself; the stylist didn't mind at all. She could take a break.

[EtherealJane]

I'm with everyone else. If you like the way she cuts your hair, and you'd just rather it not be blow dried when you're done, just say something like, "wow, my hair looks great! i'd prefer it if you didn't blow dry it though, as it tends to make a lot of tangles in my hair for me to brush out later." I don't think she's going to argue with you over that--after all, less work for her!

Also, coming in with damp, freshly washed hair that's already been detangled will mean that she won't have to rip through your hair either. I'd do that next time, if you can.

[Forever_Sophie]

I heard it's a myth about catching a cold with wet hair, but at any rate, I'd stick with this stylist. She sounds a lot like mine, whom I love (even telling me I don't need their conditioning treatments when it could have been some easy $$/not pushing products, etc).

I often feel pesky/bossy and apologize as I ask her to, i.e. comb, not brush my wet hair, etc. and she was very sweet about it and said, "I'm working for YOU" and went on to say it's my right to tell her how I want it done. And like you said, it IS just twice a year.

[Jim]

When I go in for a trim my stylist usually sits me under a hair dryer for a few minutes to dry my hair. You might ask for this rather than a blow dry. It will also help show off your curls if you have curly hair.

If you try to find a new hairdresser you might end up with someone a lot worse than the one you have. Working with the one you have to improve the experience might be the best way to go. Once you've got it sorted out, you can enjoy the experience for years to come. I've been going to my hairdresser since 1985 I think... gosh, where does the time go...

I've also found that a some hairdressers have just never learned how to comb out long hair. At the salon I go to an apprentice usually washes my hair and combs it out before the stylist enters the scene. I have no problem with showing them the best way to comb my hair. They usually appreciate it. Remember, they want you to enjoy the service and go away happy (most of them anyway).

Good luck with it...

[paper]

The fact the she doesn't cut off too much and you like the hemline. I think you should stay with her. :)

Wash your hair before going there, have her trim it, then leave with wet hair.

I had a bad experience my last trim. Because I didn't speak up. I decided to trim my own hair from now on.

[Buggheart]

I agree with the others. I've been with my stylist for several years and hardly ever have her blow dry my hair. I just don't like the way she styles it and it's $10 more to have her dry it with the round brush. A few years ago I started telling her not to dry it as I was going to the gym or going home to shower anyway and didn't need it styled or dried. She was OK with that. I would also not worry about telling her if she hurts you. Everybody has different pain tolerances. It makes me sad to think that you stifled an "ouch" for her benefit when she really hurt you :( I hope you can work with her so that it's a more pleasant experience next time.

[rags]

I would stick with this lady since you like your hemline. I have asked mine to be cut dry before, or if I know they prefer to cut it wet, I will wash it at home and go in with it damp. I have some very bad allergies, and sometimes the products they use will bother me, so that's what I tell them (and it has the benefit of being the truth - just not the whole truth!)

[heidi w.]

But I don't want to be nuisance :o and start nagging about blowdrying...

I feel that I'm being to dramatic or something, but the way she was tugging on my hair, I really didn't like it.

:confused:

For once, I agree. Yes, you are confused.

Look, you're the paying client. You get what you want, even if they disagree. They can say no to you being a client if it somehow is something they're not comfortable with -- and then, yes, you need to find another stylist.

I think you can sort things out with this stylist. I think the issue lies more with your attitude and approach with the stylist than with the stylist per se. (#2 below)

If you like the hemline you get with this stylist then here are my tips for continuing to work with this client.

1. Do not trim wet. Avoid the whole combing out thing, all the blow drying. Go in with freshly washed hair, and trim dry. Most trims are better, especially if any wave/curl when done dry anyway.

They can spritz (lightly dampen) the hair if need be, but then you just allow for air drying! Voila, problem solved.

2. Work on learning to say no. Life will continue to present you with plenty of opportunity to practice saying no, and when you get really good at it, suddenly you'll find you have to say it less because your confidence will increase in the meantime, and you'll put off the air of confidence, and most will be less inclined to mess with you, then.

In the specific of this stylist...this is a business arrangement, not a wholly close friend. You are the PAYING customer. What you want, you get. End of discussion.

IF it hurts you, it hurts you. No you're not being dramatic, whiny, mean, critical to them, or anything like that. It's ok to say stop, you're hurting me and show how to do it right so they won't hurt you, OR ask to detangle your wet hair yourself for them!

A good stylist would have used a detangling spray! For long hair, certainly my length, I've only ever had one stylist that had experience with my lenth except when I more recently have seen long hair stylists that specialize ONLY in long hair care. Prior to that, I just educated them on an as-needed basis.

There are lots of tender heads out there. I'm one of them.

3. There are ways to self trim. The instructions are somewhere on this site. That's an option.

Hope this helps,
heidi w.

[purplebubba]

I don't know if there would be an extra charge or not but if you don't want to walk out with wet hair you could ask if you can sit under a hood dryer for a while. They usually have a range of temperature settings and the air circulates.
But that's if You don't want the wet hair.

[tina1025]

I have been trimming my hair my self but when i used to go get my hair cut. i would wash my hair and go to a hair salon right after washing it. I also wouldnt let them blow dry my hair. Or let them blow dry just a lil bit....May be you can try that next time and see how it goes.

[Phalaenopsis]

Thank you, Heidi W.

I need to learn to suck it up and say what I want. But it's very hard for me sometimes. But as you said, I will encounter other situations like this, so I better get on with it.