Damage from perm, and cold weather...ends of my hair have been breaking off! Help!

[AquaViolet1973]

I'm going to admit something here about my hair...something I don't even want to admit to myself...As much as I love my perm that I got last year, it did damage my hair.
And the cold winter doesn't help my hair retain moisture. I love living in Minnesota, and I love our snowy winters, so I'll have to come up with a way to keep my hair conditioned and moisturized during the cold months.

My hair isn't getting any longer at the moment because I think it is breaking off at the ends. :( I kind of was neglecting my hair for a while, I don't know why...Probably because I have so much worry in my life, and OCD problems...My hair took a backseat... But NOT ANYMORE!!
I had a tiny trim about 2 months ago. And I really want my hair to get longer and stop breaking off at the ends. I also see quite a few split ends in my hair.

As much as I hate to admit it, I may have to give up perming my hair to reach my hair length goal. The thing is, I can't stand my hair straight. I love having wavy hair and the volume in my hair that perms give me. I have been perming my hair for over 20 years, and it was just after this last perm that I had that I have had the problem of the ends breaking off. I haven't had this happen before. I've been able to grow long hair while perming my hair once a year or so. But this last perm seems to have caused damage.

All I know, is that my hair doesn't seem to be getting longer. It has to be the ends breaking off. My hair is still long, but it isn't getting longer.

Sooo...(sorry this is so long)...
For those of you who live in a climate with really cold winters like I do, what (besides putting up your hair) do you do to protect your hair in the winter?
Unfortunately, I hate wearing updos. I like to wear my hair down. I think it looks prettier on me when I wear it down.
And I am wondering what is the best moisturizing leave in conditioner out there. And any other suggestions for keeping my hair in good condition in the cold of winter would be much appreciated. :)
Thanks in advance... :blossom:

[JamieLeigh]

I know people don't like to admit that cones are good for anything...but they will help to protect your hair from extreme temperatures, because they coat your strands!

[jojo]

I live in one of the coldest areas of England and I lightly oil every morning with apricot oil (though this depends on which oil I fancy). I have only done this since November 08 and have noticed a huge difference in my hair. I also do a deep oil or conditioner each week.

Maybe your hair would benefit from a protein treatement, mega tek is a good one and it encourages growth or a henna placenta mask any of these I think could be the answer.

Good luck x

[Islandgrrl]

I think your hairtype is pretty similar to mine. And mine tends to be dry at the ends - I have some old damage there. My strategy is pretty much to not over wash - I rarely shampoo the ends. I usually put conditioner from the ears down and then shampoo my scalp, then let the suds run down the length as I rinse everything out. Then I use a leave-in conditioner on the ends (the last 4" or so where my damage is the worst) after I towel dry (I just put it up in the towel and let most of the water come out of my hair.

The most significant thing, though, is wearing my hair up. Looks way better down, but if I want to avoid damage, up is the way to go I damp bun and make sure the ends are securely stuffed inside whatever the updo of the day is. I also sleep with my hair either bunned or braided and tucked up inside a buff (seriously unattractive, but hey, it's all about the hair, right?). Very little hair manipulation. I don't comb, only very gently brush with a bamboo bristled brush (very, very carefully).

So far so good.

As far as a really moisturizing conditioner, I'm sorry, no great recommendations. My conditioner is sort of custom-made by a friend. I'd be willing to send you a sample, though, if you like. PM me.

[kdaniels8811]

Catnip soaks (see elsewhere on site) have done wonders for my hair. And it is so easy... As far as wearing you hair up, that is something that has done wonders for mine since it does not get yanked at by coats and continued brushing to look nice. Coconut oil on the length to protect it, also helped me a lot.

[Carolyn]

I think your first strategy should be to stop wearing your hair down in the winter except for very special occasions. You can wear it down at home and when the weather gets better. I have good luck with SMT's for adding moisture. I use a heat cap to get added benefit. Burt Bee's, the WF 365 line, and Trader Joe's conditioners are all good and relatively inexpensive. I recently discovered Terax Original Botanica Leave In Moisturizer. I love it. It's light and doesn't add a plasticy coating. I got mine at ULTA.

[spidermom]

If you leave your hair down, keep it inside your coat. I hope that the liner is the silky or satiny kind. Wear a soft blouse, too. Then your hair can be safe and warm.

[angelthadiva]

I like the way mine looks down too, long and flowy...But seriously, I live in Michigan. It's cold and the wind is blowing. If I had my hair down, it would be so tangled. I don't know what YOU wear, but fleece is MY friend, if I wear my hair down while wearing fleece :spitting: we are talking about a total rat's nest infestation look to the back of my head. HELLO!

I allow my hair down at night AT TIMES, but all waking hours except for some drying time my hair is up.

[missy60]

I have had perms before and its usually when it starts growing out that your hair gets really dry. It seems like you just cant keep moisture in it at all. I have to agree with the protein treatment they are always good for damaged hair. When my hair gets so dry I pile conditioner on and add oil over top. I then bun my hair for a while (I need to get a heat cap).

[LadyEliza]

If you want long hair then wearing it up or at least protected is part of it. I'm afraid that "no perms" is also part of it! As little chemical stuff on the hair if you want it to last.

You don't have to wear it in a bun to wear it up, however. Have you tried all the different things you can do with braids?

Also, the ends that you have now that are dried and damaged, if you leave them the damage will move up the hair - you will have to trim somehow. I'd do a S&D and just try to control the dry split ends and not do a total trim to keep whatever length you can.

Try an oil - but if it makes your hair crunchy only use it just before you wash it or maybe just a tiny bit put on your hair after you wash it, while it's still wet.

[Demetrue]

I am just wondering - every time you perm, do you do the entire length or only the new growth at the roots?

[Deborah]

If it were me, I'd trim off an inch or two. This would deal with your damaged ends, and prevent further damage. It would also thicken up your hemline, and give you a better start for great growth of healthy, unpermed hair.

There are other ways to curl or wave your hair. A slightly damp, twisted bun results in nice, soft waves. By doing this you can protect your hair better, and maybe learn to like buns for the waves they provide afterwards. Some have good success using rag curlers or other types of rollers. And, if you give it a chance, you could even grow to love your own, natural, straight hair.

I know that many ladies think they don't look good in buns, but actually most do. Try a couple of buns, and ask those around whom you can trust what they think. Our own image of ourselves can be a little distorted. I have known women who thought they would look horrible in some new hairstyle, or new type of garment, or any number of other changes. They in fact looked great, but just needed to become accustomed to their new look.

I don't mean to be pushy, but if you are willing to experiment and then give yourself a little time to adjust, you may be surprised at the nice new looks you can achieve while protecting and improving your hair condition. :flower:

Best of luck with whatever you decide to try! :)

[suicides_eve]

For those of you who live in a climate with really cold winters like I do, what (besides putting up your hair) do you do to protect your hair in the winter?
Unfortunately, I hate wearing updos. I like to wear my hair down. I think it looks prettier on me when I wear it down.
And I am wondering what is the best moisturizing leave in conditioner out there. And any other suggestions for keeping my hair in good condition in the cold of winter would be much appreciated.

I bought a slik do-rag from the ethnic section at a hair store, if going out i put my hair under it followed by a hat or what ever on top. when i get where i need to go i pull off both (i'm not shy i'll do it in the middle of the store) but my hair stays nice and not knotty and it's protected.

i swear by NExxus Humcantress.... i have been using this stuff for 2 years and it is the only thing my curl hair takes to. If i don't use it my hair becomes dry and funky. It can also be used in as a leave in which is great , but use it lightly a little goes a longggg way.

[AquaViolet1973]

If you leave your hair down, keep it inside your coat. I hope that the liner is the silky or satiny kind. Wear a soft blouse, too. Then your hair can be safe and warm.

That is a good idea to keep my hair inside my coat. It's something I try to do, and I'll be more careful in the future to make sure every time I go outside that my hair is protected inside my coat. :)

[AquaViolet1973]

I am just wondering - every time you perm, do you do the entire length or only the new growth at the roots?

I perm the entire length. I don't perm my hair often. Once a year, or sometimes once every year and a half. After all the other perms I had my hair was ok. But this last perm I had seems to have caused damage.
So, since I want my hair longer, I will probably have to give up perming...(sob)... :cry: I love how pretty my hair looks permed. But I want longer hair more. So I am thinking I will have to stop getting perms, and achieve wavy hair another way...braid waves maybe.

[Nightshade]

Thing is, it probably wasn't just this last perm- it was this last perm on TOP of all the other perms :(

Really, I bet you'd look lovely with your hair up. It took me about a month to get used to seeing mine up- and that's the thing it doesn't look BAD it just looks DIFFERENT and your brain doesn't always make that differentiation.

There was someone else on the boards that forced herself to put her hair up for three weeks, and lo and behold, now she's happy to do so.

I live up here too, and my hair just goes to hell in the winter if I leave it down. I find misting it and putting it up in the morning keeps a lot of damage down and moisture in. Even if you put your hair in your coat when you go out- I'm not sure what the point is? Yanno? If it's in your coat, nobody is seeing it. You'd be better off putting it up and then taking it down when you get where you're going and have saved your ends rubbing between your back and the coat and the back of your seat.

My hair didn't start really gaining length until I:

ditched the hair dye (which we can put akin to your perming) and
started treating it gently and wearing it up.Perhaps you could start with just wearing your hair up around the house? You could put conditioner on your ends, so at first every updo is also a deep treatment, which you know your hair needs :flower:

[AquaViolet1973]

I want to thank everyone who has responded in this thread. :blossom: You all have given me good ideas. Hopefully in a few months, my hair will have stopped breaking off, and I can take a new signature picture showing that my hair has actually grown longer , rather than not getting longer due to the ends breaking. I like how my hair looks in my signature picture, but I want it a lot longer. So stopping the breakage is a must if I want my hair to get longer than what you can see in my signature picture.
Thanks again! :)

[spidermom]

Since you haven't seen your natural hair in 20 years, you might be surprised to find that it has changed. I'm sure that it looks straight and flat at the roots in comparison to the perm, but once you grow it out, you may find that it's wavier than you thought. In the past decade or two, my hair became a lot curlier. What you remember isn't necessarily what you have now.

Perming is the worst thing I ever did to my hair, especially when I re-permed it after 1-1/2 to 2 years. The second perm absolutely trashed it. I cut it very short to get rid of it, although I'm sure I could have trimmed it off gradually. I didn't mind short hair back then.