Want help, will travel

[Nectariness]

Hi there, been cruising round the board for nearly a year, have troubles with hair, never quite connected the two into posting... ;)

I have very layered hair, the longest parts of which are waist length, shortest are shoulder length. When I was going through a phase of wearing it down, this layering was brilliant, and stopped my hair from going into the dreaded Fuzzy Triangle formation. But now, I want to grow it "properly". I don't know if I could stand chopping it all off to shoulder length... Any suggestions?

Also, I have issues with the underneath side of my hair. No split ends or damage anywhere else, but there it's gone nuts! I've never heat treated, dyed, let my hair billow in a gale or anything! And I've worn it down maybe two days in the last year? Hmph. It's a mystery. Ideas appreciated...

Current routine: wash scalp only with baby shampoo every two days (oily hair), never ever ever wash the length or let shampoo on it. Don't condition, makes it go all bushy (tried many many different types and methods). Oil every day with jojoba. Egg length about once a month.

Thanks!!!
Izzy

[Spike]

So far as the growing to one length, I'd suggest small trims to get rid of the layering. Keep the long length at waist for now, trim as it grows until the short bits are waist, and then just keep it even.

If you're wearing updos, could it be that the UNDERLAYER is getting all the incidental damage? Brushing against things and what not? Maybe swap updos and braids so one layer istn't taking all the heat?

[Bene]

as for the layers thing, you can maybe trim the very bottom, like 1/2 an inch every two months? you'll keep your length and slowly let the shorter things catch up :)


about the other things, could baby shampoo be too harsh? i've tried it as an adult and it's made my hair go fluffy, and not in a good way. but i have very different hair from you. what are the ingredients? and how is conditioning bad for you? what kinds have you used?


oh, and how do you oil? damp? dry? when you bun, do you put it up damp or dry?

[feralnature]

I am growing out layers too. I plan on letting mine get longer, then cutting the longer ones slowly until they are all even, like the above advice given. I would not want to chop all my hair off at the shoulders either to even up :)

[jojo]

I too would think about changing the baby shampoo, it made my hair horrible

[Carolyn]

I see we have similar hair types so maybe I can help. First off ditch the baby shampoo. Baby shampoo is harsh. It's made to deal with cradle cap. Find something gentle and dilute it. I don't understand what conditioner did to your hair. Speaking for my hair, there is no way I could go without conditioner. I would never be able to detangle it after washing. Look for something that is moisturizing. I also question the egg. You could be giving your hair too much protein and thus causing damage. Have you ever tried CWC or CO washes?

[Islandgrrl]

I agree with ditching the baby shampoo. Way too harsh.

How do you wear your hair when you sleep? If you wear it way up on top of your head, you might be getting friction damage on the underneath parts that rub on your pillow. If it's not that, think about whether anything else could be causing mechanical damage to your hair on the underneath (shirt or coat collar rubbing, are the hairs getting caught in a necklace?).

The oiling sounds good but I'm not sure about the egg. Maybe your hair is not a big protein fan and the egg is making it brittle? I don't know about that.

I don't know how you get away without conditioner. I'd be a frizzy disaster without it.

[lora410]

Well, baby shampoo is very harsh on hair. I would suggest a gentler shampoo with tea tree oil mixed in (good for oily scalp) and a good conditioner. My dd has curly hair and her hair sometimes requires conditioner only washes and you can also try that with tea tree oil. You also may want to make a hair mist with a good condish and distilled water and use that daily to moisturize hair. Before you do all of this I would do a clary and some dreep treatments of olive oil. It doesn't even have to be warm. It seems your hair needs mega moisture.

[Deborah]

Baby shampoo is harsh. I'd ditch it. I'd also ditch the eggs, especially if you never shampoo the length. It seems that would build up, dry the hair, and maybe contribute to the breakage/splits you are dealing with.

Good luck with finding a great solution! :)

[Alia]

Baby shampoo fried my hair:(.

[LawyerGirl]

I've used baby shampoo, and it really dried out my hair. My hair also hates eggs... it makes my hair feel like straw.

[Nectariness]

Great stuff!

Just to clarify my issue with conditioner... I can't seem to get the balance right. I've played with the balance of how much to leave in or not, how heavy duty, organic, chemical-y, more water, less water, dry hair... Everything seems to come up with an undesirable! Fluffy is the most common, even if I don't comb it once its dry, followed by instantly greasy, or sticky. My hair is quite porous, I don't know if that has anything to do with it. Any help regarding how to cope with conditioner would be received gratefully...

When I put my hair up, it's always when it's dry. When I sleep, I have it in a bun on the top of my head, but the underlayer damage has been occurring for years and years - slept with it out, braided, and french braided during that time.

What I've got so far is:

- Trim the longer layers as they grow down. Sounds like a good plan.

- Ditch the baby shampoo - any suggestions about what to replace it with? If I do a CO wash, I end up with still-greasy hair, maybe CWC once I work out the conditioner phobia?

- Oil is good. I oil it dry, two drops to each half of my hair from the ears down.

- Egg maybe not so great. In the past, it's usually made my hair ridiculously shiny and soft, especially if I do it every week. But having said that, I'm only just getting back into it again (only one egging in the last year, about 5 days ago), so I don't think it'd be part of the problem.

Thanks everyone :D

[SimplyLonghair]

I think that the underside splits are due to friction and stress due to rubbing against clothing and other things such as chairs and bed and what have you, as well as brushing etc. I would try finding some natural conditioners that would work. Find something that hasn't any dimethicone or other cones as that can cause many people problems. I can use egg, at least once in a while, but I have problems with conditioners because of the additives in them don't agree with my hair or scalp. Just keep looking, find someone that has hair that sounds like yours and find out what they use. Carolyn, is a great example, if her hair is similar then what works for her could work or you. But remember that not all hair is the same and there are many factors at work that can affect you, such as the water where you are and such. I agree with the suggestions on the trims, that way you keep the length, but lose the layers, slowly but surely.

The thing is to take it slowly as long hair is a journey, not a sprint!

Good luck in your journey to the hair that you want.

[nimeera]

I use suave humectants conditioning shampoo just on the scalp, and a conditioner for the length. I gently detangle with my fingers while the conditioner is in. Then I rinse, blot (not rub) dry, oil the length, and put it into an updo. My favorite oils are jojoba, or indian hair oils.

The suave shampoos are really gentle, and the conditioning shampoo prevents drying out the hair too much. I must use a separate conditioner after the shampoo so I don't get frizz head and to help detangle. The oil helps with more detangling, and keeps things from getting frizzy. I find that If I oil, I *may not* need hairspray (or at least need much less). Plus, it is MUCH less harsh on the hair than hairspray.

[spidermom]

Try putting about 1/2 cup of warm water into a squirt bottle and shake your dollop of shampoo up in it. This makes it so much easier to get good spread when you wash. You might want to try washing your entire length with this diluted shampoo because things will build up in your hair. Then the buildup will get dried out, and you can think that it's your hair that is dry, but if you wash that buildup off, you might discover that your hair is actually in really good shape. Also try putting conditioner on your length from about neck-level down, then wash your scalp area, and let the suds run through your hair to rinse shampoo and conditioner away.

I get a lot of under-layer splitting, too. I think it is because I sleep with my hair in a top-of-head ponytail or bun and the under-layer gets friction from my pillow even though I sleep on a silky pillowcase.