Maintain or grow?

[MadPirateBippy]

My ends are a bit ragged from all the exciting hair things I do to my head (for those that didn't catch all the fun, I think I'm one of the few long hairs that got dreadlocks and then un-locked my hair. It was fun to have the locs, but it DID make the ends a bit... meh).

I'm currently at waist and debating between maintaining at waist this year or growing it out. There are some pros and cons here.

Pro maintaining:

*My ends are pretty ragged and tending to tangle a bit, even after trims and pampering.
*I don't have a lot of time to spend learning new styles and my hair is ALMOST to the length where I'm going to have to learn some new updos and the old ones are about to stop working.
*My husband dosen't like my hair much because the ends are ragged in his eyes. No idea what the boyfriend thinks of my hair, I doubt he noticed.
*Part of why hubby does not like hair is since the ends tangle, I never wear it down to bed or let him burrow his face in it due to tangles. Is it more importaint to have the cuddly time or the extra few inches?
*It would give my ends a chance to thicken up before going longer.

Pro leaving it be
* It will get longer. LONGER IS BETTER.
* Maybe when I hit tailbone or hip my hair anorexia will go away and I will finally feel like I have long hair. (this is a lie. I think of myself as having short hair and I have 40 inches. However, it is a convincing lie to tell myself.)
* My ultimate goal is knee length and cutting it won't help me get there any faster.
*S&D's should be enough to keep the splits under control.

So, in the experience of the ladies on the board, what's a better idea? Maintaining for a while or letting it grow?

[saoriiroas]

I DON'T KNOW!!!!! :D

I have been thinking about this for a while now. I did the golden ratio calculator and it says 24 or 40" for perfection. I think my hair is 29 inches long, because of the lack of measuring tape and other measuring devices, I just use my palm lengths, and my hair is 4.5 palm lengths (6.5" for a palm) long.
So am I going to cut off 5 inches and maintain until I can figure out a decent looking ponytail? Am I going to micotrim and keep living with these saltine-dry ends?
I want to cut off at least 2 inches because my ends just drive me crazy, but my dude wants me to have classic length hair yesterday.
Do I really want to lose all that length?
What about a perfect looking hemline?
If I cut it off now, how long will it take me to get to 40"?

You tell me, cuz I am not a great decider.

You have a husband AND a boyriend??? >;p naughty!

[Bene]

You have a husband AND a boyriend??? >;p naughty!


yeah, i caught that too :D




i think maybe if the ends are pretty bad, a small trim couldn't hurt. like if you don't, yeah you'll get to knee faster but you'll have all this time with ends that drive you nuts. and you may end up having to chop more if the damage travels upwards.

[Elainehali]

I'd probably go for more health and a comfortable length.

Learning updos takes up a lot of time...time that you could be spending with your husband and/or boyfriend :eyebrows:

[shrimp]

Compromise?

Cut off half the growth every month.

[Deborah]

I would maintain at waist, or even cut off a few inches now. I hate ragged ends, so I would always opt for quality over length. Also, your hair is already long, just not as long as you eventually want to have. Your choice of course, but you did ask for opinions. :flower:

[wintersun99]

.............

[misstwist]

I would work on thickening up the ends. Tangle-y ends make me crazy, so I would trim as much as I needed to fix that, about a half-inch at a time unless there is a real obvious place where the tangles quit.

[30isthenewblack]

You're very close to your goal length so I would start maintaining your hair at hip. Depending on the damage, you may have to trim back to waist anyway which is not nearly as painful in my eyes as mid back length. In the meantime, keep doing S&Ds regularly.

[Euphony]

40" at waist, I thought I was tall!!

Hmmm I like the idea of trimming half your growth. On average a person gains half an inch a month, how bout trim 1/2" every two months (1/4" is hard to trim).

[cindy58]

I vote for a little trim. I'm a bit past waist myself, and I trimmed a little more than an inch about a month ago. Honestly, its looking good and seems like the length is already back!

I'm undecided about goal length myself -- I started off aiming for waist, then wanted tailbone. Now at times it feels like I've got a LOT of hair and it's long enough.

[freznow]

I DON'T KNOW!!!!! :D

I have been thinking about this for a while now. I did the golden ratio calculator and it says 24 or 40" for perfection. I think my hair is 29 inches long, because of the lack of measuring tape and other measuring devices, I just use my palm lengths, and my hair is 4.5 palm lengths (6.5" for a palm) long.
So am I going to cut off 5 inches and maintain until I can figure out a decent looking ponytail? Am I going to micotrim and keep living with these saltine-dry ends?
I want to cut off at least 2 inches because my ends just drive me crazy, but my dude wants me to have classic length hair yesterday.
Do I really want to lose all that length?
What about a perfect looking hemline?
If I cut it off now, how long will it take me to get to 40"?

You tell me, cuz I am not a great decider.

You have a husband AND a boyriend??? >;p naughty!

How did you measure your hair? The LHC method, going from the hairline at the forehead? If so, did you account for the ~6" on the top of your head? (I ask because I am 5'5" and my golden ratio lengths, adjusted for LHC measurements with the extra 6", are 31" and 46", which is about waist and about fingertip, on me, and for most people. You look to be at about waist, so you're at about the first golden ratio mark.)

Back to the OP, it seems as though you have more substantial reasons for maintaining than for growing. I've considered this myself recently, as the ends are not as nice as they used to be, and the hemline is getting a little ragged. I took off a fraction of an inch the other day and the improvement made me happy. I say, if you're ever unhappy with your ends, trim 1/2 inch off. Then (if you're trying to not cut your hair shorter), wait at least a month before cutting another 1/2 inch off, but if you're still happy with your hair from the last trim, wait another month or three before that second trim. This is the schedule I've decided to adopt, rather than basing it on numbers and strict dates for trims, as this allows me to appreciate my hair but not overdo the trimming.

[spidermom]

I'd compromise by trimming half or less of my growth every other month or so. No - truth be told - I'd cut off those bad ends all at once and be done with it.

[LadyEliza]

I'm planning to maintain waist length (once I get there) for as long as it takes for me to have a good solid blunt cut.

Last time I grew my hair I didn't stop at any point, and after hip length it did get a little ragged.

I don't think it will hurt your hair journey to stop for a year, or less, to let your hair catch up, healhty up, and rest.

[Anje]

Personally, I'd maintain, or even cut a few inches of ragged ends, because I can't stand kinky, tangly ends. They tend to just perpetuate themselves, and I'd be afraid they might propogate upward.

My advice -- I'd do a deep treatment or two to see how much can be healed with TLC, then chop the worst inch or two off. Then there's none of this maintaining business and you can get right back to the growing.

[Chromis]

I would do both trimming and growing. I find that there is such a nice difference after trimming just an inch off that my hair is able to regrow that amount before I feel the need to trim it again, especially with judicious s&d'ing

[NebraskaChick84]

I would maintain until the damage is gone. or actually what *I* would do is cut the damage off...

[Nat242]

My personal opinion - hair care/protection should *not* get in the way of cuddle time! Trim an inch or two - if the ends feel better, maybe you can grow, or as others have said, cut off half your growth each month.

[Silver & Gold]

I think I would try to maintain by taking off a bit at a time and see what it does for me. If it didn't make me happy, I would cut a bit more. I've been going through this struggle for the past year and I have a least one more year (perhaps more) of growing out damaged bits. I find that for the most part the tiny trims are enough to make my hair happy for a few months but there have been a couple times when only taking an inch or a bit more would do.

However, there is no need to commit to taking it all off in one go until you find what taking little bits will do for you.

As for the husband/boyfriend bit . . .

*Walks away and whistles innocently*

[Sissy]

Compromise?

Cut off half the growth every month.

Shrimp's compromise sounds good to me.

[jojo]

Personally if I was your length id bite the bullet and cut the damaged bits off and be done with it, you will still be very long.

[Ponytale]

I just went through this. Hair projections do not work for me because I want health. I had my husband decide how much to cut, and although back at 30 (again) I actually wear it down again and don't miss the length.

If it bothers you, it will probably continue to do so. (Or maybe that is just how I am....type A personality).

[Demetrue]

well, it depends upon how much is bothering you - if it is just the last inch, then take off only one inch and then wait several months to see if the ends feel better. You said that even with trims and pampering, the ends were ragged - when was the last trim and was it cut straight? You look good with it at waist length so there's no reason you couldn't maintain at waist for several months until you get the ends the way you want them, and then continue growing from there. You don't have to spend all of 2009 maintaining at waist - you could just do it once a month for a couple of months, and see if the ends improve.

[Lisa Marie]

I agree to go for health--it will serve the length in the long run.

[neon-dream]

I would probably pick health over length, especially if there is any chance that the damaged ends will get worse.

Same, then when your hair gets longer it will be even more beautiful :)

[rags]

Well, I would take one of two approaches. Either the aforementioned trim just an inch and see how that goes, or chop off the damage and be done. (No, if it was me, I'd definetely chop - I hate, hate, hate tangled ends).

[kam984420]

I think i'll vote to cut the damage off. I think health is more important than length. It'll still leave your hair really long.

[suicides_eve]

echoing others here: trim a bit and maintain until its healthly looking.

Boyfriend and husband?? lol go girl!

[joyfulmom4]

If it were me, I'd cut the ends and then maintain awhile until it's healthier. If you've got a lot of damage, then S&D and microtrims are probably not going to be sufficient for keeping it in good condition and so you will lose a lot more hair to tangles and shedding. If my ends get nasty, then I wind up with a whole lot more hair in my comb. That can't be good for long-term growth. It will mean losing a bit of length, but I think healthy condition is more important and is a better long-term investment. You may not reach your goal length quite as soon, but you'll have better hair when you do (and along the way).
PS. I'd consider trimming the boyfriend too and maintaining with the hubby for a healthier long-term marriage... ;) (sorry, couldn't resist, I'm running and ducking now...)

[Silver & Gold]

PS. I'd consider trimming the boyfriend too and maintaining with the hubby for a healthier long-term marriage... ;) (sorry, couldn't resist, I'm running and ducking now...)

Hee hee, joyfulmom4, you do have an amusing way of putting things!

[Speedbump]

MPB, it's been my experience that "nursing" damage is a pointless exercise in frustration. Every time I have chosen hair health over hair length I have been much happier afterward, even if I missed the length (and usually I haven't).

I am at a crossroads now, much like you. I am near but not at my goal length of classic and I have been debating whether or not to even up my hemline for quite some time now just for aesthetic reasons. If it were damage, there would be no question; I would have already trimmed. But just for looks, when I wear it up all the time anyway? It's a little more of a gray area.

Just realized what I wrote is probably totally unhelpful. :lol: Let me try again: As others have said, if the damage is bugging you, it likely isn't going to stop bugging you until it is gone. I personally would trim.

HTH!

Speedy

[saoriiroas]

I just put a heavier dose of avocado oil and I was wondering...what damage?
I did spend quite a while during a car ride trimming off splits, did an A3MM, and then used a whole 3 drops of avocado oil, and I kind of feel my hair is too short right now...

A few hours ago I was considering a "major" trim... you know, a whole cm or 3.

I am a true-blue health over lengther, I am just a cancerian worrier as to how much to cut, exactly what length to maintain at, what to do with my hemline when I do cut...

Lucky for me, I am not getting a haircut for another month or 3 so I have ample time to ruminate over my mental meanderings.

I am thinking, MPB, if you truly treasure thickness, have damaged ends, do not want to learn new updo's, might wear your hair down more/enjoy hair more if you cut the ends off....
I LoVe deadwood.. I LoVe this topic also, excellent work MPB. I agree with speedbump as to the cutting it off if its bothering you.

Go on with your badself. Its your birthday...

[Unnamed]

I have to agree with the others: If your ends are tangling even after pampering, they should probably go. I may not be much of a trimmer (well, at least recently), but if my ends were tangling and nothing helped I'd trim 'em. I may not be in the thick ends club, but I do believe in health first.

So if they're tangling (ad bad enough to consider maintaining for a year!), it's better to get rid of them so that they don't cause other hairs to join in on the annoyance (and possibly have to trim more in the end).

However, if you're debating maintaining all year versus growing all year: How about something in the middle? You could maintain the first six months (or three, if that takes care of it), then grow the second six months. Or maintain until the ends don't tangle as bad (but no more than 6 mo, 1 yr, 4", whatever you set). Or even cut 1/2" (or whatever a months growth is) off, grow one month (or two months), then repeat. It doesn't have to be a one or the other necessarily. If after six months of maintaining you might find the ends are much better and it's time to grow. Or you might decide then that another three/six months of maintaining are needed.

That'll slow/delay gaining too much length and getting to where you have to adjust how to do updos, get a bit of the tangly ends off; but you can still grow the rest of the year just fine, or just grow slower this year.

Oh, and tailbone (or even classic) never fixed my 'hair doesn't feel long' feeling. My hair still doesn't feel long. It is getting there, though. So, sorry, but unless you've been at the current length you've been at for a while (after my hair was at BSL for many years, hip/tailbone was great--not 'long', but it was 'longer' at least) I'd go ahead and deal with the ends now. Especially if it's bothering you. Even if, say, you get to tailbone, not liking the condition of the ends will possibly take away from the feeling of having longish/longer/etc. hair.

[snowbear]

I think trimming little bits off, but no more than your growth rate might be a happy medium. :)

[MadPirateBippy]

40" at waist, I thought I was tall!!

Hmmm I like the idea of trimming half your growth. On average a person gains half an inch a month, how bout trim 1/2" every two months (1/4" is hard to trim).

I am freakishly long waisted, like a weasel or perhaps a ferret. If I wasn't as tall as I am I would have stumpy legs. I also measure LHC style- from my forhead. Since I have a bulbous, muppet-style head that probably adds a bit to the length measurement. :)

You can totally see how I attract the menfolk now, right? Weasel-like, pudgy body and a muppet head. Rrrrow. :eyebrows:


I've been going through this struggle for the past year and I have a least one more year (perhaps more) of growing out damaged bits. I find that for the most part the tiny trims are enough to make my hair happy for a few months but there have been a couple times when only taking an inch or a bit more would do.

However, there is no need to commit to taking it all off in one go until you find what taking little bits will do for you.

As for the husband/boyfriend bit . . .

*Walks away and whistles innocently*

It's more the dramatic thinning towards the end than the damage- the damage is actually pretty minimal give a) it's waist length b) I've done 2 s&d's in as many months... including a 5 min one and c) I had the Worst Haircare Routine Evah.

The damage is a little annoying on the bottom but deal-with-able. It's mostly the fact that I do not have lovely, natural fairy tale ends, but rather I-shaved-half-my-head-and-then-later-had-dreadlocks-that-I-took-out-and-it-chewed-up-my-ends ends. My hair is generally more prone to having blunt ends.

So, it's more thickness of the braid. :) I'm thinking about asking the hubs to take a couple of pictures of the hair in braid so you guys can see the taper.


well, it depends upon how much is bothering you - if it is just the last inch, then take off only one inch and then wait several months to see if the ends feel better. You said that even with trims and pampering, the ends were ragged - when was the last trim and was it cut straight? You look good with it at waist length so there's no reason you couldn't maintain at waist for several months until you get the ends the way you want them, and then continue growing from there. You don't have to spend all of 2009 maintaining at waist - you could just do it once a month for a couple of months, and see if the ends improve.


If it were me, I'd cut the ends and then maintain awhile until it's healthier. If you've got a lot of damage, then S&D and microtrims are probably not going to be sufficient for keeping it in good condition and so you will lose a lot more hair to tangles and shedding. If my ends get nasty, then I wind up with a whole lot more hair in my comb. That can't be good for long-term growth. It will mean losing a bit of length, but I think healthy condition is more important and is a better long-term investment. You may not reach your goal length quite as soon, but you'll have better hair when you do (and along the way).
PS. I'd consider trimming the boyfriend too and maintaining with the hubby for a healthier long-term marriage... ;) (sorry, couldn't resist, I'm running and ducking now...)

Hahaha, that's fine, but frankly given that my husband and my boyfriend are dating each other... it's not that much extra maintenance. It's sort of like how the second cat or the second kid will amuse each other- I can say something like, "Gee, that episode of Battlestar Galactica was sort of sub-par. Do you think that Gaius is the last cylon?" and then they'll talk about science fiction long enough for me to grab my knitting and sneak off.

Most people assume that my life is much more wild than it really is. :drama:


MPB, it's been my experience that "nursing" damage is a pointless exercise in frustration. Every time I have chosen hair health over hair length I have been much happier afterward, even if I missed the length (and usually I haven't).

I am at a crossroads now, much like you. I am near but not at my goal length of classic and I have been debating whether or not to even up my hemline for quite some time now just for aesthetic reasons. If it were damage, there would be no question; I would have already trimmed. But just for looks, when I wear it up all the time anyway? It's a little more of a gray area.

Just realized what I wrote is probably totally unhelpful. :lol: Let me try again: As others have said, if the damage is bugging you, it likely isn't going to stop bugging you until it is gone. I personally would trim.

HTH!

Speedy

[harpyangel]

I have a trim tomorrow...I'm scared they'll cut too much hair off! I'll just have to say take of half an inch, just the ends.

eek!

Angelina x

[sibilum]

I vote maintain. And I was going to vote trimming the boyfriend too, but since this:



Hahaha, that's fine, but frankly given that my husband and my boyfriend are dating each other... it's not that much extra maintenance. It's sort of like how the second cat or the second kid will amuse each other

Well, have fun. :eyebrows:

[Áine]

Well, have fun. :eyebrows:

I concur. :D

And the ends of your hair... I'd say trim it and just be done with it.

[joyfulmom4]

IHahaha, that's fine, but frankly given that my husband and my boyfriend are dating each other... it's not that much extra maintenance. It's sort of like how the second cat or the second kid will amuse each other- I can say something like, "Gee, that episode of Battlestar Galactica was sort of sub-par. Do you think that Gaius is the last cylon?" and then they'll talk about science fiction long enough for me to grab my knitting and sneak off.

Most people assume that my life is much more wild than it really is. :drama:

LOL! Well, if it gives you more time to knit... :D

It sounds wilder than my own life, but then again, almost anything does. :p

[Sha-na-na]

[quote=Bene;412093]i think maybe if the ends are pretty bad, a small trim couldn't hurt. quote]

I agree. I always trim the ends. Looks a lot nicer too.

[JamieLeigh]

I definitely would trim the ends (and have actually done so, and been much the happier ever since). It's much more exciting to have healthy long hair than any other alternative. :D

BTW...this is my 100th post!!! I'm not feeling like such a newb anymore!!

[zen_oven]

40" and you think you have short hair? Woman, you are baby-eating crazy! Okay, fine, I'll probably be the same way when I reach that point, so I guess I can't talk.

Some serious Ojon on your ends to start? I'm guessing you've probably done that already. If it were me, I'd do small trims until the damage is gone. So it won't be anything too traumatic all at once, but you'll be gradually getting rid of the rattiness.

We need to hang out soon!

[SafoByMengin]

I would trim just like many people here. I don't like split ends or anything damage. Hair is beautiful to me when it's healthy. Good luck!

[talecon]

I would trim but I never trim more than 2 inches at a time. You can trim some, grow some, and trim again until you're happy with your ends.
unrelated - I love the purple in your avatar ;)

[MadPirateBippy]

40" and you think you have short hair? Woman, you are baby-eating crazy! Okay, fine, I'll probably be the same way when I reach that point, so I guess I can't talk.

Some serious Ojon on your ends to start? I'm guessing you've probably done that already. If it were me, I'd do small trims until the damage is gone. So it won't be anything too traumatic all at once, but you'll be gradually getting rid of the rattiness.

We need to hang out soon!

Baby eating crazy! EATING BABIES FOR THE WIN!!

No, we just know I'm a hair anorexic. I think I am ALWAYS going to feel like I have short hair. And I'm always going to want to go for length, but it's so much healtheir than any of the other obsessions I've gotten myself into!

I need to oil my ends. I think a lot of the texture issues will go away with a deep treatment, but that the thinness is what concerns the menfolk.