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WritingMum
January 3rd, 2009, 10:27 PM
This is hard to write. I've put it off for a while.

We were traveling back to my hometown several weeks ago, and I visited my former hairstylist. She's phenomenal, and I have always been happy with the work she has done.

The last time I saw Sara, five years ago, she gave me a great style, which I have had maintained locally as I grew out the length.

I was ready to update the details of the style, because those things change, and can make a style look either dated or current.

Now I understand that most folks here just want long hair, period, and that many would not understand wanting shaping or what-have-you, but I did.

Sara has waist-length hair.

I told Sara I loved the style she had given me last time, and that I wanted to update it a little. (I thought some layers might be nice.) She understood. She agreed. She went to work.

I couldn't see what Sara was doing, but it felt like she was putting in some long layers in the back. Writing Princess was watching from across the room, and she thought that was what was happening, too.

When it was all done, Sara blew dry my hair gently, said "There! I'll get a mirror and you can see it," and turned away for a mirror. I reached up and ran a hand through my hair, and my jaw dropped. :bigeyes:

Sara did exactly what I asked her to do. But I didn't communicate what I meant.

It's beautiful. I look wonderful. My husband has observed that I look both more mature and somehow younger at the same time. It also has the advantage of having lost the darker length from before my suddenly silvering shift several years ago.

BUT.
It's now chin length.

WritingMum
January 3rd, 2009, 10:31 PM
P.S. No hairstylist rants, please. And I don't need "you should have"s. I already know what those are. Empathy would be appreciated. Or even a collective "ouch!"

wintersun99
January 3rd, 2009, 10:35 PM
................

Roseate
January 3rd, 2009, 10:38 PM
I told Sara I loved the style she had given me last time, and that I wanted to update it a little.

So, when you said that, I guess she took it to mean you wanted something the same length as the style she gave you five years ago? Ouch!

Well, enjoy it if you can. I went from near waist to chin last December, and though I'm growing it again I did like my shorter phase; that can be a really nice length.

Not a nice surprise, though! So sorry you got hacked...

Adrienne
January 3rd, 2009, 10:46 PM
This is hard to write. I've put it off for a while.

We were traveling back to my hometown several weeks ago, and I visited my former hairstylist. She's phenomenal, and I have always been happy with the work she has done.

The last time I saw Sara, five years ago, she gave me a great style, which I have had maintained locally as I grew out the length.

I was ready to update the details of the style, because those things change, and can make a style look either dated or current.

Now I understand that most folks here just want long hair, period, and that many would not understand wanting shaping or what-have-you, but I did.

Sara has waist-length hair.

I told Sara I loved the style she had given me last time, and that I wanted to update it a little. (I thought some layers might be nice.) She understood. She agreed. She went to work.

I couldn't see what Sara was doing, but it felt like she was putting in some long layers in the back. Writing Princess was watching from across the room, and she thought that was what was happening, too.

When it was all done, Sara blew dry my hair gently, said "There! I'll get a mirror and you can see it," and turned away for a mirror. I reached up and ran a hand through my hair, and my jaw dropped. :bigeyes:

Sara did exactly what I asked her to do. But I didn't communicate what I meant.

It's beautiful. I look wonderful. My husband has observed that I look both more mature and somehow younger at the same time. It also has the advantage of having lost the darker length from before my suddenly silvering shift several years ago.

BUT.
It's now chin length.


wow, omg, how long was your hair, before the misunderstanding when it was cut to chin length?

SHELIAANN1969
January 3rd, 2009, 11:05 PM
Oh no, I am so so sorry that this happened to you. I cannot imagine and can't offer much in the way of comfort except a big ole :grouphug: and to say that I am truely sorry things came out the way they did.

Since you haven't seen her in 5 years, do you think that she mistook you for someone else or just forgot the style she had given you?

Or like someone else said, did you have chin length hair at the time?

One more :grouphug:

Speckla
January 3rd, 2009, 11:21 PM
Want to know what I got from this?

You look great! You did not get the style you wanted but were lucky enough to leave looking beautiful!
You get to regrow without dye or damage.
________
Georgian Cooking (http://www.cooking-chef.com/georgian/)

angelthadiva
January 4th, 2009, 12:27 AM
Wow; I'm sorry that happened to you.

I had a similar experience years and years ago. I was growing out layers, and wanted a blunt cut to my shortest layer...Which by my estimation should have been at about shoulder length.

Instead, she re-cut in layers...I couldn't hide my dissatisfaction, I ended up bawling my eyes out.

I don't go to salons anymore, for myself, but when I did, I always over instruct (I do this for the boys). I want to make certain we are ALL on the same page.

Lamb
January 4th, 2009, 12:30 AM
I'm so sorry. :( But at least you look great with your new style! I know this will take a lot of getting used to, but think how much more miserable you would be if the new style was an ugly one.

Debra83
January 4th, 2009, 12:38 AM
I'm not seeing a picture of where everyone is commenting it looks great? But, at least it is all healthy...and you can start your new long hair adventure from there. I always made sure when I did go in to a hairdresser - (3 years ago?) - that I said, " please leave the length", if I wanted to keep parts long, otherwise you don't know what you are coming out with. So make sure you take care of it with all the right techniques (no brush, cwc, coconut, vit's, and whatever other magic you've come across) and it'll grow back in no time. Look how fast it was to get to 2009! Happy New Year!

wintersun99
January 4th, 2009, 12:40 AM
It's beautiful. I look wonderful.

Debra83, there are no pictures - but Writing Mum did say she looked great :)

Bene
January 4th, 2009, 12:40 AM
wow. i'd be devastated. my first haircut was like that. 4 years old. waist length hair, chopped off to a boy style. i cried for days and refused to talk to anyone for about 2 weeks.

i'm so sorry :(

but if it looks good, then that's something. now you can work on growing it healthy. but i understand not getting what you expected.

Debra83
January 4th, 2009, 12:51 AM
Debra83, there are no pictures - but Writing Mum did say she looked great :)


Thanks for clarifying...I thought I wasn't getting enough chocolate in my diet so that my eyesight was failing...no fear of that though...I took precautions!

now...back to our regular programming....(sorry for the hijack).

DecafJane
January 4th, 2009, 12:52 AM
I'm so sorry that you lost all of your length. 5 years is a long time to make up and I felt sick when I read that it had happened to you, but on the bright side at least you can take solace in the fact that you look good. *hugs*

WritingMum
January 4th, 2009, 01:06 AM
Thanks, ladies.
Last time (five years ago) Sara styled it to just past shoulder length. It hasn't been this short in twenty years. (I had it short briefly at age 7 when I tried to get a dorothy hammill 'do, and immediately grew it out again, and then again for 1-2 years my sophomore year of college. That's IT. It has always been long. (Funny. Short at almost 9 yo, then again at almost 19, -- at 29 I had it down to my waist-- finally!-- and now at 39 it's bobbed again. Just so long as I still HAVE hair at 49, 59, 69, 79, 89, and 99 we'll be fine!) ) It does look very nice. But it's still a bit hard to get used to. I don't think of myself as someone with short hair. But that is now how the world sees me. It is very strange.

LittleLlama
January 4th, 2009, 01:13 AM
Egad! I'm glad she at least had skill.

Such a shock though. Like maybe getting a bad hack and then choosing to make it shorter to fix it up would have been easier to handle.

Isa-belle
January 4th, 2009, 01:38 AM
I'm so sorry this happened to you :(
But, as others said, the two main big things that come out of your narrative are: you look great - and you are starting afresh with wonderfully healthy and virgin hair.
I really empathize. Getting such a drastic haircut when we didn't want it feels like losing a part of ourselves. But you'll grow it back, and even more beautiful than before :)
You'll be back to being a long-haired in a few months - no need to stop feeling this way :cheese:

Rae~
January 4th, 2009, 01:56 AM
Can I ask what you said to Sara afterwards? (ie does she still think this is what you wanted??)

Ryanne
January 4th, 2009, 03:55 AM
I'm so sorry you lost length, but at least you think it looks nice.

Stevy
January 4th, 2009, 04:04 AM
I'm so sorry that happened! It sounds like it's no one's fault, but it must still be a shock.

Do you think you will grow again?

METABUZZ
January 4th, 2009, 04:22 AM
I'm very sorry, but surely it looks also wonderful. As time runs, hair grows fast...

Delila
January 4th, 2009, 08:43 AM
Miscommunication is such a DRAG! Especially when both sides of the conversation are convinced they understood what was being said at every step along the way.

You have my sympathies.

girlcat36
January 4th, 2009, 08:53 AM
At least you look great!
I am also curious what you said to Sara after, and where the misunderstanding took place.

darkwaves
January 4th, 2009, 08:55 AM
What a shock that must have been! (But I'm so glad it was a good cut, and the style works for you...) Hugs.

MemSahib
January 4th, 2009, 09:03 AM
Oh, my. Oh, my. I am so sorry, WritingMum. I would be devasted to lose five years' growth and I know you are, too. Please accept my condolences. And I would like to applaud the grace with which you are handling this. I know it was a shock to see your hair on the floor and I am not certain I would have been so kind as you seem to have been.

Silver & Gold
January 4th, 2009, 10:01 AM
Aw, gee. That is rough. Obviously a miscommunication and one that will take several years to recover from.

But here is the part that I find cheery. First of all you look both mature and younger at the same time. I would consider that to be young, yet sophisticated. And if your intent was to grow out your silver hair, well then you don't have to worry about that line between colored and virgin hair anymore.

I would say do your best to enjoy what this style has to offer and enjoy every stage in-between as you begin your journey back to the length you prefer. Also, this gives you a perfect opportunity to join the Shorties (http://forums.longhaircommunity.com/group.php?groupid=23)! We're always happy to have a new addition to the family.

Addy
January 4th, 2009, 10:30 AM
:agape:

Oh My Goodness.

I won't say anything you already know but I will tell you that I'll never walk into another salon because of what happened to me when I asked for a trim for my layers when I had them. I walked out with layers hacked to my ears and shoulder length and if I didn't have the responsibilties I have/had, I'd of hacked that girls hair off after I pummled her. But that's just me. The fine would have been worth every red cent. :cool:

I am sorry you have lost all your length but I'm glad to hear that you are okay but there is still that spot that says, WTF just happened?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

For me, I can't go through that again so I'll stay out of salons.

Hope that time flies and you'll have your hair back in no time flat! Good luck to you!

Xandergrammy
January 4th, 2009, 10:30 AM
Oh sweetie, there are lots of people here who go for quality of hair over quantity (I'm just not one of them. :gabigrin: ). I know it must be a shock to suddenly have chin length hair, but it sounds like you got all your "old" hair cut off. You look wonderful. You love the cut. Now you can grow it as long as you like!!! (Sometimes I wish I had the guts to get all my "old" hair cut off, truth be told).

aprilmay
January 4th, 2009, 12:07 PM
I am sorry that your cut turned out shorter than you intended! I think it is good that your hair is now a uniform color so it will look fabulous when/if you grow it long again.

Sissy
January 4th, 2009, 12:32 PM
awww, I'm very sorry that happened. It must have been quite shocking :( I can only imagine. On a positive note, as others have said... it's a chance to grow it all out healthy again. Plus, everyone says it looks good and you feel it looks good so that's fantastic.

LutraLutra
January 4th, 2009, 12:53 PM
Oh my goodness, that must have been such a shock. :grouphug: It's good that you like the way it looks now, and it's great that you love the colour of your hair. Just imagine how lovely your 'new' colour will be when it's long. :flower:

WritingMum
January 4th, 2009, 01:30 PM
Oh, my. Oh, my. I am so sorry, WritingMum. I would be devasted to lose five years' growth



It's worse than that, MemSahib. Five years ago Sara styled it to just past my shoulders. I have fluctuated between that length and longer since then. I've only had it this short as a young child and then again, briefly, as a college student.

A point of grace: during the last year I noticed that my jawline has, <ahem!> softened, shall we say. (I look like I remember my friends' mothers looking when they were my age!) One pleasant part of this surprise is that the jowly lines are less noticeable now. :/

ole gray mare
January 4th, 2009, 01:38 PM
I'm so sorry. Just so sorry. :grouphug: I guess the best part is that your hair is all virgin now, right? You seem to be handling it all with such grace. Kudos to you for that.

WritingMum
January 4th, 2009, 01:39 PM
Aw, gee. That is rough. Obviously a miscommunication and one that will take several years to recover from.

But here is the part that I find cheery. First of all you look both mature and younger at the same time. I would consider that to be young, yet sophisticated. And if your intent was to grow out your silver hair, well then you don't have to worry about that line between colored and virgin hair anymore.


It *does* look both young and fairly sophisticated, and I like it. As for the color, my hair suddenly started silvering several years ago, so if I put my hair up (preferred), I have had a two-tone 'do, which I really didn't care for on me. Now the "natural highlights" carry through the whole length, which I do really like better.



I would say do your best to enjoy what this style has to offer and enjoy every stage in-between as you begin your journey back to the length you prefer. Also, this gives you a perfect opportunity to join the Shorties (http://forums.longhaircommunity.com/group.php?groupid=23)! We're always happy to have a new addition to the family.

Oh, Silver and Gold, that's so nice! You cheer me up. :)

WritingMum
January 4th, 2009, 01:48 PM
Oh sweetie, there are lots of people here who go for quality of hair over quantity (I'm just not one of them. :gabigrin: ). I know it must be a shock to suddenly have chin length hair, but it sounds like you got all your "old" hair cut off. You look wonderful. You love the cut. Now you can grow it as long as you like!!! (Sometimes I wish I had the guts to get all my "old" hair cut off, truth be told).

Xandergrammy, you make me smile:-). You know, I had been scanning high school photos recently, and looking at a photo of my best friend from high school. She had her hair in a similar style to the one I now have. I looked at it and wondered if I would look good with my hair in a style like that. I thought I probably would, "but I would never have the guts to try it." It's a bit rattling, but truth be told, I am amused that I got the chance to try it even without the guts. It does look pretty. -- and I never would have been willing to try it.

Xandergrammy
January 4th, 2009, 02:10 PM
Xandergrammy, you make me smile:-). You know, I had been scanning high school photos recently, and looking at a photo of my best friend from high school. She had her hair in a similar style to the one I now have. I looked at it and wondered if I would look good with my hair in a style like that. I thought I probably would, "but I would never have the guts to try it." It's a bit rattling, but truth be told, I am amused that I got the chance to try it even without the guts. It does look pretty. -- and I never would have been willing to try it.



Now see? It turned out to be a good thing!!! :sun:

sibilum
January 4th, 2009, 03:38 PM
:flower: I'm sorry... I know how it feels... I lost around 5 inches in my first (and last) attempt to self trim. :o

WritingMum
January 4th, 2009, 09:51 PM
LutraLutra,
That sounds good! Thanks~

WritingMum
January 4th, 2009, 09:52 PM
Now see? It turned out to be a good thing!!! :sun:

That's how I am trying to look at it. Sometimes I succeed!

WritingMum
January 4th, 2009, 09:55 PM
:flower: I'm sorry... I know how it feels... I lost around 5 inches in my first (and last) attempt to self trim. :o

Oh my! That's too bad! :grouphug: So you have figured out a different way to handle it?

WritingMum
January 4th, 2009, 09:57 PM
I'm so sorry. Just so sorry. :grouphug: I guess the best part is that your hair is all virgin now, right? You seem to be handling it all with such grace. Kudos to you for that.

Thank you, ole grey mare! That's encouraging.:)

Carolyn
January 4th, 2009, 11:22 PM
Oh my :shocked: I am so sorry. You are handling it much more gracefully than I would be.

Beloved
January 4th, 2009, 11:37 PM
Wow. Well, I am really surprised a stylist would cut off that much length without asking if it was ok. It sounds like you lost so much that you don't even want to mention what your starting length was. So sorry! The good thing is, when you regrow your hair you will appreciate it more than ever.

I had a similar experience to yours (although the cut was NOT cute) and it has made me enjoy everything about long hair. It also inspired me to find a really good stylist who can be trusted with my length. Your hair will never be this short again, so enjoy every moment with your new cut!

talecon
January 4th, 2009, 11:55 PM
something similar happened to me years ago after my mom was urging me to get a trim cept I made sure I told the hairdresser many times what I wanted and she still hacked off my long hair to my shoulders. I was so mad and my mother was in shock that the hairdresser disregarded my instructions. but I learned one thing - hairdressers LOVE to cut hair, that's why they do it. Since then I don't go to salons unless I want my hair cut off. But also like you, my hair came out nice though short too. so atleast you get to grow out a nice hairstyle instead of a terrible one :)

SHELIAANN1969
January 5th, 2009, 08:07 AM
I just told my husband about this and told him when I need a trim or dusting, he is going to do it. he allready does my henna and helps me detangle, he is the only one I am going to trust with my hair from now on. Hugs again and I am glad the cut is *growing on you* so to speak.

BittSweetCherry
January 5th, 2009, 08:26 AM
That would be a shock!

I guess the most important thing that can be learned from your experience is that anyone who wants to grow their hair needs to specify where they want it to end on their body - at least that way it shouldn't be more than a few inches away from what you want.

Nonetheless, it seems like Sara did you a service, even though it might not seem that way right now. You and your husband have recognized it is an extremely flattering cut - something that a lot of hairdressers are unable to achieve - and I hope that knowing your new cut suits you so well will make the shock diminish.

She's also taken out the dramatic colour change that concerns many longhairs, which means that not only is your hair uniform but perhaps you aren't going to have two contrasting textures? I know many women describe their hair going coarser when it greys, but I am only hypothesizing in your case. In any case, a good sharp haircut is an excellent point to start growing from if you wish to try so again.

I know that our sympathy doesn't make up for this unexpected setback, but I think you should be proud that this haircut suits you. It means that you're one of the rare folk who can look good with hair of any length (personally, I would kill for a haircut that would make me look younger and more mature!), and even though this is a long hair forum there's no compulsion for you to grow again if you feel that this is YOUR style. We're as much about healthy hair as anything. So smile, and enjoy serendipity :)

backtolonghair
January 5th, 2009, 08:59 AM
Wow! I"m really really sorry this happened to you. You are taking it quite well! It must be hard since you've been growing out your hair for quite some time. I pray that you will enjoy the process again, all's I can do is sympthasize with you.. I really am sorry.

I definitely think that this a big miscommunication, and she should have clarified exactly how much hair you wanted taken off... This is why I would always say to the hairstylist please cut 1/2 inch, or 1 inch.. I was extremely specific with them.. because when I just gave them a picture of what I wanted, or whatever, they did their own interpretation, which is usually much shorter than what I anticipated. It's like they want to give you your money's worth by cutting off more hair, or something..

Anyways, last time I went, this happened to me. I showed a picture of what I wanted, a shorter style which was about collar bone length(this is before I decided to grow it long again. :)
and he ended up cutting it to the chin!! That's like 3-4inches shorter than what I wanted! It still looked good, but I'm deciding that I really don't want to go back to the salon to get my hair cut again! I just don't trust them, for some reason!

Now, I"m sure there are good hairstylists out there, who really do listen to their clients, and I"ve had some good hair experiences, but I'm just afraid that they will cut off more than I bargained for!

Thus, no cutting for me, unless I do it myself I guess. :) I still get the occasional hair dye done professionally but that's it.

Hope you feel better about things sweetie! Here's a hug!:grouphug:

God bless

NebraskaChick84
January 5th, 2009, 12:26 PM
wow. i'd be devastated. my first haircut was like that. 4 years old. waist length hair, chopped off to a boy style. i cried for days and refused to talk to anyone for about 2 weeks.

i'm so sorry :(

but if it looks good, then that's something. now you can work on growing it healthy. but i understand not getting what you expected.
I had the same thing, I was newly 12 years old, flat as a pancake where it matters most, wanted an earlobe length cut (we were trying to get rid of lice) and my sister cut it to the TOP of my ear, my mom fixed it but I looked like a boy the entire year until I grew some attributes that clearly made me look like a girl.

OP-I'm so sorry that you didn't get the cut you wanted, but at least now it is all healthy and you can regrow :) (((hugs)))

lora410
January 5th, 2009, 12:34 PM
Oh noo how awful for you. It's ashame all that hard work growing is gone :( :grouphug:

WritingMum
January 6th, 2009, 09:18 AM
You ladies are all so Awesome! Thank you!

warmly,
WritingMum

spidermom
January 6th, 2009, 09:45 AM
Oh my goodness; that's terrible! Another reminder to keep my eyes on the stylist when I go.

feralnature
January 6th, 2009, 09:57 AM
WritingMum, ouch!!!

MountainGypsy
January 6th, 2009, 09:58 AM
WritingMum - so sorry this happened but I am sure you look lovely and soon enough it will be long again!

Misha
January 6th, 2009, 10:04 AM
Hugs for you :grouphug: !

So sorry for this unexpected experience.

Rae~
January 6th, 2009, 04:36 PM
Can I ask what you said to Sara afterwards? (ie does she still think this is what you wanted??)

I'm sorry, did I miss a reply to this? I'm still curious. :)

(And I'm not after a drama-rundown; just wondering if you just said, "oh, lovely, thank you" and walked out, or whether you mentioned that you were somewhat... surprised with the result.)

Beloved
January 6th, 2009, 06:39 PM
Writing Mum, I'm nodding in agreement with your siggy. Speaking as someone who recently went through a bout of hair loss, there are many women with hair loss who would think they had died and gone to heaven if they woke up with your chin-length cut. Read www.womenshairlossproject.com for a perspective check.

Pilgrim
January 6th, 2009, 09:05 PM
Aww, I'm sorry and do commiserate with you! I had a similar experience a couple of months ago. Sounds like you are making the best of it and finding some things to appreciate about it. It's just such a shock when it happens!

My recent experience was that I had finally reached waist after four years and wanted a couple of inches off the bottom to thicken up my hemline because I had quite a deep v and then ends were very dry. She cut it to APL! Basically she just cut it to the shortest layer. I still don't know where the miscommunication occurred. On the positive side, it's healthier, the hemline is very thick because my hair is almost all one length except for a little bit in the front on the sides, and the natural grey that I'm growing in is nearly halfway down the length instead of a smaller fraction of the way. And I like a change now and then. But, I would have preferred to make the choice myself!

brok3nwings
January 7th, 2009, 07:48 AM
i am really amazed that you are dealing with this the way you are...and i am really happy that you feel good with your shorter hair. Some long hair lovers also feel great about shorter lenghts. I am glad you look beautiful with it.
i know that whatever we say you are the only one dealing with it, so lots of strenght for you

Allegra
January 7th, 2009, 08:08 AM
I actually have a regular recurring nightmare that goes exactly like this! shudder:

I can't imagine that shock when you looked in the mirror. But like others have said, your positive attitude is incredibly admirable. But you still have my sympathies :(

WritingMum
January 8th, 2009, 10:37 AM
I'm sorry, did I miss a reply to this? I'm still curious. :)

(And I'm not after a drama-rundown; just wondering if you just said, "oh, lovely, thank you" and walked out, or whether you mentioned that you were somewhat... surprised with the result.)

Hello, Rae,

No, I hadn't answered yet. Thanks for asking again. :)

I was stunned, and had a hard time finding words to say. The stylist I saw does excellent work and works with an international clientele who fly in to see her in order to get their hair done. I am not in those social circles, nor do I wish to tack on the price of a plane ticket to a hair cut every six weeks. (I tend to trim my long locks every two to six months to two years.) The new style had the complexity of looking *good*, but being a severe shock.

I realized immediately that the stylist had done what I asked, but not what I meant, and that *that* was a result of my own assumptions about what she would or would not do. Nothing I said at that point was going to put the hair back on my head. I also immediately saw that I looked more youthful. I also recognized that she had done an excellent job. (But my hair . . .!)

So, what did I say? I'm not sure! I took a deep breath, silently and frantically asked God for wisdom, and think I said "Goodness! I didn't realize how much you had taken off! It looks nice! It's much shorter than I expected, but it does look good. It's going to take me some time to get used to it." She acknowleged the truth of what I was saying, explained why this style was a good choice for me, showed me how to style it, answered my questions about how it would look if I allowed it to grow out longer. She also encouraged me to call her if I had questions and gave me her private number if I needed to reach her later. (I think I talked with her twice over the next week).

Then I went out to the car and called my husband, who doesn't really like surprises, and gave him an idea of what was coming. That was a smart move on my part. When I got home he was still startled, but gave me a big hug and said some very complimentary things, which was a brilliant move on his part. :-) Fifteen years of marriage and we have both finally learned a few things about the care and feeding of our mates!

Ms. Hollywood
January 8th, 2009, 10:42 AM
OMGoodness...I'm sorry you had this happen. I've been through similar situations...It will grow back though.

girlcat36
January 8th, 2009, 06:32 PM
Writingmum, you are very tactful and handled the situation with grace.