Need help for stubborn BF.

[xeternalsilence]

I'm sorry if something like this has been posted before, and I'm sorry if this is the wrong place to ask this, but I'm new and not quite used to these forums yet.

I need help trying to find a cleansing/conditioning method for my boyfriend.

He has super thick and coarse, super curly, and super dry hair.
He's also growing it out. His first goal is armpit length. It's a little above shoulder length now.

I honestly think that using conditioner only would do well for him, but he's extremely stubborn and doesn't really want to try anything else other than what he's currently doing, yet complains a lot about how dry and flakey his hair is. Go figure :rolleyes:

He wants me to find other people with hair similar to his and find out what they think he should do and methods that have worked for them.


Thanks in advance :)

[HairColoredHair]

You could always have him join up... :lol:

[suicides_eve]

my bf has thick medium coarse hair and he prefers water only with the occasionally shampooing his hair is currently shoulder length and the shine he has is amazing. He always has girls asking about his "secret" lol. maybe he could start off on just rinse and go and see how that works for him

[xeternalsilence]

my bf has thick medium coarse hair and he prefers water only with the occasionally shampooing his hair is currently shoulder length and the shine he has is amazing. He always has girls asking about his "secret" lol. maybe he could start off on just rinse and go and see how that works for him
Thanks. I'll tell him that.

[xeternalsilence]

You could always have him join up... :lol:
I would, but he doesn't have internet at home.
And when he's here, the only things he'll do on the computer are music-related :rolleyes:

[nienna42]

What is he currently doing?

I have wavy hair, not curly, but my hair is coarse, thick, and tends to be dry. I'm guessing your boyfriend doesn't want to do anything too time consuming or complicated, so I'm just going to suggest a couple of things that have made a huge difference for my hair that are fairly simple. I don't do any fancy washing methods most of the time, just shampoo and condition.

1) Find a shampoo that keeps his scalp from getting flaky. Gentler is not necessarily better--check out the post here (http://archive.longhaircommunity.com/showpost.php?p=872385&postcount=1) for more info on that. For me, a shampoo with sodium laureth sulfate and cocamidopropyl betaine as the main cleansers works best. Make sure that he's just using the shampoo on his scalp. So many people assume that they need to wash all of their hair every time, and that can make hair dry out like nothing else.

2) Have him really thoroughly coat his hair in conditioner and then let it sit for a few minutes before rinsing. Coarse, dry hair will appreciate lots of moisture.

[Anje]

Sometimes you can get a guy to try something once, rather than making a change. When he was growing his fine, curly hair, I convinced my husband to try an SMT deep conditioning treatment one evening. He was sitting there, looking a little like a cat that has been stroked the wrong direction, and asked, "How often should I do this? Quarterly?" I told him monthly would be better.

Well, he rinsed it out and raved about how wonderful it felt, then proceeded to give himself another deep treatment a few days later.

See if you can try something like an SMT (look in the recipes), try it for yourself first to make sure it won't get chunky or weird with the products you used (no sense in setting him up for a bad experience), then see if you can convince him to do a deep treatment with you on some slow, boring evening. He might be more inclined to try conditioning if he discovers how good his hair feels after doing something like this.

[xeternalsilence]

What is he currently doing?

I have wavy hair, not curly, but my hair is coarse, thick, and tends to be dry. I'm guessing your boyfriend doesn't want to do anything too time consuming or complicated, so I'm just going to suggest a couple of things that have made a huge difference for my hair that are fairly simple. I don't do any fancy washing methods most of the time, just shampoo and condition.

1) Find a shampoo that keeps his scalp from getting flaky. Gentler is not necessarily better--check out the post here (http://archive.longhaircommunity.com/showpost.php?p=872385&postcount=1) for more info on that. For me, a shampoo with sodium laureth sulfate and cocamidopropyl betaine as the main cleansers works best. Make sure that he's just using the shampoo on his scalp. So many people assume that they need to wash all of their hair every time, and that can make hair dry out like nothing else.

2) Have him really thoroughly coat his hair in conditioner and then let it sit for a few minutes before rinsing. Coarse, dry hair will appreciate lots of moisture.
He shampoos and conditions with a Pantene line about once a week. I know that he does condition a lot though when he does wash his hair. And he does use conditioner on some of the days inbetween washing as well.

Thank you for the link. It has some great information.

[xeternalsilence]

Sometimes you can get a guy to try something once, rather than making a change. When he was growing his fine, curly hair, I convinced my husband to try an SMT deep conditioning treatment one evening. He was sitting there, looking a little like a cat that has been stroked the wrong direction, and asked, "How often should I do this? Quarterly?" I told him monthly would be better.

Well, he rinsed it out and raved about how wonderful it felt, then proceeded to give himself another deep treatment a few days later.

See if you can try something like an SMT (look in the recipes), try it for yourself first to make sure it won't get chunky or weird with the products you used (no sense in setting him up for a bad experience), then see if you can convince him to do a deep treatment with you on some slow, boring evening. He might be more inclined to try conditioning if he discovers how good his hair feels after doing something like this.
That sounds like a great idea. Thanks!
I do deep conditioning treatments on myself, but never really thought he'd be interested in doing one himself. I asked if he'd be willing to try it sometime and he made a weird face and said "Uh... I guess..." :rolleyes:

I'll make him do it though :p

[GlassEyes]

I agree with your original thought. CO all the way, baby! : D

[Alia]

Pantene is both coney and waxy...maybe you could switch him to something different product-wise, but let him keep his routine? :shrug: Suave and v05 are good ones --conditioners, at least--and dirt cheap. Good luck.

[LittleLlama]

What about a 2-in-1? (others, please add your thoughts!) My DH, though he keeps a tight crop, has very course, very curly/wavy hair and just that added bit of conditioner keeps his scalp in line.

[GlassEyes]

2-in-ones aren't really that great for hair, especially curls.

I think you should switch him to VO5 or Suave for the best results, and if he won't get off the shampoo thing, maybe try getting him some Queen Helene Mint Julep from sally's. It's a shampoo without sulfates, so it's gentler, and it's about 3.25 for a bottle. However, ti's concentrate, so you dilute it, and it can make up to a fw gallons of it.

[xeternalsilence]

2-in-ones aren't really that great for hair, especially curls.

I think you should switch him to VO5 or Suave for the best results, and if he won't get off the shampoo thing, maybe try getting him some Queen Helene Mint Julep from sally's. It's a shampoo without sulfates, so it's gentler, and it's about 3.25 for a bottle. However, ti's concentrate, so you dilute it, and it can make up to a fw gallons of it.
I think I annoyed him so much with this that he's gonna try something different just to make me shut up :p

We actually went to Walmart yesterday to get him some conditioner, but they were all out of V05... which was odd, but anyway. He's gonna try water only today and see what that does for him.

What is the dilution ratio for the shampoo?

[Orchid]

2-in-ones aren't really that great for hair, especially curls.

I think you should switch him to VO5 or Suave for the best results, and if he won't get off the shampoo thing, maybe try getting him some Queen Helene Mint Julep from sally's. It's a shampoo without sulfates, so it's gentler, and it's about 3.25 for a bottle. However, ti's concentrate, so you dilute it, and it can make up to a fw gallons of it.

I started using that shampoo awhile back and I love it! The price for the amount you can dilute out of it is awesome!


I think I annoyed him so much with this that he's gonna try something different just to make me shut up :p

We actually went to Walmart yesterday to get him some conditioner, but they were all out of V05... which was odd, but anyway. He's gonna try water only today and see what that does for him.

What is the dilution ratio for the shampoo?

It depends on how much cleanser he needs anyway. My hair is very dry at the ends, but my scalp gets oily after 3 days. I've ALWAYS diluted shampoo to about 50/50 anyway.

On the bottle it says you can make a "heavy gallon" or two gallons out of it. So, go to the store and get 2 gallons of distilled water. Pour 8 ounces out of these *you can always use the rest for a rinse or spray* and pour 8 ounces of shampoo in each. Gently rock and roll until mixed. Then you can pour into an old shampoo bottle or other container you prefer to use (I use glass bottles because they are pretty!). I still dilute this a bit before applying it to my scalp, massaging in and rinsing. It does not foam and lather like regular shampoo, but I promise it does get the hair clean.

OR

If you wish you can eyeball the dilution he thinks would be best for cleaning but not drying his hair. It's hard to go wrong with this shampoo.

ORRRRR

On the bottle it says you can use a few drops as a concentrate.

I hope that helps you out a bit. Think though. Two gallons of shampoo for four bucks. And it's non-drying, smells good and works well!

[xeternalsilence]

I started using that shampoo awhile back and I love it! The price for the amount you can dilute out of it is awesome!



It depends on how much cleanser he needs anyway. My hair is very dry at the ends, but my scalp gets oily after 3 days. I've ALWAYS diluted shampoo to about 50/50 anyway.

On the bottle it says you can make a "heavy gallon" or two gallons out of it. So, go to the store and get 2 gallons of distilled water. Pour 8 ounces out of these *you can always use the rest for a rinse or spray* and pour 8 ounces of shampoo in each. Gently rock and roll until mixed. Then you can pour into an old shampoo bottle or other container you prefer to use (I use glass bottles because they are pretty!). I still dilute this a bit before applying it to my scalp, massaging in and rinsing. It does not foam and lather like regular shampoo, but I promise it does get the hair clean.

OR

If you wish you can eyeball the dilution he thinks would be best for cleaning but not drying his hair. It's hard to go wrong with this shampoo.

ORRRRR

On the bottle it says you can use a few drops as a concentrate.

I hope that helps you out a bit. Think though. Two gallons of shampoo for four bucks. And it's non-drying, smells good and works well!
That's great. Thank you.
I'll definitely look into that.

[Orchid]

That's great. Thank you.
I'll definitely look into that.

Not a problem. I understand how it is. My ex/off on BF has curly unruly hair and is always needing help. :P