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View Full Version : The Subway guy offered to cut off my daughter's hair!!!



happymommy
December 28th, 2008, 06:08 PM
My two year old and I were in line at our neighborhood Subway. I was smoothing her waist length hair back into her ponytail when the guy behind the counter said to my daughter 'You have really long hair. Do you think I should cut it off? I have scissors right here! Should we cut it?'

To my 2 year old!!!

I promptly gasped and told him that was rude.

Since then I have thought of approximately 50 or more things I could have said. Isn't that how it always goes?

This guy was the manager unfortunately.

Sigh. Now I have to find a new Subway to patronize.

akurah
December 28th, 2008, 06:12 PM
I would write a brief complaint on their complaint cards, include his name (if you can recall it or find it out, otherwise just note that he was a manager), and send it in.

Xandergrammy
December 28th, 2008, 06:15 PM
I honestly think that some people think they are being very witty and clever when they say stuff like that. He probably meant no harm, but I understand your reaction. A coworker told me that she'd love to cut off my split ends and I've been avoiding her ever since. :justy:

JamieLeigh
December 28th, 2008, 06:16 PM
I agree with the first response. You should definitely report that. Such things can traumatize small children! What a horrible man! :demon:

Beatnik Guy
December 28th, 2008, 06:18 PM
I honestly think that some people think they are being very witty and clever when they say stuff like that.
I think so too. Sad, huh? :rolleyes:

RavennaNight
December 28th, 2008, 06:20 PM
Wow some people are dumb and have a serious case of verbal diahhrea. :bigeyes:

EdG
December 28th, 2008, 06:22 PM
That's terrible. Definitely find a new restaurant. :(
Ed

HairColoredHair
December 28th, 2008, 06:23 PM
I'm sure he was expecting "haha, funny... :? " or your daughter to shoot back with "NO!" like kids tend to do.

*sigh*

dolcevita
December 28th, 2008, 06:25 PM
Wow that's kinda creepy... :(

RoseRedDead
December 28th, 2008, 06:37 PM
Am I the only one who thinks that is really really creep and inappropriate? I think you've made a good decision not to go in there again.

kelsoberry
December 28th, 2008, 06:43 PM
Very, very creepy. He probably didn't mean anything by it, but probably just less weird to find another subway where the employees dont threaten scissors on your 2 year olds.

smilinjenn71
December 28th, 2008, 06:45 PM
I read these types of posts sometimes and wonder if those saying such things actually have a hair cutting fetish or something. Like the coworker... I mean, who thinks about trimming or cutting someone elses split ends!:bigeyes:

Themyst
December 28th, 2008, 06:48 PM
You know, I'm kind of socially inept and sometimes blurt out stupid things in public just because I'm trying to be nice and say something.

He might just be a nice guy and simply said something stupid.

Radulfr
December 28th, 2008, 06:57 PM
Maybe you should say to people like that "I dunno. Can I cut your hair off when you're through? .... Well, why not? " :D

Rain76
December 28th, 2008, 07:03 PM
I agree, Themyst. I also tend to say stupid things sometimes, so maybe he was just joking, but didn't realize how it would sound before he said it...? Who knows.

Eryka
December 28th, 2008, 07:08 PM
To be totally honest, I would've covered my daughters ears and loudly exclaim that I should cut off his "ding dong" just to make the game even. This is before promtly storming out and writing a scathing letter of complaint.

Ndnlady
December 28th, 2008, 07:08 PM
There are many wierdos out there! The guy was probably trying to be "funny" but succeeded in making himself seem like some kind of creepy wierdo!:rolleyes: I would definitely not go back into that subway!

invisiblebabe
December 28th, 2008, 07:09 PM
That is astoundingly creepy and inappropriate.... and even moreso because it was a TWO-year-old. It's still inappropriate and extremely rude to say to someone of any age, but given how little she is, she could've gotten frightened very easily.

MadHatter
December 28th, 2008, 07:31 PM
He was probably just trying to be funny.

~GypsyCurls~
December 28th, 2008, 07:36 PM
Yes, complain woman! He should not have said that! People have to tact nowaays...*sigh*

MusingFrog
December 28th, 2008, 07:41 PM
I think he was probably trying to be funny and came off sounding like an idiot (or worse). I can relate in a way. I remember I used to joke to my sister that it would be fun to kill her (pet) bird and eat it; it was all really funny until I got a gerbil and my brother said the same thing to me. Then it occurred to me that it really wasn't all that funny to anyone but me and I quit the "joking".

spidermom
December 28th, 2008, 07:42 PM
I wouldn't take it so seriously. We're constantly having makeovers thrown at us from magazines, T.V., and so forth. Someone saying that he/she wants to cut somebody else's hair is extremely common. We discuss this all the time right here.

maliha
December 28th, 2008, 07:59 PM
I think the guy was just trying to act funny but ended up being a bad villian.
If you would have given him a better answer may be then he wont be feeling it all that funny!!!

Darkhorse1
December 28th, 2008, 08:00 PM
Some people think it's a way to have a conversation. I've heard of people saying horrific things to pregnant women and people with crutches or prostetics.

Glad you kept your composure. That speaks louder than any rude comment. :)

NebraskaChick84
December 28th, 2008, 08:22 PM
I have 2 things to say to this post

#1: I agree that he had a bad case of "i'm so witty" verbal diarrhea. I've been there.

and
#2: I now want subway. thanks.

Bene
December 28th, 2008, 08:35 PM
i don't think it's a reportable offense, just someone who thinks those sort of comments are funny. i'd be more pissed off that this dude (a stranger) thought it was ok to joke around with me in the first place, regardless of the subject matter.

AutumnSky
December 28th, 2008, 08:39 PM
When did that kind of familiarity with total strangers become socially acceptable?
AND, as a manager in the service industry myself, I'd NEVER think that that was an appropriate way to interact with a small child.... ugh.

Chrissy
December 28th, 2008, 09:04 PM
What is wrong with people?????????????

Bene
December 28th, 2008, 09:17 PM
i keep my hair bunned whenever i'm out, but this comment:


When did that kind of familiarity with total strangers become socially acceptable?



is pretty much what went on in my head. like, this familiarity with complete strangers is totally rude. it's as if a stranger walked up to you and said "hey, you could lose a few pounds har har", they don't mean any harm, but they are completely out of line nonetheless.

RedStripe
December 28th, 2008, 09:27 PM
I remember people making personal remarks in a teasing way like that when I was a kid. Some people think that's supposed to be funny, but I always found it both creepy and mean.

happymommy
December 28th, 2008, 09:40 PM
I think he was trying to be funny in a very creepy way, based on his tone of voice. But he did manage to scare my daughter. It didn't help the mental image that he was weilding that bread knife to slice open the loaf at the time.

Honestly it wasn't until I got to the register that I was able to move past stunned and on to offended. Had he said it to me, I probably would have laughed. But I get overly sensitive when people, especially grown men, address my baby in such a manner. I've had a couple of bad experiences when out in public with her and they have made me paranoid.

I did realize he wasn't serious, but I think he needed to be told how rude and unwelcome that kind of humor is to some people.

Sissy
December 28th, 2008, 09:54 PM
You know, I'm kind of socially inept and sometimes blurt out stupid things in public just because I'm trying to be nice and say something.

He might just be a nice guy and simply said something stupid.

yeah, I'm wondering this too. Sometimes people don't know the best way to be friendly or interact with young children. Perhaps he was just trying to be nice and compliment her beautiful hair. Or maybe he was just some jerk trying to get a reaction out of her.

Vicky Veiss
December 29th, 2008, 12:00 AM
Store clerks... well, my most recent clerk story isn't hair related, but sort of a similar personal weirdness! In a fancy cooking store the day after Christmas, I asked where the kitchen scales were. The guy (probably in his mid-thirties, not a kid) told me where to look for them, then chuckled and said he thought he could guess MY weight without a scale.

At least, I think that's what he meant to say, because in the middle of his sentence, just as I got the weird vibe, I turned around and walked away without letting him finish his attempted "joke", and he trailed off into silence. :rolleyes:

For the record, I have an average BMI, and I was shopping with my husband and two children, who were right on my heels. So I have NO idea what he thought he was going to accomplish with a crack about a woman's weight, even when she's neither thin nor plump. He sure didn't make a sale, I'll tell you that...

(I'd have cut him more slack if he was Asian, BTW, since in those cultures it's very common to ask people exactly how much they weigh. It's just not a sensitive subject in China -- "you've gained weight" is about the same as saying "you look hale and healthy".)

EvaSimone
December 29th, 2008, 12:43 AM
Like a few other people I just think he was trying to be funny/tease your child and it back fired. I think you did enough and let him know that it wasn't appropriate and should drop it. If you go back and he says something similar by all means write a complaint or take it farther.

I think threatening to chop off his **** or stomping out of the subway are sort of an overreaction and kind of crazy... not trying to criticize the members who suggested it, those types of reactions just are not my style.

rymorg2
December 29th, 2008, 05:00 AM
I agree he was probably trying to tease your daughter. He shouldn't have though.

Fwiw, in my business the pressure and comments are constant. Being a stylist I used to get it all the time when my hair was around bsl. The gals at my salon are all longhaireds now so I don't get it from them, but when I see the other managers I did, at least until the one manager left. When I cut in March she said "yeah, you needed to get rid of the Pentacostal look." GIVE ME A BREAK!!!!! (and I have nothing against being pentacostal, that's a direct quote.)

Tap Dancer
December 29th, 2008, 05:22 AM
Please contact Subway and tell them what happened. If you don't want to call the store, you can go to their website. They'll need to let their employee know that he can't speak to customers that way. It's wrong to "joke" that way with anyone...but it's especially mean to say things like that to a young child. :mad:

Tap Dancer
December 29th, 2008, 05:29 AM
i don't think it's a reportable offense, just someone who thinks those sort of comments are funny.

It's reportable, IMO, because he joked that he'd like to cut off the hair of a customer. He's working in a place that sells food. He shouldn't be speaking to a customer about hair. And he frightened the poor little girl. Would it be okay for me, a hotel desk clerk, to tell someone with bad teeth that they should go see my dentist? No, of course not. If the employee has bad manners, the company should know so they can correct him. He's representing their business, after all.

Speedbump
December 29th, 2008, 05:34 AM
Wow. Creepy much? Not the sort of person I would want preparing my food. shudder:

florenonite
December 29th, 2008, 05:50 AM
I think he was probably trying to be funny and came off sounding like an idiot (or worse). I can relate in a way. I remember I used to joke to my sister that it would be fun to kill her (pet) bird and eat it; it was all really funny until I got a gerbil and my brother said the same thing to me. Then it occurred to me that it really wasn't all that funny to anyone but me and I quit the "joking".

My BF does that with my family's kitten. I showed him pictures when my sisters got the cat recently and he said "aww, he's so cute! He'd be nice on toast!" My dad, who's really quite fond of the cat, also jokes about fattening him up for Easter, and since I mentioned this to DBF, he keeps bringing it up, too, whenever I mention the cat. I just laugh it off because they're both people I love and I know they mean it in a joking manner, but if they were people I didn't know I'd be very irate.

I agree that it was a misguided attempt at humour. I think you should contact the store and let them know what he did, so they can inform him that such comments are unwelcome to many patrons, so that he does not offend anyone else.

Bhavana
December 29th, 2008, 06:03 AM
Sounds to me that the guy was just teasing, as many people do with small children. I tried to put myself in the same position and I think my daughter, even at such a young age, would have realized he was being funny and said NO! with a sparkle in her eye, but then she has always had a healthy sense of humor.

Try to understandt the guy's "intent" - not everyone finds the same things amusing, but frankly I am astounded at some of the responses on here. Do you honestly believe he said that to your daughter with the intent to traumatize her? You told him what you thought, I am guessing he got the picture. But you still can't let it go and now want to rat on him? Maybe you should call your lawyer while you are at it. Pretty soon the world will be a place where we will all be afraid to say anything to each other.

Dreamernz
December 29th, 2008, 06:03 AM
Creepy ....:(

LisaButz2001
December 29th, 2008, 06:49 AM
I agree with the assessment that this was creepy. I'm sorry, but even if it was a misguided attempt at humor he should still be reported. We don't live is a safe world anymore. This was an adult addressing a two year old and suggesting the use of a sharp, pointy, implement. Paranoid is better than thinking it's harmless and hearing about this guy on the news; everybody thought the Green River Killer was innocuous too...

CestMadeleine
December 29th, 2008, 06:54 AM
I agree with the assessment that this was creepy. I'm sorry, but even if it was a misguided attempt at humor he should still be reported. We don't live is a safe world anymore. This was an adult addressing a two year old and suggesting the use of a sharp, pointy, implement. Paranoid is better than thinking it's harmless and hearing about this guy on the news; everybody thought the Green River Killer was innocuous too...

I agree, don`t forget perversions too. He might be into hair for all we know and want to keep the cut pieces?

*shudder*

I know all my family has made me chop off my hair when it got close to shoulder. And now they tell me I need a hair cut. People need to just let us decide what we want to do with our hair. I bet your daughter loves her hair as it is. No need to change things just because society tells us to.

Phalaenopsis
December 29th, 2008, 08:13 AM
:mad: I hate when people say such things.

I used to not understand what the fuss was all about, but now my hair is at BSL and it is something I lived and cared for. It is a part of me and it is really creepy when someone suggests to cut it all off. :(

Ryanne
December 29th, 2008, 11:47 AM
Wow, that is creepy..

noelgirl
December 29th, 2008, 05:56 PM
That is terribly inappropriate! If he was trying to make a joke, he failed miserably - I don't see the wit of it at all :( And you're right to feel uneasy - it's creepy that that's the first thing he blurted out.

neon-dream
December 29th, 2008, 05:58 PM
I'm sure he was expecting "haha, funny... :? " or your daughter to shoot back with "NO!" like kids tend to do.

*sigh*

Yeah I thought he was only joking like.
As long as you made sure he knew you were offended I think you should leave it, it's not like he would have cut her hair!
If someone did it to me, I wouldn't be too happy either, but I don't think I'd complain

suicides_eve
December 29th, 2008, 07:42 PM
sounds like Don Juan pulled a goof. So funny how they think there being cute when in reality they are just down right creepy. I am sure he meant nothing by it, just trying some small talk, maybe he doesn't have kid and that was his way of "relating". i would still write or call to corporate office and complain..

Sokudo Ningyou
December 29th, 2008, 08:34 PM
Sounds to me that the guy was just teasing, as many people do with small children. I tried to put myself in the same position and I think my daughter, even at such a young age, would have realized he was being funny and said NO! with a sparkle in her eye, but then she has always had a healthy sense of humor.

Try to understandt the guy's "intent" - not everyone finds the same things amusing, but frankly I am astounded at some of the responses on here. Do you honestly believe he said that to your daughter with the intent to traumatize her? You told him what you thought, I am guessing he got the picture. But you still can't let it go and now want to rat on him? Maybe you should call your lawyer while you are at it. Pretty soon the world will be a place where we will all be afraid to say anything to each other.

I definitely agree. Now maybe if he had come around and say brandished his scissors at her or his knife and playacted cutting it off, that's borderline creepy, and definitely unacceptable. But being behind the counter and merely saying such a thing is in no way a reason to call the PC Police. Some people who work in customer oriented services may be good at the technical aspect of their jobs, yet be terrible at dealing with customers themselves. And frankly, if the guy could get me my sandwich promptly, without error, and without me having to repeat myself, I'm willing to deal with his obvious lack of tact.

But I was also in customer service for ten years myself, and I know how hard it is to deal with everyone. Not every person is going to want to be nice to you, or understand your attempt at a joke, and some are going to be downright rude to YOU as a worker. Obviously this guy thought he was being funny, and it backfired. Unless he has a habit of doing it to you, why would one moment of awkwardness drive you away? Is the possibility of driving farther, wasting gas and time, a better idea than merely saying to him, "I don't appreciate that at all; her hair is fine as it is" and moving on?

Stevy
December 30th, 2008, 09:39 AM
Some people think it's a way to have a conversation. I've heard of people saying horrific things to pregnant women and people with crutches or prostetics.

Oh, tell me about it. When I was on crutches after breaking my leg last year a lady in another bed's visitor thought it was OK to 'jokingly' threaten to knock my crutches out from under me. I was totally horrified that he would say such a thing to a stranger.

I also noticed that he knocked the 'joking' comments off when my brother the bodybuilder visited that afternoon. Not a peep out of the creep under those circumstances. Ugh.

Happymommy, I'm sorry you and your daughter had to put up with that. I think you're quite right to go to another restaurant. Also, maybe you could drop Subway an email from their website informing them of the problem.

Drynwhyl
December 30th, 2008, 12:18 PM
Oh, tell me about it. When I was on crutches after breaking my leg last year a lady in another bed's visitor thought it was OK to 'jokingly' threaten to knock my crutches out from under me. I was totally horrified that he would say such a thing to a stranger.

oh my god.
I have a rather sick and twisted sense of humor, but you have to know the time and place, ***!
Some people just lack the feeling Oo

janeytilllie
December 30th, 2008, 12:25 PM
How rude!

The manager :whip: is way out of line if he said to an adult it cold be taken as a very bad joke, but to a 2 year old? is they man insane or just pure mean?


I agree report him there is no need for that. Good luck :D

Themyst
December 30th, 2008, 12:42 PM
Oh, no, no no - I just say he made a stupid mistake comment and judging from what the OP said to him, he won't be doing it again!

I had to go out again today. I was in Walmart (I try to avoid the place like the plague) and an older woman saw me. Over a crowd of people, she exclaimed, "Oh, ain't your hair so pretty! Oh, I ain't never seen hair that long!!" (actual words used).

(nevermind the men and women on this forum that have hair twice as long as mine! This lady would have had a heart attack with that!)

Anyway, as I tried to walk away, this lady said in conclusion, "Well, be careful while you're in bed sleeping! Don't choke yourself with it!":disgust:

Yeah, it was weird. Just the other day I was out and some woman actually lifted and pawed my hair. I don't blame anyone for this behavior, they're just trying to be friendly in their own way.

spunkymonki87
December 30th, 2008, 08:17 PM
Just because someone is in a position of authority does not mean that they don't deserve a verbal kick in the pants :) What he said was pretty inappropriate, especially since small children can't quite grasp that a threatening remark can be meant as a joke. I think you should write a complaint, too.

Chromis
December 30th, 2008, 08:54 PM
Sounds to me that the guy was just teasing, as many people do with small children. I tried to put myself in the same position and I think my daughter, even at such a young age, would have realized he was being funny and said NO! with a sparkle in her eye, but then she has always had a healthy sense of humor.

Try to understandt the guy's "intent" - not everyone finds the same things amusing, but frankly I am astounded at some of the responses on here. Do you honestly believe he said that to your daughter with the intent to traumatize her? You told him what you thought, I am guessing he got the picture. But you still can't let it go and now want to rat on him? Maybe you should call your lawyer while you are at it. Pretty soon the world will be a place where we will all be afraid to say anything to each other.

I can honestly say "YES!" there are many people that say things to deliberately creep others out or make them feel uncomfortable. It's a way of having power over someone including small children. Some people are just jerks. I wouldn't sue him, but I would have walked out and likely would have called him a pervert. That way even if he didn't realize the connotation, if really was a decent person maybe he'd think first before opening his big yap.

Bene
December 30th, 2008, 09:05 PM
Some people are just jerks. I wouldn't sue him, but I would have walked out and likely would have called him a pervert. That way even if he didn't realize the connotation, if really was a decent person maybe he'd think first before opening his big yap.


this had me cracking up. i like how you think. :D

zen_oven
December 30th, 2008, 09:14 PM
All I can say is: GAWD. I'll never understand why people feel so threatened by long hair that they have to say stupid things like that. GAH. :angry:

jdoerrer
December 30th, 2008, 11:32 PM
Wow, if he had said something like that my daughter if i had one, I would have promptly shoved his head in the trash can