Is it safe?

[MotherConfessor]

I have been feeling really ugly for the last week and a half or so... my db is in town from California and the timing for it is just bad. For some reason my hair just wont sit right no matter what I do. My up dos fall and hair just seems to matt when its down, its really frustrating. I know theres a good chance that i'm being hypercritical because he's here, but I know i'm not imagining my hairs moodyness. A friend of mine recommended going to a stylist to get it "done" but not cut. I don't know. I would really like to feel attractive again... but I have not been in a salon since my hair was cut when I was six (a boy cut, it was dreadful). After being on the boards for a while, stylists kind of scare me. Im worried they will whip out scissors and cut my hair while i'm not looking... Advice?:confused::confused:

[gretchen_hair]

I wouldnt advise going to "get it done." simply because they will most likely cake your hair full of product and by the end of day one you will be worse off. What products do you use in your hair? I know some days my hair feels more weighed down and heavy depending on the product i use.

[DragonLady]

I say anytime you start feeling ugly it's time to pamper yourself a bit. Why not just make an appointment for an updo? Just say it's for a party, and tell her no cutting or trimming.

[OhioLisa]

I am totally with gretchen hair on this one. They will most likely use products, heat, backcombing, etc. Why not try a moisturizing treatment or something that you can find here? Do something that you know will do only good things. Salons aren't the only way of pampering yourself. ;)

[DragonLady]

Good points, about the products and heat. We have a great local stylist who won't use those things if we ask her not to, but...I guess she's the exception. :(

If it were me, and my hair, I'd probably wash real well, do an SMT treatment, then while it's still wet look for a new style to try out or a new hair toy to buy.

Then, once the hair was dry, I'd go have a makeover. A new foundation or lipstick can make me feel great. :)

[Pegasus Marsters]

I really think this is a self esteem issue, and whatever you do to your hair you won't like it. Two week rule, don't do anything until you've wanted it for 2 straight weeks.

:grouphug: I hope you feel better.

[Darkhorse1]

Sometimes, when things are just not going right period, it seems our hair follows. I've been having some less than stellar hair days--my hair feels flat/limp and not wanting to style. But, I know my hair has been in these phases before, and they don't last long.

What do I do? I buy a new hair toy ;) I find different ways to work with it on off times, so when I have another off time, it's not a problem.

Good luck!

[Lara1]

I agree with previous poster, buy a hair toy or do something nice to your hair, such as moisturizing with oil or your favorite mask. I wouldn't suggest to go to a salon, for they have a tendency to suggest to cut hair. It happens every time I go to the salon, they have all these ideas how to cut my hair, even if I only ask for updo. Just treat yourself and your hair with something nice.
Good luck!

[Aditi]

I think you need to pamper yourself and your hair, so that both of you perk up.

[Speckla]

Does your hair need a little protein if it's not keeping shape or too limp right now? I noticed you have pretty wavy/curlies and a little protein boost may help add back some structure.
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[Dreamernz]

A good stylist should listen to their client, it's their job and there's a reason why you pay them AFTERWARDS lol, if it's a one off thing then why not get your hair 'done', if not then why not simply ask them what products they would suggest for your hair, but then again if you don't feel fully comfortable with it I wouldn't get it done because it depends on the frame of mind your in for whether or not you'll more easily criticize :D

[MotherConfessor]

I think i'm going to try some coconut milk and see if a treatment and a long soak in the tub helps. I am curious about the stylist, but I guess wrestling with them about not cutting my hair or using too much heat is not going to make it a pleasant experience. Besides, something is wrong with my hair and slathering it with cones will not actually solve the problem. I will try moisture and if that does not work I guess a protein treatment. Dont worry pegasus marsters, not even considering a cut! Maybey it is self esteem, I usually feel pretty good about my hair but the psyche is a fickle thing... I hate to think its that silly but you never know

Mostly just thanks for understanding:):)

[spidermom]

Book a massage instead and have him/her finish by running oil through your hair. Then go home and apply some heat to it. Your hair will look and feel so wonderful after washing it out (more than likely).

[Kirin]

I've learned in my life of experience, is when I feel bad about myself is the WORST time to make any crucial or changing decisions about my hair. (as well as other aspects of my person). The trick is to find some way to "ride it out".

Even if its using some hot rollers at home, a thickening spray or mousse that I havent used in a while..... I feel TONS better than going somewhere taking a risk of what they might or might not do to me.

I've been sick of my hair as well....... so today I broke out the mousse and curling iron. Might it damage it? Possibly, but its better than reaching for bleach/perm/someother crazy thing I'll regret in a few days if not immediately.

[Tangles]

It's weird how much hair can affect our self esteem.

Along with my skin, my hair has gone haywire since I've been home. :( It's flat, greasy, lifeless, and doesn't "fall" right anymore. I just put it up and try not to think about it, because if I leave it down, I feel hideous.

Perhaps try bun waves? Sometimes, my hair looks disgusting--then I put it up in a bun for a couple of hours--take it down and it looks beautiful, shiny and curly.

[MotherConfessor]

Spidermom that's a great idea... I never would have thought of that! :cheese:

I did try a loooong coconut milk soak and that seems to have helped, I think part of me is just curious about this whole stylist thing... I mean what do these ladies know that I don't? I don't want it cut, I am just curious to see how it would look styled. Retrospectively I just don't think the heat damage is worth it.

[mellie]

Don't go! You are beautiful!!

I tried going to a salon for the first time in years and completely regretted it. It was like a different world! (A scary one!) It was an expensive place too. But immediately I smelled the chemicals, and the frosted razor cut hair (does everyone in the world do foils now???) was on every head, and I felt very out of place. Yet, I felt obligated to stay (even though my gut said "Run run run!!!"). It was a terrible experience that left my scalp burning and my hair smelling horribly of chemicals and put me in a really terrible mood. I made my DH promise to never let me go to a salon again, actually!

[MotherConfessor]

Thank you Mellie! I don't think I will end up going, its just not worth the damage... I guess it was mostly curiosity combined with my hair so badly misbehaving. Sigh... Its not back in shape yet, but at least its improved.

[mellie]

Good! I agree, it's definitely not worth the damage! I think your hair looks beautiful!! :-)