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ursusem
December 24th, 2008, 12:30 PM
I've thought about it and come to the conclusion that my earlier goals may have been a bit unrealistic and I was being too demanding of assistance from this group. :/

The overall response that I got from this group yesterday seemed to explain to me that "everyone's hair is different"- so therefore no one wanted to tell me any routines; everyone thought that I would be better off "experimenting" (is that right?)

I am prompted to come up with my own ideas, in other words.

So I started by just making a common sense (nothing fancy) quick assumption as to what my real hair most likely, genetically, is like. I have decided that I think my hair probably fits into the category of "thin and fine."
So that is what I think now... Isn't that interesting to know?

Now what to do about it.....

Melisande
December 24th, 2008, 01:31 PM
I've seen a lot of newbies arrive at this site but never one who told so little of herself and complained so much about not getting any assistance! You received quite a lot of good links already.

My advice, and believe me it is good although it seems you count only advice from people with longer hair than yours..., my advice is: first find out your hairtype. You have the link already. Then define your problems. Thin, fine hair is not problematic in itself. With good and proper care, it's beautiful.

There is no way we can help you if you come here, state "who can help me? why doesn't anybody help me?" without defining what kind of help you need. What is bothering you? Is your hair flat, does it suffer from split ends, do you have scalp problems, do you find it difficult to make hairstyles, does your hair color bother you? Please understand that there is no general advice, only specific advice. Tell us your problem, in a thread with a well defined, precise title, and you will get so much help that you'll feel overwhelmed. Precise questions. I have asked the weirdest questions here and always received helpful answers. I promise you that you will have the same experience.

A good place to start might be this (http://forums.longhaircommunity.com/showthread.php?t=17115)thread.

Your hair is quite long already, so you must be doing something right. Read the standard advice for newbies, look around in the articles section, there you will find explanations about hair problems, and solutions, too.

List your routine. Shampoo, conditioner, wash technique and frequency, treatments, tools, everything that others here mention. Do you use oils, balsam, spray, did you perm, color, straighten, blowdry?

Nobody can help you if you don't let yourself be helped, and that means by giving precise information and asking specific questions. This is the most helpful community I ever encountered (only the German equivalent of this forum is as helpful and friendly), and I find your reproachful tone a bit out of place. I hope you'll find your place here and benefit from the wealth of good advice and kindness that is characteristic of TLHC. I'm certain that you also have good advice to give and will like to share it.

LisaJaney
December 24th, 2008, 03:41 PM
It's not so much that nobody wants to help, it's that you've told us nothing that can help us pinpoint where to start. It's like saying you need directions so you can take a trip to see a lake nearby, but you don't tell us what continent you live on, so we have no idea which lake to point you to.

And the business of "everyone's hair is different" really is true, and isn't as little-help as it seems. I have a good friend here whose hair is nearly IDENTICAL to mine: same texture (it's fine, like mine) same amount of hair (we both have skinny-ish ponytails) and same amount of waves. My hair LOVES a certain conditioner to clean it. She can't STAND it for her hair; it doesn't work at all. Water-hardness is also a factor that can affect what works for us -- I think her water is different or something, is why the conditioner doesn't work for her.

So yeah, we all do have to do a bit of figuring-out what works. I could tell her "Hey, Babe, you gotta clean with this product because your hair is just like mine" (and I did) but it didn't work worth a darn for her. She has a shampoo and condish she really likes that I tried (same hair, right?) and I HATED it. Wretched stuff. For ME. For her, it's like manna from heaven. For me, it's completely worthless. Same hair, totally different products. So people aren't just blowing smoke at you when they tell you that. We can give you general ideas, but ultimately you're the one that's going to have to try it on your hair and see what works and what doesn't.

One thing I CAN tell you for certain is this: when you try something new, only try ONE thing at a time, and give it 4 - 6 washes (sometimes more) to SEE if your hair likes it or not. You can tell your hair doesn't like something because it becomes more prone to knot/snarl/tangle, or the ends feel dry and crunchy like straw or like barbie-doll hair, when that Barbie has been dragged around the house for a few weeks by a 4 year old. If the hair seems soft and shiny and manageable, then you may have landed on a routine that works for you.

And the last thing that I can tell you with certainty is that it's all going to take time: the growing of the hair, the learning what works, and learning how this group functions. Like Melisande said: it is one of the friendliest communities on the net, but they do close-ranks quickly when they feel their chain is being yanked.

Dreamernz
December 25th, 2008, 12:03 PM
I agree totally with everything that's been said here, in order to get help, you must tell us what the problem is. If you say help me! I would say with what? All you need is some precision and a bit of patience and you'll find that this site will work wonders, with proper utilization i'm sure that you could healthily benefit from the great advice that is given here and yourself therefore gain knowledge, being able to help others as you yourself find what's best for you. I'm sure you don't mean to, but the tone you've assumed does not seem to be very grateful or understanding, you need to understand that with resepect you get respect and if you follow all the advice that has been given to you, I'm sure you will in good time become an excellent contribution to this community as many others have become. This is all simply a friendly nudge in the right direction, good luck! :D:D:D