Laughed at for bad hairdo

[Phalaenopsis]

I've been quite ill lately. They've tought about everything. Rheumatism, fibromyalgia, viruses
My fingers were hurting most of the time; I am tired quickly, my muscles ache...
Finally, my fingers were a bit better and my hair has been driving me crazy lately. Just washing it tires me sometimes. When I'm resting sometimes I just don't like all that hair in my way. So on a good day like today I found my chance to braid my hair in twelve little braids to get it out of the way.

I was so proud, because I thought I did well with the braiding and my hair was finally out of my way. I showed it too my family and they just laughed at me.:(
They made me turn around and then my mother took my braids together and said: "I just want to do THIS" and she "snipped" my hair with her fingers.
I really don't like that. It's scary :?

[Alana2000]

Thats not nice at all, total mockary! Did they think you were joking? Maybe it was a "we'er laughing with you dear.." kind of thing. And the whole thing of snipping is very disrespectful.

[Anje]

That's just mean. *bad mom!*

Have you been checked for Epstein-Barr mononucleosis? That can take you out for a few weeks, at least, and it will definitely have you feeling generally run down.

[RavennaNight]

:grouphug: That was mean. Didn't they know you weren't feeling well?

[Spike]

Pat, pat, pat.

That's just mean, especially when you aren't feeling well. :mad:

[Kerynna]

I'm sorry. That's just awful; there is no excuse for the way some people behave.

[burns_erin]

Oh, I am sorry you have been feeling unwell and they were so very rude to you. Hopefully you start to feeling better and they find out what is wrong with you so it can be treated. And if your family feels your braiding skills are lacking, well, you can always tell them they are free to help you out by braiding it for you. Many people who do not spend any time braiding do not realize what a skill it is, especially when doing it on oneself.

[neon-dream]

That's not nice :(.
Hope you're feeling better soon!

[CindyLea1]

:pins: Evil I tell you.

Maybe, it would have been funny if you were feeling better.

I know how you feel, though. All the women in my family have super short hair, and they harp on the cutting to no end. Even after I told them in no uncertain terms to drop it!

I hope you get feeling better very soon. :blossom:

CindyLea

[Isblå]

Oh, poor thing. I hope you will feel better soon! Although the teasing was rude and a bit mean, I hope it wasn't meant like that. Things like that gets to you so much more when one are tired and sick. The braiding sounds really neat to me, to get the hair out of the way. How did you divide up the hair for the braids?

[Phalaenopsis]

That's just mean. *bad mom!*

Have you been checked for Epstein-Barr mononucleosis? That can take you out for a few weeks, at least, and it will definitely have you feeling generally run down.

Yes, that's been tested, about everything has been tested. :?
I'm still waiting for one blood test, it takes two weeks.

@Alana: Yes, I think it was a little bit just that, but somehow that cutting my hair with her fingers got to me.

@RavennaNight: Yes, they know I'm not well. But even when a friend came to visit me because I'm ill, he said: hmm, they're not being really nice to you when you're ill.
He came in, and I was still taking a nap and my mother put her cold hand in my neck. She thought it wasn't polite of me lying there when someone came to visit me.

[Phalaenopsis]

Oh, poor thing. I hope you will feel better soon! Although the teasing was rude and a bit mean, I hope it wasn't meant like that. Things like that gets to you so much more when one are tired and sick. The braiding sounds really neat to me, to get the hair out of the way. How did you divide up the hair for the braids?

I divided my hair in four parts vertically. And each part was divided in three again. Two on the top, one at the bottom.

Thank you everyone for the comments. I think it is because I'm not feeling well. I have never had this before, someone trying to 'cut' my hair. And it scared me. The last few weeks everyone is saying how long my hair has gotten. (in the "outside world" everyone thinks BSL is long :)) And I'm getting sensitive about my hair.

[WindowDressing]

I divided my hair in four parts vertically. And each part was divided in three again. Two on the top, one at the bottom.

Thank you everyone for the comments. I think it is because I'm not feeling well. I have never had this before, someone trying to 'cut' my hair. And it scared me. The last few weeks everyone is saying how long my hair has gotten. (in the "outside world" everyone thinks BSL is long :)) And I'm getting sensitive about my hair.


Prayers for you to get a diagnosis, dear Phalaenopsis. Yes, that is mean, no doubt about it. My clan of origin is the same way. I stay far away. Only my older bro is nice to me. Pffft. But they are mean to him too. So pfft on all of them.

Hang in there. They are narrowing down the possible causes. Once you know, then treatment can begin.

Love and Hugs!
WD ;)

[Comfrey]

Lovey I cant even braid my own hair, because I'm an utter klutz. Now with FM and probable ME, its doubtful I'll ever learn.

So WELL DONE to you and ignore the comments if you can. :grouphug:

[angelthadiva]

Well, my Sweets, Christmas is around the corner...I'd say give them all coal! :)

[Shadow]

Sometimes people try to be funny but get it horribly wrong. It's just rotten luck that it came at a time when you're not feling your best to begin with.

Chin up Sweetie...it'll get better and when you're feeling stronger you can have a chat to them about it what they said and how bad it made you feel.

Good luck :)

[Ryanne]

That's mean, especially when you're unwell!
I hope you're feeling better soon.

[~GypsyCurls~]

I'm thinking since they're your family, they didn't mean to offend you, but that was pretty mean. I think everyone here would be as scared if someone made a joke about their hair being snipped off...maybe you could have a talk with them and let them know how their behavior and laughter made you feel?

*hugs*

[morguebabe]

I'm sorry. Hugs.

[Phalaenopsis]

Thank you all for your support. I'm feeling tired now and I've calmed down a bit.

[Laila23]

Sounds like verbal abuse to me. :undecided (?) If you feel that someone is saying mean things to you and even if you feel scared, I softly recommend you to say to them "stop it" in a firm voice and not yelling.

I hope that you feel better soon. :heartbeat

Have you tried yoga for your fatigue? some say it really helps.

[burns_erin]

Well, my Sweets, Christmas is around the corner...I'd say give them all coal! :)

Now now, wouldn't want to do that, there is always the off chance there would be a diamond in there.

[Angellen]

:grouphug: Poor you. What an awful thing to do. I get wary, too, when someone gestures at cutting my hair. I hope you feel better soon!!!

[spidermom]

Doing 12 braids sounds pretty exhausting to me. My go-to style for being sick/tired is a top-of-head ponytail. I do hope you will be feeling better soon. Some of these viral things (I have one right now) drag on and on for what seems like forever.

As for your family poking fun - shame on them! Don't hold back; let them know exactly how you feel about it.

[busnutmedic]

Aw. I'm sorry :(

[jojo]

Thats mean it must have been very painful for you to achieve that, my hands would ache if i tried doing that. Sorry you feel sad, id like to see your style ajoyfulnoise did something similar in one of her siggis and it was beautiful . some people just dont know a good hair style when they see one. Chin up!

[redtea]

I would put up with those sorts of comments a lot from my mother when I was younger and they used to really bother me. Moving out helped a lot and gave me some perspective. I don't see her often anymore, but when she makes those kinds of comments now, I just laugh, tell her off in a joking sort of way, and let it go. That's just how she is and she never really intends to be mean.. she just speaks without thinking sometimes. She's not at all fond of long hair either :p

Anyway, try not to let it get to you too much, even though it's difficult when you're not feeling well. I hope they find out what's wrong with you soon!

[Phalaenopsis]

Doing 12 braids sounds pretty exhausting to me. My go-to style for being sick/tired is a top-of-head ponytail. I do hope you will be feeling better soon. Some of these viral things (I have one right now) drag on and on for what seems like forever.

As for your family poking fun - shame on them! Don't hold back; let them know exactly how you feel about it.

It was exhausting. Now I kind of think that it was a bad idea, because my fingers start to ache again. It was just, I wanted it out of my way. I have fine hair and it's so spiderwebby.

[Darkhorse1]

I am SO sorry! I think you should tell your mom/family how that made you feel. My mom has fibro and it's a very painful problem, as well as rheumatisum!! Do they not understand how much achyness you have? That your joints are constantly inflamed? :(

Hugs to you!! And congrats on making a good braid for yourself!

[Dreamernz]

Aww don't take it to heart, I'm sure they didn't mean to hurt you like that (I admit I would be VERY upset!), anyway hope you get better real soon! :D

[viking_quest]

That's horrible. I hope you get better soon.

[zen_oven]

Oh, that was just mean! I'm sure they probably meant well, but they shouldn't say things like that, especially if you are feeling bad.

I hope you feel better soon!:grouphug:

[DecafJane]

Wow, that sounds like something my family would do! I hope you feel better soon and are able to let it pass. It sounds like one of those mean things that people feel entitled to say to their immediate family. Take care!

[backtolonghair]

Sorry you are not feeling well.. Have you been tested for Lyme's ???

[lora410]

OMG how mean esp when you are so ill. I seriously wonder wtf is wrogn with people these days

[cuddledumplin]

Aw, that's horrible. I think it looks so pretty in that picture. My family has said some hurtful things about my appearance too. If you're happy, don't let anyone sway you.

I do hope you feel better.

http://i2.photobucket.com/albums/y2/cuddledumplin/GetWell_01.gif

[Fantak]

Hope you're feeling better soon! Family can be a pain sometimes but they really don't mean it :)

*hugs*

I have a friend who had the same symptoms and it was Vitamin D deficiency, it took forever to diagnose because I'm in the Emirates and we're at the beach in the sun all the time! Maybe you can ask them to check your Vitamin D levels, from what I know it's a special test and not done with routine blood work.

HTH!

[Kebbster]

It doesnt sound like they are being very understanding or supportive of what your going through. Thinking its rude to lye there when someones visiting is just proof that they have no real understanding. I think its admirable that you managed 12 braids when your sick, I have cfs and get terrible body aches, I can only manage 2 on a good day so im impressed.

You might want to be clear to your family about what your going through, I would tell them that what they did really hurt, I doubt they realise it was. Might also be worth explaining that being tired and sore all the time is making you feel really sensitive and vulnerable.

Good luck with getting a diagnosis, probably not encouraging but with problems like that it can be hard to ever get answers. Have they looked into reactive arthritis? My sister had it and couldnt even do up a button at its worst.

[longhairenvy]

WOW, can't believe someone who is suppose to care about you would say something like that. My philosophy about mean comments such as this is that whomever makes them; especially when it has to do with someone's looks, is just jealous. Your hair is very, very lovely.

Blessings for a speedy return to health.

[Fillette]

OMG!!! That was quite inconsiderate... Ignore those negative comments.
We love you and your hair here on TLHC. I hope you get better soon.

[Phalaenopsis]

Sorry you are not feeling well.. Have you been tested for Lyme's ???

I'm going to ask that. Although, he tested pretty vigorously.


Hope you're feeling better soon! Family can be a pain sometimes but they really don't mean it :)

*hugs*

I have a friend who had the same symptoms and it was Vitamin D deficiency, it took forever to diagnose because I'm in the Emirates and we're at the beach in the sun all the time! Maybe you can ask them to check your Vitamin D levels, from what I know it's a special test and not done with routine blood work.

HTH!
I think I should have some other symptoms too, if I have that. Rachitis and such?
But I'll ask. :)


Thanks again for all the support!
I said it to my mom that it hurt and she just waved away what I was saying. 'We were just laughing dear, can't we do that anymore?"
Still, I hated that *snip snip* gesture in my hair. :?

[Fantak]

I think I should have some other symptoms too, if I have that. Rachitis and such?
But I'll ask. :)

not necessarily, my friend just had medium-severe joint pain mostly in her fingers and lethargy :)

I'm sure it'll all work out okay in the end. My prayers and good thoughts (and I'm sure everyone on LHC!) are with you ^.^

[noelgirl]

I said it to my mom that it hurt and she just waved away what I was saying. 'We were just laughing dear, can't we do that anymore?"
Still, I hated that *snip snip* gesture in my hair. :?

Maybe she was laughing but you sure weren't, nor would I. I'm sorry she saw fit to do that at any time, let alone when you're feeling miserable.

[AutumnSky]

When people do that "I just want to...." snipping, cutting thing, it's a horrible passive agressive thing that I don't react well to either. Your mom obviously needs to understand that it is neither supportive, nor kind.

I'm sorry your're feeling poorly, and I hope they find the cause very soon!

[Gaelic Girl]

I'm so sorry. I totally understand how you feel. I've been very ill since last February and haven't been able to either finish my degree or work, so I'm exhausted, in pain, having major insomnia and strapped. Being able to do something pretty with my hair has literally been the only thing to give me a boost for a while now, so I can see how hurtful this must've been. It was mean thing to do, but no doubt they had no idea just how much effort it took for you to do it, nor what a sence of accomplishment is was, finally, for you. I'm sure they just didn't realize how this might affect you.

I hope you're feeling much, much better soon. :flowers:

[Phalaenopsis]

You are all so nice, I can't believe it :)

Doctor still found a lot of toxines in my body today and Friday he will hopefully get the results of my last bloodtest.

[boomygrrl]

I hope they find out what's wrong with you soon so you can get the help you need.

What your mother fails to see is that there is laughing and then there's laughing. The issue wasn't that she is laughing...it was the context. She truly didn't take your feelings into consideration. Since she has an issue with your hair anyways (as she wants you to cut it), she is probably rationalizing her reaction as nicer than what she could've said/did. I don't know why people feel the need to try to "control" people about what they should do with their hair.

And if it truly was funny looking (sorry, no disrespect)...but I'll assume that it was so funny, they couldn't help it. Still, after they laughed and noticed you were hurt by that, they should've apologized to you...at least after the fact.

[LutraLutra]

I'm sure your mum only want to look after you, but that wasn't the best thing for her to say. So like everyone else has said, you have pretty hair - don't cut it, and be proud of your braiding. :grouphug: Hope things get better for you soon.

[levelek]

I am sorry your family were not as sympathetic and considerate as they should have been. Has your mum actually talked to your doctor - does she understand the toll that your illness is taking on you?

Well done for the braids! I know my arms would ache of it for sure!

[Darkhorse1]

Being laughed at is not nice when you are the one being laughed at. Add to the fact you aren't feeling well--that's just unkind!

Have your doctors check you for systemic Lupus--this is an autoimmune disease and you can have this with fibromyalgia--fibro also causes severe lethargy, pain, tiredness etc (and thinning hair btw). My mom has Lupus (Systemic) and Fibro--her doctor prescribed her something for the Lupus and she's much better now---she just has to be careful not to over do it. And, you can get stuff for your hair if it thins. :)

[Phalaenopsis]

It could be fibro, but the doctor wants to check some other things out too before he sends me to a specialist.

[backtolonghair]

You are all so nice, I can't believe it :)

Doctor still found a lot of toxines in my body today and Friday he will hopefully get the results of my last bloodtest.


I wonder if you have also been checked for heavy metal toxicity, such as mercury, lead, etc?

[AprilElf]

Sorry that you are feeling so ill at the moment, Phalaenopsis. :( I hope you can get a diagnosis soon.
I can see how upsetting your mother's gesture would be. :grouphug:

[longhairedfairy]

That was really rude. What terrible manners.

ETA: Prayers/good thoughts for you. You're pretty young to be so sick:(

[venividibxtchy]

I know how you feel completely. My brother asked me if I was trying to be Crystal Gayle when my hair was around tailbone length, and I cut it to a few inches off my shoulder after that.

Ignore the harpies, and feel better.

[Aditi]

I found your braid hairstyle really nice, i don't know why they didn't. Anyways i don't have any reason why they behaved like so with you as i believe they shouldn't be. Hope you feel better soon.

[Phalaenopsis]

I wonder if you have also been checked for heavy metal toxicity, such as mercury, lead, etc?

He said that my body was full of heavy metals, so it could be that. I'm going tonight to hear what he can do, but he didn't sound very positive on the phone, 'cause the latest test results didn't really show something.

Everyone's comment has helped me so much. I really wanted to chop a bit of my hair, because I get so tired quickly, but thanks to coming here, my hair is still safe :) I've just bought some jojoba-oil to give myself a little treat.

@Venividibxtchy: I'm sorry that you cut off your hair because of someone's stupid comment. You're right: just ignore it. I'm going to do that :)

@longhairedfairy: Thank you. And yes, I also think I'm too young to be so ill. But I'm keeping hopes up, I'm young, so there's still a change I'll be better again :)

[Alaskanheart]

Im so sorry, thats terrible.Why would anyone want to snip your beautiful hair:confused:?I just looked at your braid album, and I cant imagine you doing a bad braid job.Looks like you are very good at it.I cant braid for the life of me.

My husbands family is like that...I dont like them much.

I hope they soon find out whats wrong, so you can get treatment and start feeling better.

[AutumnSky]

I hope they can get you set to rights soon....chronic fatigue is no fun, especially for one so young!

[Akiko]

I am sorry to hear that you are sick and your family are not being supportive. Your mom sounds like verbally abusive.

It is terrible your body is full of heavy metal. It is not an emergency case? Well, your doctor should know. You should not cut your hair not only because it's beautiful, but for medical tests if needed. Doctors might want to test your hair to determine when you got exposed to heavy metals.

[Xandergrammy]

Oh sweetie, I'm so sorry they were mean to you. I'm sending you a big hug. Some people just don't understand our preference for long hair. I think it sounds beautiful.

[psvzum]

That's just awful and cruel. I'm so sorry you are going through such physical pain and hope you are diagnosed and treated soon.
Hugs-

[UncommonTart]

Oh dear. That does sound rather mean to me, too. And when you're already feeling badly it's that much harder to brush it off, isn't it? I don't know you, but I'm sorry you're not feeling well, and I hope that it gets sorted out quickly for you. Try to ignore them where you hair is concerned. It's yours, and as long as it works for you it's not worth worrying what anyone else thinks. Hugs.

[Tressie]

I pray that you will get a better report soon! I join the other long-hairs in extending my sympathy for your illness and also for your insensitive family! My family isn't crazy about my hair, or my updos, but they don't make very many pointed comments.

Isn't it great to have found the LHC and so many wonderful like-minded people? I say, "pooh" to the "snippers"!! Double pooh!! (o: Keep smiling! The Bible says a merry heart does good, like a medicine!

[Phalaenopsis]

Isn't it great to have found the LHC and so many wonderful like-minded people? I say, "pooh" to the "snippers"!! Double pooh!! (o: Keep smiling! The Bible says a merry heart does good, like a medicine!

That made me laugh :D

I'm getting medicine now to get all those metals out of my body. Also have to do an anti-candidadiet. I'll just have to take it easy and try to study so I can still pass some exams.
And I'm hoping this all will work, because otherwise I might have fibro :?

Thank you all for the kind comments :flower:

And I've put my hair away in a bun (yay for 60th Street forks :D), they can't say a thing about that :)