Keep Your Fingers Out of My Hair

[Speckla]

Anyone else have people who seem to think it's ok to run their fingers all through your hair even when you've told them not to.

I think "must boing curls" or "must see if it's soft" is running through the back of their heads and cutting off blood flow to their common sense nerve.
________
Mira Gino (http://www.toyota-wiki.com/wiki/Daihatsu_Mira_Gino)

[MandaMom2Three]

If someone did that AFTER I told them not to, they'd be pulling back stumps :D

[rapunzhell13]

Do you usually wear your hair up or down? I know we shouldn't have to wear our hair up just to protect it from other people's lack of self control, but it might be an idea if it bothers you too much. I don't know why people can't understand that touching someone's hair is as much an invasion of their personal space as touching any other part of their bodies. :rolleyes:

[joyfulmom4]

Never had them persist *after* being asked to stop, but the ones who touch w/o asking are really annoying. Well, to be honest, asking in general strikes me as rather intrusive unless you're a close friend. But touching someone's hair when they expressly tell you not to? That's totally unacceptable.

[HairColoredHair]

I boing my friends curls, but I know I'm allowed to do that.

I hate anyone touching my hair without permission, I figured everyone else would too, so I leave them alone.

[NebraskaChick84]

oh my goodness...I could never dream of touching someone's hair! I enjoy having my hair played with (it *does* things to me) so to me hair is very sexual. I don't even touch my sister's hair (and her hair is very touchable) even when she asks me to. it just feels so weird. (except DH's hair..I'm always playing with his hair (he reacts the same way I do) ;)

I'd tell them I'll break their fingers the next time.

[Angelina15]

O.o I think its so wierd that people would do that! I think I would be really freaked out and uncomfortable if someone just decided to touch my hair!

[zen_oven]

Ugh. That's just as bad as people who pat pregnant women's bellies without asking. ACK.

[Copasetic]

that has totally happened to me before. i had a friend who used to look at my hair and exclaim "its so curly!" and grab handfuls of my hair. it drove me insane, and no matter how many times i told her i hated it, she would keep doing it.

[Juneii]

ahaha I hate it too although only one friend of mine does it. I think she passed me her cold that way *shudder*

honestly, I'm too scared to tell her to stop. it makes me uncomfortable but there really isn't any harm to it, I feel that I would be too selfish if I told her to stop touching my hair.

[Arctic_Mama]

I don't mind having even strangers touch my hair provided they're clean-looking, but if I told them not to I'd expect them to stop!

Then again I never minded people patting my pregnant belly either, which is funny because I am generally a shy, private person but it doesn't invade my bubble to have people do either thing. Huh.

[Lindsay]

As long as it isn't a hobo, it doesn't bother me too much. :p
I do agree, however, that they need to stop when asked to stop -- that's seriously creepy not to!

[Shannon4J]

Besides family, it has only happened to me once. I was painting kids faces at an event and a little girl reached out and touched it and said "it's so pretty". It was really sweet and she was extremely gentle. How could I get upset at that? ... But now I pull my hair back out of sight for face painting. (especially since I got the paint in my hair more than once when I wore it down! LOL)

[K_Angel]

I've never had to tell someone no more than once. But one time I went to the store with my hair down and someone behind me in line started touching my hair like it was a little pet dog/cat. Really freaked me out! When I turned around, the woman looked really startled and stammered something like, "from the window I never knew your hair was so long!" Thank goodness at this point I at least recognized her as a drive-up bank teller. Ok, is it just me, or is it so waaaaaaaaaay not enough acquaintance to "play" with my hair or what??? Of course, I was glad I recognized her, otherwise, I would have been really creeped out thinking who in the world was watching me out a window without me know it??????

[Robbi Dehlinger]

It is a body part, you do NOT touch a body part w/o persmission??

Yeeeesh!

[allege]

I have actually got to the point where I will smack their hand and tell them no. Or look at them and say "WOW what a way to invade my personal space". I just don't like people touching my hair.

[Siava]

Who the heck keeps doing that to you? The freak. Deck that person next time, unless it's your mother. Don't deck your mother.

[Nes]

I don't usually have a problem with people touching my hair, but if you ask someone not to and they do it anyway that's bang out of order!

If you like wearing your hair down, you shouldn't have to wear it up just because of other people. I would just come up with a strategy for handling the situation

Usually embarassment works well - something along the lines of grabbing their wrist and asking very loudly why they are touching you should work. There's no reason to be aggresive, just make them see how shameful it is to act that way.

Nes x

[Calanthe]

Yes, do keep your fingers out of my hair! I really can't stand this - probably because back in school some guy was forever touching and pulling and tearing my hair. That's why I never ever wear my hair down in public.

Besides, I don't touch other people's body parts, children, dogs...whatever, so I'd never touch another person's hair without their permission.

[Phalaenopsis]

It would creep me out too, luckily, this hasn't occurred to me yet. Hair is like another body part, so you just don't touch even if you want to.

[Laila23]

This is my very silly advice. The next time someone bounces your hair, get all dramatic on them and lean over, half way to the ground violently and say OUCH THAT HURT STOP IT OUCH OUCH OUCH

[morguebabe]

I've had strangers smooth it in publics. Its freaking weird.
I would never paw a strangers body.

[Spike]

Ewwww . . . no. No one should touch you AFTER you tell them to quit. Especially not a stranger.

I like Laila23's suggestion more than I should. Talk about pulling a scene designed to embarrass the other person. Could you work in a faint with that? Swoon around like a dying melodrama queen?

[AutumnSky]

As long as it's not done in a lecherous kind of way (which I got a lot when I was younger..and hotter), it doesn't bother me. Especially kids....kids have carte blanche until they start to tug.

There's something a little flattering about the thought that one's hair is SO unbelievably breathtaking that a stranger is compelled to touch it, despite prevailing social norms.....

Come to think of it....I am a *little* bothered that I don't get the lecherous kind of hair grabbers anymore....

[Katze]

people don't touch me without my express permission, unless they are close friends or family. Ever.

I can just imagine what I would say to the stranger who touches me without permission, and I think they can too, which is why no one dares.

If anyone were to get out of line, raised eyebrow or my lower jaw just a little bit forward does the trick. But then again I am a martial artist and a teacher...

[butterflykisses]

Not gonna lie... I boing my sisters curls all the time. She has the best princess curls. But then, shes my sister, and we annoy each other to no end for fun all the time...

I would never just 'boing' or touch someone elses hair though. Just wierd. invasion of personal space.

[glennagiraffe]

i always have people boing my spiral curls. i hate them. the people not my curls.
i'm not sure why people think it's ok...i am a wee bit of a germaphobe anyways. working in healthcare can do that to you. i don't like people touching near my face in any capacity unless i ask you too. or we sleep together.
those are my rules.

[spidermom]

This has never happened to me. Not once. However, my hair is only recently getting to that "wow" length, so maybe it will. I don't think I'd care, but that remains to be seen. I can't imagine why somebody would keep doing something that you've told them to stop. Perhaps it's time to cross those people off your list.

[wonhwa]

This has happened to me, and it is definitely rude, an invasion of privacy, and how would they like it if you were to turn around and pet them on the head as if they were a cat? Then ask, "So how do you like a complete stranger touching your hair?"

You are not being selfish to keep your hair to yourself and those of whom you approve. I assume your other body parts are also kept to yourself? Why is hair different? Just because it is on the outside? Or because it is on top? Other parts of you are on the outside, and no stranger had better start running their fingers around those parts. And on top; what if they honked your nose? Wouldn't you smack 'em? ;)

Wonhwa

[rosieposie]

Wow, I can hardly believe this has happened to you! No one has ever dared to touch my hair, not even when it was much longer (I stupidly cut back from hip length last christmas....growing back now). I suppose I come form a more reserved neck of the woods.
I can understand why you would find it creepy.

[glennagiraffe]

I don't mind having even strangers touch my hair provided they're clean-looking, but if I told them not to I'd expect them to stop!

Then again I never minded people patting my pregnant belly either, which is funny because I am generally a shy, private person but it doesn't invade my bubble to have people do either thing. Huh.

because i can't figure out any other way to send you a message but Artic_Mama i adore your avatar picture!! It is exactly my dream hair.

[Sissy]

This has very rarely occurred in my adult life... thankfully! When I was a girl in school girlfriends would start playing with it and wanting to put it up and such. However, I do like it when my husband touches my hair and compliments me on it :o However, since joining this forum I've been pulling away if I think he's going to pull down on it/brush it too hard... I'm super paranoid of breakage and damage now :D

[Speckla]

Thank you all for the support! I am going to be more firm the next time this person tries to touch my hair. My hair is longer and healthier looking than it's been in years and I know that gathers unwanted attention.

Let me add that this person is in her 50's and I feel it would be disrespectful for me to reprove her. But I guess it's more disrespectful for her to disregard my request.
________
Montana Dispensaries (http://montana.dispensaries.org/)

[Robbi Dehlinger]

Wrong is wrong, does not matter what age you are!

[BunnyBee]

Hmm I've never had anyone really grab my hair.. only pull it when it's a braid or something (apparently a strange way of greeting me)... and now come to think of it, when I first started wearing hairsticks they were pulled out every five minutes.

Oh my dad has a habit of ruffling my hair up when he says goodbye <_<

[blondecat]

Yeh, I've been 'petted' several times, once was an Autistic little girl, the rest were very old men.
3 0r 4 were dreamy looking like they were remembering a loved one the rest were icky & leary, blahh.

[florenonite]

I've never had anyone I don't know touch my hair, fortunately. I have got friends who like removing my hairsticks, and one of my friends likes to stroke my hair when it needs washed because it's softest then. In turn, I tend to stroke my sisters' and friends' hair, and boing curls of those with curly hair, because for the most part they don't mind. I do have one friend who doesn't like me touching his hair, especially because I tend to try and plait it, which he thinks is "unmanly", but he's a special case because we generally do wind each other up as much as possible and it's really a sign of affection. He once repeatedly phoned me at midnight when he was drunk, even after I told him I was in bed trying to sleep, so I feel well within my rights to pet his hair, especially seeing as just about every time I watch a film with him he decides that I am a cushion and ends up half on top of me.

[Celticfreefall]

I've had numerous elderly women touch my hair and tell me it's pretty, or similar. I'm not usually angered as much as startled and somewhat amused. The last time I had had (http://i264.photobucket.com/albums/ii175/cabbitt711/Lolita/Renaissance%20Lolita/Picture003.jpg) it done (http://i264.photobucket.com/albums/ii175/cabbitt711/Lolita/Renaissance%20Lolita/n21700979_37751769_3862.jpg) at a Renaissance Festival (http://i264.photobucket.com/albums/ii175/cabbitt711/Lolita/Renaissance%20Lolita/n21700979_37751770_4223.jpg) by a braider (http://i264.photobucket.com/albums/ii175/cabbitt711/Lolita/Renaissance%20Lolita/n21700979_37751780_8004.jpg), and I had an elderly woman pat it and tell me it looked "Lovely!" while sitting eating ice cream outside an ice cream parlor (I'd put the ends in buns by then, since it was a day or two after the Festival). I've never had someone touch my hair and then continue to after I've told them to stop, fortunately.