Is there an age at which long hair becomes "acceptable" again for older women?

[joyfulmom4]

I know, I know, long hair is acceptable at any age. :) Of course I and my 40 yr old classic locks believe that.

But what I am getting at is this. It seems like maybe there might be some age at which society finds long hair "OK" again, if you're *old enough*. Ykwim? Or am I just imagining that?

Most of us have heard the messages about how women "of a certain age" should not wear long hair. Whether it's after 30 or 40 (or even 50?). But then I don't hear much about older women and long hair.

Until it's about much older women. People still seem to express positive regard for grandmothers and great-grandmothers with long silver hair, usually worn in a bun or braid. Ykwim?

Maybe it's just that there are so few women past 40 who have long hair and so the occasional person who makes it past 60 with long hair intact is suddenly admirable?

Does anyone else notice anything like this?

[lapushka]

I don't know, really.

My mom's about to become sixty-three this Saturday, and she has can-I-call-this-BSL length hair, a blunt cut, and bangs. She always wears her hair up. My aunt, her sister, is fifty-one and has past BSL hair. She also has a blunt cut and bangs. You can hardly call them outdated, though from the description so far, some people (out there) might mistake them for old bitties. However, they could pass for Trinny & Susannah when you see them. Is it acceptable? They make it acceptable!

[Speckla]

I think if you're able to grow hair, then it's totally acceptable to keep it long.
________
Honda Super Cub (http://www.honda-wiki.org/wiki/Honda_Super_Cub)

[Beloved]

It's like with fat. Society judges female fat and fat women aren't supposed to feel beautiful. On TV, I see mostly slim actresses. But they will have the occasional morbidly obese actress. Why not a "normal" woman with an extra ten to 30 lbs? Because that might challenge the beauty myth that a woman has to be thin to be beautiful. If she is obese, it doesn't challenge anything because most people agree that's unhealthy and unattractive. But if you have a normal weight woman on, people see the beauty and sensuality of average and "curvy" women. That's a threat to the status quo.

So with hair, a 40 year old woman with beautiful long hair challenges the idea that you have to be teens, early 20s to be beautiful. A woman with beautiful long hair is embracing her sensuality and beauty. To see a woman past the acceptable age with long hair who looks and clearly feels sexual and beautiful is a threat. Women aren't supposed to feel beautiful unless society says they are beautiful. This woman isn't falling in line, she's not looking for approval, so the hair style that communicates that is not socially acceptable. If the woman is old enough not to have much of a sexual presence, she can have long hair and not threaten the status quo.

JMO.

[Tangles]

Beloved pretty much explained it.

The 40-60 age range is really hard for women for just this reason. Past that, it's much more of a "I can do whatever I want" mentality.

My mom is becoming much less inhibited than she was at 40-50. Part of it is that she doesn't have young kids around, the other part is she just feels she's too old to let anyone tell her what to do. And the funny thing is, she looks better than ever.

[spidermom]

All I can tell you is that I'm far too old to allow anybody to tell me what I ought to do with my hair.

[DragonLady]

It's like with fat. Society judges female fat and fat women aren't supposed to feel beautiful. On TV, I see mostly slim actresses. But they will have the occasional morbidly obese actress. Why not a "normal" woman with an extra ten to 30 lbs? Because that might challenge the beauty myth that a woman has to be thin to be beautiful. If she is obese, it doesn't challenge anything because most people agree that's unhealthy and unattractive. But if you have a normal weight woman on, people see the beauty and sensuality of average and "curvy" women. That's a threat to the status quo.

So with hair, a 40 year old woman with beautiful long hair challenges the idea that you have to be teens, early 20s to be beautiful. A woman with beautiful long hair is embracing her sensuality and beauty. To see a woman past the acceptable age with long hair who looks and clearly feels sexual and beautiful is a threat. Women aren't supposed to feel beautiful unless society says they are beautiful. This woman isn't falling in line, she's not looking for approval, so the hair style that communicates that is not socially acceptable. If the woman is old enough not to have much of a sexual presence, she can have long hair and not threaten the status quo.

JMO.


I think you've nailed it! Great post. :)

[Carolyn]

I think more women are growing a backbone and not caring what others think, whether it be long hair or weight or whatever. Just do it and be happy and if others don't like it, well um...screw 'em :gabigrin:

[frizzinator]

Some folks don't like to see long hair hanging down on older women because when hair is down it often doesn't look neat. Combine that with age related issues such as thinning, frizzy and greying hair, and you begin to see why some folks are bold enough to say they don't like long hair on older women.


I think most folks prefer to see older women looking elegant. If these older long haired women wore their hair up, then there would be no complaints. Long hair worn up looks neat. I think looking neat is the real issue when folks complain about how long hair looks.


I have worn my hair up everyday for over a year, and I have very few tangles and break a lot less hair. I have no desire to wear it down again. As little as 2 years ago, I never would have believed that I would wear my hair up everyday. It's addictive, and so are the compliments.

[DecafJane]

I have heard a lot of positive comments about older (70s and up) women who have longer hair, as they are just so unusual and look elegant. The ultra-short granny perm is the norm here, and I can understand why you would get it if you had incredibly thin hair, but even women with normal to thick hair seem to get it, too. It takes so much more work than long hair - they re-set it with rollers and everything.

[jojo]

I have 4 words Demi Moore (ok a few nips and tucks but were talking hair!) and Jane Semour! As a nearly 40 year old, I have earned the right to wear my hair as I chose, for as many years as I please and to be very blunt those who don't like it can go forth and multiply!!!!! that was a few more than 4 words but heck its nearly Friday!!!

[Euphony]

As with many things I think much of it is in the attitude. Also however, much of it is in the quality of said 'feature'. When it comes to weight, I've seen some beautiful morbidly obese women - they dress well, not sloppy, head held high etc. With long hair in age being beautiful, yeah any age long hair is beautiful, if it's well kept and the owner wears it well.

I saw this woman at the store the other night with a few hairs as long as mine, the bulk of her hair ended about bsl. Her hair was very dry, split and frizzy on the bottom. She wasn't much older than me but her hair made her look very aged.

At the craft fair I attended last weekend I saw this woman with hair about mid-back about 50% silver and 50% black, beautiful, gorgeous, thick hair. Looking in her eyes and talking with her she was probably around 50. She was remarkable, she certainly stood out in a crowd, she was breathtaking. I complimented her on her hair as she was walking to my booth, she explained to me she was walking to my booth to compliment me on my hair :D

She made mention that attractive long hair is hard to come by, she also mentioned 'men love it'. I grinned at her and said I knew, but most women also hate it on other women, she laughed and agreed.

[joyfulmom4]

All I can tell you is that I'm far too old to allow anybody to tell me what I ought to do with my hair.

:) Yes, I absolutely agree with that.

But what I was trying to get at wasn't so much what *we* feel about our hair length though.

I was trying to probe whether others had noticed that the social pressure to have short hair seems to lessen after a certain age.

I've seen a lot of discussion here about the message that women shouldn't wear long hair after age 30 or 40 or so.

But I hadn't seen anything much said about women who are older than that, say 60 or 70 or more.

Now I doubt we have too many of them here, but that probably has more to do with other reasons (then not being in the computer user demographic as much).

I don't think I've ever heard criticism of a woman over 60 who wore her hair long though. You hear the negatives about the middle aged women. But after a certain age, the woman with long silver or white hair is elegant and dignified. At least that's the impression I get.

That's where I was trying to go with this. Not seeking society's approval personally. Just curious if other people had detected that as well or maybe I'm just imagining it?

[joyfulmom4]

It's like with fat. Society judges female fat and fat women aren't supposed to feel beautiful. On TV, I see mostly slim actresses. But they will have the occasional morbidly obese actress. Why not a "normal" woman with an extra ten to 30 lbs? Because that might challenge the beauty myth that a woman has to be thin to be beautiful. If she is obese, it doesn't challenge anything because most people agree that's unhealthy and unattractive. But if you have a normal weight woman on, people see the beauty and sensuality of average and "curvy" women. That's a threat to the status quo.

So with hair, a 40 year old woman with beautiful long hair challenges the idea that you have to be teens, early 20s to be beautiful. A woman with beautiful long hair is embracing her sensuality and beauty. To see a woman past the acceptable age with long hair who looks and clearly feels sexual and beautiful is a threat. Women aren't supposed to feel beautiful unless society says they are beautiful. This woman isn't falling in line, she's not looking for approval, so the hair style that communicates that is not socially acceptable. If the woman is old enough not to have much of a sexual presence, she can have long hair and not threaten the status quo.

JMO.

Very insightful. Wow. I guess I hadn't even thought about it that way. I was thinking maybe that the expection of being "stylish" was different, as though society "let you off the hook" after a certain age. But even those ideas could be easily tied back to this concept.

Thanks for sharing these ideas. I was curious what sort of thoughts people might express about this subject.

[DragonLady]

Just curious if other people had detected that as well or maybe I'm just imagining it?

I had never really considered it in those terms, but yes. An 80-year-old granny with long flowy locks is admired and emulated. A 40 year old with a braid to her hips gets an eyeroll and comments about 'hanging on to her youth'. As if being youthful is a crime for her.

Mind you...I know an older woman ~70-ish who wears hot pants and red lipstick and high heels. She looks rediculous. But, I have no idea how long or short her hair is, because I've never noticed anything beyond the varicose veins and bunions. I don't think it's a "crime" for her to dress youthfully, but her choices are tacky and unflattering. I think that's two different things.

I've always kinda thought people thought long hair on older women was tacky the same way, be Beloved's post makes me think it's a different idea all together. Surely a 45 year old woman with her kids grown, her own home, a steady job that pays a real living, a body that's still hot and sexy appearance may scream "unfair competition" to the 20-something set who are still just trying to find themselves a niche in the wider world.

[spidermom]

I can honestly tell you that I have NEVER experienced pressure to cut my hair, even though I have let it grow for the past 8 years. There is one exception. When I visited my father who was 80 he said that he didn't like it, it looked like a big mess, and that I should cut it because it could look so pretty. Since he deserted my family when I was a teen, I don't much value his opinion so I don't count it.

I'm insulated from media's bias against long hair. We don't watch television, and I don't read women's magazines except in waiting rooms. I think that some women who would personally prefer long hair are turned away from it by media.

The point of ramble is this: I think that long hair is socially acceptable to a woman of any age depending on whose opinion she values.

[jojo]

:) Yes, I absolutely agree with that.

But what I was trying to get at wasn't so much what *we* feel about our hair length though.

I was trying to probe whether others had noticed that the social pressure to have short hair seems to lessen after a certain age.

I've seen a lot of discussion here about the message that women shouldn't wear long hair after age 30 or 40 or so.

But I hadn't seen anything much said about women who are older than that, say 60 or 70 or more.

Now I doubt we have too many of them here, but that probably has more to do with other reasons (then not being in the computer user demographic as much).

I don't think I've ever heard criticism of a woman over 60 who wore her hair long though. You hear the negatives about the middle aged women. But after a certain age, the woman with long silver or white hair is elegant and dignified. At least that's the impression I get.

That's where I was trying to go with this. Not seeking society's approval personally. Just curious if other people had detected that as well or maybe I'm just imagining it?

this is very true, i think its probably because 40 is seen as an age or was when a women reaches middle age but in the aging population we now live in this is no longer the case. women are having children much later due to having a career and being more independant in general.

Although long gone are the days when women where dictated to by some unwritten rule that hair must be short and poodle like and wear only twin sets and pearls must be worn, some people still live in the dark ages and think anybody who doesn't conform to what is 'expected' is either strange or trying to hard to re-live their youth. Which overal boils down to the fact when reading between the lines that society expects a woman over 40, who traditionally has compleated her family to not feel sexual or express her own idea of femininity, after a certain age for e.g. 60 years long hair is more linked to identitiy maybe?

This is not to say short hair can not express femininity or identity but these are my feelings. In my opinion long hair is timeless and yes it does make me feel more feminine. Hope I am making sense here!

[rockkcor]

I don’t know – because it may have had been normal in certain generations and in other generations it was outdated…
I guess that it all as just about the fashion that you are living in…
Besides – have you ever thought about ‘where it is accepted’? There are many cultures so different – why don’t you just invent one of your own?

[Kirin]

I have my thoughts on this one, try to follow me here haha!

You are correct, you always hear women over 35-40 should not have long hair...... but then, it tapers off and somewhere around 65-70, women with long bunned glorious manes of white hair are appreciated......... why is this?

We are being targeted to be knocked out of "competition". Thats why. If you notice, all the super sexy beautiful slick ads, movies, music videos, and targeted advertising to men show YOUNG (we're talking 19-24) long haired women. Just take a look around. Its pretty well known men generally like long hair on women.

Go ahead, ask a man! Almost all the guys I've ever met find long hair sexy and beautiful. If you ask them at what age to cut it? Generally the answer is, NEVER.

I think, we're told to cut off our hair, and stop wearing certain clothing to not be in competition with young sexy girls. Heaven forbid we should compete with them! Did you ever notice the woman telling the long hair to cut as it ages her......... has LONG HAIR?

I'm 100 percent sure I am correct on this one, its always been really obvious to me.

At a certain age you don't hear about it much...... because they aren't in competition with young women.

[Tangles]

Some folks don't like to see long hair hanging down on older women because when hair is down it often doesn't look neat. Combine that with age related issues such as thinning, frizzy and greying hair, and you begin to see why some folks are bold enough to say they don't like long hair on older women.


This is true also--ageing does change hair, but if you follow LHC, it's definitely much easier to keep looking smooth either by putting up in protective styles, oiling and trimming regularly, or a combination thereof.

My hair texture has changed so much from 2006--gone from highlighted, brushed and sometimes heat styled, to smooth, glossy and much much more manageable. No wonder people didn't compliment my hair much back then... (they still don't now, but that's because it's not unusually long yet :D

[jojo]

I have my thoughts on this one, try to follow me here haha!

You are correct, you always hear women over 35-40 should not have long hair...... but then, it tapers off and somewhere around 65-70, women with long bunned glorious manes of white hair are appreciated......... why is this?

We are being targeted to be knocked out of "competition". Thats why. If you notice, all the super sexy beautiful slick ads, movies, music videos, and targeted advertising to men show YOUNG (we're talking 19-24) long haired women. Just take a look around. Its pretty well known men generally like long hair on women.

Go ahead, ask a man! Almost all the guys I've ever met find long hair sexy and beautiful. If you ask them at what age to cut it? Generally the answer is, NEVER.

I think, we're told to cut off our hair, and stop wearing certain clothing to not be in competition with young sexy girls. Heaven forbid we should compete with them! Did you ever notice the woman telling the long hair to cut as it ages her......... has LONG HAIR?

I'm 100 percent sure I am correct on this one, its always been really obvious to me.

At a certain age you don't hear about it much...... because they aren't in competition with young women.
this is as near to what i was trying to say, we are singing from the same hymn book, you made perfect sense to me:)

[rockkcor]

I have my thoughts on this one, try to follow me here haha!

You are correct, you always hear women over 35-40 should not have long hair...... but then, it tapers off and somewhere around 65-70, women with long bunned glorious manes of white hair are appreciated......... why is this?

We are being targeted to be knocked out of "competition". Thats why. If you notice, all the super sexy beautiful slick ads, movies, music videos, and targeted advertising to men show YOUNG (we're talking 19-24) long haired women. Just take a look around. Its pretty well known men generally like long hair on women.

Go ahead, ask a man! Almost all the guys I've ever met find long hair sexy and beautiful. If you ask them at what age to cut it? Generally the answer is, NEVER.

I think, we're told to cut off our hair, and stop wearing certain clothing to not be in competition with young sexy girls. Heaven forbid we should compete with them! Did you ever notice the woman telling the long hair to cut as it ages her......... has LONG HAIR?

I'm 100 percent sure I am correct on this one, its always been really obvious to me.

At a certain age you don't hear about it much...... because they aren't in competition with young women.

I think that it has to do something with the crisis of identity and media…
First of all when you get into certain age you start to think ‘oh, yes – my age shoes and I have to do something about it’ – then you turn to media and promoters that sell you stupid things like ‘new haircut that would make you blah blah blah’
Remember that the age you are talking about is when you have the most of cash – so you might be targeted to spend it on some stupid fashion experiment that would make you ugly! Uglier you get - more money you are going to spend!
You get into age that you don’t care – all the money is gone, you are retired you are back to what you are or should be…

[MsBubbles]

I don’t know – because it may have had been normal in certain generations and in other generations it was outdated…
I guess that it all as just about the fashion that you are living in…
Besides – have you ever thought about ‘where it is accepted’? There are many cultures so different – why don’t you just invent one of your own?

I agree with this, and even though it's a branch off the original point of the post, I have been thinking about this whilst watching Fuego en la Sangre (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fuego_en_la_sangre) on the Spanish broadcast channel in the south east USA (I can't afford cable TV, ok!?). It's a telenovela (cheesiest soap you ever did see!), but the women have such long, gorgeous hair - which is why I watch it! I don't have a clue what they're saying, which is probably how I can stand to even watch it, but some of the women are way over 40, probably somewhere between 40 and 60, and they have, be it real or fake, long flowing locks. The younger actress, Adela Noriega (http://www.mienlace.com/media/imgs/adela20080422110443.jpg), has waist length red hair that totally dazzles me.

Yeah, it sit there watching this junk with a smile on my face that somewhere in the world there are societies where women my age and up (40s) are expected to have waist length hair!

[KiwiLiz]

I guess once you pass 60 you start to enter "eccentric old lady" territory :P and long hair is a little bit eccentric for older women (and even for young women some times if it's very long).

I have every intention of becoming an eccentric old lady as soon as possible (probably when I have kids and they think I'm 'old'), I definitely want to be an eccentric, long haired, old lady.

[Elphie]

I think the reason is two-fold: A woman in her 70's generally cannot be mistaken for being youthful and it's less socially acceptable to be agist. The media doesn't see that age as a threat to the youth culture, therefore they don't target it in a negative fashion. I certainly believe in growing to a length that is pleasing to yourself no matter what your age.

[joyfulmom4]

I have my thoughts on this one, try to follow me here haha!

You are correct, you always hear women over 35-40 should not have long hair...... but then, it tapers off and somewhere around 65-70, women with long bunned glorious manes of white hair are appreciated......... why is this?

We are being targeted to be knocked out of "competition". Thats why. If you notice, all the super sexy beautiful slick ads, movies, music videos, and targeted advertising to men show YOUNG (we're talking 19-24) long haired women. Just take a look around. Its pretty well known men generally like long hair on women.

Go ahead, ask a man! Almost all the guys I've ever met find long hair sexy and beautiful. If you ask them at what age to cut it? Generally the answer is, NEVER.

I think, we're told to cut off our hair, and stop wearing certain clothing to not be in competition with young sexy girls. Heaven forbid we should compete with them! Did you ever notice the woman telling the long hair to cut as it ages her......... has LONG HAIR?

I'm 100 percent sure I am correct on this one, its always been really obvious to me.

At a certain age you don't hear about it much...... because they aren't in competition with young women.

That is so very true about the long-haired fashion show host thing. Like Stacy on "What Not to Wear". She has hair that is quite long. But every woman I see leaving that show ends up with approximately the same haircut. Sleek, straightened, chin-length (shoulder at most), side-parted, side-swept with a few layers. Usually they get high-lights. A coloring if they're going grey.

I think you're right that once a woman reaches senior citizen status, she's "out of the running". Besides, the statement "long hair ages you" is ludicrous when you're 70.

You're absolutely right about men preferring long hair. Someone posted a link today on LHC to a poll that showed this. I think it was more than 3/4 of the men surveyed who preferred long hair.

It's interesting that others have also observed that the "you're too old for long hair" attitude ends with the senior years. Unfortunately, most women have cut theirs short by then so you see endless short, permed heads among seniors.

[joyfulmom4]

I guess once you pass 60 you start to enter "eccentric old lady" territory :P and long hair is a little bit eccentric for older women (and even for young women some times if it's very long).

I have every intention of becoming an eccentric old lady as soon as possible (probably when I have kids and they think I'm 'old'), I definitely want to be an eccentric, long haired, old lady.


LOL! I always threaten my kids that once they grow up and move out of the house I'm going to have to turn into one of those "crazy cat ladies" b/c I will not be able to stand having an "empty nest". I tell them when they move out, they'll have to visit often or I'll fill the place with animals and begin to dress in wild clothing and wear outrageous jewelry.

If I do, noone will question the hair. By then, I'd like to have it knee length and snowy white. :D

[Anje]

I suspect that the answer is fairly simple -- it's OK for it to be long and flowy when it's turned gray or white.

Of course, society doesn't realize that the woman with long white hair probably had long salt-and-pepper hair first.

[Amara]

I suspect that the answer is fairly simple -- it's OK for it to be long and flowy when it's turned gray or white.

Of course, society doesn't realize that the woman with long white hair probably had long salt-and-pepper hair first.

That's true - I think society in general doesn't have a concept of how long hair takes to grow.

[jstar]

My first thought was that women over seventy simply lived in an age where long hair was the style. It naturally follows that people are accustomed to women from that generation having long hair.

Think about it; when women with poodle cuts were young, what was the fashion in hair then? Now go ten years back. At the beginning of the twentieth century, wasn't long hair the norm?
(I'm just assuming, I could be wrong.:P )

[Akiko]

I think most folks prefer to see older women looking elegant. If these older long haired women wore their hair up, then there would be no complaints. Long hair worn up looks neat. I think looking neat is the real issue when folks complain about how long hair looks..

I agree with frizzinator. Sometimes I see older lady wearing long hair down. If her hair is not cared for, it does not look attractive to me. I actually wish she would wear it up or cut it shorter.... Oh, I should not say to cut.:lipssealed: I think many feel the same way.

Well cared long hair is beautiful for women of all ages.

[Kebbster]

I think it could be as simple as long hair is just very uncommon in that age group, so we presume anyone who chooses to wear long hair at that age isnt doing things right.

Personally it drives me up the wall that so many women get such short cuts at that age, while some look great i feel others just look old. I tend to associate short hair with looking old, i find at any age a woman with a gorgeous updo looks amazing and glamourous. I guess im not the norm but.

I know im still in my 20s so not a great judge, but in my late 20s and never felt any pressure to cut my hair short from anyone but a hairdresser. Most people compliment my hair, i dont imagine at any age anyone would suggest to me to cut it, and if they did id be like well its lucky its my choice and not yours isnt it.

Ive come across one friend ever who thought i look better with short hair, and when i quizzed him why he thought that i worked out it was more that he didnt like my hair down. I mostly wear my hair up now, and it makes me look my age, im at no risk of trying to recapture my teenage years with my hair (cept when i wear heidi braids, but hey they are comfy).

[Arctic_Mama]

I think whatever age someone seems completely comfortable, confident, and secure in their identity is when long hair becomes admired again. The bold longhairs I know don't get as much flack.. the shy ones, or the ones who seem amenable to ANYONE'S opinion on their looks... they tend to do the chop and not keep it long from what I have seen. When you wear your hair proudly people just tend to say less because it is an extension of you. It's a part of your personality, and who would have the balls to suggest you change your personality for their tastes? Very few.

I think when women hit that "it's my body and my life, screw you" stage after the kids leave the house is about when the perception changes. But I firmly believe it is more an attitude change within the wearer more than society changing THEIR opinion.

[Elenna]

As Frizzinator says, there seem to be two sides to gray hair. Hair on older women can be thinning, frizzy with uneven hemlines. IMHO, this does not look good. But if gray hair is taken care of with conditioning, oiling, and easy-on-the-hair handling then it can be really beautiful (dare I say) and even elegant when worn up.

Growing out colored, short, styled hair to gray and long hair is quite a challenge because it never looks good at first but after growing out it gets much prettier.

BTW, I'm probably about 60% gray.

Long hair needs to be cared for. It is like any other skill. The more you learn about it and practice, the better you get at it. Taking care of long hair is a skill.

[Demetrue]

It's because many women in their 70's, 80's and 90's start to get very thin hair, with the scalp very visible, that they tend to cut it short and then perm - it's to hide the scalp somewhat with volume. I think that long thinning gray hair can be pulled back in an updo and look feminine, whereas some of those short cuts on very old women can look mannish - and the hair is still thinning. At least with length, you could do a crown braid, assuming that you were not too arthritic or senile.

[rapunzhell13]

I don't care how other people choose to wear their hair. It's not my business if they choose not to care for it or wear it neat. Sure I don't think it looks good, but they're not here to decorate my world and I'm not here to decorate theirs. I just don't agree with the opinion that long hair is okay at any age as long as it's 'nice'. :twocents:

[Demetrue]

I think that people should wear their hair long because they want to - it's a personal preference and choice based on internal feelings and not anyone else's expectations for their external appearance. I have friends who are blind and their concept of beauty or what is acceptable for women has nothing to do with any external, visible, physical criteria.

[rapunzhell13]

I think that people should wear their hair long because they want to - it's a personal preference and choice based on internal feelings and not anyone else's expectations for their external appearance. I have friends who are blind and their concept of beauty or what is acceptable for women has nothing to do with any external, visible, physical criteria.

That is really beautiful in itself. :)

[harpgal]

The 40-60 age range is really hard for women for just this reason. Past that, it's much more of a "I can do whatever I want" mentality. :agree: Yup, that pretty much sums it up. It is the lift of the chin and a smile on the face that makes the difference.

[ktani]

The way I read it, it is a society/cultural attitude. In the past, it was a right of passage for young girls to wear their long hair up. Then in the "Roaring Twenties", short hair became a symbol of freedom, following on the heels of women getting the right to vote. In some cultures, long hair is still acceptable only when worn up.

But as the world becomes a true global village, and the internet allows instant access to the styles of varied cultures, today anything goes and peer pressure to conform to specific ways is lessening. There will always be rigid mindsets IMO, but fashion/age rules to me, are a thing of the past.

[newport]

I am 53 and have grown out my hair for 5 years now. I wear it swept up off my face with a big clip and long in back. I use hot curlers to give it some curl and body. I get compliments every day from women with short hair saying how pretty my hair is. I think it is very feminine to wear your hair softly around your face and long. People tell me how young I look. I think it softens your face- where short hair hardens your face some( I had short short hair before I grew it out)

[Celticfreefall]

Another thinf about older women who have perms is that the shorter the hair is, the more work it needs by a stylist. My Grandmother had the short, permed look. She didn't get out of the house much due to her condition, so, her weekly visit to the stylist was a big deal for her. She got to talk to her friends, have someone do her hair for her, and get out of the house. It was basically the highlight of her week. It think that also goes along with the cultural/sociological reasons of why women in their 70's and up tend to get short perms. It's another way to keep a footing in society.

[Demetrue]

AND - for elderly women, it may be the only time they get touched - I am sure that going to the salon or having someone come in and massage their head, hands, etc, is going to feel lovely for them.

[susiemw]

All I can tell you is that I'm far too old to allow anybody to tell me what I ought to do with my hair.

I'm with you! Just let someone even try to tell me what I should do with my hair LOL!! With my mood swings lately, I'd feel sorry for them. I normally keep my mouth shut and try to not make waves but one of the advantages to getting older.... I don't feel like I need to do that anymore. :cheese:

Susan

[WaimeaWahine]

We live in very different times from when every woman over 40 was expected to have short and manageable hair and little old ladies all had gray perms.

I actually see more and more women on the street these days who are well past 40 and wearing their hair down to their shoulders with or without dye. I think it makes them look younger and more carefree.

Society still has this idea that when it comes to talk shows a makeover for anyone with long hair means lopping it all off. :mad: Since women are opting for less traditional roles we should reserve the right to opt for less conventional hairstyles. :) I'm no one's mother or a wife so I don't want soccer mom hair.

Attitudes differ not just from country to country but from state to state. I live in a very liberal city so perhaps that's why I'm seeing more older women with longer hair. All three of the women at my local post office are over 40 with really long hair from gray to dyed.

[Comfrey]

Well my kids tell me I'm not like other mothers and I'm guessing that is partly to do with the fact I wear my hair long and down most of the time. Especially when out.

It could also be the fact I'm already eccentric ;) and come 70 I fully intend to be as sexy as all hell and give them 20 year olds a run for their money!

Society can say what it likes I have no intention of conforming to any stereotype :p

[joyfulmom4]

Well my kids tell me I'm not like other mothers and I'm guessing that is partly to do with the fact I wear my hair long and down most of the time. Especially when out.

It could also be the fact I'm already eccentric ;) and come 70 I fully intend to be as sexy as all hell and give them 20 year olds a run for their money!

Society can say what it likes I have no intention of conforming to any stereotype :p


Complete tangent here, but have you seen "Harold and Maude"?

And on another tangent, I tell my kids I am growing my hair long so that when they grow up and leave home, I can become one of those "crazy cat ladies". :D

[Peggy E.]

This generation - the "Baby Boomers" - has the opportunity to make a huge difference in how aging in America is looked upon and "older women" are judged. There's too many of us to ignore, we don't look 25 and there's no amount of plastic surgery that's going to make this happen.

What we need to do is stand up and say "Enough!" To tell the beauty industry that we love our bodies, even if they're large; we love our hair at any length WE wish it to grow, worn any way WE wish to wear it, regardless our age.

We ought to demand clothing that's attractive, fits us and is fun to wear - in sizes appropriate for the aging bodies. We have the opportunity and the responsibility, really, to change how the "older woman" is viewed - that not only young women are beautiful, active, strong and independent.

That we are entering a time in our lives when we have new horizons to explore, new dreams to chase - children grown, we've been given time to focus on ourselves for the first time in years. We know that we'll never be young again, and we appreciate the fact that young women are, indeed, lovely. They are meant by biology to attract the opposite sex, to keep the human race expanding.

But that doesn't mean that aging equates to growing ugly - what it means is there needs to be an effort to educate the beauty industry to fit our needs. We often have funds and are not adverse to spending on ourselves.

You have to stop telling us to get rid of our wrinkles, to lose our weight, to cut our hair and show us how to best present these as assets of our living long, fruitful lives - not detriments to growing old!

Every age of our lifetimes is one of unique challenge and beauty - we are constantly evolving, growing into the full-powered female, who knows what she wants, won't allow silly prejudices that have nothing to do with us or our lives today to make us feel bad about ourselves, or change our image to suit their misconceptions.

It's time to wear our gray, white, streaked hair as long as we please, as it suits us or as we want it. Anyone who makes a stupid comment on how someone our age should not be wearing long hair, should be told just how mistaken they are, if you feel compelled to respond, or ignore the so-and-so and allow them to steep in their stupidity.

We can do this - all of us. And those who are coming along behind us, those who are now questioning our decision to wear our hair long at an age when it is ill advised for no reason other than the memos that passed around the desks at the marketing agencies, will be grateful for our carving out this pathway for them to travel down in their future.

We Boomers have given this world a lot during our lifetimes, and we're not done yet!

[frizzinator]

Well Done! Peggy E.!




Another thinf about older women who have perms is that the shorter the hair is, the more work it needs by a stylist. My Grandmother had the short, permed look. She didn't get out of the house much due to her condition, so, her weekly visit to the stylist was a big deal for her. She got to talk to her friends, have someone do her hair for her, and get out of the house. It was basically the highlight of her week. It think that also goes along with the cultural/sociological reasons of why women in their 70's and up tend to get short perms. It's another way to keep a footing in society.

This is true for my Mom.

[frizzinator]

AND - for elderly women, it may be the only time they get touched - I am sure that going to the salon or having someone come in and massage their head, hands, etc, is going to feel lovely for them.

Not only seniors but nearly everyone loves touch!

[atlantaz3]

Spidermom wrote:
I can honestly tell you that I have NEVER experienced pressure to cut my hair, even though I have let it grow for the past 8 years. There is one exception. When I visited my father who was 80 he said that he didn't like it, it looked like a big mess, and that I should cut it because it could look so pretty. Since he deserted my family when I was a teen, I don't much value his opinion so I don't count it.

My 81 year old father also told me "You are too old for all that hair." He hurt my feelings and I told him so. I also told him my intent to grow it as long as possible. It's been tough but lately I have been standing up to my parents - in a respectful way. I think at 47 I should make my own choices. They can have their opinion and are free to tell me it (like I could stop them) and I do seek their counsel, but ultimately I have to live with the choice.

This has been an interesting post and as my hair has gotten longer - most comments I have received have been positive (other than the 3 cut for locks of love comments that I squelched immediately.) I've never really been one to follow hair or fashion trends preferring a classic look. I almost feel sorry for those who feel they have to follow every new whim, trend, fashion that comes out - huge amount of time and money spent on something that is so fleeting. And does the person really get any enjoyment out of any of it? But I sidetracked myself.
To answer the tag line: The age that it becomes acceptable for a woman to have longer hair {again} is when ever she wants to have it.

[burns_erin]

Stepping away from the more strictly philospohical...in this area, 60 seems to be the age when people stop pushing a woman to have short hair, of course it starts late 20's to 30ish

[Henitsirk]

Isn't it funny that before the 1920's, Western society expected women to have long hair no matter what their age, so much so that bobbing hair was very shocking at first,and now only young women are supposed to have it? Yet more evidence that I was born in the wrong time period :-)

My mom thinks women "of a certain age" should cut their hair, but she respects my right to make my own decisions. I agree with the others who have said that after a certain (even older) age, women are "allowed" to do what they want -- perhaps because they are believed to no longer have power? -- and so long hair is acceptable again.

[Cryspatus]

AND - for elderly women, it may be the only time they get touched - I am sure that going to the salon or having someone come in and massage their head, hands, etc, is going to feel lovely for them.

Maybe that's the case for some, but I read a study that said senior citizens with a significant other have sex more often than middle-age people. They also report enjoying sex more than they did when they were middle-aged. Some also start to have casual sex for the first time in their life because they feel less put off by consequences of sex (e.g., pregnancy.) So the notion that most seniors are lonely seems to be false.

Sorry for going off topic.

[Themyst]

I was chatting with a woman beside me in the checkout today - she had BSL - waist length hair. It was whitish/blond and looked very nice. As we discussed our hair a bit, she almost seemed embarrassed to have it so long because she was over 50. She actually said something to the effect of "Well, I guess I really shouldn't have it this long because of my age". !!!:shake:

Of course, I assured her that was not true and she looked great. She did look great with it! I can't believe society has people thinking like this. Unbelievable! But then, I actually dare to wear white after Labor Day ...:scared:

[vettenurse]

I am 55 and a registered nurse. My hair is naturally wavy with a mind of it's own. Just joined this forum and haven't measured hair yet but it goes just below my back bra strap. It was down to my waist 11 years ago until I trusted a beautician to give me a spiral perm. (Remember when they were in?) When it rains or is humid, I get this little fuzz cap. Feel to old to look like Shirley Temple and need it up to work. I just cannot find styles for women who want to wear their hair up for work. Can anyone suggest a book for upsweeps, buns, twists when we have to wear it up? I refuse to cut my hair.

[vettenurse]

Your hair is beautiful. Wear it proudly!!! Who wants to look like everybody else, I don't. :)

[iriska]

i think some women find that their hair becomes drier and more crispy as they age and that's why they consider it not ok anymore to wear it long...as long as the person has healthy hair i have never heard any comments such as "oh she's too old/young/tall/whatever to wear long hair now". as a matter of fact, one of my grandmother's friends has bsl lovely white curly hair, she's probably in her 70s and only gets compliments for it :)

[joyfulmom4]

I am 55 and a registered nurse. My hair is naturally wavy with a mind of it's own. Just joined this forum and haven't measured hair yet but it goes just below my back bra strap. It was down to my waist 11 years ago until I trusted a beautician to give me a spiral perm. (Remember when they were in?) When it rains or is humid, I get this little fuzz cap. Feel to old to look like Shirley Temple and need it up to work. I just cannot find styles for women who want to wear their hair up for work. Can anyone suggest a book for upsweeps, buns, twists when we have to wear it up? I refuse to cut my hair.


*I* remember spiral perms. I got one too! Funny thing is that when I was younger, my hair was pretty straight. I tried perms but they never gave me much more than straight hair that was dryer. :( But now, as I have gotten older, my hair has gotten quite wavy. Whaddya know?

I can relate to the need for professional looking updos and that a healthcare professional may really need their hair up and out of the way for work. I posted awhile back about "looking for unfrumpy bun styles" or something like that. I got lots of good ideas. I have searched around this site and looked at people's updo albums and gotten loads of new ideas. This is the place to be if you want to learn some new styles for long hair. It has been wonderful to be here.

[intothemist1999]

So with hair, a 40 year old woman with beautiful long hair challenges the idea that you have to be teens, early 20s to be beautiful. A woman with beautiful long hair is embracing her sensuality and beauty. To see a woman past the acceptable age with long hair who looks and clearly feels sexual and beautiful is a threat. Women aren't supposed to feel beautiful unless society says they are beautiful. This woman isn't falling in line, she's not looking for approval, so the hair style that communicates that is not socially acceptable. If the woman is old enough not to have much of a sexual presence, she can have long hair and not threaten the status quo.

.


Wow! I don't think I've ever seen it summed up so wonderfully and so succinctly!! Well said! :thumbsup:

[intothemist1999]

All I can tell you is that I'm far too old to allow anybody to tell me what I ought to do with my hair.


I haven't had anyone tell me I'm too old for long hair (yet?) If they do, that's my come back - I'm SOOO old I can do whatever I want!!

I think I may be more likely to be told I'm too old to be dying my hair black! It's natural, but same answer would apply if it *were* dyed.

[freecelt]

I think it's always "acceptable". It may not be excepted by some, but that's what you face with any hair style.
Wear you hair proudly. It's unique. :)