Do you ever feel like just cutting it all off with the dog's clippers?

[Marie99]

OK, maybe not the dog's clippers, but do you get so mad at your hair you just don't know what to do? Tell me if head shaving for girls comes in style.

It seems like no matter what I do, my hair is coarse, weak, brittle, breaking, sticking up because the weather is bad, getting in the way, falling down if I put it up, and doing some fool thing to drive me to despair. Its sort of wavy, sort of evil, sort of insane.

I have long hair (BSL) because the weight holds it down. If its short it just flies everywhere and anything short of perfect weather makes it evil. No amount of product has ever made my hair behave when it was short unless I packed on so much gel it looked weird.

I've been putting it up in a pony tail, high or low with a scrunchy. Hair sticks do Ok for a while, then the hair starts coming loose. I got this http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B000KJHJ6O and it fell out of my hair after I drove about 3 blocks.

How did you learn to use these things and make a pretty round bun like a cinnamon roll? I don't know anyone with long hair to help me. My buns look like a turd even when they do work.

If I cut it short, it would be worse. Keeping it long so the weight holds it down is the only answer so far.

I don't want to be Cousin It or look like I shoved my finger in a light socket.

[carloota]

Yes. Sometimes I do feel like shaving it all off. I've been wearing my hair long (BSL or longer) for the past 8 years and I have yet to find a regimen that I can stick to long term. It really is a matter of trial and error. I don't really have a regimen, but I've been reading the tips and recipes posted here and applying some of them. You'll find what works for you. Patience. When one is trying to grow long hair, one must have a lot of patience. :)

[Peggy E.]

I do NOT have a pair of scissors in the bathroom specifically for this reason! Too many here have looked in the mirror, grabbed their (too readily available) scissors and hacked it off in a fit of unfortunate despair.

THEN they really DID have something to be upset over! That's why there's that "two week rule" but when you're in the midst of a fit, you're not necessarily going to be thinking clearly enough to remind yourself of this reasonable requirement!

The last time I had scissors in my bathroom, I'd put my hair up in a high pony. The ends looked awful and I couldn't get it to look like I wanted it to look - so I cut it straight across the bottom of the ponytail. One day it looked good. Months of horror.... :o(

Sometimes I think instead of trying to get our hair to be something it's not and never will be, we need to appreciate what it IS. You say "long, frizzy and coarse" and I see "long, curling and strong, thick."

Make it as healthy as possible, find styles that suit your hair - not trying to get your hair to suit styles it is never going to submit to, regardless your desire! There are wonderful ways to wear long, curling, thick, gorgeous hair - with pride and an attitude, love it and show it off for the beautiful head of hair it is!!!!

[zen_oven]

I understand. My hair looks awful when short--it's really wild. That's why I'm growing it out, and after months of growing and trying some better techniques on it I finally feel like it looks better. The only advice I really have is to try to love your hair the way it is. It sounds like you've been on LHC long enough that you've tried a lot of the techniques people seem to use, but have you thought about oiling? That is one of the things that has made a huge difference for me. Also, I have had amazing results using Kimberlily's defrizz spray: http://forums.longhaircommunity.com/showthread.php?t=277&highlight=defrizz+spray

That stuff made my usually coarse, frizzy hair actually behave itself.

I feel your pain on hairstyles though--I SUCK at updos. I keep hoping practice will help, but. . .

But yes, I have had the urge to cut, and sometimes wondered what it would be like to just grab a pair of scissors and hack away. I've had to get good at telling myself that 'this too shall pass' and I can find a solution.

[Silverlox]

I think we all feel that way sometimes, I know I sure do! :rolleyes:

I second Peggy E.'s suggestion of not keeping any kind of clipping tool too readily available.

Oiling, as zen_oven suggested, also works for many!

When it comes to updo skills, the only method that ever worked for me was trial and error. Granted, I did almost as many errors as trials, but if you keep at it, it's going to work. Some day.

Perhaps that metal fork just isn't the right tool for your hair? It's very pretty, but forks like that just tend to slide out of my hair, unless I bun it so tightly I get a free non-surgical facelift. :silly:

The updo tools that work the best for me are ketylo sticks of any material and other twisty type of toys that really hold on to the hair. Wooden sticks and forks are great to. The wood, even when very smooth, just seems to have more "grip". Metal forks are both heavy for their size and often very smooth, a combination which makes them slide right out, unless there's some kind of pattern on the tines for the hair to hold on to.

The best advice I can give is to not give up. Keep trying. Work you way through all the updo's in the Article section, the Archives any other site you can find. One day you'll find the combination of the right updo and a tool that works for you. :flower:

When you've purchased a hair toy that doesn't work for you, don't despair about spending money on useless stuff. That's what the swap boards are for. Your useless stuff is probably someone else's holy grail for holding hair.

[spidermom]

I think the way that you're feeling is part of having long hair. It can be a PITA, no doubt about it. Sometimes I decide on a cut that I want and put the two-week rule into effect. For up to 7-8 days, I'll tell myself "Yes, I want that cut," every day. Then one morning I shake it out of the sleep bun, and as it tumbles down around my back and arms, it feels so sensual and wonderful that I decide "no, I couldn't bear to cut it." Keep trying the up-dos possible for your length. You may never match the picture, but you might find your own version of the style that works just fine for your hair. It's good to get a handle on some styles while your hair is still on the shorter side because as it gets longer, hair can get even more challenging to manage. For example, now while I'm braiding the top, the bottom is kind of reverse braiding, so I have to hold the strands in one hand and run my other hand down the length to make sure they stay separated.

[Carolyn]

NO I can honestly say I've never had even the smallest desire to shave it all off even on my worst hair days. I know that a good shampooing and condtioning or just putting it in a ponytail will solve the problems until I can get past the bad hair day. Shaving it all off, even in total frustration, would never help and would only make things worse. I've never quite understood having the desire to be rid of all my hair for any reason.

[BlackfootHair]

I used to color my hair too much. I was taking my frustration out on my hair. I wanted my hair BSL in my natural color, yet I kept coloring it every week. Finally one day after coloring it three different times I had had it. I decided to shave it. My best friend pointed out that if I shaved it I wouldn't have anything to color, and I had some wigs to wear in the meantime. I was very very liberating. I knew it would grow back. I missed having hair, but I was glad I did it.

Not that I would want that look again. :)

[Anje]

Right now I like my hair, and I know I would look horrible with it short.

That said, I know several women who shaved their heads, and I love the simplicity of it. You can wash your hair with the same washcloth and soap as the rest of your body, it dries about 2 minutes after you towel off the excess water, and it never gets in the way. No combing, styling, products, nothing.

I like having long hair, and I look better this way. But if for some reason I can't have it, you can bet I'm shaving my head.

[Marie99]

1. Take the scissors out of the bathroom and put the dog's clippers under the sink in the kitchen.

2. Do something that will keep my hair back before I land it in the candles at church again.

3. Ask doc for valium.

[MotherConfessor]

Relax. Yeah, most of us have been there... maybe not considering a buzz cut, but certainly grabbing the unruly locks and hacking them off. But we know that this is not the best idea, so deep breath and remind self how long it takes to grow back.

It sounds like your hair needs some babying. Why don't you try a nice deep moisture treatment. Then ditch the top heavy metal fork. Nothing against the fork, they are certainly usable, but you might want to consider something a bit easier to begin with. I find that a stick by itself is often not enough to hold my hair and usually supplement with bobby pins, I particularly like the kind that are made to hold curlers in. They have a sort of bump on the bottom and hold my hair better than anything. But most of all don't be discouraged, it takes a few tries to get things just right.

[Arcana]

I will admit that I have definitely felt that way. Actually lately I've been feeling like cutting it back to above shoulder length would be great, but then I think about how long it has taken me to get to BSL (after bouncing from nearly BSL to shoulder length multiple times in the last 6 years or so), and how determined I have been for some time to make it to waist length. Somehow I doubt it will stay that length for very long. Sometimes It's because of a lot of bad hair days, and sometimes it's because I want a change, but I do know what you're feeling. The two week rule really is a good one, because unless you really truly want to do something drastic, as others have said the urge dies down after a few days

[sneakybea]

I've been frustrated with my hair before, yes, though never to the point I wanted to shave it off, though! That's just me, though; we all have our own hair issues and idiosyncrasies. I do have a couple suggestions for improving your updos; first off, I think if you're still learning, it can help to put your hair in a ponytail first, with a hair safe elastic band, before you attempt a cinnamon bun or whatever. It contains the hair which makes things easier, I think, and if your updo falls your hair won't be all over the place. If you can do a bun, but you're despairing because it doesn't look like a nice, smooth cinnamon roll, might I suggest a pretty crocheted bun cover? It's an easy way to keep the hair contained and any misshaping invisible, and you can usually find a cheap one at Claire's to play with. If it works for you (or if you need a bigger size than they have at Claire's), you can find pretty ones on Ebay and (I think) from Lady MacSnood. My final piece of advice is that if your hair is really thick and coarse, like yours seems to be, you won't be able to do some styles that others can do at BS length until it gets longer. Try some of the updos designed for APL and good luck!

[Tangles]

I see you live in South Carolina. I lived in that part of the country for a while and my hair was at its worst there. Humidity is evil!

[BranwenWolf]

I'm pretty frustrated with my ends right now. I do have some alarmingly sharp and quick Oster A5 horse clippers, but I'd cut mine to 6 inches out of frustration before I'd shave. My head has too many dents in it.:D

I think what's happening now is that there's something in my apartment water that's drying my ends out. I actually have softened water here but my hair is perfect when I go back home and bonkers when I return here. Right now my ends are really frayed- I may look around here for some treatments.

My friend shaved her head before she took a mission trip to Africa, and she looked HOT.:eyebrows: She has the perfect face for that 'do, and it was a good move for her trip, less things to worry about.

[DecafJane]

I have done it before - I went to ultra-short at the salon, and regretted it nearly every day since. I am now back to where I was when I cut it all off, but am still a bit sad because if I hadn't cut it, my hair would be twice the length it is now. :(