What helps you the most with growing your hair?

[Julia K]

Hi LHCers, I'm kind of a newbie. I posted a couple months ago, the first time I henndigoed my hair because I was freaked out by the color. Everyone was SO supportive!

Since that first color change, I've been continuing to dye it, mostly with henna glosses. But today I got sort of tired of the color, wanted a change, and wanted to redden the parts around my face that still looked blonde (naturally I'm a dark blonde.) So I did a full henndigo, and. . . I just don't love it. I don't really love my hair. I don't love the color, or the cut. I've been trying to grow it out, but I keep cutting it short. The last time was because I was thinking of phasing out the red with weaker henna glosses and going back to blonde. . . The time before that I was planning to grow my hair, but my hairdresser, said, "You know what? You'd look really cute with really short hair!" So I just let him cut it off.

So I really think I'll be happier if I can go back to my natural blonde, and grow it out long. But I just seem to make these impulsive decisions to cut it or color it, and I don't know if I'll ever get there. I don't know how to have patience with my hair!!

I'm sure I'm not the only person to feel this way. So does anyone have any advice? Any sage philosophical hair wisdom? :eek:

[utdesertrunner]

I'm the same way, very impulsive about cutting, coloring, perming, etc... My advice would be the 2 week rule. Wait two weeks, if you still want to make the change then go for it. I'm at a very awkward stage of between shoulder and APL and have been SO tempted to cut/color. But I just keep waiting and it passes. Pretty soon I'll be to APL and I think it will go much faster for me anyways. Good luck!

[Julia K]

Thanks, that sounds like a good idea. And I'm glad to know I'm not the only one who's impulsive!

Next time I want to cut or color, I'll wait two weeks. And I'm just not going to buy any more henna, so if I want to dye it, I'll at least have to wait for shipping!

Can you explain what APL is? I've seen all these abbreviations in people's posts--SBL, SWL, and I guess they're lengths? I'm not quite sure what they mean.

[MBonn]

http://forums.longhaircommunity.com/vbjournal.php?do=article&articleid=10 that might help, it has all the Abbreviations for the most part.

APL = Arm Pit Length. I'm really impulsive as well, I'm hoping being on here and being accountable for cutting my hair will stop me from making rash decisions!

[spidermom]

Play with it until you've gotten everything out of your system. Then let it grow long. I wasn't ready until I was in my mid-to-late 40s, although I told everybody since I was a child that I was going to grow my hair out until it was long enough to sit on.

I still have thoughts about cutting or color, but that's o.k. I can think as much as I want as long as I don't actually do it.

[Julia K]

Thanks MBonn, for the list. There's a lot on there that I've been wondering about!

That's really interesting advice, spidermom. I've been kind of thinking that maybe this is just my experimental phase, and I need to work with it. But at the same time, I just want something I know is pretty, and something that feels like me. Does that makes sense? Like right now, my hair is practically boy short, and sometimes I hate it. Until I was about 14 I had blonde hair down to my waist, and then I decided I wanted to fit in more, so I chopped it off to my shoulders all at once. Since then it's only gotten shorter.

"Wear it as long as you can" is a quote that comes to mind. George Fox said that to William Penn when he asked whether he should put aside his sword. I'm pretty sure that eventually I'll go back to long and blonde, but perhaps for now I should stick with the red as far as it takes me...

[MermaidGirl]

... The time before that I was planning to grow my hair, but my hairdresser, said, "You know what? You'd look really cute with really short hair!" So I just let him cut it off. ...

I have no doubt you look awesome with short hair, but of course your hairdresser said you look good with really short hair - he's not going to make any money if he encourages you to grow your hair out in a style where you don't need him to constantly maintain it for you! LOL! Hairdressers' advice really needs to be taken with a grain of salt - we have to remember that they make their living cutting, coloring, bleaching, perming (and sometimes extending) our hair, and then heavily influencing our product purchasing by telling us that they carry the best products for your hair - after they've put 2 pounds of mouse, cream, gel and hairspray in it.

Do what makes you happy. If that means keeping it short, then do it, but only because you want to. If you really want long hair, then grow it! You can always cut it short if you don't like the way it looks.

[Melisande]

If you want to keep it short, keep it short. It looks cute on you. You can play around with chemical dyes and try every crazy idea you ever had. Short hair is young and strong.

Maybe put yourself a time limit: fool around with short hair and color choices until a certain point. I recommend changing seasons, i.e., spring and fall, because we feel like changing something about ourselves at that time. You may wish to write a letter to yourself encouraging yourself to decide: grow it out or not?

There are pros and cons. If you want longer hair to look its best, you have to treat it differently from young, strong and short hair. But if you decide at that point you grow it out, do it. Again, take a time limit. Try it for half a year. Write in your calendar: six months think hairstyle over. Don't touch your hair until then. I see many people torpedoing their own objectives by touching up all the time, no matter whether it's hair, weight or relationships issue.

In order to have longer hair, you have to let it grow. No styling, no shortcuts (pun intended). It's a commitment. It's also what gives long hair its pride and beauty. It will be much easier for you to stay focused on your hairgrowth if you post and read here a lot. Whenever you feel like cutting, ask us. You will get your answer ;-) Make pictures. Compare. Celebrate your journey.

Once you reach your half-year-no-touch milestone, reward yourself. You deserve it.

You can fulfill spontaneous impulses also while growing out your hair. You can splurge on hairtoys, oils, try updos and play with henno, indigo, walnut hulls and honey. There are enough outlets for the need to update, change, experiment.

But do it only when you feel really ready for it. Don't set yourself up for feeling bad about yourself. It's fine to have short hair if you feel happy with it.

You can always try a wig and see how you feel.

Personally, I'd love to see a photo journey from the way your hair is now to long, blonde hair. The character of hair emerges when it's longer. I love to see that. It's like a hidden part of yourself. But don't let anyone put pressure on you, neither me nor the hairdresser. Do what feels like YOU.

[Arctic_Mama]

Waiting is a good idea... give yourself time and try to satisfy your appearance impulses with other things like a new hairtoy, makeup, a facial... something that won't harm your hair. Long hair is a commitment to a goal and I personally view it as a promise to myself to try something I know is beautiful, and that I WILL enjoy if I give myself the chance to get there. But if you aren't committed to doing it all the way it's probably better to just shrug, have fun with it, and as Spidermom advised get the experimenting out of your system before trying what can only be described as an exercise in extreme care and patience.

Good luck whatever you choose!

[Julia K]

This really is sage advice, from everyone! I just never expected to find so many nice, supportive people anywhere on the internet. LHC is amazing!:cheer:

I can't quite decide what to do. I know that eventually I want to go back to being blonde, and I want hair that's at least long enough to put up (it's been years, and I miss that!). The upkeep on dying my hair a color so different from my natural color is really frustrating, and I know I won't stand it for long.

So when it comes to going back to my natural color, does anyone have experience/advice with that? Basically the options seem to be chop it off and let the blonde grow back, or just let the roots grow and have two-tone hair. :cool: That's how I end up regretting coloring my hair, even though it's kind of fun, and I get to see what I look like as a redhead.

[morguebabe]

I am an impulse dyer. I change my hair color constantly, if I don't I know I will cut it and its easier to fix color color than it is to get a decade or more of growth back.

[wintersun99]

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[spidermom]

Henna is one of those stubborn colors that you can't remove except by bleaching all the good condition right out of your hair.

[wintersun99]

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[spidermom]

How long is your hair now? Is that you in your profile pic? If so, your hair is already short enough that a good trim, to remove the most of the color, should work. Then, as it grows out you can have lowlights added (just a few) to blend the demarcation line, gradually moving away from lowlights until your hair is natural... I would suggest talking to a qualified salon colorist for suggestions. Find one that will work with you to come up with the best, least painful transition plan... g'luck! :D

Or you could use one of those temporary colors to blend the two until you can cut the permanent color off. It shouldn't take long at your length.

I've always gone with the two-tone plan personally. I don't think it looks bad. When I did henna, I only did it once, and the color did gradually fade out as my hair grew. Eventually I couldn't tell where my natural color ended and the henna began. All the henna has been trimmed off now as my longest hairs were about 5 inches long when I did it.

[windblown]

Well, maybe I'm just crazy, but I think the two-tone look is fun. I, personally, wouldn't worry about it. If it's really going to make you crazy, though, go ahead and trim it off. Only you can know how you feel about it.

[Julia K]

Yeah, I don't know if I can stand to be two-tone. When I dyed my hair yesterday (now it's really dark red with a little brown, almost like mahogany) it was because I was frustrated by the little patches at my temples that were blonde, so I was like, I'll just do my whole head! Crazy, I know. . . I think I was also worrying that my hair was too orangish, and that it looked weird with my skin tone. Sometimes I think that henna shades warm up my skin tone, and sometimes I think the redness just clashes. It looks totally different on me in different lighting, and sometimes I love it sometimes I hate it. Part of the reason I want to go back to blonde. It's SAFE!:o

So, here's a question--can I actually do some kind of chemical dye over the henna--like doing lowlights on my roots or something? The last time I went to the hairdresser he put highlights over some of the henna and I was totally freaked out--I thought my hair might fry or something, but it was actually fine.

But then, when I did an indigo over yesterday's henna, the highlighted parts had a definite blue sheen. Which just led to more dyeing--do you see the problem here? I dyed my hair three times yesterday--henndigo, then indigo to darken, then more henna to cover the blue. . . And I'm not all that fond of the color that resulted.

On hennaforhair, they recommend doing strand tests before you color your whole head, and I wish I could have done that, but with such short hair, I never brush it, so I didn't have any hairbrush hair to harvest...

Anyways, I guess I'm definitely going back to blonde, I just don't know when, and I'm worried about the roots growing out because I know it'll drive me nuts. Maybe I'll just grin and bear it until the roots are an inch long, and then cut off all the red.

[spidermom]

Well, like I said, if you really hate the two-tone look, you can use a temporary color, the kind that fades out in 8 or 28 washings, to blend the blonde with the henndigo until the blonde is long enough to stand alone. It won't hurt your hair.

[Julia K]

Oh, and wintersun, my hair is now shorter than it was in the picture. Maybe I should post a couple pics here soon.

And I agree with what you said about henna/indigo being permanent! But I didn't want to use chemical dyes, and I'm really glad I tried it, because otherwise I would have been wondering what these different color combinations would look like on me. For a while I was sticking to glosses--a little change at a time, but then I just got impulsive and did my whole head with henndigo. I think this is just my experimental phase before I settle on a shade (some variation of blonde it now seems) and grow it out.

[Julia K]

Thanks spidermom, :eek: I think the temporary color is a good idea. Might help me deal with the growing out phase!

And did henna really fade from your hair? I thought it was always permanent.

[wintersun99]

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[BlackfootHair]

When I used to color and cut my hair all the time I had a lot of stress in my life. I was literally taking it out on my hair. Not saying that's the case for you...just food for thought.

What helps me the most with growing long hair is imagining myself with long hair, how it will feel, and how I'll love having it long. I also like to watch Bollywood movies too. And of course seeing people's pictures here is always inspiration. :)

Pampering my hair is also helpful.

[Julia K]

When I used to color and cut my hair all the time I had a lot of stress in my life. I was literally taking it out on my hair. Not saying that's the case for you...just food for thought.

It is actually the case with me. At least I know that's part of it. I just graduated from college and moved back home. :confused: I have tons of debt, two part time jobs and a lot of uncertainty. To be honest, I'm not sure if long hair will really suit me, or if it's what I want again, but I do just want to be able to kind of leave my hair alone. There are so many things I want to be able to change in my life, and all I feel like I can change, at least easily, is my hair.

The person I want to be is not someone who goes a little crazy and changes her hair color/cut every week. But maybe that's the person I am right now, so maybe I'll just change it every week until I don't have to any more. Get it out of my system, sort of, like spidermom said.

[Julia K]

Or maybe if I can live without changing my hair for a while, I can live with all the other things in my life too...

Does anyone know Adrienne Rich? I hope no one minds if I quote a little. This is from the beginning of her poem, "Power"


Living in the earth-deposits of our history

Today a backhoe divulged out of a crumbling flank of earth
one bottle amber perfect a hundred-year-old
cure for fever or melancholy a tonic
for living on this earth in the winters of this climate.
The rest is here: http://www.poemhunter.com/poem/power/

[Julia K]

For some reason that seemed relevant. :o

[BlackfootHair]

I used to cut and color my hair so much it was ridiculous. I was changing the color at least twice a week. Sometimes more. All I wanted was long hair, in my natural shade. But I kept stopping at CVS after work and finding a box of color I liked. I never realized it then, but it was not the color per se that I wanted, it was their hair. It was always long. My hair looked like crap. I finally was so tired of the vicious never ending cycle that I shaved my head to where I didn't have anything left to color. I wore a wig for the most part, and couldn't wait till it grew out. I didn't regret it, it was actually very liberating...but it had a lot of ugly stages.

Before you engage in cutting and coloring as much as your heart's content, make sure it's what would REALLY make you happy, bottom line. Sure it's fun to pick a new color and cut and change your look and reinvent yourself. But if it's not what you really want deep down, in the end, you may regret it.