Hair sadness and frustration

[EggLover]

I don't know what to do. All I want is beautiful long hair and for a variety of reasons I keep experiencing stress-induced telogen effluvium.

For more details I just posted my "story" on another thread.

https://forums.longhaircommunity.com/showthread.php?t=156111&page=4

Please tell me what I should do to finally get nice hair. :(

[embee]

I don't know what you *should* do, because what is happening in your world is not controlled by *you*. Much sympathy on those two perfectly horrible shocks. I don't understand how people cope with stuff like that, but people are pretty strong when the road gets rocky.

However, my answer to thinning hair was to just keep growing. I had a choice: thinner long hair or thinner short hair. I chose long. My hair toys were too big, my bun was pitiful, but it *was a bun* by golly, and I was going to keep it as best I could. After some months new hairs begin to grow in. Now they are well below shoulder length and it's wonderfully exciting. (There was some stress loss this spring, but it's stopped.) The rest of the length is pathetic, but the thickness is slowly moving down the length. Since your issue is stress related, you hair will likely regrow.

Best of luck to you. Prayers for your daughter.

[EggLover]

Still figuring out how to reply, see below...

[EggLover]

I don't know what you *should* do, because what is happening in your world is not controlled by *you*. Much sympathy on those two perfectly horrible shocks. I don't understand how people cope with stuff like that, but people are pretty strong when the road gets rocky.

However, my answer to thinning hair was to just keep growing. I had a choice: thinner long hair or thinner short hair. I chose long. My hair toys were too big, my bun was pitiful, but it *was a bun* by golly, and I was going to keep it as best I could. After some months new hairs begin to grow in. Now they are well below shoulder length and it's wonderfully exciting. (There was some stress loss this spring, but it's stopped.) The rest of the length is pathetic, but the thickness is slowly moving down the length. Since your issue is stress related, you hair will likely regrow.

Best of luck to you. Prayers for your daughter.

You are so kind.

Yes, she has a long rode ahead. I truly wish it had been me.

As far as the hair goes, I really think you're on to something. My daughter actually said to me a couple of years ago, "Mom I think you underestimate how bad longer thin hair would look on you." Kinda like what you decided. I now wish I hadn't cut, but I can grow from here on out. Thank you for sharing.

[ETJ CURLS]

Sorry to hear about your loss and struggles, but sometimes all you can do is keep moving. I've personally seen people develop smooth bald spots from loss and grief, and also seen them regrow the hair just as strong and healthy as before. Just baby your hair as much as possible and it will recover.

[Wingspan]

I don't know if this is any consolation, but I've lost half or more of my hair twice in my life. This last time was in 2020, and the first year I kept my hair above shoulders, and then I grew it from shoulders to hip in three years with an average growth rate. When I braid my hair, there's still pretty extreme taper! The waviness disguises a lot of the thinness at the ends, though I've done two small trims between waist and hip.
(I'm not likely to ever have as thick hair as I had when I was younger, but hey, it's easier to make buns now and it dries a little bit faster and so on. It was super thick before..)

I just want to encourage you, that the hair will grow back, and if you can go without many trims, it won't even take that long.

[EggLover]

Sorry to hear about your loss and struggles, but sometimes all you can do is keep moving. I've personally seen people develop smooth bald spots from loss and grief, and also seen them regrow the hair just as strong and healthy as before. Just baby your hair as much as possible and it will recover.

Very good advice, I will. Thank you.

[EggLover]

I'm so sorry for the multiple replies, I'm still figuring this board out and will do better. Hopefully my last multiple reply. :(

[EggLover]

I don't know if this is any consolation, but I've lost half or more of my hair twice in my life. This last time was in 2020, and the first year I kept my hair above shoulders, and then I grew it from shoulders to hip in three years with an average growth rate. When I braid my hair, there's still pretty extreme taper! The waviness disguises a lot of the thinness at the ends, though I've done two small trims between waist and hip.
(I'm not likely to ever have as thick hair as I had when I was younger, but hey, it's easier to make buns now and it dries a little bit faster and so on. It was super thick before..)

I just want to encourage you, that the hair will grow back, and if you can go without many trims, it won't even take that long.

Oh goodness, thank you for sharing. I'm sorry this happened to you...sounds like you get it. It's so devastating on top of feeling emotionally bad. The dermatologist said she sees a lot of nice healthy follicles (since the loss) and that it should absolutely grow back. Still in the losing phase, but there is light hopefully.

Wish I hadn't reacted and cut it, because basically it kind of looks bad either way. BUT like you I have some natural wave/curl that honestly makes it look 5 times thicker than it is. Never thought I'd be happy for perimenopausal 2B hair, but now with it so thin I am. Even the dr remarked on this several times...how the texture gave it so much "body". Thankful for that.

Thank you again, it means a lot.

Oh and your hair is GORGEOUS and natural and beautiful and if mine was half as nice as it grew I'd be so happy.

[spidermom]

Hair doesn't have to be long to be beautiful. The last time I lost so much hair that I thought my length looked ridiculous, I cut back to collarbone length. I liked it so much that I kept it for approximately 2 years, and I got a lot of compliments on it, too. My favorite aspect was that it would hold a curl for days. I never felt bad about using my hot rollers because it was getting trimmed regularly.

Now I've grown it out to between hip and tailbone; hoping it will grow even longer. Alas; it won't hold a curl for longer than an hour or two; that's my least favorite thing about this length.