What hair advice would you give to your former self?

[fairy_hair]

Here's a fun idea, I hope it doesn't exist already...:cheese:

For those who have been growing their hair long and healthy for a long while, made mistakes and fixed them...

"What hair advice would you give to your former self?"

Remember that everyone's hair is different so different things work for different hair types, but we can learn lots from each other!


My hair type: 1a/F/ii

1. A healthy scalp is a clean scalp. You can wash your hair more often if your scalp really needs it.

2. Wear a loose, comfy braid at night to sleep! It looks truly beautiful and feels luxurious while protecting your hair from tangles and giving your roots a break from buns/clips.

3. Take fish oil, heme iron, multivitamin, marine collagen, and eat all the nutritious food you can find.

4. Loose, simple buns like the cinnamon bun held with a claw clip on the side are amazing for any daytime activity such as work - they are fast, keep hair out of the way, protect the lengths and the ends, and result in beautiful fluffy waves when taken down.

5. Honour your natural parting - it sits better and doesn't depend fully on hairgrips.

6. Use the Denman boar bristle + nylon brush twice a day to carefully distribute oils between wash days. On wash day, avoid brushing or combing hair until it is nearly dry, and then use a plastic flexible brush or comb.

7. Collect lots of scrunchies to secure braids, pretty and smooth claw clips for buns and don't worry if you can't get the hang of complicated hairstyles. You don't have to be able to make every bun.

I would love to hear what you would tell yourself! :)

[Bat]

I like it if there is a thread like this I haven't seen it or don't remember it

For me it's stop cutting it and bleaching it
If I had followed this back when I first wanted long hair at 17 I'd probably have floor length hair by now lol

who knows my hairtype is these days, I used to be 1b the last time I grew my hair, now I'm either 1c (wishful thinking) to 2b

[luxurioushair]

Stop letting other people do your hair

[stardust lady]

Awesome, I love this idea! I feel like my understanding of what works for me is constantly evolving, but there are definitely lessons I learned the hard way.

Hair type: 2b/F/M/iii

1. Avoid unflattering cuts and colors: No bobs, pixies, nothing shorter than APL, no blunt bangs, bangs never cut shorter than lip, no intense/saturated hair colors, no one-length triangle disasters.

2. Avoid damage: no shampooing with baking soda, no bleaching, no ripping through tangles, no high heat blow drying or heat tools, no prolonged UV exposure.

3. Prioritize hair and scalp health: regular gentle shampooing, air drying or cool blow-drying, always using conditioner, loose protective styles, eating well and exercising regularly, making sure I don't become vitamin or mineral deficient (I supplement with a multivitamin as insurance against deficiencies which I've had in the past, like vitamin D, iron, potassium, etc.).

4. Accept natural texture: My natural texture consists of a fine 2a canopy and more coarse 2c underlayer, and overall nearly 5" of thickness. Therefore, one-length hair is not an option for me. Though that doesn't keep me from trying every few years, I eventually always come back to layers out of necessity.

And for my most recent lesson:

5. Be very very explicit in communicating desires to hair stylists, and don't attempt to cut your own hair (see above re: layers). :laugh:

[Lady Winchester]

Don't go blonde! It doesn't suit you. The only reason you went blonde was because of the identity crisis you were going through, and you won't end up with that name anyway, so why bother doing it in the first place? Listen to that someone that said: "Not on her!" when somebody else suggested you go blonde.

At least when you dyed your hair black when you were about 13, it was a semi-permanent dye that washed out. Though it took a lot more than 13 washes, but everyone's hair is different, and you were just trying to emulate Maria Roberts on One Life to Live, but couldn't you just have bought a long black wig instead? Still wasn't as bad as going blonde a few years later, so consider this a learning curve.

[~MoonChild~]

Stop using box dye and heat tools!! I dyed my hair black for awhile and getting it back was a nightmare and a half

[momof3mary]

For the love of everything, STOP CUTTING YOUR HAIR!!!!! That's what I would say, but I'm stubborn so I wouldn't listen to me anyway.

[ETJ CURLS]

I would tell myself to not stop trimming, get a proper chelating shampoo for after swimming, don't apply sun-in like it's a leave in, and don't wear a bun every single day for about 5 years straight. (That's how you end up with about 3 strands reaching TBL and the rest splitting up your shaft from MBL on up). Oh, and blow out your hair at least once a year so you can see the ends properly!

[angel-baby]

Please just eat. You need it for healthy hair, and more importantly, a healthy body and brain.
Your natural color is pretty, and will look even prettier as it grows out
Don't do that dramatic cut. Or that one, or that one, or that one, and ESPECIALLY not that one.
Put down the box dye.
Put down the bleach!!
Use lots of hydrating masks, and don't be afraid of curling products
Learn to diffuse; it's actually much easier than blow drying your hair straight

[cadaverinna]

I won't say I was stupid, but I was indeed corageous, so I'd lay it down simply so my thick head would understand:
Bleach = bad, more bleach on top = worse
Chemically damaged hair CANNOT be repaired, stop spending money and get a pixie cut bc you'll never do that in your life if your hair is long
You don't look good in purple or blue, much less in a 1920's bob that'll make you look like willy wonka
Stop washing it every day, for you it's a 2x a week thing max
Your natural colour requires so little work around that you'll eventually learn to love it and people will stop saying you have mange on your scalp when you have regrowth

[SandyBottom]

This is what I'd say to myself:
Protect it from the elements! Forget the braids and ponytails. Conditioner is your friend and washing 4x a week is not only a waste of water but damaging your hair and making it greasy too. Learn how to bun. (I don't remember ever seeing buns when I was growing up and the internet wasn't around then.)

[Ylva]

I thought to remember there was a thread like this in the past, but I couldn't find it through the search nor by googling. :hmm: Maybe someone remembers better search words than I, and finds it, in which case, I'll be happy to merge them, because this is indeed a fun concept!

At this point, I would tell my former self the following:

1. Anything that's high-upkeep is not for you. You know this from so many attempts in the past and it will be no different when it comes to hair. Seeking high-upkeep things is a sign there's something wrong in your life and you need to go back to the basics. You're not a feminine woman so just give up on trying to appear that way, and be yourself. It works just fine.

2. Your hair colour is what it is, and there's nothing wrong with it, no matter what label it gets. It's what your genes thought you should have, and after thousands of years of adapting to your particular environment, they know best.

3. Learn a simple bun. It'll make your life a lot more convenient.

[Für immer]

1. Never do anything on a whim. You might want short hair at this moment, but before the day is over you'll regret it already.

2. There's nothing wrong with dying your hair, but it's better to try out herbal colors.

3. Don't be afraid to use conditioners. In fact, your hair will thank you for it.

[LydiaStauffer]

I thought to remember there was a thread like this in the past, but I couldn't find it through the search nor by googling. :hmm: Maybe someone remembers better search words than I, and finds it, in which case, I'll be happy to merge them, because this is indeed a fun concept!

At this point, I would tell my former self the following:

1. Anything that's high-upkeep is not for you. You know this from so many attempts in the past and it will be no different when it comes to hair. Seeking high-upkeep things is a sign there's something wrong in your life and you need to go back to the basics. You're not a feminine woman so just give up on trying to appear that way, and be yourself. It works just fine.

2. Your hair colour is what it is, and there's nothing wrong with it, no matter what label it gets. It's what your genes thought you should have, and after thousands of years of adapting to your particular environment, they know best.

3. Learn a simple bun. It'll make your life a lot more convenient.

I second the high upkeep! my god bangs may be cute, a pixie may be cute, but as soon as you walk outside your bangs will get greasy and messy and crazy looking. just stop cutting them!

And don't feel like you have to wear your hair down to prove a point or show off how much its grown, just put it up and you'll be less tempted to cut it, and can let it own when you want to feel extra pretty and fancy!

[floridaorchid]

2. Your hair colour is what it is, and there's nothing wrong with it, no matter what label it gets. It's what your genes thought you should have, and after thousands of years of adapting to your particular environment, they know best.

3. Learn a simple bun. It'll make your life a lot more convenient.

These are two that I would do too! Simple buns are game changers.

[ETJ CURLS]

These are two that I would do too! Simple buns are game changers.

I still remember the day when I as a teen that I saw the lady sitting in the pew in front of me do a bun while waiting for the service to start. Mind blown and life changed.

[fairy_hair]

Simple buns are game changers.

Seriously they are, I didn't know how to do a simple twist bun all the way growing from armpit to thigh length.... only a braid twirled around and clipped round. It took quite long and I didn't love how my braidwaves looked that much. If I knew then how to do my new normal simple 20 second bun, I actually don't think I would have cut it! The bun waves are soo prettyy and it really takes less than a minute to put my hair up now.:magic:

[rosenester]

1. Stop ripping a brush through your hair, switch your paddle brush out fir a tangle teezer & brush from the bottom up finger detangling any big knots along the way. It won’t take that much longer, and hair will look so much better in the long run with less breaks

2. Wear hair up to sleep & when it’s 80 degrees or hotter.

3. No barrettes, find gentle hair toys like flexi’s

4. One thing I’d tell myself not to change, is enjoying my hair. I actually don’t regret any of the short cuts or DIY dye jobs over my 20’s. I was a late bloomer & having fun changing my look. But to past self who wanted to regularly bleach: don’t let the roots grow more than 1” to avoid overlapping, saturate with coconut oil, and trim the ends at least 1/2” every 3-4 months.

I also remember commenting in a similar thread, Ylva, I’ll see if I can find it!

[cookies]

Ylva, rosenester I think this is the one you mean (https://forums.longhaircommunity.com/showthread.php?t=153219).

I’d repeat what others have said:
- don’t bleach, you’re going for red anyway, might as well be henna;
- don’t rip through tangles;
- don’t be afraid of oil;
- hair needs hydration too;
- for the love of hair, stop doing that monstrous hair tie messy bun!!!
- you don’t have to live with the frizz, look up what wavy hair is and how to take care of it.

[rosenester]

Ylva, rosenester I think this is the one you mean (https://forums.longhaircommunity.com/showthread.php?t=153219).

:hmm: maybe? I did a few searches & even went through 30 pages of mane forum threads but couldn’t find it, so probably! :laugh:

[Ylva]

Hmmmmmm, that wasn't the one I was thinking of... I specifically recall a former self advice thread. :hmm:

[Lady Winchester]

Thought of a few more, but it's more my present self, not my former:

You don't have to give up ponytails just because somebody says that it might be damaging. It doesn't damage your hair, so you do you
Forget "embracing" your gray hair (if it ever appears), if you want to blend it away with Natural Instincts Medium Golden Brown (which is the closest to your present hair color) go for it. If the blonde you had in Grade 11 didn't suit you, neither will the gray/white
Don't take unsolicited hair advice, not even from your mother. Shoulder length is not long enough (at least not for you), since it doesn't hold a braid and a ponytail is more like a pigtail. Follow the advice of Demi Moore: "Says who?" when someone says that women over 50 can't have long hair. Screw the "age appropriate" hair styles!

[embee]

If only years ago I could have said, "Push through the horrible phase (mullet to mid-back) and it'll all be better!" And it sure would have been nice to know at least *one* decent simple updo, gee whiz.

[softheartedandl]

To sum it up: Calm down!

One will never be able to completely avoid all bad things for hair and also completely incorporate all good things for hair into a routine. I spent hours stressing myself out over every little thing. I'd panic because I couldn't afford silk/satin pillowcases and constantly fuss over whether my hairstyles were placed down to the absolute millimeter to avoid damage.

Also, to address specifically to teenage/young adult me: I know this is only a side-effect of your terrible insecurity but you are not better than others because your hair is longer/healthier! And stop panicking when somebody else has longer/healthier hair than you; you're hair does not represent your integrity or morality! :eyeroll:

I was really annoying, y'all.

[Kathie]

You have wavy hair- work with it, not against it.

[LydiaStauffer]

If only years ago I could have said, "Push through the horrible phase (mullet to mid-back) and it'll all be better!" And it sure would have been nice to know at least *one* decent simple updo, gee whiz.

As someone about to enter the mullet phase, I need to come back to this every couple days!

[SelenVinland]

Chill. There is such a thing as doing too much. I spent a lot of time trying various hair care/growth regimens I saw online and all I learned is that baking soda sucks to wash out and coconut oil irritates my scalp :(

Even further back than that, I would tell my high school self that my hair isn’t frizzy and unmanageable, it’s just wavy!

[TheWhiteRabbit]

I would tell myself to stop using seed oils and use tallow, lanolin, and emu oil!

[Deborah]

I would tell my teen and twenties self that straight hair is lovely on you. You DON'T need to sleep in rollers. :o

[Molly_Marie]

I’d tell myself that you want be happier with bangs, and you won’t be happier with shorter hair. It will never look like that cute picture you saw on Pinterest. I’d say that your natural color is pretty and learn to embrace the hair you have.

[embee]

I would tell my teen and twenties self that straight hair is lovely on you. You DON'T need to sleep in rollers. :o

Ah, yes, that would have been a good thing too! :)

[Nefcerka]

If I could go back in time twenty years, I´d tell my 15-year old self to join TLHC. And that would be that and by now my hair would have been so much longer and so much healthier and none of the dyeing and cutting and damaging would have happened.

[Für immer]

If I could go back in time twenty years, I´d tell my 15-year old self to join TLHC. And that would be that and by now my hair would have been so much longer and so much healthier and none of the dyeing and cutting and damaging would have happened.

A good advice.

Makes me think of another advice I would've given myself: To NOT be inactive for a decade (was pushing on 12 years I think) on TLHC.

[lithostoic]

Don't cut it