Thinking about down(ish) hair for wedding, but feeling a bit meh about my hair

[cathair]

My wedding is coming up soon and I'm trying to work out what to do with my hair.

My first thought was to leave it down, because I almost never do and people pretty universally tell me I look better with my hair down.


But I have a few thoughts I could use a little help working through.


1) If I leave it down, I'm sure I will spend more of the day untangling it. At the beginning of the year it was feeling pretty smooth, but now the ends are really grabby. I keep S&Ding, it will be better for a day or two then start again. I'm not sure it likes this time of year. I blow dried it today and it behaved a bit better. It's there anything else I could do to temporarily tame it?


2) I've been thinking about having it all over one shoulder, then putting a comb on the opposite side to sort of hold it. I'm still trying to figure out what would look nice. Have you seen any pretty combs in your travels?


3) Can loose hair support a large veil, or does it need a bun to anchor it?


4) I've been going back and forth about whether to add some blue/teal back into it, to feel more like me. But I'm not sure it would go with my dress. Taking some pictures today helped me feel a bit better about it. But I've been feeling a bit sad and irratated about it being tangley and not shiny. I've been having the urge to cut it, it do something dramatic which I've very rarely had before. I'm sure that's partly a like a growing pain, life is changing a lot and I wasn't sure I'd ever get here.


What would you do if you were leaving your hair down(ish) for your wedding?


Would you do something different?


Any thoughts, opinions and suggestions welcome.


Here's some pictures from today:

https://i.postimg.cc/MpDrWp00/20230725-191130.jpg (https://postimg.cc/ZWWLHZM0)


https://i.postimg.cc/CKct4xzM/20230725-191510.jpg (https://postimg.cc/3yDn87Xz)


https://i.postimg.cc/gJr7tbZV/20230725-191616.jpg (https://postimg.cc/N9qbLVbF)


https://i.postimg.cc/CKhXDqM6/20230725-191731.jpg (https://postimg.cc/yDGLCWZF)


https://i.postimg.cc/W16xhnVk/20230725-191822.jpg (https://postimg.cc/qNq1F2zJ)

[KokoroDragon]

Congrats on your wedding! Your hair looks gorgeous down. I'm planning on doing something similar for my own wedding, having it either down or a half-up for the ceremony and then putting it up (or braiding it, I haven't decided yet) for the reception to prevent massive tangles.

To temporarily tame it, have you tried a hair mask or smoothing serum? You could try a full dusting of the ends instead of S&D. Also, when is the last time you clarified your hair? Sometimes tangly hair is a sign of buildup.

Whatever you decide, I'm sure you'll look beautiful!

[softheartedandl]

Oh my goodness, congratulations on your wedding! Your hair is beautiful, by the way; the color is to die for! The insecurities you may have about the texture right now are not noticeable to me at all. I'd say your hair is in very good condition! Have you considered a pretty side braid? I'm far from getting married *unfortunately* :thud: but I have always thought a beautiful, long side braid would be gorgeous on a bride. Maybe with some flowers! The place you start your braid could also help anchor a veil.

[cadaverinna]

How do you feel about silicones, conventional products, heat styling etc? I think I might know the thing for you
Will you do your hair yourself? What does your veil look like?

[cathair]

Congrats on your wedding! Your hair looks gorgeous down. I'm planning on doing something similar for my own wedding, having it either down or a half-up for the ceremony and then putting it up (or braiding it, I haven't decided yet) for the reception to prevent massive tangles.

To temporarily tame it, have you tried a hair mask or smoothing serum? You could try a full dusting of the ends instead of S&D. Also, when is the last time you clarified your hair? Sometimes tangly hair is a sign of buildup.

Whatever you decide, I'm sure you'll look beautiful!

Thank you :blossom: congratulations on your wedding too! How long is it until your wedding day?

I can see the appeal of putting up your hair later on, it might be a good idea to get some prettier hair pins, just in case. Our wedding celebration is quite long and in three sections. One is by the sea so it might be quite windy.

I tried some Herbal Essence serum I had left ovary in the cupboard, it didn't seem to help much. I've been doing some prewash coconut oil overnight, that's seems to help a bit. My hair seems to be really hungry for protein, so I've been using various conditioners with protein in. Last couple of washes I've been using Superdrug Revive Purple Hair Mask (https://www.superdrug.com/hair/hair-treatments/hair-masks/superdrug-revive-purple-hair-mask-250ml/p/793773) it's helping a bit, but it's nothing miraculous. I've been thinking about getting some straight up jojoba oil, but I've never used it before. Do you have any recommendations?

I think dusting or a small trim is a good idea. I'll probably leave that till closer to the day, so it's as fresh as possible.

In the run up I've clarified a few times with Neutrogena Clarifying shampoo (has that been discontinued?). It seemed to make my hair more angry though.


Oh my goodness, congratulations on your wedding! Your hair is beautiful, by the way; the color is to die for! The insecurities you may have about the texture right now are not noticeable to me at all. I'd say your hair is in very good condition! Have you considered a pretty side braid? I'm far from getting married *unfortunately* :thud: but I have always thought a beautiful, long side braid would be gorgeous on a bride. Maybe with some flowers! The place you start your braid could also help anchor a veil.

Thank you, that's reassuring to hear :flower: Side braids are so pretty. My hair doesn't generally braid that well because it tapers a lot, so it looks thin and shreds. Perhaps I'll give it a try today, see how it looks. It's been a really long time since I braided it. It is grippy at the moment so it might fluff up better. Thanks for the suggestion :)


How do you feel about silicones, conventional products, heat styling etc? I think I might know the thing for you
Will you do your hair yourself? What does your veil look like?

In fine with silicones, would definitely be willing to try that, if you have any suggestions I'd be very open to hearing them. Probably blow drying is as far as I can go with heat. I'm doing my own hair, just getting make up done. I was a bit frightened someone else would just rip through it with a brush. I don't own any heated tools. Bit nervous about describing the veil in case fiance sees! But it's cathedral length, so has a bit of weight. Can pm you if you want to know more :)

[Nefcerka]

Hello cathair! First, congratulations on your wedding, and second, your hair is gorgeous!
I´m not sure if I am good at giving advice, but two things popped into my mind after reading your post.
I would advise against doing anything too different to your hair prior to the wedding (as you mentioned, cutting or coloring) - this might be a stressful time with much to do and decide and any major hair change might be regretted later.
And as for wearing hair down - I would advise to go for what feels most comfortable for you - because being comfortable on a big day might be the best option. Here I would consider the gown - especially the upper part - the bodice, sleeves, front and back - is your gown smooth (like satin)? Because if it does have some elaborate lace, pearls, rhinestones, metal applications or other ornaments in the part where your loose hair might be touching it, that could create massive tangles, not to mention snagging, catching and breaking your hair.
This is just my perspective, and I do hope you find the best solution that will work amazingly for you.

[Für immer]

First, congratulations on your big day! :blossom:

Second, I think you should do what you feel the most comfortable, as this day is supposed to be about you and your fiancé, not other people.
If you want to have it up in a bun or such a style, go for it!

As for the veil, my maternal grandmother had a short haircut (picture Betty Boop) when she got married and her veil was floor length, so I don't think having your hair down should matter much if youd decide to have it loose.

[cadaverinna]

In fine with silicones, would definitely be willing to try that, if you have any suggestions I'd be very open to hearing them. Probably blow drying is as far as I can go with heat. I'm doing my own hair, just getting make up done. I was a bit frightened someone else would just rip through it with a brush. I don't own any heated tools. Bit nervous about describing the veil in case fiance sees! But it's cathedral length, so has a bit of weight. Can pm you if you want to know more :)

You should definitely try out Color Wow's Dream Coat spray for your wedding. I essentially coats your hair in a way it's humidity and tangle-proof. Here's a demonstration of how much it protects the hair from humidity(and, consequently, frizz) (https://youtu.be/bHPPAmE22T8). It's what the Kardashians(well... Their stylists) use when they want sleek hair, and no matter one's opinion on them, their hair always looks amazing. Just use the Dream Coat spray for a blowout and you're golden.
For the veil length I'd definitely go for a half-updo to hold it in place if you're not gonna backcomb + spray set + backcomb again + more hairspray like stylists will.

[OUKess]

cathair your hair is beautiful!! I think wearing it down would look great!! Congratulations!!!

[baanoo]

Cathair, your hair is beautiful and I am so happy for you! Congratulations on your upcoming marriage! :heartbeat

On to hair! I think that if your veil is cathedral length you probably would want your at least half hair up to anchor it (and I, as a fine-haired person whose hair loves to tangle, would not want the distraction of future detangling in my mind during the ceremony). For the parts of the wedding that don’t involve a veil, you could let the bun down if you wanted - depending, as others have pointed out, on what the back of your dress looks like in terms of lace/buttons/etc.

Have you looked at the Bijoux Manuel pins? They’re really pretty.

[Dark40]

Congratulations on your wedding day! Your hair is simply gorgeous! You do look very nice with your hair down other than up. No, I honestly don't think you need to cut off all that beautiful long hair. Since you have come this far growing it at the length that it's at right now.

[Obsidian]

If your ends are grabby even after a cut and clarifying, you might try a chelating shampoo. I really like joico K pak clarifying shampoo, it clarifies and chelates. Its important to let the shampoo set on your hair for 5-10 minutes so it can break up any mineral deposits and make sure you scrub the whole length, let the lather run down isn't enough.

[tx jim hair]

wear it down

[cathair]

Hello cathair! First, congratulations on your wedding, and second, your hair is gorgeous!
I´m not sure if I am good at giving advice, but two things popped into my mind after reading your post.
I would advise against doing anything too different to your hair prior to the wedding (as you mentioned, cutting or coloring) - this might be a stressful time with much to do and decide and any major hair change might be regretted later.
And as for wearing hair down - I would advise to go for what feels most comfortable for you - because being comfortable on a big day might be the best option. Here I would consider the gown - especially the upper part - the bodice, sleeves, front and back - is your gown smooth (like satin)? Because if it does have some elaborate lace, pearls, rhinestones, metal applications or other ornaments in the part where your loose hair might be touching it, that could create massive tangles, not to mention snagging, catching and breaking your hair.
This is just my perspective, and I do hope you find the best solution that will work amazingly for you.

I think you're right, I will try to hold off from doing anything too drastic! My dress is not smooth, it's got a lace outer layer, it's quite soft though. It's probably somewhere in the middle as far as wedding dresses go. It's not covered in crystals, but it's not satin smooth either. Thank you for your thoughtful comment, you've given me a few things to think about :flower:


First, congratulations on your big day! :blossom:

Second, I think you should do what you feel the most comfortable, as this day is supposed to be about you and your fiancé, not other people.
If you want to have it up in a bun or such a style, go for it!

As for the veil, my maternal grandmother had a short haircut (picture Betty Boop) when she got married and her veil was floor length, so I don't think having your hair down should matter much if youd decide to have it loose.

Thank you very much :) :blossom: that's really helpful to know your grandmother was able to do it! I had a dress fitting this week and I tried the veil on with the dress for the first (oh my, it better than I dared to hope it would be!). I asked the steamstress what she thought. She says she thought it would be okay if I wore my hair down, but that I would need to secure it with extra hair pins. I really need to have a play with it I think, it's hard to find a moment when my fiance isn't around to see!


You should definitely try out Color Wow's Dream Coat spray for your wedding. I essentially coats your hair in a way it's humidity and tangle-proof. Here's a demonstration of how much it protects the hair from humidity(and, consequently, frizz) (https://youtu.be/bHPPAmE22T8). It's what the Kardashians(well... Their stylists) use when they want sleek hair, and no matter one's opinion on them, their hair always looks amazing. Just use the Dream Coat spray for a blowout and you're golden.
For the veil length I'd definitely go for a half-updo to hold it in place if you're not gonna backcomb + spray set + backcomb again + more hairspray like stylists will.

This is kinda fascinating thank you! It sounds like exactly the kind of thing I was looking for. I am very curious about how it is heat activated, what is actually happening there? Also curious how it lasts 3 - 4 washes. I've picked up a bottle to experiment with. I should have enough time to wash it out if it doesn't suit. It should arrive on Monday, I'll report back once I've tried it :) Thank you for the suggestion :flower:


cathair your hair is beautiful!! I think wearing it down would look great!! Congratulations!!!

Thank you for the lovely comment :) :heart:

[cathair]

Cathair, your hair is beautiful and I am so happy for you! Congratulations on your upcoming marriage! :heartbeat

On to hair! I think that if your veil is cathedral length you probably would want your at least half hair up to anchor it (and I, as a fine-haired person whose hair loves to tangle, would not want the distraction of future detangling in my mind during the ceremony). For the parts of the wedding that don’t involve a veil, you could let the bun down if you wanted - depending, as others have pointed out, on what the back of your dress looks like in terms of lace/buttons/etc.

Have you looked at the Bijoux Manuel pins? They’re really pretty.

Thank you :) I think I'm starting to lean towards having it up in a bun for the ceremony, then taking it down when I take the veil off. That would give me the best of both worlds. It would give me any excuse to get some nice pins :D I wouldn't have to worry about it tangling as much and I still get to wear it down. It would also maybe loosely curl a bit when I take it down if I choose the right bun. I'll have to see how it behaves with the above Dream Coat Spray.

I've just been checking out the Bijoux Manuel pins, they are beautiful and they look comfortable. I wish there were some that fit our wedding vibe a bit better. I'm tempted with the leaves, but they're not really the right type. I could do a blue stone, but I already have a blue thing. Wedding stuff is so decision fatiguing! They're definitely along the right lines, I'm not sure they're "the one" though. Thank you for the suggestion :blossom:


Congratulations on your wedding day! Your hair is simply gorgeous! You do look very nice with your hair down other than up. No, I honestly don't think you need to cut off all that beautiful long hair. Since you have come this far growing it at the length that it's at right now.

Thank you :flower: I really appreciate the encouragement :)


If your ends are grabby even after a cut and clarifying, you might try a chelating shampoo. I really like joico K pak clarifying shampoo, it clarifies and chelates. Its important to let the shampoo set on your hair for 5-10 minutes so it can break up any mineral deposits and make sure you scrub the whole length, let the lather run down isn't enough.

This is a great idea, thank you :blossom: I couldn't even think which shampoos would be chelating, my favourite got discontinued ages ago. I've picked up a bottle, I hope it helps.


wear it down

I like your style :)

[embee]

I wore my hair down, and the veil was a challenge as my hair is straight, slick, and not thick. Now that I know more about hair, I'd probably go with half-up to give me something to anchor my veil to and it would also keep hair out of my face during the reception where there is food. ;) Plus I could then have earrings that would show, and I *love* earrings!

[spidermom]

I have no better suggestions over what has been written so far so suffice it to say that your hair looks lovely.

[Für immer]

Thank you very much :) :blossom: that's really helpful to know your grandmother was able to do it! I had a dress fitting this week and I tried the veil on with the dress for the first (oh my, it better than I dared to hope it would be!). I asked the steamstress what she thought. She says she thought it would be okay if I wore my hair down, but that I would need to secure it with extra hair pins. I really need to have a play with it I think, it's hard to find a moment when my fiance isn't around to see!


Glad that you had a good time trying it out. :D Sounds like a good plan to play with it and see what you like the best.
Whether you'll go for the bun or not in the end, I hope your day will be joyous. :bluebiggr

[cadaverinna]

This is kinda fascinating thank you! It sounds like exactly the kind of thing I was looking for. I am very curious about how it is heat activated, what is actually happening there? Also curious how it lasts 3 - 4 washes. I've picked up a bottle to experiment with. I should have enough time to wash it out if it doesn't suit. It should arrive on Monday, I'll report back once I've tried it :) Thank you for the suggestion :flower:

Some molecules are only "awaken" w heat so they can do their job, some will work fine w/o heat, just better when you heat it up(and heat-activated stuff usually is heat-protecting as well!). The lasting effect is usually about the silicones and such, not all products will list it as a benefit but everything will last a few washes before all of it's contents are removed from the hair.
Just remember you don't have to heat it up more or anything, your usual temperature setting will do just fine. Try not to get addicted, bc that stuff will pile up on your pocket lol