Meaning of long hair in childhood / motherhood

[AuroreVesperale]

Hello !

Today, I saw a YT short on a girl cutting her long hair and saying "Why are you crying mom ? It's just hair" and I read the comments. Then, I read that a LOT of girls experienced their mother crying when they cut their long hair when growing older. I wasn't surprised, as my mom herself cried when the hairstylist cut my hair too short when I was younger.

However, it made me wonder why so many mothers cried for the hair of their children. I know that long hair have a big meaning in various culture around the world and in history but what meaning does it have for a mother ? Why does it move them so much ? Is there any study on this topic ?

What do you know/think about it and do you have ressources I can read ? :D I'm very curious !

[Dark40]

Hi !

When told my mother that my dad's wife brought me to the salon that she goes to....to get her hair cut she said to me, "You're gonna get a haircut today! And, I had dread getting it. After the cut I also regretted it as well! And, I was 13 years old back then. When I told me biological mother about it she was PRETTY upset about it. She said, "If was around thar wouldn't have happened!" And, I agreed. How long my hair was...was 2 or 3 inches above hip length! I guess you can say for a short person like me, 4ft11" it was waist length.

[Lady Winchester]

I didn't have long hair until I graduated from high school (which is over thirty years ago, but I still remember it like it was yesterday). Mom didn't like dealing with it (since I have medium thick hair that's naturally curly), so she kept it shorter when I was in grade school. I started growing it long when I entered high school, but since I dyed it a lot (black, blonde, brown), it never grew past shoulder length until I started leaving it alone.

My Mom had an aneurysm when she was 10, and since my grandmother didn't want the doctors to cut her hair off, they went in through her neck on the right side. She has a blood vessel since birth that is weak or thinner and every time she ran down the stairs, she would faint. They fixed it by simply re-routing the blood vessel, so that the weak/thinner one doesn't get used (similar to what they did to me when they removed my left breast due to breast cancer. The blood vessel that went to that area was simply tied off, since it doesn't need to go there anymore).

So my Mom didn't end up doing this, but my grandmother might have, if they cut off her hair. My Mom (unlike me) wouldn't have cared, since hair grows back, but I didn't even like losing mine to chemo (or being diagnosed with breast cancer, but it was the losing the hair part that I really didn't like).

[floridaorchid]

I'm not a mother, but I did see two videos that might explain it!
One was that hair changes color and texture as we age, and a mom was dreading the day of having to cut her toddler's hair because it was no longer curly and a certain color.
I've also seen people that say they feel like hair holds memories, like the significance of Mulan cutting her hair. I don't know, but those would be my guesses.

[Kat]

Maybe because it's the child getting old enough to decide how they want their own hair (assuming it's the kid's choice)? Or some people might have ideas about "femininity" that they think is being lost? Or if a person associates long hair with children, her "baby" is growing up?

I dunno. It was my mom who encouraged me to cut my hair when young. She also didn't want to deal with it (tangles). Apparently my dad wasn't happy about it-- I think he's just one of those guys who likes long hair-- but she pointed out to him that if he wanted to be the one combing out my hair while I cried and shrieked and squirmed, he was welcome to do so. I don't think she was that into me having it long in adulthood, either (maybe in part because she was sick of finding it everywhere even in *her* house).

[cadaverinna]

Seems to me like it's what Kat said about it being a milestone of a kid getting older and "breaking" a bit of that bond between them as a person and them as their mother's child.

I can't say that's why my mother was emotional and kept a few locks of my hair when I got it cut(and that happened a few times, actually), as we come from a partially indigenous background and that part of the family has stronger feelings about how and when to cut one's hair. I didn't socialize w them as much so I don't really have strong feelings about cutting hair -- I mean, I was an alternative teenager and became a hairstylist lol

[AuroreVesperale]

Thank you for your answers ! I also know some mothers wanting their children to have short hair because it's easier.
I agree with this idea of a milestone !

[Bluecardigan]

My daughter got her first haircut last year as a 3 year old, and cut of the thin ends that was left of her baby-hair. I wouldn't say I cried, but did feel emotional. For me, it kind of hit me that childhood really passes in a blink of an eye- it feels like it was yesterday she was born, and those days will never come back. (Of course she's still a small child, but I hope you get how I mean).

[Nefcerka]

Not a mother, but I could see one or two reasons for mums to cry. 1) kid´s hair is different that adult´s - it´s softer, usually lighter color, something that won´t happen later in life and it´s like letting go of childhood - kid grows up fast and those sweet baby times will not come back - dealing with that sort of emotions. 2) when a loved one suddenly changes appearance, it can trigger all sort of emotions - and the love between a mother and a kid is usually stronger than all other emotions in life, so changing a kid´s appearance so swiftly can make a mother uneasy or nostalgic or just plain emotional.

[AuroreVesperale]

My daughter got her first haircut last year as a 3 year old, and cut of the thin ends that was left of her baby-hair. I wouldn't say I cried, but did feel emotional. For me, it kind of hit me that childhood really passes in a blink of an eye- it feels like it was yesterday she was born, and those days will never come back. (Of course she's still a small child, but I hope you get how I mean).

I'm happy to have a mother's point of view ! I totally get what you mean, my mom often talks about it.


Not a mother, but I could see one or two reasons for mums to cry. 1) kid´s hair is different that adult´s - it´s softer, usually lighter color, something that won´t happen later in life and it´s like letting go of childhood - kid grows up fast and those sweet baby times will not come back - dealing with that sort of emotions. 2) when a loved one suddenly changes appearance, it can trigger all sort of emotions - and the love between a mother and a kid is usually stronger than all other emotions in life, so changing a kid´s appearance so swiftly can make a mother uneasy or nostalgic or just plain emotional.

The second one really resonates with me. When my fiancée cut her hair really short, I was so shocked I kinda lost my love ? It's awful to say, I realized later it was because I'm autistic and changes can affect me very much. I didn't lost my love for her, I just didn't know how to cope with the change. Of course a mom won't "lost her love" but I understand the kind of feelings it brings.

[Greengable]

I understand what all of you say, but I guess.is not the same having one child that three with long hair. Long hair needs a lot of love and sometimes parents can't deal with it.
I know a woman that her child has her hair intact, now she is 6, but I am afraid this girl is thinking about her hair more that is supoosed to this age. I don't like very long hair in children because the can't take care of it properly and it's very uncomfortable to make things they should do.

[Jolaa]

I think mothers cry because that's how babies end a certain stage in their childhood. And often the first, baby hair is different than the hair of an older child. Also, for example, in the Slavic culture, hair cutting occurred in many rites of passage - from the care of the mother to the care of the father, during the unveiling and capping ceremony (Polish - oczepiny), the bride cut off her long braid and thus symbolically changed into a married woman. Until now, important events in our lives are accompanied by a change of hairstyle ;)