Hair crisis

[paulownia]

Hello guys.
It's a mess.
Last few weeks has been a real struggle for me. My hair reached mid back and I suspect that its this kind of awkward stage (had it similar between shoulder and APL) when it just refuses to behave no matter what.
I was under a lot of stress during past few months due to bad state of my finances ( a difficult situation with my unemployment insurance fund) and I've been constantly worrying if I will be able to pay my bills and buy food.
All this made me get a relapse of impulsive trimming. In the last 3 weeks I took to the scissors 4 times.
So my hair is around 1,5 inch shorter now and still looks like crap :rolleyes:

So what I'm going to do about it.
I need to de-sttess as much as possible and try to relax with growing ( and stop cutting more of course). I will continue to take care of my hair as I used to and focus on other things. I'm changing my length goal back to only MBL - I don't want to pursue waist when my hair and nerves are in such bad shape, its just too much pressure.
I will probably not be posting any pictures of my hair for a while- I'm super self-conscious about it right now and really ashamed that I gave in into cutting urges again.
Thanks for your support guys and happy growing:D:blossom:

[Bri-Chan]

So sorry to read the stress you are going through. I think the best option for now it's to try to forget about hair and just let it be.

[Nefcerka]

Sending a hug and I wish you the best, that your situation resolves favorably and hair will grow back in no time :grouphug:

[floridaorchid]

I am so sorry you are going through stress. I agree with Bri-Chan I wouldn't have any goal, but to find something that brings you joy. If you want to do something hair related, maybe scalp massages to help relax?

It probably seems counter intuitive to not do too much for your hair. Try to find things that spark joy or destress.
Sorry you're going through a difficult time, and sending you lots of positive thoughts.

[Ylva]

Friend! :grouphug: So sorry to hear you’re experiencing this much stress. :( Don’t beat yourself up over cutting your hair. There is enough stress already. I second the suggestion of head massages (if you know your scalp doesn’t react negatively to them). And maybe just go back to the very basics of what is well, kind of grounding. Things are stressful right now, but in the end, you’ll be alright. Hair will happen when the time is right.

[SandyBottom]

Sorry you're dealing with this, paulownia. It's already been said, but the head massages are a comfort for me too, maybe with a little lavender oil which is very calming (if you like that scent). I hope things improve for you soon:flower:

[baanoo]

Sweet friend, this too shall pass! I know you are feeling so discouraged right now but your nerves will settle and your hair will keep growing a millimeter at a time. I think putting goals aside is a good idea for now. The minute length goals become a cause of stress it’s time to let them go until the pressure releases. I am so sorry you’ve been experiencing this - we’re here for you, dear heart. :heartbeat

[lapushka]

Hello guys.
It's a mess.
Last few weeks has been a real struggle for me. My hair reached mid back and I suspect that its this kind of awkward stage (had it similar between shoulder and APL) when it just refuses to behave no matter what.
I was under a lot of stress during past few months due to bad state of my finances ( a difficult situation with my unemployment insurance fund) and I've been constantly worrying if I will be able to pay my bills and buy food.
All this made me get a relapse of impulsive trimming. In the last 3 weeks I took to the scissors 4 times.
So my hair is around 1,5 inch shorter now and still looks like crap :rolleyes:

So what I'm going to do about it.
I need to de-sttess as much as possible and try to relax with growing ( and stop cutting more of course). I will continue to take care of my hair as I used to and focus on other things. I'm changing my length goal back to only MBL - I don't want to pursue waist when my hair and nerves are in such bad shape, its just too much pressure.
I will probably not be posting any pictures of my hair for a while- I'm super self-conscious about it right now and really ashamed that I gave in into cutting urges again.
Thanks for your support guys and happy growing:D:blossom:

Put those scissors somewhere you can't find them easily. Or, give them to someone for safekeeping.

It's "only" 1.5 inches. That's not even a lot. Just think that you have nice and refreshed ends now. :flower: Don't add to the stress! You need the least amount possible right now.

Good luck to you!

[paulownia]

I'm so grateful to all of you for support and good advice :blossom:. I will definitely try scalp massage ;)



Friend! :grouphug: So sorry to hear you’re experiencing this much stress. :( Don’t beat yourself up over cutting your hair. There is enough stress already. I second the suggestion of head massages (if you know your scalp doesn’t react negatively to them). And maybe just go back to the very basics of what is well, kind of grounding. Things are stressful right now, but in the end, you’ll be alright. Hair will happen when the time is right.
Yes I should be thankful for what I have and not focus on the negative now. I went to the lake and swam with my son today and just enjoyed sun and nature. My hair was wet and I could still feel it brushing my back so I thought: well its not that short:D
And I saw that our wild strawberries on my balcony are ripe which made me think about appreciating small joys in life.


Sweet friend, this too shall pass! I know you are feeling so discouraged right now but your nerves will settle and your hair will keep growing a millimeter at a time. I think putting goals aside is a good idea for now. The minute length goals become a cause of stress it’s time to let them go until the pressure releases. I am so sorry you’ve been experiencing this - we’re here for you, dear heart. :heartbeat
This brought tears to my eyes :heartbeat


Put those scissors somewhere you can't find them easily. Or, give them to someone for safekeeping.

It's "only" 1.5 inches. That's not even a lot. Just think that you have nice and refreshed ends now. :flower: Don't add to the stress! You need the least amount possible right now.

Good luck to you!
Yep it's not a big chop so it's a comforting thought ;). I will try to leave my scissors, maybe I will hide them in my boyfriends apartment :p

[bparnell75]

Hang in there and just put your hair up in a bun and forget about it. Focus on things that really need your energy.

[Bat]

Hello guys.
It's a mess.
Last few weeks has been a real struggle for me. My hair reached mid back and I suspect that its this kind of awkward stage (had it similar between shoulder and APL) when it just refuses to behave no matter what.
I was under a lot of stress during past few months due to bad state of my finances ( a difficult situation with my unemployment insurance fund) and I've been constantly worrying if I will be able to pay my bills and buy food.
All this made me get a relapse of impulsive trimming. In the last 3 weeks I took to the scissors 4 times.
So my hair is around 1,5 inch shorter now and still looks like crap :rolleyes:

So what I'm going to do about it.
I need to de-sttess as much as possible and try to relax with growing ( and stop cutting more of course). I will continue to take care of my hair as I used to and focus on other things. I'm changing my length goal back to only MBL - I don't want to pursue waist when my hair and nerves are in such bad shape, its just too much pressure.
I will probably not be posting any pictures of my hair for a while- I'm super self-conscious about it right now and really ashamed that I gave in into cutting urges again.
Thanks for your support guys and happy growing:D:blossom:

Oh no I'm sorry to hear this, just consider it a bump in the road you'll be back on track in no time

[lapis_lazuli]

Seconding just putting it up and out of your mind for the time being. Do the minimum to prevent damage and otherwise forget about it until it all feels more manageable. I hope this stress resolves for you soon :flower:

[embee]

Hope things will settle down for you soon. Stress is such a heavy load.

[KokoroDragon]

My heart goes out to you paulownia. Just try to remember that nothing bad lasts forever - you'll get through this! :grouphug:

[spidermom]

I don't have anything more useful to say than what has been said before so ditto.

Other than the occasional split or knot snipping, I've quit putting scissors to my own hair. It's much more of a treat to me to have a professional do it, which is a bit on the expensive side, so I have to limit my visits. I do enjoy it!

[stardust lady]

I'm so sorry to hear about all the financial stress - I just got laid off a couple weeks ago so I'm with you in solidarity. I second what you said about focusing on de-stressing, and forgetting about hair for now. For what it's worth, the last pictures you posted looked incredible. The color is just gorgeous - you had me reconsidering using henna again, but I'm staying strong haha.

[shelomit]

Oh, no, friend! Do you have any emergency rent assistance funds or food banks/kitchens in your area? I know from experience how hard it is to suddenly have to be weighing between the various necessities of life <333

[paulownia]

I'm so sorry to hear about all the financial stress - I just got laid off a couple weeks ago so I'm with you in solidarity. I second what you said about focusing on de-stressing, and forgetting about hair for now. For what it's worth, the last pictures you posted looked incredible. The color is just gorgeous - you had me reconsidering using henna again, but I'm staying strong haha.
Thanks ;)
The colour washed off really quick, unfortunately. I'm out of henna for a while now;) I will probably be buying more cassia in the future when I have some more money.


Oh, no, friend! Do you have any emergency rent assistance funds or food banks/kitchens in your area? I know from experience how hard it is to suddenly have to be weighing between the various necessities of life <333
It's not that bad;) I'm actually working, its just that its not a full time job ( preschool substitute) so my salary is very modest.

[ReadingRenee]

Thanks ;)
The colour washed off really quick, unfortunately. I'm out of henna for a while now;) I will probably be buying more cassia in the future when I have some more money.


It's not that bad;) I'm actually working, its just that its not a full time job ( preschool substitute) so my salary is very modest.

I have been a preschool substitute before! I actually worked in preschool for years.

Im sorry to hear about your financial stress, I know how hard that can be. I hope things get less stressful for you soon.

[cookies]

I feel you paulownia, my finances are in a similar state right now and it’s certainly stressful. Thankfully, I’m not confident at all with my hair cutting skills, so I have other unfortunate outlets for that :lol: but I’m pretty sure I’ve lost some thickness to it…
Looking at your photo in the other thread though I have to say you’ve done a great job with the haircut and I definitely wouldn’t have thought you’ve been at it four times!

Anyway, know you’re not alone and let’s hope it’s over soon so our manes don’t need to suffer along with us any longer :D :grouphug:

[shelomit]

It's not that bad;) I'm actually working, its just that its not a full time job ( preschool substitute) so my salary is very modest.

Oh, okay <3 Relieved to hear your trouble is not so severe!

[angel-baby]

Take good care of yourself, Paulownia ♡ Mental health comes before everything else

[paulownia]

Thanks guys once again for support ;)
I'm happy to report that the crisis is over now, I got a decision from authorities and I have my money now, so the stress and worry are over.
My hair is in a decent state and this trimming didn't take away that much so everything is back to normal :toast:
https://i.postimg.cc/59wQ3yFs/20230613-103934.jpg (https://postimages.org/)
Left side - before cutting, right side after the trimming frenzy :p
Back on track:D

[stardust lady]

Honestly it looks a bit longer in the photo on right. I wouldn't call it a frenzy - looks like a pretty modest trim :)

Also I'm so happy to hear that things are better! Yay!

[spidermom]

Thank you for the update. I'm glad that at least one of your issues has resolved.

[embee]

What a nice message to see! :) Happy for you.

[paulownia]

Back in crisis.
My nerves are definitely not in shape for growing long hair right now.
I'm stressed as hell.
There was a fire in my boyfriend's apartment in the weekend.
I'm a mess.
And I cut my hair again , of course :rolleyes:
I'm just tired...

[embee]

I hope nobody was hurt in the fire, that's such a scary thing. DS had a fire once in his apartment building and lost most of his belongings. :(

Sorry you cut your hair, seems stress does that to some people. I cut mine when my marriage was failing.

[Ylva]

Back in crisis.
My nerves are definitely not in shape for growing long hair right now.
I'm stressed as hell.
There was a fire in my boyfriend's apartment in the weekend.
I'm a mess.
And I cut my hair again , of course :rolleyes:
I'm just tired...

Oh no! I, too, hope that nobody was hurt! And if not, that's the most important thing. Hair can wait :grouphug:

[paulownia]

Nobody was hurt, luckily.
He lost his couch, some bed sheets and clothes.
Its scary how it affects people, the idea that someone we love was in danger. I suck at controlling myself in these situations. I just grabbed the scissors out of sheer impulse:rolleyes:
I need to calm down..

[Fiorentina]

Back in crisis.
My nerves are definitely not in shape for growing long hair right now.
I'm stressed as hell.
There was a fire in my boyfriend's apartment in the weekend.
I'm a mess.
And I cut my hair again , of course :rolleyes:
I'm just tired...

Oh paulownia Dear, I just noticed your post, poor you.
-Take a deep breath-
Let me give you a lovely warm hug!
-And now take an other deep breath-
Regards
Fiorentina