Hair crisis

[paulownia]

Hello guys.
It's a mess.
Last few weeks has been a real struggle for me. My hair reached mid back and I suspect that its this kind of awkward stage (had it similar between shoulder and APL) when it just refuses to behave no matter what.
I was under a lot of stress during past few months due to bad state of my finances ( a difficult situation with my unemployment insurance fund) and I've been constantly worrying if I will be able to pay my bills and buy food.
All this made me get a relapse of impulsive trimming. In the last 3 weeks I took to the scissors 4 times.
So my hair is around 1,5 inch shorter now and still looks like crap :rolleyes:

So what I'm going to do about it.
I need to de-sttess as much as possible and try to relax with growing ( and stop cutting more of course). I will continue to take care of my hair as I used to and focus on other things. I'm changing my length goal back to only MBL - I don't want to pursue waist when my hair and nerves are in such bad shape, its just too much pressure.
I will probably not be posting any pictures of my hair for a while- I'm super self-conscious about it right now and really ashamed that I gave in into cutting urges again.
Thanks for your support guys and happy growing:D:blossom:

[Bri-Chan]

So sorry to read the stress you are going through. I think the best option for now it's to try to forget about hair and just let it be.

[Nefcerka]

Sending a hug and I wish you the best, that your situation resolves favorably and hair will grow back in no time :grouphug:

[floridaorchid]

I am so sorry you are going through stress. I agree with Bri-Chan I wouldn't have any goal, but to find something that brings you joy. If you want to do something hair related, maybe scalp massages to help relax?

It probably seems counter intuitive to not do too much for your hair. Try to find things that spark joy or destress.
Sorry you're going through a difficult time, and sending you lots of positive thoughts.

[Ylva]

Friend! :grouphug: So sorry to hear you’re experiencing this much stress. :( Don’t beat yourself up over cutting your hair. There is enough stress already. I second the suggestion of head massages (if you know your scalp doesn’t react negatively to them). And maybe just go back to the very basics of what is well, kind of grounding. Things are stressful right now, but in the end, you’ll be alright. Hair will happen when the time is right.

[SandyBottom]

Sorry you're dealing with this, paulownia. It's already been said, but the head massages are a comfort for me too, maybe with a little lavender oil which is very calming (if you like that scent). I hope things improve for you soon:flower:

[baanoo]

Sweet friend, this too shall pass! I know you are feeling so discouraged right now but your nerves will settle and your hair will keep growing a millimeter at a time. I think putting goals aside is a good idea for now. The minute length goals become a cause of stress it’s time to let them go until the pressure releases. I am so sorry you’ve been experiencing this - we’re here for you, dear heart. :heartbeat

[lapushka]

Hello guys.
It's a mess.
Last few weeks has been a real struggle for me. My hair reached mid back and I suspect that its this kind of awkward stage (had it similar between shoulder and APL) when it just refuses to behave no matter what.
I was under a lot of stress during past few months due to bad state of my finances ( a difficult situation with my unemployment insurance fund) and I've been constantly worrying if I will be able to pay my bills and buy food.
All this made me get a relapse of impulsive trimming. In the last 3 weeks I took to the scissors 4 times.
So my hair is around 1,5 inch shorter now and still looks like crap :rolleyes:

So what I'm going to do about it.
I need to de-sttess as much as possible and try to relax with growing ( and stop cutting more of course). I will continue to take care of my hair as I used to and focus on other things. I'm changing my length goal back to only MBL - I don't want to pursue waist when my hair and nerves are in such bad shape, its just too much pressure.
I will probably not be posting any pictures of my hair for a while- I'm super self-conscious about it right now and really ashamed that I gave in into cutting urges again.
Thanks for your support guys and happy growing:D:blossom:

Put those scissors somewhere you can't find them easily. Or, give them to someone for safekeeping.

It's "only" 1.5 inches. That's not even a lot. Just think that you have nice and refreshed ends now. :flower: Don't add to the stress! You need the least amount possible right now.

Good luck to you!

[paulownia]

I'm so grateful to all of you for support and good advice :blossom:. I will definitely try scalp massage ;)



Friend! :grouphug: So sorry to hear you’re experiencing this much stress. :( Don’t beat yourself up over cutting your hair. There is enough stress already. I second the suggestion of head massages (if you know your scalp doesn’t react negatively to them). And maybe just go back to the very basics of what is well, kind of grounding. Things are stressful right now, but in the end, you’ll be alright. Hair will happen when the time is right.
Yes I should be thankful for what I have and not focus on the negative now. I went to the lake and swam with my son today and just enjoyed sun and nature. My hair was wet and I could still feel it brushing my back so I thought: well its not that short:D
And I saw that our wild strawberries on my balcony are ripe which made me think about appreciating small joys in life.


Sweet friend, this too shall pass! I know you are feeling so discouraged right now but your nerves will settle and your hair will keep growing a millimeter at a time. I think putting goals aside is a good idea for now. The minute length goals become a cause of stress it’s time to let them go until the pressure releases. I am so sorry you’ve been experiencing this - we’re here for you, dear heart. :heartbeat
This brought tears to my eyes :heartbeat


Put those scissors somewhere you can't find them easily. Or, give them to someone for safekeeping.

It's "only" 1.5 inches. That's not even a lot. Just think that you have nice and refreshed ends now. :flower: Don't add to the stress! You need the least amount possible right now.

Good luck to you!
Yep it's not a big chop so it's a comforting thought ;). I will try to leave my scissors, maybe I will hide them in my boyfriends apartment :p

[bparnell75]

Hang in there and just put your hair up in a bun and forget about it. Focus on things that really need your energy.

[Bat]

Hello guys.
It's a mess.
Last few weeks has been a real struggle for me. My hair reached mid back and I suspect that its this kind of awkward stage (had it similar between shoulder and APL) when it just refuses to behave no matter what.
I was under a lot of stress during past few months due to bad state of my finances ( a difficult situation with my unemployment insurance fund) and I've been constantly worrying if I will be able to pay my bills and buy food.
All this made me get a relapse of impulsive trimming. In the last 3 weeks I took to the scissors 4 times.
So my hair is around 1,5 inch shorter now and still looks like crap :rolleyes:

So what I'm going to do about it.
I need to de-sttess as much as possible and try to relax with growing ( and stop cutting more of course). I will continue to take care of my hair as I used to and focus on other things. I'm changing my length goal back to only MBL - I don't want to pursue waist when my hair and nerves are in such bad shape, its just too much pressure.
I will probably not be posting any pictures of my hair for a while- I'm super self-conscious about it right now and really ashamed that I gave in into cutting urges again.
Thanks for your support guys and happy growing:D:blossom:

Oh no I'm sorry to hear this, just consider it a bump in the road you'll be back on track in no time

[lapis_lazuli]

Seconding just putting it up and out of your mind for the time being. Do the minimum to prevent damage and otherwise forget about it until it all feels more manageable. I hope this stress resolves for you soon :flower:

[embee]

Hope things will settle down for you soon. Stress is such a heavy load.

[KokoroDragon]

My heart goes out to you paulownia. Just try to remember that nothing bad lasts forever - you'll get through this! :grouphug:

[spidermom]

I don't have anything more useful to say than what has been said before so ditto.

Other than the occasional split or knot snipping, I've quit putting scissors to my own hair. It's much more of a treat to me to have a professional do it, which is a bit on the expensive side, so I have to limit my visits. I do enjoy it!

[stardust lady]

I'm so sorry to hear about all the financial stress - I just got laid off a couple weeks ago so I'm with you in solidarity. I second what you said about focusing on de-stressing, and forgetting about hair for now. For what it's worth, the last pictures you posted looked incredible. The color is just gorgeous - you had me reconsidering using henna again, but I'm staying strong haha.

[shelomit]

Oh, no, friend! Do you have any emergency rent assistance funds or food banks/kitchens in your area? I know from experience how hard it is to suddenly have to be weighing between the various necessities of life <333

[paulownia]

I'm so sorry to hear about all the financial stress - I just got laid off a couple weeks ago so I'm with you in solidarity. I second what you said about focusing on de-stressing, and forgetting about hair for now. For what it's worth, the last pictures you posted looked incredible. The color is just gorgeous - you had me reconsidering using henna again, but I'm staying strong haha.
Thanks ;)
The colour washed off really quick, unfortunately. I'm out of henna for a while now;) I will probably be buying more cassia in the future when I have some more money.


Oh, no, friend! Do you have any emergency rent assistance funds or food banks/kitchens in your area? I know from experience how hard it is to suddenly have to be weighing between the various necessities of life <333
It's not that bad;) I'm actually working, its just that its not a full time job ( preschool substitute) so my salary is very modest.

[ReadingRenee]

Thanks ;)
The colour washed off really quick, unfortunately. I'm out of henna for a while now;) I will probably be buying more cassia in the future when I have some more money.


It's not that bad;) I'm actually working, its just that its not a full time job ( preschool substitute) so my salary is very modest.

I have been a preschool substitute before! I actually worked in preschool for years.

Im sorry to hear about your financial stress, I know how hard that can be. I hope things get less stressful for you soon.

[cookies]

I feel you paulownia, my finances are in a similar state right now and it’s certainly stressful. Thankfully, I’m not confident at all with my hair cutting skills, so I have other unfortunate outlets for that :lol: but I’m pretty sure I’ve lost some thickness to it…
Looking at your photo in the other thread though I have to say you’ve done a great job with the haircut and I definitely wouldn’t have thought you’ve been at it four times!

Anyway, know you’re not alone and let’s hope it’s over soon so our manes don’t need to suffer along with us any longer :D :grouphug:

[shelomit]

It's not that bad;) I'm actually working, its just that its not a full time job ( preschool substitute) so my salary is very modest.

Oh, okay <3 Relieved to hear your trouble is not so severe!

[angel-baby]

Take good care of yourself, Paulownia ♡ Mental health comes before everything else

[paulownia]

Thanks guys once again for support ;)
I'm happy to report that the crisis is over now, I got a decision from authorities and I have my money now, so the stress and worry are over.
My hair is in a decent state and this trimming didn't take away that much so everything is back to normal :toast:
https://i.postimg.cc/59wQ3yFs/20230613-103934.jpg (https://postimages.org/)
Left side - before cutting, right side after the trimming frenzy :p
Back on track:D

[stardust lady]

Honestly it looks a bit longer in the photo on right. I wouldn't call it a frenzy - looks like a pretty modest trim :)

Also I'm so happy to hear that things are better! Yay!

[spidermom]

Thank you for the update. I'm glad that at least one of your issues has resolved.

[embee]

What a nice message to see! :) Happy for you.

[paulownia]

Back in crisis.
My nerves are definitely not in shape for growing long hair right now.
I'm stressed as hell.
There was a fire in my boyfriend's apartment in the weekend.
I'm a mess.
And I cut my hair again , of course :rolleyes:
I'm just tired...

[embee]

I hope nobody was hurt in the fire, that's such a scary thing. DS had a fire once in his apartment building and lost most of his belongings. :(

Sorry you cut your hair, seems stress does that to some people. I cut mine when my marriage was failing.

[Ylva]

Back in crisis.
My nerves are definitely not in shape for growing long hair right now.
I'm stressed as hell.
There was a fire in my boyfriend's apartment in the weekend.
I'm a mess.
And I cut my hair again , of course :rolleyes:
I'm just tired...

Oh no! I, too, hope that nobody was hurt! And if not, that's the most important thing. Hair can wait :grouphug:

[paulownia]

Nobody was hurt, luckily.
He lost his couch, some bed sheets and clothes.
Its scary how it affects people, the idea that someone we love was in danger. I suck at controlling myself in these situations. I just grabbed the scissors out of sheer impulse:rolleyes:
I need to calm down..

[Fiorentina]

Back in crisis.
My nerves are definitely not in shape for growing long hair right now.
I'm stressed as hell.
There was a fire in my boyfriend's apartment in the weekend.
I'm a mess.
And I cut my hair again , of course :rolleyes:
I'm just tired...

Oh paulownia Dear, I just noticed your post, poor you.
-Take a deep breath-
Let me give you a lovely warm hug!
-And now take an other deep breath-
Regards
Fiorentina

[fdyorhruzz]

I wish you the best and hair will grow back in no time

[EggLover]

I soooo relate to hair disappointment and frustration. I understand your hair frustrations. I came here again to maybe get some support for my hair struggel and then saw your post.

Stress 100% affects my hair. It's so easy to say "try to not stress" or "learn better coping skills", but sometimes life doesn't cooperate.

38 months ago my oldest son died and 4 months ago my daughter had a post-partum stroke. She was in the hospital for 70 days and I was at bedside.

A year and a half ago I finally sought professional help and went on prescription medication for hormonal hair loss. It was working great! I had regrown tons of hair and never thought about hair loss anymore. I was also finally getting some length (an inch past shoulder). But since the trauma of what happened to my daughter I'm profusely losing again! My hair has decreased in thickeness 40%+ Went back to the dermatologist and she told me what I already knew...this recent loss is stressed induced telogen effluvium and it could last 4-6 months! I had to cut up short again just so it doesn't look sad and anemic (although it still does). I hate this so much.

No, hair is absolutely not what's most important, especially in light of my family's situation, but I cannot tell you how bad this makes me feel about myself on top of how bad I was already feeling.

I often see so many women out and about with gorgeous long hair and want to cry. Why can't I just keep my hair and finally grow it out once and for all? I want it soooo badly.

I almost think there should be a group/thread for people in our situation. Unless you have experienced hair frustration like this (hormonal hair loss or stress induced hair loss OR both. OR stress induced cutting....whether it's forced like mine has been or emotionally driven) it's hard to fully relate.

No real answers but if I could give you a hug I would. Hang in there and I will too.

[Lady Winchester]

Try losing it to chemo. It was the only thing about my cancer treatment that I didn't like. Luckily, I still had my Elsa Halloween wig to use until I got a free one at the clinic I was being treated at (still have it, but since I got my coloring back, it totally washes me out. It's a straight waist length synthetic wig that's an ash blonde color). On top of that when it started to grow back, it grew in darker (it used to be strawberry blonde/red. Now it's light to medium golden brown), so I also had to get used to that (though it might be a result of chemo and aging, since a lot of light haired people go darker as they get older).

I've never suffered hair loss as a result of stress, even when my grandmother died a few years ago (she almost made it to her 97th birthday, but died a month and five days sooner. My great grandmother also lived until she was 97 and had long hair until the day she died, unlike my grandmother, but that was the norm back then). I don't take my stresses out on my hair (since I know I'll regret it) and looked on Etsy for a memorial with a picture to give all of the grandkids (I'm the oldest).

[WednesdayAddams]

Thanks guys once again for support ;)
I'm happy to report that the crisis is over now, I got a decision from authorities and I have my money now, so the stress and worry are over.
My hair is in a decent state and this trimming didn't take away that much so everything is back to normal :toast:
https://i.postimg.cc/59wQ3yFs/20230613-103934.jpg (https://postimages.org/)
Left side - before cutting, right side after the trimming frenzy :p
Back on track:D

I have always admired your hair. It reminds me of a mermaid. I love your waves. I'm so glad you're happier with it now!

[Wingspan]

Hoping that you unemployment money will come through, and the stressful period will be but a memory!
I agree with the others - try to enjoy the summer (like you said you have done, going swimming and picking wild strawberries! Aren't we lucky here to have so many lakes with clean water!) and do fun things with your son that don't cost anything, and put your hair up a lot so you don't see it if it bothers you otherwise. Just give it a summer vacation!! :p

Some form of self sabotage is an unfortunate reaction to stress and mental anguish, but it can be learned out of by substituting some other, benign action for it.

For me, when my life was extremely hard, so that I wasn't living even day-to-day, but one breath to another.. it was when my hair grew from my shoulders to waist, without one single trim or even S&D. But I certainly know from before how it is, I've even cut or dyed my hair KNOWING while doing it, that I shouldn't and that I would regret it!

Hugs to you, sweetie <3

ETA: I just read that the situation resolved, how great!! And I don't even see that your hair would look shorter, just as pretty as always!!

[Wingspan]

I soooo relate to hair disappointment and frustration. I understand your hair frustrations. I came here again to maybe get some support for my hair struggel and then saw your post.

Stress 100% affects my hair. It's so easy to say "try to not stress" or "learn better coping skills", but sometimes life doesn't cooperate.

38 months ago my oldest son died and 4 months ago my daughter had a post-partum stroke. She was in the hospital for 70 days and I was at bedside.

A year and a half ago I finally sought professional help and went on prescription medication for hormonal hair loss. It was working great! I had regrown tons of hair and never thought about hair loss anymore. I was also finally getting some length (an inch past shoulder). But since the trauma of what happened to my daughter I'm profusely losing again! My hair has decreased in thickeness 40%+ Went back to the dermatologist and she told me what I already knew...this recent loss is stressed induced telogen effluvium and it could last 4-6 months! I had to cut up short again just so it doesn't look sad and anemic (although it still does). I hate this so much.

No, hair is absolutely not what's most important, especially in light of my family's situation, but I cannot tell you how bad this makes me feel about myself on top of how bad I was already feeling.

I often see so many women out and about with gorgeous long hair and want to cry. Why can't I just keep my hair and finally grow it out once and for all? I want it soooo badly.

I almost think there should be a group/thread for people in our situation. Unless you have experienced hair frustration like this (hormonal hair loss or stress induced hair loss OR both. OR stress induced cutting....whether it's forced like mine has been or emotionally driven) it's hard to fully relate.

No real answers but if I could give you a hug I would. Hang in there and I will too.

Oh I am so so sorry! What can I say.. Losing hair to stress caused by extremely difficult life situation feels so bad, when everything is already crumbling around you, and on top of it you have to lose your hair too..