How to make my rough hair silkier? I don't know what it's lacking

[sukapin]

Hello :) I haven't been very active here, because growing out my pixie cut ended up not being as bad as I thought! I've just left it alone and it looks pretty decent in my opinion, I'm also excited for the growth.

The thing that bugs me though is that my hair feels kinda rough to the touch, it's not as silky or shiny as other people's. Also, since I can remember, it gets very frizzy whenever it's been wet, no matter what I do. I've tried drying it with a microfibel towel, airdrying without touching it at all (A wet mess nonetheless!), blowdrying, using various products, it always ends up looking mostly the same. I've found exactly ONE product that tames it a little bit, at least it kept me from looking like a spiky hedgehog when my hair was shorter, but I don't use it much now because it makes my hair get dirty faster (same for most leave-in products). It's some sort of "micro-keratine" mousse.
I'm including all this info in case it helps to tell what kind of treatment I need :( I don't know much about protein, hydration, oils etc.

Some other details:

-It's very thick and the strands are medium to coarse I'd say, definitely not fine
-Mostly straight with some bends, it stays straight when wet (I don't get ringlets or anything like that, so I don't think I have "secretly curly" hair)
-It's hard to get it wet but when it does it takes ages to dry completely
-I guess the lack of trimming since october doesn't help... but I don't have visible split ends at least, so I'm not sure if it's only because of wear damage. I don't curl or straighten it and I only blow dry very occasionally
-I remember when it was long, brushing it left it smoother for a while but later it was rough again

I hope someone can help and thank you in advance!

[Shorty89]

I may be mistaken but I think what you're describing is a characteristic of more coarse hair. I'm not sure there is a way to make it silky. As for frizz, maybe try a different conditioner?

[The Lizard Wife]

Your description reminds me of how my hair can behave. When I had it in a pixie it would fluff up and stick out and feel rough and coarse after being washed (I personally described it as a wolf pelt, but hedgehog would have been apt). My hair was perfectly healthy but I'd use the heaviest conditioners I could find for dry, damaged, heat-fried, frizzy hair to try to weigh it down, but they never worked (and I never put in product post-wash because I didn't want to style and didn't want it to make my hair dirty). Now that it's longer I'd describe it as frizzy after being washed, which was not a word I'd ever associated with straight hair.

Currently I put oil on my ends (and a significant portion of the length) after washing, which helps give my hair slip so it feels silkier and weighs it down so it looks less floofy and frizzy. Doing this works for me because I don't care if it makes my hair look dirty (I'm stretching washes anyway, I need my hair to be dirty with oil/sebum or I can't work with it at all, and I'd stopped using cones because my hair looks and feels icky if it's sebum on top of cones, while it looks and feels oily but smooth and sleek and nice if it's sebum alone). So my guess is that you would need some kind of leave-in product or an oil to use, but I'm not sure if there are any of those that won't make your hair get dirty faster. I'm assuming it's just part of the trade-off.

[sukapin]

Hmmm it sounds like my hair just is like this then? ;-; I really don't like the weighed down effect of leave-in products... I was hoping to learn that my hair was missing some kind of key element T T like protein, or that it had an excess of protein, etc, and for there to be a treatment to make it better.
To answer Shorty89's question, I tried tons of conditioners when my hair was long :( they either work a little toward detangling and a bit more softness (but only the day after, and they do nothing against the post wash frizz), or they feel like water and do absolutely nothing for my hair. I don't know what makes the difference but I remember baby conditioners were in the first category

[Liz_H]

A gelatin treatment will make your hair shinier, I don't remember about silkier It's a mild protein, but I think it is only absorbed by fine hair. I think it lasts about a month.

[Estrid]

Hmmm it sounds like my hair just is like this then? ;-; I really don't like the weighed down effect of leave-in products... I was hoping to learn that my hair was missing some kind of key element T T like protein, or that it had an excess of protein, etc, and for there to be a treatment to make it better.
To answer Shorty89's question, I tried tons of conditioners when my hair was long :( they either work a little toward detangling and a bit more softness (but only the day after, and they do nothing against the post wash frizz), or they feel like water and do absolutely nothing for my hair. I don't know what makes the difference but I remember baby conditioners were in the first category

That might be the case, yeah. My hair is like that naturally, I grew up at a place where "typical scandinavian hair" was the main target for all hair commercials because most people here do have that straight silky (fine) hair. I also thought my hair was lacking something, especially since the hair at the lower part of my head is smoother, but I've come to realise that my hair is coarse and this is just the way it is for me.

The silkiest my hair has ever been was when I washed my hair with conditioner only. It was a bit strange to have my hair be considerably flatter (it's rather poofy naturally), but it did have quite a bit more slip and sheen to it. I stopped that once I got paranoid about hair loss, which, in hindsight, was probably nothing to actually be concerned about. Using that much conditioner in the shower and really massaging your scalp probably makes more hair come out at once :silly: but it did scare me.

I've come to accept my hair and nowadays I quite like my rough texture. Sure, since I don't use any flat irons or heat in general I don't look as "put together" as some others might. The flyaways are going strong and the frizz is just there, but I do like my hair.

[Shug]

My hair is naturally pretty coarse and frizzy, what helped me to make it silkier is to use a boar bristle brush consistently and a heavy leave in conditioner on wash days

[Saldana]

It sounds like you're doing all the right things for your hair to be happy and healthy......the 'roughness' might just be your natural texture - not a bad thing at all! Not everybody has silky/slippery hair. I used to have very slippery, nordic-type hair, before menopause, and before moving to a much damper climate (high desert to the Pacific northwest). My hair has become more.....I guess "textured" is the best way to describe it. I like it, it's MUCH easier to put up and keep up. You might be able to change the texture of your hair with maybe what they used to call a glossing (?) treatment, or heavy silicones, but...I'd say as long as your hair is strong and healthy and happy, embrace it! I'm sure it is beautiful just the way it is. :)

[olivetime]

Satin/Silk pillowcase & drinking 2 cups of Nettle infusion (nettle tea, leaves soaked for 4+ hours) daily. Nettle tea is so good for whole body but you'll notice a difference with your hair too! Shinier/softer ♡

[Shorty89]

Hmmm it sounds like my hair just is like this then? ;-; I really don't like the weighed down effect of leave-in products... I was hoping to learn that my hair was missing some kind of key element T T like protein, or that it had an excess of protein, etc, and for there to be a treatment to make it better.
To answer Shorty89's question, I tried tons of conditioners when my hair was long :( they either work a little toward detangling and a bit more softness (but only the day after, and they do nothing against the post wash frizz), or they feel like water and do absolutely nothing for my hair. I don't know what makes the difference but I remember baby conditioners were in the first category

Have you tried silicones vs silicone free? That could be something to consider.

[memeow]

I think everyone’s right that this is likely a characteristic of your hair and not a deficiency or something like that—thicker hair is often a bit rougher too. But if you’re looking for a product that will get you silkier, you might try L’Oreal’s Elvive 8 second miracle water. I have no idea what this actually is or how it works but I bought it based on Amazon reviews and it leaves my hair very silky and shiny. Could be worth a try anyway.

[meepster]

My hair is like this - very coarse and rough and not at all silky. I find that aloe gel makes it a bit softer. I ran out of aloe gel and I'm noticing it's rougher and frizzier today.

[lapushka]

What do you usually wash with? Sulfate-free? If so, you might need to re-set your hair, especially reading that the product sort of gets the hair coated and oily faster. Made me think, hey what about a clarifying wash here?

Get the cheapest of the cheap sulfate laden shampoo you can find, and wash with that. If your hair feels dry, the best thing is to give it a conditioner (on the lengths only) or a mask. No need to leave that on 10 minutes or longer. Just couple minutes, rinse, it'll be fine. If you want a recommendation anything for dry/damaged hair is going to be the most moisturizing product on the market. Get that. Or, otherwise use whatever you have. No need go buy stuff especially.

Hope this helped.