Hair f3tish

[valkyrie90]

Recently I have joined a group on FB for people who have long hair and ones who love it. A girl shared her messages with a guy who confronted and criticize her for chopping her hair off. She then patiently explained to him that she had to chop her hair off due to an accident that made it hard for her to take care of her hair. That guy then said how careless and impatient she is to cut off her hair like that. I was in awe of how weird some people act on that group. Since I posted some pics of my hair, I got some friend requests of the male members on that group saying how beautiful my hair is that makes them wanna touch my hair blah blah. It makes me cringed. I'm like dude, even my husband is not allowed to touch my hair.

Well hair appreciation is one thing but hair f3tish is a totally different. People with hair f3tish seem not to see the person that wear the hair, only see the hair itself , the object of their desire. That makes me cringe some more.

After all, LHC is a safe home I always turn to. Love you all !

[illicitlizard]

Yeah there's a bit of that on reddit too, creeps messaging and acting strange about hair and various other things. That's the issue with all f*tishes I suppose, people are into a certain physical feature or act, not necessarily the person attached to it. I find it really creepy, feels like you can't post anything for fear of someone taking it as an invitation to invade your privacy and attempt to act out their strange fantasies through messages with a complete stranger (who literally didn't consent to being sent such a message in the first place, ick).

LHC is great at minimising the creepies, love it here!

[RebekahE]

I joined a FB group for long hair once, I left and blocked some people when some of the members dug up an old profile pic of when my hair was classic and started leaving creepy comments. The comments left on pictures shared in the group were disturbing as well.

[lapushka]

I would leave that group, honestly, if they don't go against that guy then that means they are open to that sort of thing, and I would not want to be part of it then. Stay here, be safe!

[Iyashikei]

That sounds like a facebook group I'd avoid like the plague.

[gossamer]

Back when I used hair related hashtags on instagram posts, I got a lot of private messages from guys like that.

If I felt like being annoying, I'd pretend like I didn't understand them and talk incessantly about how these men should grow long hair too, since if they love long hair so much, why don't they grow it themselves? Don't they love themselves and want to be happy? Sometimes this devolved into them yelling at me about how men have to have short hair, and women have to have long hair... so I'd start suggesting that men can wear skirts too, why should we be held to these limited and nonsensical gender stereotypes anyway?

If I felt like being confrontational, I'd respond asking why my hair makes them think I share their same "appreciation" and why they think I want messages like that without asking me if I want to hear them. Only on one occasion did this result in a guy saying something like "hmm, you're right, I do only want people who are into this to participate in it with me, it's not fair to assume because you have long hair that you grew it out for me to look at in this way and detail it in messages to you before I ask." I have explained the word "consent" more times than you'd imagine, mostly to complete incomprehension.

Usually when they realize that I'm not going to gush over how much I love their messages and ask for more and agree to marriage or whatever, dudes just get angry with me, and then I block them. "If you didn't want me to say something gross why did you have long hair? Why did you post a picture? Why did you use the internet? Why were you ever born? You don't deserve love you're so stuck up...." standard sort of harassment stuff.

I got so sick of it a few years ago that I deleted/blocked about 500 followers on instagram who I suspected or already knew were this type of follower. I stopped using hair related hashtags and I stopped participating in hair style twinning sorts of things. I block probably 50% of the new accounts that follow me now. Essentially, but for rare occasions, I don't post photos of my hair anywhere besides LHC. I tell commenters who say "please post hair photos" to go away or use google to satisfy their urges, not me. I get a lot fewer DMs now, thankfully!

If there's any moral to the story, it's that people who assume you're into the same f***sh as them without asking for your consent are violating your boundaries and that's wrong. And LHC is really good at keeping people like that out who can't imagine that any person would grow long hair except to please others...

Get out of that Facebook group if they aren't going to have mods to protect posters from unwanted comments, or if the group description is clearly using language that says it's a community for "appreciation" etc. Unless that's your thing (and OP, from your description it doesn't sound that way at all), that's not going to be the kind of hair space you want to be in

[lapushka]

Back when I used hair related hashtags on instagram posts, I got a lot of private messages from guys like that.

If I felt like being annoying, I'd pretend like I didn't understand them and talk incessantly about how these men should grow long hair too, since if they love long hair so much, why don't they grow it themselves? Don't they love themselves and want to be happy? Sometimes this devolved into them yelling at me about how men have to have short hair, and women have to have long hair... so I'd start suggesting that men can wear skirts too, why should we be held to these limited and nonsensical gender stereotypes anyway?

If I felt like being confrontational, I'd respond asking why my hair makes them think I share their same "appreciation" and why they think I want messages like that without asking me if I want to hear them. Only on one occasion did this result in a guy saying something like "hmm, you're right, I do only want people who are into this to participate in it with me, it's not fair to assume because you have long hair that you grew it out for me to look at in this way and detail it in messages to you before I ask." I have explained the word "consent" more times than you'd imagine, mostly to complete incomprehension.

Usually when they realize that I'm not going to gush over how much I love their messages and ask for more and agree to marriage or whatever, dudes just get angry with me, and then I block them. "If you didn't want me to say something gross why did you have long hair? Why did you post a picture? Why did you use the internet? Why were you ever born? You don't deserve love you're so stuck up...." standard sort of harassment stuff.

I got so sick of it a few years ago that I deleted/blocked about 500 followers on instagram who I suspected or already knew were this type of follower. I stopped using hair related hashtags and I stopped participating in hair style twinning sorts of things. I block probably 50% of the new accounts that follow me now. Essentially, but for rare occasions, I don't post photos of my hair anywhere besides LHC. I tell commenters who say "please post hair photos" to go away or use google to satisfy their urges, not me. I get a lot fewer DMs now, thankfully!

If there's any moral to the story, it's that people who assume you're into the same f***sh as them without asking for your consent are violating your boundaries and that's wrong. And LHC is really good at keeping people like that out who can't imagine that any person would grow long hair except to please others...

Get out of that Facebook group if they aren't going to have mods to protect posters from unwanted comments, or if the group description is clearly using language that says it's a community for "appreciation" etc. Unless that's you're thing (and OP, from your description it doesn't sound that way at all), that's not going to be the kind of hair space you want to be in.

Bolded especially: well said.

And it's nice to hear from someone with super long hair on this.

I think my hair is too short for that kind of thing, or, they already know my personality and decide messing with me is not worth it. LOL :spitting:
Yeah, that could be it. ;)

OP, get out of that group, girl, it's not worth it. Doesn't sound like they are very much pro-active... and you need to be with this "sure thing" going around. Right?

[valkyrie90]

Back when I used hair related hashtags on instagram posts, I got a lot of private messages from guys like that.

If I felt like being annoying, I'd pretend like I didn't understand them and talk incessantly about how these men should grow long hair too, since if they love long hair so much, why don't they grow it themselves? Don't they love themselves and want to be happy? Sometimes this devolved into them yelling at me about how men have to have short hair, and women have to have long hair... so I'd start suggesting that men can wear skirts too, why should we be held to these limited and nonsensical gender stereotypes anyway?

If I felt like being confrontational, I'd respond asking why my hair makes them think I share their same "appreciation" and why they think I want messages like that without asking me if I want to hear them. Only on one occasion did this result in a guy saying something like "hmm, you're right, I do only want people who are into this to participate in it with me, it's not fair to assume because you have long hair that you grew it out for me to look at in this way and detail it in messages to you before I ask." I have explained the word "consent" more times than you'd imagine, mostly to complete incomprehension.

Usually when they realize that I'm not going to gush over how much I love their messages and ask for more and agree to marriage or whatever, dudes just get angry with me, and then I block them. "If you didn't want me to say something gross why did you have long hair? Why did you post a picture? Why did you use the internet? Why were you ever born? You don't deserve love you're so stuck up...." standard sort of harassment stuff.

I got so sick of it a few years ago that I deleted/blocked about 500 followers on instagram who I suspected or already knew were this type of follower. I stopped using hair related hashtags and I stopped participating in hair style twinning sorts of things. I block probably 50% of the new accounts that follow me now. Essentially, but for rare occasions, I don't post photos of my hair anywhere besides LHC. I tell commenters who say "please post hair photos" to go away or use google to satisfy their urges, not me. I get a lot fewer DMs now, thankfully!

If there's any moral to the story, it's that people who assume you're into the same f***sh as them without asking for your consent are violating your boundaries and that's wrong. And LHC is really good at keeping people like that out who can't imagine that any person would grow long hair except to please others...

Get out of that Facebook group if they aren't going to have mods to protect posters from unwanted comments, or if the group description is clearly using language that says it's a community for "appreciation" etc. Unless that's you're thing (and OP, from your description it doesn't sound that way at all), that's not going to be the kind of hair space you want to be in.

Very well said! You are one of the people who might have to go through this sh*t the most I guess, with your legendary hair. I remember watching your YouTube videos thinking wow her hair looks like a dream. You're my hair idol ❤


Bolded especially: well said.

And it's nice to hear from someone with super long hair on this.

I think my hair is too short for that kind of thing, or, they already know my personality and decide messing with me is not worth it. LOL :spitting:
Yeah, that could be it. ;)

OP, get out of that group, girl, it's not worth it. Doesn't sound like they are very much pro-active... and you need to be with this "sure thing" going around. Right?

I joined that group because I wondered if any people from my country still wear their hair long. Most people from that group have knee-length hair and beyond but their photos are surrounded by the comments from some dirty old men who have hair f*tish. I left that group already. If I wanna behold hair that longer and much more beautiful than mine I could always creeping in the knee-length and beyond thread. I feel safe and cozy here. Everytime people give me sh*t that hair related, I come to LHC as my most solid shelter. I really appreciate that.


I just feel bad for the girl who I mentioned above. She had to cut back her knee-length hair and it broke her heart. And it keeps breaking when that creepy guy keeps mentioning it. It's better if people keep their f*tithes for themselves, without voicing it out loud without consent like that. *sigh*

[EdG]

Get out of that Facebook group if they aren't going to have mods to protect posters from unwanted comments, or if the group description is clearly using language that says it's a community for "appreciation" etc. This is sage advice. :thumbsup:

LHC has the right target audience: people who have long hair or are growing long hair (men and women alike!). In contrast, people who "admire" long hair on others are like the plague on other boards. :shudder:
Ed

[lapushka]

I'm sure there's the one or two we "miss" around here, but they pretty much behave, I reckon. :p You can't, unfortunately, catch them all.

[Iyashikei]

I'm sure there's the one or two we "miss" around here, but they pretty much behave, I reckon. :p You can't, unfortunately, catch them all.

Yeah, you don't see any weirdos here which means the mods do a good job. This is probably one of the best forums in that regard.

[Aunt Rapunzel]

It amazes me that some people behave in such a bizarre way around long hair. Back when my hair was much longer, I had worn it down when I went to the store...and I was standing at a bulletin board, reading some ads when I felt a hand stroking my hair down my back! I turned to look and it was a man who was a complete stranger to me! Who DOES that?? It is NOT okay. Then I had another man tell me that it wasn't safe for me to go out by myself with such beautiful hair. There are some creepers out there. I'm glad that we have a "safe haven" here.

[MusicalSpoons]

I'm sure there's the one or two we "miss" around here, but they pretty much behave, I reckon. :p You can't, unfortunately, catch them all.

That's the thing though, anyone can use pictures for whatever they want (and URGH I felt disgusting even typing that out) but if anyone like that is registered here and sees photos, they clearly don't actually try to involve the person in their … appreciation. Yes using photos like that is already without consent, because when we share photos it's not for that, but that's the risk you take on the internet. But really, if anyone has 'slipped through the net' and remains here, they have only done so because they leave people alone and don't do anything to make us feel unsafe.

Edit: I haven't been active on Reddit for a while but the long hair sub was actively looking for ways to make it a safe space and family-friendly too.

[Arciela]

Ugh, that's so creepy! That happened a *lot* to me on Fb, so much that I deactivated/deleted mine and my IG. I notice now it's happening on reddit, that'll probably be the next thing to go :( it's just not worth it.

I've even had stalkers on here but the mods acted FAST luckily and I changed my name, hid my pics and things are great now :) -honestly I find LHC to be the best and safest place for hair related things :flower:

[lapushka]

Ugh, that's so creepy! That happened a *lot* to me on Fb, so much that I deactivated/deleted mine and my IG. I notice now it's happening on reddit, that'll probably be the next thing to go :( it's just not worth it.

I've even had stalkers on here but the mods acted FAST luckily and I changed my name, hid my pics and things are great now :) -honestly I find LHC to be the best and safest place for hair related things :flower:

I was witness to that nick change. I am glad that something could be done for you! :)
Glad that everything's OK now.

I just don't publicly share my hair pictures, because I know what the reactions are going to be like. I just don't. The world is not innocent enough.