Fear or haircuts since childhood

[Loveletters]

I actually wanted to post this in the ‘Off-Topic’ section considering this post doesn’t really have to do with haircare whatsoever. But that section didn’t accept new threads, so I guess I’ll post it here. Feel free to move if this isn’t the right section! ^^

Alright then. As a toddler/child, I had a major haircut phobia for some odd, unexplainable reason. Nothing ever triggered it, it’s like I was born with it. Whenever someone I knew had their hair cut or I saw a unique or extreme hairstyle outside or on TV (like something asymmetrical or a buzzcut), I threw a huge tantrum. Even when cartoon characters went to the hairdresser in educational kids shows, I would start crying and screaming. Why? I don’t know to be honest. I assume it was the fear of sudden change and surprise, or losing something that was part of someone in my eyes. I saw no difference between cutting your hair short and cutting off a limb.

Even though I’m 18 now, it never fully went away. I can watch people get trims with ease now, or walk past a hair salon window without covering/averting my eyes. But I still get dizzy and nauseous when someone cuts of their ponytail or shaves their head for example (God, especially if it’s on TV in a disrespectful way like in those modeling shows or shows where it’s a bet). And I dread the subjects of haircuts even being brought up in a conversation because it makes me feel physically sick.
And it’s not just the cutting. When I read about hair loss, it’s like my body gets numb and the blood is streaming away from my limbs.

When it comes to having my own hair cut, I’m actually doing decent. I keep it at a length where I don’t need very regular trims and you see no difference if it’s cut a bit too short. But even as a kid I was surprisingly fine with having my own hair cut. I do get nervous, start trembling slightly, might get a little dizzy. But besides that I’m fine, it’s not as bad as when it happens to other people at least.

What the hell could be the reason behind this? And is there any way to get rid of it? I’ve tried all kinds of things, from forcing myself to watch videos (shocked at how much… “Special footage” there is out there surrounding this topic btw, if you get what I mean :’D) to writing stories about characters having haircuts. Does it help? Nope, the videos disturb me and the stories just don’t really seem to help… But then, what will?

[Kathie]

Loveletters, that's a lot to have to deal with over the course of your life. Sorry to hear you've been through this. Have you seen someone professionally about it? There are a number of therapy options. What you described in your last paragraph is exposure therapy, which is not always the best therapy for everyone.

[Bat]

https://www.hairfinder.com/info/haircutphobias.htm this might be an interesting read for yoy

[Glitch]

I'm no therapist, but have had a few irrational anxiety problems (I mean, anxiety itself is when we catastrophize things in our minds, so...) and the counsellor highly recommended exposure therapy. That's essentially what you've been doing with watching videos of hair getting cut, however, there are many layers to it. For example (and I know this sounds "bad" but I've had to do this too for my own anx problems), forcing yourself to discuss the topic once in a while, reading some articles about hair loss, and watching some positive transformations like random model competition series like ANTM where they all get drastic hair makeovers, including getting their ponytails chopped off and more, to develop positive associations with said fear. These are just off the top of my head, but the more something irrationally scares you, the more you generally need to keep exposing yourself to it.

Doing this kind of stuff was incredibly difficult but it really helped me by making me become desensitized to the “scary” things I kept exposing myself to. It eventually becomes normal then and nothing out of the ordinary, rather than something that shocks you once in a while.

With all of this being said, I 100% recommend seeing a therapist or counsellor, who will find the root cause of why this happens with you in the first place and which exact steps you should take. They review your entire history since childhood and trust me, an essay here and there isn’t gonna get some rando online to figure and sort this all out. Nothing quite like an in-person, in-depth consultation and possible diagnosis. Also, if you're a student, especially in university, there are often very affordable or totally free options available. Otherwise, I would save up for a couple sessions. Some of the best money I've ever spent was on improving my mental health and anger issues :). Worth every bit. You don't deserve to continue living with irrational fears when you could be doing so much more and better with your time and energy. Plus, you're still so young and it's always a good idea to address these kinds of things sooner rather than later, and to get it out of the way. It won't be easy, but you're gonna be alright. Just know you’re not alone - that I've been there, that plenty of people have been, and yes, it's a bit terrifying, but then you finally get over that bridge and it's better than it ever was before :). If you haven’t been able to solve this on your own throughout all of these years, it’s time to turn to a qualified expert whose very job it is to crack the code. Lots of love to you. ♡

[secret soup]

I also recommend therapy; I have something similar but for a different phobia. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy.

[lapushka]

Yep, this is so hard for people like us (laypeople) to deal with and it sounds like it affects you majorly. If there's a physical response, that's severe. I would also recommend seeking out a counselor or therapist for this, if you can afford it. I mean, it looks like it has "stabilized" a bit growing up, but it is still enough to cause some concern, I feel.

I wish you all the best! Tough to deal with, for sure! :flower:

[Bat]

I'm no therapist, but have had a few irrational anxiety problems (I mean, anxiety itself is when we catastrophize things in our minds, so...) and the counsellor highly recommended exposure therapy. That's essentially what you've been doing with watching videos of hair getting cut, however, there are many layers to it. For example (and I know this sounds "bad" but I've had to do this too for my own anx problems), forcing yourself to discuss the topic once in a while, reading some articles about hair loss, and watching some positive transformations like random model competition series like ANTM where they all get drastic hair makeovers, including getting their ponytails chopped off and more, to develop positive associations with said fear. These are just off the top of my head, but the more something irrationally scares you, the more you generally need to keep exposing yourself to it.

Doing this kind of stuff was incredibly difficult but it really helped me by making me become desensitized to the “scary” things I kept exposing myself to. It eventually becomes normal then and nothing out of the ordinary, rather than something that shocks you once in a while.

With all of this being said, I 100% recommend seeing a therapist or counsellor, who will find the root cause of why this happens with you in the first place and which exact steps you should take. They review your entire history since childhood and trust me, an essay here and there isn’t gonna get some rando online to figure and sort this all out. Nothing quite like an in-person, in-depth consultation and possible diagnosis. Also, if you're a student, especially in university, there are often very affordable or totally free options available. Otherwise, I would save up for a couple sessions. Some of the best money I've ever spent was on improving my mental health and anger issues :). Worth every bit. You don't deserve to continue living with irrational fears when you could be doing so much more and better with your time and energy. Plus, you're still so young and it's always a good idea to address these kinds of things sooner rather than later, and to get it out of the way. It won't be easy, but you're gonna be alright. Just know you’re not alone - that I've been there, that plenty of people have been, and yes, it's a bit terrifying, but then you finally get over that bridge and it's better than it ever was before :). If you haven’t been able to solve this on your own throughout all of these years, it’s time to turn to a qualified expert whose very job it is to crack the code. Lots of love to you. ♡

I would not recommend watching ANTM most of the girls cry if their hair is cut or coloured so it wouldn't be a positive watching experience

[Glitch]

I would not recommend watching ANTM most of the girls cry if their hair is cut or coloured so it wouldn't be a positive watching experience

I'm very familiar with ANTM and it almost always turns into a positive exp where they fall in love with it pretty quickly! Lots of dealing with fear of haircuts and conquering it. With that being said, again, I'm not a therapist and still recommend a professional opinion on which steps to take. :p

[Kathie]

While exposure therapy may be relatively popular it really isn't for everyone. For example, when using exposure therapy to treat trauma (e.g. PTSD) 60-90% of people don't finish the therapeutic program because of how distressing the process can be.

I most certainly wouldnt try it by myself. As you might end up reinforcing rather than impairing the emotional reaction.

A therapist is most definitely your best bet. They will determine what treatment plan would be best for you.

If they determine that exposure therapy is a good option they will systematically guide and support you through the process while closely monitoring your progress and adjusting the treatment as needed.

[Glitch]

While exposure therapy may be relatively popular it really isn't for everyone. For example, when using exposure therapy to treat trauma (e.g. PTSD) 60-90% of people don't finish the therapeutic program because of how distressing the process can be.

I most certainly wouldnt try it by myself. As you might end up reinforcing rather than impairing the emotional reaction.

A therapist is most definitely your best bet. They will determine what treatment plan would be best for you.

If they determine that exposure therapy is a good option they will systematically guide and support you through the process while closely monitoring your progress and adjusting the treatment as needed.

^ 100%!! Best of luck :flower: