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View Full Version : Has anyone ever succeeded in talking someone out of a haircut?



aragorn
November 13th, 2008, 10:12 PM
I see a lot of haircut forums posted and I wonder about people trying to convince people not to cut their hair. Has anyone actually succeeded in talking someone out of a haircut? If so how?

I don't even bother trying to talk a girl out of cutting her hair. If they announce that they are going to or that they want to, I don't see any point in trying to convince them not to. I seriously doubt they would listen to me if they've made up their own minds. I mean, if they ask me "Do you think I should cut my hair?" I say no, but I don't go much further than that.

Part of it is I also don't want to come out of the long hair lover "closet." When people find that out about me they think it's weird. Most of my guy friends are like "who cares about what a girl's hair looks like?"

Lamb
November 13th, 2008, 10:16 PM
Most of my guy friends are like "who cares about what a girl's hair looks like?"

That sounds refreshing, so many girls/women are sold the "boys/men only like long hair" line.

Guess the reason why people here tend to try to persuade other posters not to cut their hair is that said posters ask for it - as in "help me resist the urge to get a haircut". That's what I'd expect on a long hair board. :shrug:

Arielle8960
November 13th, 2008, 10:28 PM
I've talked several of my friends out of bad hairstyle choices (really awful bangs, for instance), but only when they were already on the fence. My thought is, it is their hair and their mind. But if they ask my opinion, or if I've already experienced the style being considered, I'll usually weigh in. They can take it or leave it, and I don't mind either way.

I've also seen people on the forum trying to talk someone out of a drastic cut in response to a specific event or mood. I have no idea how successful that is. I think people mostly want to be supportive and offer their insights. Still, one is more likely to get a certain theme in responses when posting about haircut at LHC.

purplebubba
November 13th, 2008, 10:52 PM
If you ever see those posts by people who aren't sure you can add to it the two week rule.
Tell them to think it over for two weeks and if they still think they should change then they probably want it.

Edit: This way it's less about what you want and shifts the focus back onto what they are thinking and feeling.

Edit: I haven't said this in a long time but I used to suggest people make a pro vs con list to help them decide. They can then write all the reasons for and against either the long hair or the shorter hair. Then see how they really feel about it.

Calanthe
November 13th, 2008, 11:00 PM
I wouldn't try to talk somebody out of it. If asked, I try to offer advice, nothing more. In the end, it's this person's head and hair, not mine, so it's their decision.

The two-week-rule is very good advice. When in doubt, wait for two weeks. I wish I had known this more than 20 years ago and acted accordingly. Would have saved me a lot of tears ;).

Bene
November 13th, 2008, 11:06 PM
one thing i've noticed about hair cutting... like, back in the day, if i asked male friends if i should cut my hair short, they would all say "no, it looks better long", but if i asked a female friend, they would all say "SURE, go for it, it'll look so cute!!!"



the one female friend who told me not to, i asked her why other chicks would encourage me to cut my hair, she said "because they don't want the competition"


food for thought....

Kuchen
November 13th, 2008, 11:45 PM
Hi Aragorn,

Are you growing your own hair long? Just curious.

Stevy
November 14th, 2008, 04:06 AM
No, but I bet a lot of f*t*sh*sts have had fun trying.

Less fun for the person stuck talking to them, of course.

Laila23
November 14th, 2008, 05:21 AM
Yes I have. I just explained to my friend that her beautiful hair is an accomplishment and not something everyone has and you should keep it.

aragorn
November 14th, 2008, 07:24 AM
On this forum, it might be a little different. I was more referring to situations outside this forum. Though the responses so far are interesting.

renarok
November 14th, 2008, 09:35 AM
I tried to talk my sister out of a haircut yesterday. She thinks because her hair is thinning that she needs short layers around her face. I think longer hair suits her face.

jojo
November 14th, 2008, 09:43 AM
The way i see it, i can advise but they do what they want to do anyway.

Samikha
November 14th, 2008, 10:43 AM
I don't try unless I know the style and can tell it's gonna be disastrous. I have my tastes, other people have theirs, and they are welcome to it :)

A friend told me a while ago she'd eventually be going very short hair-wise, because she dyes and hasn't the patience for growing it out, and her hair is in a chin-length bob anyway. I didn't really say anything about it, but if she mentions it again I'll try to nudge her in the other direction. She hasn't the features for it, honestly. She looks beautiful with her hair long, lovely curls, and the 'do she has now is in my opinion less flattering for her. If she asks me straight out, I will tell her what I think.

But it's her decision. If people ask me for advice on haircuts or makeup, I try to keep their needs in mind. I wouldn't want people telling me to straighten my hair or use more product or get a cut I would hate. The key to giving good advice is to remember other people are not you.

Isblå
November 14th, 2008, 10:54 AM
I wouldn't do that. I will be supportive either way. I will give truthful positive feedback on things I like (this applies to everything, not just hair). This might of course influence people but say my friend was all exited about getting a new pixie cut, I would share her exitement, and I would be sincere. If asked my opinion on what to do with hair or other stuff, I will be honest but I won't be pushy.

eaglefeather71
November 14th, 2008, 11:07 AM
Well....yes and no. I have talked one of my 14yo DDS out of cutting her BSL all the way up to Pixi mainly because it was so Beautiful and healthy. But, in order to do that I offered to cut some layers in it, cut it in a V hemline and give her a dye job. It looks good, but not near as good as it did before all that. I think I am going to talk to her about Henna because the commercial dye really dried it out and the color she had was auburn with a 2" black hemline.

My other 14yo DD has a short bob longer in the front than back and she's working on growing it out. She got in a mood recently where she wanted bangs to help keep her hair out of her face during her art projects. Her hair is just like mine and when I cut bangs, I ended up with a big curly mustach on my forehead. I reminded her of that because she wanted stick straight thick bangs and that just isn't possible with out hair type unless you use so much heat and product that you risk ruining your hair. She quickly changed her mind while looking at my hair when I got caught in the rain the other day :laugh: my bangs were all over the place!

But other than that, I wouldn't try to talk someone out of wanting a hair cut. If I loved their hair, I would tell them, but leave it at that.

heidi w.
November 14th, 2008, 11:12 AM
Yes.

But usually because they really didn't want to cut it, and often enough were getting pressure from others around them.

Also, if the individual mentions donating to LoL, I also get a little more assertive at least explaining, and now that there are better alternatives, suggesting those instead.

heidi w.

harpgal
November 14th, 2008, 11:21 AM
I see a lot of haircut forums posted and I wonder about people trying to convince people not to cut their hair. Has anyone actually succeeded in talking someone out of a haircut? If so how?Aragorn, has anyone ever talked you out of cutting your hair? If so, how did they do it? I mean, after all, you are here to learn how to grow your hair to long and healthy lengths....right?

Honey39
November 14th, 2008, 11:46 AM
To be honest, I think age plays a factor as well - but not how you might think! If someone is in their teen years and WANT a drastic change to short, then I would probably say go for it. Hair grows pretty quickly, and it's actually kind of cool to experience mad styles and weird colours, lol. So if someone has an itch to cut at that age, I wouldn't try too hard to talk them out of it. If someone were my age (nearly 40) and were a bit discouraged, I would be more likely to talk about the goal they wanted to achieve and how this might be a blip.

Weird really - maybe it's because I had lots of mad styles and shaved bits when I was younger that I can understand that desire to experiment and play around with your hair when you're young. Never really thought about it before, lol.

ladyfairington
November 14th, 2008, 12:11 PM
not really.

then again, people look at me and know i'm going to tell them not to cut their hair.

i think that long hair should be universal, and that the world would be happier if 1) everyone had long, classic length hair, and 2) if we all sat down and had a nice cuppa tea with a wedge of cheese. :cheese: <3!

Solange
November 14th, 2008, 01:01 PM
I didn't *talk* someone out of getting a haircut, but I once saw a young girl at Wal-Mart who was there to get a hair cut, but decided against it when she saw my hair and decided she wanted to grow hers longer instead. Awwwww.

Raven69
November 14th, 2008, 01:13 PM
Actually, I had a couple of friends that had long hair, one to their waist and the other past TB length. It inspired me and that is what I wanted to do. When I was 16 I had BSL and by 17 it was a few inches short of being waist length...then I joined the military and they chopped it off. So when ever I have a friend that wants to get their hair cut (they don't plan on letting it grow long...well at least not past their waist anyways), I try to encourage them to leave their hair alone. The guys I come into contact with almost always react to my hair when they see how long it is. Never have I recieved a negative comment from a guy....well I take that back - there's this ex-co-worker who is really immature but he never disappoints when you need a laugh. He gave me the comment "have you ever...on your hair when going to the bathroom".

On the forum though, if they are posting it on the forum then they already made up their mind, and in my opinion they are trying to see 1. how many people will respond to it. 2. how many will try to talk them out of it. Whether or not they are going to cut, is up to them. I do know one thing: if they cut it short (going from waist to like shoulder length or shorter) they will regret it!) It infuriates me that the makeovers they do on tv, make it seem that to dramatically change your appearance - you automically have to chop it all off. Which is SO not true! Instead of chopping it off - try a new updo...there's plenty of ideas on this forum for an updo, some quick and easy and others more complicated.

Here's a thought...how long did it take you to grow your hair to its current length? Now think how long its going to take to grow it back that length or longer - if you cut it now, all the up to your ears?!

sneakybea
November 14th, 2008, 02:49 PM
No, but I've never tried. If they asked my opinion, I might say how much I liked it long, just in case they thought their hair was unappreciated. But if they want to cut it, that's their decision, and I wouldn't want to be disrespectful.
Edited to add: I think you have to put the shoe on the other foot. You (generic you) wouldn't like it if they kept nagging you to cut your hair, so you shouldn't nag them not to.

CaityBear
November 14th, 2008, 08:27 PM
I talked my mom out of a haircut. lol She's always had short hair and I thought she should start growing her hair out and it took some convincing but she decided to grow her hair out. It much be between chin and shoulder length now. She has to get it evened out though because she always had it layered. But I think she looks good with longer hair and she likes the fact if her hair is frustrating her she can just put it in a ponytail (since she can actually do that now).

With that said, I've never talked a long hair out of it. None of my friends have ever had long hair before so I have nobody to convince.

aragorn
November 14th, 2008, 08:43 PM
Aragorn, has anyone ever talked you out of cutting your hair? If so, how did they do it? I mean, after all, you are here to learn how to grow your hair to long and healthy lengths....right?

No, no one's ever really talked me out of cutting my hair. Usually it's the opposite. However, as an actor (non-professional) I have had roles where I was asked not to cut my hair. So when people bug me to cut my hair, I usually say "It's for a role." That used to shut most of them up, but now that I'm out of college, it isn't working so well. I've also played parts where I was asked to cut my hair.

In either case, because I act in non-profit volunteer organizations it would be pretty easy to refuse, though I don't. I've met a lot of actors who refuse to cut their hair. Mostly guys, actually.

As an actor it's usually better to have longer hair as your usual look because it's easier for the director to ask you to cut your hair than to ask you grow it out or worry about getting a wig.

Kind of the long answer to your question. No, I've never really had someone talk me out of getting a haircut.

Emichiee
November 14th, 2008, 08:48 PM
My sister has waist length hair, she sometimes gets bored with it and thinks of a cut. Thats when I come in, but just because I know she would regret it so bad.
So I think I would only try to convince cases like that not to cut.

Drynwhyl
November 16th, 2008, 05:13 AM
My sister has past-shoulder lenght hair, which is very thick (like mine), and she can't really make any kind of hairstyle with it. And it's kind of dried out. She wanted to cut it off, but I just know she won't be satisfied. I talked to into letting it grow and taking better care of it, hopefully she'll succed :)

EdG
November 16th, 2008, 07:58 AM
The other day, two cashiers in the company cafeteria were talking about where to get a haircut. I walked up, paid for my lunch, and remarked in my best deadpan "you know, hair doesn't need to be cut". :D

I'm not sure if my humor had any effect. :hmm:
Ed

Unofficial_Rose
November 16th, 2008, 11:46 AM
one thing i've noticed about hair cutting... like, back in the day, if i asked male friends if i should cut my hair short, they would all say "no, it looks better long", but if i asked a female friend, they would all say "SURE, go for it, it'll look so cute!!!"



the one female friend who told me not to, i asked her why other chicks would encourage me to cut my hair, she said "because they don't want the competition"


food for thought....

Yes, I've always encountered after a short hair cut:
a) approval from some women "Oh it looks much better"
b) disappointment expressed by various men "You cut your hair" followed by accusing look :p

Is it just this or do women think short cuts are "chic" because some of us believe the guff that magazines contain, whereas men are often more indifferent to fashion? :hmm:

aragorn
November 16th, 2008, 09:30 PM
I don't know why men and women react to female haircuts differently. But there again, I don't know many men who really care about women's hair anyway. That's why a lot of people think I'm weird because I do care, but I try and keep it a secret for that very reason.