How do I brush out my thick, coarse, snarly hair in the middle in the back?

[First Timer]

After having had short hair my whole life, I now have hair down to the middle of my lower back. It's in good condition; I assume it's a little damaged from having been colored, but my ends look great. I use tons of deep conditioner, I always air dry it, and I don't use any styling products, tools, or accessories. When I used a hand mirror to look at it in the back for the first time since probably April 2020 (I haven't been going anywhere or seeing anyone, so I've been pretty much ignoring it), I was VERY dismayed to see that the center maybe 5 inches or so of my hair back there is not getting fully brushed out, with the result being that it looks shorter than the hair around it; it's naturally wavy, with ends that curl, but when brushed out it straightens considerably. Worse, that center strip looks disheveled, like just that piece just got out of bed. I practically dislocated my shoulders trying to brush that patch out, with no luck so far. I can brush the bottom from underneath, but my hair is way too thick for that to affect the visible part. I've tried grabbing that chunk and pulling it around in front to brush, but all that lets me brush is the bottom foot or, so which helps with the length issue a little bit, but makes it look like I have a big snarl in the very middle where it hasn't been brushed.

Can someone please please PLEASE tell me what the trick is to getting thick, coarse, snarly hair fully brushed out in the middle in the back?

In case it matters, I'm using a brush with standard plastic bristles. The plastic post type brushes snag in my hair and can't brush through. Boar bristles aren't stiff enough, and just skate over the surface. Are there brushes for long hair with longer bristles and longer handles?

[Eastbound&Down]

After having had short hair my whole life, I now have hair down to the middle of my lower back. It's in good condition; I assume it's a little damaged from having been colored, but my ends look great. I use tons of deep conditioner, I always air dry it, and I don't use any styling products, tools, or accessories. When I used a hand mirror to look at it in the back for the first time since probably April 2020 (I haven't been going anywhere or seeing anyone, so I've been pretty much ignoring it), I was VERY dismayed to see that the center maybe 5 inches or so of my hair back there is not getting fully brushed out, with the result being that it looks shorter than the hair around it; it's naturally wavy, with ends that curl, but when brushed out it straightens considerably. Worse, that center strip looks disheveled, like just that piece just got out of bed. I practically dislocated my shoulders trying to brush that patch out, with no luck so far. I can brush the bottom from underneath, but my hair is way too thick for that to affect the visible part. I've tried grabbing that chunk and pulling it around in front to brush, but all that lets me brush is the bottom foot or, so which helps with the length issue a little bit, but makes it look like I have a big snarl in the very middle where it hasn't been brushed.

Can someone please please PLEASE tell me what the trick is to getting thick, coarse, snarly hair fully brushed out in the middle in the back?

In case it matters, I'm using a brush with standard plastic bristles. The plastic post type brushes snag in my hair and can't brush through. Boar bristles aren't stiff enough, and just skate over the surface. Are there brushes for long hair with longer bristles and longer handles?

Ok, well first off, welcome to the forum! I would suggest you break your hair into sections when brushing, and pulling the hair forward over you shoulder when brushing out each section. Try to avoid brushing when wet as this can make breakage more prevalent. I would also look into getting a "tangle teezer", they sell them online and at Sally's. That is my holy grail brush and I've been using it exclusively for years. Boar bristle brushes typically aren't used for detangling hair, they are used to distribute the hair's natural oils through the length of the hair.

[First Timer]

Ok, well first off, welcome to the forum! I would suggest you break your hair into sections when brushing, and pulling the hair forward over you shoulder when brushing out each section. Try to avoid brushing when wet as this can make breakage more prevalent. I would also look into getting a "tangle teezer", they sell them online and at Sally's. That is my holy grail brush and I've been using it exclusively for years. Boar bristle brushes typically aren't used for detangling hair, they are used to distribute the hair's natural oils through the length of the hair.


Thank you for the welcome! :-)

My hair doesn't really divide into sections; you can try to grab a chunk, but all the hair under and around it will just lift off with it! It's wild and coarse like brambles. As I mentioned above, pulling it forward isn't helping, because the part I need to brush is higher up than the stuff that pulls forward.

I've never brushed it wet! I don't have any breakage that I can see, not even at the ends.

I looked up the tangle teezer; I couldn't get that brush 1 inch through any part of my hair under any circumstances, lol! I'm not looking to detangle my hair, counterintuitively it almost never tangles, just to get it from disheveled to smooth, in that one area where I can't either brush down from the top or reach by pulling forward. I've never seen anyone else walking around with an unbrushed clump in the middle of their hair, so there has to be a way!

[Brethil]

Maybe a basic question, but are you twisting your head to one shoulder when you are brushing the back of your head? I know my arms are a bit more flexible than average, but I can easily run my hand down the back of my head and all the way down my hair without any contortions whatsoever when my chin is pointed at my shoulder. Hair is pulled forward over the opposite shoulder.

[Alexandrina]

Maybe a basic question, but are you twisting your head to one shoulder when you are brushing the back of your head? I know my arms are a bit more flexible than average, but I can easily run my hand down the back of my head and all the way down my hair without any contortions whatsoever when my chin is pointed at my shoulder. Hair is pulled forward over the opposite shoulder.

Yeah for sure, I divide my hair into two, over each shoulder, I can run my hands from the back of my head along the whole length easily just by tilting my head slightly.

[Eastbound&Down]

Thank you for the welcome! :-)

My hair doesn't really divide into sections; you can try to grab a chunk, but all the hair under and around it will just lift off with it! It's wild and coarse like brambles. As I mentioned above, pulling it forward isn't helping, because the part I need to brush is higher up than the stuff that pulls forward.

I've never brushed it wet! I don't have any breakage that I can see, not even at the ends.

I looked up the tangle teezer; I couldn't get that brush 1 inch through any part of my hair under any circumstances, lol! I'm not looking to detangle my hair, counterintuitively it almost never tangles, just to get it from disheveled to smooth, in that one area where I can't either brush down from the top or reach by pulling forward. I've never seen anyone else walking around with an unbrushed clump in the middle of their hair, so there has to be a way!

My hair is also thick and it works perfectly on my hair, it might be worth a shot. You can also try oiling your hair to help with brushing. You should detangle from the bottom up to work out any mats that may have built up. Good luck!

[bokeh]

Welcome First Timer. I also have coarse hair but I haven't experienced the problem that you are describing although my hair also almost never tangles. I'm guessing that your hair is more curly than my wavy hair. You didn't mention if you comb your hair. I use a wide toothed comb and I make sure to comb both from the top and from underneath. I do comb my hair both when wet or dry once or twice a day as needed or when putting it up. Sometimes I even comb in the shower to distribute conditioner. I almost never brush my hair but when I do the brush only gets through the surface of my hair.

[Brethil]

Yeah for sure, I divide my hair into two, over each shoulder, I can run my hands from the back of my head along the whole length easily just by tilting my head slightly.

Just to be absolutely sure, you are TURNING your head sideways, (ie head stays vertical while the chin moves to the shoulder) not TILTING your head (chin stays in front while one ear goes to the shoulder)? I am just double checking because when I TURN my head, the nape of my neck is almost over my opposite shoulder and I can get at the hair quite easily. My hair texture is totally different from yours though, so maybe this isn't as helpful?

[GoddesJourney]

I have had the big dreadlocks looking thing in the back of my head before, usually at the nape. I have since learned my lesson about lazy detangling.

That said, there are different ways to approach knots and tangles. For example, our washer sometimes weaves all the arms and legs of the laundry together. I have seen other people untangle it the hard way, but I just grab one article of clothing and literally shake it free, which gives the rest less complication. The next one is easier to shake free. The rest just sort of fall apart after that.

What I'm getting at here is that whatever big clump you have back there doesn't sound like it's responding to whatever you're doing, which is making it a ton of work. Try other angles. Sometimes I fine that trying to pull a brush through something just tightens the tangles. If this occurs, I just hold the whole thing with one hand and pull a few strands straight up and see if the slide out. If so, I repeat the process until the whole thing is loose enough to pull it all apart in big chunks and just brush it. Some things need to be brushed from the bottom. Some things brush out best all at once. Some things need to be more or less dissected.

Anyway, since people already gave you good advice on how to reach the affected hair, I thought maybe I'd share what I've learned about huge rat's nests on my head in case you haven't tried different methods yet

[First Timer]

Maybe a basic question, but are you twisting your head to one shoulder when you are brushing the back of your head? I know my arms are a bit more flexible than average, but I can easily run my hand down the back of my head and all the way down my hair without any contortions whatsoever when my chin is pointed at my shoulder. Hair is pulled forward over the opposite shoulder.

I can run my hand down the back of my head all the way down my hair no matter which direction my chin is pointed, with the hair pull forward. In order to get the problematic piece of hair to be brushed out and flat, though, it needs to be brushed when it's flat, it doesn't work no matter how I try to poke the brush if my hair is in a clump over my shoulder, and the part that I can brush flat against my upper chest is lower down than the problem area.

[First Timer]

My hair is also thick and it works perfectly on my hair, it might be worth a shot. You can also try oiling your hair to help with brushing. You should detangle from the bottom up to work out any mats that may have built up. Good luck!

The problem isn't that my hair is thick, it's that it's coarse and grabby. I hugged a lady in my church once, and my hair pulled a bobby pin right out of HER hair… and then it took us several minutes to get it dug out, lol!

I'm not trying to detangle my hair, I'm trying to figure out how to reach a part of my hair that I can't currently reach and get it brushed smooth like the rest of my hair. :-)

[First Timer]

Welcome First Timer. I also have coarse hair but I haven't experienced the problem that you are describing although my hair also almost never tangles. I'm guessing that your hair is more curly than my wavy hair. You didn't mention if you comb your hair. I use a wide toothed comb and I make sure to comb both from the top and from underneath. I do comb my hair both when wet or dry once or twice a day as needed or when putting it up. Sometimes I even comb in the shower to distribute conditioner. I almost never brush my hair but when I do the brush only gets through the surface of my hair.

Thank you for the welcome! :-)

I'm glad to see someone else who has coarse hair that rarely tangles; so often people assume that coarse hair must be extra-tangly.

My hair unbrushed is fairly wavy, and curls at the ends. I can't get any kind of comb through it unless it's wet. I brush mine from the top and from underneath just like you do except with a brush instead of a comb. I also use a comb in the shower to distribute conditioner; I don't even know how else I could get it worked throughout my hair. I have to spread my hair out in order to get everything brushed even with top and bottom brushing combined.

Is that your photo with the lovely braid? Do you by any chance sleep with your hair braided? What happens if you sleep with it unbraided? I'm a very restless sleeper, and can't sleep on braids, so when I wake up my hair is just WILD! I can brush it back flat quickly enough… Except that ONE patch!

[lapushka]

Can I ask you what texture your hair is? Is it wavy, curly or smooth? Because that matters.

Textured hair you only need to detangle when wet & full of conditioner. Do *not* brush wavy or curly hair at all when it's dry or you'll be asking for trouble.

Ooooops, my bad, now I read the post immediately above mine, and you answered that already.

Yeah, detangle when it's wash day!

[First Timer]

Just to be absolutely sure, you are TURNING your head sideways, (ie head stays vertical while the chin moves to the shoulder) not TILTING your head (chin stays in front while one ear goes to the shoulder)? I am just double checking because when I TURN my head, the nape of my neck is almost over my opposite shoulder and I can get at the hair quite easily. My hair texture is totally different from yours though, so maybe this isn't as helpful?

No matter how I twist, turn or tilt my head, I can't reach the patch that I'm trying to brush, which is well BELOW the nape of the neck; the hair at the nape of the neck gets brushed when I brush straight down from the top of my head... but I can only brush down so far. When my hair was shorter, I could brush it at a little bit of an angle, and that brought my hair up enough to reach this area… But now, my hair is way too long and heavy to be able to do that anymore. I cringe to think what my hair must've looked like from the back for the past year!

[First Timer]

I have had the big dreadlocks looking thing in the back of my head before, usually at the nape. I have since learned my lesson about lazy detangling.

That said, there are different ways to approach knots and tangles. For example, our washer sometimes weaves all the arms and legs of the laundry together. I have seen other people untangle it the hard way, but I just grab one article of clothing and literally shake it free, which gives the rest less complication. The next one is easier to shake free. The rest just sort of fall apart after that.

What I'm getting at here is that whatever big clump you have back there doesn't sound like it's responding to whatever you're doing, which is making it a ton of work. Try other angles. Sometimes I fine that trying to pull a brush through something just tightens the tangles. If this occurs, I just hold the whole thing with one hand and pull a few strands straight up and see if the slide out. If so, I repeat the process until the whole thing is loose enough to pull it all apart in big chunks and just brush it. Some things need to be brushed from the bottom. Some things brush out best all at once. Some things need to be more or less dissected.

Anyway, since people already gave you good advice on how to reach the affected hair, I thought maybe I'd share what I've learned about huge rat's nests on my head in case you haven't tried different methods yet

I'm trying to imagine what the dreadlocks thing looks like… I don't think I've ever seen that on anyone. Certainly not on my head! I very rarely get tangles, and even then it's only ONE tangle at a time. The area I'm trying to brush doesn't have tangled hair, it's just disheveled and needs to be brushed down firmly to have the same length and texture as the rest of my hair. I don't have a tangling issue, I have an issue that all the rest of my hair except that one spot is brushed firmly so it lays down smooth with a very flat wave, and then I have this one piece that has my natural texture and just looks awful.

I'm not sure how to describe the problem any more clearly, so maybe it's just that no one else here has this issue?

[First Timer]

Can I ask you what texture your hair is? Is it wavy, curly or smooth? Because that matters.

Textured hair you only need to detangle when wet & full of conditioner. Do *not* brush wavy or curly hair at all when it's dry or you'll be asking for trouble.

Ooooops, my bad, now I read the post immediately above mine, and you answered that already.

Yeah, detangle when it's wash day!


The natural texture of my hair is pretty wavy and then curls at the end. My hair isn't EVER tangled, so I never have to detangle it. The only way to have my hair look attractive is to brush it; the hair that's properly brushed looks perfect… This one patch that I can't get to looks terrible!

[enting]

If I'm understanding correctly, you're looking to have your brushed out texture everywhere and there's one spot that stays in its natural texture because you can't brush it straight down?

Would an extra long handled brush help?
Would brushing upside down help get to that area or would that just make everything more unruly?

Alternately, would you want to lean into the natural texture of your hair everywhere so that one chunk doesn't stand out?

[lapushka]

The natural texture of my hair is pretty wavy and then curls at the end. My hair isn't EVER tangled, so I never have to detangle it. The only way to have my hair look attractive is to brush it; the hair that's properly brushed looks perfect… This one patch that I can't get to looks terrible!

Um yeah but snarly means tangled, right? :hmm: Now I'm confused. :lol:

[bokeh]

Thank you for the welcome! :-)

I'm glad to see someone else who has coarse hair that rarely tangles; so often people assume that coarse hair must be extra-tangly.

My hair unbrushed is fairly wavy, and curls at the ends. I can't get any kind of comb through it unless it's wet. I brush mine from the top and from underneath just like you do except with a brush instead of a comb. I also use a comb in the shower to distribute conditioner; I don't even know how else I could get it worked throughout my hair. I have to spread my hair out in order to get everything brushed even with top and bottom brushing combined.

Is that your photo with the lovely braid? Do you by any chance sleep with your hair braided? What happens if you sleep with it unbraided? I'm a very restless sleeper, and can't sleep on braids, so when I wake up my hair is just WILD! I can brush it back flat quickly enough… Except that ONE patch!
Your problem must be frustrating because you know that you like how your hair styles with a brush but just that one spot won't smooth out! I have no doubt that you will get it figured out. Just don't give up and try everything! Do you have someone who could work on that spot for you?

That photo is me and I do sleep with my hair braided but I also wear a sleep cap over it. I sit on the edge of the bed and quickly and carelessly braid all the way to the end. I don't tie it off at all but just stuff it into a satin lined scrub cap. I'm also a very restless sleeper and this works for me. Before the sleep cap I also woke up with WILD hair and I'm sure it was getting damaged during the night from my tossing and turning.

[Belle03]

Hello, I would first use a wooden comb on the hair. Get a product specifically for detangling to help soften the section and loosen the hair. You could also get a metal handle "rat tail comb" and use the handle to break through the hair. My hair is 4b kinky, and using the wooden comb to detangle works wonders.

[neko_kawaii]

Maybe use your shower comb on that spot for a few passes and then switch to the brush?

A sleep cap is another option to reduce the appearance of that slept on spot.

[Iyashikei]

Have you tried finger brushing? At least you'd get through your hair that way.

[GoddesJourney]

There is a possibility that that section of your hair is simply more curly than the rest. My husband's hair is a combination of wavy and straight. The wavy sections and straight sections behave differently to where he decided he wasn't willing to deal with it at the short but long enough to be a pain length that he wanted to try. Maybe that section of your hair will even out a bit as it grows. Mine looks straighter and straighter from the weight pulling it down as I let it grow. I'm not sure if this is your issue though.

[First Timer]

If I'm understanding correctly, you're looking to have your brushed out texture everywhere and there's one spot that stays in its natural texture because you can't brush it straight down?

Would an extra long handled brush help?
Would brushing upside down help get to that area or would that just make everything more unruly?

Alternately, would you want to lean into the natural texture of your hair everywhere so that one chunk doesn't stand out?


I think you mostly have it, but it's not just that that one patch has my natural texture, is that that patch is wildly disheveled when I get out of bed, which makes it not only stand out, but it makes that section of hair a good 6 inches shorter than the hair around it that has been brushed out.

A brush with a longer handle would be very helpful, is there a good one that you can recommend?

I do back brush my hair all around, but unfortunately it's far too thick for the brush to go all the way through, or even close.

I don't have a problem with my natural texture per se, but what I can't stand is to have my hair in pieces and strings, rather then being a homogenous unit, if you see what I mean.

[First Timer]

Um yeah but snarly means tangled, right? :hmm: Now I'm confused. :lol:

No, snarly means that it just sticks together, because it's so coarse, and wavy. Until it got to be longer than about a foot, I could brush it straight up in the air, and it would stay that way, with no styling products or pins or anything, pretty much indefinitely. Counterintuitively, because of the way it all sticks together, it never moves around enough to form tangles!

[GoddesJourney]

I would recommend then sleeping with your hair all pulled up above your pillow. It sounds like you pretty well stay on your back. I don't have a long handled brush recommendation but this may help you avoid the problem to begin with. I used to sleep with mine straight up like a troll doll before I started sleep braiding. Even my braid gets thrown over the top of my pillow to avoid lying on it. The trade off is it wears down the nape hair a bit more.

[First Timer]

Your problem must be frustrating because you know that you like how your hair styles with a brush but just that one spot won't smooth out! I have no doubt that you will get it figured out. Just don't give up and try everything! Do you have someone who could work on that spot for you?

That photo is me and I do sleep with my hair braided but I also wear a sleep cap over it. I sit on the edge of the bed and quickly and carelessly braid all the way to the end. I don't tie it off at all but just stuff it into a satin lined scrub cap. I'm also a very restless sleeper and this works for me. Before the sleep cap I also woke up with WILD hair and I'm sure it was getting damaged during the night from my tossing and turning.

Frustrating doesn't begin to describe it! I'm going to keep after it, because my only other alternative is to cut enough of the hair off that I CAN brush it through, and I'd rather not have to do that!

Can you give me a website or a brand name or anything for the sleep cap that you have been using? Because you have similar hair, something that works well for you might work well for me, and at least partially solve my problem!

[lapushka]

Would there be *any* chance to not brush dry, and try and deal with your natural texture? Have you ever tried that? :) I'm not sure that that is what you want, but I'm just saying it might be a way out of this, the patch might magically work with you rather than against you. Sometimes it takes something like this to wake us up, and to realize we have been dealing with our hair all wrong. Not saying you are, because you do you, but I know that working against the texture can most times bring on plenty of challenges.

[First Timer]

Hello, I would first use a wooden comb on the hair. Get a product specifically for detangling to help soften the section and loosen the hair. You could also get a metal handle "rat tail comb" and use the handle to break through the hair. My hair is 4b kinky, and using the wooden comb to detangle works wonders.

I don't have any tangles, and unfortunately I can't get any kind of comb even an inch through my hair unless it's wet. My problem is that the whole rest of my hair is brushed down firmly, but I can't reach this one spot to do it there, so it stays wild and disheveled the way it is when I wake up every day... Which means that the middle of the back of my hair is about 6 inches shorter than the rest of my hair!

[First Timer]

Maybe use your shower comb on that spot for a few passes and then switch to the brush?

A sleep cap is another option to reduce the appearance of that slept on spot.

Unfortunately, I can't get any comb through my hair unless it's fully wet. Someone else mentioned a sleep cap also, so I want to look into that as an option to keep my hair from being so wild every day when I get up, and hopefully save it some damage as well. Do you know when a good brands?

[First Timer]

Have you tried finger brushing? At least you'd get through your hair that way.

Unfortunately, I can only get my fingers through my hair when it's been thoroughly brushed… And then, they leave big, permanent "tracks" in my hair, which is part of what I'm trying to avoid! I want my hair to be brushed smoothly into one solid mass... and it is, except for that one spot!

[First Timer]

There is a possibility that that section of your hair is simply more curly than the rest. My husband's hair is a combination of wavy and straight. The wavy sections and straight sections behave differently to where he decided he wasn't willing to deal with it at the short but long enough to be a pain length that he wanted to try. Maybe that section of your hair will even out a bit as it grows. Mine looks straighter and straighter from the weight pulling it down as I let it grow. I'm not sure if this is your issue though.

I can see how that could be a problem for some people, but no, it's not that it's a different texture, it's that it isn't brushed. If someone else brushes out that spot for me, it looks identical to all the rest of my hair. If I'm going to keep my hair this long, I have to somehow figure out how to brush ALL of it…

[First Timer]

I would recommend then sleeping with your hair all pulled up above your pillow. It sounds like you pretty well stay on your back. I don't have a long handled brush recommendation but this may help you avoid the problem to begin with. I used to sleep with mine straight up like a troll doll before I started sleep braiding. Even my braid gets thrown over the top of my pillow to avoid lying on it. The trade off is it wears down the nape hair a bit more.

No, unfortunately, I'm a stomach sleeper, and I thrash around wildly all night long; my hair covers my face, gets wrapped around my neck, it's a constant battle… And when I get up, it looks like I've been sleeping in a wind tunnel, lol!

[First Timer]

Would there be *any* chance to not brush dry, and try and deal with your natural texture? Have you ever tried that? :) I'm not sure that that is what you want, but I'm just saying it might be a way out of this, the patch might magically work with you rather than against you. Sometimes it takes something like this to wake us up, and to realize we have been dealing with our hair all wrong. Not saying you are, because you do you, but I know that working against the texture can most times bring on plenty of challenges.

I hear you… but no. When I wake up… imagine the worst bedhead you've ever seen, times about 1000, and then multiplied by hair that's a few inches from my tailbone. It's not a matter of wave or curl, it's a disheveled mess, sticking up, sticking out... It's not charmingly touseled, it looks like I've been sleeping in a ditch. I don't even care that much how much wave it ends up with, I just want to get up and brush my hair in the morning, and have it look like it all belongs on the same head, you know?

[foreveryours]

I think you mostly have it, but it's not just that that one patch has my natural texture, is that that patch is wildly disheveled when I get out of bed, which makes it not only stand out, but it makes that section of hair a good 6 inches shorter than the hair around it that has been brushed out.

A brush with a longer handle would be very helpful, is there a good one that you can recommend?

I do back brush my hair all around, but unfortunately it's far too thick for the brush to go all the way through, or even close.

I don't have a problem with my natural texture per se, but what I can't stand is to have my hair in pieces and strings, rather then being a homogenous unit, if you see what I mean.

You could easily make one yourself by resizing the handle of a brush you like to fit a section of PVC pipe. Add a couple of screws for a secure attachment.

[bokeh]

Frustrating doesn't begin to describe it! I'm going to keep after it, because my only other alternative is to cut enough of the hair off that I CAN brush it through, and I'd rather not have to do that!

Can you give me a website or a brand name or anything for the sleep cap that you have been using? Because you have similar hair, something that works well for you might work well for me, and at least partially solve my problem!I got my satin lined scrub hats from Scrub Hat Studio but the lady that runs the shop is very sick so it's closed. There are lots of silk lined scrub hats for sale on Etsy. Mine can be tightened at the nape of my neck and they stay on very good. I had to try a couple of different caps before I finally found the ones that work for me with my big head and energetic tossing and turning as I sleep.


I hear you… but no. When I wake up… imagine the worst bedhead you've ever seen, times about 1000, and then multiplied by hair that's a few inches from my tailbone. It's not a matter of wave or curl, it's a disheveled mess, sticking up, sticking out... It's not charmingly touseled, it looks like I've been sleeping in a ditch. I don't even care that much how much wave it ends up with, I just want to get up and brush my hair in the morning, and have it look like it all belongs on the same head, you know?Lol, I could have written this myself before I started braiding my hair and using a sleep cap. Your hair is mine times 2 but I get it.

[lapushka]

I hear you… but no. When I wake up… imagine the worst bedhead you've ever seen, times about 1000, and then multiplied by hair that's a few inches from my tailbone. It's not a matter of wave or curl, it's a disheveled mess, sticking up, sticking out... It's not charmingly touseled, it looks like I've been sleeping in a ditch. I don't even care that much how much wave it ends up with, I just want to get up and brush my hair in the morning, and have it look like it all belongs on the same head, you know?

I have that if I don't use styling products after my wash, oh you bet. I use a curling cream, then a gel on top, and then a serum. You have to style wavy/curly hair after a wash. But that is a whole nother way of dealing with your hair, and you have to be able to get used to that (it can be difficult).

[Obsidian]

It seems to me that you are trying to brush it like its still short. Top to bottom all in one go.
At a certain length, that really isn't possible. You'll need to multiple steps, gently finger comb to get it all laying one direction, comb with a wide tooth to detangle, brush from bottom to top to further detangle then separate and brush from top to bottom.

[neko_kawaii]

Unfortunately, I can't get any comb through my hair unless it's fully wet. Someone else mentioned a sleep cap also, so I want to look into that as an option to keep my hair from being so wild every day when I get up, and hopefully save it some damage as well. Do you know when a good brands?

I made my own. There are many guides online.

Have you tried using water to help smooth out that slept on spot? Either apply a small amount of water by getting a hand wet and passing it over the spot, or wet your brush or a washcloth, etc. It doesn't take much. Think of it along the lines of how washing your hair removes braid waves or applied curls, the water encourages your hair to resume it's natural texture.

[First Timer]

You could easily make one yourself by resizing the handle of a brush you like to fit a section of PVC pipe. Add a couple of screws for a secure attachment.

Maybe YOU could easily make something, lol, but I can barely screw in a lightbulb! I don't have PVC pipe, or tools, or screws, or any idea how to make something that would be functional, or not have screws or rough edges digging into my hand, or even be safe!

[First Timer]

I got my satin lined scrub hats from Scrub Hat Studio but the lady that runs the shop is very sick so it's closed. There are lots of silk lined scrub hats for sale on Etsy. Mine can be tightened at the nape of my neck and they stay on very good. I had to try a couple of different caps before I finally found the ones that work for me with my big head and energetic tossing and turning as I sleep.

Lol, I could have written this myself before I started braiding my hair and using a sleep cap. Your hair is mine times 2 but I get it.

I will pursue trying to find a silk lined scrub hat, and hopefully that will help! I have a big head too, I'd need one big enough for a man, if they make such a thing.

It's kind of a relief to know that someone else understands what I go through with this hair! Nobody I know in real life has hair anywhere near this long, and the ones who used to have long hair 30 years ago have smooth hair, so they could just get up in the morning and their hair would fall into place… Imagine the luxury, lol!

[First Timer]

I have that if I don't use styling products after my wash, oh you bet. I use a curling cream, then a gel on top, and then a serum. You have to style wavy/curly hair after a wash. But that is a whole nother way of dealing with your hair, and you have to be able to get used to that (it can be difficult).

I've never styled my hair, or use any styling tools or styling products on it. The style is, it's really long, lol! Or, rather, more like medium length for THIS forum, right? I'm perfectly happy with the way it looks just being brushed… I just need to figure out how to brush that spot in the back that I can't reach!

[First Timer]

It seems to me that you are trying to brush it like its still short. Top to bottom all in one go.
At a certain length, that really isn't possible. You'll need to multiple steps, gently finger comb to get it all laying one direction, comb with a wide tooth to detangle, brush from bottom to top to further detangle then separate and brush from top to bottom.

I guess I haven't reached the impossible length yet, because I can and do brush my hair top to bottom all in one go, and it comes out exactly the way I want it… except the spot in the middle of the back that I can't reach.

My hair cannot be combed or finger combed; it's coarse, and sticks together like velcro. Fortunately, it almost never has a tangle. I've been hoping that someone could tell me how to brush that unreachable spot, but I'm kind of losing hope now…

[First Timer]

I made my own. There are many guides online.

Have you tried using water to help smooth out that slept on spot? Either apply a small amount of water by getting a hand wet and passing it over the spot, or wet your brush or a washcloth, etc. It doesn't take much. Think of it along the lines of how washing your hair removes braid waves or applied curls, the water encourages your hair to resume it's natural texture.

It must be a good feeling to be able to make things! I don't have any tools, or ability to use tools, so making things is not an option for me.

I've never styled my hair, so I'm not familiar with what happens when styled hair is washed, but I think I understand the concept. Dampening my hair doesn't put a dent in it. If I soak it sufficiently, which takes some work because it's thick, any puffiness it has will go flat, but it doesn't straighten out. The hair doesn't just need to be flatter, it needs to be brushed out so that it isn't 6 inches shorter than the surrounding hair. Nothing but a brush can even get through my hair, much less flatten it out.

[Simsy]

I guess I haven't reached the impossible length yet, because I can and do brush my hair top to bottom all in one go, and it comes out exactly the way I want it… except the spot in the middle of the back that I can't reach.

My hair cannot be combed or finger combed; it's coarse, and sticks together like velcro. Fortunately, it almost never has a tangle. I've been hoping that someone could tell me how to brush that unreachable spot, but I'm kind of losing hope now…

My hair tends to mat in the centre back as well. I split it in half, carefully; and pull one section over each shoulder. Split the section into a top half and bottom half, and comb/brush through working from the ends up. I start with the bottom section because I like knowing the bottom isn’t going to interfere with the top section. Do one side at a time, and turn your head away from the brush so you can sure you’re getting all of the scalp.

If this is still sounding like a mission on hard mode, jump in the shower and grab the thickest conditioner you have in the house. Get your hair wet, and load up on conditioner. Make sure your hair is coated in the stuff. Use you fingers to work it into the scalp and any tangles you have. Wind the whole mess up out of the water and just let it soak. I like sticking a stick through it but you can also just jam a shower cap over the top. Enough conditioner should just let it sit on top of your head if you aren’t doing anything too active.

Let it sit for 5-15 mins, then grab your brush/comb and let it down. Gently comb through the length, starting from the ends and working up. If you hit a snag that just won’t budge, hold the section under running water and gently comb out. If it’s still causing problems, pick it apart using your fingers under running water. The water is important because it will ensure the strands don’t get more involved as you seperate them.

Go gently, figure out what works as you go. You might find a comb works better than a brush, certain sections might need different tools or techniques. If you need more slip to move tangles, grab the conditioner again.

A lot of the problems seem to be extensions of the main issue, that your hair has gotten longer and needs different care than what you are used to. That’s fine, I had the same issue when I first started trying to learn curls after years of just bad waves. Yes you can brush from top to bottom, but at a certain length that stops working and starts causing problems. You might be able to miss some sections when detangling, but you can’t miss them every time because then they start to mat. (FYI, my hair will start forming locs if I don’t catch it fairly quickly. Yes I’m embarrassed with how long I took to figure that out.) Not everyone can reach the back of their own head, so you need to move your head around; and maybe work on the stretch of your shoulders to make that task a little easier. I still have to bend my head forwards as far as it will go to get the fluff at the back.

[Miss Thyme]

Thank you for the welcome! :-)
I'm a very restless sleeper, and can't sleep on braids, so when I wake up my hair is just WILD! I can brush it back flat quickly enough… Except that ONE patch!
Have you tried a side braid? I don't like sleeping with a braid down the middle either, but if I braid it to the side it stays just enough out of the way that it doesn't bother me.

[lapushka]

Is that patch right at the crown (sorry might have missed a couple messages on here)? Or further down the length. If it's at the crown and your hair does not get oily fast(er), might want to try putting a tiny dot/pea size amount of leave in there on that patch. If it is in your length, go to town with the leave-in. Just about coin size, spread through palms and applied. May do the trick. Might just need a little smoothing over. And you can for instance, lightly "mist" your hair with a spray bottle, just a couple spritzes, don't drench it! Apply leave-in, of just a bit of regular conditioner (in a pinch it'll do), and let dry; see what that does!

[enting]

I'm sorry I don't have a long handled hairbrush to recommend. Googling brought me to https://www.amazon.com/Handled-Applicable-hand-disabled-inconvenient-activities/dp/B07CZK83TZ but I don't know if this would help you out.

[First Timer]

My hair tends to mat in the centre back as well. I split it in half, carefully; and pull one section over each shoulder. Split the section into a top half and bottom half, and comb/brush through working from the ends up. I start with the bottom section because I like knowing the bottom isn’t going to interfere with the top section. Do one side at a time, and turn your head away from the brush so you can sure you’re getting all of the scalp.

If this is still sounding like a mission on hard mode, jump in the shower and grab the thickest conditioner you have in the house. Get your hair wet, and load up on conditioner. Make sure your hair is coated in the stuff. Use you fingers to work it into the scalp and any tangles you have. Wind the whole mess up out of the water and just let it soak. I like sticking a stick through it but you can also just jam a shower cap over the top. Enough conditioner should just let it sit on top of your head if you aren’t doing anything too active.

Let it sit for 5-15 mins, then grab your brush/comb and let it down. Gently comb through the length, starting from the ends and working up. If you hit a snag that just won’t budge, hold the section under running water and gently comb out. If it’s still causing problems, pick it apart using your fingers under running water. The water is important because it will ensure the strands don’t get more involved as you seperate them.

Go gently, figure out what works as you go. You might find a comb works better than a brush, certain sections might need different tools or techniques. If you need more slip to move tangles, grab the conditioner again.

A lot of the problems seem to be extensions of the main issue, that your hair has gotten longer and needs different care than what you are used to. That’s fine, I had the same issue when I first started trying to learn curls after years of just bad waves. Yes you can brush from top to bottom, but at a certain length that stops working and starts causing problems. You might be able to miss some sections when detangling, but you can’t miss them every time because then they start to mat. (FYI, my hair will start forming locs if I don’t catch it fairly quickly. Yes I’m embarrassed with how long I took to figure that out.) Not everyone can reach the back of their own head, so you need to move your head around; and maybe work on the stretch of your shoulders to make that task a little easier. I still have to bend my head forwards as far as it will go to get the fluff at the back.


FINALLY, someone else with the same issue, lol! Unfortunately, I can't use the same method. My hair can't be brushed from the bottom up; the hair sticks to the brush, and every time I move my brush away from the hair, much of the hair just comes up with it, and brushing upward in sections brings my hair out further and further, becoming worse and worse and more and more disheveled and unattractive. The only way to brush it so that it doesn't look like a cyclone landed on my head is to brush it firmly from top to bottom, and then past the ends while still pressing firmly… Then it looks perfect. Imagine a very rumpled bedsheet tucked tightly in on one side, and you have to make it completely smooth to the other side WITHOUT being able to just pull it tight. If you start at the far end, and try to brush it in chunks with your hand, you will NOT have a smooth sheet at the end; the only way to have a smooth sheet is to start at the tightly tucked end push continuously with your hand all the way to the far end. That's what my hair is like.

When I try to brush around behind my neck, and then to the side of my neck, until the point where I can brush against my upper chest, I can't use the width of the brush perpendicular to my hair like I do for the rest of my hair; my wrist doesn't twist that way. All all I can do is poke the hair weakly with the end of the brush, which doesn't brush it out, no matter how many sections I divide it into.

I don't have to use any special procedure to comb through my hair when there's conditioner in it; I just put the comb up to my part, and comb straight through to the bottom all around my head. I never have any tangles or difficulties. I air dry it, and it will look fine. I still can't really brush that part in the back, but that's not necessary because it dries stretched out, if you catch my meaning, and the light skimming over that's all I can do with a brush back there is sufficient for it to look smooth and even. It's only after I've slept, and rolled around, and had that area get all bunched up, that I have a problem. It's not tangled, or loced, it's just badly disheveled and needs to be brushed. If someone else brushes it top to bottom, it instantly stretches and smooths out and looks like the rest of my hair.

I need to be able to get the brush perpendicular to the hair, and brush it firmly; it's the only way to make my hair look good. All I've managed to do in the problem area is poke the hair with the end of the brush and brush it weakly. I've tried every possible contortion of my wrist, arm, shoulder, back, neck, and head, and nothing gets me any closer to being able to brush that hair out. The only solution might be to cut a foot or so off of it, so that I can brush it at a little bit of an angle and still get it brushed out…

[First Timer]

Have you tried a side braid? I don't like sleeping with a braid down the middle either, but if I braid it to the side it stays just enough out of the way that it doesn't bother me.

The only way I can braid my hair is in pigtails, and I can't sleep with that. Or with unbraided pigtails. Or with a ponytail. Any kind of lumps against my head is just excruciating to me, I don't know how people do it!

[First Timer]

Is that patch right at the crown (sorry might have missed a couple messages on here)? Or further down the length. If it's at the crown and your hair does not get oily fast(er), might want to try putting a tiny dot/pea size amount of leave in there on that patch. If it is in your length, go to town with the leave-in. Just about coin size, spread through palms and applied. May do the trick. Might just need a little smoothing over. And you can for instance, lightly "mist" your hair with a spray bottle, just a couple spritzes, don't drench it! Apply leave-in, of just a bit of regular conditioner (in a pinch it'll do), and let dry; see what that does!

The troublesome patch starts a foot or a foot and a half down from the crown of my head. I can't use leave-in conditioner, I can't even put one drop in a big spray bottle, it leaves my hair looking very greasy. Nothing I apply to the hair changes anything, unfortunately. It needs to be brushed out, not just flattened down. I've tried 100 different things that you're supposed to spray on or rub onto the hair, and all it does is change my hair from a disheveled mess to a greasy disheveled mess. The only way to get that patch of hair to be the same texture and same length as the hair around it is to brush it out. Nothing can change my hair from disheveled to not disheveled other than firm physical force. Very frustrating!

[First Timer]

I'm sorry I don't have a long handled hairbrush to recommend. Googling brought me to https://www.amazon.com/Handled-Applicable-hand-disabled-inconvenient-activities/dp/B07CZK83TZ but I don't know if this would help you out.

Something like that would be great… If it had a long dense nylon bristles. At least I know long-handled brushes do exist now, so thanks for that! :-)

[lapushka]

Is it possible to photograph just what you are talking about. Because, I am very curious, wanting to help solve and really eager to see what you mean.

[First Timer]

Is it possible to photograph just what you are talking about. Because, I am very curious, wanting to help solve and really eager to see what you mean.

No, sorry, I don't have any way to take photos. I greatly appreciate your desire to help, though! Try this; get a brush, and see if you can figure out how to get it perpendicular to your hair in the middle of your back and brush it firmly downwards, in other words pressing the hair firmly against your back. If your hair doesn't like to be brushed, or brushed firmly, it could be any object of the same approximate size. There's just got to be a way to do it, I've been looking at people's hair my whole life, and I've never seen anyone regardless of hair texture with that patch in the back that looks like bed head!

[lapushka]

No, sorry, I don't have any way to take photos. I greatly appreciate your desire to help, though! Try this; get a brush, and see if you can figure out how to get it perpendicular to your hair in the middle of your back and brush it firmly downwards, in other words pressing the hair firmly against your back. If your hair doesn't like to be brushed, or brushed firmly, it could be any object of the same approximate size. There's just got to be a way to do it, I've been looking at people's hair my whole life, and I've never seen anyone regardless of hair texture with that patch in the back that looks like bed head!

Hmmm, yeah but see that is your texture just wanting to come through, and it means... you can't fight it. I don't think there's anything you can do, except want to go the natural texture route (and not brush it all out / not brush it dry, which is what you aren't supposed to). And that is (I'm afraid, in your case) the *only* way to get that spot to behave. But you have said a million times over you don't want any part of your natural texture, so... fairly little you can do. It is, IMO, just your natural texture wanting to bust through.

[ravenheather]

Hmmm, yeah but see that is your texture just wanting to come through, and it means... you can't fight it. I don't think there's anything you can do, except want to go the natural texture route (and not brush it all out / not brush it dry, which is what you aren't supposed to). And that is (I'm afraid, in your case) the *only* way to get that spot to behave. But you have said a million times over you don't want any part of your natural texture, so... fairly little you can do. It is, IMO, just your natural texture wanting to bust through.

I completely agree.

[Cg]

Have you tried bending forward from the waist and brushing that way? You might be able to reach that troublesome spot more easily from a different angle. I don't share your issue so take my suggestion as just a wild stab.

[neko_kawaii]

No, sorry, I don't have any way to take photos. I greatly appreciate your desire to help, though! Try this; get a brush, and see if you can figure out how to get it perpendicular to your hair in the middle of your back and brush it firmly downwards, in other words pressing the hair firmly against your back. If your hair doesn't like to be brushed, or brushed firmly, it could be any object of the same approximate size. There's just got to be a way to do it, I've been looking at people's hair my whole life, and I've never seen anyone regardless of hair texture with that patch in the back that looks like bed head!

My hair sounds to be much thinner than yours. I can pull all my hair over one shoulder and brush that area firmly against my body. I sleep either with a braid or a cap and I don't experience bedhead. My hair is fine, circumference is 3 inches with a combination texture in the range of 1C-2b.

On my son's hair (MBL, medium, I'd guess close to 4 inches in circumference, 2b/c texture) combing will remove the mats that form (because he doesn't care for his hair daily) from nape down but it will continue to look disheveled unless dampened. When he sleeps in braids (rarely) he doesn't have bedhead. He wears his hair down during the day and his school backpack causes a similar disheveled look and damage which I didn't realize was such a contributing factor until COVID and remote schooling completely removed that factor and his hair has been much easier to maintain.

Years ago, my SIL consulted me about her daughter's excessive bedhead. We did some experimentation and brushing alone did not resolve that disheveled look. Dampening the area was what worked to smooth the area and braiding at night prevented it. I'd guess her hair type to be 1c, type ii.

Have you done a hair typing? You might get better advice from someone with the same texture and thickness. https://forums.longhaircommunity.com/showthread.php?t=116252

[First Timer]

Hmmm, yeah but see that is your texture just wanting to come through, and it means... you can't fight it. I don't think there's anything you can do, except want to go the natural texture route (and not brush it all out / not brush it dry, which is what you aren't supposed to). And that is (I'm afraid, in your case) the *only* way to get that spot to behave. But you have said a million times over you don't want any part of your natural texture, so... fairly little you can do. It is, IMO, just your natural texture wanting to bust through.

This truly isn't a hair texture issue, this is a hair being badly disheveled from rolling around sleeping on it issue. I don't care too much what texture my hair has, as long as all of my hair has the SAME texture, and looks properly brushed out, if you see what I mean. All it takes is one top to bottom stroke of a hairbrush to the trouble spot, and it instantly looks perfect, exactly like the rest of my hair, and it stays perfect. There isn't any struggle to get it to behave, the only struggle is REACHING it. It has no more or different texture than the rest of my hair, the texture is no more resistant there than anywhere else in my hair, the only problem is that I can't reach it.


It looks like no one has any insight on how I can reach that spot of my hair to brush it out, so we should probably start winding down this thread. Thanks to all who tried to help!

[First Timer]

Have you tried bending forward from the waist and brushing that way? You might be able to reach that troublesome spot more easily from a different angle. I don't share your issue so take my suggestion as just a wild stab.

Brushing my hair that way makes ALL of my hair ridiculously puffy, and because it's far too thick for the brush to get all the way through it, it doesn't actually affect the problem area. HOWEVER, if I could separate out the top layer… my hair clings together like velcro… I could try pulling that piece up and over my head, and see if I can brush enough of it firmly to fix it… I might need to put a piece of cardboard in front of my face to be able to brush it as far down as I need to, but it would certainly be better than going out looking like a wreck! Wish me luck!

[ZoeZ]

No, sorry, I don't have any way to take photos. I greatly appreciate your desire to help, though! Try this; get a brush, and see if you can figure out how to get it perpendicular to your hair in the middle of your back and brush it firmly downwards, in other words pressing the hair firmly against your back. If your hair doesn't like to be brushed, or brushed firmly, it could be any object of the same approximate size. There's just got to be a way to do it, I've been looking at people's hair my whole life, and I've never seen anyone regardless of hair texture with that patch in the back that looks like bed head!

I don't quite understand what the problem is in 'reaching' it? If you part your hair in the middle in the back and bring each half over your shoulder, why can you not brush or comb it that way? It can then be put back and combed or brushed into place? What am I missing?

[First Timer]

My hair sounds to be much thinner than yours. I can pull all my hair over one shoulder and brush that area firmly against my body. I sleep either with a braid or a cap and I don't experience bedhead. My hair is fine, circumference is 3 inches with a combination texture in the range of 1C-2b.

On my son's hair (MBL, medium, I'd guess close to 4 inches in circumference, 2b/c texture) combing will remove the mats that form (because he doesn't care for his hair daily) from nape down but it will continue to look disheveled unless dampened. When he sleeps in braids (rarely) he doesn't have bedhead. He wears his hair down during the day and his school backpack causes a similar disheveled look and damage which I didn't realize was such a contributing factor until COVID and remote schooling completely removed that factor and his hair has been much easier to maintain.

Years ago, my SIL consulted me about her daughter's excessive bedhead. We did some experimentation and brushing alone did not resolve that disheveled look. Dampening the area was what worked to smooth the area and braiding at night prevented it. I'd guess her hair type to be 1c, type ii.

Have you done a hair typing? You might get better advice from someone with the same texture and thickness. https://forums.longhaircommunity.com/showthread.php?t=116252

I envy you your fine-textured hair! Fine hair always looks beautiful and shiny.

My hair immediately achieves a perfect look when brushed, no matter how severe my bedhead is. I can't tolerate braids, but I'm researching getting a silk lined cap to see if that will help. I checked out the hair typing thing, and I'm not sure how to do it correctly… but my problem isn't related to my hair type, literally the only issue here is my inability to twist my arm around such that I can put a brush against that spot on my back and brush through it. That spot doesn't need water, or oils, or conditioner, or any special tools or techniques or treatments, all it needs is just one swipe with a plain old hairbrush, and it becomes instantly perfect like the rest of my hair. Anyone with any hair type could explain how to do this contortion act, if they knew how… But I appear to be the only one on this forum who is actually achieving my desired hair look by just brushing out my hair. Like they say, there always has to be that ONE, lol!

[First Timer]

I don't quite understand what the problem is in 'reaching' it? If you part your hair in the middle in the back and bring each half over your shoulder, why can you not brush or comb it that way? It can then be put back and combed or brushed into place? What am I missing?

The problematic part of the hair is the hair that I CAN'T just firmly brush flat against my upper chest. For the hair above that level, all I can do is twist my wrist and poke it sideways with the end of the brush, which is not remotely equivalent or effective.

[thatsideoflife]

I guess I can see how there could be one area of hair that, no matter how you swing it, is unreachable. I guess the only thing to do (if you can't get it from elbow up, or behind the back reaching) would be a long handled hair brush, or maybe even shoulder stretching. Practicing something like this can greatly improve your reach. Research terms like "yoga shoulder openers" for instructions and more.

https://i.postimg.cc/gJDTCd74/download.jpg (https://postimages.org/)

[First Timer]

I guess I can see how there could be one area of hair that, no matter how you swing it, is unreachable. I guess the only thing to do (if you can't get it from elbow up, or behind the back reaching) would be a long handled hair brush, or maybe even shoulder stretching. Practicing something like this can greatly improve your reach. Research terms like "yoga shoulder openers" for instructions and more.

https://i.postimg.cc/gJDTCd74/download.jpg (https://postimages.org/)

My research on long handled hairbrushes so far has only revealed ones with sparse soft floppy post-type bristles, which I can't even get into my hair much less through it, but I'll be keeping an eye open.

I wasn't familiar with the term "shoulder openers," so I looked it up… and of course it's all stuff that I could never do, lol!

[enting]

I have, at times, tried combing my hair with my hands in a position like the one thatsideoflife posted. I had to hold the comb almost vertical, and I needed to not pull to one side or the other as I went down. It was not easy, and I have very flexible shoulders. I wonder if you work with a wide paddle type brush that covers a decent amount of territory even when vertical if you could manage to get that area. It sounds like you might need more range of motion regardless though. I now wonder if there are any accessibility aids that can help you hold the brush where you want it to be even if you yourself can't reach that spot?

Otherwise, I have this crazy idea of fixing a brush to the wall or to a doorframe just below the height of that area and doing a wall slide against the brush so that it brushes straight down, and you can press into it using your body rather than your arms or hands or asking someone else for help. I wonder if velcro on the wall and back of the brush would hold it - no tools necessary, just sticky backed velcro. You could get a handle-less brush for this even rather than putting velcro on a brush you like to use elsewise.

[lapushka]

This truly isn't a hair texture issue, this is a hair being badly disheveled from rolling around sleeping on it issue. I don't care too much what texture my hair has, as long as all of my hair has the SAME texture, and looks properly brushed out, if you see what I mean. All it takes is one top to bottom stroke of a hairbrush to the trouble spot, and it instantly looks perfect, exactly like the rest of my hair, and it stays perfect. There isn't any struggle to get it to behave, the only struggle is REACHING it. It has no more or different texture than the rest of my hair, the texture is no more resistant there than anywhere else in my hair, the only problem is that I can't reach it.


It looks like no one has any insight on how I can reach that spot of my hair to brush it out, so we should probably start winding down this thread. Thanks to all who tried to help!

Here's the kicker... that's never gonna happen. I'm sorry. I'm sorry but there is no magic pill for this. All of us, have different textures all over our hair, and especially people that are more on the wavy/curly side, that is, I'm afraid the nature of the beast.

Have you tried bending at the waist, from a seated position. I also don't see if it's fairly down the length why you can't reach it, if you even move it to the side, that should be enough to do so. What am I missing? :hmm: I might be the thickest person on earth right about now. :o

[thatsideoflife]

My research on long handled hairbrushes so far has only revealed ones with sparse soft floppy post-type bristles, which I can't even get into my hair much less through it, but I'll be keeping an eye open.

I wasn't familiar with the term "shoulder openers," so I looked it up… and of course it's all stuff that I could never do, lol!

{Obligatory "you can do anything you put your mind to!" and "never say never!" comment}

[thatsideoflife]

Also, I'm sensing a very good business idea here....

[KokoroDragon]

Hmmm... could you duct tape something to the handle of your brush to make it longer, like a ruler or something?

[foreveryours]

Hmmm... could you duct tape something to the handle of your brush to make it longer, like a ruler or something?

Necessity is the mother of invention. Duct tape, I like it :thumbsup:

[First Timer]

I have, at times, tried combing my hair with my hands in a position like the one thatsideoflife posted. I had to hold the comb almost vertical, and I needed to not pull to one side or the other as I went down. It was not easy, and I have very flexible shoulders. I wonder if you work with a wide paddle type brush that covers a decent amount of territory even when vertical if you could manage to get that area. It sounds like you might need more range of motion regardless though. I now wonder if there are any accessibility aids that can help you hold the brush where you want it to be even if you yourself can't reach that spot?

Otherwise, I have this crazy idea of fixing a brush to the wall or to a doorframe just below the height of that area and doing a wall slide against the brush so that it brushes straight down, and you can press into it using your body rather than your arms or hands or asking someone else for help. I wonder if velcro on the wall and back of the brush would hold it - no tools necessary, just sticky backed velcro. You could get a handle-less brush for this even rather than putting velcro on a brush you like to use elsewise.

I envy you your flexible shoulders! I need to be able to get the brush perpendicular to my hair, and press down firmly while brushing through the problem area. I'm not sure a paddle brush, even if one could be found with the long dense nylon bristles that I need, would help with that? I have a long handled scrub brush that I use in the shower. The bristles are of course far too soft to even penetrate much less actually brush my hair, but I tried just reaching the spot, which I COULD touch, but absolutely nothing I could do could get it flat onto my back, firmly pushed down, and then run vertically downwards, which is what I need… which makes me think that a long-handled hairbrush, or any accessibility aid that I could mortgage my house to purchase, lol, might not actually help.

I don't know what kind of adhesive would attach velcro to a wall so solidly that it couldn't be dislodged… but I suspect that whatever it was couldn't be removed without wrecking the wall. Still, you might have a marketable idea there! Something that would bolt onto a wall, hold a brush in clamps… :-)

[GordonMurphella]

I'm curious First Timer, if you've actually given any of these helpful suggestions a try? If you assume they won't work, they ... won't work. But you won't know unless you try.

This is an extraordinarily helpful forum, and you may be surprised by trying things suggested, rather than hitting them with a negative attitude before you even start.

Also, you might surprise yourself if you allow your natural texture to bloom. Good luck.

[First Timer]

Here's the kicker... that's never gonna happen. I'm sorry. I'm sorry but there is no magic pill for this. All of us, have different textures all over our hair, and especially people that are more on the wavy/curly side, that is, I'm afraid the nature of the beast.

Have you tried bending at the waist, from a seated position. I also don't see if it's fairly down the length why you can't reach it, if you even move it to the side, that should be enough to do so. What am I missing? :hmm: I might be the thickest person on earth right about now. :o

I really wasn't thinking that there was any MAGIC involved in just running a brush through my hair, lol! I was assuming that there was some trick to it, but as best as I can determine, no one here actually IS brushing through their hair in that spot; either their hair is thin enough that they can bring it around to the front and brush through the clump, or they're just skimming the brush over, or wetting or oiling it down flat.

I'm pretty sure that neither sitting nor bending changes how my shoulder, arm, and wrist can twist around? My hair is far too thick for brushing from underneath to go all the way through, plus it makes my hair poofy. Reaching around behind my head and brushing down, I can get a couple of inches past the top of my shoulder. To continue brushing down the length of my hair, all I can do is start moving my arm and hand out to the side, pulling the hair to the side, but all I'm doing with that motion is poking my hair with the end of the brush, which is not sufficient. If I pull the hair in front over my shoulder, I can firmly brush SOME of it against my chest, but beyond that there's the big thick "column" of hair that goes from the point I can no longer brush against my body to where it attaches to my head… and again, all I can do to that foot or so of hair is twist my wrist and poke it with the end of the brush, which doesn't remotely penetrate it much less brush it through firmly. It's not enough to be able to TOUCH the hair, the hair has to be spread out thin enough that I can get a brush THROUGH my hair, and I have to be able to press FIRMLY in order to do that. To see for yourself what is happening, get a hairbrush, if your hair can't take actually being brushed then use the BACK of the brush, and try putting it perpendicular to your hair, and pressing it firmly from the top of your head all the way to the ends of your hair. No skipped spots, no spots where the brush isn't perpendicular or pushing down firmly or where your hair is clumped up so a brush couldn't possibly get through it. Can you do it? If you can, let me know what you did with your hand and wrist and arm and shoulder to make it possible past shoulder length. Pictures would help! :-)

[First Timer]

{Obligatory "you can do anything you put your mind to!" and "never say never!" comment}

I always wonder why people say that. From my personal observations, when something is difficult enough that someone has to actually "put their mind to it" in order to work towards doing it, they only have about a 20% chance at best of achieving it… and if the desired goal is typically only reached by people with substantial inborn talents, and/or a lot of people are competing for one spot, the success rate falls down into the low single digits.

[First Timer]

Also, I'm sensing a very good business idea here....

YES, I said the same thing to somebody else a few messages ago! I can't be the only person who wants or needs to be able to thoroughly brush long hair but can't make it happen!

[First Timer]

Hmmm... could you duct tape something to the handle of your brush to make it longer, like a ruler or something?

It really did they seem like a longer handle might be the answer, but it finally occurred to me to try the long-handled scrub brush that I use in the shower, and I still wasn't remotely able to do the firm perpendicular motion that I need to do to brush out the hair.

I'm still pondering the feasibility of brushing the hair forward over the top of my head and then having cardboard covering my face that I can brush onto, though!

[First Timer]

I'm curious First Timer, if you've actually given any of these helpful suggestions a try? If you assume they won't work, they ... won't work. But you won't know unless you try.

This is an extraordinarily helpful forum, and you may be surprised by trying things suggested, rather than hitting them with a negative attitude before you even start.

Also, you might surprise yourself if you allow your natural texture to bloom. Good luck.

Yes, people are TRYING to be helpful, but the problem is, not one single person has actually ACCOMPLISHED what I need to do, so no one has offered me a tried and tested SOLUTION to the problem!

What I'm being given are suggestions, not solutions, and mostly by people who have no idea what the actual problem is. The suggestions all fit into one of several categories:

Build something, that I do not have the ability to do.

Get a long-handled brush: not only do they not exist with bristles that could penetrate my hair, but testing with a long-handled scrub brush has demonstrated that I can't do what I need to do even with something with a long handle.

Combing or finger combing, which cannot be done with my hair.

Wetting the area with some amount of water, oil, or conditioner, which which was long ago tried and failed.

Shuffling my hair around such that all I can do is poke it with the end of the brush, not actually BRUSH it; tried and failed 1000 times before I ever came here.

Twist my head, neck, shoulders, back, arms, wrists, in a specific way… All tried and failed.

Preventative measures: Braiding, that I can't tolerate. Getting a silk-lined cap, which I'm looking into, but they are expensive.

The things that have been suggested haven't failed or been rejected because of ATTITUDE, but because they do not actually address or fix the problem.

My hair issue is not not not not NOT a texture problem, lol! The problem is that I wake up with wildly disheveled garbage hair, and the only way to fix wildly disheveled garbage hair, if you don't have a hair type that you can just pull it or pat it or moisten it and have it fall into place, is to BRUSH it… but I have a spot that I can't brush. I have absolutely no problem with my natural hair texture. I don't care WHAT texture my hair has, all I care about is that it is neatly brushed, so that it does NOT look like I just rolled down the side of a mountain.

I've seen a lot of hair pictures on this form, and there isn't a single one of them that looks like bedhead! I'm at a loss as to why people keep encouraging me to walk around with MY hair looking like a wreck when none of YOU are doing so!

[florenonite]

I really wasn't thinking that there was any MAGIC involved in just running a brush through my hair, lol! I was assuming that there was some trick to it, but as best as I can determine, no one here actually IS brushing through their hair in that spot; either their hair is thin enough that they can bring it around to the front and brush through the clump, or they're just skimming the brush over, or wetting or oiling it down flat.

I'm confused as to why you think that thick hair can't be brushed if you bring it over your shoulder? I have iii hair (the thickest hair type) and that's how I've always brushed it. I split it down the middle at the back, bring each half over my shoulder, and comb, then brush, in sections. For the hair at the back, I brush from the crown, around my head, and down the side.



I'm pretty sure that neither sitting nor bending changes how my shoulder, arm, and wrist can twist around? My hair is far too thick for brushing from underneath to go all the way through, plus it makes my hair poofy. Reaching around behind my head and brushing down, I can get a couple of inches past the top of my shoulder. To continue brushing down the length of my hair, all I can do is start moving my arm and hand out to the side, pulling the hair to the side, but all I'm doing with that motion is poking my hair with the end of the brush, which is not sufficient. If I pull the hair in front over my shoulder, I can firmly brush SOME of it against my chest, but beyond that there's the big thick "column" of hair that goes from the point I can no longer brush against my body to where it attaches to my head… and again, all I can do to that foot or so of hair is twist my wrist and poke it with the end of the brush, which doesn't remotely penetrate it much less brush it through firmly. It's not enough to be able to TOUCH the hair, the hair has to be spread out thin enough that I can get a brush THROUGH my hair, and I have to be able to press FIRMLY in order to do that. To see for yourself what is happening, get a hairbrush, if your hair can't take actually being brushed then use the BACK of the brush, and try putting it perpendicular to your hair, and pressing it firmly from the top of your head all the way to the ends of your hair. No skipped spots, no spots where the brush isn't perpendicular or pushing down firmly or where your hair is clumped up so a brush couldn't possibly get through it. Can you do it? If you can, let me know what you did with your hand and wrist and arm and shoulder to make it possible past shoulder length. Pictures would help! :-)

This is why people are saying it's a texture issue. Hair that goes poofy when brushed usually has nascent curls, and curls need to be treated differently from straight hair. That's just how it is. If you're not willing to wet your hair down every morning and bring out your curls, then the best advice I have for you would be to blow dry it straight. Then you should be able to brush it over your shoulder like most straight-haired and mildly-wavy people do.

[lapushka]

Yes, people are TRYING to be helpful, but the problem is, not one single person has actually ACCOMPLISHED what I need to do, so no one has offered me a tried and tested SOLUTION to the problem!

What I'm being given are suggestions, not solutions, and mostly by people who have no idea what the actual problem is. The suggestions all fit into one of several categories:

Build something, that I do not have the ability to do.

Get a long-handled brush: not only do they not exist with bristles that could penetrate my hair, but testing with a long-handled scrub brush has demonstrated that I can't do what I need to do even with something with a long handle.

Combing or finger combing, which cannot be done with my hair.

Wetting the area with some amount of water, oil, or conditioner, which which was long ago tried and failed.

Shuffling my hair around such that all I can do is poke it with the end of the brush, not actually BRUSH it; tried and failed 1000 times before I ever came here.

Twist my head, neck, shoulders, back, arms, wrists, in a specific way… All tried and failed.

Preventative measures: Braiding, that I can't tolerate. Getting a silk-lined cap, which I'm looking into, but they are expensive.

The things that have been suggested haven't failed or been rejected because of ATTITUDE, but because they do not actually address or fix the problem.

My hair issue is not not not not NOT a texture problem, lol! The problem is that I wake up with wildly disheveled garbage hair, and the only way to fix wildly disheveled garbage hair, if you don't have a hair type that you can just pull it or pat it or moisten it and have it fall into place, is to BRUSH it… but I have a spot that I can't brush. I have absolutely no problem with my natural hair texture. I don't care WHAT texture my hair has, all I care about is that it is neatly brushed, so that it does NOT look like I just rolled down the side of a mountain.

I've seen a lot of hair pictures on this form, and there isn't a single one of them that looks like bedhead! I'm at a loss as to why people keep encouraging me to walk around with MY hair looking like a wreck when none of YOU are doing so!

I don't think you realize how *much* of a texture issue that is. I know what *my* hair does without styling product of any kind. Just that! And it's not a question then of trying to pull a brush through (please with textured hair, throw the darn brush away on dry hair), it is a wetting down and applying some curling cream and gel moment. For sure. So why not even try that? That is exactly what GordonMurphella calls not wanting to try and a negative attitude, especially when you call your own hair garbage hair. A picture would be very helpful at this point, because I fear we are going around in circles. :)

[GordonMurphella]

As usual, great minds Lapushka. I got logged out while replying so I'll try again :)

First Timer, I'm sure your hair is not "garbage hair" and you may surprise yourself and your hair by giving some of these suggestions a shot. I for one have not used a brush in over 25 years, some of us just can't.

Best of luck to you, and it may be time for a cheese platter. I have some lovely smoked Gouda.

[enting]

I'm not sure it's so mechanically possible to press down and go straight down the back of one's own hair. As you noted, your hand starts pulling to the side as you go down. I think it's possible that most people brush a bit to the side or they divide their hair into sections to brush and that it sorts itself out somehow. As for pressure to get bristles through hair, I've used my other hand to provide a surface to force the brush into in the past. I don't know if you can manage that, though.

(My shoulders can reach lots of places, but on the flip side I can overstretch them easily and injure them, so it's a very mixed blessing.)

I suspect that those who are encouraging embracing your unbrushed texture may also not be of the view that your hair is a wreck :flower:

A lot of times on the forum a person might be struggling with some part of their routine not having the result they want and some of those times a person ends up changing the routine instead. I think a lot of these suggestions on what else to do comes from that perspective, that sometimes a person can be happier changing what they do/what they expect. That does not mean that that has to be your route, though!

I had noted that sometimes satin lined caps are put up on the swap board and that may end up being a cheaper alternative than buying one new, if that's something you'd like to look into.

I saw that you wrote that you can't bun your hair for sleeping because sleeping on bumps is painful. I'm the same way. I did find that bunning my hair on the very top of my head and even a bit toward the front for sleep works pretty well for me if that's a position you hadn't already tried and would be interested in. I have to watch out for the headboard (so I scoot a bit toward the foot of the bed) but I don't end up laying on it no matter which direction I toss and turn into. It does help me avoid messy bedhead, but everyone's hair is different.

[lapushka]

As usual, great minds Lapushka. I got logged out while replying so I'll try again :)

First Timer, I'm sure your hair is not "garbage hair" and you may surprise yourself and your hair by giving some of these suggestions a shot. I for one have not used a brush in over 25 years, some of us just can't.

Best of luck to you, and it may be time for a cheese platter. I have some lovely smoked Gouda.

I'll take that cheese platter and up you a Brie & Camembert. ;) :p

[Kibrah]

I'll throw in my 2 cents here. I think I understand the way you are wanting to brush and I just honestly think it isn't physically possible. I have very very flexible shoulders and would have to do it in 2 steps, crown to neck, then reach behind and go from base of neck down. But I still think it would be almost impossible. Instead I take it to one side over my shoulder and then I can do it in one stroke. My mother has long (classic to mid thigh), very thick, very coarse hair. She brushes the same way pulling the hair over one shoulder, but she turns her head to the opposite shoulder and then uses her hand on the underside sandwiching her hair between the brush and her hand. This probably helps the brush get through her very thick hair. Also, your hair does sound like it has at least some wave to it that you are fighting. I recently had to switch the way I cared for my hair because it has developed a very wavy pattern. It took lapushka saying some people can not brush their hair when dry for an aha moment. I tried her styling routine and looked into new methods and now, what I thought was badly misbehaving hair is not. I do not brush at all between washing usually. If I do the front is nice and the back which is wavier is a mess. My hair needed a different routine and care. It has changed and won't behave using my old ways of taking care of it. If you want I can look for pictures of that progress. I could also have dh film the way I am talking about brushing so you can see what I mean.

[KokoroDragon]

It really did they seem like a longer handle might be the answer, but it finally occurred to me to try the long-handled scrub brush that I use in the shower, and I still wasn't remotely able to do the firm perpendicular motion that I need to do to brush out the hair.

I'm still pondering the feasibility of brushing the hair forward over the top of my head and then having cardboard covering my face that I can brush onto, though!

OK this may sound a bit crazy but hear me out. Can you at least reach the spot with a long handle and do the perpendicular motion NOT firm? If yes, could you then lean against a wall or other surface while doing so to create the pressure you need? Kind of like the velcro suggestion but without having to actually attach anything to the wall.

If this doesn't work, it may be best to look into other ways of caring for your hair. There are lots of curly/wavy hair tutorials on YouTube, and threads for curly hair here you could take a look at. :flowers:

[lapushka]

I'll throw in my 2 cents here. I think I understand the way you are wanting to brush and I just honestly think it isn't physically possible. I have very very flexible shoulders and would have to do it in 2 steps, crown to neck, then reach behind and go from base of neck down. But I still think it would be almost impossible. Instead I take it to one side over my shoulder and then I can do it in one stroke. My mother has long (classic to mid thigh), very thick, very coarse hair. She brushes the same way pulling the hair over one shoulder, but she turns her head to the opposite shoulder and then uses her hand on the underside sandwiching her hair between the brush and her hand. This probably helps the brush get through her very thick hair. Also, your hair does sound like it has at least some wave to it that you are fighting. I recently had to switch the way I cared for my hair because it has developed a very wavy pattern. It took lapushka saying some people can not brush their hair when dry for an aha moment. I tried her styling routine and looked into new methods and now, what I thought was badly misbehaving hair is not. I do not brush at all between washing usually. If I do the front is nice and the back which is wavier is a mess. My hair needed a different routine and care. It has changed and won't behave using my old ways of taking care of it. If you want I can look for pictures of that progress. I could also have dh film the way I am talking about brushing so you can see what I mean.

I never knew that I turned your routine around. Awesome that you're in a better place with your hair! I'm so glad. Yep and the difficult part is that getting "rid" of the brush (at least on dry hair) is so counterintuitive that it takes a lot... a lot to be able to do it. It's the total opposite of what you keep wanting to do.

So yes, I understand how hard it is, but trust me, it is worth it just trying it out for once... at least once!

[thatsideoflife]

Did anyone suggest getting someone else to brush it for you yet? I don't know if there are professional hairbrushers, but maybe a hairstylist friend would be interested in a trade of some kind.

By the way I've enjoyed brainstorming this. Thanks for bringing your question here :popcorn:

[Kibrah]

I never knew that I turned your routine around. Awesome that you're in a better place with your hair! I'm so glad. Yep and the difficult part is that getting "rid" of the brush (at least on dry hair) is so counterintuitive that it takes a lot... a lot to be able to do it. It's the total opposite of what you keep wanting to do.

So yes, I understand how hard it is, but trust me, it is worth it just trying it out for once... at least once!

Yep, it was in that thread about 'what in the world is wrong with my hair' or something like that. I always waited until it was fully dry to brush. I thought what the heck and went for it. I don't want to steal the op thread , but thank you.

[GordonMurphella]

Did anyone suggest getting someone else to brush it for you yet? I don't know if there are professional hairbrushers, but maybe a hairstylist friend would be interested in a trade of some kind.

Ok, this made me spit my coffee. I'm not sure I'd want anything to do with anyone setting themself up as a professional hairbrusher :) It's early, don't hurt the Murph.

OP, again, best of luck to you. And Kibrah good on you for being open minded! New things can be real winners, and you proved it. I'd love to see the OP do that.

[lapushka]

Yep, it was in that thread about 'what in the world is wrong with my hair' or something like that. I always waited until it was fully dry to brush. I thought what the heck and went for it. I don't want to steal the op thread , but thank you.

Totally welcome! :)
I knew how hard it was for me to ditch the brush, and it was so darn weird to me! So I do get the tenaciousness of wanting to keep brushing something you shouldn't be... at all.

[The Lizard Wife]

My mother has long (classic to mid thigh), very thick, very coarse hair. She brushes the same way pulling the hair over one shoulder, but she turns her head to the opposite shoulder and then uses her hand on the underside sandwiching her hair between the brush and her hand. This probably helps the brush get through her very thick hair.

I would also suggest using the other hand as a flat surface to brush the hair against, if it's possible. I don't know if this is actually useful, because I don't technically understand OP's issue--I understand that it's definitely an issue! But I can get my hair all brushed out from bedhead in the morning by splitting it in half and bringing it over my shoulders, and OP cannot, so it's hard for me to picture a problem I've never experienced--but that's how I make sure a brush is fully and firmly penetrating my thick hair if I can't brush it against my scalp. And since OP mentioned being able to brush the hair flat where it's lying on their chest, perhaps the problematic section above that could be sandwiched between the brush and a free hand? I'm assuming OP's other hand is free but I guess that's not necessarily a safe assumption.

[meepster]

I would also suggest using the other hand as a flat surface to brush the hair against, if it's possible. I don't know if this is actually useful, because I don't technically understand OP's issue--I understand that it's definitely an issue! But I can get my hair all brushed out from bedhead in the morning by splitting it in half and bringing it over my shoulders, and OP cannot, so it's hard for me to picture a problem I've never experienced--but that's how I make sure a brush is fully and firmly penetrating my thick hair if I can't brush it against my scalp. And since OP mentioned being able to brush the hair flat where it's lying on their chest, perhaps the problematic section above that could be sandwiched between the brush and a free hand? I'm assuming OP's other hand is free but I guess that's not necessarily a safe assumption.

Yeah, that's what I do too. My hair is very coarse and I can't penetrate it with the brush without doing that.

[First Timer]

I'm confused as to why you think that thick hair can't be brushed if you bring it over your shoulder? I have iii hair (the thickest hair type) and that's how I've always brushed it. I split it down the middle at the back, bring each half over my shoulder, and comb, then brush, in sections. For the hair at the back, I brush from the crown, around my head, and down the side.



This is why people are saying it's a texture issue. Hair that goes poofy when brushed usually has nascent curls, and curls need to be treated differently from straight hair. That's just how it is. If you're not willing to wet your hair down every morning and bring out your curls, then the best advice I have for you would be to blow dry it straight. Then you should be able to brush it over your shoulder like most straight-haired and mildly-wavy people do.


You have smooth silky beautiful hair, that can easily be penetrated by a brush. I have course snarly hair, that can NOT be easily penetrated by a brush. If I pull my hair forward, all I can do in the problem area, which I have to twist my wrist to reach, is poke it weakly with the tip of the brush… And this does not penetrate to brush more than a fraction of my hair, much less brush it FIRMLY as is necessary.

My hair doesn't get puffy when brushed, it gets puffy when UNDER-brushed, as almost all people's hair does; that's part of how you CREATE a puffy hairstyle, you under-brush your hair.

My hair is not now, nor has it been at any point of my life, curly. The ends curl slightly, and that's it. Regardless of what my natural texture is, I wake up every day with bad bedhead, and the only way to eliminate that is to BRUSH it. Brushing it makes it absolutely perfect and exactly the way I want it. The one and only problem here is that there's a patch that I can't reach.

[First Timer]

I don't think you realize how *much* of a texture issue that is. I know what *my* hair does without styling product of any kind. Just that! And it's not a question then of trying to pull a brush through (please with textured hair, throw the darn brush away on dry hair), it is a wetting down and applying some curling cream and gel moment. For sure. So why not even try that? That is exactly what GordonMurphella calls not wanting to try and a negative attitude, especially when you call your own hair garbage hair. A picture would be very helpful at this point, because I fear we are going around in circles. :)

My hair is absolutely PERFECT after being thoroughly and properly dry brushed. PERFECT. Every single time. The fact that you don't believe this shows me that you don't understand about my texture of hair... Not that it matters, because this is NOT NOT NOT a texture issue, this is a BEDHEAD issue.

As I've said previously in this thread, I've applied every kind of liquid and glop to my hair 1000 times, to no benefit whatsoever. It doesn't matter how much glop you apply to a snarl, it remains a snarl, that is 6 inches shorter than the rest of my hair.

There certainly IS negative attitude here, but it's not from me, it's from people who are angry at being told that their ideas don't work. As I've said multiple times in this thread, I have tried EVERY SINGLE IDEA that I am physically able to do in this thread many many times, and have FAILED every single time. Not refused to try, tried and failed. FAILED FAILED FAILED… Because the suggestions in this thread do not address the actual problem!

Anyone's hair while it has untreated bedhead is garbage hair. Everyone who has ever seen my hair first thing in the morning has agreed, it's awful. Ignoring and denying the facts is not being positive, and clearly stating the facts is not being negative.

I don't have any photos of my hair, and that you think that would make a difference shows that you still don't understand the problem. The problem is, I have a patch of my hair that I can't reach to brush properly. I'm not some alien from Mars with a totally different shape of body that you would have to see to understand why I can't reach it. The only person on this thread who has seemed to understand the problem so far was the one talking about doing yoga and having flexible shoulders... But needless to say, I'm not going to become a yoga master in the hopes that it will help me brush my hair, lol.

[First Timer]

As usual, great minds Lapushka. I got logged out while replying so I'll try again :)

First Timer, I'm sure your hair is not "garbage hair" and you may surprise yourself and your hair by giving some of these suggestions a shot. I for one have not used a brush in over 25 years, some of us just can't.

Best of luck to you, and it may be time for a cheese platter. I have some lovely smoked Gouda.

Everyone in my life who has seen my hair right out of bed has said that it IS garbage hair, just like everyone else's hair while they have severe bedhead; I'm sure you'll understand that I will listen to the opinions of the people I know and trust in real life, rather than the opinions of online strangers who have never even SEEN my hair.

As I've said many times in this thread, I HAVE tried every single suggestion that has been given that I'm physically able to do, and they have all FAILED, because none of them address the actual problem, which is that I wake up with horrific bedhead every day, but thoroughly brushing it out gives me PERFECT hair, but I have one spot that I can't reach.

Since the only answers I need are about hair brushing, maybe people who don't brush their hair aren't the best ones to give me advice, lol?

[First Timer]

I'm not sure it's so mechanically possible to press down and go straight down the back of one's own hair. As you noted, your hand starts pulling to the side as you go down. I think it's possible that most people brush a bit to the side or they divide their hair into sections to brush and that it sorts itself out somehow. As for pressure to get bristles through hair, I've used my other hand to provide a surface to force the brush into in the past. I don't know if you can manage that, though.

(My shoulders can reach lots of places, but on the flip side I can overstretch them easily and injure them, so it's a very mixed blessing.)

I suspect that those who are encouraging embracing your unbrushed texture may also not be of the view that your hair is a wreck :flower:

A lot of times on the forum a person might be struggling with some part of their routine not having the result they want and some of those times a person ends up changing the routine instead. I think a lot of these suggestions on what else to do comes from that perspective, that sometimes a person can be happier changing what they do/what they expect. That does not mean that that has to be your route, though!

I had noted that sometimes satin lined caps are put up on the swap board and that may end up being a cheaper alternative than buying one new, if that's something you'd like to look into.

I saw that you wrote that you can't bun your hair for sleeping because sleeping on bumps is painful. I'm the same way. I did find that bunning my hair on the very top of my head and even a bit toward the front for sleep works pretty well for me if that's a position you hadn't already tried and would be interested in. I have to watch out for the headboard (so I scoot a bit toward the foot of the bed) but I don't end up laying on it no matter which direction I toss and turn into. It does help me avoid messy bedhead, but everyone's hair is different.

Thank you for being only the SECOND person in this entire thread to address the actual issue, physically accessing that part of my hair!

Yes, the only way I've been able to brush the middle back of my hair as it's gotten longer is to brush it somewhat to the side... But unfortunately, it's gotten too long and heavy for that to work anymore. I've been hoping that someone would be able to explain a different method, but all of the few people who are still brushing their hair appear to be able to brush it thoroughly by pulling it forward, which doesn't remotely work for me.

Using the other hand definitely creates more pressure, but unfortunately I can't reach the brush with my other hand during this process, not by a huge margin.

The issue is not the TEXTURE of my hair, or having a problem with the texture of my hair, it's that I have BEDHEAD, and that bedhead is not a texture, bedhead is an ugly wreck... which every person who has ever seen my hair right out of bed agrees is what my hair looks like. With the exception of a few mentally ill homeless people, I have never seen anyone walking around with anything that looked like bedhead in my entire life, and that includes all the pictures I've seen of people's hair on this forum. Since no one on this forum is showing themselves with bedhead, I don't understand why so many people want ME to walk around with bedhead… Is this some sort of forum hazing ritual or something, lol?

I am absolutely positively 100% happy with the way my hair looks with my current routine. When fully and properly brushed, my hair is 100% perfect. PERFECT. Beyond that, there is no routine in existence which would have my hair look anything other than horrifying with the middle back of my hair being a big snarl that's 6 inches shorter than the rest of my hair! This isn't a routine issue, or a texture issue, the only thing preventing me from having 100% perfect hair all over every inch every second of every day is figuring out how to reach that one spot.

I'm unable to put up my hair without assistance (I've used a million different explanations and YouTube videos, all failures, and no, I DON'T want that to become a new topic for discussion, lol), and even WITH assistance, it doesn't stay up, it starts unraveling immediately… and it's excruciatingly uncomfortable. A friend of a friend is a nurse who will allegedly be loaning me a regular scrub cap to see if I can even stand having it on my head, before I invest in an expensive purchase, so we'll see how that goes.

If necessary, I'll cut a foot or so of it off so that I can go back to being able to brush it properly by brushing on a diagonal; it's not like that will be the end of the world or anything.

[First Timer]

I'll throw in my 2 cents here. I think I understand the way you are wanting to brush and I just honestly think it isn't physically possible. I have very very flexible shoulders and would have to do it in 2 steps, crown to neck, then reach behind and go from base of neck down. But I still think it would be almost impossible. Instead I take it to one side over my shoulder and then I can do it in one stroke. My mother has long (classic to mid thigh), very thick, very coarse hair. She brushes the same way pulling the hair over one shoulder, but she turns her head to the opposite shoulder and then uses her hand on the underside sandwiching her hair between the brush and her hand. This probably helps the brush get through her very thick hair. Also, your hair does sound like it has at least some wave to it that you are fighting. I recently had to switch the way I cared for my hair because it has developed a very wavy pattern. It took lapushka saying some people can not brush their hair when dry for an aha moment. I tried her styling routine and looked into new methods and now, what I thought was badly misbehaving hair is not. I do not brush at all between washing usually. If I do the front is nice and the back which is wavier is a mess. My hair needed a different routine and care. It has changed and won't behave using my old ways of taking care of it. If you want I can look for pictures of that progress. I could also have dh film the way I am talking about brushing so you can see what I mean.

Thank you for being only the third person to address the actual issue of this thread!

I'd be ecstatic if I could brush my hair in 2 steps like you might be able to, but unfortunately, not having anything in the universe of your flexible shoulders, I can't even come close.

I tried putting my hand under the big clump of hair that is the problem patch when I pull it forward, bending and twisting my head and neck every possible way… and not even close, not even when I tried doing what little pushing up towards the brush I could do with my arm wrapped around me like that. All I can do is weakly poke the hair with the tip of the brush in that area, which is only getting through a small percentage of the hair, and even then, not firmly like it needs to be brushed.

When properly brushed, my hair looks absolutely perfect. Every hair, every inch, every minute of every day; PERFECT. I have bedhead every day that needs to be undone. The only way to undo it is by thorough brushing. I've tried everything that everyone has suggested, to no effect whatsoever; brushing is the only solution.

I'm not willing to do some new elaborate routine to have totally different-looking hair; my hair is perfect NOW, and I want it to STAY perfect, looking exactly the way it looks now. If I can't find a way to brush it out completely without assistance, I will cut off as much hair as I need to to be able to brush it in the middle back at a diagonal and have it be perfect. I can cut a foot off of it, and it will still seem very long to everyone not on this forum, it will still get rave reviews every day about how gorgeous it is, and I will have achieved this by doing absolutely nothing to it but brushing it for 5 minutes a day.

I'd be interested to see video of how someone with seriously long hair is brushing it, whether it applies to my hair texture or not, thank you for offering that. :-)

[lapushka]

Could you possibly take a picture? Even if you only snap a picture of the problem area.

[Pouncequick]

I'm going to try to help you out here because I am a person who styles my hair by brushing it if I want to wear it down. In texture my hair seems completely different from yours but we have a similarity, it looks crazy if I don't brush it or style it to be wavy. It doesn't look like what most people would think of as a texture, it looks crazy. It sticks out, gets weird kinks like a garden hose, and forms ropy tangled masses. The way to figure out what type or texture of hair you have is to wash it as usual and to not brush it or touch it (within reason) while it dries. This sounded crazy to me as a person who always brushes my hair while it dries, but after doing this it was fairly clear that my hair isn't (totally) disobedient straight hair. My hair texture is between straight and wavy which doesn't look nice left to its own devices. It also looks borderline insane right after I wake up especially when it is too short to contain. I don't think my hair is garbage anymore because I learned to deal with these issues. I don't think your hair is garbage either, even with no images of your issues. I think people in your real life should not tell you it is. That is unkind even if it is not meant to be.

Look, your hair is obviously too long for you to style it as you prefer and are accustomed to. You seem to expect all of us style our hair by brushing it just like you do and therefore we must know some trick. We don't. As our hair grew we changed how we dealt with it and styled it. If it means more to you to have hair short enough you can brush it all perpendicularly against your back, you just need to cut it.

If you want to try something else, here is how I currently style my hair to more straight using a brush: I part it in the middle and press the brush against my hand to smooth it starting from the bottom and working up in sections. I usually have to finger-comb each section before I brush it because my hair is very grabby and sometimes the brush creates tangles where there weren't any. I end by brushing my scalp hair how I like it and smoothing any areas that decided to get up to some tomfoolery while I was working with my scalp. This can be annoying and the hair in the middle of my back is the least well behaved. After a few passes it goes with the flow. At my length this is a pain and the work is undone almost instantly so I usually only do this for length shots. If I sleep with my hair down it tries to strangle me so I keep it braided even though I wasn't comfortable with "bumpy" hair while I slept at first either. When my hair is short I obsessively brush it because that is the only style I can do with it. Now that it's long I always wear it up or in braided styles. Usually up. My braids get up to shenanigans at this point if left to their own devices. At your length it was not comfortable for me to wear my hair up and it wouldn't stay up anyways, so I braided it more often since it didn't look as nice left down. To me having quite long hair worn up is actually easier than always brushing it into homogeneity. To each their own.

Edited for clarity

[First Timer]

OK this may sound a bit crazy but hear me out. Can you at least reach the spot with a long handle and do the perpendicular motion NOT firm? If yes, could you then lean against a wall or other surface while doing so to create the pressure you need? Kind of like the velcro suggestion but without having to actually attach anything to the wall.

If this doesn't work, it may be best to look into other ways of caring for your hair. There are lots of curly/wavy hair tutorials on YouTube, and threads for curly hair here you could take a look at. :flowers:

What a lovely color your hair is! Is that natural?

No, unfortunately, although I can touch the problem spot in the back of my hair using the long-handled scrub brush, I can't do a perpendicular motion with it, not even lightly, and the bristles are too soft to penetrate my hair at all.

I'm not willing to do some new elaborate routine to have totally different-looking hair; my hair is perfect NOW, and I want it to STAY perfect, looking exactly the way it looks now. If I can't find a way to brush it out completely without assistance, I will cut off as much hair as I need to to be able to brush it in the middle back at a diagonal and have it be perfect. I can cut a foot off of it, and it will still seem very long to everyone not on this forum, it will still get rave reviews every day about how gorgeous it is, and I will have achieved this by doing absolutely nothing to it but brushing it for 5 minutes a day.

If there's a tutorial on how to brush the middle back of your hair, thoroughly and firmly, THAT would be a big help…?

[First Timer]

Did anyone suggest getting someone else to brush it for you yet? I don't know if there are professional hairbrushers, but maybe a hairstylist friend would be interested in a trade of some kind.

By the way I've enjoyed brainstorming this. Thanks for bringing your question here :popcorn:

I don't think anyone previously suggested getting someone else to brush my hair for me; they've been arguing that I should STOP brushing it and just walk around with bedhead every day! I don't think there are any professional hairbrushers, and if there were I couldn't afford them, but fortunately all I need is ONE brushstroke to make that spot go from horrific to perfect; it doesn't take a hairstylist to do it, it's just brushing, I've been getting whoever I'm with to do it for me, but I'm not willing to do that long-term, so if I can't figure out how to do it myself, I'll cut it back enough that I can brush it by myself again. I'll make a little more effort at trying to brush that area of hair forward over my head, and onto a piece of cardboard in front of my face, in order to brush it out firmly, but if I can't coordinate that, it's goodbye hair.

[First Timer]

I would also suggest using the other hand as a flat surface to brush the hair against, if it's possible. I don't know if this is actually useful, because I don't technically understand OP's issue--I understand that it's definitely an issue! But I can get my hair all brushed out from bedhead in the morning by splitting it in half and bringing it over my shoulders, and OP cannot, so it's hard for me to picture a problem I've never experienced--but that's how I make sure a brush is fully and firmly penetrating my thick hair if I can't brush it against my scalp. And since OP mentioned being able to brush the hair flat where it's lying on their chest, perhaps the problematic section above that could be sandwiched between the brush and a free hand? I'm assuming OP's other hand is free but I guess that's not necessarily a safe assumption.

I did try the hand thing, which I posted in my response to the person who suggested it… And it didn't help at all. Even doing what little pushing up towards the brush I could do, the brush was still only penetrating a tiny fraction of that clump of hair, and weakly, not firmly.

Thank you for acknowledging that there IS an issue here, and that because you don't experience it yourself, you don't fully understand it!

[First Timer]

Yeah, that's what I do too. My hair is very coarse and I can't penetrate it with the brush without doing that.

I'm glad to know that I'm not the last person in the world who BRUSHES their hair, lol! Are you able to hold the brush perpendicular to your hair and brush it firmly, or are you poking it with the end of the brush? If the former, I would very much love to see a photo of what you're doing, to see if I can duplicate it!

[First Timer]

Could you possibly take a picture? Even if you only snap a picture of the problem area.

No, sorry, I have no way to take any pictures; I don't even use a cell phone. And, before you ask, no, I'm 100% unwilling to ask someone to focus on something ugly about me and photograph it, and then have an ugly image of me floating around. (I'd appreciate it if no one started a separate sub-topic on this issue.)

This really isn't a visual issue, this is a mechanical issue; how to get a brush perpendicular to the hair in the middle in the back and brush it firmly. It doesn't matter what my hair looks like, how thick it is, the texture, color, or anything, because the mechanics are the same for every kind of hair; hair of ANY type could have a brush placed perpendicular against it and moved firmly, if the owner chose to do so. Heck, hair isn't even necessary; even a BALD person could take a hairbrush and move it around in such a way that they would be moving it firmly perpendicular to hair if they had it… or maybe they can't, because some people have posted that it's not actually possible to do this.

I have some hope for brushing the hair forward over my skull and onto a piece of cardboard held over my face. The obvious difficulty with that is that I can't SEE, further hampered by it being difficult for me to coordinate my hands, but it's either that or just cut the hair enough that I CAN brush it properly.

[TheLuckyLurker]

You need your hair to be in between the brush and a firm surface, yes? Sit on the floor next to your bed,or a couch. Lean forward so your forehead is resting against the side of it. Grab only the trouble section and pull it up and over your head. That section of hair should now be laying on the surface of whichever piece of furniture you're using for this. Brush through that section pressing it against the furniture, and then gently move it back over your head to rest in its normal place and brush the rest of your hair normally.

[KokoroDragon]

What a lovely color your hair is! Is that natural?

No, unfortunately, although I can touch the problem spot in the back of my hair using the long-handled scrub brush, I can't do a perpendicular motion with it, not even lightly, and the bristles are too soft to penetrate my hair at all.

I'm not willing to do some new elaborate routine to have totally different-looking hair; my hair is perfect NOW, and I want it to STAY perfect, looking exactly the way it looks now. If I can't find a way to brush it out completely without assistance, I will cut off as much hair as I need to to be able to brush it in the middle back at a diagonal and have it be perfect. I can cut a foot off of it, and it will still seem very long to everyone not on this forum, it will still get rave reviews every day about how gorgeous it is, and I will have achieved this by doing absolutely nothing to it but brushing it for 5 minutes a day.

If there's a tutorial on how to brush the middle back of your hair, thoroughly and firmly, THAT would be a big help…?

Thank you! Yes, this is my natural color.

Unfortunately, it seems that my suggestions aren't working for you. With my hair I am able to just split it in half and brush against my neck and chest, which seems to be common. Since not many other people seem to have the same issue with brushing as you, I can only think that you have a rather unique hair type. As others have stated, a picture might help us to better understand what you're dealing with since it's not something we have experience with.

I found this thread with pictures of people's bedhead: https://forums.longhaircommunity.com/showthread.php?t=148542

I also did a quick YouTube search for hair brushing videos, and it looks like pretty much all of the videos on "how to brush long hair" have the person start with brushed hair, and don't go through it fully...no help at all for the viewer.

There's only one other thing I can think to suggest - and I don't know if this will work for you or not, hopefully it does:
Bend over at the waist/hips and turn your head to the side, bringing your hair over your shoulder. When I do this, my hair is like a curtain spanning from the top of my head to my neck. Then, starting from the top of your head, brush downwards. Use your other hand on the other side of your "hair curtain" to press the brush against. You could also use a piece of cardboard if you need something stiffer and flatter. You may have to repeat, switching which side your brush is on, to fully get through all your hair. I'll attach a couple pictures below so you can see what I mean.

https://photos.app.goo.gl/VDFMaHNopQtE4Ads5
(https://photos.app.goo.gl/VDFMaHNopQtE4Ads5)
Edit: just saw your response that using your hand to press against the brush doesn't work for you.

[The Lizard Wife]

I did try the hand thing, which I posted in my response to the person who suggested it… And it didn't help at all. Even doing what little pushing up towards the brush I could do, the brush was still only penetrating a tiny fraction of that clump of hair, and weakly, not firmly.

Thank you for acknowledging that there IS an issue here, and that because you don't experience it yourself, you don't fully understand it!

I'm sorry to hear it wasn't helpful and didn't solve your issue.

I do understand the frustration. People mean well and really do want to be helpful in the forum! But sometimes we get stuck on the idea of "This problem sounds like X problem that I had, which I fixed by doing Y, and if only you would just try Y surely you would no longer be unhappy just like I am no longer unhappy!" And it can be really difficult to patiently listen to that and repeatedly explain when you're thinking, "But that's not my problem at all, it didn't fix anything and you aren't listening when I explain, I can't be the only person with this problem, can I?!" I've had a few experiences like that myself, but I've also found lots of positive experiences here too, and I hope for the best for you.

I have some issues with flexibility in my shoulders too (though not to the same degree/it impacts other aspects of my life but not my hair), and issues with thick hair + sensitive scalp so I could not put up my hair without pain. If cutting your hair will make it possible for you to care for it the way you need to, and make it look good, and make you happy, I would personally consider that cutting it might be the best solution. I have done a lot of chops for that reason, and they were very necessary to ensure my continued happiness and sanity. I've learned that "wishing I never cut my hair so it was long like fantasy princess hair" and "actually regretting getting myself out of a truly untenable situation" are two entirely different feelings for me. Plenty of people would have told me I should stick it out, but they aren't me and they can't fully understand how I was suffering. And since it sounds like you know exactly how much you need to cut to make yourself happy, it would not be a risky gamble. That would make me very inclined to go for cutting, if I were having this problem.

Anyway, I really hope you can find some solution to the problem that makes you happy :blossom:

[First Timer]

I'm going to try to help you out here because I am a person who styles my hair by brushing it if I want to wear it down. In texture my hair seems completely different from yours but we have a similarity, it looks crazy if I don't brush it or style it to be wavy. It doesn't look like what most people would think of as a texture, it looks crazy. It sticks out, gets weird kinks like a garden hose, and forms ropy tangled masses. The way to figure out what type or texture of hair you have is to wash it as usual and to not brush it or touch it (within reason) while it dries. This sounded crazy to me as a person who always brushes my hair while it dries, but after doing this it was fairly clear that my hair isn't (totally) disobedient straight hair. My hair texture is between straight and wavy which doesn't look nice left to its own devices. It also looks borderline insane right after I wake up especially when it is too short to contain. I don't think my hair is garbage anymore because I learned to deal with these issues. I don't think your hair is garbage either, even with no images of your issues. I think people in your real life should not tell you it is. That is unkind even if it is not meant to be.

Look, your hair is obviously too long for you to style it as you prefer and are accustomed to. You seem to expect all of us style our hair by brushing it just like you do and therefore we must know some trick. We don't. As our hair grew we changed how we dealt with it and styled it. If it means more to you to have hair short enough you can brush it all perpendicularly against your back, you just need to cut it.

If you want to try something else, here is how I currently style my hair to more straight using a brush: I part it in the middle and press the brush against my hand to smooth it starting from the bottom and working up in sections. I usually have to finger-comb each section before I brush it because my hair is very grabby and sometimes the brush creates tangles where there weren't any. I end by brushing my scalp hair how I like it and smoothing any areas that decided to get up to some tomfoolery while I was working with my scalp. This can be annoying and the hair in the middle of my back is the least well behaved. After a few passes it goes with the flow. At my length this is a pain and the work is undone almost instantly so I usually only do this for length shots. If I sleep with my hair down it tries to strangle me so I keep it braided even though I wasn't comfortable with "bumpy" hair while I slept at first either. When my hair is short I obsessively brush it because that is the only style I can do with it. Now that it's long I always wear it up or in braided styles. Usually up. My braids get up to shenanigans at this point if left to their own devices. At your length it was not comfortable for me to wear my hair up and it wouldn't stay up anyways, so I braided it more often since it didn't look as nice left down. To me having quite long hair worn up is actually easier than always brushing it into homogeneity. To each their own.

Edited for clarity

Your hair is so shiny! My hair has never been that shiny, not even as a kid with virgin hair.

My natural hair is basically perfect. I always air-dry it after washing it, and I don't ever use a brush on wet hair, so it dries with my 100% natural unaltered texture… which, honestly, is perfect, and stays perfect until I've slept in it. I don't put anything on it, I don't do anything to it except brush it after it's been slept in, I don't do any kind of styling to it; my "style" is that I have long perfect hair.

I like people to tell me the truth about my appearance. Bedhead DOES look bad, it ALWAYS looks bad, and I don't believe for a minute that anyone here actually thinks differently, because there isn't a single picture on this forum showing bedhead.

I had no expectations about how people here were handling their hair, although I certainly assumed that a larger percentage were BRUSHING it. There are countless things in life where there ARE tricks to doing it in the best possible way, so it was 100% reasonable to assume, since I've never seen anyone walking around with a snarly patch in the back of their head like I have when I get out of bed, that there was some trick to handling that. It would've been EXTREMELY helpful if someone had said 2 WEEKS ago that the only way anyone is brushing that part of their hair, of the strangely few people who ARE brushing their hair, is when it's all pulled around in front, and if I can't get my hair fully brushed out that way myself, which I can't, then no one here has any help for me… Rather than involving so many people in over 2 weeks of circular discussion about hair texture and other things that don't actually address the problem.

And yes, as I've already posted several times, if I can't figure out how to get my hair properly brushed out, I will be cutting enough off of it that I CAN do so.

[First Timer]

You need your hair to be in between the brush and a firm surface, yes? Sit on the floor next to your bed,or a couch. Lean forward so your forehead is resting against the side of it. Grab only the trouble section and pull it up and over your head. That section of hair should now be laying on the surface of whichever piece of furniture you're using for this. Brush through that section pressing it against the furniture, and then gently move it back over your head to rest in its normal place and brush the rest of your hair normally.

I'd just finished regretfully agreeing in a response to someone who'd said that there wasn't any trick that would allow me to brush that part of my hair… and then the very next post I read, this one, HAD a trick… and IT WORKS!!!!

Thank you TheLuckyLurker, I can now brush my own hair!! Next stop, tailbone length!!


:cheer::cheer::cheer:
:joy::joy::joy:
:happydance::happydance::happydance:

[GoddesJourney]

I'm glad that worked out for you. A lot of us actually do brush our hair every day, but I think it took a long time to figure out exactly what the problem was, which in the end seems to be thick hair meets inflexible shoulders. The solution makes sense then to just move your hair to a more convenientlocation. Haha. Welcome, by the way.

[lapushka]

Great you got it solved. And who would have thought the solution would be so simple. I was about to suggest taking a brush sticking it through to the affected area, and putting a brush on top of the other one coming from the other side; but that's a chore. :lol:

[enting]

Well done TheLuckyLurker, you're creative!

I wouldn't have thought of that - I wouldn't have thought brushing in a different orientation would have worked, I was (mis)understanding it had to be brushed in the downwards direction to work for First Timer.

I'm glad it works for you First Timer! That method would make my hair fluffy and bunched if I were wearing it down! It sounds like it would only work for me if I'm doing an updo. Different hair is so different in its care.

[KokoroDragon]

So glad you found a solution! And such a simple one at that.

[Miss Thyme]

Congratulations on finding a solution! I'm very happy for you :)

[Pouncequick]

Thank you! I have a hair type that is very shiny and I use products to enhance it. :)

I'm glad flipping it on furniture worked out for you. Somewhere along the way I got confused by what the issue was because I was thinking you were trying to brush the hair between your shoulders straight down while pressing hard, which would be impossible for me to do and my shoulders are hyper-flexible. I think that's mechanically impossible based on how shoulders work. I'm still a bit unclear on where the hair is that you can't reach and why you can't reach it, but I'm glad you have a solution.

I might be fuzzy since we're like 12 pages into this topic but I had thought a couple other people mentioned flipping over and brushing that strand of hair which is why I responded. Flipping over doesn't work for me because every brush stroke can kind of "move" my hair around so if I don't go in something reasonably close to the correct direction it actually makes my problems worse. That's why I told you the full procedure of brushing in sections all the way to the top and then re-attacking certain areas that moved around in the back to get it smooth again. Essentially going over the back many times to do the same thing I could do in one stroke when it was short.

Many people here don't brush their hair often because most humans don't have straight hair. A lot of wavy (and pretty much all curly) people cause more problems if they brush their hair dry. Also combing or even just finger-combing are pretty common methods around here.

[bokeh]

TheluckyLurker saved the day! First Timer I'm so glad that you can now enjoy your hair and continue growing!

[TheLuckyLurker]

I'm glad it worked for you!!

[Kibrah]

I'd just finished regretfully agreeing in a response to someone who'd said that there wasn't any trick that would allow me to brush that part of my hair… and then the very next post I read, this one, HAD a trick… and IT WORKS!!!!

Thank you TheLuckyLurker, I can now brush my own hair!! Next stop, tailbone length!!


:cheer::cheer::cheer:
:joy::joy::joy:
:happydance::happydance::happydance:


I am glad you got it worked out! I am guessing you don't need that video now. Which is just as well as I have been so busy helping out a friend it would be a week or two before I would have time.

Edited for typos.

[First Timer]

I'm glad that worked out for you. A lot of us actually do brush our hair every day, but I think it took a long time to figure out exactly what the problem was, which in the end seems to be thick hair meets inflexible shoulders. The solution makes sense then to just move your hair to a more convenient location. Haha. Welcome, by the way.

Thank you on both counts! I love the way you have your hair, is there a special name for that, when it looks kind of swirly?

[First Timer]

Great you got it solved. And who would have thought the solution would be so simple. I was about to suggest taking a brush sticking it through to the affected area, and putting a brush on top of the other one coming from the other side; but that's a chore. :lol:

Thanks! Sometimes the real genius is when somebody sees a simple solution that other people weren't seeing.

I tried coordinating 2 brushes, although I don't know if it's the way you were intending, and even together they don't get through my hair, much less make it possible to brush firmly. I'll try it again next time I deep condition, when I can get through my hair better… But I hold back from doing that, because when I do, my hair becomes a big puffball, lol!

[First Timer]

Well done TheLuckyLurker, you're creative!

I wouldn't have thought of that - I wouldn't have thought brushing in a different orientation would have worked, I was (mis)understanding it had to be brushed in the downwards direction to work for First Timer.

I'm glad it works for you First Timer! That method would make my hair fluffy and bunched if I were wearing it down! It sounds like it would only work for me if I'm doing an updo. Different hair is so different in its care.

Thank you! Especially with really long hair like ours, people's hair can be really really different, that's clear! My hair would come out way too fluffy from regular under-brushing, but kind of doing something like under-brushing, but brushing it firmly against a mattress, makes it come out smooth. It's crazy, but as long as it works!

[First Timer]

So glad you found a solution! And such a simple one at that.


Congratulations on finding a solution! I'm very happy for you :)


TheluckyLurker saved the day! First Timer I'm so glad that you can now enjoy your hair and continue growing!

Thanks so much, you guys! I'm very relieved that I can grow keep growing my hair and not have to cut it! :-)

[First Timer]

Thank you! I have a hair type that is very shiny and I use products to enhance it. :)

I'm glad flipping it on furniture worked out for you. Somewhere along the way I got confused by what the issue was because I was thinking you were trying to brush the hair between your shoulders straight down while pressing hard, which would be impossible for me to do and my shoulders are hyper-flexible. I think that's mechanically impossible based on how shoulders work. I'm still a bit unclear on where the hair is that you can't reach and why you can't reach it, but I'm glad you have a solution.

I might be fuzzy since we're like 12 pages into this topic but I had thought a couple other people mentioned flipping over and brushing that strand of hair which is why I responded. Flipping over doesn't work for me because every brush stroke can kind of "move" my hair around so if I don't go in something reasonably close to the correct direction it actually makes my problems worse. That's why I told you the full procedure of brushing in sections all the way to the top and then re-attacking certain areas that moved around in the back to get it smooth again. Essentially going over the back many times to do the same thing I could do in one stroke when it was short.

Many people here don't brush their hair often because most humans don't have straight hair. A lot of wavy (and pretty much all curly) people cause more problems if they brush their hair dry. Also combing or even just finger-combing are pretty common methods around here.

I used to under-brush my hair in the 80s… were you even born then?… and that made it really fluffy, which was the style back then. I sure wouldn't want to do that now, though! Plus, in those days I had short hair, and I could brush it all firmly from the top as well, so it was all getting thoroughly brushed out... an absolute must with snarly hair, which I think is the furthest thing in the universe from your silky hair!

I'd never heard of this thing of not brushing hair until I came here, so, although it seems common on this forum, maybe not so much in the wider world? When I wash my hair, which isn't very often, I have to put literal handfuls of conditioner on it and work it through for a while before I can get a comb through it; it's like twisted strands of velcro. I sure wish I could trade with YOU for a day!

[First Timer]

I'm glad it worked for you!!

Thank you! You are the hero of this saga for sure! :toast:

[First Timer]

I am glad you got it worked out! I am guessing you don't need that video now. Which is just as well as I have been so busy helping out a friend it would be a week or two before I would have time.

Edited for typos.

I'd be interested to see your video if you ever did get a chance to make it, but if you end up not being able to, no harm done. :-)

[enting]

snip ~
I'd never heard of this thing of not brushing hair until I came here, so, although it seems common on this forum, maybe not so much in the wider world? When I wash my hair, which isn't very often, I have to put literal handfuls of conditioner on it and work it through for a while before I can get a comb through it; it's like twisted strands of velcro.
~snip

My hair is the same when either wet or dry if I don't put something in it that works for slip (and that isn't always conditioner!). Trying to detangle when damp is the absolute worst for me personally, though I know some people specifically detangle when damp.

Some people can't (or don't) detangle their hair when wet at all. I switched to a comb rather than a brush because brushing was damaging my hair. A lot of people find that ball tipped brushes do that, but as always, everyone's hair is different. But I do detangle regularly! I think most people whose hair needs it does. The only brushing I do nowadays is with a boar bristle brush that is mainly to scritch my scalp and move oils down my hair. I don't generally use it for styling or detangling.

I'd note that some people equate "brushing" with "detangling", even though they are not inherently linked.

I can't speak for the world at large other than to say that there are a lot of norms that aren't necessarily right for people, so the people that they work for keep doing it and are appalled at anyone who doesn't do whatever it is. And the people that those things don't work for struggle and are confused as to why their hair or body isn't responding "correctly". That's why YMMV is such a common thing here. There's no one correct way for all heads of hair, there's only the best way for a singular person and their hair at the time - because hair and circumstances also change over time.

[First Timer]

My hair is the same when either wet or dry if I don't put something in it that works for slip (and that isn't always conditioner!). Trying to detangle when damp is the absolute worst for me personally, though I know some people specifically detangle when damp.

Some people can't (or don't) detangle their hair when wet at all. I switched to a comb rather than a brush because brushing was damaging my hair. A lot of people find that ball tipped brushes do that, but as always, everyone's hair is different. But I do detangle regularly! I think most people whose hair needs it does. The only brushing I do nowadays is with a boar bristle brush that is mainly to scritch my scalp and move oils down my hair. I don't generally use it for styling or detangling.

I'd note that some people equate "brushing" with "detangling", even though they are not inherently linked.

I can't speak for the world at large other than to say that there are a lot of norms that aren't necessarily right for people, so the people that they work for keep doing it and are appalled at anyone who doesn't do whatever it is. And the people that those things don't work for struggle and are confused as to why their hair or body isn't responding "correctly". That's why YMMV is such a common thing here. There's no one correct way for all heads of hair, there's only the best way for a singular person and their hair at the time - because hair and circumstances also change over time.

So now I have to know; what do you use for slip that isn't conditioner? I'm wondering if it would keep my hair from sticking together like velcro. I'm fortunate that I almost never get a tangle, but the only way to get anything to penetrate all the way through my hair is to fill it up with conditioner, which means it would be pretty wet.

I've never been able to get a ball-tipped brush to go even an inch through my hair, which is too bad because they are much easier to find than good nylon bristles. Lots of people love them, though, so they must do something...?

People whose hair never does what they want certainly need to change something, either how they handle their hair or their definition of what it might be reasonable to want. But it seems to be human nature to want different hair than we have, right? People with straight hair want curls, people with curls want straight hair…

[enting]

So now I have to know; what do you use for slip that isn't conditioner? I'm wondering if it would keep my hair from sticking together like velcro. I'm fortunate that I almost never get a tangle, but the only way to get anything to penetrate all the way through my hair is to fill it up with conditioner, which means it would be pretty wet.

I've never been able to get a ball-tipped brush to go even an inch through my hair, which is too bad because they are much easier to find than good nylon bristles. Lots of people love them, though, so they must do something...?

People whose hair never does what they want certainly need to change something, either how they handle their hair or their definition of what it might be reasonable to want. But it seems to be human nature to want different hair than we have, right? People with straight hair want curls, people with curls want straight hair…

I live in a semi hard water area and use a dilution of one part vinegar to three parts water instead of conditioner. I just pour it all over starting at the scalp, being careful to keep it out of my eyes (it burns!!) and I make sure to soak the ends. Then I comb it under the shower, rinsing it at the same time. Vinegar is supposed to help with too much mineral deposit which can make hair sticky, and it's also supposed to help close the hair cuticles making each strand smoother. I think it also helps move sebum down the length from the scalp, but I'm not sure on that. The first few months I used it my hair was very greasy, but after that point I like how it works better than conditioner most of the time.

ETA: When my hair is dry I use either a bit of sesame oil or sesame oil and aloe mixed together to give my hair slip. I've tried a variety of oils, but this is the one my hair seems to like best. YMMV, as with everything hair wise.

Oh I could get a ball tipped brush through my hair. I'd just rip a lot of hair on the way. I can still manage to rip out hair with my comb, but I'm a bit less likely to. My scalp was happier with ball tipped brushes, I do have to admit. Combs just aren't the same. I have a boar bristle brush for my scalp, but the tips of bristles aren't the same as ball tips.

I think it's a stereotype that people want different hair than what they have. Certainly some fit the stereotype, but I don't know if it even has to be the majority.

I enjoy having wurly in between hair once I learned its moods and how to deal with it. My main trouble was that everyone around me classed my hair as curly, but it wasn't "behaving" and having nice sproingy curls all the time. Well, that's because I didn't have day 1 hair all the time, and my hair is wurly, not super coily curly! I kept trying to make it what it wasn't. I do like how my hair is that in between texture so that I can get it to what a lot of people call "straight" (not 1a, but maybe 1c) with combing and oiling, or I can get it to 3a with lots of scruching on freshly washed hair. But I've never wanted hair that's completely unattainable for my hair type. I'm sad when my hair changes texture because I miss how it was, but that's true of plenty of other things aside from hair for me!

[Kibrah]

I'd be interested to see your video if you ever did get a chance to make it, but if you end up not being able to, no harm done. :-)
I'll put it on my to do list.

[First Timer]

I live in a semi hard water area and use a dilution of one part vinegar to three parts water instead of conditioner. I just pour it all over starting at the scalp, being careful to keep it out of my eyes (it burns!!) and I make sure to soak the ends. Then I comb it under the shower, rinsing it at the same time. Vinegar is supposed to help with too much mineral deposit which can make hair sticky, and it's also supposed to help close the hair cuticles making each strand smoother. I think it also helps move sebum down the length from the scalp, but I'm not sure on that. The first few months I used it my hair was very greasy, but after that point I like how it works better than conditioner most of the time.

ETA: When my hair is dry I use either a bit of sesame oil or sesame oil and aloe mixed together to give my hair slip. I've tried a variety of oils, but this is the one my hair seems to like best. YMMV, as with everything hair wise.

Oh I could get a ball tipped brush through my hair. I'd just rip a lot of hair on the way. I can still manage to rip out hair with my comb, but I'm a bit less likely to. My scalp was happier with ball tipped brushes, I do have to admit. Combs just aren't the same. I have a boar bristle brush for my scalp, but the tips of bristles aren't the same as ball tips.

I think it's a stereotype that people want different hair than what they have. Certainly some fit the stereotype, but I don't know if it even has to be the majority.

I enjoy having wurly in between hair once I learned its moods and how to deal with it. My main trouble was that everyone around me classed my hair as curly, but it wasn't "behaving" and having nice sproingy curls all the time. Well, that's because I didn't have day 1 hair all the time, and my hair is wurly, not super coily curly! I kept trying to make it what it wasn't. I do like how my hair is that in between texture so that I can get it to what a lot of people call "straight" (not 1a, but maybe 1c) with combing and oiling, or I can get it to 3a with lots of scruching on freshly washed hair. But I've never wanted hair that's completely unattainable for my hair type. I'm sad when my hair changes texture because I miss how it was, but that's true of plenty of other things aside from hair for me!

I live in a REALLY hard water area, and I used to use lemon juice to get the minerals out of my hair, and make it shinier, but unfortunately, as I got older and my hair dried out, and I started needing conditioner, the lemon juice was stripping all the conditioner off of my hair, leaving it bone dry, so I had to stop using it.

I wish I could use oil, or even leave-in conditioner, and get smooth silky hair, but what I actually get is a greasy mess. Even using a hot or treatment in the shower, that's going to be rinsed out, doesn't work for me. The thing that works best is, bizarrely, plain old super-cheap drugstore 3 Minute Miracle!

It might be a generational thing, but I don't know a single woman other than myself whose haircare routine doesn't include something designed to alter the natural texture of her hair; every single one of them is either straightening, curling or perming. And of course, we're all coloring as well. And they're all using a bunch of products in their hair, too, something else that I've never done. It's like I haven't passed the secret rites of womanhood, because I just let my hair hang whatever way it wants to; other women are always trying to persuade me to "DO something" with my hair.

[enting]

I live in a REALLY hard water area, and I used to use lemon juice to get the minerals out of my hair, and make it shinier, but unfortunately, as I got older and my hair dried out, and I started needing conditioner, the lemon juice was stripping all the conditioner off of my hair, leaving it bone dry, so I had to stop using it.

I wish I could use oil, or even leave-in conditioner, and get smooth silky hair, but what I actually get is a greasy mess. Even using a hot or treatment in the shower, that's going to be rinsed out, doesn't work for me. The thing that works best is, bizarrely, plain old super-cheap drugstore 3 Minute Miracle!

It might be a generational thing, but I don't know a single woman other than myself whose haircare routine doesn't include something designed to alter the natural texture of her hair; every single one of them is either straightening, curling or perming. And of course, we're all coloring as well. And they're all using a bunch of products in their hair, too, something else that I've never done. It's like I haven't passed the secret rites of womanhood, because I just let my hair hang whatever way it wants to; other women are always trying to persuade me to "DO something" with my hair.

It might be generational, or it might be cultural, or both. I think I find the idea of needing to do something with my hair exhausting. I always wanted it longer and to be less frizzy, but most of my life I just let it do its thing. The most I did with it on any sort of regular basis was fun hairstyles that only involved a brush or comb and barrettes or scrunchies or clips. I never did anything with chemicals to change texture, and I maybe had heat used on it once a year? I had a classmate growing up who blow dried her midback length hair perfectly straight every morning. I knew others who flat ironed their hair every day or so. I had no interest in that kind of commitment. It may also be a personality thing. I also knew a bunch of people my age who didn't do anything in particular to change the texture.