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hairyprincess
December 3rd, 2020, 11:11 PM
Hopefully this isn’t a repeat question! I tried looking for it, but I did not find it.
I was reading about how the hairstyle you choose can change your perception of yourself, and I was wondering how this could apply to growing long hair. Since I still have short hair, and nothing has changed much yet, I was wondering if any of you have experienced this sort of change in growing out your long hair. What did long hair do for your self image, confidence, etc? And also, how did your view change of others who have long hair?

lapis_lazuli
December 3rd, 2020, 11:29 PM
Hmm...I tried to think about how I felt about myself 5 years ago with shorter hair compared to now. I do feel much better about myself but I've had a lot of life changes in that time besides my hair. Though I think it still did improve my self image, in that I feel more like myself with long hair, which raises my confidence. I'm trying to avoid the slippery slope of feeling defined by it...but I do like what I see in the mirror a lot more now.

barnet_fair
December 4th, 2020, 03:06 AM
Growing long hair has been an incredible journey of metamorphosis. I'm now skilled in magic, the power of illusion, and the dark art of necromancy. So you could say that my self-image changes whenever I feel like it. I've gained the ability to change men into swine, which has been very useful! But despite all this I still can't manage to keep a man (if you're reading this, Odysseus or Glaucus, I'm still here!!).

Feral_
December 4th, 2020, 03:15 AM
What a good question! I’ve always liked long hair on other people and admired it. So to try and grow my own was a natural decision. Previously I would grow it a bit then get it cut, then maintained it at arm pit length. When I went water only and my hair texture changed, I discovered I had waves, then I decided I wanted to grow it longer. The more it’s growing the more I like it. As for self-image and confidence, having longer hair has not changed that, both are low.

Sarahlabyrinth
December 4th, 2020, 03:44 AM
I don't know that it has changed much, though I do feel more like my real self with long hair, if that makes any sense.

Siv
December 4th, 2020, 03:49 AM
I think setting a goal and sticking with it for several years has boosted my self-confidence. Sure, in the last year I've been fending off the urge to chop, but even if I did/when I do chop, it doesn't change the fact that I still stuck with my goal.

The hair growth has sort of become a "secular spiritual journey" in a sense, for me. It's come to symbolically represent al lot of different things for me. Personal growth and change. Dedication and devotion. Beauty and body care. Learning and openness. It's coincided with a more "non-secular" spiritual journey as well, even though I don't see hair as part of divinity of belief at this time.

Zesty
December 4th, 2020, 05:57 AM
I guess if I think about it:

- I am more convinced of my ability to be patient and stick to goals long-term
- It is a part of my identity that is stable and that I'm sure of
- It represents doing what feels right and what I like without worrying about what others might think

Those are the parts that I can specifically attribute to long hair I think, though as previous posters have said there are other things at play in my general life journey in tandem with my hair journey.

Bat
December 4th, 2020, 06:00 AM
When I get long hair I'll be back to answering that properly

neko_kawaii
December 4th, 2020, 07:30 AM
I'm not aware of the length of my hair every changing my self image. Hair that is easy to keep out of my face and off my neck makes me more physically comfortable and is more convenient for me than short hair. Perhaps this is a result of choosing to go from long to short multiple and back many times as a child. I don't identify with any length, if that makes sense.

cat11
December 4th, 2020, 09:12 AM
I agree with others who said it has made me realize the power of patience and sticking to a goal :)

I guess I feel more polished and maybe even more feminine. For all of high school and a few years after I had really short hair, above Shoulder length with longer pieces in the front. Kind of a shaggy do with straight across bangs that was layered in the back and had longer pieces in the front. Kinda Like Ramona Flowers from Scott Pilgrim :p

For better or for worse this hair is less casual. I have to think more about when I get it wet or what I do with it when the length is down. It needs to be super thoroughly pinned down in a mosh pit. Sometimes I feel a little prissy about it and try not to care so much but I think a lot about hairs snapping lol

jane_marie
December 4th, 2020, 10:03 AM
hmmm...

Well, my hair isn't the longest it has ever been and at most of the points in my life that I did have longer hair than now having long hair was not a goal exactly, it was just something that happened. I don't know that the length of my hair has really changed my self perception much.

However, I will say that deciding to grow my natural hair out (natural color, natural thickness/no layers) has challenged me to appreciate my natural look more. My strands are really thick and I have thick hair on top of that. Other people influenced me to think that my hair was like an animals. I was often told that I had "horse hair" which made me feel like it was weird or inhumane. So, I would cut it short to make it less noticeable, and layer it so it looked thinner because I was sort of ashamed to look different from all the blonde haired children with their heads of fine golden strands.

I feel like it's still a bit of a journey for me but I have begun to see my dark (but not quite black) hair as something to be proud of because it's a part of me in the same way that the person those genetics are from is a part of me. I've also started to appreciate things I have never considered before. Like how I can take my hair down to protect my face from the sun because it's thick, how that thickness works well with my wide shoulders, and how the thickness of my individual strands makes them a bit more resilient.

I think these things have made an impact on less superficial areas of acceptance because it has forced me to ruminate on my tendency to try to be what people want me to be instead of what I am and face who I actually am as well as the life experiences and people that have shaped me into that.

So, in many ways my committing to the goal of growing my natural hair out has been influenced me t mend my scars so that I can also "grow my natural self out".

I don't know if that makes sense. It's sort of amazing to me that something so superficial could inspire me to seek real change. Life is a funny sort of thing.

cestlavie
December 4th, 2020, 11:25 AM
I had short hair all my life and when I decided to grow it all out it felt like I finally made peace with mysef, who I was and everything I have dealt with until then. That was 4 years ago, with some ups and downs, but I never had the urge to cut or dye my hair again. Some sort of inner peace came with that decision somehow and I still feel this way!

Finda
December 4th, 2020, 01:23 PM
I think setting a goal and sticking with it for several years has boosted my self-confidence. Sure, in the last year I've been fending off the urge to chop, but even if I did/when I do chop, it doesn't change the fact that I still stuck with my goal.

The hair growth has sort of become a "secular spiritual journey" in a sense, for me. It's come to symbolically represent al lot of different things for me. Personal growth and change. Dedication and devotion. Beauty and body care. Learning and openness. It's coincided with a more "non-secular" spiritual journey as well, even though I don't see hair as part of divinity of belief at this time.


You expressed yourself so well that I'm lazy and simply quote this. I can identify with your statement 100%.

elise.autumn
December 4th, 2020, 06:56 PM
So, in many ways my committing to the goal of growing my natural hair out has been influenced me t mend my scars so that I can also "grow my natural self out".

I don't know if that makes sense. It's sort of amazing to me that something so superficial could inspire me to seek real change. Life is a funny sort of thing.

I completely understand what you mean. I love that perspective.



My initial hair growth literally happened because I procrastinated to get it cut. By the time I realized I wanted to keep it very long, I was already underway through a massive reinvention of myself. Growing my hair out has coincided with my becoming an independent adult, less shy, and living a more meaningful life. I have also grown immensely during the same time through bouts with depression, betrayal, and now an impending family tragedy. I am much stronger than I was.

My long hair represents my true self - I am unusual, feminine, and soft but a bit wild sometimes. If my hair were gone I'd be the same person, but I love having an outward reflection.

I never wore my hair down when a teenager - it felt emotionally uncomfortable to me, like I was naked. I never sang in front of people. I never wore dresses. These things made me feel too vulnerable. Now I do each multiple times a week, sometimes all three at the same time. It feels amazing to be closer to who I was made to be!

Bri-Chan
December 4th, 2020, 07:39 PM
So, my journey to long hair began 2 years ago, but I always had long-ish hair.
So, I have a peculiar style and a lot of hairstyles, in length and color, doesn't suit it. I've nothing spiritual to say but I feel more comfortable with my hair after (or before, if colored) certein lengths because of how it looks with my other clothes. I don't like "regular" hair, I feel not like myself. I like this "weird" characteristic of my aesthetic. On the contrary of what other said, on me I don't find it feminine by itself, at least not when down (that's why I'm not a big fan of updos). I find it more wild than feminine.

0xalis
December 4th, 2020, 09:59 PM
My hair is still short/medium, depends on who you ask. Very close to shoulder length.
But considering my starting length was a no-guard buzzcut in May 2019, and this is the longest it's been in years, it feels long enough for me to have an answer to this.
I've had vastly differing hair lengths throughout my life, but I'll answer from the most recent perspective.

When I had super-short hair, I felt that I had very androgynous or even masculine energy, and I felt very uncomfortable dressing femininely. I felt it made dresses and skirts look weird on me.
The thing is though, I love being feminine. I'm a lesbian and I had a Butch/tomboy phase that lasted many years, but I eventually realized I feel more like myself when I dress Femme.
I don't wear makeup or jewelry due to sensory issues, and I only rarely paint my nails. So my only real way to express my femininity via fashion is through my hair and clothes!

Long hair doesn't feel inherently feminine to me, my dad has always been a longhair and his hair is longer than my mom's, but the way it frames my face makes me feel more beautiful so I feel more comfortable dressing femininely.
I think super-short hair makes me handsome rather than beautiful. I don't think I'm unattractive either way, but I prefer to be beautiful over handsome. Actually most of all I prefer to be "cute"! I most prefer being called cute or adorable :inlove:

I feel more cute and confident with my hair in a bun (or two!) than when I have a buzzcut. I always want my hair to be in a convenient style that keeps it off my face, so the lengths between buzzed and now were very annoying!
I know that when I rock a buzzcut it gives me confident energy and people give me lots of compliments for being brave and different, but I know I much prefer the way I look with longer hair, and how I feel about myself is most important.

meepster
December 4th, 2020, 10:04 PM
Hopefully this isn’t a repeat question! I tried looking for it, but I did not find it.
I was reading about how the hairstyle you choose can change your perception of yourself, and I was wondering how this could apply to growing long hair. Since I still have short hair, and nothing has changed much yet, I was wondering if any of you have experienced this sort of change in growing out your long hair. What did long hair do for your self image, confidence, etc? And also, how did your view change of others who have long hair?

I'm actually experiencing this transformation at the moment; I'd had short hair all my life (with one brief foray into LHC in 2005), and only started growing it out during the pandemic. Last time around, I wore it loose all the time, and it just looked like a mess. This time around, I'm wearing my hair up all the time. I put it in a ponytail as soon as it was long enough to do that, and now it's in a "sock bun" sort of thing all the time.

It was an adjustment - when I first started wearing my hair up, it totally didn't feel like "me". Now that I'm more used to it, I like it. It feels elegant and feminine, in a way that I never felt with short hair (or with long hair worn loose, which is what I did in 2005). I always want to straighten out my posture when I put up my hair.

I'm noticing that my clothing style is getting more feminine too. My wife is happy about both the clothing and the hair.

stardust lady
December 4th, 2020, 11:30 PM
I feel more cute and confident with my hair in a bun (or two!) than when I have a buzzcut. I always want my hair to be in a convenient style that keeps it off my face, so the lengths between buzzed and now were very annoying!
I know that when I rock a buzzcut it gives me confident energy and people give me lots of compliments for being brave and different, but I know I much prefer the way I look with longer hair, and how I feel about myself is most important.

I also got a lot of compliments with buzzed hair. I think people find buzzed hair on women to be refreshing, daring and confident, and I still love the look, but for me it was too high maintenance (undercut) and I wanted long hair to play with. Also not being able to tie my hair back from my neck and ears drives me crazy, and every few days I try to make a ponytail to see if I can finally bundle it all together. Almost!

I think, all in all, hair length, color, texture doesn't necessarily make me feel different about myself, but choosing to pursue what I want, rather than what I think other people will find attractive, has improved my confidence, and that's changed my self image. When I had it permanently straightened, or buzzed off, or dyed, or naturally textured, or grown longer, it's all in pursuit of my own whims and desires, and that makes me feel a bit more headstrong.

Corvana
December 5th, 2020, 12:20 AM
Hmmm... I don't think it's changed anything too strongly in terms of like... self-esteem or anything. But with short hair I tended to feel like I had more of a sexy, peppy vibe. With mid-length hair (shoulder to BSL or so) I felt cool and suave, and now with quite long hair (from about hip to now) I feel ethereal and more witchy. And since I'm really enjoying that vibe, I've been having a lovely time of it!

Ylva
December 5th, 2020, 12:09 PM
I don't like "regular" hair, I feel not like myself. I like this "weird" characteristic of my aesthetic. On the contrary of what other said, on me I don't find it feminine by itself, at least not when down (that's why I'm not a big fan of updos). I find it more wild than feminine.

I relate to this a lot. Indeed; long hair has a wild, untamed vibe to it, for me.

I don't think having long hair has changed my self-image but it's helped me make peace with it. I'm an accidental longhair; I was one as a child as well but eventually it grew back out during an extremely difficult period in my life when I completely isolated myself from everything and everyone. That time of my life really laid the foundation for who I was to become as a person later on, and I feel that my having long hair is a representation of my personal journey (which only a handful know of). It's a reminder of how I survived something which many others wouldn't have.

In addition to that, long hair has to do with being a metalhead, of course. :rockerdud

Eve-Jade-Day
December 8th, 2020, 12:50 PM
In addition to that, long hair has to do with being a metalhead, of course. :rockerdud

I'm looking forward to being able to properly headbang at the rock fest next year LOL

ExpectoPatronum
December 8th, 2020, 05:26 PM
This is an interesting thread!

When I had shorter hair, I didn't really like how I looked. It was fun in the sense that my curls looked awesome and I got compliments on my hair all the time, but I still didn't like the length and how it made me look.

Now that my hair is longer, I'm starting to feel like I am beautiful. I'm starting to feel like I look like how I want to look. I really like this change in my self-confidence and I'm eager to see if it grows as my hair continues to grow.

Note: I am not saying short hair isn't beautiful - it definitely is! I just don't think it flatters my face.

Hairkay
December 8th, 2020, 06:08 PM
I've never kept hair really short before. Mine is more medium and since I have a lot of shrinkage sometimes I or others didn't notice when it got longer unless I tugged it or was in the shower. The ratio of shrinkage has changed with longer hair being slightly heavier now. My self esteem is the same regardless if my hair is medium or longer.