Looking for advice from people who ONLY detangle in the shower

[xoAshley]

So I’m trying to give up brushing / finger combing between washes because even the most gentle detangling is causing issues in my hair I’m trying to rehabilitate from previous hard water issues. I received some advice on here to leave my 2A hair be until wash day, detangle with conditioner, and let my wavy clumps dry as they wish and do not touch again until the next wash day.

For anyone else who does this, how does it work for you and how do you prevent tangles between wash days? Do you find you get less breakage / damage by letting your hair do what it wants until wash day?

[Firefox7275]

Sorry to read that you are dealing with damage not of your own making.

I have done no dry brushing or dry combing at all for two periods in my life, separated by a couple of decades.

1. Peroxide-only lightened & curly permed (did not know I am a wavy!)
2. Peroxide-only lightened & loosely following the Curly Girl method.

Two things in common - both times I left a creamy conditioner in to tame the pouf or frizz. Both times I disposed of my hairbrush and only had very wide tooth combs/ picks to hand.

I certainly had less mechanical damage during those periods than at other times. I have a history of causing mechanical damage (rough brushing, finger combing, twirling excessively). :o

The conditioner that is left in limits tangles and reduces damage generally. As soon as my hair is soaked with water the conditioner is 'reactivated'. I have always used some sort of leave-in detangler or light conditioner, even if not always creamy (eg. spray, mousse).

Currently I am dry combing but primarily with a very wide tooth, double row comb, and primarily to get my hair into a bun.

https://www.walmart.com/ip/Cantu-Sturdy-Double-Lift-Pick/479500435

Double row combs seem gentler than finger combing and more effective than a single row comb. If my ends are grabby or tangly I use a couple of drops of fractionated coconut oil.

Hope something there helps!

[Fimu]

Currently I am dry combing but primarily with a very wide tooth, double row comb, and primarily to get my hair into a bun.

https://www.walmart.com/ip/Cantu-Sturdy-Double-Lift-Pick/479500435

Double row combs seem gentler than finger combing and more effective than a single row comb. If my ends are grabby or tangly I use a couple of drops of fractionated coconut oil.

Not OP, but I'm surprised about double-row combs being more gentle than fingers, though maybe this experience is more relevant for waves than for curls.

Do you also use that comb for wet detangling or do you only use fingers when wet?

[Firefox7275]

Not OP, but I'm surprised about double-row combs being more gentle than fingers, though maybe this experience is more relevant for waves than for curls.

Do you also use that comb for wet detangling or do you only use fingers when wet?

You could read some old reviews?

Ouidad used to make a double row comb as did Goody (marketed as a shower detangler), Dimples market theirs as an afro comb, and this Cantu is marketed to tightly curlies/ kinky coilies (but only as a root pick).

The teeth are much smaller than fingers, and the staggered placement is like the popular detangling brushes. My hair is more tangly/ grabby when dry not so much wet. I only really use this type of comb on wet hair if I am flipping upside down/ right side up.

I will post some links to these other combs I mean if I can find them.

[Firefox7275]

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Ouidad-Double-Detangler-Comb-Count/dp/B002HM1ONG

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Conair-Styling-Essentials-Detangling-Detangle/dp/B001T8MA1Y

[Servana]

I have 2a hair and tried this for a month not long ago because it's apparently terrible to brush wavy hair. Well it definitely did not work.

I wash my hair every other day, sometimes every two days if I'm extremely lazy. What I did was shampoo my hair, then put in a hair mask and let that sit for a few minutes, then use my fingers to detangle in small sections. Because I wasn't detangling my hair at any other time, it meant almost all my shedding was done in the shower. It was a lot of hair!

Also my scalp suffered severely. I have super thick hair and I've always had trouble being able to reach my scalp with brushes. Therefore, I tend towards some itchiness when my scalp isn't properly extoliated. Well despite massaging my scalp a lot, it was NOT happy with the lack of stimulation. It really likes a daily (gentle) scraping with a brush. Fingers weren't enough and not only did my scalp get very itchy, but it also started getting a lot of painful lumps.

My hair in general was not happy and it just didn't look good at all. It was always flat and looked messy. Finger combing might be okay for thinner or straighter hair but it's not enough to make thick hair presentable.

My 2A hair does best with daily brushing on dry hair. It may be considered a sin on LHC but the brushes with the plastic balls on the end are what really works best for my scalp and hair. No damage and keeps my hair looking neat.

YMMV so try the no brushing thing for yourself and see how you go. Make sure to use a lot of deep conditioners, hair masks, oils, etc.

[xoAshley]

Sorry to read that you are dealing with damage not of your own making.

I have done no dry brushing or dry combing at all for two periods in my life, separated by a couple of decades.

1. Peroxide-only lightened & curly permed (did not know I am a wavy!)
2. Peroxide-only lightened & loosely following the Curly Girl method.

Two things in common - both times I left a creamy conditioner in to tame the pouf or frizz. Both times I disposed of my hairbrush and only had very wide tooth combs/ picks to hand.

I certainly had less mechanical damage during those periods than at other times. I have a history of causing mechanical damage (rough brushing, finger combing, twirling excessively). :o

The conditioner that is left in limits tangles and reduces damage generally. As soon as my hair is soaked with water the conditioner is 'reactivated'. I have always used some sort of leave-in detangler or light conditioner, even if not always creamy (eg. spray, mousse).

Currently I am dry combing but primarily with a very wide tooth, double row comb, and primarily to get my hair into a bun.

https://www.walmart.com/ip/Cantu-Sturdy-Double-Lift-Pick/479500435

Double row combs seem gentler than finger combing and more effective than a single row comb. If my ends are grabby or tangly I use a couple of drops of fractionated coconut oil.

Hope something there helps!

Thank you! Glad to hear that the times you used this method, it worked for you. I will keep all this in mind for sure.

[xoAshley]

I have 2a hair and tried this for a month not long ago because it's apparently terrible to brush wavy hair. Well it definitely did not work.

I wash my hair every other day, sometimes every two days if I'm extremely lazy. What I did was shampoo my hair, then put in a hair mask and let that sit for a few minutes, then use my fingers to detangle in small sections. Because I wasn't detangling my hair at any other time, it meant almost all my shedding was done in the shower. It was a lot of hair!

Also my scalp suffered severely. I have super thick hair and I've always had trouble being able to reach my scalp with brushes. Therefore, I tend towards some itchiness when my scalp isn't properly extoliated. Well despite massaging my scalp a lot, it was NOT happy with the lack of stimulation. It really likes a daily (gentle) scraping with a brush. Fingers weren't enough and not only did my scalp get very itchy, but it also started getting a lot of painful lumps.

My hair in general was not happy and it just didn't look good at all. It was always flat and looked messy. Finger combing might be okay for thinner or straighter hair but it's not enough to make thick hair presentable.

My 2A hair does best with daily brushing on dry hair. It may be considered a sin on LHC but the brushes with the plastic balls on the end are what really works best for my scalp and hair. No damage and keeps my hair looking neat.

YMMV so try the no brushing thing for yourself and see how you go. Make sure to use a lot of deep conditioners, hair masks, oils, etc.

Oh no, I’m sorry to hear this didn’t work for you. I totally understand, my hair usually loves to be brushed and it was never ever an issue until my hair met hard water and turned brittle. :/ now if I take a brush to it I end up with a gazillion little pieces of broken off ends from the dryness and damage the water caused. My hair definitely does not sound as thick as yours, so maybe it will work okay for me. I may still try to lightly brush my scalp just to distribute the oils down a bit, I think the worst problems comes from when I am brushing out my ends, even freshly trimmed they still break because most of the strand suffered from the buildup and me not realizing it for too long and continuing to brush, etc and give myself midshaft splits. :(

[lapushka]

My routine is this:

Detangle pre-wash on dry hair, sometimes I use a detangling spritz, but not often. Then I wash, and when my hair comes out the towel (30 minutes in the towel), it is damp and ready for styling, but I brush once more with my wet brush before scrunching my products in.

That is it.

I don't start finger detangling (which just means separating my hair in half, and in 3rds to smooth the shed hair out) until Thursday, sometimes even Wednesday fully because after my wash I typically don't lose a lot of hair... not immediately I mean.

So I finger detangle Thursday through Saturday. And Sunday = washday (I weekly wash).

[xoAshley]

My routine is this:

Detangle pre-wash on dry hair, sometimes I use a detangling spritz, but not often. Then I wash, and when my hair comes out the towel (30 minutes in the towel), it is damp and ready for styling, but I brush once more with my wet brush before scrunching my products in.

That is it.

I don't start finger detangling (which just means separating my hair in half, and in 3rds to smooth the shed hair out) until Thursday, sometimes even Wednesday fully because after my wash I typically don't lose a lot of hair... not immediately I mean.

So I finger detangle Thursday through Saturday. And Sunday = washday (I weekly wash).

Thank you Lapushka, I always look forward to hearing from you. You’ve been so helpful in the past. So when you finger detangle, you aren’t raking your fingers down through your hair, you’re just gently separating it sideways into a few sections? And so you just ignore any tangled areas until it’s detangle day, or do you not really get tangles to begin with?

[lapushka]

Thank you Lapushka, I always look forward to hearing from you. You’ve been so helpful in the past. So when you finger detangle, you aren’t raking your fingers down through your hair, you’re just gently separating it sideways into a few sections? And so you just ignore any tangled areas until it’s detangle day, or do you not really get tangles to begin with?

No! Nonono! It would be better to use a comb if I were "raking". I find fingers "raking" pulls far more seriously than a comb. I just finger "separate", I really should not call it detangling at all.

Oh I get lots of tangles throughout the week (from applying my stylers Sunday, usually). I just separate knots gently. And if I need to separate into smaller sections (which is as the week goes on), I will do that. By Sunday, most of the tangles are out so I can get a brush through it relatively easily.

So yes I "ignore" most of my tangles. Most of them fall out, or move down as the week goes on. And to wear my bun in the day, I just pull up my hair, no going through it with fingers either, and bun it as is!

Ask away should you have more questions! :D

[Feral_]

I wish I could leave mine alone more. I think I get a bit OCD about not having any knots / tangles. It needs to be smart-ish for work, so a head of unkempt hair would be unprofessional I think. Bit different when I’m dog handling, a pony or plait so it’s out of the way is needed, but it still knots in a low pony :confused:

[xoAshley]

No! Nonono! It would be better to use a comb if I were "raking". I find fingers "raking" pulls far more seriously than a comb. I just finger "separate", I really should not call it detangling at all.

Oh I get lots of tangles throughout the week (from applying my stylers Sunday, usually). I just separate knots gently. And if I need to separate into smaller sections (which is as the week goes on), I will do that. By Sunday, most of the tangles are out so I can get a brush through it relatively easily.

So yes I "ignore" most of my tangles. Most of them fall out, or move down as the week goes on. And to wear my bun in the day, I just pull up my hair, no going through it with fingers either, and bun it as is!

Ask away should you have more questions! :D

Oh gosh, now I feel like I’ve been causing myself more damage than I needed to. I wasn’t combing through my hair with my fingers rough or anything, but even just gently and slowly running my hands downward and trying to detangle seemed to cause too much snapping. :shudder: separating it sideways gently in sections has been so much easier and way less issues so far. Thank goodness for this forum. I feel silly for not thinking of that before. I am also breaking the habit of running my fingers through my hair to put it up, as that was something I’d always do too!

Thank you. I am hopeful that these methods will really help me slow down the breakage and be able to keep growing long and get back to healthy hair again.

[Lady Stardust]

It makes a big difference to me if I wash my hair standing in the shower, rather than upside down. If I’m standing, I can just detangle with conditioner, rinse it out, smooth leave in conditioner over, and wrap a towel around. That way, my hair forms locks and stays in them, pretty much.

If I wash it upside down, my hair does form locks but they get more tangled. If I’m trying to minimise detangling I make a point of washing right way up!

If I find there is a particular lock of hair that is too tangly on the ends, I might gently detangle that by pulling it apart gently, but still keeping that lock separate from the others. If I found that different locks were tangling together I would probably give up and detangle all of them :)

I generally don’t scrunch, and that might make a difference. My hair definitely tangles more when I scrunch. Then again, the waves look nice so it’s easy to ignore the tangles and leave them alone so I don’t mess them up :)

[Feral_]

It makes a big difference to me if I wash my hair standing in the shower, rather than upside down. If I’m standing, I can just detangle with conditioner, rinse it out, smooth leave in conditioner over, and wrap a towel around. That way, my hair forms locks and stays in them, pretty much.

If I wash it upside down, my hair does form locks but they get more tangled. If I’m trying to minimise detangling I make a point of washing right way up!

If I find there is a particular lock of hair that is too tangly on the ends, I might gently detangle that by pulling it apart gently, but still keeping that lock separate from the others. If I found that different locks were tangling together I would probably give up and detangle all of them :)

I generally don’t scrunch, and that might make a difference. My hair definitely tangles more when I scrunch. Then again, the waves look nice so it’s easy to ignore the tangles and leave them alone so I don’t mess them up :)

That’s worth knowing about the upside down thing because I flip my hair to wash underneath and have found more tangles when I release it from my turban towel afterwards. If I don’t comb through my length but scrunch it I get the loveliest waves but they’re tangled. Hmmm....

[Tinyponies]

Love this thread and am finding lots of useful things to think on.

My 2a waves are behaving well now and I only tease out the shed hairs that are hanging out and leave the rest alone bar giving it a gentle swish before I bun again.

Here’s my current work-in-progress tangle minimising routine thing:

I give it a dry comb (wide tooth wooden) and a brush with tangle teezer now only before my weekly wash (usually c-roo-c).

I brush it again with TT when slathered with conditioner (upside down as I’m limited to a bucket right now), then when I’m done I put a teeny bit of leave in (it’s all hair food), then flip and shake it out, and then split it in two, bring to the front and brush it so it’s all going the right direction while it’s still soaking wet.

Then I dip my lengths back in the water to fake it as if I did the whole thing standing up :lol:

Then give it a gentle squeeze and wrap head with T-shirt.

Disclaimer I don’t wear my hair down for more than 5 min at a time, to pose in the mirror :rollin: it’s always in a bun.

But my hair has never ever been so happy.

[xoAshley]

It makes a big difference to me if I wash my hair standing in the shower, rather than upside down. If I’m standing, I can just detangle with conditioner, rinse it out, smooth leave in conditioner over, and wrap a towel around. That way, my hair forms locks and stays in them, pretty much.

If I wash it upside down, my hair does form locks but they get more tangled. If I’m trying to minimise detangling I make a point of washing right way up!

If I find there is a particular lock of hair that is too tangly on the ends, I might gently detangle that by pulling it apart gently, but still keeping that lock separate from the others. If I found that different locks were tangling together I would probably give up and detangle all of them :)

I generally don’t scrunch, and that might make a difference. My hair definitely tangles more when I scrunch. Then again, the waves look nice so it’s easy to ignore the tangles and leave them alone so I don’t mess them up :)

Thank you :) Yes, I definitely can not wash upside down. I never have been able to. Tangle city! I always wash right side up.

And thank you for the detangling tips!!! That makes total sense for us wavys.

[xoAshley]

Love this thread and am finding lots of useful things to think on.

My 2a waves are behaving well now and I only tease out the shed hairs that are hanging out and leave the rest alone bar giving it a gentle swish before I bun again.

Here’s my current work-in-progress tangle minimising routine thing:

I give it a dry comb (wide tooth wooden) and a brush with tangle teezer now only before my weekly wash (usually c-roo-c).

I brush it again with TT when slathered with conditioner (upside down as I’m limited to a bucket right now), then when I’m done I put a teeny bit of leave in (it’s all hair food), then flip and shake it out, and then split it in two, bring to the front and brush it so it’s all going the right direction while it’s still soaking wet.

Then I dip my lengths back in the water to fake it as if I did the whole thing standing up :lol:

Then give it a gentle squeeze and wrap head with T-shirt.

Disclaimer I don’t wear my hair down for more than 5 min at a time, to pose in the mirror :rollin: it’s always in a bun.

But my hair has never ever been so happy.

Thank you for sharing your routine!! It’s so helpful to see how other wavys care for their hair. And LOL about the posing in the mirror!! I think all of us here are guilty of that. :lol:

[MusicalSpoons]

Disclaimer I don’t wear my hair down for more than 5 min at a time, to pose in the mirror :rollin: it’s always in a bun.



:applause absolutely perfect wording! Sums up a large number of us very nicely :D

[squirrrel]

Thank you :) Yes, I definitely can not wash upside down. I never have been able to. Tangle city! I always wash right side up.

And thank you for the detangling tips!!! That makes total sense for us wavys.

this might be my issue. No shower in my flat (rented) I have a shower head attachment for the bath though, and use that to wash my hair when kneeling at the side. I would have to get very creative to avoid getting water all over the bathroom floor, and myself, if I were to try it up the right way. I might be able to sit on the side of the bath and try it that way. I will occasionally wash my hair when having the bath, but only occasionally.

[shelomit]

I've been semi-accidentally doing this in my recent period of homelessness--it just wasn't worth the hassle of trying to detangle my hair when I wasn't washing it. It wasn't anything very special: just wetting my hair, putting on conditioner, combing, , and another, much lighter combing after my hair was rinsed. Then up and away with it until the next time I had access to a shower.

More or less damage than usual? Hard to say. When my hair dries, it is DRY, and also prone to frizziness. Whether finger-combing, combing, brushing, or whatever, I always loose some hair trying to detangle it dry. But detangling it wet, there's less evidence of how much hair I may be losing, since it sort of gathers all together on the comb rather than me pulling loose hairs out of the mass one by one as I would finger-detangling. All in all, I'd guess it's about equal. It's certainly less of an investment of time to detangle only on wash day rather than every day!

I don't really wear my hair down except when washing it, and I typically wear a headscarf on top of it. All that certainly helps when it comes to preventing tangling, regardless of how or how often I detangle. The baby hairs frizz and catch, though, no matter [I]what I do.

[lapushka]

Oh gosh, now I feel like I’ve been causing myself more damage than I needed to. I wasn’t combing through my hair with my fingers rough or anything, but even just gently and slowly running my hands downward and trying to detangle seemed to cause too much snapping. :shudder: separating it sideways gently in sections has been so much easier and way less issues so far. Thank goodness for this forum. I feel silly for not thinking of that before. I am also breaking the habit of running my fingers through my hair to put it up, as that was something I’d always do too!

Thank you. I am hopeful that these methods will really help me slow down the breakage and be able to keep growing long and get back to healthy hair again.

I hope so too, and I hope you like doing it that way as well, because that is also a thing. Often it is up to preference. :)