What do people assume about you because of your hair?

[Ylva]

What do people assume about you because of your hair?

For me, the most common assumption I seem to encounter is that because of the length of my hair, I must appreciate traditional gender roles, strive for "classic female beauty", that I am generally old-fashioned, or that I am Christian. None of that is accurate (unless you consider medieval reenactment to be "old-fashioned").

Oh, and of course the classic, "You must go through a lot of shampoo!"

[pisinoe]

That I spend a lot on hair care products and go through tons of conditioner, and it’s true! Hehe

[SleepyTangles]

They used to assume that I was a very traditional, religious girl! Which is somewhat true but also very wrong ;)...
I also seemed to attract very traditional young men with my opposite political opinions. Which could lead to fairly embarassing situations.

[SleepyTangles]

None of that is accurate (unless you consider medieval reenactment to be "old-fashioned").


It's the latest fashion... Of 1200 A.D. ;)!
No, seriously... reenactment is so cool!

[Bri-Chan]

My hair is still not long enough to be eye-catching (at least, where I live) so I don't receive so much feedback about it. But, people watching my hair sometimes assume I don't care that much about my hair because it's bleached or the opposite thing: people think that I take a lot of care of my hair, because it's bleached but doesn't look bad.
Sometimes people assume that I use all organic beauty products because here a lot of longhaired avoid any kind of cones, like it's possible to have long and beautiful hair only with organic product.

It will be funny to see how (and if) things will change with a more impressive length.

[YvetteVarie]

That since I do not relax my hair bone straight and I don't get extensions or weaves, I belong to a certain local Christian denomination. Noe, I'm a regular Catholic, and I don't usually get fake hair because I'm allergic to it

[cestlavie]

I have a septum piercing, tattoos, stretched ears, and in combination with my long(ish) hair people assume I'm vegan/feminist/hippy (wouldn't call myself that lol). I heard that a lot during my study.

[MidnightMoon]

I don't really know... they don't tell me. I guess when I had it dyed black, that I was goth, but that's not far from the truth, and it had more to do with my clothes and music taste anyways.
Now it's orange, still long, and nobody comments anything. One guy asked if I was Dutch, but nothing besides that.

[Tinyponies]

I could guess, but I don’t know because during my life I’ve never been around people who really comment on my appearance, apart from when I was younger / more insecure I was bullied a lot for my very androgynous appearance. Back then I also had straight, long brown hair that I always wore down and people would often shout “hippy” but that would have been the early ‘90s, the fallout from the hippies and the punks and I think that mentality may be less common nowadays.

[Ylva]

It's the latest fashion... Of 1200 A.D. ;)!
No, seriously... reenactment is so cool!

Oh, I'm not quite that modern! Mostly around 1000 AD. :D

[cjk]

Hippie or biker for the most part.

And mechanically handy. I think the assumptions go together.

I'm not mechanically handy, great with computers and electronic systems but I just learned how to clean a carburetor this year.

[Bellalla]

When I had waist length, stawberry blonde, very wavy hair a few years ago, people assumed I was very young, shy, and wholesome.
They were painfully wrong.

[spidermom]

What other people assume about me is none of my business.

[Sarahlabyrinth]

Nobody tells me what they assume about me so I don't know. :laugh:

[blackgothicdoll]

That it's a weave.

[shutterpillar]

They used to assume that I was a very traditional, religious girl! Which is somewhat true but also very wrong ;)...
I also seemed to attract very traditional young men with my opposite political opinions. Which could lead to fairly embarassing situations.


I remedy this by having a vast array of tattoos. :hollie:

[Ylva]

I remedy this by having a vast array of tattoos. :hollie:

That's the path I'm headed down as well! :D

[Hairkay]

That since I do not relax my hair bone straight and I don't get extensions or weaves, I belong to a certain local Christian denomination. Noe, I'm a regular Catholic, and I don't usually get fake hair because I'm allergic to it

I also never ventured the hair extension route or perms due to allergies. Most of my family wore their hair natural anyway so that's my norm and way of life. People haven't said anything to me personally about keeping my hair naturally kinky curly. I have heard or seen that some others can make assumptions about your political views, environmental views, diet, religion, socio-economic status, self esteem or even personal hygiene just because my hair care does not conform to certain standards.

[SleepyTangles]

I remedy this by having a vast array of tattoos. :hollie:

Two birds with one stone :agree:!

[jane_marie]

What other people assume about me is none of my business.

Ha! I also came here to say this. :)

[Ylva]

Just to clarify, this thread is just for fun. It doesn't come with the ASSUMPTION that you spend your life asking people what they think about you. Sometimes stuff just comes up in whatever context.

[Belgrade Beauty]

They usually tell me to cut it, but I don't really know if they have assumptions about my personality based on my hair. I got a few 'you must be using a ton of products' or 'it's so soft,you must be spending a lot of time on it'...

[jane_marie]

Alright joking aside...

People don't really talk to me about my hair or anything else really. So, I guess, for me it doesn't come up. :)

ETA - I have had the "You must use a lot of shampoo" thing but that has been happening for most of my life. Really, it's conditioner I go through a ton of.

[cjk]

What other people assume about me is none of my business.

It's none of their business.

But in my own case, knowing the assumptions they make about me is very useful.

Information is power.

For instance, the assumption that I'm gay. It's always a fun one.

[AmaryllisRed]

I'm glad I'm not the only one who came here to say, I really have no idea.
I am a person who keeps a few close friends. My friends and family have known me with hair short and long and no conversation has come up like, "When I first met you, I thought you were..." I'm very sensitive anyway and any such conversation would likely make me cry.

I have had elementary teachers think I didn't like them and many years ago I had people tell me they thought I was stuck up before they got to know me. (Nope. Just very, very shy.) But those assumptions weren't based on my hair.

[Reyn127]

Before they know how long it is, I think people assume it’s just average - or, they don’t think anything of it, because it’s in a bun almost all the time. Once they see it down they are usually shocked/impressed. And then I think that people generally think I must put a lot of time and care into it :misskim::lol: (which I kind of don’t)

[Servana]

I don't think it's just because of my hair but rather my overall appearance (I guess?), but people see me as someone who's very 'natural'. As in loves fitness, organic stuff, is a health nut who lives by the coast and has an eco friendly lifestyle. And they're absolutely right lol.

No one has said it outright but I'm guessing it's the combination of long healthy hair, no makeup, always very casual clothes and a pretty fit physique. I think if I cut my hair the assumption would still stand though!

[lapushka]

I never (almost) go out. So I never get comments. I don't think I ever had one. Yes my mom, who likes my hair much better "clipped up" on wash day (with the texture showing quite well), rather than bunned. She thinks it is much more "strict" when it's in a bun. But yeah, buns, sorry mom, are a lot easier on my head. :)

[TatsuOni]

Few people knows how long it is and when they get to know it, they usually know me at least a bit.

But they do assume that it must take forever to braid it.

Some people also ask me what shampoo I use since my hair is so shiny. Why do they assume that it's because of a shampoo, when I haven't used any for years? :laugh:

Some people also assume that I must have someone who does some of my updos for me, because they look so advanced :laugh:

[Lucy McLucyFace]

The things people assume about me are usually true so I suppose it doesn't make much of a difference for me :shrug:

[harpgal]

Haha! This is a good question! About the only thing I hear is...”you must be an old hippie”. Well, they got the “old” part right. Basically, I don't pay much attention to what others say.

[MusicalSpoons]

Years ago, I used to like long skirts but the styles and colours I liked were quite heavy materials (and I'm always cold so they were useful for hiding multiple layers of tights and leggings and yes, even trousers underneath in winter). I also used to wear my hair in a half-up once a week when I wasn't on playground duty at school, so I didn't have to go outside during the workday. When a hair-down day coincided with wearing a skirt, I occasionally got people asking me on my way to or from work if I were a member of the Plymouth Brethren :lol: never mind that I never wore demin, nor the bandana-type head covering that characterises their attire!

For a few years before I was mostly housebound, the people who saw the length already knew me. I guess now on a rare venture out of the house (like, once or twice a month on average in normal times) if anything, people would assume my hair is much shorter than it is because it compresses a lot. In absolute terms, my buns are no longer tiny, but they are still puny in relation to the length. People are much more likely to notice my wheelchair than my hair, though if the length weren't in danger of getting tangled around the wheels it could be quite confounding to let it loose in front of anyone staring and zoom away :cheese::wigtongue

[JennGalt]

That I didn’t put any effort into my hair because it’s so wild and voluminous. Or because it doesn’t really do that sleek bun look—there’s always some curls or frizz poking out. Because apparently curly hair should behave just like straight hair :crazyq:


That it's a weave.

Yep. I get this too.

[leayellena]

people assume that long hair or buns + round face = looking older. IDK I always hear that I look like I am 14-15 years old.

[Chromis]

They generally assume I must be pretty awesome.


Happily, some assumptions are true :cheese:

[YvetteVarie]

I also never ventured the hair extension route or perms due to allergies. Most of my family wore their hair natural anyway so that's my norm and way of life. People haven't said anything to me personally about keeping my hair naturally kinky curly. I have heard or seen that some others can make assumptions about your political views, environmental views, diet, religion, socio-economic status, self esteem or even personal hygiene just because my hair care does not conform to certain standards.

These assumptions happened to me a lot before the natural hair movement became mainstream here.Now, people just comment on how long my hair is, and want to know my secrets

[Elodea]

Maybe this isn't quite an assumption like some of the others, but if I wear my hair in only a certain style around a given person or in a given setting, then I guess those people probably assume that particular style is how I always wear my hair, even if I do sometimes wear other hairstyles (but that they just haven't seen me wearing). I was thinking about this recently and asked one person I know about it, and they confirmed that they do envision me with the particular hairstyle I wore when I've seen them, but I don't know for sure about what other people think.

[MusicalSpoons]

Maybe this isn't quite an assumption like some of the others, but if I wear my hair in only a certain style around a given person or in a given setting, then I guess those people probably assume that particular style is how I always wear my hair, even if I do sometimes wear other hairstyles (but that they just haven't seen me wearing). I was thinking about this recently and asked one person I know about it, and they confirmed that they do envision me with the particular hairstyle I wore when I've seen them, but I don't know for sure about what other people think.

YES this definitely happens. Even for me, if there are people who wear mainly one style it definitely becomes associated with them in my mind, and seeing anything different on them is a surprise. I used to work with lots of Muslim ladies and in my hair-focused mind I knew who always wore a plait underneath their hijab, who always had their hair loose underneath, who always had it in a ponytail, etc. :grin:

[wo]

When I had waist length, stawberry blonde, very wavy hair a few years ago, people assumed I was very young, shy, and wholesome.
They were painfully wrong.

This cracked me up. 🤣

[Hairkay]

That it's a weave.
I have had someone make that comment around me once.

That I didn’t put any effort into my hair because it’s so wild and voluminous. Or because it doesn’t really do that sleek bun look—there’s always some curls or frizz poking out. Because apparently curly hair should behave just like straight hair :crazyq:
Yep. I get this too.
I could spend all day on my hair and it won't look that neat. It takes a lot of gel or flat irons or straight perms to get the nearest to straight and sleek. Those techniques and products cause to much problems for my skin so they're not an option.

people assume that long hair or buns + round face = looking older. IDK I always hear that I look like I am 14-15 years old.
I can relate. Everyone apart from my family assumed I was a teen even when I got to 30.

These assumptions happened to me a lot before the natural hair movement became mainstream here.Now, people just comment on how long my hair is, and want to know my secrets

It's nice how things change.

Oh and there's the questions of asking where I am from or what's my ancestory just based on my hair.

[Elodea]

YES this definitely happens. Even for me, if there are people who wear mainly one style it definitely becomes associated with them in my mind, and seeing anything different on them is a surprise. I used to work with lots of Muslim ladies and in my hair-focused mind I knew who always wore a plait underneath their hijab, who always had their hair loose underneath, who always had it in a ponytail, etc. :grin:

Glad I'm not the only one this happens with -- it was sort of interesting to me to think about because I see myself wearing all sorts of different hairstyles, yet some people have only seen me wearing certain ones and that's what their perception of me is. However, I don't think I've really noticed the same thing happening with my perceptions of other people's hair(styles), at least not in exactly the same way. Oh, well, actually, there is one person I can think of: a waitress at a restaurant I went to frequently. On the times I saw her, she seemed to always be wearing double dutch braids. I think there was one day I was there and I was wearing the same hairstyle as her.

[Kat]

Based on the questions I've had in the past, they seem to tend to have romantic ideas that my hair is long for religious reasons, or that I've never ever cut it and it's always been long, or that every woman in my family has long hair (none of these are true).



When I had waist length, stawberry blonde, very wavy hair a few years ago, people assumed I was very young, shy, and wholesome.
They were painfully wrong.

I get that anyway, because I look like a dumb church-choir girl (okay, that's not far off, but that's not even remotely ALL of what I am, and I used to be smarter before my job destroyed my cognition). A couple weeks ago I had a yarn paranda braided into my hair, and an acquaintance was like, "at first I thought you had dyed a blue streak into your hair, but you don't strike me as that type at ALL" and I actually sort of felt offended as I corrected him that one of the only reasons I don't dye my hair fun colors is because of the bleaching that would be required (both to achieve it, and when I wanted to change colors).



What other people assume about me is none of my business.
I usually consider that what other people assume about me is none of their business, either...

(But since what people assume about me can affect how they treat me, sometimes very highly to my detriment, I absolutely think it's definitely my business, if for no other reason than because they make it so.)



It's none of their business.

But in my own case, knowing the assumptions they make about me is very useful.

Information is power.

For instance, the assumption that I'm gay. It's always a fun one.

Yes, for example. Would kind of illustrate my sentence above. Now, in and of itself, I really don't care if people think I'm gay, especially if they're complete strangers. However. I'm aware that in some circles, that assumption could literally get me killed or injured or severely harassed. And on a lighter note, I'm also aware that if men all assume I don't like men, it's unlikely any would ever ask me out even if they were into me... That's an extreme example, but you get the idea.



Few people knows how long it is and when they get to know it, they usually know me at least a bit.

But they do assume that it must take forever to braid it.

Some people also ask me what shampoo I use since my hair is so shiny. Why do they assume that it's because of a shampoo, when I haven't used any for years? :laugh:

Some people also assume that I must have someone who does some of my updos for me, because they look so advanced :laugh:

LOL, OMG, yes.
Them (tone of awe): "How long does it take to braid your hair?"
Me: "Like five minutes" *bursting their bubble*
Them (still tone of awe): "Wooooowwww..."

or

Them: "Who braids your hair for you?"
Me: "...I do?" Like, who's going to do it for me? I had to let my lady's maid go due to the recession...



People are much more likely to notice my wheelchair than my hair, though if the length weren't in danger of getting tangled around the wheels it could be quite confounding to let it loose in front of anyone staring and zoom away :cheese::wigtongue

I'm having a mental image of you, comic-book-style, riding off into the sunset at a high rate of speed with your hair streaming out behind you... :rolling:

[MusicalSpoons]

I'm having a mental image of you, comic-book-style, riding off into the sunset at a high rate of speed with your hair streaming out behind you... :rolling:

That's sometimes the mental image I have myself :rollin: unfortunately the max speed is 4mph, but it's fun to pretend! :bounce:

[Ylva]

This is not directly about me, but I know someone who thinks that women (or all people? I don't know because he mostly judges what women do) who dye their hair unnatural colours are somehow damaged in the head and that their behavior is unnatural and that it's deterring partners.

Honestly, it makes me want to dye my hair an unnatural colour if it works to deter people who think that way.

He has respect for me because, in his words, I'm intelligent and think with my own brain, but that has nothing to do with my decision to not dye my hair unnatural colours, and I am not forever against that anyway. It's just baffling to me that something as trivial as dyeing my hair a fun colour could be enough to change his opinion about me completely.

[Iyashikei]

Can people really think hair color is somehow indicative of mental health? And I thought I had a lively imagination.

On topic: I have no clue. I imagine they think I don't give a damn about how I look or personal hygiene or something.

[TheLuckyLurker]

Sounds like one of those people who insist anyone who has unnatural hair colors, piercing, tattoos, etc. is just doing it for attention. Just waiting for a chance to be Offended when somebody stares or comments about their appearance. Funny, I thought I got a septum piercing because I like the way it looks, but apparently I'm just an attention w***e.

[MusicalSpoons]

This is not directly about me, but I know someone who thinks that women (or all people? I don't know because he mostly judges what women do) who dye their hair unnatural colours are somehow damaged in the head and that their behavior is unnatural and that it's deterring partners.

Honestly, it makes me want to dye my hair an unnatural colour if it works to deter people who think that way.


Bahaha, so hair dye is automatically filtering out the kind of person women don't want for a partner :lol:


Can people really think hair color is somehow indicative of mental health? And I thought I had a lively imagination.

On topic: I have no clue. I imagine they think I don't give a damn about how I look or personal hygiene or something.


Sounds like one of those people who insist anyone who has unnatural hair colors, piercing, tattoos, etc. is just doing it for attention. Just waiting for a chance to be Offended when somebody stares or comments about their appearance. Funny, I thought I got a septum piercing because I like the way it looks, but apparently I'm just an attention w***e.

I used to believe that those who dyed their hair - any colour, but especially unusual colours - were very unhappy people with very low self-esteem and were trying desperately to make themselves feel better, especially if they changed their hair colour reasonably often - because that's all I'd known from the people I personally knew who dyed their hair. Either they were angsty teens who followed various trends while hating themselves, or they were women going grey who felt societal pressure that going grey was unacceptable. Now I know better; although mental health problems *can* of course be manifest in frequent drastic hair changes, some people just like changing things up and having fun with their hair, just like some people might experiment with different makeup looks or different outfits. Being on LHC, I've learned not to assume!

The other thing was, the men whom I'd encountered with long hair (and beards) really did not care about hygiene and their hair was only long because they couldn't be bothered to cut it or look after it or keep it clean, so I used to be one of those people who went on to make the assumption that all men with long hair (and beards) were like that. I remember very clearly the first time that assumption was challenged: My desk partner in youth orchestra started growing his hair because he couldn't be bothered to cut it, but he wasn't smelly and his hair was clean. When he left the orchestra his hair was probably around shoulder length, and the next time I saw him was in the audience of a concert probably a year or more later. I don't know exactly how long it was but it was beautiful and shiny and looked far better than mine ever had! (With beards, a couple of my schoolfriends grew them because they couldn't be bothered to shave over a school holiday, but one decided he really liked it so kept it - he washed it, kept it neat and looked after it, so that was the first time I personally knew anyone who challenged my prior assumption). It really did highlight to me how much our thinking and beliefs are shaped by our childhood experiences though.

[I also have since realised that my childhood best friend's dad had a beard and was hygienic, but he was one of two people to still scare me into adulthood so in my mind he didn't count as anyone to make me rethink my assumption!]

[EdG]

Dianyla had a great quote: The hair is a warning! :cheese:

The context was me saying that my long-ago girlfriend wanted a long haired man because long-haired men were different. :)
Ed

[Hellebore]

Because of my length I don't do ponytails anymore and am strictly in buns or braids for work. Coupled with my uniform I look very serious and severe, like a cop or a librarian who is seconds away from shushing you.

I have been told many times that people assumed I was mean, cold, or overly serious when they first met me and were surprised to learn that I'm none of these things (unless you ask my ex-husband, who less-than-affectionately called me "Ice Queen" during our separation).

[Strawonaberry]

The last time I told someone I was an art student, they said "Oh yeah I guessed so because of your pink hair" lol

[Iyashikei]

Bahaha, so hair dye is automatically filtering out the kind of person women don't want for a partner :lol:





I used to believe that those who dyed their hair - any colour, but especially unusual colours - were very unhappy people with very low self-esteem and were trying desperately to make themselves feel better, especially if they changed their hair colour reasonably often - because that's all I'd known from the people I personally knew who dyed their hair. Either they were angsty teens who followed various trends while hating themselves, or they were women going grey who felt societal pressure that going grey was unacceptable. Now I know better; although mental health problems *can* of course be manifest in frequent drastic hair changes, some people just like changing things up and having fun with their hair, just like some people might experiment with different makeup looks or different outfits. Being on LHC, I've learned not to assume!

The other thing was, the men whom I'd encountered with long hair (and beards) really did not care about hygiene and their hair was only long because they couldn't be bothered to cut it or look after it or keep it clean, so I used to be one of those people who went on to make the assumption that all men with long hair (and beards) were like that. I remember very clearly the first time that assumption was challenged: My desk partner in youth orchestra started growing his hair because he couldn't be bothered to cut it, but he wasn't smelly and his hair was clean. When he left the orchestra his hair was probably around shoulder length, and the next time I saw him was in the audience of a concert probably a year or more later. I don't know exactly how long it was but it was beautiful and shiny and looked far better than mine ever had! (With beards, a couple of my schoolfriends grew them because they couldn't be bothered to shave over a school holiday, but one decided he really liked it so kept it - he washed it, kept it neat and looked after it, so that was the first time I personally knew anyone who challenged my prior assumption). It really did highlight to me how much our thinking and beliefs are shaped by our childhood experiences though.

[I also have since realised that my childhood best friend's dad had a beard and was hygienic, but he was one of two people to still scare me into adulthood so in my mind he didn't count as anyone to make me rethink my assumption!]

Yeah, there ARE indeed men with long hair who don't care about hygiene. I personally know at least one guy like that. But on the other hand some short haired men are like that as well. I've also known a girl who cut her own wrists when she was a teen but she only started coloring her hair when she became mentally healthy again. My views mostly come from my youth, when emo's reigned supreme. We were mostly seen as depressed by adults but most of us really weren't. We were sensitive, shy and introverted but that doesn't make for depression. I must say I never once looked like an emo though.

[trolleypup]

I seem to have gone through the assumptions and come out the other side...too long for hippy, rocker, straight, wannabe other gender...I still get the uses lots of shampoo thing though.

[Longlegs]

My hair is'nt really long but I have had a lot of comments since dying it purple. 7 years ago not many people around here had unnatural colours, now it's more common I don't get as much attention. Which I did'nt want when I decided to dye it in the first place. I like the freedom of self expression with hair and jewelry.

No-one has said anything negative to my face but I have seen some people giving me weird looks and I'm assuming they are making assumptions about me ;). I just ignore it unless someone directly asks me a question.

I have been asked if I'm a vegan a few times, or if I am a hairdresser, I have a purple purse so I get a lot of "well I know what your favourite colour is"

[0xalis]

People probably assume I'm a straight woman now because a lot of LGBT people have short and/or crazy dyed hair. I'm gay and identify as cheese :cheese:
But I don't particularly Need strangers to know any of that about me, it's whatever :p

Other than that I don't think anyone would think or assume anything about me because my hair isn't particularly notable yet.
If another hair-obsessed person was looking they might assume I take good care of it, cause I do! ;)

[0xalis]

It's none of their business.

But in my own case, knowing the assumptions they make about me is very useful.

Information is power.

For instance, the assumption that I'm gay. It's always a fun one.

I have no idea why people would assume you're gay for having long hair. Every long haired man I know personally is straight, and all the gay guys I know have short to medium hair!
Edit: Actually I know One bisexual man with long hair, but that's it!

[Bri-Chan]

The last time I told someone I was an art student, they said "Oh yeah I guessed so because of your pink hair" lol

This! This for almost all my life, because I never had usual hair, for color or/and cut (until few months ago). But I think the whole look (face piercing, black dresses) suggests that assumptions. Or people used to assume that I studied japanese language when I had blue hair. But now they say that I look more like a german language 's learner lol (I study both at uni).

[Ylva]

Bahaha, so hair dye is automatically filtering out the kind of person women don't want for a partner :lol:

I used to believe that those who dyed their hair - any colour, but especially unusual colours - were very unhappy people with very low self-esteem and were trying desperately to make themselves feel better, especially if they changed their hair colour reasonably often - because that's all I'd known from the people I personally knew who dyed their hair. Either they were angsty teens who followed various trends while hating themselves, or they were women going grey who felt societal pressure that going grey was unacceptable. Now I know better; although mental health problems *can* of course be manifest in frequent drastic hair changes, some people just like changing things up and having fun with their hair, just like some people might experiment with different makeup looks or different outfits. Being on LHC, I've learned not to assume!

The other thing was, the men whom I'd encountered with long hair (and beards) really did not care about hygiene and their hair was only long because they couldn't be bothered to cut it or look after it or keep it clean, so I used to be one of those people who went on to make the assumption that all men with long hair (and beards) were like that. I remember very clearly the first time that assumption was challenged: My desk partner in youth orchestra started growing his hair because he couldn't be bothered to cut it, but he wasn't smelly and his hair was clean. When he left the orchestra his hair was probably around shoulder length, and the next time I saw him was in the audience of a concert probably a year or more later. I don't know exactly how long it was but it was beautiful and shiny and looked far better than mine ever had! (With beards, a couple of my schoolfriends grew them because they couldn't be bothered to shave over a school holiday, but one decided he really liked it so kept it - he washed it, kept it neat and looked after it, so that was the first time I personally knew anyone who challenged my prior assumption). It really did highlight to me how much our thinking and beliefs are shaped by our childhood experiences though.

[I also have since realised that my childhood best friend's dad had a beard and was hygienic, but he was one of two people to still scare me into adulthood so in my mind he didn't count as anyone to make me rethink my assumption!]

I just wanted to say that I'm really happy to hear that you were able to change those assumptions! :) Back in what I think corresponds to middle school (or is that purely an American thing? No idea, anyway, age 13-16), I knew a lot of guys like that. In fact, I think the majority of the long-haired guys in my class were exactly as you described - not taking very good care of their hygiene. :lol: But luckily, I grew up with two long-haired brothers, whose hygiene habits I don't have much memory of, but at least they very efficiently desensitised me to any and all gender and hair length assumptions.


This! This for almost all my life, because I never had usual hair, for color or/and cut (until few months ago). But I think the whole look (face piercing, black dresses) suggests that assumptions. Or people used to assume that I studied japanese language when I had blue hair. But now they say that I look more like a german language 's learner lol (I study both at uni).

Haha, now that I think about it, I don't know a single long-haired gay man either. They all have cute short cuts.

[esfand]

Stereotypes about long hair on:

White women: either Christian fundies, country bumpkins, or pagan/wiccan treehuggers, 110% heterosexual

On "ethnic" women who isn't white or black: immigrants, unless it's colored. And immigrants have the stereotype of being traditional, or being "backwards" and country bumpkin in their own ways, and they're expected to cut their hair if they're "assimilated". 110% heterosexual, nobody ever expects "ethnic" women to be gay for some reason, as if it's a physical impossibility. As if being gay is a choice and a "political statement" lol

On men (mostly negative): either an "ethnic" (native american, sikh), a social rebel or outsider (biker, hippie, rasta, artist, jobless/homeless), someone who doesn't rely on a corporate job or a career he has to groom himself for, or "doesn't have a real job" - long hair on men are judged pretty harshly overall. Oh and also, a man must be gay. I have no idea where that could've even come from.

I think whether your hair was dyed also makes a difference, and I am not just talking unnatural colors but natural ones as well. Nobody really looks at women with long (obviously) bleached hair and think "christian fundie" though if she had virgin hair, they might.

[cjk]

I have no idea why people would assume you're gay for having long hair.
...
Edit: Actually I know One bisexual man with long hair, but that's it!

I'm also short and have a slight build. In other words I'm little. Soft spoken. With a high voice.

And I gesture a lot.

Stupid stereotypes, across the board. But apparently I fill in enough of those check boxes that a lot of people assume it. Always have, my entire life.

Long hair apparently was yet another one.

I'm definitely not gay. Asexual actually, which dance place me on the rainbow. So while I do tend to show up on their gaydar, it's not a solid ping.

Always fun to watch them squirm.

They think it's rude to ask so watching them go through the mental obstacle course is particularly gratifying.

Another assumption they tend to make is that, since I'm obviously gay, I'm also gentle and harmless. Well, they're right about gentle! But I tend to be predatory.

Knowing the assumptions, understanding the place from which they originated, is an extremely useful thing. And so much fun to use against them.

[Kat]

I've also known a girl who cut her own wrists when she was a teen but she only started coloring her hair when she became mentally healthy again. My views mostly come from my youth, when emo's reigned supreme. We were mostly seen as depressed by adults but most of us really weren't. We were sensitive, shy and introverted but that doesn't make for depression. I must say I never once looked like an emo though.

I think maybe the mentally-ill thing comes about both because some people when down tend to want to make big changes? And possibly also because we hear stories like that time Britney Spears shaved her head, etc. and so people associate it.

I remember when my ex (guy I was supposed to marry) and I split up. This was not long after college, a few years after I discovered LHC. I had wanted to henna my hair red for a few years but didn't because he told me his stepdad's "crazy" ex had red hair, so his mom/stepdad wouldn't take it well if I had red hair* (they already didn't like me). So, I didn't. After we split up, I was like, "I can henna my hair now!!" and had a bunch of people saying "NO! Don't make big changes after you've had an emotional upheaval!!" I just couldn't explain to them that this wasn't me having some kind of grief "GONNA TOTALLY CHANGE MY APPEARANCE!!" moment, but was me finally able to do something I'd wanted to do for a long time but couldn't because of him, and now I wanted to because I was finally free to do so...

*I know I've talked about this before, but what is it with men's "exes" and red hair? Why is it that you always hear from/about men that you shouldn't dye your hair red because they had a redheaded ex and somehow you're going to be mentally associated with that person, to your detriment? It's never "oh don't bleach your hair, my ex was a blonde" or "put down that box of hair dye, his ex had brown hair!" And why is it you never hear that a woman with a bad ex of a certain color hair is going to be forever triggered by every (wo)man she encounters with that color hair? I mean, the thing with my ex's parents was the second time in my life I'd been told not to dye my hair red because of a redheaded ex-- the first time was from my mom, when I stated once as a little kid that I wished I had red hair, and apparently my dad's first wife was a redhead.



I have no idea why people would assume you're gay for having long hair. Every long haired man I know personally is straight, and all the gay guys I know have short to medium hair!
Edit: Actually I know One bisexual man with long hair, but that's it!

I think it's because people still assume that to be homosexual, a person has to be like the opposite sex, because they can't imagine a world that doesn't still have that dichotomy. You know, it's either that idea that to be into another man you must be feminine/if you're into another woman you must be masculine, or that in a homosexual relationship one person has to be the "boy" and one has to be the "girl"... It's the same way a woman with short hair may be assumed to be gay, unless she looks and dresses hyper-feminine.

[Madhair04]

They assume I am old fashioned and religious. Which is true! 😉

[wispe]

The last time I told someone I was an art student, they said "Oh yeah I guessed so because of your pink hair" lol

Ahaha when I was an art student is when I first went for pink hair, but I was also the only one of the art students at my university to have unnaturally-colored hair for a solid two years. And after that it was just me and one other person with colorful hair.

I remember our class was going to do an overseas trip and during a discussion my teacher told me people would probably assume I'm German (we were talking about how people say they can spot an American tourist abroad). Not really sure why on that one. But it was in reference to having the pink hair. It was all pink at that time too, not split colors.

[Faraniel]

As a veteran of hair destruction by hair dye I would like to quote Jenna Marbles: "There shouldn't be anything fun about destroying your hair, but there just is."

[lilbee]

I don't know what people assume about my hair, because they don't tell me. Plus I don't really care, lol. But I suspect they think my hair is just part of me being a nerd, with not much concern about fashion.

[auburntressed]

People assume I am religious (I’m not). Or they think I have a “fiery temper,” which I do not either. It probably takes more to get me riled up than most people. Also, people sometimes ask me if I’ve never cut my hair before. I have many, many times throughout my life. It’s like they don’t realize that hair continues to grow no matter how many times it gets cut.

[*Wednesday*]

What a cute topic. Unfortunately, I have no idea what people assume about my hair. No one has ever verbalized it. I get often, “Why don’t you wear your hair down?” I’m thinking they think, I wear my hair up too much.

[lostchyld]

I get less weirdness with long hair than with my buzz cut. People kept asking if I had cancer while it was buzzed.

There were also weird comments. Someone put me in a sentence with Charlie Manson and his gang. And I got skinhead a lot.

Now, no one notices my hair, but I’m constantly getting asked when my baby is due. I’m not and have never been pregnant.

[Feral_]

I’m outside a lot with dogs so my attire is that of a dog handler (combats, practical gear) and my hair is usually stuffed into a beanie. I once went to a posh awards event and wore a dress, heels, hair down etc.. I literally spent 10 minutes talking with someone I knew, and he genuinely didn’t recognise me lol. He then tried to redeem himself by saying I ‘scrubbed up well’, which in the North East UK is a form of compliment!

There is the assumption that my hair is high maintenance which really couldn’t be further from the truth - and the disbelief when I say I wash it with water not shampoo...etc.

If people see me with my hair down, because I’m petite, they usually think I’m girly.. which I certainly am not. In fact whatever people think of me I’m exactly the opposite of that.

[HairPlease]

As much as I'm in the "I don't care what people think" boat, I find it fun to see what they think anyway. When I lighten mine a couple shades, it's a nice sharp rose gold and people assume I'm either in a band or otherwise kind of edgy.

[gossamer]

I overheard my neighbors talking about my hair one day after one of them saw it in a braid down. They were speculating on if I was in some kind of weird religion maybe, and talking about how strange it was. Sigh.

Interestingly, I once wore my hair in a triple braid (3 braids, braided together to eat up more length) to a party with coworkers. One of my older coworkers said something like "oh, the hair can actually come down!! because at work it's always up in such a conservative bun!"

I guess by not wearing it down (lots of women with shoulder - bsl length hair in my division who usually wear theirs down) that I end up looking more uptight? It's ok, I am kind of uptight :rollin:

[lostchyld]

I guess by not wearing it down (lots of women with shoulder - bsl length hair in my division) that I end up looking more uptight? It's ok, I am kind of uptight :rollin:

Haha. Hair goes up when I wanna have fun. Loose hair is crappy if I want to get on the motorcycle or play football or have sex. No one wants to lean in to kiss their partner and get a mouthful of hair.

Long hair worn loose is how I hide.

People are weird. Loose hair is way more uptight looking to me. I know that to most women who wear their hair loose spend way more time making it presentable than I do tossing it into a braid or bun.

[cjk]

People are weird. Loose hair is way more uptight looking to me. I know that to most women who wear their hair loose spend way more time making it presentable than I do tossing it into a braid or bun.

A lot of it also depends on styling, and personal style as well. Clothing for instance. And posture.

Take the TV show Frasier, the ex-wife Lilith. Is there anyone more uptight looking than her?

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Lilith_Sternin_in_%22Sisterly_Love%22.png

[bokeh]

I have no idea what people assume about me because of my hair (long and grey) but actually I would like to know out of curiosity. In my mind my long hair increases their positive impression of me. Whether that is true or not doesn’t matter. My confidence when I’m out in the world is increased because I imagine people to be impressed with my bun and braiding skills and that I didn’t follow convention by dying my hair. The reality of what they think might be quite different but who cares? Not me!

[lithostoic]

I've had people ask me if I brush my hair -shrug-

[Bat]

back when I colored my hair bright colors, I get comments like "what does your mother think of your hair" or I get stared at when shopping because they think i'd steal something, could also be my style since I am Goth and being goth apparently means I am a criminal