What has growing long hair taught you?

[GoddesJourney]

A mark of the wise is learning from one experience and applying that knowledge to other things.

For example, learning about hair care has taught me a good deal about ingredients in products that were just strange words on bottles to me until more recent years. In a related issue, I've also learned that my skin and hair like and dislike similar ingredients (which works in my favor).

Less directly, I have realized that I should really stop biting my nails. I've been doing it since I was age two to three and my daughter just started at that same age. I can't rightly stop her if I'm doing it in front of her. Kids are not stupid. I also hate feeling like a big hypocrite. That said, I HATE the feeling of the ends of my nails on any object that I touch or even against my own skin if I make a fist. I also notice that the skin around my nails always dries and cracks any time I try to stop biting.

So, with my LHC patience and willingness to put some effort into things I wouldn't have previously, I have decided to file regularly to avoid any snag that my catch my attention, moisturize my hands regularly with oils I can stand (can't tolerate lotion) and generally refrain from doing the actual nail biting. I will even paint them here and there to further deter myself from messing with them and keep them very short with clippers or a file.

So, what has your long hair journey taught you and how do you use that wisdom with things other than being a long hair?

[AmaryllisRed]

I have learned to be less impulsive! Can't grow it long if you keep cutting it.

Also I have learned that when one part of my life isn't going right, it affects nearly everything else. If I'm in a bad mood or something bad happened, I feel like my hair is bad, everything I do, everything I am is bad. And of course that's not true. The bad thing that happened is bad but that doesn't mean my hair is bad, or anything else about me!
It's kind of funny how I never noticed it before I started growing my hair longer.
I'm learning to take a step back and wait until the bad mood passes before making any assessments about or changes to my life.
Sorry, that was all deep and stuff.

[AutobotsAttack]

Most important thing I’ve learned: Take care of tangles. What was a few tangles here and there can easily become full blown matting for me.

[Wendyclaire]

It’s not related that much to growing out my hair as much as this forum. And what people post here. Most of the time it has little to do with longhair care but people’s emotional state. I never realized how many mental illnesses there are connected to hair.

[-Fern]

There are many paths in life, but no one "right" path. Other things may work for other people, but ultimately you just have to do what works for you.

And hopefully spread a little kindness and cheese along the way.

[cjk]

Much of what I learned from growing my beard translated well to growing my hair.

In addition to what has been mentioned already, patience, plowing through the awkward stages and so forth, in the case of a long haired long bearded man there are additional stigmas which have to be considered.

And we have fewer styling options available to us. Actually, that's not entirely true. We have fewer options that we can do successfully because most of us have not been, for instance, braiding our own hair since we were three years old.

But overall I think patience and stick-to-itiveness are the things that were most deeply instilled in me through this process.

And the value of doing nothing.

[Bellalla]

If I feel overwhelmingly compelled to significantly change my hair, it's a major signal that I'm not coping with something well and should do some work on my mental health.

[LadyCelestina]

If I feel overwhelmingly compelled to significantly change my hair, it's a major signal that I'm not coping with something well and should do some work on my mental health.

But also - if you really really want to do something with your hair - just do it. Don't let any unfounded notions of what you should be or should do hold you back. Sometimes, change is good.

[Spikey]

Not strictly hair related, but LHC has given me loads of insight into the lives of people I never would have met normally. People in tiny towns, in other generations, people in other countries, obscure religions... you name any sub culture, soicio-economic status, level of education, age, etc chances are LHC has it. Just seeing people's hair itself can be telling, but hearing about the ways everyone here cares for theirs and how the people in their lives comment on it or affect it speaks volumes about your communities. Political beliefs, social expectations, religion, what is considered cool, wealth, status, prevelance of racism and/or homophobia.

Hearing from so many wildly different folk is probably my favorite thing about this board. :)

[beckybourbon]

Not strictly hair related, but LHC has given me loads of insight into the lives of people I never would have met normally. People in tiny towns, in other generations, people in other countries, obscure religions... you name any sub culture, soicio-economic status, level of education, age, etc chances are LHC has it. Just seeing people's hair itself can be telling, but hearing about the ways everyone here cares for theirs and how the people in their lives comment on it or affect it speaks volumes about your communities. Political beliefs, social expectations, religion, what is considered cool, wealth, status, prevelance of racism and/or homophobia.

Hearing from so many wildly different folk is probably my favorite thing about this board. :)

Well said, I 100% agree!!

[Bellalla]

But also - if you really really want to do something with your hair - just do it. Don't let any unfounded notions of what you should be or should do hold you back. Sometimes, change is good.

I change my hair all the time, but what I mean is when I start to feel this uncomfortable compulsion to dramatically change my hair, where it feels distressing not to, that's a tip off that something is up.

My mom is the exact same way, and so are her sisters. You can tell any of the women in my family are handling something poorly when suddenly we MUST dramatically change our hair.

[Ylva]

I've gotten to know myself better, I suppose. It finally sunk in that I'm not someone that wants to fuss about looks. I need "beauty" and other things like that to be very low maintenance. Once again, I tried maintaining a hair colour, going to the salon every 6 weeks, but it's just not me.

I've also come to the conclusion that having my hair long has very little to do with aesthetics or femininity. It's just long because short hair isn't very me, all things considered, including what I wrote above.


Not strictly hair related, but LHC has given me loads of insight into the lives of people I never would have met normally. People in tiny towns, in other generations, people in other countries, obscure religions... you name any sub culture, soicio-economic status, level of education, age, etc chances are LHC has it. Just seeing people's hair itself can be telling, but hearing about the ways everyone here cares for theirs and how the people in their lives comment on it or affect it speaks volumes about your communities. Political beliefs, social expectations, religion, what is considered cool, wealth, status, prevelance of racism and/or homophobia.

Hearing from so many wildly different folk is probably my favorite thing about this board. :)

Definitely!

[Wusel]

It has taught me to not listen to people, especially my mother, who believe that 'TOO LONG' hair is ugly on a woman over 30, that 'TOO LONG' hair is ugly in general. And 'TOO LONG' is anything longer than bra strap. I'm more confident now to tell people: 'EFF OFF, I'S MY BODY!'.

[Entangled]

Growing my hair out has revealed my many insecurities. I’m working on facing that now; I find when I decide to make a post involving myself it’s usually related to something self-esteem related that I hadn’t realized. I’ve been thinking my thoughts are objective, but when I make a plan to do something about it, I usually realize there’s a lot of other baggage that comes with it.

I’ve learned not to chase styles (cut and color anyways) in vain hope that it will resolve those challenges. I’ve also learned that I’m a low maintenance person, and that while my hair color and thickness are ordinary, that’s okay.

[Lucy McLucyFace]

It has taught me patience which is obvious enough. But I mean it has taught me to resist the urge to obsessively check up on something that I know requires time to develop. I learned this but I'm still yet to fully apply it. I hope in the future I will have enough discipline

[Lucy McLucyFace]

It has taught me to not listen to people, especially my mother, who believe that 'TOO LONG' hair is ugly on a woman over 30, that 'TOO LONG' hair is ugly in general. And 'TOO LONG' is anything longer than bra strap. I'm more confident now to tell people: 'EFF OFF, I'S MY BODY!'.

I'm glad to see so many people around here who think this way. I get the same stuff from my mom except I'm 23 so it feels infuriating!

Long hair is beautiful in a timeless way. Short hair after this or that age is historically speaking an extremely recent trend and I just love to see the timeless and ageless beauty in this forum

[Milady_DeWinter]

It taught be patience, not to be so impulssive, to left alone the things that already work (my natural hair is better for my features than any other shade), and to choose myself how I do like things, instead of letting society opinions decide for me (this applies both to long hair and to NOT having layers, the hairdressers always made me think that they were mandatory for a hair as thick as mine but I HATE THEM on my mane, needed to join here to realize it. After 3 years I'm still growing them...).

I'm also in about the learnings I got from the LHC. I love international forums (I'm not in any Spanish ones, they get my nerves) and their insight; I was a member mny years ago of another one (not hair related in any way) but I abandoned it since it started changing in a bad way, many years ago. I'm very grateful for this forum.

[MusicalSpoons]

Absolutely everything I know about the science of hair and hair care I learned from joining here, and the same for cosmetic ingredients. I learned how to moisturise my skin as well as my scalp and hair :grin:

I had already learned generally how to accept things for what they are instead of being distressed that things are not as they *should* be, but applying it to my hair, to my skin, and just generally has really helped deepen that acceptance. Also how to leave a dicussion rather than getting wound up, and putting into practice the understanding that keeping the peace is generally more important than being right (definitely when it comes to opinions, but also to an extent when it comes to established facts and the other person is refusing to see beyond their existing ideas) - and by extension that's helped me not engage on other social media with people who demonstrate they are unwilling to open their minds to anything that doesn't align with their beliefs, especially when those beliefs are extreme.

In terms of inner qualities, I dunno, I was quite a patient person anyway, though I suppose it has been a very good lesson in consistency despite not seeing drastic or immediate results. I've very much learned that no size fits all - that what works miracles for one person may be absolutely terrible for another, and to be mindful there there is no Right Way of haircare. There are perhaps a handful (at most!) of Wrong Ways that we all agree on*, but even most of what I used to think fell into that category I now know doesn't!

The diversity here is amazing, and I too have learned so much and seen so many different experiences that I would never have been able to anywhere else really, especially with the atmosphere that's here.


*I'm thinking things like frequent use of heat tools, blow-drying on hot or with lots of tangles, pulling splits off, using blunt nail scissors to trim, those kinds of things - otherwise pretty much anything goes! :)

[bparnell75]

It’s not related that much to growing out my hair as much as this forum. And what people post here. Most of the time it has little to do with longhair care but people’s emotional state. I never realized how many mental illnesses there are connected to hair.

This made me chuckle. O too am amazed by how little "hair" talk there is one the LHC.

[Zesty]

I've gained a lot of knowledge about the nitty gritty of hair care, but the "wisdom" I take away is that small habits give big results over time.

[hanne jensen]

I've learned that the best thing to do is just put my hair up and forget about it. Basic hair care like washing and conditioning. Gently combing to detangle and just put it up. Get on with life and BOOM, the hair is hip or tailbone length.

[Butterfly Blue]

I've gained a lot of knowledge about the nitty gritty of hair care, but the "wisdom" I take away is that small habits give big results over time.

I agree. I've learned this through haircare and try to apply it to other areas in my life, like losing weight.
It takes a long time to grow your hair.
You kind of have to just do your daily habits and just...wait.
It takes years to grow long hair, and it takes time to properly lose weight too. Just choose balanced, healthy habits and just...wait:)

[Sarahlabyrinth]

I need to learn those habits to lose weight :p

I learned to be patient, to be gentle and to grow a thick skin as well, as not everyone sees long hair as good, particularly on someone my age.

[Ylva]

Funnily enough, my hair growth and weight loss principles are totally different. My weight loss was a very swift and sudden process. I wish I could engineer a similar effect to hair growth! :D

[Butterfly Blue]

I need to learn those habits to lose weight :p

I learned to be patient, to be gentle and to grow a thick skin as well, as not everyone sees long hair as good, particularly on someone my age.

It's on ongoing process for me...learning those principles...
You are an inspiration for me as someone "older" with long hair. I am 50 yo and have the goal of Classic.

[Butterfly Blue]

Funnily enough, my hair growth and weight loss principles are totally different. My weight loss was a very swift and sudden process. I wish I could engineer a similar effect to hair growth! :D

(I haven't learned how to reply to multiple posts yet:( )
I wish my weight loss was sudden and swift. Congratulations!
Yes, if only our hair would grow like that!

[Sarahlabyrinth]

Sudden and swift weight loss would be lovely. Except I would be afraid it would cause a major hair shed. :(

[Ylva]

(I haven't learned how to reply to multiple posts yet:( )
I wish my weight loss was sudden and swift. Congratulations!
Yes, if only our hair would grow like that!

Thank you and good luck with the weight loss, too! :)


Sudden and swift weight loss would be lovely. Except I would be afraid it would cause a major hair shed. :(

Yep, it did for me, but it was pretty inevitable in my case. I needed to make that big change and it had its consequences, but the hair I lost is already growing back, so things are better than ever now. :)

[LadyMikaelson]

Growing long healthy hair takes time, patience, and maintenance. There is no right or wrong way to go about it. Trial and error is the best way to learn because what's heaven for someone else's hair could be heck for mine. And if it isn't broke don't fix it, but don't be afraid to branch out and try something new either.

[purple_omelette]

The whole process has been an exercise in patience for me. And in learning to live with and like the hair I have, just as it is. It's surprisingly difficult at times :P

[hennalonghair]

I need to learn those habits to lose weight :p

I learned to be patient, to be gentle and to grow a thick skin as well, as not everyone sees long hair as good, particularly on someone my age.

That’s ok. They aren’t growing or caring for it so their opinions are pointless.
One does need thick skin if they plan on living an authentic life being the person they want to be.
Nayslyers. They are downers for sure. It’s remarkable that you grew your hair that length. It’s amazing that you grew it that length at your age. :flower:

[0xalis]

It's more than just hair for me. It's a symbol of growth and progress and evidence I'm still alive and of all I've been through.

[Sarahlabyrinth]

That’s ok. They aren’t growing or caring for it so their opinions are pointless.
One does need thick skin if they plan on living an authentic life being the person they want to be.
Nayslyers. They are downers for sure. It’s remarkable that you grew your hair that length. It’s amazing that you grew it that length at your age. :flower:

Thank you! :flower: I couldn't have done it without all of you lovely people here :)