Obsessing over split ends

[chantecler]

Hello everyone!

I've been on and off on this long hair journey for 7 years now, and one of the main obstacles I encounter is of course damage and split ends. I have historically chosen to cut it all to chin lenght and grow again whenever it felt like too much, but this pattern is getting tiring.
Lately I've been noticing something. I'm just about half an inch past BSL at this point, happy that my hair is starting to "feel long" again, when I realised some splits were forming everywhere that had had dye on it. Now my hair sure is delicate when it comes to chemical processes, so I know why, but it became very quickly something that I kind of obsessed over. I have been wanting to chop off a lot of inches again because I just can't deal with knowing that the damage will slowly move up. S&D just makes me notice it even more and discourages me.

The thing is, right now my hair doesn't look or feel incredibly damaged except for the splits. I think I have lost objectivity when it comes to my hair's condition in this eternal quest to the longest healthiest hair I can get.

Does anyone else feel that way?

[Ylva]

Are you certain the damage will travel up? On me, splits tend to stay at the very tips. Sometimes, it's perfectly fine to just ignore them.

[lapushka]

In all my 47, soon to be 48 years I have seen one split almost to within 4 inches from my roots, but that's it. It had split 3 ways almost. So I think hair is strong and can take quite a bit and it takes a lot for damage to "travel".

[MusicalSpoons]

I have seen a handful of longer splits in my three years of being more hair-conscious but the vast majority of mine are a couple of mm long at most, when they're on the ends. I do get mid-shaft splits too, which are usually a few mm long but that's all. I'm growing out pre-LHC neglect so nothing horrifically damaging all over, but I also have finer hairs around my hairline that split or crumble even though they are short enough to have only known better care :shrug: if I were too concerned, chopped, and continued cutting off for splits I would probably never get past BSL or so, but to me they are a reasonable trade-off for length ;)

[Simsy]

I stopped s&d once it started to be an obsession. I don’t have the energy to spend on something like that; so I just stopped looking. I keep a pair of scissors in my purse and in the bathroom; so I can deal with the ones that make themselves obvious; but I don’t go looking anymore. I probably do have splits through the hem; it would explain why it’s being such a pain to seperate (I’m also a lot longer now, so that’s probably a larger part of the braiding issue).

Healthy is really hard to define; especially since damage is so common and so easy to cover. Hair splits, it just happens. You can’t stop a split from happening, and it won’t necessarily travel up far if at all. Which means you could try just ignoring them for a while and just let it be.

[chantecler]

Thanks for the kind replies! It pretty much confirms that I've been a bit trigger happy with cutting to get perfectly undamaged hair in the past. I'll probably microtrim for a while since I am growing out some chemical dye, but I might make it to MBL without giving up because of perceived damage this time.

I stopped s&d once it started to be an obsession. I don’t have the energy to spend on something like that; so I just stopped looking. I keep a pair of scissors in my purse and in the bathroom; so I can deal with the ones that make themselves obvious; but I don’t go looking anymore. I probably do have splits through the hem; it would explain why it’s being such a pain to seperate (I’m also a lot longer now, so that’s probably a larger part of the braiding issue).

I do keep hair scissors in my room for when I find a really obvious one, but I also found that true S&D took too much of my time and made me feel like Sisyphus rolling his rock. It's never ending!

[squirrrel]

Yeah, I have a colleague who used to be a hairdresser. If she ever hears me mentioning split ends she likes to point out that we all have splits.

For the most parts, I now cut out the obvious ones as long as I have scissors to hand. I find things like sunny train journeys show a lot of them up, but I don’t always have the scissors with me.

[imalda]

I always get split ends within 6 months of trimming my hair but I usually go an average of 2+ years between my trims. They never travel up and my hem is still quite thick so I take that as evidence that it's very healthy. If it was breaking off i.e. the ends were much thinner than the top then I'd be looking at whether my hair is damaged or it's just like that. So maybe you could try not trimming at all for 6 months and see if your hair remains the same thickness all the way down or only tapers a little (everyone's hair behaves differently as it grows and some hairs on your head may have different lengths of anagen phase than others so YMMV). Or if you want to get rid of your chemical treatments, you could micro trim like you said and see how your hair behaves. I personally did a big chop off of my dyed strands because I got sick of dealing with the feeling of different hair textures (I had an under dye) and went from there.

[chantecler]

imalda, My hem is actually thicker than it's ever been right now. I barely have any tapper, which is not what I've experienced before. I haven't checked if my ponytail circumference has changed but I'm quite sure it's also a bit more than it used to be!

The dye is a funny story actually. I had balayaged my hair myself when it was barely shoulder lenght because I wanted some fun colours. When I hit collarbone I got tired of the short hair, but knew I wouldn't stop dyeing it unless I knew I couldn't do it myself. I got the darkest brown I could and dyed my hair all over to make sure it was too tricky to dye myself. The only parts that seem really bad are the ones who had been previously bleached, but the brown faded to a colour REALLY close to my own and now no one can tell I'm growing out colour. The stratagem worked though, I haven't been tempted to colour it and I'm happy with that!

Squirrrel, Sunny bus rides for me! But I never bring my scissors with me...

[Valorie]

I have a similar issue!
I keep cutting my hair back to mid-lower back and cutting layers. It really doesn't help matters though. So- Going forward, I'm going to wear it up more often than I have been, just to keep it out of my sight.

[chantecler]

I've also been doing that the past year. On wash day I keep it down because I want it to dry and I'm a morning shower person, but the rest of the time up it goes!

[imalda]

imalda, My hem is actually thicker than it's ever been right now. I barely have any tapper, which is not what I've experienced before. I haven't checked if my ponytail circumference has changed but I'm quite sure it's also a bit more than it used to be!

The dye is a funny story actually. I had balayaged my hair myself when it was barely shoulder lenght because I wanted some fun colours. When I hit collarbone I got tired of the short hair, but knew I wouldn't stop dyeing it unless I knew I couldn't do it myself. I got the darkest brown I could and dyed my hair all over to make sure it was too tricky to dye myself. The only parts that seem really bad are the ones who had been previously bleached, but the brown faded to a colour REALLY close to my own and now no one can tell I'm growing out colour. The stratagem worked though, I haven't been tempted to colour it and I'm happy with that!

Squirrrel, Sunny bus rides for me! But I never bring my scissors with me...

Oh that's great! Your hair is pretty healthy then. I can understand the obsession though. It's like once you notice you can't not notice them. The only time I was obsessing over the health of my hair was when I dyed it and then cut it, but work got so busy for me that I was too tired to obsess over it anymore and it just went on it's merry way, growing until I quit that job and went "oh I have a lot of hair now". Looks like micro trimming is probably a good in between for you.



I have a similar issue!
I keep cutting my hair back to mid-lower back and cutting layers. It really doesn't help matters though. So- Going forward, I'm going to wear it up more often than I have been, just to keep it out of my sight.

That's a good idea. As they say, out of sight, out of mind. Before you know it, it'll be much longer.

[Laurenhope29]

This has been my problem too, and I'm really hoping that when i start approaching waist i don't impulsively chop it to shoulder/armpit length again to get rid of all the splits... it's happened 3 times now :doh:

[chantecler]

Ouf, I feel you, we can both do it!

[poojasilk]

I don’t have a ton of split ends, but whenever I do see a split it makes me want to chop all my hair off! But then I remember that I want my hair to be long so I try to resist. It’s helped me to join the no trimming challenges, so I can trim in a few more months but until then I’m just focused on taking care of my hair and letting it grow.

[LadyMikaelson]

It's such a tricky thing... S&D-ing sometimes makes me feel so pleased with my hair and other times as if it's a lost cause. LOL! It's really weird. I'm gonna start again soon because it's been like 2 years since I've done it.

[AutobotsAttack]

Hello everyone!

I've been on and off on this long hair journey for 7 years now, and one of the main obstacles I encounter is of course damage and split ends. I have historically chosen to cut it all to chin lenght and grow again whenever it felt like too much, but this pattern is getting tiring.
Lately I've been noticing something. I'm just about half an inch past BSL at this point, happy that my hair is starting to "feel long" again, when I realised some splits were forming everywhere that had had dye on it. Now my hair sure is delicate when it comes to chemical processes, so I know why, but it became very quickly something that I kind of obsessed over. I have been wanting to chop off a lot of inches again because I just can't deal with knowing that the damage will slowly move up. S&D just makes me notice it even more and discourages me.

The thing is, right now my hair doesn't look or feel incredibly damaged except for the splits. I think I have lost objectivity when it comes to my hair's condition in this eternal quest to the longest healthiest hair I can get.

Does anyone else feel that way?

Rarely will split ends travel all the way up into the root area. Hair isn’t structured for it to be have like that. Most splits form at some angle, and will eventually break off with the orientation of the angle. Longer lengths can have splits that travel up, but of the claims I’ve seen on this site, it was literally one hair that exhibited a split traveling well up the hair shaft, but again not even close to the root area.

I have bends and splits on quite a few of my hairs too. I just let them be. They’ll either hold on for a bit, or break off.

[CopperButterfly]

I feel like split ends are impossible to avoid with long hair. I have lots of splits on my ends, but I don't see any traveling up the shaft. And my hair is soft, shiney, and doesn't tangle much, so I feel like it's healthy. I just trim the very ends every 6 months to keep an even hemline. If I were to worry about getting rid of all my splits, I'd have to cut off so much length because of all the differing length of individual hairs.

At any rate I look at it like this, I can have long hair or split free hair, but not both. And I'd rather have long hair.

[spidermom]

Solidarity! I think splitting is one of my hair's favorite activities. The last time I grew out to classic length, I used to trim and trim and trim some more to try to get rid of them. There were always more. Eventually I cut all the way back to collarbone, one of my favorite lengths. Last year at about APL, I made a vow: no more trimming until waist length. My hair seems to be doing fine. I try not to look because I know the sight of splits will upset me. Every once in awhile, I find myself in a good shaft of light and I look. Sigh. I'm really not seeing that many splits though. As soon as I catch myself looking, I stop and scold myself. Lol.

Weekly deep treatments help, I think.

[jane_marie]

I'm working on suppressing my obsession with split ends. So far, since deciding to grow my hair out 7 (or 8?) months ago I have trimmed twice and cut off about 3 inches total. Luckily, my growth rate is pretty quick so it'[s still getting longer. Still, I can't shake the knowledge that without trimming it would have been almost to hip by now. :neutral:

S&D only seems to make matters worse for me so I have hidden my scissors and set reminders to S&D once a month on a wash day. :shrug:

[demonamay]

Hello everyone!

I've been on and off on this long hair journey for 7 years now, and one of the main obstacles I encounter is of course damage and split ends. I have historically chosen to cut it all to chin lenght and grow again whenever it felt like too much, but this pattern is getting tiring.
Lately I've been noticing something. I'm just about half an inch past BSL at this point, happy that my hair is starting to "feel long" again, when I realised some splits were forming everywhere that had had dye on it. Now my hair sure is delicate when it comes to chemical processes, so I know why, but it became very quickly something that I kind of obsessed over. I have been wanting to chop off a lot of inches again because I just can't deal with knowing that the damage will slowly move up. S&D just makes me notice it even more and discourages me.

The thing is, right now my hair doesn't look or feel incredibly damaged except for the splits. I think I have lost objectivity when it comes to my hair's condition in this eternal quest to the longest healthiest hair I can get.

Does anyone else feel that way?

If you have spilts you need to cut them obviously. S & D is good enough if they’re only a few if more then that a dusting might prove beneficial.