My hair isn't nice or pretty.

[tuulie]

I have been away from this forum for maybe four years now. Long story short, I've moved countries and had two babies. I have TBL hair now. I guess it grows best when you don't think about it.

The thing is, my hair is not nice. I have fine, medium thickness hair, but with both kids, I had very bad postpartum hair loss. Because of my first kid, I have shoulder length tufts everywhere, and because of my second, I have a lot of hair that's 1-2 cm long. I lost maybe 1/3 of my hair in total, maybe more. Because I have ends of such drastically varying lengths, it's really hard to protect them. I wear a braid all the time because I nurse the little one lying down all the time so buns don't hold, and my braid always looks like a poof ball, with ends sticking out everywhere. I don't think it's doing much in terms of protecting the ends.

So, I have long hair right now but I don't much like it. I sometimes think if I should just cut it waist length and forget about it for a couple years again and then reassess. Sometimes I just think of cutting it all off - I didn't look so bad with a bob. I don't have much time for oil treatments and the like, either, to help my awful hemline over time.

If you were me, what would you do?

[paulownia]

Looks like, with everything happening right now in your life, hair is last priority.. being a mom is a tough job and I understand that you just don't have time.
With the shed, I think cutting some sounds like a good idea. Don't hold onto length if it's thin. Medium length would be easier to take care of and you could focus on healthy growth. Good diet, movement and maybe a good vitamin? Something you can take while breastfeeding.
I drank nettle tea even after giving birth and it was not a problem. I even didn't have a drastic shed.

[GoddesJourney]

I had bad postpartum shedding as well. Hang in there. I ended up cutting mine back from hip to around waist, then BSL, then somewhere between shoulder and APL.

I was not happy with the cut. It was too much. Right now I am just past waist again and happy with my hair, just growing it back to where I wanted it in the first place. I think I could have left it no shorter than BSL or close to waist and just maintained there for awhile. Taking care of a baby/toddler doesn't give you a lot of time to think about your hair anyway.

My advice would be to cut back a little, maybe to waist but no more, and then just let it grow out like layered hair. You can maintain a length for a while until you trim off the thinner ends.

I feel for you. There's not really a good way to deal with it other than wait it out. You can either maintain where you are now or cut back a bit and maintain there until you feel good about growing it back out.

Don't do the bob. That isn't really necessary (unless you really liked it at that length) and it takes such a long time to regrow. And a year or two of that regrowth is going back through the stages where you can't really braid or bun it very well.

[Laurab]

It sounds like you're leaning towards some sort of trim, so really it's just deciding how much to cut. I'd probably start by getting rid of the thin whispy bits and any damaged ends and reassess in a few weeks or months. You can always cut shorter, and I personally love a Bob, but since it's been so long since you've had shorter hair I'd be cautious at first. No regrets and all that.

[Tinyponies]

I bet it’s nicer, and prettier, than you think. Hang in there mama.

[tuulie]

Thank you all for your replies, it means a lot. I think I will try and get a trim so that I could have a good hemline and feel a bit better about this mess, whatever length that might be. I think I'll hold off from cutting it too short right now - I don't have any time for styling my hair anyway so that's out of the question (the bob was pretty high maintenance tbh). I really hope I'll recover my thickness over time. Sometimes looking at old photos I'm surprised by what healthy looking hair I had.

[lapushka]

First of all: welcome back! :cheer:

Congratulations on the birth of your 2 children.


The thing is, my hair is not nice. I have fine, medium thickness hair, but with both kids, I had very bad postpartum hair loss. Because of my first kid, I have shoulder length tufts everywhere, and because of my second, I have a lot of hair that's 1-2 cm long. I lost maybe 1/3 of my hair in total, maybe more. Because I have ends of such drastically varying lengths, it's really hard to protect them. I wear a braid all the time because I nurse the little one lying down all the time so buns don't hold, and my braid always looks like a poof ball, with ends sticking out everywhere. I don't think it's doing much in terms of protecting the ends.

So, I have long hair right now but I don't much like it. I sometimes think if I should just cut it waist length and forget about it for a couple years again and then reassess. Sometimes I just think of cutting it all off - I didn't look so bad with a bob. I don't have much time for oil treatments and the like, either, to help my awful hemline over time.

If you were me, what would you do?

Maybe try bunning first before you decide to cut bits off. The length will allow you to bun comfortably, I think. Try a LWB (lazy wrap bun) or a Nautilus first before you snip *anything* off.

If bunning is a no-go for you and you want to cut back to sort of "gain" on the new growth, then cut in increments. Go from TBL to hip. See if that makes things better. If not. Go from hip to waist and see if you even like it that short - you may not!

[Khristopher]

Agree with everyone above with the trimming the wispy bits idea... But also, have you tried a paranda? It may help containing the shorter strands that pop out from your braid. A silky one is really helpfull, and also pretty! I hope you can find a lenght that makes you satisfied and doesn't bother you in daily life.

[spidermom]

I have 2 children and got my hair cut quite short after each one. I'm not sure if I would do the same now, but at the time my hair was the last thing I could cope with.

Right now I am at the tail-end of an epic shed caused by, I think, too many life changes all at once. I may end up cutting back to around collarbone length if the regrow looks too ridiculous.

[embee]

My problem with short hair is the upkeep - all the required trims to make it look nice were expensive, and when I had babies I hadn't time nor money for that. In one case I left it long and fumed over the straggly mess; in the other case I cut it and mourned over the short unattractive-in-about-six-weeks hairdo that I could not fix.

Personally, the long hair was more forgiving. At least I could put it up or back in a low pony.

[Kalamazoo]

If you were me, what would you do?

I think I'd braid my hair & then bobby-pin the braid up into a bun or other updo. Just something quick to get it out of the way. And keep doing that for a couple months before even looking at it again. If you can just leave it alone long enough to get through this current awkward phase, it may surprise you in a nice way.

[YvetteVarie]

I have been experiencing post partum shedding for the past 6 months and its horrible. What I have just been doing is putting my hair into two Dutch braids and leaving it like that for a week, take it down for a wash and condition and rebraid it. I do have other issues going on besides the shedding, so I need to ignore my hair before I shave it all off. I also did a 1 inch trim this past weekend, and my ends definitely look better now.

Good luck with whichever solution you go for

[tuulie]

Hey all,

Thank you for all of your suggestions, compassion and for sharing similar stories.

I've trimmed a bit, caught up on henna, and I feel much better about my hair, although I feel like I could trim a bit more (maybe in a week). I'm shopping for some silk/viscose yarn for a paranda as well since I've significantly outgrown the one I had. I'm planning to braid with it and pin out of the way and not think about hair. So I'm basically taking all of your advice! :)

It'll probably never return back to exactly how it was, but I'll make the best out of what's left! :D and it isn't THAT bad, honestly, although I would really prefer if I hadn't lost so much hair around my already really tall forehead. Oh well, maybe the renaissance hairline will be fashionable again in some years...

[MidnightMoon]

Hey all,

Thank you for all of your suggestions, compassion and for sharing similar stories.

I've trimmed a bit, caught up on henna, and I feel much better about my hair, although I feel like I could trim a bit more (maybe in a week). I'm shopping for some silk/viscose yarn for a paranda as well since I've significantly outgrown the one I had. I'm planning to braid with it and pin out of the way and not think about hair. So I'm basically taking all of your advice! :)

It'll probably never return back to exactly how it was, but I'll make the best out of what's left! :D and it isn't THAT bad, honestly, although I would really prefer if I hadn't lost so much hair around my already really tall forehead. Oh well, maybe the renaissance hairline will be fashionable again in some years...

Lol, I'll be waiting for the moment with my inverted skate ramp forehead ready :lol: