Boyfriend asked me to cut my hair

[evilpanda]

My boyfriend loves it when I wear my hair up, he thinks it shows off my face - heart shaped, good cheekbones - and loves kissing my neck and ears! But I prefer my hair down especially with how long it's gotten and am not that good at updos. My hair is very silky now that I've stopped bleaching it make sit rather difficult for it to stay up. He also tends to always end up laying on it or pulling on it when we're cuddling.

We were out last night celebrating our anniversary and he asked if he could take me to a nice salon to get my haircut short.

I've never had short hair before and have been tempted before and maybe now is the best chance to experiment but I also kinda want to keep growing my hair but we are serious about each and I know it really bothers him.

[lapushka]

My mom and dad have been married 50 years, that's gonna be 51 this year come August. My dad never "pushed" my mom where her appearance is concerned, and to me even expressing this to a partner is crossing a border.

If you don't want to cut it, that's fine, and I think you should not listen to others, not even your boyfriend.

But if you do... I don't know what short-short is going to do on 4a hair, though...

Welcome to the forum, BTW. :)

[jane_marie]

You should do whatever you want to do regardless of what his opinion is. If you want it long you should grow it long and if you want it short you should cut it short.

That said, there are a lot of updos you can learn that will keep him from rolling on it and accentuate your face. Learning one of them would protect your hair.

[EdG]

That's it. It is time to give him the boot. :slap:

Seriously, it is your hair. You get to wear it the way you want. :)
Ed

[GoddesJourney]

You should do whatever you want to do regardless of what his opinion is. If you want it long you should grow it long and if you want it short you should cut it short.

That said, there are a lot of updos you can learn that will keep him from rolling on it and accentuate your face. Learning one of them would protect your hair.

Pretty much exactly this.

He can tell you he'd love to see you with short hair. He can offer to pay for it. He doesn't get to insist.

Sounds like you are starting to really love your hair. Enjoy that for awhile. You can cut it later if you want to see how it is to have it short. It will take a few years to grow it back if you change your mind, but it will grow back. I cut mine back to about two inches once just to try it out. It sucked. I found short hair was way higher maintenance for me and always itchy and in my face. I also shed hair everywhere because it wasn't braided. I was single then.

My now husband has seen pictures and he liked it. He also has said he would like to see it short one day. I told him I didn't like it and found it more effort anyway. He gets it. He knows I love my hair. He's a practical guy. He met me with a long braid and he used to hold the tail when we cuddled when we first met.

Anyway, you mentioned that things are serious. That being the case, it should mean that he loves you and wants you to be happy with yourself. People, and women especially, tend to try to change themselves to be what someone else wants. Talk to divorced people. Most have a thing they now do or have that they used to love and regret giving up for this other person.

On the other hand, people who have had long marriages (that I've met) have an attitude of, "It's their hobby, hair, favorite shirt, etc. They like it even if I think it's lame, annoying, unfashionable, etc. Whatever."

[blackgothicdoll]

My mom and dad have been married 50 years, that's gonna be 51 this year come August. My dad never "pushed" my mom where her appearance is concerned, and to me even expressing this to a partner is crossing a border.

If you don't want to cut it, that's fine, and I think you should not listen to others, not even your boyfriend.

But if you do... I don't know what short-short is going to do on 4a hair, though...

Welcome to the forum, BTW. :)

If you look at her profile, I believe her hair is not correctly classified. :o

[Zesty]

If the profile photo is OP's then I think 4a is a mistype, lapushka.

Anyway, he can have his preferences, and they can be different from yours, but doesn't get to pressure you into anything. It sounds like you like your hair, I wouldn't cut it unless it's your idea.

[lapushka]

If you look at her profile, I believe her hair is not correctly classified. :o

Oh I hadn't looked that far. Going to go take a look, hang on! Oh yep, wait, I saw her picture in the Post your picture thread! Yep, that's not 4a. :) Thanks for telling me that! :D

[gustavonut]

Oh I hadn't looked that far. Going to go take a look, hang on! Oh yep, wait, I saw her picture in the Post your picture thread! Yep, that's not 4a. :) Thanks for telling me that! :D

Looks like a 1c/2c or something to me

[lapushka]

Looks like a 1c/2c or something to me

It looks rather pin-straight (1a) to me. Not a wave in sight. Unless that's blowdried/roundbrushed.

[gustavonut]

It looks rather pin-straight (1a) to me. Not a wave in sight. Unless that's blowdried/roundbrushed.

Right! Could be anything if her hair is straightened.

[Dark40]

My boyfriend loves it when I wear my hair up, he thinks it shows off my face - heart shaped, good cheekbones - and loves kissing my neck and ears! But I prefer my hair down especially with how long it's gotten and am not that good at updos. My hair is very silky now that I've stopped bleaching it make sit rather difficult for it to stay up. He also tends to always end up laying on it or pulling on it when we're cuddling.

We were out last night celebrating our anniversary and he asked if he could take me to a nice salon to get my haircut short.

I've never had short hair before and have been tempted before and maybe now is the best chance to experiment but I also kinda want to keep growing my hair but we are serious about each and I know it really bothers him.

I agree with Lapushka. My father never pushed my mother into doing anything to her appearance. If you really want to grow your hair out long, and keep it long then you really should. Don't listen your boyfriend or others. I would give him the boot, and kick him to the curb. :slap:

[elise.autumn]

I'm sorry you're in this position. :( I tend to agree with the others - if he truly cares about you, he should support you in what's meaningful for your self expression.

I speculate that perhaps whatever inspired you to join this forum means it's important to you, and you may not want to cut, but I could be wrong!

[Alexandrina]

Have you tried tying your hair up while in bed? You mentioned him always rolling on it or pulling on it, and that can get super annoying, for both of you!

I found I had that issue more before my hair reached waist... because it was "long", but not long enough to stay draped above me on the pillow while sleeping or cuddling.

A clip, or hairband or something, might help you, it would keep it out of the way, and that might be the only reason he doesn't like it long?

Also, even if he just doesn't like the way it looks (and nothing wrong with that, everyone is allowed to have preferences), I would strongly discourage basing your decision to cut it or not on that.
That should be YOUR decision, only, and not let other people influence it.

If you like it long and want to keep growing it out, tell him that is what is going to happen.

[blackgothicdoll]

Now for my actual input - he literally just suggested it. You don't have to leave someone for making a suggestion. The world's population would be a lot lower if the tipping point in a relationship was a suggestion of doing something. He makes the suggestion, you say no, life goes on.

If it becomes more of an issue, such as a demand and not a suggestion, then there are some clear personal issues and differences there on a physical level which would lead to the consideration of reaching a decision/agreement together; "are you so opposed to my hair that it's damaging our relationship?" "Then good-bye", or "then I'll cut it". Adults can rationalize things and make decisions with conversations with one another.

[EdG]

blackgothicdoll - I think it is more than a suggestion. The real issue is not hair.

The OP said:


I've never had short hair before and have been tempted before and maybe now is the best chance to experiment but I also kinda want to keep growing my hair but we are serious about each and I know it really bothers him.

She does not want to cut her hair. He is testing to see if he can control her.

This happened to me. Interchange "he" and "she", replace "hair" with "beard", and this is what my ages-ago girlfriend tried to do. :slap:

The best action is to run. :run:
Ed

[*Wednesday*]

You have beautiful hair. I peaked at your profile. So he must be out of his mind. Nobody should take anyone to a salon unless it’s something that you want to do. And you certainly don’t do it under pressure. And if it makes you uncomfortable tell him, don’t let the door hit ya where the good Lord split ya.

[Dark40]

I agree with "Wednesday."I peeked at your profile too. You have beautiful. He must be out of his mind. I would not let him take me to no salon for no hair cut that beautiful.

[Laurab]

blackgothicdoll - I think it is more than a suggestion. The real issue is not hair.

The OP said:



She does not want to cut her hair. He is testing to see if he can control her.

This happened to me. Interchange "he" and "she", replace "hair" with "beard", and this is what my ages-ago girlfriend tried to do. :slap:

The best action is to run. :run:
Ed

I 100% believe this can happen, but I wouldn't say it's all or even most people.
If the boyfriend isn't controlling in any other way, it should be fine. It actually sounds like he gave it some thought to try and make it a gentler suggestion. If you say no and he fights you on it and makes you feel bad that's another issue, but I wouldn't throw the baby out with the bathwater just yet.

I use to know a girl who mentioned she wanted to cut her hair short but her boyfriend didn't want her to do it, and I was like :/ and she was like "we've got an agreement, I won't cut my hair if he won't shave his beard, so it's fair"

Anyway, I'd just give it some thought. If you cut your hair 80% to make him happy, 20% because you're curious about it, you're probably going to end up regretting it. I wouldn't cut it until you're EXCITED for the haircut. Wait until you know for sure you'd be cutting it, even if he wasn't involved.

Also long vs short isn't your only option. Learning new hairdos, getting a trim, getting layers, stuff like that can mix it up without you cutting years of growth.

Best of luck!

[MusicalSpoons]

He asked. What did you reply? How did he react to that?

Either way, I'm joining the chorus of don't cut your hair unless you want to. But learning ways to effectively put it up would be a good compromise (and good for your hair). There are plenty of styles to learn on here :)

[cjk]

So many women think they get to have input on their boyfriends appearance, cut the beard, grow your hair, whatever. It's nice to see the tables turned for once.

I'll tell you the exact same thing that I tell the guys. Listen! Take their opinion into consideration.

And then make your own decision.

[Kalamazoo]

I had a boyfriend towards the end of college, when my hair was past my waist. Somebody took a picture of me that made my hair look awful. Said boyfriend was into cutting hair, his own, his dog's, he offered to cut mine. I said OK.

Post-haircut, I went to a salon to have something done with it. The beautician said the man had given me an excellent haircut. He was very artistic. She cut it a bit more & gave me my one & only perm. I wound up looking like I had an afro. (Maybe I had another perm, 10 or 20 years later? I'm not sure. But I think perms are terrible for me. Never again.)

He didn't propose to me, so I wound up proposing to him. He thought it over for a week, & finally said what he was looking for was a guy...

It took me a few decades to come to my senses and realize that I really missed my hair a whole lot, all those years.

I'm very lucky that it's currently longer than ever before.

And I will never cut my hair for a man again. If he doesn't like me the way I am, he's just not that into me, & it isn't worth it to cut my hair for him.

[Spikey]

Now for my actual input - he literally just suggested it. You don't have to leave someone for making a suggestion. The world's population would be a lot lower if the tipping point in a relationship was a suggestion of doing something. He makes the suggestion, you say no, life goes on.

If it becomes more of an issue, such as a demand and not a suggestion, then there are some clear personal issues and differences there on a physical level which would lead to the consideration of reaching a decision/agreement together; "are you so opposed to my hair that it's damaging our relationship?" "Then good-bye", or "then I'll cut it". Adults can rationalize things and make decisions with conversations with one another.

Thank you!! I think the idea that you should dump him over a single offer to buy you a haircut is laughable. If you want to cut, do it. If you don't, don't. Personally, I love the hair in your profile picture and I would try to find new ways to put it up if he's annoyed that it gets everywhere. Or just decline and wear it down anyway if that's what makes you happy. Laurab had some good suggestions for alternatives.

EdG She said she "kinda" wants to grow her hair out and that she's been tempted to cut it before. It doesn't sound like long hair is a vital part of her identity under attack like it would be for us. And if this is really a test on his part to "control her", she already knows she needs to dump him.

[Arciela]

I've been with my BF for over 10 years and never once did he ever push his opinions on me like that. I dont know your BF so I have no idea what he meant by it..only he would know.

The most my BF has done is tell me "you look better without makeup" and "I love your natural hair color"

If he ever told me he wants to pay for me to cut my hair I'd ask him why and then if I wanted to keep my hair long I'd say nah and that would be the end of it. I cant imagine him doing that though..to me that is a bit weird.

One time I bleached my TBL hair and then it got very damaged and when I'd ask him about it he would say yeah its damaged and doesnt look so great..when you want me to cut all the damage off I'll do it. Finally I decided enough is enough and had him cut it all off. I decided and I was happy.

It's one thing if he was to say "you look good with short hair I love it" or if I actually asked his opinion, fine. So if it was me in the end I would do what I want. After all its *my* hair and I have to live with the choice and be happy. So in the end I agree with the others..do what you wish with your hair. :flower:

[Groovy Granny]

wrong thread

[GoddesJourney]

So many women think they get to have input on their boyfriends appearance, cut the beard, grow your hair, whatever. It's nice to see the tables turned for once.

I'll tell you the exact same thing that I tell the guys. Listen! Take their opinion into consideration.

And then make your own decision.

This actually happens all the time. Some people are more direct and others more manipulative. I think all the way around people should just let eachother be happy. Sharing an opinion once or asking if someone would do something now and then for you is no big deal (unless they've already made it very clear they don't want to). They can accept or decline with no negative consequences. Insisting in direct or backhanded ways is a d*** move, regardless of gender.

I had a really insecure friend that was a magnet for guys like that, but she wasn't the only one I knew.

[YvetteVarie]

I think you have received good advice here. Cut your hair if that's what you really want to do, if not, talk to your boyfriend and let him know that. Then head on to YouTube to learn how to do updos.

[Joules]

I agree with Lapushka. My father never pushed my mother into doing anything to her appearance. If you really want to grow your hair out long, and keep it long then you really should. Don't listen your boyfriend or others. I would give him the boot, and kick him to the curb. :slap:

I agree too. My Dad never says anything beside "looks beautiful" to both me and Mom, unless we specifically ask for his opinion when choosing something. I personally wouldn't tolerate such behavior, unsolicited advice is never ok. Plus, imagine where this might go. Today he's telling you what hairstyle you should have, tomorrow what? He's gonna dictate what job you should have? The place you should move to? The people you can speak to? Call me paranoid, but control and abuse start with small things.

[Joules]

So many women think they get to have input on their boyfriends appearance, cut the beard, grow your hair, whatever. It's nice to see the tables turned for once.

I'll tell you the exact same thing that I tell the guys. Listen! Take their opinion into consideration.

And then make your own decision.

Well, let's be honest. Most men are different than most women. My ex wore horrendous old worn out shoes until I forced him to buy something decent looking. A few guys at my workplace have no concept of washing and ironing clothes and can't distinguish a neat haircut from something that needs to be shaped. At least here where I live a lot of men brought up to be totally helpless in appearance and self-grooming departments.

[Tinyponies]

Well, let's be honest. Most men are different than most women. My ex wore horrendous old worn out shoes until I forced him to buy something decent looking. A few guys at my workplace have no concept of washing and ironing clothes and can't distinguish a neat haircut from something that needs to be shaped. At least here where I live a lot of men brought up to be totally helpless in appearance and self-grooming departments.

I don’t mean to derail but I strongly disagree. Every individual's personal choices are to be respected and it’s never ok to harass or force. Happy to talk about it somewhere else with you if you’re interested.

OP you’ve had some great advice, if some of the concepts being discussed here are new to you, take your time and then read it over again some time. This forum is a great place to pick up positive skills like deep self acceptance from a lot of what is said on various threads.

[Kake]

I don't advise cutting hair on a whim, much less someone else's whim. Your boyfriend quite possibly doesn't really understand what he is asking of you.

[LittleHealthy]

How did you feel about your hair before your boyfriend offered to take you to a nice salon and have it cut off? I'd go by how you felt then, not how you feel about it now.

Honestly I would be shocked if my partner ever said such a thing about any part of my appearance, but we all have different expectations I suppose!
All the best with your conundrum!

[LittleHealthy]

I don't advise cutting hair on a whim, much less someone else's whim. Your boyfriend quite possibly doesn't really understand what he is asking of you.

This is true, I know my partner doesn't understand my love affair with my hair but he knows it is important to me.
Perhaps he just doesn't realise where you're at with it, as he probably doesn't give his own hair a second thought!

[enting]

Everyone seems to have jumped on this as controlling behavior.

Reading the original post, it sounds like you've been waffling about liking the idea of short hair but also liking the idea of growing long, and at the moment you're trying out growing it long. I think it's very healthy to notice what he likes/dislikes and want to take that into consideration - note, I'm saying consideration, not deciding solely based on. Would you prefer the advantages short hair would give you (like said kisses and not having it laid on?)

For all anyone here knows, he has heard you talk about experimenting with short hair and took the opportunity to suggest it and pay for it.

Either way, I think it makes sense to take some time to think about it seriously - that's what the two week rule is there for. You may also wish to say that you want to try growing to X length but that you may try short in the future. If you decide to keep it long, see if the two of you can come up with things that work for both of you to keep your hair out of the way of kissing and cuddling times. It sounds like he doesn't hate your hair long just for the sake of it, but because of it getting in the way. If you figure out ways to not have it get in the way, he might feel differently about it.

Regardless, I agree with everyone that it must be your decision. Weigh all your thoughts and feelings about it. Your boyfriend can't decide for you and should not pressure you, but neither can we decide for you. Take your time and then go ahead with whatever you choose to do. Good luck!

[RubberDucky]

My take on this...

If you ASK someone for their honest opinion and receive it, that's fine. Consider what they said but in the end decided what's best for you.

If someone gives you unsolicited advice or suggestions or outright demands about your own body - OH HELL NO! Your body, your rules. End of discussion.

[lapushka]

My take on this...

If you ASK someone for their honest opinion and receive it, that's fine. Consider what they said but in the end decided what's best for you.

If someone gives you unsolicited advice or suggestions or outright demands about your own body - OH HELL NO! Your body, your rules. End of discussion.

Yep and it is kind of "difficult" to gauge what's what at this point. OP hasn't replied back yet, I see. :)

[The-Young-Maid]

Everyone seems to have jumped on this as controlling behavior.

Reading the original post, it sounds like you've been waffling about liking the idea of short hair but also liking the idea of growing long, and at the moment you're trying out growing it long. I think it's very healthy to notice what he likes/dislikes and want to take that into consideration - note, I'm saying consideration, not deciding solely based on. Would you prefer the advantages short hair would give you (like said kisses and not having it laid on?)

For all anyone here knows, he has heard you talk about experimenting with short hair and took the opportunity to suggest it and pay for it.

Either way, I think it makes sense to take some time to think about it seriously - that's what the two week rule is there for. You may also wish to say that you want to try growing to X length but that you may try short in the future. If you decide to keep it long, see if the two of you can come up with things that work for both of you to keep your hair out of the way of kissing and cuddling times. It sounds like he doesn't hate your hair long just for the sake of it, but because of it getting in the way. If you figure out ways to not have it get in the way, he might feel differently about it.

Regardless, I agree with everyone that it must be your decision. Weigh all your thoughts and feelings about it. Your boyfriend can't decide for you and should not pressure you, but neither can we decide for you. Take your time and then go ahead with whatever you choose to do. Good luck!

This. Everybody is making this poor guy out to be the devil from 1 sentence? This is the most biased jury I've ever seen. My guess is that OP often mentions going short and bf thinks that she'll really like short hair. To convince herself to keep growing OP has probably talked about how long hair is cheaper (from no salon visits) so bf may have taken that as, "I really want short hair but the maintenance/salon visits will be really expensive and I don't want to spend that much money. And kindly offered to pay for the cut, since OP seems to want to try short hair.

I just think the responses here are so childish. I get that we like long hair here but you don't need to see anyone who suggests a cut as the enemy. And to suggest that OP needs a new bf, just because he hints that they'd both like her with short hair/offer to pay, what is wrong with you guys?! We don't know anything about their relationship. If the opinions were reversed - "Oh no don't cut your hair it's so pretty!" Nobody would complain. You'd even tell her hes a keeper.

The OP's bf having a hair preference is perfectly normal. So is OP having a preference. All they need to do is sit down like adults and have a conversation. Maybe bf likes her hair currently but it always gets in the way - okay so do more braids. Maybe OP really just can't decide how long she wants her hair and kinda wanted him to decide. This isn't relationship ending like you guys are making it out to be. If there turns out to be actual red flags of controlling or potentially abusive behavior then by all means leave him. But this is not it. We have not be given near enough information to decide either way.

[lapushka]

This. Everybody is making this poor guy out to be the devil from 1 sentence? This is the most biased jury I've ever seen. My guess is that OP often mentions going short and bf thinks that she'll really like short hair. To convince herself to keep growing OP has probably talked about how long hair is cheaper (from no salon visits) so bf may have taken that as, "I really want short hair but the maintenance/salon visits will be really expensive and I don't want to spend that much money. And kindly offered to pay for the cut, since OP seems to want to try short hair.

I just think the responses here are so childish. I get that we like long hair here but you don't need to see anyone who suggests a cut as the enemy. And to suggest that OP needs a new bf, just because he hints that they'd both like her with short hair/offer to pay, what is wrong with you guys?! We don't know anything about their relationship. If the opinions were reversed - "Oh no don't cut your hair it's so pretty!" Nobody would complain. You'd even tell her hes a keeper.

The OP's bf having a hair preference is perfectly normal. So is OP having a preference. All they need to do is sit down like adults and have a conversation. Maybe bf likes her hair currently but it always gets in the way - okay so do more braids. Maybe OP really just can't decide how long she wants her hair and kinda wanted him to decide. This isn't relationship ending like you guys are making it out to be. If there turns out to be actual red flags of controlling or potentially abusive behavior then by all means leave him. But this is not it. We have not be given near enough information to decide either way.

Totally agree! ^^

However, even talking about another's appearance in a relationship, especially a man to a woman, I think... why? Let the girl do what she wants. Why does this even have to come up. In my parents' relationship they pretty much leave each other be. My mom has more say about my dad than vice versa (OMG it would be a ****storm here if my dad would interfere with my mom's looks and choices).

[Sarahlabyrinth]

Well, he's free to ask that you cut your hair. But he also needs to accept your answer, whether it be yes or no. If he keeps going on and on about it, that would be controlling - not good.

[MusicalSpoons]

Adding to the chorus of reason! All OP said is that he asked. That's not a crime! She didn't even write anything else to imply that he's pushing - of course if he is then that makes it a different matter, but just like enting said, we don't know any of the rest of the circumstances.

Of course that goes both ways - if he is pressuring beyond just making a kind suggestion, that might indicate the need to take a step back and see if there are any other issues. But on the face of it ... yeah, actually quite puzzling that most commenters have run with the idea that that one comment alone indicates he's a terrible person :shake:

[FWIW, I agree with cjk and Tinyponies, almost paradoxically - in a relationship both should have consideration for the other's wishes, whilst ultimately making their own personal decisions. I cannot stand that it's generally acceptable for women to control every aspect of a guy's appearance but a guy may not dare have any opinion on a woman's choices :rolleyes: If a guy *makes the decision* that pleasing his wife would make him happiest and acts according to her wishes, then fine. But a woman steamrolling her husband's choices is not on. I do understand where Joules is coming from too; there are several men in my family who Just Do Not Care and actually the wives steering them in the direction of some self-respect is a good thing because it means others are more likwly to take them seriously. But if they were to refuse to wear something bought for them, they should be allowed to do so and not be forced into wearing it. There is a difference between buying something for someone because they won't do it themselves - taking into consideration what kinds of colours or styles they are most likely to like and feel comfortable in, of course - and overriding their choice by forcing them into wearing something they dislike.]

[lapushka]

(...) there are several men in my family who Just Do Not Care and actually the wives steering them in the direction of some self-respect is a good thing because it means others are more likwly to take them seriously. But if they were to refuse to wear something bought for them, they should be allowed to do so and not be forced into wearing it. There is a difference between buying something for someone because they won't do it themselves - taking into consideration what kinds of colours or styles they are most likely to like and feel comfortable in, of course - and overriding their choice by forcing them into wearing something they dislike.]

My dad never goes shopping for clothes; you can't drag him to a store. You just can't. Not even for shoes!!! Once my mom had to go to the store, ask if she could take "one" shoe to the parking spot outside, he tried them on like that, one by one. He refused to set foot in the store. OMG. My grandma (his mom) when she found out almost gave him a whooping. ;)

My mom also buys his sweaters, and pants for him, knows his size, etc. and where to go for good fitting things. The trend of skinnier jeans though is a tough one, because if he can't get it over his legs, there is a problem. :lol: My mom now needs to measure the leg width. It was funny for a bit there though when he had to try them on. OMG.

Anyway, back OT. ;)

[desisparkles]

Sorry I didn't read what everyone else wrote yet but... I don't see harm in expressing a desire about something physical on your partner. I mean pressuring them into it is different.

My husband has short hair, has to because he is in the military but I constantly tell him I would love for him to grow his hair long once he is out. He's never said he wants long hair but I bring it up from time to time.

I'm not saying it in a pressure-some way I just am letting him know a desire of mine, damn if we can't say what we think/feel to our partner who can we say it to?

[Zanthia]

I can't imagine celebrating an anniversary and having him criticise my appearance, right there, when we're out celebrating our anniversary. He's supposed to say you look stunning and that's all. Even if he made this suggestion on another day, I still think it's not great behaviour. But celebrating your anniversary... no! "Happy anniversary, darling, you look awful and I will pay money to make you not look like this, eww, cannot imagine another year of this." No wonder it's raising people's hackles! I don't know if controlling is the right word, but whatever it is, it's very bad behaviour. If that's what he's like on his very best romantic behaviour, out celebrating your anniversary, I dread to think what he's like the rest of the time.

[lapushka]

I can't imagine celebrating an anniversary and having him criticise my appearance, right there, when we're out celebrating our anniversary. He's supposed to say you look stunning and that's all. Even if he made this suggestion on another day, I still think it's not great behaviour. But celebrating your anniversary... no! "Happy anniversary, darling, you look awful and I will pay money to make you not look like this, eww, cannot imagine another year of this." No wonder it's raising people's hackles! I don't know if controlling is the right word, but whatever it is, it's very bad behaviour. If that's what he's like on his very best romantic behaviour, out celebrating your anniversary, I dread to think what he's like the rest of the time.

Men can be so clueless sometimes, and think they're actually complimenting and saying something "nice" - only way I can explain it.

Would really love OP's perspective on this right now, though. Wish she'd chime in. :o :flower:

[GoddesJourney]

Men can be so clueless sometimes, and think they're actually complimenting and saying something "nice" - only way I can explain it.

Would really love OP's perspective on this right now, though. Wish she'd chime in. :o :flower:

This is common. Someone just makes a thoughtless comment meant to be a nice gesture and it's just not coming off the way they expected. I had a guy once start to tell me that I was soooooo pretty...but finished the statement by suggesting that if only I would wear makeup I could be prettier than the other girls. Another guy told me that I just need to get someone to do my hair and makeup, and maybe dress it up a bit more...but that's an "easy fix"! Holy stupid, Batman. It's not like I was a big slob or anything. I was in fantastic shape and wearing a flattering little dress. My hair was probably braided or down and I just don't wear makeup. I have some, but it comes out of the bag I keep it in maybe once a year.

Both guys were probably trying to flatter me and thought it would put a smile on my face, but that was not the expression I had. Ugh...

Anyway, the OP's boyfriend may just had one of those moments.

On the other hand, I dated a guy for a short time that spent more time in front of the mirror in one sitting than I did when I was trying to figure out how to crown braid. He bought me a shirt and short skirt for my birthday. Okay, maybe he just meant well. But then he started telling me how much better it would look than what I normally wear. Then I found out he had done this makeover my girlfriend or friend's girlfriend thing before and he had some ego boost about it. He didn't last long for other reasons, but I wonder if he ever was able to pick the right team to play for. He did a lot of things that pointed toward obvious confusion.

[evilpanda]

Thanks for all the responses. Talked to him last night. I've never really brought up cutting my hair before to him so I was quite surprised, tho I've thought about it off and on.

He said no pressure, that he thought he would just put it out there since it would "show off my beautiful face and make things easier for both of us". I really am torn about what to do, he doesn't see what the big deal is since it will just grow back but that's gonna take forever

[evilpanda]

Also meant to say her probably just prefers short hair his one ex had shoulders length and the other a pixie. My hair was bsl when we first went out

[neko_kawaii]

Learn some updos, better for showing off faces than short hair. And keep your hair contained in a braid or something when you are physically close. THAT solves many problems.

[jane_marie]

Thanks for all the responses. Talked to him last night. I've never really brought up cutting my hair before to him so I was quite surprised, tho I've thought about it off and on.

He said no pressure, that he thought he would just put it out there since it would "show off my beautiful face and make things easier for both of us". I really am torn about what to do, he doesn't see what the big deal is since it will just grow back but that's gonna take forever

Since you are on the fence about it, why not head over to the Hairstyle of the Month board (https://forums.longhaircommunity.com/forumdisplay.php?f=48) and try to learn some new updos. Your hair looks long enough with a good thickness ratio to do some neat styles. I know you said your hair has a bit of slip but I'm sure there is something that will work well for you. Braids might be a good option as well. Double dutch braids are really attractive and tend to show off people's facial features. :)

[Kalamazoo]

I think it was in Men Are from Mars; Women Are from Venus that I read about how men & women tend to "keep score" differently in a relationship. Both desire to keep things balanced, so that neither feels indebted to the other; but men have (according to Dr. Gray) a tendancy to think they earn a lot of points for doing something big, while women tend to keep score by giving one point for each favor or gift. OP's boyfriend may be madly in love with her, and thinking about how much a salon make-over costs, and trying to come up with a hugely expensive gift, to show her how much he loves her, as an anniversary gift that's big enough to really express how madly head-over-heels-in-love he feels about his lady.

If OP doesn't want to offend her boyfriend, whom she truly loves with all her heart, but also wants to keep her hair for now, maybe she needs to suggest that he buy her something else for an anniversary gift that's in about the same price range, all the while focussing on, "WOW! You love me THAT MUCH!? THANK YOU!!!!!!!" and really make him feel deeply appreciated for making such a generous offer.

[ZoeZ]

Thanks for all the responses. Talked to him last night. I've never really brought up cutting my hair before to him so I was quite surprised, tho I've thought about it off and on.

He said no pressure, that he thought he would just put it out there since it would "show off my beautiful face and make things easier for both of us". I really am torn about what to do, he doesn't see what the big deal is since it will just grow back but that's gonna take forever

That... seems to be an odd way of putting it, to me at least. Does he have a hard time dealing with your hair? Is he irritated that you spend too much time on it? And you seem to have serious reservations about doing a big chop given that you are concerned about how long it takes to grow. I'd suggest that you think very seriously about cutting your hair that short. If you've never had this conversation with him before, it suggests that he's trying to make you over to please himself rather than enjoying a girlfriend who has unusually long hair - why did he start dating you if he doesn't like your hair?

Look at it another way: have you considered remodelling him to suit your own tastes or are you happy with him the way he is as when you met him? Would you even consider that you had the right to suggest that?

We could all be out of line here and coming down on him for what might have been a casually tossed-off remark meant only to please, and only you know the nuances of the situation to to be able to judge whether we are way off course here.

[EdG]

He is clueless about long hair.

I am worried that he is trying to change you. He should like you the way you are. :)
Ed

[Longlegs]

When I first dyed my hair purple 5 years ago my husband said it was o.k but he prefers my natural colour . He knew how much I loved it though and never asked me to stop. Now I'm going grey and he's fine with that. It's your hair - sure listen to his opinion but make the final decision yourself. ( If he did'nt like it why did he ask you out on a date in the first place?) Remember you are more than just your hair, even if it is a big part of who we are - it is the person you are on the inside that counts.

Updo's will show off your beautiful face and should be a compromise that suits both of you.

[Laurab]

I think a lot of men don't understand long hair, I don't think it sounds malicious lol.

Like, most men I've known pretty much maintain their same haircut their entire lives. Most men have NEVER grown out hair in their lives, they probably don't even think about how fast it grows. My dad thinks his hair grows an inch a month, but I think it's just that he gets annoyed when it's slightly past his preferred length. My brotehr giets his cut shorter than he likes so he can go longer in between cuts. Some men like to be trendy, but a heck of a lot just know that hair grows and then you cut it.

Plus they'll see female celebrities have shoulder length hair one day, hip length the next, and not even think about how it's mostly thanks to extensions.

A suggestion:
Take a tape measure and measure your hair. Then put it over HIS head, and show him where it would fall on him if he grew his hair out. Check the difference between your two lengths, and calculate roughly how long it would take him to grow his hair that length (About half an inch per month). I'm guessing it would take him at least two years to grow it that long.
A lot of men are more visual and less abstract, so I think thinking of things this way may help him understand why it's not a descion you want to make on a whim.

[jane_marie]

Screw it, take him up on the salon visit... then get a dusting, an eyebrow wax, a manicure and a facial. Then, if he gets pissed defend yourself: "I did go shorter. I cut a half inch.. see?"

Be indignant. Enjoy the fallout. You won't be wrong. You'll just be a jerk. :lol:

[SleepyTangles]

Screw it, take him up on the salon visit... then get a dusting, an eyebrow wax, a manicure and a facial. Then, if he gets pissed defend yourself: "I did go shorter. I cut a half inch.. see?"

Be indignant. Enjoy the fallout. You won't be wrong. You'll just be a jerk. :lol:

In a perfect world... What a sight to behold, would be this! ;)
But in RL, I don't trust anybody coming to my hairdresser appointments, confonding the stylist with opinions and suggestions he/she may agree with. It's already difficult to persuade the stylist to dò exactly what you want instead of how he/she wants. I prefer to have less cards on the table.

[Angelica]

OP - your boyfriend is mad. Your hair is beautiful. It is in perfect condition. I don't understand him at all. I don't like that he even mentioned y you getting your hair cut short when you don't sound as if you brought the subject up in the first place. Hair takes years and years to grow so I don't get the "it'll grow back" bit either. I mean what do you do then, cut it off yet again after taking years to grow it. It might be over the top for people on here to suggest to get rid of him, but if it was my boyfriend saying that I would feel rather uncomfortable about it. He may be telling you what to wear next.

[spidermom]

There are a few simple updos that you could learn to keep your hair out of the way and expose your face and neck.

[sugar&nutmeg]

Can we talk about how entirely wrong the OP's hair type seems, as compared w/ the photo of their hair (which was offered w/o any details, and (to me) does not appear straightened)? 4a/F/i ? Fine? i?

I'm v. old. And suspicious. Just sayin'... It may all have happened.

I am having fun reading others' entirely-different suspicions (and rebuttals to same), though! Carry on.

[Kalamazoo]

Learning hairstyles seems like a great idea, the best all-around. I think some folks use things like dry shampoo or hairspray to make their hair a little less slippery. And some buns take less than a minute to make, so you can enjoy your hair being down most of the time & just get it out of the way when necessary.

Getting a haircut right now, though... hmmm... If you were to cut your hair now, then next month, would your boyfriend be expecting you to cut it again? & the month after that? & the next month? Would this turn into a pattern? Would it lead to your never being able to grow your hair past a certain length for the rest of your boyfriend's life?

Braids are easy to get out of the way in one handful, with no stick to poke anybody in the eye. Maybe a single braid on the side you don't tend to sleep on?

Satin sleep bonnets. Walmart has some inexpensive ones in the ethnic haircare section. Etsy has fancier ones. Or you could tie a scarf...

[elsiedeluxe]

Agree with everyone else. Your hair is literally my hair goal, and I see absolutely no reason to cut it if you're enjoying it. I think what's happening here on the forum in response to your post is that many many of us have come to long hair after soul-searching and realizing that we ARE long hairs, and that the opinions of others are just not relevant. For some of us, including me, we are overcoming the unkind or thoughtless words of other people, sometimes many other people, who have negative opinions of long hair. So... your hair is up to you. You can change it "for him" if that's what YOU want to do, but know that's why you're doing it, and when it's done, ask yourself if it was worth it.

A story: when I first met my now-husband (25 years ago) my hair was to my hips and I'd had several boyfriends who were really, really into it. That seemed weird to me, and it was interesting to me that this didn't seem to be the case with this new guy. He seemed interested in me for my own sake, for who I actually was, not for what I looked like. After we were together for a few years, I had my hair cut into a bob, and I remember being nervous walking home from the salon, wondering what he was going to think. He didn't blink, didn't mention it, it literally didn't matter to him in the least whether my hair was long or short or gone. He didn't care. I believe this aspect of our relationship was a huge factor in my decision to marry him, and there is no question that marrying him was a good move. We're still together, still happy, still enjoying each other's company every day.

[elsiedeluxe]

Oh, one last thing: my hair is not as long as yours, but it is fine and straight and wispy. I literally cannot have it down in bed, because it just goes everywhere. Sleep braids are a must.

[Kalamazoo]

Oh, one last thing: my hair is not as long as yours, but it is fine and straight and wispy. I literally cannot have it down in bed, because it just goes everywhere. Sleep braids are a must.

Which means, cutting it too short to braid would be a problem, unless you went super-short. But if super-short's too short for you, then there's an awkward stage in growing it out again, where it's too long to be out-of-the-way, but too short to braid (unless you get good at French or Dutch Braids...)

[neko_kawaii]

Which means, cutting it too short to braid would be a problem, unless you went super-short. But if super-short's too short for you, then there's an awkward stage in growing it out again, where it's too long to be out-of-the-way, but too short to braid (unless you get good at French or Dutch Braids...)

That awkward stage where it is no longer a pixie but too short to braid is the worst for partners, BTW. Hair in their face constantly.

[Kat]

Ohhhhh nooooo. No, no, no. I do not tolerate significant others expecting me to change who I am for them. And yes, I've had SOs who have been told before that if they don't like the way I am, I can point them to the door, or if they want someone who is/does X, they're welcome to go and find that person. Unless what I'm doing is inappropriate or hurtful, someone else doesn't get to tell me to change just because they are different or prefer someone who is.

Too many relationships go kaput because one or both people got involved with someone else not because they liked who the person was, but liked the person they wanted to mold them into. Nope. My rule is, I fall for someone because I like who they are, already, right then. If I don't like who they are, I find someone who's more to my liking, not try to change them. And I expect the same from the person I'm involved with. The guy I almost married decided to grow a beard. I really am not into facial hair. But, it was his face and he was allowed to do whatever he wanted to it, to look the way he wanted to. If I really couldn't handle being with a guy with facial hair, I could have left him. Another guy wore tighty-whities. Sooo not sexy. But, he didn't try to tell me what underwear to wear and I wasn't going to tell him, either.

I was with a guy who sort of hinted a couple times that he might like my hair shorter. He was smart enough to never come out and say so-- or maybe he was smart enough to realize that my appearance was not something he got a say in.

I have a friend who told me he was going to cut his hair because his girlfriend wanted him to, was hounding him to do it. I was livid when he told me that. Was his hair rather shaggy? Yeah. So what? Not her decision. He liked his hair the way it was.

If I wanted my hair shorter, I'd cut it that way, all on my own, without prompting. I have done in the past. I don't understand people who think they have to make suggestions about someone else's appearance. My mom used to try that-- "you should wear this, you should do your makeup or hair like that." I think I finally pointed out to her-- "I'm 30-some years old. By now don't you think that if I look a certain way, it's because I want to, not just because I never considered anything else or never got around to changing it?" A friend was telling me the other day about someone she used to know who wore (what she thought was) unflattering makeup. Since she's really into makeup, I asked her if she ever made suggestions to the person. She shrugged. "No. I figured she probably did her makeup that way because she liked it, so why would I tell her to change it?"



Now for my actual input - he literally just suggested it. You don't have to leave someone for making a suggestion. The world's population would be a lot lower if the tipping point in a relationship was a suggestion of doing something. He makes the suggestion, you say no, life goes on.

If someone thinks it's even appropriate to suggest to me that who I am/what I look like is not good enough for them and needs to change, that's still a problem. It's not something that should ever even be said to someone. And if I'm in a relationship with someone who doesn't know that, that's a problem. It implies lack of tact, lack of awareness of what is socially-appropriate, lack of knowing me (and that I am not cool with that BS), on top of the issue that I am in a relationship with a person who both doesn't like the way I look and thinks they should get to dictate that. No.



This. Everybody is making this poor guy out to be the devil from 1 sentence? This is the most biased jury I've ever seen. My guess is that OP often mentions going short and bf thinks that she'll really like short hair. To convince herself to keep growing OP has probably talked about how long hair is cheaper (from no salon visits) so bf may have taken that as, "I really want short hair but the maintenance/salon visits will be really expensive and I don't want to spend that much money. And kindly offered to pay for the cut, since OP seems to want to try short hair.

So then he says, "Yeah, I think you'd look great in short hair; you should go for it if it's what you want." Not that he will take her to the salon to get it cut. Wow. No. Not his decision, not his place. If she wants to waffle about it forever, that's her prerogative. You don't pack me up in your car and drag me to a place where they will make me into what you want rather than what I am. Nope.



Sorry I didn't read what everyone else wrote yet but... I don't see harm in expressing a desire about something physical on your partner. I mean pressuring them into it is different.

My husband has short hair, has to because he is in the military but I constantly tell him I would love for him to grow his hair long once he is out. He's never said he wants long hair but I bring it up from time to time.

I'm not saying it in a pressure-some way I just am letting him know a desire of mine, damn if we can't say what we think/feel to our partner who can we say it to?

Then you say, "You know, I think you might look nice with shorter hair." And drop it. Again, you do NOT tell a person you want to put them in the car and take them to get their hair cut. That has a level of coercion or force introduced. It's what your parent does when you're 12 or 14 years old and they're adamant you will not live under their roof with long hair-- "get in the car. We're going to get your hair cut." It's what your friends do when it goes beyond their opinions or suggestions into almost a mandate: "we will pay and take you to get your hair cut because we can't stand the way you look to that extent."

No. Not something you do to a grown, independent, mature adult when you respect them and their wishes.

[lapushka]

evilpanda, some of us wear bonnets at night (lovely for containing the hair) or braids, you can also shorten the braid by folding it in on itself and securing it like that.

And there are plenty of nice updos on this board, ask away, that you can probably already do at your length!

[EdG]

In addition to him trying to change her, the other thing that is causing the warning lights to come on is that she is girlfriend #3. :run:
Ed

[TreesOfEternity]

Ohhhhh nooooo. No, no, no. I do not tolerate significant others expecting me to change who I am for them. And yes, I've had SOs who have been told before that if they don't like the way I am, I can point them to the door, or if they want someone who is/does X, they're welcome to go and find that person. Unless what I'm doing is inappropriate or hurtful, someone else doesn't get to tell me to change just because they are different or prefer someone who is.

Too many relationships go kaput because one or both people got involved with someone else not because they liked who the person was, but liked the person they wanted to mold them into. Nope. My rule is, I fall for someone because I like who they are, already, right then. If I don't like who they are, I find someone who's more to my liking, not try to change them. And I expect the same from the person I'm involved with. The guy I almost married decided to grow a beard. I really am not into facial hair. But, it was his face and he was allowed to do whatever he wanted to it, to look the way he wanted to. If I really couldn't handle being with a guy with facial hair, I could have left him. Another guy wore tighty-whities. Sooo not sexy. But, he didn't try to tell me what underwear to wear and I wasn't going to tell him, either.

I was with a guy who sort of hinted a couple times that he might like my hair shorter. He was smart enough to never come out and say so-- or maybe he was smart enough to realize that my appearance was not something he got a say in.

I have a friend who told me he was going to cut his hair because his girlfriend wanted him to, was hounding him to do it. I was livid when he told me that. Was his hair rather shaggy? Yeah. So what? Not her decision. He liked his hair the way it was.

If I wanted my hair shorter, I'd cut it that way, all on my own, without prompting. I have done in the past. I don't understand people who think they have to make suggestions about someone else's appearance. My mom used to try that-- "you should wear this, you should do your makeup or hair like that." I think I finally pointed out to her-- "I'm 30-some years old. By now don't you think that if I look a certain way, it's because I want to, not just because I never considered anything else or never got around to changing it?" A friend was telling me the other day about someone she used to know who wore (what she thought was) unflattering makeup. Since she's really into makeup, I asked her if she ever made suggestions to the person. She shrugged. "No. I figured she probably did her makeup that way because she liked it, so why would I tell her to change it?"




If someone thinks it's even appropriate to suggest to me that who I am/what I look like is not good enough for them and needs to change, that's still a problem. It's not something that should ever even be said to someone. And if I'm in a relationship with someone who doesn't know that, that's a problem. It implies lack of tact, lack of awareness of what is socially-appropriate, lack of knowing me (and that I am not cool with that BS), on top of the issue that I am in a relationship with a person who both doesn't like the way I look and thinks they should get to dictate that. No.




So then he says, "Yeah, I think you'd look great in short hair; you should go for it if it's what you want." Not that he will take her to the salon to get it cut. Wow. No. Not his decision, not his place. If she wants to waffle about it forever, that's her prerogative. You don't pack me up in your car and drag me to a place where they will make me into what you want rather than what I am. Nope.




Then you say, "You know, I think you might look nice with shorter hair." And drop it. Again, you do NOT tell a person you want to put them in the car and take them to get their hair cut. That has a level of coercion or force introduced. It's what your parent does when you're 12 or 14 years old and they're adamant you will not live under their roof with long hair-- "get in the car. We're going to get your hair cut." It's what your friends do when it goes beyond their opinions or suggestions into almost a mandate: "we will pay and take you to get your hair cut because we can't stand the way you look to that extent."

No. Not something you do to a grown, independent, mature adult when you respect them and their wishes.


Yep, to me it sounds extremelly paternalist. "Cut your hair/put it up so we can see your beautiful face", that's what my granny would say when I was a kid, as kids are usually seen as accesories and obviously can't make their own decissions.

It sounds so condescendent and objetifying, I would feel like an accesory of his instead of a human being.

[Laurab]

In addition to him trying to change her, the other thing that is causing the warning lights to come on is that she is girlfriend #3. :run:
Ed

Wait, what? Dating three people isn't abnormal lol. If it was three wives or three fiance's I'd be worried but it's not.

I've got plenty of friends who've dated more than three people seriously.

[lunalocks]

Please don't cave in to someone else's desires. It's your hair.

I wear my hair up at night, on the top of head, with spin pins to keep it in place. There are plenty of other ways to wear it so it does not, ummm, get in the way.

I once had a boyfriend who went on and on about how he wanted me to grow my hair much LONGER. I promptly cut it up to my ears.

[EdG]

Wait, what? Dating three people isn't abnormal lol. If it was three wives or three fiance's I'd be worried but it's not.

I've got plenty of friends who've dated more than three people seriously. Three is enough to detect a pattern. The OP should find out what went wrong with girlfriends #1 and #2.
Ed

[blackgothicdoll]

Three is enough to detect a pattern. The OP should find out what went wrong with girlfriends #1 and #2.
Ed

Sometimes people don't work out :( that's kind of a strong judgement :o

[EdG]

Sometimes people don't work out :( that's kind of a strong judgement :oI think there are things in life that one gets to do only once. After that, one becomes "older and wiser". :)
Ed

[MusicalSpoons]

I think there are things in life that one gets to do only once. After that, one becomes "older and wiser". :)
Ed

I believe that one should only date if one is serious about spending their life with that person - of course it doesn't always work out, but in that context 3 would be somewhat concerning. However, I also know that the majority of the world (or the westernised world, at least) don't see it that way, in which case 3+ is perfectly normal for them.

[The-Young-Maid]

Some of you guys really need to calm down. It is only hair after all. Too many people here are acting as tho this guy is the same as their sh*tty ex who controlled them blah blah blah. Your views on this are clearly biased. Biased doesn't equal educated on the subject. And nobody asked for your life story (maybe a trip to the friendship board is in order?). OP is an adult and is fully capable of making her own decisions, but looks like you're projecting about that too.

I just see too many people jumping to conclusions. How do you think that makes OP feel? You guys don't know anything about this man but just reading the title puts your panties in a twist. This is a super judgmental thread and it's really gross.

You're not offering gentle suggestions or advice; you're straight up vilifying him and telling OP that you'd DUMP him. OH HE'S AWFUL AND CONTROLLING. Really?!

[Sarahlabyrinth]

Some of you guys really need to calm down. It is only hair after all. Too many people here are acting as tho this guy is the same as their sh*tty ex who controlled them blah blah blah. Your views on this are clearly biased. Biased doesn't equal educated on the subject. And nobody asked for your life story (maybe a trip to the friendship board is in order?). OP is an adult and is fully capable of making her own decisions, but looks like you're projecting about that too.

I just see too many people jumping to conclusions. How do you think that makes OP feel? You guys don't know anything about this man but just reading the title puts your panties in a twist. This is a super judgmental thread and it's really gross.

You're not offering gentle suggestions or advice; you're straight up vilifying him and telling OP that you'd DUMP him. OH HE'S AWFUL AND CONTROLLING. Really?!

Well, not everyone is suggesting she dump him.

[The-Young-Maid]

I believe that one should only date if one is serious about spending their life with that person - of course it doesn't always work out, but in that context 3 would be somewhat concerning. However, I also know that the majority of the world (or the westernised world, at least) don't see it that way, in which case 3+ is perfectly normal for them.

To be fair, sometimes it takes that many tries to decide what you really want/need in a partner. Especially if you're young. For both my bf and I three is the lucky number lol

[Kalamazoo]

Ed's a man. A gentleman is sometimes better at sizing up another guy than a lady would be, just because he's got the same hormones & knows how the male half of the species thinks. We women, when we're young and unsure of ourselves, we tend to be too flexible, too eager to please, resulting in a tendancy to give away the farm. Don't discount what Ed's saying!

In the end, OP, this is a life-changing decision for you. Many women/girls cry when they cut their hair ~ for a long time (months, years, decades) because our hair can be a very large part of our self-image, and when it's gone, it's gone. Life just isn't the same. Short hairstyles take a lot of upkeep, if you're used to the wash-and-go freedom of long, swingy locks. If & when you choose to make that change (& there are a lot of perfectly valid reasons for doing so), it needs to be for the right reason. It will change who you are, because people react differently if you look different.

And will your boyfriend still like you after you've cut your hair? Mine didn't.

A good way to find out if this relationship is actually a good one or not is to test Dear Boyfriend by lovingly, graciously, standing your ground, and saying, "No. This is who I am. Who knows who I'll be if I cut my hair? If you don't love me the way I am now, then you don't love me."

Yes, you run the risk of losing your boyfriend.

Or, you can do as I did and lose BOTH your hair and your boyfriend.

IF he loves you enough to stay with you with your long hair, then perhaps a year or 10 years from now, you may eventually decide that yes, you do want short hair after all. That's OK. But I feel like you should take this opportunity to test him & find out if this is THE Relationship that you want to be in for the rest of your life.

[Laurab]

I believe that one should only date if one is serious about spending their life with that person - of course it doesn't always work out, but in that context 3 would be somewhat concerning. However, I also know that the majority of the world (or the westernised world, at least) don't see it that way, in which case 3+ is perfectly normal for them.

I'd say even if you do date seriously it can be more than three for valid reasons.
using a friend of mine as an example:

Relationship one: They were in high school, he was awful to her, but it was her first serious relationship so it was hard for her to step away from it.
Relationship two: He was a nice enough guy but they would fight a lot, he didn't get along well with a lot of her friends, it just wasn't the right fit.
Relationship three: Started up very close to the end of relationship two, they became really serious really fast, but they wanted different things. He moved out of the state for work and long distance was hard. He was interested in joining the military or the police academy and she didn't want that because she was worried about his safety.

She's only about 23 now, but each of these relationships lasted over two years, she was serious about all of them and I think she learned a lot from each relationship. She's being single for a while now, she needs a break, but my point is the fact that she's been in three serious relationships already isn't a red flag.
I do think finding out why previous relationships ended is a good idea, but my guess is it had nothing to do with hair :laugh:

[EdG]

To be fair, sometimes it takes that many tries to decide what you really want/need in a partner. Especially if you're young. For both my bf and I three is the lucky number lol It also takes only one try to say "Been there, done that, never again". ;)

Hopefully, the OP got something out of this thread. We are a diverse group with only long hair in common. :)
Ed

[The-Young-Maid]

Okay... but relationships are all different. And you learn something new from each one...?

[MusicalSpoons]

To be fair, sometimes it takes that many tries to decide what you really want/need in a partner. Especially if you're young. For both my bf and I three is the lucky number lol


I'd say even if you do date seriously it can be more than three for valid reasons.
using a friend of mine as an example:

Relationship one: They were in high school, he was awful to her, but it was her first serious relationship so it was hard for her to step away from it.
Relationship two: He was a nice enough guy but they would fight a lot, he didn't get along well with a lot of her friends, it just wasn't the right fit.
Relationship three: Started up very close to the end of relationship two, they became really serious really fast, but they wanted different things. He moved out of the state for work and long distance was hard. He was interested in joining the military or the police academy and she didn't want that because she was worried about his safety.

She's only about 23 now, but each of these relationships lasted over two years, she was serious about all of them and I think she learned a lot from each relationship. She's being single for a while now, she needs a break, but my point is the fact that she's been in three serious relationships already isn't a red flag.
I do think finding out why previous relationships ended is a good idea, but my guess is it had nothing to do with hair :laugh:

I would like to clarify that I don't judge others based on that standard, because a) it's not my place and b) their circumstances and background are probably very different. All of my friends who have married didn't necessarily hold that same standard either but the thing they all have in common is courting people whom they already knew as friends, and then took the relationship a step further when it organically took that direction [I won't say 'naturally' because that could imply it being inevitable for friendships when clearly that's not the case!] Also waiting until one is older and/or more mature to even start dating helps, because one knows oneself better and has probably learned already the fundamentals of what they need/want in a partner.

But like I said, most people don't do it that way - in part because it's not usually presented as an option by society in general.

ANYway, OT much! As for the hair issue, I'm still not seeing the red flags. Maybe a potential amber flag, depending on the rest of the circumstances which we of course don't know! Even saying short hair would be easier for both of them implies to me that he just doesn't know what he's talking about - exactly like most non-longhairs outside LHC! Women are conditioned to think that short hair is less work so how can we expect an average guy to know any different? :shrug:

Heck, my Mum would *love* my Dad to have ANY opinion, rather than a non-commital shrug and "it's up to you, do/wear what you want" even when she explicitly asks what he thinks. But again, coming from a very different background from most commenters anyway, by the sounds of it.

[neko_kawaii]

Heck, my Mum would *love* my Dad to have ANY opinion, rather than a non-commital shrug and "it's up to you, do/wear what you want" even when she explicitly asks what he thinks. But again, coming from a very different background from most commenters anyway, by the sounds of it.

Totally off topic: I'm sewing a pair of slacks and I can't see how they fit in the back so I asked my husband to help me and he practically ran away crying* "Don't ask me how the pants fit!" It took a while to convince him I wanted to know if they fit correctly so I could modify them if needed, not if they looked good.


*I'm totally exaggerating. The socially expected minefield of what someone is supposed to say to their partner about how the pants look is an ongoing joke with us.

Still off topic, we were getting dressed to go to see Les Mis and I asked him which of two necklaces I should wear. Both matched and I was undecided. He said, "Which one is quieter?"


Back on topic: Hair grows. If you have never had a short cut and are up for the adventure, go for it. If you really do like your hair as it is find other ways to keep it out of the way in those situations where it is in the way.

[Alila]

I think it would be important to find out why your boy friend suggested the cut. Does he prefer short hair in general, want to see your face more or is he just annoyed that it gets in the way all the time?

If he preferes short hairstyles you two will have to find a middle ground.

If it's not that, you can show your face of more by wearing your hair in a different way, getting bangs and/or face framing layers. (You could go to the hairdresser for this with your bf, make it a romantic occasion)
A half up is a good styling option too. It doesn't take long to do and it leaves the rest of your hair down if you prefer that.

I can totally see why your bf would be annoyed by your long hair being in the way all the time. You can lessen this by wearing a braid. I myself prefer side braids since they are super quick to do and since my barid is in front of me it's easy to kind of supervise it and move it out of the way. Of cource your bf will still have to be a bit carefull but its a lot easier to move a braid aside than to gather up a bunch of loose strands.

For buns I would suggest trying the chameleon bun by Haartraum on Youtube. I also have fairly slipery hair and this one holds perfectly for me.

[lapushka]

evilpanda, it all boils down to what *you* want. If you feel it's time to experiment (let's leave BF's comments out of it) and go short, I say give it 2 weeks to mull it over (see the 2-week-rule thread) and then possibly go for it.

But if you want to keep your long hair, and want to even keep growing, then there are options. Updo's, sleep braids and updos, sleep bonnets, and updos during the day.

You know your BF best. ;)

[Jane99]

Since you asked for thoughts...
Echoing the responses of others... I recommend doing what you would like for your hair. As far as length goes. I don’t think you should cut it unless you want to make that change, for the sake of your own appearance happiness.
Hair is really important, especially to the people of this forum. It is a big factor in how we define ourselves, how we believe we appear to others, the outward projection of our inner selves. I have gone through times when I was happy and proud of my hair and also dissatisfied with it, wanting it to be different. It makes a difference in how I feel about myself, especially as a person who has to pee like 17 times a day, and I see myself in the mirror, and when my hair looks to my satisfaction it helps me feel better and more confident about myself. I believe others pick up on that vibe too.
I do wonder if you went on the forum for the Short Hair Community if you would get a different response. Like, “If that is what you want to do, take the chance and make a change! Worse that could happen is you have to wait a few years for it to grow back!” And so although the responses you are getting are supportive, “do what you want” maybe if you had more supportive feedback like “you’ll save so much on shampoo!” You’d be more enthusiastic or perhaps see a different pros vs cons list as you make your decision.
I tend to only cut my hair short when I am thoroughly dissatisfied with my long hair. It’s never made it past maybe BSL (is that bra strap length?). But this time when I was considering this cut, I decided to color it and I’m so happy I did.
My partner has complained that my hair tickles his face when we are sleeping, so I just tuck my length away from him and it’s just fine.
He has given me opinions before when requested. Or offered his thoughts if he thinks I’m about to make a decision I’ll regret. But ultimately I do what I want with my hair and that’s how it is. I would have a difficult time with a partner who was more pushy especially with looks because I wear the same pair of jeans almost every day, suck at makeup, barely shave in the winter, and would just not feel comfortable with a partner that I felt self conscious about my appearance with.
I have also given him my opinions when asked about his appearance. I don’t care about most things, but when he grew out his beard I complemented him all the time, and I love it on him, and he pretty much always has a beard now. Partly because he knows I love it, partly because it’s much easier not to shave every day. If he started shaving again, I’d probably make a comment “you shaved!” And that would be it. Because I love him and not his beard.
Side note, I have straight hair and do things to make it voluminous because I dont like it so so so straight and flat to my head. I’ve had ideas on how cute short reverse bobs would look (short in the back, long in front, lots of layers) and it’s never come out how I’d ideally like it to. Then I grow it out back long. I’m glad I colored it this time when I needed a change. And taking the time to condition it and take care of it and try to make it healthy

[cjk]

Y'all are such girls.

There are two things in this thread literally make me laugh. The first is your nearly universal assumption that his suggestion is something hostile. Most immediately jumped on the bandwagon and it's unjustified.

But the second thing is the assumption that his suggestion has anything to do with aesthetics. I would almost bet that if aesthetics are even in his thought process, they're way down the list.

It's a fundamental difference in the way we are wired. Men are hardwired to find, identify, and solve problems.

I would be more inclined to believe in each warning you play about how your hair got all its hustle and it takes you 45 minutes to brush out the knots.

Or you are currently in an awkward stage and have said a few things about how dissatisfied you are with the way your hair looked one day.

Generally you may like it, but I promise you that his brain picks up on those types of things.

Do it enough times and ding ding ding, problem identified. Solution, cut hair shorter.

Corollary, girls like going to the beauty parlor which means it will earn him bonus points.

Corollary two, no more hair in his mouth when you kiss. Win for him too.

No malice whatsoever.

I'm guessing as to the problem, but this is the way our brains work.

[blackgothicdoll]

Y'all are such girls.

That is incredibly unfair and uncalled for.

To elaborate, no one's opinion is wrong, but you can make an opinion without generalizing and insulting everyone. There are a few of us who did not give the boyfriend the third degree, even those who did don't need to be insulted, they have their opinions whether we agree or disagree.

[jane_marie]

This thread has been really illuminating. I would have never imagined people would have such different opinions on dating.

My earlier sarcasm aside, I really do think the best solution might be to learn some updos. OPs hair looks like a good length to start doing something.

We don't have enough information to assume this guy is controlling. Odds are these two are just young and haven't figured out relationships yet. At the end of the day the best thing we can do it to urge OP to do what she wants. :shrug:

[MusicalSpoons]

Totally off topic: I'm sewing a pair of slacks and I can't see how they fit in the back so I asked my husband to help me and he practically ran away crying* "Don't ask me how the pants fit!" It took a while to convince him I wanted to know if they fit correctly so I could modify them if needed, not if they looked good.


*I'm totally exaggerating. The socially expected minefield of what someone is supposed to say to their partner about how the pants look is an ongoing joke with us.

Still off topic, we were getting dressed to go to see Les Mis and I asked him which of two necklaces I should wear. Both matched and I was undecided. He said, "Which one is quieter?"


Back on topic: Hair grows. If you have never had a short cut and are up for the adventure, go for it. If you really do like your hair as it is find other ways to keep it out of the way in those situations where it is in the way.

Hehe, poor guy! I hate the way society makes it into a minefield when actually if people just said what they meant (or tried to, in the case of having difficulties finding the right words) there would be no problem! Even in relationships with even the most open and honest communication it doesn't fully undo the years of societal expectations having been drummed into them. (In fairness, over the last couple of years my Dad has started sometimes voicing an opinion when asked whereas in years past he absolutely didn't - it's only taken 30+ years of marriage!)

... and back on topic!

[desisparkles]

That is incredibly unfair and uncalled for.

To elaborate, no one's opinion is wrong, but you can make an opinion without generalizing and insulting everyone. There are a few of us who did not give the boyfriend the third degree, even those who did don't need to be insulted, they have their opinions whether we agree or disagree.

completely agree with you doll.

[Sarahlabyrinth]

Y'all are such girls.

There are two things in this thread literally make me laugh. The first is your nearly universal assumption that his suggestion is something hostile. Most immediately jumped on the bandwagon and it's unjustified.

But the second thing is the assumption that his suggestion has anything to do with aesthetics. I would almost bet that if aesthetics are even in his thought process, they're way down the list.

It's a fundamental difference in the way we are wired. Men are hardwired to find, identify, and solve problems.

I would be more inclined to believe in each warning you play about how your hair got all its hustle and it takes you 45 minutes to brush out the knots.

Or you are currently in an awkward stage and have said a few things about how dissatisfied you are with the way your hair looked one day.

Generally you may like it, but I promise you that his brain picks up on those types of things.

Do it enough times and ding ding ding, problem identified. Solution, cut hair shorter.

Corollary, girls like going to the beauty parlor which means it will earn him bonus points.

Corollary two, no more hair in his mouth when you kiss. Win for him too.

No malice whatsoever.

I'm guessing as to the problem, but this is the way our brains work.

I have a feeling you may be right. :)

[MusicalSpoons]

To elaborate, no one's opinion is wrong, but you can make an opinion without generalizing and insulting everyone. There are a few of us who did not give the boyfriend the third degree, even those who did don't need to be insulted, they have their opinions whether we agree or disagree.

To be clear: I completely agree. However, unfortunately a lot of others who condemned the boyfriend did exactly that - well, maybe not insulting everyone, but indirectly insulting every man who has an opinion on their partner's appearance and every partner of said men. This thread certainly has been eye-opening, to say the least :bigeyes:

EDIT: cjk apart from accidentally insulting us (:p ;)) you make a very interesting point. In fact that's how a lot of people show their love - picking up on things culminating in a solution of whatever form, even though it's not necessarily framed that way or with the thought process explained.

I dunno :shrug: the unfortunate thing is that there are so many legitimate experiences of relationships where such a suggestion truly is a red flag. At the same time, we cannot jump to any conclusions and without knowing the full facts we can't draw any truly accurate conclusions. I just hope we haven't scared OP away.

[Sarahlabyrinth]

I have a feeling you may be right. :)

Right in the sense that men and womens' brains are generally wired differently :) I doubt that the boyfriend meant any harm by his suggestion, he was likely trying to help.

[blackgothicdoll]

To be clear: I completely agree. However, unfortunately a lot of others who condemned the boyfriend did exactly that - well, maybe not insulting everyone, but indirectly insulting every man who has an opinion on their partner's appearance and every partner of said men. This thread certainly has been eye-opening, to say the least :bigeyes:

EDIT: cjk apart from accidentally insulting us (:p ;)) you make a very interesting point. In fact that's how a lot of people show their love - picking up on things culminating in a solution of whatever form, even though it's not necessarily framed that way or with the thought process explained.

I dunno :shrug: the unfortunate thing is that there are so many legitimate experiences of relationships where such a suggestion truly is a red flag. At the same time, we cannot jump to any conclusions and without knowing the full facts we can't draw any truly accurate conclusions. I just hope we haven't scared OP away.

Bolded: I am saying exactly this as well. As you may not recall, my own post did not condemn her BF (or every other man and woman on earth) to hell either, but the insults in this thread pull everyone into one category or another regardless of what they said. Makes it seem like no matter what you say, you'll be hit with the 'you're such a girl' baseball bat of shame, or the 'controlling ebil partner' prison of doom.

I'm afraid to think of what we call people who have had more than one partner :o ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

A conversation can be had without casting stones in either direction. :o

[Sarahlabyrinth]

Is "You are all such girls" an insult? I didn't find it so, in fact I thought it was funny.....

[blackgothicdoll]

Is "You are all such girls" an insult? I didn't find it so, in fact I thought it was funny.....

I find it patronizing but maybe I'm just sensitive to that. I think that categorizing a plethora of posts, all with different content and experiences, and some even belonging to men, and then categorizing it as 'ya'll are such girls' as... not a compliment, I suppose. Context is everything.

[desisparkles]

I find it patronizing but maybe I'm just sensitive to that. I think that categorizing a plethora of posts, all with different content and experiences, and some even belonging to men, and then categorizing it as 'ya'll are such girls' as... not a compliment, I suppose. Context is everything.

I am def sensitive, on a HYPER level, and that's how it came across to me as well.

[Sarahlabyrinth]

I find it patronizing but maybe I'm just sensitive to that. I think that categorizing a plethora of posts, all with different content and experiences, and some even belonging to men, and then categorizing it as 'ya'll are such girls' as... not a compliment, I suppose. Context is everything.

Well, I guess we all see things differently, but that's what makes the LHC such an interesting and vibrant place, all the differing personalities, and varying backgrounds and cultures. Of course tone can be difficult to establish in written text. Anyhow, we're off topic again. Sorry, OP! :)

[desisparkles]

It's like saying, stop being such a caveman. Putting all men in a box of being dumb as rocks and only thinking below the waist.

[Sarahlabyrinth]

It's like saying, stop being such a caveman. Putting all men in a box of being dumb as rocks and only thinking below the waist.

I see what you mean, but I took it as a joke, and nothing meant maliciously.

[desisparkles]

I agree with you too Sarah. I don't think he meant it maliciously but that's a tender spot for me.

[blackgothicdoll]

I see what you mean, but I took it as a joke, and nothing meant maliciously.

It's great that you see it as a joke, but that should not undermine other people's feelings. Again, context is everything.

Anyway, this thread is off the rails. I'm sure by now OP is rocking a bob haircut, pillow talking with her partner and forgot she even posted this.

Or she's strangling him with her hair. We'll never know.

[Sarahlabyrinth]

I'm kind of having a chuckle at LHCers getting all in a pickle about what was likely an innocuous throw away remark (from the boyfriend). I can kind of understand it in a way because we all love long hair - but it's not as though he was chasing her around the room with scissors or anything...

Maybe the OP will get back to us. :)

[MusicalSpoons]

Bolded: I am saying exactly this as well. As you may not recall, my own post did not condemn her BF (or every other man and woman on earth) to hell either, but the insults in this thread pull everyone into one category or another regardless of what they said. Makes it seem like no matter what you say, you'll be hit with the 'you're such a girl' baseball bat of shame, or the 'controlling ebil partner' prison of doom.

I'm afraid to think of what we call people who have had more than one partner :o ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

A conversation can be had without casting stones in either direction. :o

I do recall :) and I agree, particularly with the bolded parts.

[jane_marie]

It's great that you see it as a joke, but that should not undermine other people's feelings. Again, context is everything.

Anyway, this thread is off the rails. I'm sure by now OP is rocking a bob haircut, pillow talking with her partner and forgot she even posted this.

Or she's strangling him with her hair. We'll never know.

:rolling::rolling:

[EdG]

Another possibility is that we are being trolled. I can't think of a better way to do that than to put the words "hair" and "cut" in a thread title. ;)
Ed

[GoddesJourney]

Another possibility is that we are being trolled. I can't think of a better way to do that than to put the words "hair" and "cut" in a thread title. ;)
Ed

Bingo. I had considered this but didn't think it mattered. It's unappealing to me, but there obviously are many people out there that get something out of stirring up drama and trying to get people to argue.

[blackgothicdoll]

What I'm hearing is, you all want to hear some cheese jokes.

What is cheese without a cracker?

Crackalackin'! :D

[GoddesJourney]

What I'm hearing is, you all want to hear some cheese jokes.

What is cheese without a cracker?

Crackalackin'! :D

Haha. Classic LHC.

[Ligeia Noire]

Some of you guys really need to calm down. It is only hair after all. Too many people here are acting as tho this guy is the same as their sh*tty ex who controlled them blah blah blah. Your views on this are clearly biased. Biased doesn't equal educated on the subject. And nobody asked for your life story (maybe a trip to the friendship board is in order?). OP is an adult and is fully capable of making her own decisions, but looks like you're projecting about that too.

I just see too many people jumping to conclusions. How do you think that makes OP feel? You guys don't know anything about this man but just reading the title puts your panties in a twist. This is a super judgmental thread and it's really gross.

You're not offering gentle suggestions or advice; you're straight up vilifying him and telling OP that you'd DUMP him. OH HE'S AWFUL AND CONTROLLING. Really?!

I agree with you. Another example of an Lhc blown out of proportion and fuelled by some ever present men hating..
Lol it truly made me laugh though... all the oh my god he is evil! No one should tell you what to do kind of comment..

Is the OP even replying anymore?
Priceless, a remark about one person to his girlfriend about hair...
People make comments and suggestions about one's hair and clothes all the time...
Bewareeeeeee!

[AmaryllisRed]

Another possibility is that we are being trolled. I can't think of a better way to do that than to put the words "hair" and "cut" in a thread title. ;)
Ed

This was my initial thought when the profile picture (which is all over the internet) does not match the hair type described, the post is a controversial one, and the poster is new. I could be wrong.

[*Wednesday*]

..Is the OP even replying anymore?
Priceless, a remark about one person to his girlfriend about hair..!

That what I came back to check. Looks like she didn’t come back :(

[MusicalSpoons]

Another possibility is that we are being trolled. I can't think of a better way to do that than to put the words "hair" and "cut" in a thread title. ;)
Ed

A Google image search shows OP's pic hosted on a hair education site (http://www.efrizer.com/frizure-za-dugu-kosu/ravnakosa/) (I have no idea) with the pic's own URL indicating it was uploaded in August 2015! http://www.efrizer.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/08/ravnakosa.jpg I don't know if that's the original source and it's certainly done the rounds on Pinterest at least, but either way the pic is at least 4 1/2 years old so I am therefore convinced you're right. No way is that OP's own picture because it would be utterly bizarre to post such an old pic for an apparently recent situation.

[EdG]

MusicalSpoons - that is excellent sleuthing. :hifive:

At least the board received some ad revenue. :)
Ed

[jane_marie]

Conspiracy Theory: The fake account and subsequent post was created by the mods to increase ad revenue. :confused:

Just kidding! This thread was a wild ride! Thanks all!

[MusicalSpoons]

MusicalSpoons - that is excellent sleuthing. :hifive:

At least the board received some ad revenue. :)
Ed

:hifive: Hehe, thank you but Google make it extremely easy nowadays. Used to be a nightmare trying to source images but now it's reasonably easy (Pinterest aside). It's great for weeding out fake reviews too, especially for the stupid Facebook/Instagram adverts for miracle products claiming to have hundreds of rave reviews. A bit of Google-fu goes a long way :D


EDIT:
Conspiracy Theory: The fake account and subsequent post was created by the mods to increase ad revenue. :confused:

Just kidding! This thread was a wild ride! Thanks all!

(just saw your post) :rollin: :rollin: :rollin:

[blackgothicdoll]

Interesting! The 4 posts was the red flag for me, even though her join date shows July. That's a long time of pondering before finding the perfect ruse. I would have preferred some more character development, and perhaps a plot twist or so, but that's just me. 2/10 would not buy again.

[MusicalSpoons]

Interesting! The 4 posts was the red flag for me, even though her join date shows July. That's a long time of pondering before finding the perfect ruse. I would have preferred some more character development, and perhaps a plot twist or so, but that's just me. 2/10 would not buy again.

:applause

Yeah the join date threw me, which is why I didn't really entertain the thought before. Clearly someone with FAR too much time on their hands! (Though not quite enough time to get their head around the typing system - a rookie mistake.)


Also, crackalackin' - LOL!!! :laugh:

[jane_marie]

(just saw your post) :rollin: :rollin: :rollin:

Thanks. I'll be here all week.

[littlestarface]

Oof this forum loves these kind of threads dont you lol. 12 pages of all kinds,, from hes controlling! boot em, to op is a fraud :rollin: :rollin:

[CuteCrow]

it sounds to me more like someone's boyfriend created this fake account to try to get tips on how to convince his girlgriend to cut her hair for him :lol:

[silkystrandz]

Hi I am a woman of a certain age..... I have many times in the past changed my hair drastically for a man. I always looked in the mirror and thought who was he trying to make me look like? Im older and wiser and have finally learned to love who I am and I have discovered what feels like me. If you think that doing this will in someway make you feel less "you" then dont do it!! Remember, God has made your beauty unique to you. You have lived in your body and seen your own face more than anyone else. In other words if it wont make you feel beautiful then dont do it.

[Climber]

Oof this forum loves these kind of threads dont you lol. 12 pages of all kinds,, from hes controlling! boot em, to op is a fraud :rollin: :rollin:

And don't forget the heapin' helpin' of gender essentialism! :D

[0xalis]

I'm gonna go ahead and say if I was a mod I would have closed this thread. Drama galore... :rolleyes:

[Sarahlabyrinth]

And don't forget the heapin' helpin' of gender essentialism! :D

What's that?

[gustavonut]

God you guys sure do love fake drama :tmi: