Thinking about cutting my hair

[tlatzoteotl]

I've been growing my hair for over two years, and it is now longer than it ever has been in my life (between tailbone & classic length). I've been putting my hair up in a nautilus bun pretty much every day for all this time. I *just* barely managed an infinity bun on Christmas Eve. It looked beautiful, but it's not something I can easily recreate. My hair can't be too squeaky clean or too oily. I discovered the Spock Bun, but it's super difficult with how thick my hair is vs. how small my hands are (to quote Tori Amos, "I need bigger hands...it's tough"). The Lazy Wrap bun is impossible. And, the longer it gets the more time I have to spend detangling, which historically hasn't been an issue for me. I've tried doing the whole search & destroy thing, but it's SO time consuming. And it's SO HEAVY. I see a chiropractor monthly for a car accident-related neck injury, and I've started getting headaches more frequently.

I'm just not really experiencing any upsides to having super long hair. I thought I could do more with my hair, but I think it would have to be knee length before I could do anything particularly intricate. All the issues I just outlined are going to get worse and worse, and in the meantime I'm just doing the same bun every day anyway.

Anyone else out there ever feel like this? If you cut your hair, how much did you cut? Did you donate it?

[SnowDancer]

I've donated my hair before but it was at a salon and I'm not sure where the hair ended up which is a little sketchy. Have you thought about layers to thin it out a bit?

Honestly, it's your hair and it's on your head. If it's not making you happy then why not change it?

[spidermom]

If the transition from short hair to long were quicker, I'd cut my hair a lot more often. I've grown out to classic length in the past, became annoyed with it, and began to dream of collarbone-length hair. I should have cut it from classic to collarbone in one cut, then I could have kept the braid. However, in keeping with LHC advice, I cut it back in increments, first to hip, then to waist, then to BSL, and finally to the collarbone that I had wanted all along. I liked it so much that I kept between shoulder and collarbone for about 2 years.

Now I'm on the grow again, about mid-back length currently. There are advantages and disadvantages to every length.

[MusicalSpoons]

What is it about the LWB that makes it impossible? (Just curious; my issue when I learned it was too much length with too little thickness, but as a iii I doubt that's your problem.)

If you're considering cutting anyway, maybe try layers first? Then if you don't like them, you can cut them out all in one go.

[lapushka]

I've been growing my hair for over two years, and it is now longer than it ever has been in my life (between tailbone & classic length). I've been putting my hair up in a nautilus bun pretty much every day for all this time. I *just* barely managed an infinity bun on Christmas Eve. It looked beautiful, but it's not something I can easily recreate. My hair can't be too squeaky clean or too oily. I discovered the Spock Bun, but it's super difficult with how thick my hair is vs. how small my hands are (to quote Tori Amos, "I need bigger hands...it's tough"). The Lazy Wrap bun is impossible. And, the longer it gets the more time I have to spend detangling, which historically hasn't been an issue for me. I've tried doing the whole search & destroy thing, but it's SO time consuming. And it's SO HEAVY. I see a chiropractor monthly for a car accident-related neck injury, and I've started getting headaches more frequently.

I'm just not really experiencing any upsides to having super long hair. I thought I could do more with my hair, but I think it would have to be knee length before I could do anything particularly intricate. All the issues I just outlined are going to get worse and worse, and in the meantime I'm just doing the same bun every day anyway.

Anyone else out there ever feel like this? If you cut your hair, how much did you cut? Did you donate it?

Growing hair takes a lot of patience, and you *have* that, see how far you've gotten already. Maybe classic length is the farthest you can go, and there is *no* shame in that. Look at me. Classic, layered (because iii) is my jam.

But you do you! You have to decide for yourself, and with that neck injury, I do understand... it's not easy!

[tlatzoteotl]

The reason I say the LWB is impossible is because I've never been able to manage it. My hair has either been too short or my hands weren't big enough or it was too difficult to loosen up enough to get the stick in place. Maybe I didn't find the right tutorial - most tutorials I've had change up the hold to account for the fact that my hair is thicker than the person doing the video (using just my thumb as the center instead of 3 or 4 fingers, for example).

My hair has been layered in the past, but I wasn't happy with the way it looked.

I've been examining my reasons for wanting to grow my hair long. Mainly I wanted to stop using hair ties, except to hold braids, & be able to quickly get my hair out of my face, which meant learning how to use hairsticks. I'll still be able to do this if I go back to the length in my profile pic.

[Dung Beetle]

About a month ago, I cut mine back from near waist length to bra strap length (about six inches). It was really starting to get on my nerves, always getting caught on things or grabbing at me, and the ends weren't nice. I wasn't enjoying it as much as I thought I would, but I was reluctant to cut because it had never been so long before.

After the cut, I immediately saw that the new length looked so much better on me! The ends are neat and healthy. I'm getting more compliments on my hair, though people don't seem to realize what I changed about it. I've already scheduled my next cut, so I can keep it at this length now and concentrate on quality over quantity.

I do recommend cutting, if that's what you're leaning towards, and of course if you don't like it, it will grow back!

[tlatzoteotl]

I only wear it loose once a week (it needs a full day to dry after being washed), but even that one day can be annoying with hair catching in my frames and getting tangled between my back and my seat. I'm also looking forward to better-looking ends.

Thanks for sharing. :) I need that positivity! LOL

I'm going to mull on this a few more days. I might not want to cut as much as would be needed to donate.

[Groovy Granny]

I have been at TBL and it was too much for my sensitive scalp :headache: and my arthritic joints.

I began by cutting an inch at a time until I found my sweet spot....long enough for a bun but comfortable down = between waist and hip.

My landmarks are just a couple inches apart so regrowth is fast; I trim as I feel it month to month or quarterly.

I would go slow, from landmark to landmark....trying your favorite/go to styles and take it from there.

It is remarkable you wish to donate but not needed IMHO and may be too much for you to be happy with.

Shorter hair requires more washing and daily styling, so I wouldn't go too short....esp. where you have thick hair.

Any bun can be modified by decreasing the number of fingers so play around with styles...do it your way...it doesn't have to be exact.

I find the nautilus to be easier than the LWB as instructed, which I vary by just wrapping hair around 2-3 fingers (skip the thumb) and then wrap the ends around the base.

You have much more thickness than I do and growing LONGER may be the better option for styles, but if you cut, better slow than sorry ;)

[harpgal]

About a year ago I trimmed back from ankle to knee. The last 14, or so, inches tangled terribly. I think the cuticle got rough because the hair was so old. I loved knee but found that I needed a few more inches to get my braid wrapped around my head in a neater way.

I have found that with longer hair, you can distribute the weight more easily. I used to make 2 braids and crisscross them around my head. I was above waist at that time. It wasn't until I reached near knee that I could wrap one braid around.

[MusicalSpoons]

Have you seen Haartraum's tutorials? This is for a LWB but you might find inspiration from some of her others too https://youtu.be/0q77ARorldc I'm certain she's a iii but of course iii can mean anything from 4" ponytail circumference to 7" (or hypothetically higher, but I've never heard of more than 7" naturally) so you may still have thicker hair, but just thought I'd mention her just in case.

I guess your options really are grow a little more to see if you can find a variety of comfortable styles, or cut. It sounds like you'd be happy with cutting, to be honest, but I would advise going conservatively unless you know you'd be equally happy with regrowing a bit to find a comfortable length if you cut off what turns out to be too much :)

[clandestine]

Please think about it or start with small trims.

I got emotional and felt trapped by my hair and other things and chopped my tailbone hair into a pixie in October. I regret it a lot and I'm back to growing. If you need a change think it over then make small changes at a time.

[Simsy]

Just as an aside, the LWB and Nautilus seem to be one of those situations where most people can do one or the other but not both for some reason. There’s no shame or judgment in that; I still can’t do an lwb but I’ve been doing slightly modified nautilus buns since waist.

I agree with the general sentiment expressed by others; if cutting helps you feel happier then by all means, cut. We aren’t going to judge you for doing what you need to. Sometimes a change in length is all you need. I do feel like learning a few more buns might also be a good idea if you’re willing. I do occasionally need to split my hair and bun in 2 or 3 batches, if I’m doing a particular bun that I have too much hair for. Multiple buns are also an option and can look quite cool with graduating sizes or linking them with smaller sections/braids. It kinda depends on why you started growing and what you want to do.

Hartruum (my spelling is lousy but she is mentioned upthread) and Torrin both have thick hair, and you might get some inspiration for how to work with the length and thickness. Good luck with whatever you decide.

[0xalis]

I think going back to like waist to start wouldn't be too horrible. If you were to regret it'd still be "long" and easy to grow back out, and if you wanted it shorter it's a good middle length to figure out from there.
In terms of heaviness have you ever considered an undercut? Another member recently decided for an undercut instead of layers cause she also doesn't like the way they look, and it helped. Just another option!

[The Lizard Wife]

My personal compromise, when I realized I'd hit a wall--because I wanted to be able to keep growing--was to do an undercut (got rid of weight, got rid of thickness, suddenly I can do at least 2 different kinds of buns consistently; I'm just now finally getting the upsides of longer hair for the first time). But for me, no length shorter than what I was at (or even the length I was at, with my full thickness) let me do what I wanted with my hair: to put it up quickly and protectively and without a lot of pain.

But it sounds like in one of your comments that you've found you can still do those things you'd want to do at a certain shorter length. I'd say, in that case, if you think you'd like to cut it then you should go ahead. Even if you were to regret not having super-long hair, you wouldn't have to regret "now I can't put it up at all anymore!" Anyway, your hair should make you happy. If you're not excitedly anticipating the growing journey, and you know you've got a length that works, then there's no real reason to push yourself to keep growing longer.

For your other question--whenever I do a significant chop, like with that undercut, I always separate my hair into a bunch of ponytails first and cut those off. That way I have my hair all neatly contained to save, if I want, or to donate at a later point if it's long enough. I worked hard to make that hair, I like to be able to see it after!

[Spikey]

This isn't for everyone, but how about an undercut? They're miserable to grow out, but if anyone should get them it's thick haired-people. My best friend had very thick, very heavy hair down to TBL and when she got one it helped her so much. She could do loads of new buns and styles afterwards, because it brought her down to "normal" thickness. And because the rest of her hair was still so thick, it was totally hidden whenever she put her hair down.

If you decide to do a big cut, I'm in the "two or three small ones" boat. For every Spidermom on here who wishes she cut in one big chop, there seem to be half a dozen others who regret losing years of work on a whim. Whatever you decide, we're happy you're enjoying your hair! Good luck and post pictures!!

EDIT: Whoops, Lizard Wife beat me to it on the undercut :p

[lapushka]

The reason I say the LWB is impossible is because I've never been able to manage it. My hair has either been too short or my hands weren't big enough or it was too difficult to loosen up enough to get the stick in place. Maybe I didn't find the right tutorial - most tutorials I've had change up the hold to account for the fact that my hair is thicker than the person doing the video (using just my thumb as the center instead of 3 or 4 fingers, for example).

My hair has been layered in the past, but I wasn't happy with the way it looked.

I've been examining my reasons for wanting to grow my hair long. Mainly I wanted to stop using hair ties, except to hold braids, & be able to quickly get my hair out of my face, which meant learning how to use hairsticks. I'll still be able to do this if I go back to the length in my profile pic.

I'm a iii as well, and I've only been able to bun since hitting waist/hip (hip/comfortably). BSL, I had to use claw clips because I was pulling hair out of my scalp trying. :lol:

Maybe it's not long enough for a LWB? Which is odd, because I could manage a LWB before a Nautilus, but we're all different so YMMV! I needed extra length for that one!!! Boy the Nautilus gave me trouble. :lol:

It's up to you, but I'd sleep on it a while.

Maybe cut back, if you are going to, in increments, don't just lob a huge chunk off in one go, go slowly. Say, 3 inches, see what it does for the weight?

[esfand]

I would just trim or find a way to thin it out if thickness is the problem. I am at a point where my hair seems to be getting in the way more to the point it's noticeable and I thought of cutting it back to waist length, but for me I figured out an easy go-to updo for myself (takes a bit more effort than my usual quick twist) that I do first thing in the morning that really helps keep the hair out of the way. I would try looking for a go-to updo before you decide to trim it off.

But, if you do decide to cut back on your hair, consider selling it than donating. From what I am guessing, sold hair has more chance of actually being used (and I heard a lot of donated hair just gets tossed or end up being sold anyway lol) and you can either use that money to improve your own life or donate it to the charity of your choice. Cash goes far.

[Jamesgrooms220]

I am also thinking to cut my hairs that are 20 inched long

[jane_marie]

I have really thick hair as well. Admittedly, mine is no where ;near as long as yours. However, as my layers continue to grow out I have had a harder and harder time finding something that works and is comfortable. What has worked best for me is to divide the hair into multiple braids/buns. That way your ;thickness ratio is cut in half. A couple of styles like this that have worked especially well for me are double figure 8s, three LWBs going down the center of the head like (a little bunhawk kinda thing), and a large down the center with two smaller ones near each ear. Also as silly as it sounds a high non twisted cinnabun is much better on my neck than a low anything. of course with all of this YMMV.

These looks are maybe a bit more involved but I have been found them all to be comfortable ways of dealing with my thickness ratio without boredom setting in. They might be worth trying before you chop it all off.

Also, for what it's worth if you are willing to part with some of your thickness getting a bit of thinning done at a salon might make you much more comfortable.

[Gabrielina]

My hair is also thick and the best length for me is between BSL and WL. So I would definitely have it professionaly cut to MBL with a beautiful U-shaped hemline, no layers - if I were in your position. :D

[lapushka]

I have really thick hair as well. Admittedly, mine is no where ;near as long as yours. However, as my layers continue to grow out I have had a harder and harder time finding something that works and is comfortable. What has worked best for me is to divide the hair into multiple braids/buns. That way your ;thickness ratio is cut in half. A couple of styles like this that have worked especially well for me are double figure 8s, three LWBs going down the center of the head like (a little bunhawk kinda thing), and a large down the center with two smaller ones near each ear. Also as silly as it sounds a high non twisted cinnabun is much better on my neck than a low anything. of course with all of this YMMV.

These looks are maybe a bit more involved but I have been found them all to be comfortable ways of dealing with my thickness ratio without boredom setting in. They might be worth trying before you chop it all off.

Also, for what it's worth if you are willing to part with some of your thickness getting a bit of thinning done at a salon might make you much more comfortable.

I do have to jump in here and say that for me personally, layering has worked, but thinning never did. I once had a pixie thinned out up to my roots (that hurt; she went all the way down to my roots with those shears). The hairdresser said my inch long hair looked like a lawn. :( Yeah, that thick (and... not even *that* thick, you know?) and even in longer hair it just frizzed up my hair, so for 2/3 hair or hair that is even getting remotely in the wavy area, I would not recommend it at all.

jane_marie, sidenote, does a LWB work for your entire head? It started to work for me past waist, more hip (hip was where it was comfortable to wear all of the time), but waist I could "form" the bun.

[jane_marie]

I do have to jump in here and say that for me personally, layering has worked, but thinning never did. I once had a pixie thinned out up to my roots (that hurt; she went all the way down to my roots with those shears). The hairdresser said my inch long hair looked like a lawn. :( Yeah, that thick (and... not even *that* thick, you know?) and even in longer hair it just frizzed up my hair, so for 2/3 hair or hair that is even getting remotely in the wavy area, I would not recommend it at all.

jane_marie, sidenote, does a LWB work for your entire head? It started to work for me past waist, more hip (hip was where it was comfortable to wear all of the time), but waist I could "form" the bun.

Thinning certainly shouldn't be done on curly hair at all but it works for me with my waves. OP is 1c so I think it could be a good bet for her as well... though I would never suggest thinning down to the roots. As a rule fine hair shouldn't be thinned with thinning shears at all. It usually shreds fine hair up terribly and causes masses of frizziness that will need to be cut. It's crazy how many horror stories there are around here from stylists being stupid and not thinking about their client's hair in a logical way.

To answer your question about the LWB I still cannot do an LWB using my entire head of hair. Last time I checked I wasn't able to make a full turn around the base still. As my layers and razoring have grown out a bit ponytail circumference has become noticeably larger.

It's stupid... and a bit worrisome as my goal is tailbone with a blunt hemline and it would be nice if there were some single buns out there that worked for me at that length. :shrug:

ETA: I can't do an LWB as a half up either. I just tried. That could be because my canopy layer is so short though.

[lapushka]

Thinning certainly shouldn't be done on curly hair at all but it works for me with my waves. OP is 1c so I think it could be a good bet for her as well... though I would never suggest thinning down to the roots. As a rule fine hair shouldn't be thinned with thinning shears at all. It usually shreds fine hair up terribly and causes masses of frizziness that will need to be cut. It's crazy how many horror stories there are around here from stylists being stupid and not thinking about their client's hair in a logical way.

Yep, I have F hair. Maybe she thought because there was so much of it, it wouldn't hurt. IDK, I never went back there, that's for sure. I know I complain about stylists, but there are good ones out there. Since age 5/6 and up to age 12 we had one stylist we always went to and she did an awesome job! We still have good memories of that place!


To answer your question about the LWB I still cannot do an LWB using my entire head of hair. Last time I checked I wasn't able to make a full turn around the base still. As my layers and razoring have grown out a bit ponytail circumference has become noticeably larger.

It's stupid... and a bit worrisome as my goal is tailbone with a blunt hemline and it would be nice if there were some single buns out there that worked for me at that length. :shrug:

ETA: I can't do an LWB as a half up either. I just tried. That could be because my canopy layer is so short though.

Thank you for answering my OT question, jane_marie. Pretty soon you'll be able to bun with ease, I'm sure! Just a couple more inches! :D The LWB was the first bun that ever worked for me, as it is a center-held bun and those are often the first ones you can do. It was the only bun that worked for me at hip and wanted to stay in at that length!

The Nautilus, now that one had me puzzled a good long while! :lol:

[jane_marie]

Yep, I have F hair. Maybe she thought because there was so much of it, it wouldn't hurt. IDK, I never went back there, that's for sure. I know I complain about stylists, but there are good ones out there. Since age 5/6 and up to age 12 we had one stylist we always went to and she did an awesome job! We still have good memories of that place!



Thank you for answering my OT question, jane_marie. Pretty soon you'll be able to bun with ease, I'm sure! Just a couple more inches! :D The LWB was the first bun that ever worked for me, as it is a center-held bun and those are often the first ones you can do. It was the only bun that worked for me at hip and wanted to stay in at that length!

The Nautilus, now that one had me puzzled a good long while! :lol:

FOr what it's worth, I can do something akin to an untwisted cinnabun. That's been my go-to recently and I like it well enough. I am looking forward to other buns though.

[lapushka]

FOr what it's worth, I can do something akin to an untwisted cinnabun. That's been my go-to recently and I like it well enough. I am looking forward to other buns though.

Awesome! Good luck on further styling, jane_marie. More and more options will become available to you... very soon!
Anyway I don't want to further sidetrack here. :o

[tlatzoteotl]

Thanks for all the thoughtful replies! :) I gave up on the idea of donating and ended up only taking off about 6-7 inches, which landed me at TBL. I followed Haartraum's guide for cutting your own hair, which I have done in the past, but it didn't turn out quite as good as the last time I did it. That is, my hemline isn't quite right. Someone asked if I had watched her videos...I have. I like Torrin, too. Haartraum's YT page is where I found the Spock bun - I think her hair must be a little thinner than mine because she didn't seem to have issues holding everything in place while wrapping like I do. I have tried so many tutorials, lol. I think my modified nautilus is just going to be it for me for life. I guess that's OK. :) I do occasionally try doing something with braids, but if a style takes longer than a minute or two I'm usually not interested. I'd do space buns if I could manage to get them symmetrical, but that just seems to be beyond me.

So, my mission now is to get the hemline fixed. I'm good with TBL. It almost feels short, lmao! I'm strongly considering a V-cut. Not a super deep V, but something to thin out the ends without doing something drastic like the suggested undercut or thinning. My hair is a mix of thin & coarse & straight & wavy, and finicky af to boot. I think the V might help me with tucking in the ends on my bun. Right now it's kinda messy looking with the ends peeking out of the bottom or poking out of the middle. Definitely glad I didn't go any shorter. Very happy that my bun is now small enough that I can use my XXL braided leather Lilla Rose thingy again. It's not a clip, but it loops around either end of a 5 inch stick & looks pretty.

[tlatzoteotl]

I decided to try a few more Haartraum videos today, and now I think maybe she's just got bigger hands than I do. LOL My hair seems to be almost exactly like hers - color, texture, & thickness. She might be the only person I've ever seen with hair just like mine. I have German grandparents, so maybe we have common ancestors.

I was able to do the LWB following her tutorial! So, that was fun. She didn't do the thing I've seen in other videos where people hook their hair around their thumb and then stretch the thumb back before wrapping. That was the part I couldn't do. I think with a teensy bit more length I can do her twisted wrap bun without ends flying everywhere.

[Dark40]

I decided to try a few more Haartraum videos today, and now I think maybe she's just got bigger hands than I do. LOL My hair seems to be almost exactly like hers - color, texture, & thickness. She might be the only person I've ever seen with hair just like mine. I have German grandparents, so maybe we have common ancestors.

I was able to do the LWB following her tutorial! So, that was fun. She didn't do the thing I've seen in other videos where people hook their hair around their thumb and then stretch the thumb back before wrapping. That was the part I couldn't do. I think with a teensy bit more length I can do her twisted wrap bun without ends flying everywhere.

It's good that you decided to cut it to TBL. That is a nice length. It's not too long and not too short. I'm so sorry that you can't handle it at classic length though. I've never had my hair as long as yours either. But right now, it's 2 inches below WL. I'm trying to grow mine out to classic or mid-thigh length but as I'm letting my hair grow out I do wear it up in half-buns and ponytails but not all day long. That gets pretty boring for me. That's why I wear it hanging down at times.

[Untressed]

I'm thinking about cutting my barely waist length hair back to reduce thinning at the ends. Worried that even if I do, I could suffer another shed and be in worse shape. It's a pickle.

[desisparkles]

I'm thinking about cutting my barely waist length hair back to reduce thinning at the ends. Worried that even if I do, I could suffer another shed and be in worse shape. It's a pickle.

What about micro trimming so you get the hemline you want but slowly so you keep your length?

[Ylva]

I'm thinking about cutting my barely waist length hair back to reduce thinning at the ends. Worried that even if I do, I could suffer another shed and be in worse shape. It's a pickle.

Those thinner ends will help you a lot in bunning. If wearing your hair in a bun is your thing, I'd keep the thinner ends. In the spring of last year, I cut my thinned-out BCL hair up to solid hip (quite a long distance on me), and suddenly, buns just wouldn't hold.

[LittleHealthy]

From reading your post, my first thought is to get a professional to put some layers in your hair, you could specify, layers from waist down or something.
Secondly, if your hair is very heavy and thick, a bun is probably the worst way to distribute that weight, unless it was directly on the top of your head! You could try some braiding and pinning it around your head evenly etc.
Ultimately (for me) enjoyment is the reason for having long hair, sorry it's proving to be a pain at the moment!

[Untressed]

What about micro trimming so you get the hemline you want but slowly so you keep your length?

Micro trimming sounds like something that could help. Thank you for bringing it up.

[Untressed]

Those thinner ends will help you a lot in bunning. If wearing your hair in a bun is your thing, I'd keep the thinner ends. In the spring of last year, I cut my thinned-out BCL hair up to solid hip (quite a long distance on me), and suddenly, buns just wouldn't hold.

Thank you for mentioning that. I am starting to wear my hair up more to keep it from tangling.