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The Maple Leaf
October 30th, 2019, 03:16 PM
A question for the other guys with long hair on these boards: would you share your experiences with how partners/potential partners have reacted to your having long hair (or, where applicable, your decision to grow your hair long)? Some specific points to consider:



Do you think having long hair has made it more difficult for you to find a partner? Does the hair/beard combination add to or subtract anything from the equation? Is a man growing his hair long the equivalent (in women's eyes) of a woman getting a short pixie cut (in a man's eyes)?




Have women's reactions been largely negative? Or positive?




Are there certain types of women, in any sense, who are attracted to men with long hair?




Do women who like long hair on men tend to have long hair, or any other kind of hair, themselves?


On my part, I have little to contribute to the discussion as I have never had a sustained relationship with a woman; the most I can mention is that over the years, a few women I was not interested in have commented that my hair (bob-length and rarely grown out to shoulders or almost so) was odd or would look better shorter, or that I should tie it back (don't remember if any woman ever actually told me she liked it). Also that one girl with whom I went on one casual date and friend-zoned quickly after (aside: likely a big mistake in hindsight) told me the second time we saw each other that she didn't like my beard.

Groovy Granny
October 30th, 2019, 04:37 PM
Are there certain types of women, in any sense, who are attracted to men with long hair?

Whereabouts are you located....could location have an influence?

I am in the Northeast corner of the US, 90 minutes inland from the coast (rural forested area) and long hair on men is a rare sight of any age.
My DS has a well kept beard and short hair and get badgered at times about it.

Personally I like well kept long hair on men,as an old hippie :flower:
My DH of 46 years tried to grow his out when I started here at LHC (we were 61 then) but he caved when it hit his collar.
His longest was almost shoulder length when we married in '73.
He is old school, could care less about hair care, and is happier having a barber clean him up every 4-5 weeks in the usual men's short cut.
He had a beard but short hair for about 10 years in his 30's and 40's.

I tried :lol:
Though I am sure we would have gotten comments, because I am a rare bird here; being almost 68 and a silver long hair...when everyone curls up and dyes their short hair :p

I am unsure of your age, but I am sorry to hear about your negative experiences.

LHC has a fair number of longhair men and women married to longhair...I hope they can be of more help/support. :)

EdG
October 30th, 2019, 05:30 PM
It sounds like your hair and beard have been an effective filter. ;)

All things considered, hair is not very high on the scale of importance. I am guessing that you are young and the people who you have been dating have not given much thought to what they want.

Don't change for the sake of others. People have to like you the way you are. :)

For the record, I receive only complements on my hair. :)
Ed

The Maple Leaf
October 30th, 2019, 05:47 PM
Whereabouts are you located....could location have an influence?

...

I am unsure of your age, but I am sorry to hear about your negative experiences.

...



Thank you, I just turned 40. Location could be a factor, I don't know. I'm Canadian, originally from Toronto, but have not lived there for most of my adult life. None of the comments that I referred to above save one came from there; rather women I met in Prague, the Czech Republic (that's where I have spent a total of 12 years of my life and I am a naturalized Czech citizen). You do see men with long hair around town here, but they are few and far between and I suspect many of them belong to certain "tribes" or segments of the population.



It sounds like your hair and beard have been an effective filter. ;)

All things considered, hair is not very high on the scale of importance. I am guessing that you are young and the people who you have been dating have not given much thought to what they want.

Don't change for the sake of others. People have to like you the way you are. :)

For the record, I receive only complements on my hair. :)
Ed

The comments I referred to above have been dispersed over many years; truth be told, I've received much more criticism of my appearance from men than from women. I agree that my hair might as well serve as a kind of filter for those that don't care for my type; OTOH, I myself have desires as to how I wish my partner's hair to look, so can understand if a woman has her own preferences as to a man's appearance. What's good for the goose is good for the gander. Not saying it's the only priority, but it would be nice to find someone whose preferences and appearance complement mine and vice versa.

lapushka
October 30th, 2019, 05:54 PM
Thank you, I just turned 40. Location could be a factor, I don't know. I'm Canadian, originally from Toronto, but have not lived there for most of my adult life. None of the comments that I referred to above save one came from there; rather women I met in Prague, the Czech Republic (that's where I have spent a total of 12 years of my life and I am a naturalized Czech citizen). You do see men with long hair around town here, but they are few and far between and I suspect many of them belong to certain "tribes" or segments of the population.




The comments I referred to above have been dispersed over many years; truth be told, I've received much more criticism of my appearance from men than from women. I agree that my hair might as well serve as a kind of filter for those that don't care for my type; OTOH, I myself have desires as to how I wish my partner's hair to look, so can understand if a woman has her own preferences as to a man's appearance. What's good for the goose is good for the gander. Not saying it's the only priority, but it would be nice to find someone whose preferences and appearance complement mine and vice versa.

My parents have been married over 50 years. They leave each other "be". Their appearance, their decision. At some point you need to let that go a bit, because... I fear it is gonna be slim pickin's otherwise. ;)

The Maple Leaf
October 30th, 2019, 06:41 PM
My parents have been married over 50 years. They leave each other "be". Their appearance, their decision. At some point you need to let that go a bit, because... I fear it is gonna be slim pickin's otherwise. ;)

Boy, I really wasn't thinking of taking the thread in this direction but...just to be clear, no one's talking about controlling anyone's appearance (God forbid!); of course it's every partner's final decision what they do or don't do with their body/appearance. Nor did I necessarily imply any dealbreakers here. But - and this is again just a non-binding opinion - I think it is a good relationship practice if partners take account of what the other considers to be attractive (and especially of what the other considers unattractive; the "desires" I referred to above refer more to not looking a certain way that turns me off than to adhering to a look that I actively like). To the extent, of course, that pleasing the other remains voluntary and does not require an undue sacrifice of the partner or force them to step outside their comfort zone. I don't agree with those who think a relationship should only be about "what is inside". Of course that is important, but attraction also has a physical/aesthetic side to it.

A good example: I was one of those who wasn't happy when Alex Trebek of Jeopardy! shaved off his iconic mustache in 2001. Not that I obsessed with it, but I always thought he just wasn't the same without it, and wished he would grow it back. Then in 2014 he did grow it back, and purported to run a poll among fans as to whether or not he should keep it. He shaved it off again shortly, the poll suggesting about a 50-50 split as to whether the mustache should stay. It was however implied that his wife had a strong say in the final outcome. Later in 2018, Trebek played on the same theme, growing a full beard and getting fans' opinions while shaving it down bit by bit. Although 75% were purportedly in favor of the beard, he explicitly came out and said that his wife's wish that he be clean-shaven had been the decisive factor. Already after the 2014 re-grow and shave I figured, yes. He should look good for his wife, who has to look at him every day and kiss him, and not for some geeky fan like myself. No one should feel forced to make such concessions, but to the extent that you're comfortable with making them, why not? Speaking for myself, I can say for example that, while I prefer to keep my hair bob-length (I consider it even a signature look), if some woman liked the idea of my growing my hair out really long, I would likely be willing to do so to please her. Or to give another example, while I'm obviously at complete liberty to get a tattoo at any time, I would never get a tattoo without the explicit and freely given permission of any partner I had at a given time. Moreover, suppose I already had a tattoo. If I had a solid partner whom I cared for, I would consider having it removed if she didn't like it (and in exchange, she might, for example, commit to not wearing her hair a certain way - again if such consent is freely given). All this is easy for me to say, as I don't particularly want a tattoo, but hypothetically that could change one day (while I don't actually want to get a tattoo or go through with the needles and everything, I have mused on what design I would get if I did want one). Still, I would personally and voluntarily consider being pleasing to my partner (or, in particular, not having something that displeases them) to be more important than my right to have a tattoo. While I certainly wouldn't get a complete makeover to please a partner or likely give up something that's really important to me, I'm not adamant about her having to "take me as I am" in every little detail at any given moment in time. A relationship is about give and take, and I don't see why this shouldn't also apply to personal appearance within reason, subject to it being voluntary, and within the bounds of what one can find acceptable to give in to. Just my personal, completely non-binding opinion.

MoonRabbit
October 30th, 2019, 06:58 PM
I prefer my partner with longer hair and a long beard. He enjoys it as well but my attraction is still a contributing factor. He also prefers me with long hair. I

Nothing wrong with having a physical type.

Seeshami
October 30th, 2019, 07:28 PM
As a woman my personal instant reaction is to ask to braid the long hair. Beyond that it is encouragement.

I have braided a lot of breads. It's gotten a little out of control, I might even have a reputation now

desisparkles
October 30th, 2019, 07:39 PM
As a woman my personal instant reaction is to ask to braid the long hair. Beyond that it is encouragement.

I have braided a lot of breads. It's gotten a little out of control, I might even have a reputation now

:bigeyes::bigeyes::bigeyes::bigeyes::bigeyes:

gettin' racy up in here!!

:misskim:

dyna
October 30th, 2019, 07:49 PM
So much depends. I'm 71, with a fairly bushy beard and "BSL" hair length that I usually wear in a ponytail with a scrunchie. Or in a bun if I'm going to be crawling under a car or working with machine tools, to keep it out of the way and protect it (and me). Or maybe down more now that it's getting cold, to keep my ears warm.

In the US of the 1960s there would have been a lot of negative reactions, though probably more from other men. Today, in an urban area, mostly nobody says anything. Outside the US, I have no clue, I'm sure there may be different local preferences. A few times women I didn't know have complimented me on my hair. And my GF (I already had long hair when I met her) wanted me to get her a barrette like the one I was wearing.

If somebody isn't attracted to me, is it my the length of my hair? Or its colour? My politics? My height or weight? My ethnic background? That I'm opinionated? My witty conversation (or lack thereof)? It's very difficult to tease out the importance of hair from all the other facets of existence. (If you're going to have long hair, do take care of it, because nobody is attracted to greasy hair.) So I don't worry about it. There's probably a class element, I suspect that an upwardly mobile BMW-driving professional woman, or someone fixated on status or consumerism, or a conservative/traditional type might react more poorly. But maybe that's because I'm a bit biased against those types. (Or that might address whether there are certain types of woman who don't like long hair on their guys.)

In my opinion, whether a woman is attracted to a man is subject to all the same sort of mixed rational and irrational factors as influence a man's reaction to a woman. And sometimes, if they get to know you, that will override all the irrelevant stuff. Hair is likely irrelevant, once past the initial impression.

Todd
October 30th, 2019, 08:34 PM
Have women's reactions been largely negative? Or positive?


It is worth mentioning that its hard to tell how most people react to my hair, men or women, since about 99.9% of them say nothing. The few that do comment, generally are positive. I can't even remember the last time I received a negative comment about my hair, but who knows, maybe those people are just being polite and saying nothing.

cjk
October 30th, 2019, 08:42 PM
I've always been known for my beautiful hair. It's been one of my defining features, my entire life.

Hairdressers play with it. Barbers drool over it. People randomly come up to me in the street to compliment it or run their fingers through it. I remember one time, as a younger man, walking down the street with my mother, I had taken her shopping. A woman pulled her car off the road, parked, got out, and came up to us to comment on my hair.

For the first 37 years of my life it was kept in some variation of a pompadour. Expressive but normal enough. Then prednisone took my beautiful hair and gave me a bald spot. For 12 years, now, I've played with different styles and learned a few things.

First, the prednisone bald spot...flattop to the rescue. A very intentional style, with a bald stripe down the center. And I rocked it. Different people came up to me, weirdos who petted my hair. Apparently there is a flattop ****** and I was checking all the right boxes.

I grew my beard. And grew. And grew. Long beard, and I do go on stage at beard competitions. And...different people come up and touch it, pet it, fondle it, smell it and more.

I shaved my head completely bald with a cancer friend. Shiny smooth. Turns out I have a good shaped skull and healthy shiny skin, so it was a signature look. Bald head and a beard. And different people would fondle my scalp. Tickle it. Rub it. Kiss it. Even once, lick it.

I grew back my hair. January will be 3 years. And I have long curly blond hair that is very healthy. And a big beard. And...different people, yet, give me attention. Checking out at the grocery store I have people pet my head and smell my hair. And twiddle with my braids.

The first time I went in public kilted, I was invited on a cruise by a friend and his husband.

While the specific people vary, the attention never ends. I've had women come and, by the legal definition of unwanted touching, sexually assault me in public. Don't get me started on the cougars. And I've had men do it too. One MIDDLE AGED man came and grabbed my beard, yanking on it to see if it was real. Said it was so pretty he just had to come over and feel it.

The attention never ends!

Part of your question was about potential partners. Men and women both have responded favorably to me in all my styles, from hairy to razored. Obviously it's not the hair that is determining attractiveness.

SpottedBackson
October 30th, 2019, 11:02 PM
I very much agree with Lapushka about slim pickings and what not but if it makes you feel better... I'm a woman, I'm in a relationship with a long-haired man (it was mid-back length but a sacrilegious hairdresser cut it back to APL) and I think it's HAWT. :)

On your point about beards, if a man has a nice face, it's a shame to hide it with a beard in my humble opinion. I also remember reading about research shows that women are more attracted to men if they can read their emotions on their faces and beards can hamper this... but ultimately you do you and eventually you'll end up with someone who likes you just the way you are.

SpottedBackson
October 30th, 2019, 11:05 PM
On your point about beards, if a man has a nice face, it's a shame to hide it with a beard in my humble opinion.

Perhaps I should clarify, this is a preference but definitely not a dealbreaker.

EdG
October 31st, 2019, 01:08 AM
As a woman my personal instant reaction is to ask to braid the long hair. I have had that happen.

A lady comes up to me with that gleam in her eyes and says in a low, soft voice "I want to Braid. Your. Hair.":eyebrows:

Yikes! :run:

In hindsight, I should have let her braid my hair. :doh: :rollin:
Ed

The Maple Leaf
October 31st, 2019, 04:09 AM
I have had that happen.

A lady comes up to me with that gleam in her eyes and says in a low, soft voice "I want to Braid. Your. Hair.":eyebrows:

Yikes! :run:

In hindsight, I should have let her braid my hair. :doh: :rollin:
Ed

LOL maybe you should have ;)

Faraniel
October 31st, 2019, 06:27 AM
I like long hair but, same as with women, it has to be well kept...and I understand most guys don't have patience for it.

Also, the most long-haired guys in CZ I have ever seen would be all kinds of medieval reenactors or people who are generally interested in that type of thing. And of course metalheads. Surprisingly, these two groups ofte overlap.

The Maple Leaf
October 31st, 2019, 10:24 AM
Also, the most long-haired guys in CZ I have ever seen would be all kinds of medieval reenactors or people who are generally interested in that type of thing. And of course metalheads. Surprisingly, these two groups ofte overlap.

True, I know those types. In fact, I am into reenactment myself, as are many of my friends. It is quite popular here (the periods I do are not the Middle Ages but rather the American Civil War and the Austro-Prussian war).

lapushka
October 31st, 2019, 11:28 AM
Boy, I really wasn't thinking of taking the thread in this direction but...just to be clear, no one's talking about controlling anyone's appearance (God forbid!); of course it's every partner's final decision what they do or don't do with their body/appearance. Nor did I necessarily imply any dealbreakers here. But - and this is again just a non-binding opinion - I think it is a good relationship practice if partners take account of what the other considers to be attractive (and especially of what the other considers unattractive; the "desires" I referred to above refer more to not looking a certain way that turns me off than to adhering to a look that I actively like). To the extent, of course, that pleasing the other remains voluntary and does not require an undue sacrifice of the partner or force them to step outside their comfort zone. I don't agree with those who think a relationship should only be about "what is inside". Of course that is important, but attraction also has a physical/aesthetic side to it.

A good example: I was one of those who wasn't happy when Alex Trebek of Jeopardy! shaved off his iconic mustache in 2001. Not that I obsessed with it, but I always thought he just wasn't the same without it, and wished he would grow it back. Then in 2014 he did grow it back, and purported to run a poll among fans as to whether or not he should keep it. He shaved it off again shortly, the poll suggesting about a 50-50 split as to whether the mustache should stay. It was however implied that his wife had a strong say in the final outcome. Later in 2018, Trebek played on the same theme, growing a full beard and getting fans' opinions while shaving it down bit by bit. Although 75% were purportedly in favor of the beard, he explicitly came out and said that his wife's wish that he be clean-shaven had been the decisive factor. Already after the 2014 re-grow and shave I figured, yes. He should look good for his wife, who has to look at him every day and kiss him, and not for some geeky fan like myself. No one should feel forced to make such concessions, but to the extent that you're comfortable with making them, why not? Speaking for myself, I can say for example that, while I prefer to keep my hair bob-length (I consider it even a signature look), if some woman liked the idea of my growing my hair out really long, I would likely be willing to do so to please her. Or to give another example, while I'm obviously at complete liberty to get a tattoo at any time, I would never get a tattoo without the explicit and freely given permission of any partner I had at a given time. Moreover, suppose I already had a tattoo. If I had a solid partner whom I cared for, I would consider having it removed if she didn't like it (and in exchange, she might, for example, commit to not wearing her hair a certain way - again if such consent is freely given). All this is easy for me to say, as I don't particularly want a tattoo, but hypothetically that could change one day (while I don't actually want to get a tattoo or go through with the needles and everything, I have mused on what design I would get if I did want one). Still, I would personally and voluntarily consider being pleasing to my partner (or, in particular, not having something that displeases them) to be more important than my right to have a tattoo. While I certainly wouldn't get a complete makeover to please a partner or likely give up something that's really important to me, I'm not adamant about her having to "take me as I am" in every little detail at any given moment in time. A relationship is about give and take, and I don't see why this shouldn't also apply to personal appearance within reason, subject to it being voluntary, and within the bounds of what one can find acceptable to give in to. Just my personal, completely non-binding opinion.

Granted, I had no idea where you were coming from. Thank you for explaining it a bit more. :)

RunOnCaffeine
October 31st, 2019, 12:26 PM
Largely, I prefer it. When I was 10, I told my mum I wasn't having a boyfriend unless he had long hair (80s influence showing!).

I didn't have a boyfriend until I turned 17 - we've been together 11 years and his hair is longer than mine :)

Seeshami
October 31st, 2019, 08:02 PM
I have had that happen.

A lady comes up to me with that gleam in her eyes and says in a low, soft voice "I want to Braid. Your. Hair.":eyebrows:

Yikes! :run:

In hindsight, I should have let her braid my hair. :doh: :rollin:
Ed

Generally for me it is Squeeeeeeeee long hair! Can I braid it?

leayellena
November 1st, 2019, 02:48 AM
when I first visited germany and met my then-friend-now-partner I saw many guys with long hair. some had a small ponytail on the back, some others had ponytail to their waist(!). I found a bit strange that my friend had a sad curly ponytail. now his hair is 2b/2c reaching collarbone curly and apl stretched. I find it nice to see everyone in germany is doing their thing without a care in the world.

Faraniel
November 1st, 2019, 03:27 AM
True, I know those types. In fact, I am into reenactment myself, as are many of my friends. It is quite popular here (the periods I do are not the Middle Ages but rather the American Civil War and the Austro-Prussian war).

I've seen knights knocking each other from horses and it was brilliant, even better than ice hockey :D

Ligeia Noire
November 1st, 2019, 11:24 AM
Love long hair on both but beard is a must have for me on men.
My celtic background perhaps..
However, the long hair thing is not even important anymore. I've always wanted someone with long hair and dated one with waist length hair but ended up marrying an army guy and suffice to say, he loves his hair very very short and i can't fathom him any other way. Again, when you fall in love, all else is secondary. He has to put up with *The Ring* chick too.

SleepyTangles
November 1st, 2019, 11:34 AM
Iīm not a guy and Iīm not interested in men, but Iīd throw here my perspective as a southern/Mediterranean European. Feel free to skip it if youīre not interested in indirect experience :flower:

how partners/potential partners have reacted to your having long hair (or, where applicable, your decision to grow your hair long)?
In the last five to eight years Iīve seen a distinct trend for well groomed facial hair and long hair. Not only in the form of undercut (partially shaven parts and distinctly longer tops) but Iīalso all-over long hair. In my friendship circle, 3 times out of 4 was the girlfriend herself that asks the boy to let his hair grow longer. Usually beard is more a choice of the boy himself.
In my experience long hair alone without a beard, is less common than long hair+beard combo and short hair+beard combo. Probably because long hair, as something regarded traditionally as feminine in the last 200 years, itīs easier to sport in association with something traditionally masculine as a beard.


Do you think having long hair has made it more difficult for you to find a partner? Does the hair/beard combination add to or subtract anything from the equation? Is a man growing his hair long the equivalent (in women's eyes) of a woman getting a short pixie cut (in a man's eyes)?

Itīs IMHO very well accepted and I doubt it puts the man at disadvantage in the quest for a partner - mostly it gives an advantage. In my circle of closest male, straight friends , 4 men out of 5 have a beard, 3 out of 5 have long-ish hair (a.k.a. shoulder length).
A beard is particularly useful in shaping your face: it can chisel your features, hide a weak chin and conceal old acne scarring.
I have to say that all my friends, despite being all very different in style and appearance, are all good-looking guys: they keep fit and dress properly and smartly (in different ways, but they all do),. If they were flaccid or unkempt I donīt think that hairstyle and beard would save them.



Have women's reactions been largely negative? Or positive?
Iīve seen mostly positive reaction from girls.


Are there certain types of women, in any sense, who are attracted to men with long hair?
Not really. Iīd say that women over thirty may have (sometimes) an aversion to it, but I think that everyone is able to appreciate a good-looking man, even if their hairstyle is not her personal favourite. Girls and young women of very religious/conservative background have sometimes expressed a strong dislike for long hair in men - as something unproper, but there where like... three girls in a lifetime. Not enough to make a statistic.


Do women who like long hair on men tend to have long hair, or any other kind of hair, themselves?
I donīt think thereīs any correlation between the hairstyle of the girl and her boyfriend.


Hope this can help.
Donīt feel discourages. The hoplites of Sparta wore their hair long because: "If a warriorīs face is handsome, long hair makes him look even more handsome. If his face is scary, long hair will make him look even more scary".

cjk
November 2nd, 2019, 08:03 PM
Tonight I was at a church dinner, a celebration for the 50th wedding anniversary of one of our deacons. Beautiful function.

One of the server ladies looked at me and said she was "in awe of those curls."

Since the lady in front of me in the line had curly hair I pointed and agreed, hers is very pretty. "No, I mean yours!" Oh...I think I blushed bright red.

I've found that, for better or worse, women tend to GUSH over my hair.

A.D.
November 24th, 2019, 10:08 PM
It has always been a dream of mine to have long hair. I finally had the opportunity to start letting them grow 7-8 years ago, from 1 inch long. Now they reach my lower back. I'm 61 ....but look more like 45. I get compliments on my long hair every week, in places like at the supermarket but also at the bank! Some women are pretty straight forward and touch my hair with their fingers. I love it!

Zesty
November 25th, 2019, 06:35 AM
This question is not really directed at me BUT my husband has quite long hair for a guy (the equivalent of BSL I'd say, it would be waist on me but he has a very long torso) and I only ever hear compliments or neutral observations. If he had had long hair while single I for one wouldn't have been put off.

I think it helps that it's gorgeous -- silky but with beautiful volume and movement, and thick wavy ends. It's easy to be envious. :p

By the way, I see what you're saying with making aesthetic concessions to your partner. DH had short hair and only accidental facial hair when we got together, and I think growing both hair and beard out were influenced by my preferences. He's said he always preferred long hair on himself but I think I was the tipping point. On the flip side, I would have (and have had) long hair regardless of my partner but fortunately he's fond of it.

ZoeZ
November 25th, 2019, 07:53 AM
I'm going to be the outlier here and say that I prefer short hair on my men - it's totally a personal preference, I just love the look and feel of short hair, it's very sexy to me. I certainly don't object to long hair as a style for men, and have met a few with long hair who looked absolutely beautiful (think Fabian, lol) but somehow it just doesn't attract me as a woman. I did always feel a bit less feminine around men with hair longer than mine when I was younger (especially when it was prettier than mine, lol) so maybe a bit of insecurity at play as well.

I'm of an older generation as well (60-ish) so I don't know if it's merely the brainwashing of my particular era... I just know what I like. But I admire all people who have the courage to go against the norms and live life on their own terms.

Xena1975
November 25th, 2019, 07:55 AM
Largely, I prefer it. When I was 10, I told my mum I wasn't having a boyfriend unless he had long hair (80s influence showing!).

I didn't have a boyfriend until I turned 17 - we've been together 11 years and his hair is longer than mine :)

I grew up in the 80s too.

I don't date any more but if I was looking for a partner the very first thing I look for as far as appearance goes is long hair, the longer the better.

lapushka
November 25th, 2019, 09:07 AM
I'm going to be the outlier here and say that I prefer short hair on my men - it's totally a personal preference, I just love the look and feel of short hair, it's very sexy to me. I certainly don't object to long hair as a style for men, and have met a few with long hair who looked absolutely beautiful (think Fabian, lol) but somehow it just doesn't attract me as a woman. I did always feel a bit less feminine around men with hair longer than mine when I was younger (especially when it was prettier than mine, lol) so maybe a bit of insecurity at play as well.

Up to this point I totally agree. It's just personal preference, but I have known men with long(er) hair and that was no problem for me.

Laurab
November 25th, 2019, 09:29 AM
Can't speak from any personal experience, but my brother's best friend use to have really long hair, all through middle and high school.
He ended up cutting it mid college because he was having trouble finding a job and thought it was hurting his chances.
He still kept it on the logner side, like chin length, but we were all so sad to see it go!
I'm not sure how long it is now, it's been a few years, but I think he decided to grow it out again.
He had a girlfriend through several years in high school, and I know he's dated a couple of girls in college. No clue if he thinks the hair helps or hurts, but we all think it suits him.
Really the more important thing is he's like, one of the nicest guy's I've ever met, and he's really smart and passionate about his work (he's in school for biology stuff). I feel like he could shave off random chunks of his hair and get a face tattoo and he'd still be able to find a date because he's a great guy.

I think finding dates in this world is less about changing your appearance to fit other people's preferences (when we can only guess what those even are) and more about finding people you connect with who happen to like you how you're comfortable.

iforgotmylogin
November 25th, 2019, 10:17 AM
My mother and my landlady both nag me to cut it, but in the case of the former, it might be about other people's perceptions when trying to get somewhere

When I cut myself bangs, it seemed more of a surprise when I let it out of beanie or hood or anything that covers it, than it did when I had long hair all over

Currently just short of elbow length and heavily layered. I was growing out the bangs, but I cut them (too) short again the other day after a few drinks. First time I cut bangs, they were brow-length and sat blunt. Now they sit up a bit and I look like an anime character lol

0xalis
November 25th, 2019, 01:15 PM
My mom absolutely loves long hair and is a large part of why she wanted to date my father.
And while I don't date men, I find long haired men to be the most attractive.
I always go out of my way to compliment long haired men I meet just in case they're receiving pressure from others in their lives to cut it!

ETA:


I think finding dates in this world is less about changing your appearance to fit other people's preferences (when we can only guess what those even are) and more about finding people you connect with who happen to like you how you're comfortable.

Amen!!!

lakhesis
November 25th, 2019, 01:47 PM
Thank you, I just turned 40. Location could be a factor, I don't know. I'm Canadian, originally from Toronto, but have not lived there for most of my adult life. None of the comments that I referred to above save one came from there; rather women I met in Prague, the Czech Republic (that's where I have spent a total of 12 years of my life and I am a naturalized Czech citizen). You do see men with long hair around town here, but they are few and far between and I suspect many of them belong to certain "tribes" or segments of the population.

Oh no, I am sorry you are getting these kind of comments here, in Prague. Truth is, people here are just way more blunt (/voicing their opinion without being even asked) than elsewhere. I had to readjust myself to that when I moved back. I wouldn't take it personally and I would definitely not change my appearance just based on comments like these.

I can see where you are going with the "tribes". However I do also see men with long hair in corporate offices at my work (especially after all that man bun craze). Just the other day I saw a man with long dreadlocks in a full suit working for a bank and I would say it really looked cool, I loved the constrast of it.

Dung Beetle
November 26th, 2019, 06:24 AM
I've always loved long hair on men. I've talked my husband out of cutting his for a few years now. It's about APL, silver and curly (and beautiful, though he hardly takes care of it!) He looks like a wizard. :love: